Moiraine needs to sleep. But is it safe to sleep? And she is still unsure about her relationship with Lan. How much damage has she caused?

at guest: It makes me very happy to read that you like my story. I hope you will like the rest of it too. Thank you for reading and your review.

Moiraine, Lan, and Rand rode for two more hours, then had to stop after the Aes Sedai had almost fallen off the mare's back twice. She was tired and could barely keep her eyes open. Yet, she protested when Lan dismounted the horse and announced they would make camp.

"You said you wanted to get away as far as possible," she argued. "We're barely out of their reach."

"You're exhausted."

"I'll be all right."

Instead of an answer, the Warder grabbed his Aes Sedai's waist and pulled her off the mare's back.

Moiraine shrieked, then threw her arms around Lan's neck. The stubborn man carried her to the trees where she would be shielded from the wind before he started to unsaddle the mare.

Rand ignored both the Cairhien woman and the Malkieri. He was also tired, and his head still hurt from the unhappy meeting with Barthanes and his 'guards'.

"Lan." Moiraine got back on her feet, only to sink back on her knees. The world around her was moving dangerously! Bloody wine! It hasn't been good to drink that much when I'm already barely sleeping!

The woman of the Blue Ajah took deep breaths to calm her senses. She needed to get back on her feet. She couldn't sleep! Lanfear would be waiting for her! – Waiting to kill her!

"Moiraine?" Lan's voice appeared beside her, and Moiraine realized he had returned with her bags. Light, even her Warder was moving, though she was certain he kneeled beside her! Stupid alcohol!

Lan's cold hands cupped her face, checking on her eyes. "You need to rest." Carefully, he rearranged her position so she was leaning against the trunk of a tree.

Moiraine whimpered when a wave of nausea moved over her. Lan opened a waterskin – Jhonas had given them enough provisions to survive a few days – and placed it against Moiraine's lips. Thirsty, the woman of the Blue Ajah opened her mouth and swallowed the water.

Once she was done, the uncrowned king of Malkier handed her the waterskin to hold on to while he prepared her bedroll.

"Lan. I can't sleep."

"You can barely keep your eyes open. When was the last time you had a full night's sleep?"

A full night's sleep. It felt like ages ago. "I don't remember," she admitted whispering. Her Warder didn't like her answer. She saw his facial muscles moving, though he didn't say anything. What was he thinking?

The woman of the Blue Ajah reached out a hand and touched Lan's temple, right underneath his Hadori. She missed his calm presence in her head. She missed his feelings and… she missed everything about him.

Lan sighed heavily, and his face relaxed under her touch. "It would be dangerous to continue. Your nephew and his guards won't follow us in the middle of the night."

"Yet, I can't sleep."

"Moiraine…," Lan sighed.

"Lanfear could be waiting for her." The boy from the Two Rivers placed his own bedroll beside the Aes Sedai and the Warder. He looked like he would fall asleep at any moment.

"What do you mean Lanfear could be waiting for her?! Where?!" Lan's voice was sharp when he addressed Rand, but the Dragon didn't even realize it.

"I stabbed her and cut her throat to save Rand from her," Moiraine explained quietly, pulling Lan's attention back to her. "Each night, she visits Rand in Tel'aranrhiod, but since I can't be certain she will be occupied for the whole night, I only slept three hours every night for the last weeks."

"Three hours?!" Lan wasn't amused by the information.

Rand yawned loudly, pulled the blanket around himself, and lay down. "Maybe you can sleep a few more hours tonight since Lan is now with us." In the next heartbeat, he was asleep.

The Aes Sedai envied the boy for going to sleep without worrying about getting killed by a Forsaken. If she had Saidar back, she could shield her dreams again.

"Come here." Lan took the waterskin from her, then took her hands to guide her beside him.

"Lan, I can't. I can't sleep." A small wave of nausea returned when her Warder helped her to lie down. He had turned a small blanket into a pillow. "Lan, please. Lanfear-"

"I will watch over you." The uncrowned king of Malkier covered her with two blankets against the cold, then stretched out beside her.

Fatigue pulled at Moiraine, and she felt her eyes closing against her will. Yawning, she snuggled against Lan's warm body like she had always done in the past.

Her Warder placed his arm protectively around her, pulling her even closer at the same time, then pressed his lips against her forehead. "Sleep, Moiraine. I'll wake you should anything unusual happen."

"Lanfear-"Moiraine murmured, barely awake anymore.

"Forget her. You said she visits Rand in his dreams. You're safe. Sleep, my Aes Sedai."

Ultimately, the woman of the Blue Ajah gave up and drifted off to sleep.

"Moiraine."

Groaning, the woman of the Blue Ajah snuggled closer against the warm body beside her. She didn't want to wake up. She felt like she barely had closed her eyes.

"Moiraine." The voice was gentle and full of love. Who was that?

A gentle hand stroked her hair. "It is time. We need to keep going."

Where did they have to go? Why couldn't they stay? She didn't want to leave. Moiraine groaned again when the person beside her moved. She tried to grab that person to keep him from leaving her, but her blanket blocked her way.

