Chapter 11 ~ A Very Foolish Girl
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. (James 4:8-10, ESV)
19 When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. (Proverbs 10: 19, ESV)
1 The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. 3 By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve them. (Proverbs 14:1 3, ESV)
The very morning after the ball Mr. Collins chose as the day for formally resolving the business of proposing marriage. He could remain only four days more and the idea of spending those days in celebration of his future felicity encouraged him to seize the earliest opportunity of speaking with his chosen bride. With every expectation of success – he felt no reason to disguise his purpose or arrange an interview with the lady herself – he relished the flutter of expectation he would raise not only in his chosen bride but also in her mother and sisters. He announced his request after breakfast:
"May I hope, madam, for your interest with your fair daughter Mary, when I solicit for the honour of a private audience with her in the course of this morning?"
He smiled complacently and enjoyed Mrs. Bennet's excited fidgetings, the concerned expressions of the elder sisters escaped his notice for he was distracted by the giggles of the younger girls. It was his lady love's blush of surprise that he observed last of all and he gave her a confident smile when her mother quickly responded,
"Oh dear! Yes -- certainly. I am sure she will be very happy -- She can have no objection. Come, girls, I want you upstairs."
Gathering her daughters as a goose collects her goslings they were noisily bustled away. Mary swallowed her apprehension for the moment of decision had now arrived and indeed as soon as they were gone Mr. Collins began his speech.
"Believe me, my dear Miss Mary, that your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse, however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble; my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life."
For the sake of Mary's dignity the fact that no fewer than three of her sisters were considered before her is to be entirely forgotten.
"But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, perhaps it will be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying -- and, moreover, for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did.'
With solemn composure did he enumerate and expound on his reasons. Mary was forced to admire how thoroughly he had considered each point, but unfortunately for her cousin the face and form of another gentleman kept intruding on her thoughts.
His conclusion was generosity itself and Mary knew she must at last choose between her head and her heart when he said,
"This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem. And now nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection."
It did not occur to his object that he had used phrases copied out from the little book he acquired at a library in London. It had advised him to:
"Assure your chosen lady with animated language that your affections are deep and sincere. Though to a gentleman it will undoubtedly bring to mind a brawl, describing your feelings as violent will stimulate in the elegant young female a hint of passion that will still be acceptable to express in her mother's parlour. Be not timid when selecting the most persuasive vocabulary to induce a modest lady to accept your suit."
"To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it could not be complied with. On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent; and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married."
He approached and leaned forward as if he would – Mary crossed the room in a near panic for she was still wavering in her decision and primly said,
"You forget that I have made no answer. I am very sensible of the honour of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to make a commitment so soon. I must ask for a little time to contemplate this very important decision."
"I am not now to learn," replied Mr. Collins, recalling another section in his valuable little book, "that it is usual with young ladies to lead a man whom they secretly mean to accept, on a little dance when he first applies for their favour. I have the highest regard for your modesty, economy, and other amiable qualifications. You need not think you must prove your worth by any delay. Nevertheless, I am by no means discouraged by your request, and shall hope to meet you at the altar ere long. When I do I will have the honour of introducing you afterwards to my noble patroness, Lady Catherine."
This mention did raise his chances against the handsome and serious curate. Mr. Collins had a better informed mind and would require less guidance than Mr. Wickham. He was better placed to take a wife but he had not Wickham's handsome features or his commanding presence. She could not yet make her choice.
Having expected his previous speech to have a more immediate result this half minute of silence was too much and though he was too generous to say so he was indeed a little put out. One must be forebearing with the whims of ladies; it was something he would need to accustom himself to as a husband. That thought returned him to good cheer as he prompted,
"When I do myself the honour of speaking to you next on this subject, I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer than you have now given me; though I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present – because I know it to be the established custom of your sex to keep suitors in suspense and you may have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character – I am persuaded that, when sanctioned by the express authority of both your excellent parents, my proposals will not fail of being acceptable."
A moment of silence and she almost accepted him but said instead, "I thank you for your forbearance."
"You are uniformly charming!" cried he, with an air of awkward gallantry. This awkwardness made her waver again in favour of the penniless curate who was never awkward.
Mrs. Bennet, having dawdled about in the vestibule to watch for the end of the conference, no sooner saw Mary open the door and with quick step pass her towards the staircase, than she entered the breakfast-room, and congratulated both him and herself in warm terms on the happy prospect of their nearer connexion. Mr. Collins received and returned these felicitations with equal pleasure, and then proceeded to relate the particulars of their interview, with the result of which he trusted he had every reason to be satisfied, since his cousin's hesitation would naturally flow from her bashful modesty and the genuine delicacy of her character.
This information, however, startled Mrs. Bennet; she would have been glad to be equally satisfied that her daughter had meant to encourage him, but she dared not to believe it, and could not help saying so.
"But depend upon it, Mr. Collins," she added, "that Mary shall be brought to reason. I will speak to her about it myself directly. She is a very foolish girl, and does not know her own interest; but I will make her know it."
