Bella
The drive to the diner was silent. I had ripped out the radio that Emmett had installed in my truck so, there wasn't even any music to help cover the uncomfortable feeling. However, dinner with Jake and Charlie was amazing. Jake finally lightened up, Charlie joked with Jake as to where he was putting all the food, and I just enjoyed a free night with my two favorite people. A night where he didn't enter my mind one time.
Sitting at the table watching what was unfolding around me, I smiled. This is how things were supposed to be. Comfortable. Familiar. I watched as Jacob laughed and joked with Charlie all while sending me small smiles. Seemingly gone was the sadness I had seen in his eyes earlier. Replacing it was comfort and content. I knew in that moment, given enough time with this, I would be ok.
All too soon, 7:30 rolled around and we had to leave to meet up with everyone for the movie. However, once we got there; Jessica, Angela, and Eric had all cancelled leaving Jake, Mike and me.
Halfway through the movie, Mike got sick, saying he must have caught what was going around, so we had to leave early. But that wasn't the important part.
Once we said good night to Mike, we decided to walk around a little bit. At some point, Jake slipped his hand into mine and for some reason, I didn't yank my hand away. It felt nice to just walk along, holding hands, talking. It was comfortable. His hand felt warm in mine and I leaned into that warmth. For months the hand that I had held had been cold and hard as stone.
But holding hands with Jake was different. Not just because of the warmth and gentleness there, but also because Edward and I had never been so at ease with each other. Edward had always been on edge. Always stiff. Always protecting. Protecting me from himself. With Jake, there was none of that.
When we finally made it back to my truck, Jake opened my door. But instead of immediately closing it once I was in, he stayed there. Looking at me like he wanted to ask me something.
"Everything ok, Jake," I asked quietly, not wanting to break the atmosphere.
"Yeah. I just..." and with that, he leaned close to my face, "You look beautiful tonight Bells." He leaned closer almost asking permission with his slowness.
I placed my hand on his chest, "Jake... I'm sorry, I can't." Immediately, Jacob dropped his head. I put my hand against his face to pull his eyes up to mine, "Jake, I can't. Not yet."
"It's been months."
"I know... I'm just not ready." Suddenly, he stood up straight, backed up and shut my door. Quickly walking around to the driver side door, he got in and slammed the door behind him. The engine roared to life and he quickly slammed the truck into gear and pulled out of the spot heading for home.
The uncomfortable, sad silence was back.