The male voice chuckled, then someone brushed a loose lock behind her ear. "It's time, Moiraine." And then he left her and took the warmth with him.

It wasn't truly cold – the blanket kept her warm – yet it had been a comfy additional warmth, and she had felt safe.

Blinking, the Aes Sedai opened her eyes. Where was her Warder? Where were they?

"Good morning."

Another male voice sounded beside her head. Sleepily, the woman of the Blue Ajah lifted her head and recognized Rand. He packed his bedroll, then looked at her. "How did you sleep?"

Moiraine opened her mouth to answer, then realized the sun was already rising, and her eyes widened. "How long did I sleep?!" Her voice sounded sharp, and Rand winced in surprise.

"All night."

Moiraine turned her head to the first voice she had heard that morning, when Lan kneeled beside her. She couldn't have slept all night! It was impossible that the Daughter of the Night stayed with the Dragon Reborn until morning! "All night?! But Lanfear-!"

"You slept peacefully." The uncrowned king of Malkier stroked her hair softly. "Whatever Lanfear was doing tonight, she didn't bother you."

In disbelief, Moiraine searched in Lan's eyes for a lie, but… there was nothing. Nothing had happened tonight. Lan's eyes were as calm as ever.

"I grab something to eat," Rand explained, leaving the Aes Sedai and Warder alone.

Moiraine waited until the Dragon was out of earshot before she whispered, "You stayed."

"You had doubts I would?"

"I…." What should she say? That she had worried he would leave her after everything she had done to him? She had pushed him away, kept him in the dark about her plans, turned distant and cold, and hurt him badly with her words. "You…." He had every right to turn his back on her. She was surprised he had protected her in the Sun Palace and still talked to her. Why wasn't he ignoring her? Didn't he hate her?

Lan squeezed her arm gently. "I won't leave you again. No matter what happens, I stand by your side."

Her throat felt tight, and she could barely swallow. Lan. Her Lan. That wonderful and incredible man stood by her side after everything that happened. She wanted to hug him – wanted to feel his strong arms around her.

"When do we leave?"

Rand's voice broke the moment before Moiraine could give in to her needs. Relieved, she lowered her gaze to shake her longing. She and Lan weren't alone. They had to protect Rand while escaping Barthanes' men.

"As soon as everyone is ready," the Warder explained.

The Aes Sedai noticed her Warder hadn't taken his eyes off her. He looked at her lovingly like he had seen the longing in her eyes and wouldn't mind if she had given in to it. Should she say something?

Fortunately, Lan felt her discomfort and left her side, joining Rand. That way, the woman of the Blue Ajah was able to calm her emotions before she freed herself from the blankets and packed everything so they could continue their ride.

When the sun touched the horizon, the three riders reached a small village. Lan had decided not to push the horses too hard since they hadn't seen any riders all day, and the Warder and Aes Sedai were still sharing a horse.

The uncrowned king of Malkier hesitated to lead the horses to the tavern, but in the end, the weather changed his mind. Dark clouds filled the sky, promising rain within the next hours. So, they rented two rooms for the night.

Moiraine and Lan's room only had one bed, but the Warder looked outside the window while the Aes Sedai cleaned her face and neck with a wet cloth. After that, the Cairhien woman let her eyes wander over the uncrowned king of Malkier.

He had crossed his arms in front of him, leaning against the window, and the muscles in his back were stiff. The man looked like an animal ready to attack his victim. Or like a caged animal that wants to escape.

It pained Moiraine to see Lan like that. He didn't want to be in that tavern. He feared that Barthanes' men could find them there too easily. But the sky had opened its gates, and water poured onto the ground. They wouldn't have been able to sleep in that rain.

Quietly, the woman of the Blue Ajah stepped behind the silent man. He flinched when her hands touched his back, then took a deep breath and relaxed under her touch.

Moiraine took it as a good sign and let her hands wander from his back to his chest, hugging him from behind and pressing her cheek against his back. Light, how much she had missed that!

Lan's body was so familiar to her. She knew every well-trained muscle, every scar on his body, and each of his curves. She felt like it was engraved in her brain – something she could never forget.

Suddenly, the uncrowned king of Malkier took her hands and pulled them off him. A short whimper crossed the Cairhien woman's lips at his doing. Was it possible he couldn't stand the close contact anymore? But last night at the Damodred resident he didn't have any problems holding her in his arms.

And he also hadn't said anything while they had been sharing a horse to escape from Cairhien. Moiraine remembered the feeling of Lan's arm around her waist to steady her at any time. She had felt the tension in his body, but it had also felt so right. It had given her hope that they could restore their relationship from before she had pushed him away.

Sighing, she opened her arms and took a step back. She wouldn't force Lan to…

"Come here."

Surprised, the Aes Sedai stumbled back into her Warder's arms when he pulled her back. Lan didn't want to get away from her! He had simply turned in her arms, so he could wrap his arms around her, tucking her head under his chin.

Moiraine's body melted against Lan's. Light, she wanted to shut out the world and stay in that room forever! Lan's unique smell surrounded her, and she tried to inhale as much as possible. They had been separated for such a long time, and Moiraine felt like she had to catch up on the lost time.

