Azula listened to Mai and Ty Lee's account of the fight with one eyebrow raised. Both girls knelt before her, heads lowered toward the floor. "Our apologies for losing the battle, Princess," Mai said in a bland voice.
"You are forgiven," Azula said. "You may have lost the fight, but you gathered information that shall help me win the war. Zuko is on the Avatar's side, just as Zhao said. And he seems to have a problem with Ty Lee. I take it people don't usually scream when you pinch them?"
"No, Princess Azula," Ty Lee replied.
"We can take advantage of that." Azula turned away, already forming a plan. "You two are dismissed."
As Mai and Ty Lee left, Azula looked out a window. She had already sent servants to prepare for departure. In only a few minutes, the palanquin would be ready. She spent those few minutes wondering about her brother's sanity. He might have been a failure, but at least he tried. She'd held a grudging admiration for his perseverance, similar to the kind one holds for a baby struggling to learn to walk. But if he was really as loyal as he claimed to be, he would understand that becoming a traitor made him totally worthless. The most loyal act he could perform now was to sacrifice himself honorably so that his failures could not get in the way of others' success. Honestly, why was he still alive? He must be more of a coward than she'd expected. A true loyal servant would not hesitate to give of their own life.
As the three of them left the city, she in her palanquin and Mai and Ty Lee walking alongside, Ty Lee said, "It was nice to see Zuko again, wasn't it, Mai?"
Azula frowned. Mai's stupid crush on Zuko could not be allowed to interfere. "Don't relax just because he and the Avatar conveniently revealed themselves to us. I still need the both of you to be at your best in order to track and capture them. Can I count on you?"
"Of course!" Ty Lee replied. "Still, it is nice that we don't have to hunt all over the Earth Kingdom like you thought."
Azula's brow furrowed. Ty Lee's words had inspired her to ask an important question. How was Zuko traveling? Presumably, he traveled with the Avatar on the flying bison. That meant tracking him was as simple as tracking an enormous hairy beast. It should be easy. But her father had always drilled her never to rely on shoulds. Surely the Avatar's team couldn't have survived for so long by being so blazingly stupid as to trust a firebender right next to them? Perhaps they traveled separately somehow. She needed to be ready for anything. If they did travel together, perhaps she could exploit the lingering distrust. If they didn't, it would be easier to split them up. Get Zuko alone. Alone, he was a sitting turtleduck for Ty Lee.
No matter what, Azula had the advantage. It didn't matter what happened. She would win, as she always had, as she always would.
.
Zuko was haunted by Mai's words. He's on their side, doofus! He thought about them often, sometimes touching Kalika's necklace for guidance. Those words filled him with guilt, terror, shame, paralysis, and dread. But they were also a bit of a relief? After several days of thinking, he wondered if perhaps he did not have to make the hard choice Katara told him to make. Perhaps some other part of him had spared him that effort. It was a relief, and also a terror, because what else might other parts of him decide without his consent? But he had felt fully himself when he protected Katara. Was it his own decision or not? He struggled mightily, but did not tell anyone else he was doing so.
Katara detected it anyway. She came over to his and Iroh's camp one night. "You seem to have something on your mind," she told Zuko. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I can't make the decision," Zuko replied. "Not with this part of me, anyway. I am loyal to my family. I care what my father thinks of me. I can't decide whether to be with him or against him. But even though I don't think I've made a decision, I'm acting like I have. Maybe some other part of me did. The part that has always made the decisions, always acted in ways I didn't want to act, that's never gotten permission from the rest of me before upending my life. I hate never being in control of my own life! If it's not someone else bossing me around, then it's that part of me. I am never allowed to make my own decisions." He took a deep breath. "But do I want to? I clearly can't make a decision, not without a lot of pain. And another part of me is still Me, so any move it makes is technically my choice." He groaned. "It doesn't make any sense!"
"It sounds like the part of you that makes decisions and the part of you that cares about consequences are separate," Katara said, sitting down. "You need to get them to work together. Your decisions have to be realistic, and you have to feel like they're yours."
"I'm impulsive. Most of my decisions aren't made with concern about the consequences," Zuko told her. "I can't change what I am. And maybe I shouldn't. Stifling my impulses is what got me into trouble. My instincts seem to have the right idea. Or at least the people around me tell me that the impulsive choices I make are better than the reasoned choices." He sighed. "I don't know what the difference is between what I think and what other people think."
