A/N: My apologies for the two-week delay. I took on a difficult writing challenge that already seems to have improved my ability to control which stories I work on when, which should help avoid last minute scrambling, aka the number one reason why I have to delay a chapter. This challenge also forced me to write a story in which many details were not explained and plot threads were left dangling, simply because they weren't important. If I can apply that level of focus to my other stories that would REALLY help. I now understand what those reviewers meant, long ago, who asked when we would be getting back to canon. It's true that much of this story's plot is non-canonical, but that part is unfocused, full of a bunch of stuff that came to mind which a lot of readers probbly don't care about. Canon focuses me; chapters based on a canon episode are significantly zippier and more fun. I'm sorry for that. Hopefully, now that the most intensely psychological part has passed and I have completed this writing challenge, it'll get better.
Speaking of!
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The full moon hung overhead.
Katara and Zuko returned from the ravine to a silent city. Anybody who saw them scurried away. Zuko groaned. "I figured out what's wrong. They're getting too sure of who I am. I don't want to have a reputation to live up to. I just want to be me."
"Then just be yourself," Katara told him. "The people here like you. They won't punish you for defying them. They'll adjust."
Zuko grunted. His mind was full of scary, scary questions about his family and about his country. He had a lot to think about.
Aang's waterbending training was going very well. He was starting to feel a sense of mastery. It wouldn't be long before he had to leave the North Pole and seek out an earthbending master. When that time came, what was he going to do about Zuko? He had a lot to think about.
Sokka did very well in one on one fights, but only so-so in formation. His ability to do the craziest, most unexpected things helped him when he was alone and hurt him when he had to consider others. Figuring out how to adjust himself to be what other people needed him to be was hard. But he would do it! Even if he didn't agree… He had a lot to think about.
Iroh fielded fewer and fewer questions. That wasn't his role anymore. He wasn't the wisest person around. There was much left for him to learn. He had a lot to think about.
Katara couldn't and wouldn't deny her inner voice, even if it took her away from her family. But she did wonder how to break the news. She understood well why Zuko couldn't stand to make a hard decision before the last possible moment. When she thought of her father's face as she tried to tell him she would be leaving home again, every part of her down to her fingernails wanted to run away. But that wasn't the right way to do it. What was? She had a lot to think about.
They all did their thinking, sometimes together, usually alone, over the next several days. Iroh's prediction came true; it felt less and less strange for Zuko to wake up without a sense of dread about the day ahead. Katara wondered about Aunt Wu's other prediction. She never did get around to correcting anyone about her necklace, even as more and more people shot her knowing looks and accorded her the same respect as they did Zuko. Aang saw this and asked her what was going on. She told him. He mumbled some kind of neutral reply, but internally was frozen in horror. His anger came roaring back. He tried to apply Roku's advice to figure out what it was really telling him. This involved taking another spiritual retreat, this time with Momo.
Aang lay sprawled on his back. Appa dozed nearby, and Momo sat next to Aang's head looking down at him. "I think I know the answer," Aang admitted. "But I can't believe it. I can't! When he asked for my help, I had a choice. I could leave him with the ice, like he would've done for me. Or I could listen to my teachers and try to help. If I'd left him there, she would be mine. But since I tried to help, she's gotten all cozy with him and she's probably going to marry him! I can have the girl I love or a brother, but not both. And I already made that choice. It's too late." He rolled over and punched the ice, making the glacier creak. Appa opened his eyes and nickered. "No! It can't be too late. I love her! I've known her for longer than Zuko has, and I never hurt her or attacked her. Doesn't that mean anything?"
Momo chattered. He looked away, distracted by a stray snowflake. It was beginning to flurry.
Aang curled up and buried his face in his knees. "I don't know what to do."
.
The full moon passed. Zuko climbed on the water dragon's back and made a wave underneath them. Using the wave to launch, they took off. He held onto the ice reins tightly and focused harder than he had ever focused before. Visualizing fire moving in a straight line on a flat two-dimensional surface was nothing compared to guiding water along a twisting three-dimensional route through the sky. Despite the use of snow to cushion every impact, Zuko had the bruises to prove it.
He was exhausted when they landed in some random place on the glacier. He lay sprawled on his back and let his mind do nothing. The water dragon waited nearby. It did not start playing to pass the time. It hadn't done that for several days. Zuko hadn't asked why.
He did so now. "Why are you acting weird?"
It flared its gills once and otherwise did not move. He interpreted that as, I have my reasons.
"I'm officially on your side now. Doesn't that give me the right to know what you're thinking? I thought we were friends again."
