Letting Go

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.

Comfort

As the cab pulled up outside his house Charlie was surprised to see Jacob waiting outside. He was pacing up and down agitatedly, his fists clenching and unclenching as he moved.

Charlie wondered how long he had been waiting. As usual Jacob was wearing nothing but a pair of cut off sweats, leaving his upper torso exposed to the frigid air. He was so tall, and muscled up like no ordinary teen his age should be. His friends were the same. Charlie had glimpsed him hanging around with Sam Uley and his followers. Bella had seemed adamant at one time that Sam was some kind of gang leader and had recruited the other teens to be part of his crew. Charlie had never really believed it. He had the upmost respect for Sam Uley ever since he had found Bella and brought her home after she got lost in the woods. Bella had quickly retracted her statement anyway, citing that she was mistaken, and that things were all good in La Push.

As soon as Jacob saw the cab sweep up at the end of the drive, he stopped pacing. In a just a few long strides he was by the car, already pulling the door open before it had even stopped moving.

"Jake, calm down!" Charlie called out to him.

The warning fell on deaf ears as Jacob leaned into the cab and eased Bella out of the back seat. She made not the slightest protest, just simply curled into him, as if she always knew he would be right there, waiting for her. She hid her face against Jacob's broad shoulder as he walked toward the house still ignoring Charlie's calls.

The cab driver looked with interest between Charlie and the young man with the body of a seasoned weightlifter, who had just snatched the young girl out of the back of the car.

"Everything alright?" He dared to ask again.

Charlie gave him a dark look before climbing out and slamming the door. "Mind your own damn business!" He snapped.

The cab driver just shook his head in disbelief. He had seen many odd sights over the years, but this trumped most of those. He would love to have known the back story of what was going on. It was a strange business. Still, he had been handsomely paid, so there was no need to hang about. With one last curious glance in Charlie's direction, he reversed his cab out of the drive and onto the road.

Bella heard nothing. Saw nothing. She sagged in Jacob's arms as he carried her inside the house. Charlie's voice was background noise, it sounded like he was speaking through a long tunnel, Bella couldn't make out the individual words. Her forehead was dewed with sweat. Jacob's skin was smoking hot. Her stomach rolled like she had the stomach flu again. Exactly like she had the flu.

As soon as Jacob placed her down onto the sofa in the living room, Bella turned away from him quickly, and leaned over one of the arms. Her body convulsed with useless heaves, her empty stomach contracting with horrified nausea, though there was nothing in it to expel.

Edward was dead. Gone forever. And it was all her fault. She had killed him with her clumsiness. She was nothing but a useless, frail human after all.

Bella's head spun sickeningly as she began to slide off the sofa to the floor.

Jacob's hands caught her shoulders-kept her from falling. She could feel his hot breath on her cheek. "Bella! Its me. Its Jacob. Just breathe, honey. Breathe!"

After everything she had done to him, he was still trying to hold her together.

"Edward." Bella gasped; her voice hoarse with disuse. She tried to catch her breath around the nauseous spasms gripping her stomach.

In her head she heard Edward's soft velvet voice crooning her lullaby. She moaned, sinking further into despair.

Jacob pulled Bella up from her slump. He draped her awkwardly across his lap, laying her limp head against his shoulder. He struggled to balance her, to keep her from sagging over, one way or the other. He brushed the sweaty hair back from her face.

"What?" Jacob asked. "Can you hear me, Bella?"

"I'm stupid…. clumsy." Bella moaned into his shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" Jacob was confused, his voice getting a little frantic now. "Do you need some water? A doctor? Tell me what you need and I'll get it for you."

"Edward." Bella whimpered, tears pooling in her eyes.

"That's one thing I won't do." Jacob's tone turned scathing. "You might not think so now, but you're better off without him. He abandoned you out there, Bella. Him and his so-called sister."

Bella trembled against him. "They didn't. You don't understand."

Jacob pulled her face around, holding it steady in his big hand. He stared intently into her eyes. He remained completely oblivious to Charlie, who was standing in the hallway, eavesdropping on their conversation, hoping he might learn more about what had happened to his daughter in Italy.

"This is important, Bella." Jacob said in a low voice. "What happened out there? You say they didn't abandon you. Then where are they?"