"Sounds tough," Katara murmured. "Don't worry, Zuko. It may be rough right now, but I'm confident you'll work everything out eventually."
"I still don't know what it means," Zuko muttered. I choose life over death. But what does that mean? My instincts always got me in trouble before. But recently, my attempts to use reason were what endangered me. Giving up and letting my instincts guide me saved my life. What should I do? What's more likely to get me killed now?
Iroh patted his shoulder. "She's right. Don't worry, Nephew. We'll help you for as long as you need."
.
Aang had no idea how to find an earthbending teacher. He landed in random villages and asked for directions. Nobody had a clue where to find an earthbending teacher worthy of teaching the Avatar. After a couple of days, he gathered the group and sighed. "I have no idea how to find a teacher. Asking around hoping to get lucky isn't working. What do we do?"
"Can we ask the earth for a good teacher?" Sokka asked, pointing at Zuko.
Zuko sighed. "I… I don't think so."
Momo climbed onto Aang's shoulder, ears raised. "I thought you refused to have anything to do with my quest," Aang said.
"A part of me has decided to help you," Zuko said. "I don't know whether to fight it or not."
"The teacher you need is someone who can listen to the earth like badger moles do," Katara told Aang. "I doubt a person like that is going to advertise their services."
"So, ask badger moles for a recommendation? But we don't have any instruments with us. How would I get their attention?"
"Badger moles are natural masters like dragons are, right?" Zuko asked. "They master earthbending because they need to in order to survive. Maybe you're looking for a person with the same need. Someone who can't live without earthbending."
"Good point," Katara said. "Maybe we're looking in the wrong sort of place. We should try looking somewhere out of the way, somewhere hidden. Maybe where the earth shifts around a lot."
"Okay," Aang chirped. "Head for the wilderness. It's worth a try."
That was how they found themselves flying over the largest swamp they had ever heard of. It stretched from horizon to horizon. The sight of it was awe-inspiring, at least for a little while. Sokka looked over the side of the saddle. "I don't see any land down there for people to live on."
"Maybe the edge of the swamp," Katara suggested. Aang agreed. He settled into the meditative state he used for flying long, boring distances. He watched the water glimmer between the swamp trees. Then another patch of water, then another, passing underneath him in a steady rhythm. It was soothing.
"Aang!" Aang jerked upright. "Why are we going down?" Sokka asked.
"What? I didn't even notice." Now that he was out of the trance, he did. Appa was slowly but surely approaching the swamp.
"Is something going on?" Katara asked.
Aang looked down at the swamp again. It continued to look soothing. Gentle. Oddly welcoming. "Guys, this is going to sound crazy, but I think the swamp is calling to me."
"Uncle, give me the pack," Zuko demanded. Iroh wrestled it free and handed it to him. Zuko let the water dragon fly itself as he rummaged in a side pocket and pulled out the necklace with the leaping fish. He put it on. "What is it with these living swamps?"
"Are you talking about the one where you rescued the kid?" Sokka asked.
"Yes. You don't know what it was like in there. I walked in on a perfectly clear path, but on my way out, there were roots where I hadn't seen any before. I was able to walk over the water, but eventually they started blocking that too." Zuko shuddered. "I still see roots in my nightmares. Even the word sounds creepy to me now."
"Aang, is the swamp telling you why it wants you?" Katara asked. "Is it friendly, or…not?"
"I don't know. Zuko, does it look like the other swamp?"
"No," Zuko said. "The other swamp looked guarded. It had plants growing like fences, as if to keep people out. This swamp is more welcoming to outsiders. But why?"
"I have to listen to the earth," Aang murmured. "Even though I'm not touching it, it's being pretty loud right now."
"Doesn't mean you have to do what it says," Sokka argued.
"I'm normally supportive of adventures, but in a muddy swamp?" Iroh looked into the distance. "Perhaps we can enter it from a nice town with a massage parlor…"
"You're all idiots," Zuko declared. "This swamp is capable of doing things in the airspace above it. If it really wants you, Avatar, it'll probably force you to land. I guess it would be easier to just go along with it now." He muttered something angrily.
"Okay," Aang said. "Swamp, I accept your invitation. But only if my friends stay with me, and I want to know what this is about, okay?" He led Appa to a gap in the trees. Zuko zoomed downwards ahead of them. He hovered over open water and concentrated. The water turned to ice. There was more than enough room for the dragon and Appa to land, and for everyone to get out and take a look around.