The water spirit looked down at him and spread its gills while curling its barbels. That was a look of affection. It gestured out in the direction of the sea. Something approaches.
Zuko sat up. "What?"
The dragon pointed with its head in the direction of the city. It's time.
.
The two of them stood at the head of an enormous cliff. Cut into the cliff was a zigzagging path leading all the way to the bottom, where a tropical paradise awaited. Perhaps it wasn't exactly tropical, but compared to the frozen glacier all around it, it certainly seemed so. Zuko needed no encouragement to descend the path, the water spirit trotting along behind him. His pace increased until he was nearly running. What could have made this?
In the center of the oasis was an important-looking gate, and in front of that gate was a pool of water. Zuko stood under the gate and looked into the water. He saw two fish. But they weren't normal fish; they circled each other in a perfectly even and harmonious way, and their colors complemented each other exactly. "Are they spirits?" Zuko asked.
The dragon next to him nodded. It leaned forward and dipped its snout into the water. The fish broke their circling; they swam over to its snout and began to circle that. "They're your children," Zuko murmured. Their family isn't broken like mine.
The water dragon lifted its snout out of the pool. The fish continued to circle in that same location. It looked at Zuko. He looked up at it.
It touched its snout to the top of his head.
His throat closed. He closed his eyes, reached up and held its snout back. They remained that way for a time. Then they separated. Zuko looked down at his spirit siblings. "What are their names?" The water spirit pointed into the sky and turned into a wave of water that crashed against the rock wall. "Moon and Ocean? Huh. Why are they here and not in the spirit world?"
The water spirit shrugged its fins. I have no idea, but they're happy.
"...Well, if this is what everyone here thinks of when they think of water spirits, I can see why they're confused. It explains a lot. Thanks for bringing me here."
He wondered whether to go back to the glacier or into the city. I've had enough training for one day. He crossed a bridge and followed a rocky ledge to a circular door, opened it and stepped through. Only then did he remember the reason why the dragon had brought him to the oasis. "Wait. What did you mean? What's coming?"
The water spirit poured through the door and looked up. He followed its gaze. Black snow was falling.
.
Aang was basking in Master Pakku's praise, allowing it to wash away his heartbreak, when the black snow fell. Katara knew what it meant. "The Fire Nation is attacking!" she called. "Master Pakku, what do we do?"
"The king will call all of the warriors and waterbenders into the palace," he told her. "Everyone, follow me!"
The waterbending class was the first group of people to gather in the audience chamber. The king had already been alerted; messengers darted to and fro. Someone beat a loud drum that could be heard throughout the city. Soon, people began to stream into the chamber. Aang, Katara and Momo found somewhere out of the way to wait. They saw Princess Yue run past. Sokka met them shortly after. He gave Katara a grave look. "Free time's over," he told her. "It's time for me to make the decisions."
Katara nodded. "I'm glad you're here, Sokka. We need a warrior."
Iroh found his way to them. "Have you seen my nephew?"
"No," Katara said.
Iroh looked around. "Even after everything, I can't be sure which side he'll take. No; especially after everything. Keep an eye out."
Sokka growled. "Oh, we will."
Just then, Zuko came in. He was one of the last. He made his way to them. "As soon as I saw the snow, I flew out to take a look. We have some time. Maybe a day. Excuse me." He elbowed his way past a few people before the crowd realized he was there and split to let him through. He told the king the same thing.
The king gestured for Zuko to sit behind him, on one of the seats normally reserved for an advisor, right next to Master Pakku. The crowd quieted. The king stepped forward and raised his hands, purely for display at this point. Then, in a somber voice, he addressed the crowd. "The day we have feared for so long has arrived. The Fire Nation is on our doorstep. It is with great sadness I call my family here before me, knowing well that some of these faces are about to vanish from our tribe. But they will never vanish from our hearts. Now, as we approach the battle for our existence, I call upon the great spirits. Spirit of the ocean, spirit of the moon, be with us!"
He turned partway. "Spirit talker, call your spirits too. We will need their help."
"I already did," Zuko said, loud enough for the crowd to easily hear. "They will not turn their powers against humans. They will help defend the city, but no more."
"That will be a great and valuable service," the king said, turning back to the crowd. "I need volunteers for a dangerous mission."
Sokka immediately stood. "Count me in!"
Others rose to their feet as well. There was no shortage of volunteers. "Be warned: many of you will not return," said the king. "Come forward to receive my mark if you accept the task." He pulled out an ink bowl that he apparently kept on his belt and began to mark volunteers with three strokes of his fingers.
