Just a silly little two-shot to get my mind out of writer's block and continue writing Love's Labour's Lost.
I considered this an exercise.
Stupid, foolish girl. How could she think he could ever love her? As Bella watched the love of her immortal life go around the party with his fiancée, she thought she had been strong. A century with Carlisle alone and she couldn't make him to fall in love with her. The wine glass in her hand had long shattered into fragments.
Edward watched her in concern as he played the piano forte. Always curious. Always wondering what's going on inside her head. It had been Edward's idea to turn Esme — like a favor for Carlisle who was an open book to him. A mate.
What's going to happen to the coven if you leave?
I'm merely the coven's shield, not the head. The coven will do just fine.
Where will you go?
I always dreamt of traveling by myself.
Carlisle will be sad.
Carlisle will most definitely not. He has Esme now.
You've been with him longer. He will miss you.
He will live. It's time that I find myself. I've depended on him for so long I forgot I had my own aspirations. Look at him, Edward. See how wide his smile is. How his eyes twinkle.
He loves you, you know.
Not in the way I want him to.
Bella erected her mental shield again to shut off the telepathic communication. Edward did not falter in his playing but he gazed at her sadly, feeling guilty for her pain. She headed outside the gardens, sitting in one of the benches to look at the mauve-colored sky.
How badly she wanted to leave. How much she wanted to know what Carlisle's reaction would be upon her departure. Her undead heart skipped at the thought of him being sad. But she knew he'd easily move on.
She was his longest companion. Also, his dearest but she was not his mate.
Carlisle met her in the winter of 1815 when he treated her sprained wrist. Dr. Cullen was the only local physician in the town of Perugia in central Italy. She could remember her freezing, sodden skirts arriving in his clinic's threshold, his warm and welcoming smile as he ushered her inside by the fire.
Isabella Swan, who was unattached at the age of nineteen, with no great prospects for marriage, found friendship with the young local doctor. It was practically scandalous. But she didn't mind. Carlisle Cullen understood her more than anyone she knew.
A fire in the Swan estate was the catalyst of her immortal life. She survived the tragedy but only barely, having lost her parents and her home. Bella spent three days in the town's infirmary before she died.
She was reborn as a vampire. Carlisle had whisked her away from Perugia to Castiglione del Lago where her transformation took place.
Carlisle had always pined for companionship. To ebb the loneliness in his heart. For decades and decades, it was only the two of them. In the end, after having found Esme, Bella was just as forgettable and inadequate. And she loathed how it reminded her of her human life.
Bella ignored the creak of the bench, the wood turning into sawdust in her grip. Venom stung her eyelids.
A pale hand offering her a mouchoir blocked her vision of red rose bushes.
"I have no need for such." Bella replied, refusing the offer. She blinked back the venom and regarded the male vampire steadily. "You're quite late for the party, Garrett."
A roguish smile curled in the man's lips. It had been more than fifty years since she'd last seen Carlisle's friend. She supposed he was her friend too but they never really got on well very much. Partly because Bella looked down on his preference of his Englishmen diet.
"Am I? Not really. Fashionably late if I do say so myself." Garrett smiled with an air of smugness. "Old habits die hard, I'm afraid."
Bella had to smile at that.
An adventurer, Bella remembered her first impression of him. Dressed in a blue forage cap with black leather visor, a dark blue sack coat, worn wool trousers, and leathers brogans, he arrived in her and Carlisle's cabin in 1865 tattling about his stories about the American Civil War.
"Carlisle will be delighted to see you. And so will Esme. She's the loveliest."
Garrett crossed his arms. "I am sure they would not mind keeping you company. An occasion such as this should not paint such sorrows on your beautiful face, Bella Swan."
Bella stifled a snort. "Carlisle dislikes tardiness, dear friend. He's expecting you."
The man pursed his lips though he gazed at her thoughtfully.
"I have no other-wordly gift but I can sense the sadness in you."
Bella smiled faintly. "Why do you think so?"
He reached for her hand and kissed it. Bella, in the rare times she found herself thanking she wasn't human, was grateful she couldn't blush. Despite his roguish streak and occasional cockiness, Garrett was very much the product of the 1700s upbringing.
A bit different from Carlisle's gentlemanly reticence.
"It's him, is it not?"
"I have not seen you for nearly half a century and you already figured it out. Does my pain speak so plainly?"
Garrett laughed. "I thought Carlisle to be the most intelligent of men." He wiped his eyes of non-existent tears. "I didn't know he could be so oblivious. I could read you a mile away."
Bella huffed and nudged him toward the house.
He stopped laughing and turned to her with a furrowed brow. "He might have heard us. He's looking in this direction."
"You forget I am a shield."
Garrett hummed and turned to her, having finished nodding to Carlisle. He made no move to greet him inside.