It had taken careful maneuvering to get through the gap in the trees. Appa was not going to get far by flying. The trees stretched far overhead, blocking out much of the sky. Vines were strung between them, and they hung down to ground level too. Well, water level. "Technically not roots," Sokka pointed out. Zuko shivered.
"I'm here," Aang called. "What do you want, swamp?" His words echoed into the trees. There was no immediate answer.
Katara looked around. "It's even creepier now that we're inside it."
"Just touch the earth and get this over with, Avatar," Zuko pleaded.
"I don't see any earth to touch," Aang said. "Maybe a tree will do." He pressed his palm flat against the trunk of a tree and closed his eyes. "Okay, swamp. I'm listening."
The tree felt oddly warm beneath his hand. Soft, too, like flesh. He could imagine he was touching a person. In a flash, he saw someone! It was too brief a glimpse to tell who they were. He opened his eyes. "I… I imagined someone just now. I don't know who."
"Hmm…" Iroh held a vine in his hand and closed his eyes. His brow furrowed. He opened his eyes and said, "I don't think the swamp wants only you, Avatar. It has something for each of us."
"What'd it say to you?" Katara asked.
"I got a sense of great connectedness. I believe this swamp, as different as all its trees may seem, is really one living thing."
"We already knew that," Zuko said.
"Nuh uh," Sokka argued. "It's just a bunch of plants. Plants don't talk."
"You're right, Sokka," Katara said. "Plants are approximately as chatty as water is."
The water dragon attempted to give Sokka a hug. He struggled free. "Fine, fine. Normal reality doesn't apply here. Got it. So, Katara, expert on everything bizarre and strange, what should we do?"
"I don't know," Katara said. "Uh… What did Old Man Hi Tung have to say about that other swamp, again?"
"Something something found a little cottage in the middle of it somewhere?" Aang said.
"Explore the swamp." Sokka looked like he'd rather stick his head in an anthill. But he swallowed his protests and pulled out his sword.
"Sokka, what are you doing?" Katara asked.
"Are you nuts?!" Zuko asked. He leaped upon Sokka and wrestled the sword out of his hand. "Way to get us all killed!"
"How are we supposed to explore the swamp if we can't move?" Sokka gestured to the vines that hung down, threatening to tangle anyone who tried to walk through them.
Zuko gave his sword back. "Let me try." He stepped off the ice onto water, not seeming to notice a difference. He touched a vine. "Let me through." Squeezing himself between them was still an arduous affair. "You realize I'm doing you a favor, right? I could just let him hack away." The vines continued to be obnoxious. Zuko growled and stalked back to the group. "They're not cooperative. On the other hand, they're not trying to kill me, so it's an improvement."
Aang put his hand on the tree again. "Swamp, if there is somewhere we're meant to go, open a path for us." He waited a few seconds, then took his hand away. "Anyone see a path?"
Momo chattered from across the ice. They looked and saw a surprisingly clear path. "Coincidence," Sokka declared.
"Maybe," Aang said with a smile. "Or maybe it's where I need to go to find a teacher!" He dashed ahead. He stopped and waited for everyone else to catch up. His smile faded. Might his optimism prove naive, yet again? Inaccurate, or worse, useless? His smile returned. No; that only happened with human beings. Spirits and natural forces had yet to disappoint him. No matter what the swamp might do, he wasn't as scared of it as he was of Azula. He had faith that the swamp could be made into an ally, if it wasn't one already. As soon as the others caught up, he dashed off again, using airbending to propel himself from tree to tree.
.
"Aang, wait!" Katara called. He didn't hear her. He disappeared into the trees.
"Guess we're following him," Sokka muttered. But when they tried, they found the way blocked.
"Uh oh," Zuko said. "We shouldn't be splitting up." Just as he said that, Momo flew after Aang. The lemur, too, could not be called back. Zuko pressed his palm into his forehead hard enough to leave a red mark. "Why does this keep happening?"
"Why does what keep happening?" Sokka asked.
"People making decisions without my consent!" Zuko snapped. "He just ran off regardless of my warnings! It's like nothing I say matters!"
Katara turned. "Zuko -"
"Fine!" Zuko yelled. He was in full meltdown and couldn't hear her. "Fine! If that's how it is, then I'll go with it!" He ran in a random direction. The water dragon turned to floating water and zoomed after him. Iroh called his name in panic, but Zuko didn't respond. He was soon out of sight.
"Does he not hear himself?" Sokka asked. "He just did exactly what he was mad at Aang for doing."