Aang, Katara and Iroh made their way to the front of the crowd. Aang made eye contact with Zuko. He saw pain, guilt, indecision. Then Zuko looked away. Aang clenched a fist. Time to see, once and for all, who most deserved Katara's heart. "I can't tell what side he's on either. We'd better plan without him."
After the marking ceremony, the day somehow continued on. They had time until the Fire Nation attacked, but what could they do with it? Aang and Katara looked out over a city deserted and silent. Everyone who couldn't fight had been evacuated to the depths of the glacier. The city looked eerie. The moonlight shining off the ice, formerly a sparkling light, now made the ice look like bone. Diseased bone, at that, with all the soot staining it. Aang shuddered.
The king emerged from the palace. "The stillness before battle is unbearable. Such a quiet dread."
"I wasn't there when the Fire Nation attacked my people. I'm gonna make a difference this time." Aang stood up, declaring to all the world that he, the Avatar, was not going to run away this time. He would stand and fight. He would save the Northern Water Tribe.
Then Katara would see who really had her back when it mattered.
.
The day crawled slowly. The night, even more so. There was nothing to do but sleep, but nobody could sleep. Zuko, least of all. He sat on the palace steps, watching over the city. Iroh found him there. "I thought you would have trouble sleeping."
"It's time," Zuko said. "Time for me to make my decision."
"Have you made it?"
"My decision is the same as it's always been. I will protect my family. But who is my family? That's the hard part."
"How will you tell?"
Zuko closed his eyes. "I'll listen to my instincts. Deep down, I know that I know the answer. I just have to let it out."
Iroh's eyes widened. "Those are the last words I would have expected you to say. You've grown a lot in a very short time. I'm proud of you, Nephew."
"Uncle?"
"Yes?"
"I'm only trusting my instincts because I have no choice. You know that, right?"
"I don't know what you mean by that," Iroh answered. "But as long as you trust yourself, no matter why, it's all for the good."
"Isn't trust supposed to be a gift?"
"It's part gift, part necessity of life. You have to trust at least one person in order to survive. Anything more than that is a gift."
Zuko looked out over the city. "I wonder if I'm gifting myself trust or desperately throwing it."
"Whatever gets us through tomorrow."
.
The next morning, they all stood on the wall alongside the marked warriors. Their eyes scanned the horizon. When would the first attack come? When? Under the dark, moonlit sky, they saw it easily. A flash of light, growing brighter and brighter. Katara and Aang gasped. It was coming right at them!
Zuko grunted. The fire on the flaming projectile switched which direction it was coming from, slowing the thing just a little bit before it impacted the wall of water that rose up from the ocean. The massive projectile bumped into the Tribe's wall, shaking the ice, but did not break through. The wall of water tossed it away.
"Nice one, Lee!" Katara said.
Zuko shivered. "As long as it doesn't freeze me to death."
Just as he said that, more fireballs appeared. Zuko raised a second wall of water, higher and thicker than the first, to intercept them. He fell to his knees. Katara ran to him and held him up. "Are you alright?"
"There's a limit…to how powerfully I can spiritbend…without…"
The fireballs smashed into it. Zuko shuddered and moaned. "I can't defend the city. Only they can."
"What are you saying?"
He looked up at her. "Don't worry. I've done this before. Never…in a battle, though."
Before Katara's eyes, his pupils began to glow. Red in his left eye, blue in his right. The glow spread into his whole eyes. "Hi hi hi," he said in a rapidfire voice that didn't sound like his. "He…hello," in a more careful voice. "Do not…fear."
A warrior approached. "How is he? Can he defend the city?"
"I think he's merged with his spirits," Katara said. "We need to look after his body." After speaking, no more movement came from him. He stared wide-eyed at nothing.
Overhead, Aang flew out to face the enemy. Katara had no doubt he would disable the ship. She held Zuko's body close as more fireballs flew toward them in the meantime. Waves of water flicked up from the ocean, snatching fireballs with a precision that Zuko could never have accomplished on his own. All of the fireballs moved slower, their fire burning the wrong way. Zuko's body shuddered. Katara took off her gloves and touched his cheek. It was cold. Not as cold as she had felt it once before, but rapidly approaching that point.
"Everybody!" she called. "Using the water spirit's power chills him. If he overdoes it, he'll freeze to death. We have to defend the city ourselves!"
A few of the warriors ran to spread the word. The rest returned to the palace to report that the enemy had been sighted and await their special orders. Sokka joined the second group. Katara grabbed his hand. "Sokka, whatever this dangerous mission is, promise me you'll be careful."
"I promise," he said, then turned and rejoined the warriors. Katara couldn't take her eyes off of his back. Was this the last time she would see her brother alive, or at all?