Fortunately, Lan seemed to feel the same. His hands moved soothingly over her back, pulling her even closer like he could swallow her if he only pulled harder.

"So, you tried to kill a Forsaken?"

Moiraine sighed. She should have expected that Lan would want to know about Lanfear. "I had to save Rand. He didn't know who she was. She disguised herself as a simple innkeeper, and made him fall in love with her."

"You stabbed her?"

"And cut her throat. Yet, she healed somehow and came after us. Rand visits her every night in his dreams, and she seems to be fine with it – for now."

Lan nodded when he understood. "And because you didn't know for how long she would be distracted by the boy, you minimized your sleep to three hours."

"I didn't know what else to do. Without Saidar…." The woman of the Blue Ajah swallowed. She didn't want to think about the loss of her powers. It still pained her. "You went to Siuan?"

Lan chuckled, and she felt the vibration in his chest. "Who else could I trust to deal with my stubborn Aes Sedai?"

"Was it her idea to take you with her to the wedding?"

"We both agreed that the Amyrlin needed someone to protect her, and she couldn't bring ten Aes Sedai and their Warders for her safety. So, she took me with her, and it worked. I heard the people whispering – believing I'm Siuan's Warder."

Angrily, Moiraine growled. Lan was HER Warder! She loved Siuan, but she would never share Lan with her! How could the Amyrlin make people believe that Lan was her Warder?!

"Breathe, Moiraine. It's what the guests believed." The Aes Sedai heard the amusement in her Warder's voice. He liked Moiraine's reaction to his words. Insufferable man!

"Did Siuan correct them?" Blood and ashes! She couldn't keep the ice out of her voice.

"You know the citizens of Cairhien. Do you really think they would have believed her?"

Moiraine gnashed her teeth. She knew Daes Dae'mar very well, and the citizens of Cairhien played it to perfection. Yet, she didn't like the imagination of Lan being presented as Siuan's Warder. The man belonged to her and her alone!

Lan pressed a kiss on top of her hair. "I don't think I've ever seen you being jealous."

"I'm not-!"

The First Oath tied a string around Moiraine's throat, keeping her from finishing her sentence. The Aes Sedai gasped, but no more words crossed her lips.

"Forgive me, I didn't understand that. Could you repeat it?"

Oh, Lan was enjoying seeing her struggle. Moiraine wanted to strangle him. "I… Siuan should at least have tried to tell them the truth!"

"So, it's her fault then?"

"Of course it is!" Moiraine hissed. "She is the Amyrlin Seat! She shouldn't let the people assume such a thing!"

"I also didn't try to correct the guests' assumptions. Does this mean it is also my fault?"

Moiraine froze. Lan hadn't tried to correct them either? He had wanted them to believe he was Siuan's Warder? Shocked, the Aes Sedai stepped out of Lan's embrace, getting some distance between them. There was still a hint of a smile lying on Lan's lips.

But the woman of the Blue Ajah couldn't smile. Lan had crushed her heart with his words, and she felt suddenly cold. Why hadn't he corrected the people?

"Do you want to be Siuan's Warder?"

The man before her snorted amused, and it was like a stab to the heart. Lan. Her Lan. How could she have been so blind? Was that because she had hurt him in Tifan's Well? – Because she had pushed him away? Had she pushed him into Siuan's arms? But he was supposed to become Nynaeve's Warder! – That had been her plan for the last couple of months!

When the Malkieri shook his head in amusement, the Cairhien woman had to fight against upcoming tears. Had he played with her? Had he saved her because Siuan ordered him to watch her? Had she ordered him to be nice to her?

"Answer me." Her voice was barely audible, but Lan had heard her. He lifted his eyes, yet no word crossed his lips. He had never been much of a talker, but now his silence made Moiraine angry. "Answer me!"

The smile vanished, and he closed the distance between them. When Moiraine stumbled backward, his hands reached up and cupped her face, pulling her back to him.

"In all my life, I've only wanted one woman as my Aes Sedai. And that one had to chase after my stubborn younger self because he had left her behind in Chachin, believing he already knew what his life would look like."

A tear rolled over Moiraine's cheeks. Her! Lan still wanted her! – Not Siuan!

Smiling, the uncrowned king of Malkier leaned his forehead against hers. "I don't want another Aes Sedai – not Siuan or anyone else. I never have and never will have the longing to bond another woman." Lan pressed his lips on her cheek, then pulled her back in his arms while stroking her hair with one hand. "I already have an amazing and wonderful Aes Sedai."

More tears escaped Moiraine's eyes, but no word crossed her lips. Yet, her entire body started to tremble from the suppressed sobs. What had she done?

"I simply wish she would stop pushing me away, so I can help her. We may not have our bond anymore, but I'm still here." Moiraine clutched Lan's tunic. Her legs were shaking. Lan's arm was the only thing…. "Let me share the burden."

It was too much. Her legs gave in, but her Warder reacted quickly and pulled her in his arms. Carefully, Lan carried the crying woman to the bed, where he could wrap her in a warm blanket and hold her until her tears would dry.

The next chapter will be uploaded on Sunday.

I would appreciate it if you could take a moment to leave a review.