Bella didn't want to gaze at Carlisle at the moment. Taking Garrett's arm, they took a turn around the garden.
"It's not so difficult to figure it out." He wryly teased.
"That mere implication offends me." Bella rebuked and Garrett smirked in amusement.
They shared a moment of silence before Garrett frankly said, "You're in love with Carlisle yet you're no martyr. You are thinking of leaving."
She narrowed her eyes at him for having seen through her so easily.
"Temporarily." She corrected, plucking a red rose. "While I sort out my feelings and be independent for once. I built this coven with Carlisle. I could not truly leave it but I cannot stay knowing he is in love and married with another. Maybe in fifty years, I could return and join them but now, I simply cannot endure another second."
"I had thought you and him were Mates." Garrett tilted his head. "It appears I was wrong."
"Very much so."
Thunder clapped. A few seconds later, rain began pouring in. Bella frowned.
"Your dislike of rain remains unchanged."
She laughed breathlessly as the downpour mercilessly drenched her dress and coiffure, though she was still in no hurry to get back. "The downside of immortality is that human quirks will forever femain with us." She looked up at her tall friend. "Well, apologies. Now I made you wet. I can ask Carlisle to lend some of his clothes for you."
"Shall we?"
Letting go of his arm, Bella led him to the back doors where the cellars were. She shivered, not because of the rain, but because of she felt golden eyes staring down at her as she closed the doors.
Carlisle was leaning on one of the large kegs with a towel draped over his arm. His expression was unreadable.
Garrett walked over to Carlisle to congratulate him. Bella watched as his eyes flickered to him briefly, a smile albeit tight, on his face before flickering back to her.
"Thank you, Garrett."
Bella reached for the towel in his arm, putting it over her shoulders.
"You hate rain." Carlisle muttered.
"You are missed at the party." Bella said pointedly.
"Esme is taking care of the guests."
She nodded. She had always been the hostess in their gatherings. Now, it seemed she's already been replaced. Bitter jealousy burned down her throat.
"Really, Carlisle." She huffed in a chastising voice. "You didn't have to wait on us."
"He's simply worried, little swan." Chimed in the smug voice of Garrett, the endearment slipping from his lips with the intention to annoy.
Carlisle shot him an impatient look.
"Well," she smiled. "I must fix myself properly for our guests. Garrett, make yourself at home. If you'll excuse me." She left the room hurriedly, making her way upstairs as she pressed the heels of her hands on her eyes. She slammed the door of her room, ripping off the pins in her hair and taking a sharp intake of breath.
Esme was an angel sent to Carlisle, for sure. She had gone through pain after losing her child and experiencing her husband's abuse. She deserved the world and all the kindness and sweetness given. Bella loved her as a sister. And yet the anger bubbling in her chest made her feel ashamed.
Esme and Carlisle were like fitted pieces of a puzzle. He was drawn to her when they had first met and when Edward urged him to turn her, he could not turn away.
Bella looked at her reflection in the mirror, watching the venom pool in her eyes.
She could not last another minute in this house. Carlisle may care for her but it wasn't the same when it had been the two of them. Bella felt suffocated. She abruptly searched for a bag and stuffed a few of her belongings in it. Her mind raced.
She was leaving. She could go to one of their properties in Europe but that would be too cumbersome. Carlisle would know somehow.
She swiftly changed her wet dress and raked a hand through her wavy, mahogany hair. She would miss her coven, most especially Carlisle who'd been with her the longest. Bella needed some time for herself to realize some things without the influence and guidance of Carlisle.
She would say goodbye but she didn't want to ruin the party.
"In a hurry?" Garrett asked, leaning on a tree branch. She stopped and looked up to glower at him. Bella, with a moment of hesitation, joined his perch on the tree overlooking the Cullen home.
"Carlisle was short with me." He lazily told her. "He thought I was coquettish with you."
Bella shook her head. "It matters little. I've already decided to leave."
"He'll be miserable."
"Edward said that too." She smiled weakly. "It would be naturally so. I've been with him for a long time. A friend departing will always be a cause for sorrows."
Garrett offered his hand. "So you've decided. May I come with you?"
Bella looked at her friend sheepishly. "I don't even know where I'll go."
"I'll follow you wherever you go."
Bella accepted his hand. "Very well."
From one of the windows, Edward passed. He caught her from afar and he stood still to stare at her. Bella waved.
"Fare thee well, Ed."
His golden eyes were sad and accepting. Just as she and Garrett turned to jump away, she caught Carlisle behind Edward. His eyes were solemn, almost pained as he watched her go.
Bella gave him a quick, soft smile, conveying her gratefulness and love, and left.
Planning to add a second chapter for a conclusion. I just felt inspired after remembering Lee Pace was in Twilight as Garrett. He was incredibly charming.
So I made him and Bella fwens 333