Only when he disappeared from sight could she return her attention to Zuko. He had to be near the ocean, but the wall was the least safe place for him to be. She leaned over the inner edge of the wall and raised an ice pillar, pulled Zuko onto it, then lowered it. There. Directly behind the wall wasn't much safer, but it was something.
She clenched her fists, wanting to do something. Just then, she heard a massive explosion overhead. She used her waterbending to raise herself up for a better look. One of the fireballs had exploded midair. The fire spirit's doing, no doubt. She lowered herself back to the ground and sat. She was doing something. As long as Zuko was okay, the city was safe.
She checked his temperature again. His cheek was like an icicle, but his neck was flushed red with heat. She frowned. Such great temperature differentials couldn't be healthy.
.
Zuko, technically speaking, no longer existed. He had no concept of himself in his mind. He felt like a creator of worlds, an indestructible and unstoppable force, Fire and Water combined. The reach of this one particular water spirit was at its greatest, encompassing most of the city and the ocean halfway out to the flagship that Aang had just finished destroying. The fire spirit's range was similar, allowing it to control the fireballs a third of the way through their arc. It was only a little bit of the vast, vast quantities of water he had access to that he was really using. So much more was possible.
But his human mind was buried under the minds of the spirits, and they didn't want to destroy the fleet. That wouldn't be fun. Yiyiyiyi yay fun funfunfun goodhappy YES! the fire spirit thought in its rapidfire way.
This thought was instantly received by Zuko and the water spirit. The three of them were one mind now. Danger, the water spirit thought very distinctly, to make sure Zuko heard it. Little One. It filled their mind with visions of his body frozen and burned to death simultaneously, his spirit torn apart.
Pssh no fun.
Settling. Watching. Protecting. It could easily do that while catching the fireballs. It was using so little of its power, after all.
The fire spirit only had a mind for the fireballs. The water spirit let another one pass, and caught a fireball that had not been slowed at all. The fire spirit took care of the one that passed. They needed to divide it this way for Little One's sake. The explosion was glorious. HAHAHAHAHA!
.
The battle went on for a long, long, long time. Master Pakku came to Katara and asked if there was a way to communicate with Zuko now. She shook her head. "You have to talk to the water spirit directly. Maybe you can send a signal to it with your waterbending. It'll have to be a big signal." Master Pakku directed his students to spread throughout the northern third of the city and use their waterbending in synchrony to shake the ice. The next fireball that came their way was not stopped before it passed the wall. Master Pakku and his students intercepted it. By taking some of the burden, they hoped to stretch the water spirit's protection for as long as possible.
Meanwhile, Sokka discovered that the jerk Princess Yue was supposed to be marrying was leading the mission he had joined. The jerk didn't recognize him, but the king gave Sokka an extra strong look while telling them to cooperate with each other. Sokka swallowed his pride and vowed to be courteous. Even if he didn't want her hand in marriage, he still wanted to be worthy of it.
The day dragged on, exhausting hearts and minds alike. As the moon lowered and darkness descended, the barrage did not stop. If anything, it increased. On one of her peeks above the wall to check on how battle was going, Katara spotted a familiar white shape flying toward her. She told a trio of men who had been assigned to her and Zuko, "Aang's coming back! Spread the word." Two of them did that.
The third remained where he was. The men weren't there to help guard Zuko; they were there to rapidly spread word if the water spirit's defense was about to fall. Katara checked Zuko's vitals. His temperature was stable-ish, his heart was pounding and his breathing was labored. She picked up one of his hands and felt it shaking. "Go now," she told the messenger. "It won't be long."
The messenger ran like the entire Fire Army was after him. Katara looked up at the wall and shivered. She hoped he would summon someone to help her take Zuko away before a fireball reduced the wall to falling chunks of rubble. She made a little protective dome over their heads just in case.
"Enough," Zuko murmured. His voice was slow, dragging out each syllable. "Enough." Katara pulled back his eyelids. The glow faded in both of them.
Just then, two people came to help her. She used her waterbending to make him a stretcher, and they whisked him away. A fireball struck the wall right behind them. Katara didn't turn back to look, but she was sure she heard rubble shattering her little dome.
She regrouped with Aang in front of the palace. Princess Yue was there too. The stretcher was laid down next to Appa. Momo looked down at Zuko and licked his face. "I took out a dozen ships, but they just keep coming," Aang told her.
"They're not stopping their attack, either," Katara said.
"Of course not," Princess Yue murmured sadly. "We draw our power from the spirit of the moon. When it's low like it is now, we're a little weaker. Why would they stop? It's the perfect time for them."