"Pardon me for interrupting you, madam," cried Mr. Collins who was startled by this pronouncement. There were countless proverbs warning against a such a woman. "but if she is really foolish, I know not whether she would altogether be a very desirable wife to a man in my situation, she could not contribute adequately to my felicity."
"Sir, you quite misunderstand me," said Mrs. Bennet, alarmed. "Mary is only a little silly in such matters as these. In everything else she is as wise and clever a girl as ever lived. Did you know she is often described as the most accomplished girl in the neighbourhood? She will make an excellent wife. Lady Catherine will be delighted with her I am sure of it. Now I will go directly to Mr. Bennet, and he shall very soon settle it with her, I am sure."
Had she been more composed and allowed Mary a little time to reflect she may have saved herself this difficulty for Mr. Collins, though disappointed, had been satisfied. Her desire for this match, however, exceeded his own and her anxiety could suffer no delay. Allowing him no time to reply, she hurried instantly to her husband, calling out as she entered the library,
"Oh! Mr. Bennet, you are wanted immediately; we are all a little confused. You must come and make Mary take Mr. Collins, for she will give him no answer, and if you do not make haste he will change his mind and not have her."
Mr. Bennet raised his eyes from his book as she entered, and fixed them on her face with a calm unconcern which was not in the least altered by her communication. His eyebrow raised when he saw the disgruntled mien of the absurd clergyman standing behind his wife like a boy being defended by his mama. This at last forced Mr. Bennet to cover his mouth with his hand to prevent his smile and a moment later he was able to calmly ask,
"And what am I to do on the occasion?"
"Speak to them about it yourself."
Mr. Bennet rang the bell, and Miss Mary was summoned to the library. Mr. Collins looked vindicated.
"Come here, child," said her father as she slipped between her suitor and the doorway. "I have sent for you on an affair of importance. I understand that Mr. Collins has made you an offer of marriage. Is it true?" Mary replied that it was. "Very well -- and this offer of marriage you have refused?"
"I have not, sir. I only asked for some time to consider it."
Knowing that it seemed unreasonable to cause a fuss, Mr. Collins defended himself, "I made no objection believing she was too modest to accept on my first application. Her mother then informed me that she was foolish. I naturally grew concerned. A sensible girl would recognize that the establishment I can offer is highly desirable. My situation in life, my connections with the family of De Bourgh, and my relationship to your own, are circumstances highly in my favour. A girl worthy of that position could not fail to understand that, in spite of her attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made to her. Her portion is unhappily so small, that it will in all likelihood undo the effects of her accomplishments and other qualifications. With every confidence in her cleverness I had concluded that she was not seriously uncertain, but attributed it to a wish of increasing my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females. However if indeed she is so unwise as to not recognise the benefits of the match, it might be best if this morning's meeting was entirely forgotten."
Mary sniffled and her father demanded a private interview with her. Mrs. Bennet took Mr. Collins arm and set about giving him every reassurance she could. He heard very little of it, for he was elaborating on his concerns and so they continued all the way down the stairs. They were perfectly satisfied being both so full of words that neither could tell that the other heard none of them at all. When the door had closed and the sound of their chatter faded Mr. Bennet addressed his daughter,
"Very well. We will come to the point. Now Mary it is better if we can have this business done. Let us talk over your concerns. Could you be happy with such a husband?"
She nodded, "There is a solidity in his reflections which I must admire, and though his understanding does by no means equal my own, I do think that if encouraged to read and improve himself by my good example, he might become a very clever and very agreeable companion."
"Do you indeed? Well, I will not argue with you. Is there some other objection? Why did you not say yes?"
"I have had my heart set on another."
Surprise was his first response. He had not seen the longing looks she directed at Mr. Wickham, in truth although she never thought to conceal her admiration not even Mrs. Long had discovered it for no one ever noticed Mary.
"Has this gentleman shown you any attention?"
"He has not and I honour him for it. He knows me to be out of his reach."
Fearing a stablehand or tenant farmer Mr. Bennet furrowed his brow. "Has this man the means to support a wife?"
"Not just at present, but he is a gentleman."
He now imagined Albert Lucas who was just seventeen, spotted, awkward and learning law in Mr. Phillips office. "Are you satisfied that if you wait for him one of you will not have a change of heart before he has the means to support you."
She began to cry and her father held and patted her. "It is only that he is the most handsome - -" she had not meant to say that aloud but resisting a smile her father crossed young Mr. Lucas off his mental list before Mary corrected herself "I meant to say upright. Well, aside from his taste in books, but I am convinced that with the right sort of wife, one who can assist him in those areas, he might come around."
"I see. Well Mary with so much in this other fellow's favour why do you not reject Mr. Collins outright?"
"Because, aside from their personal attractions, Mr. Collins is really the better man. But Mr. Wickham might be the man who needs my guidance the most." Here there were fresh tears to be nobly patted away and her father was grateful that he still held her so she did not witness his face contort as he tried, with some difficulty, not to laugh at her outright.
It took Mr. Bennet a moment to compose himself enough to allow him to speak. "Mary if you truly believe Mr. Collins is the better man then he deserves you and you should tell him so before he talks himself out of his offer."