"Gone." Bella whispered tearfully. "I was too late. I'm so stupid, so slow, so clumsy – "

Jacob's eyes flipped wide at the first part of her sentence, then narrowed into slits when she started berating herself again. "You're not any of those things, Bella. Did he say those things to you?"

"No." Bella sniffled between words. "I killed him, Jacob. I killed them both."

Jacob held her so tightly that there was no need for her to clutch at the gaping hole that had reformed in her chest-somehow, due to his magic touch, he kept her in one piece.

Jacob was distracted by this revelation, his face torn between several different expressions. "You're delirious, Bella. How is that even possible?"

"I'm nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special." Bella explained faintly.

Something like a growl-not a real growl- a human approximation- rumbled in Jacob's chest under her ear. "If that idiot bloodsucker is honestly stupid enough – "

"Please." Bella moaned. "Please. Don't."

Jacob hesitated, then nodded once.

"This is important, Bella." He said again. "You may not want to talk about it, but it has to be done. You must face up to what happened, or shrivel up into a ball and die. And I refuse to let that happen. So, tell me, what went down in Italy?"

Jacob took one of her hands in his warm one, once again staring intently into her eyes. Bella stared back. That's all they ever needed to connect, just eyes, no words.

"I was too late, Jacob." She confessed through choking sobs. "I tried to reach Edward before he…he…did what he did." She couldn't say the word suicide, it sounded so brutal, so final." She felt her throat closing as a single tear rolled down her cheek. "I ran and ran. I ran as fast as I could. I wasn't fast enough." Her voice drifted, along with her gaze, as if she was looking inward. "The clock was close to chiming midday in the town's plaza. There were just so many people. I had to battle my way through. I was nearly there. So close. There was a gap in the crowd. It felt like fortune was finally smiling down on me, finally giving me hope. I thought maybe I could reach him. If I just pushed myself a little harder, a little further. I didn't see the fountain until it was too late. I was so focused on the clock tower. And then…. then…" She sighed heavily, letting her head droop.

"And then?" Jacob prompted her gently.

"And then I tripped." Bella whispered. "I tripped and hit my head. Stupid. Clumsy me."

Falling asleep in Jacob's arms was Bella's safe place, her cocoon. In her dreams she heard the sound of children's feet, of their laughter, and impromptu song lyrics. She was a kid again, reliving those perfect moments of childhood- visiting Charlie in Forks, and making mud pies with Jacob in La Push. Lost in such a peaceful dream, color infused Bella's pale skin, her heart rate steadied, her breathing slowed, and she finally felt peace.

Jacob knew the exact moment she fell asleep. Her breathing became softer, the pensive look on her face melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. Her body squirmed just a little as one by one her muscles relaxed. Feeling reassured that it was safe to leave her for a while, Jacob eased her onto the sofa, propping her head on some cushions, and carefully rearranging her body so she was in a more comfortable position. Then he turned, swift and fleet as a deer, and crept out of the living room where he discovered that Charlie had been watching the whole time.

"She wouldn't tell me anything." Charlie said before Jacob had a chance to speak. "But she opened up to you right away."

"I'll look after her, Charlie. I promise." Jacob assured him.

"You know more than you're letting on, don't you?" Charlie guessed, scrutinizing him carefully.

Not much more." Jacob hated lying to Charlie, a man he respected and thought of as a second father. But what choice did he have? He was just grateful that Bella was back safely and had not been harmed. He had fixed her once; he knew that he could do so again.

Charlie looked dubious at this admission. "Look, Jake, you've been a good friend to my daughter and I appreciate all that you have done. However, I'm letting you know now that I am going to be taking Bells back to her mom in Jacksonville tomorrow. I've taken all my annual leave and I'll be staying up there with her, too."

Jacob froze, struggling with his tenuous grip on his self-control. "No, Charlie, Bella needs to stay here. You can't take her away. I promise I can help her." He argued.

"My daughter needs professional help, son. You're only sixteen, Jake, and have enough on your plate looking after your old man. I'm sorry but my mind is made up. This is something I should have done the first time that Bella had a breakdown. I won't make the same mistake twice." Charlie replied adamantly, his tone brooking no argument.

A/N-thanks for reading!