Aang nodded. "They're using lanterns to find their way around the ships anyway. Now that they've had a whole day to get used to attacking in the dark, they don't need moonlight anymore."
"I'm sure they have enough soldiers to rotate shifts. We can expect this attack to continue until it's over." Katara looked out at the invading navy. To her horror, she could see the lanternlight that Aang had described. "When the Fire Nation came to the Southern Tribe, they used their prows to smash right through our wall. They can do the same here. The city will be overrun."
Princess Yue gasped. "I think I can see the warriors leaving!" They all looked. She was right; the group of volunteers was leaving to begin their dangerous mission. It was too dark to see if Sokka was among them. Princess Yue covered her mouth. "Sokka…" She stared in horror at the lantern-lit ships.
"How is he?" They all turned. The king had emerged from the palace. Iroh was with him. They both looked at Zuko with great concern.
Katara knelt down and shook Zuko's shoulder. He groaned. "I feel like I've been trampled by a herd of ostrich horses."
"It's okay," Katara told him. "You protected the city for a whole day. That's amazing. You did a great job."
"It looks like we're on our own now," the king muttered. "Take him to a room in the palace to rest."
"No…" Zuko shivered. "It's my spirit that needs healing. Take me… To the oasis… The fish."
"Of course," Princess Yue said. "I know the way, Father. I'll take them."
Katara and Aang carried Zuko on his stretcher to a small circular door. "This is the center of spiritual energy in our land," Princess Yue told them as she opened it. "It will help him."
"Can you move?" Katara asked Zuko. He nodded. She put the stretcher down. "The door is shaped like a circle. You have to step through it." He took a few deep breaths, then rolled off the stretcher. She got his arm across her shoulders and helped him up. With a great deal of effort, they made it through the door.
It was immediately obvious why Zuko had called this place an oasis. It was a lone patch of green in the middle of a land of ice. Aang gasped. Momo flew directly towards it. Aang dashed on ahead, then turned back. "Katara, do you need my help?"
"No." Zuko seemed to be guiding her directly towards the water, though stony ledges on either side would lead them to the oasis. "I think we're okay?" Zuko stepped onto the water.
He did not fall through.
Katara stepped onto it as well, and did not fall through. They walked over the water at a slow pace, not dashing, not using waterbending, giving it every opportunity to break beneath their feet. But it did not. Katara could feel it sliding beneath her feet and splashing around her shoes, yet it was also as firm as solid earth. It wasn't like any material she'd ever walked across before. It gave her goosebumps. But Zuko seemed perfectly comfortable. He was just taking the straight path.
He gestured towards the pool. Katara helped him lie on the grass next to it. He took a deep breath and sighed. "It feels good to breathe warm air."
Momo reached into the pool. Katara shot him a stern look. He flattened his ears against his back and ran away. Meanwhile, Aang stood under the gate. "You were right, Yue. I can feel something. It's so…tranquil."
Princess Yue looked down. "I feel bad, being here while my people are out there fighting for their lives."
"Hey, I just got an idea!" Aang leaped for joy. "While I'm here, why don't I ask the spirits for help?"
"That's a great idea!" Princess Yue said. "The ocean and moon spirits can give you guidance."
"Or unleash a crazy awesome spirit attack against the Fire Nation!" He looked around and saw blank faces. "Or guidance. That's good too."
"No," Zuko muttered. "You have to go back out there."
Aang shot him a glare. "Since when do I take orders from you? Besides, asking for help is our best chance."
"Okay, fine. Let's try it." Zuko rolled over and looked into the pool. "Hey guys, can you help us fight off the Fire Navy?" The fish changed their pattern, swimming around the pool as a pair. Zuko waited a few seconds. Nothing about the fish looked any different. "Didn't think so." He rolled onto his back again. "They're vulnerable in this form, Avatar. You have to go back out there and stop Zhao from reaching this place. If he catches them, it's all over."
Aang's eyes widened. "Those fish are the moon and ocean spirits?"
"Yeah." Zuko turned his head. They made eye contact. This time, Aang saw resolution. "Protect them."
Aang was surprised, but he shouldn't have been. He'd always been convinced that beneath their allegiances, beneath their superficial personalities, he and Zuko could be friends. Why was it surprising that they were not enemies? Why was it surprising that, even if Aang wanted to fight, they ended up on the same side after all? Aang was ashamed to have wished that Zuko wouldn't step up to protect people. Was he willing to sacrifice half the city and who knows how many people just to look good? No; it was better to be friends than rivals.
Aang nodded. "I will."