"That's why he was mad at Aang for doing it," Katara said. She took a deep breath. "There's you, me, Iroh and Appa left. I… I'm not sure what to do. Split up? Try to stay together?"
Appa roared. "Appa doesn't want to be alone in this place, and neither do I," Sokka said.
"Are my eyes deceiving me, or is that a delicious tea bush just around the corner?" Iroh said. "No matter which it is, it's probably something the swamp sent. I vote to split up." He dashed across a fallen branch and out of sight.
"I'm staying with Appa," Sokka declared.
"I have my waterbending, and the swamp is half water, so I think I'll be fine," Katara said. "Um… See you around?"
Sokka sighed. "Yeah, I guess so." Katara waved goodbye, then walked off. It felt wrong to leave behind a member of her own family. She turned back, gripped by indecision. But Sokka and Appa had already left by the time she returned. Katara gulped and looked for a clear path.
She found one. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "I hope Zuko knew what he was talking about," she whispered. She followed the path of least vines and hoped she wasn't getting herself lost. What if she had just left everyone she loved behind for nothing? What if Sokka got into danger and she wasn't there to rescue him? What if they didn't reunite? Katara broke into a run. She dashed blindly along, working herself into a panic. Tears streamed from her eyes.
She gasped. "Zuko?" He disappeared behind a tree. She ran to the base of the tree and looked around. At first she couldn't see him. But then, a flash of white caught her eye. She saw Zuko lying in the water. The look on his face made every hair on her body stand on end. He looked not at all concerned to be underwater, his face blank and just…off. As she watched, his chest spasmed. His mouth opened. But he made no effort to get out of the water. "Zuko!" She leaped in to rescue him. But the splash from her feet obstructed her view. When it died down, he was gone. She was standing in an empty pool of water.
Katara gasped and stepped back, her eyes wide. "A vision," she whispered. "Just… Just a vision…" She started running and didn't stop. Why would the swamp send her a vision of his death? What was it saying? Was he in danger?
.
Zuko sat down on a stump and huffed. "Okay. You have me. I'm alone. Let's get this over with." The water reformed into a dragon. It immediately used its clawed flippers to climb a tree. It didn't do too badly, surprisingly. Were water dragons really strong enough to drag their whole weight up a vertical surface using nothing but their flippers?
His hair stood on end, warning him of a familiar presence. He whipped around. "Father?" The apparition disappeared behind a tree. Shreds of bark pelted Zuko's head as the water dragon slid down. He brushed them off absentmindedly and followed the vision.
He saw, a great distance away, so far it could have been just a trick of the light, his father. He didn't dare approach. His father looked upward, just as dignified as always. The sight of him made Zuko feel ashamed. "I'm sorry, Father," he whispered. "I just can't be the son you wanted. I'm too weak."
"I have no son," the apparition seemed to say. It walked away. Zuko sobbed, tears running down his cheeks. He mumbled another apology, knowing it would never be enough.
He went for a walk after that, feeling very low and depressed, needing time to think. Why does something that probably happened a long time ago hurt as badly as if it was new?
.
Aang realized too late that he'd outrun his friends. He went back to look for them, but couldn't find them. "Guys? Guys!" he called. He pulled out his bison whistle and blew it. There was no response.
He wandered around, following the path of least roots and hoping to find his friends at the end of it. "He did say the swamp had something for each of us," he muttered. "Maybe we had to split up." Even so, Aang was hurt that he'd been taken away from all of his friends. His fists tightened. His heart pounded. Was he angry?
No, he realized. He was scared. What if the swamp was evil? What if it wanted to hurt them and he'd led all of his friends straight into a trap? What if, even now, everyone he loved was suffering some horrible fate and it was all his fault for trusting too easily? Aang whimpered. He kept following the path, because he had no choice. The self doubt that plagued him was worse than anything he'd felt before. Even the guilt he had felt for abandoning his people wasn't as bad as this, because at least he knew what had happened there. Not knowing what the consequences of his actions were, if he still had a chance to go back and undo a bad decision or not, if going back was the right thing to do, how much time he had to avert disaster if there was a disaster to avert… It froze him in place, shuddering, knees knocking together. Aang had never been so paralyzed before. He forced himself to keep moving, telling himself he had no choice. He needed to believe that.
He heard laughter. It shocked him out of his paralysis. In a tree above, a girl in a white dress played with a winged boar. She ran away before Aang could get a good look at her. He followed her, fear forgotten. She was either a vision or capable of teleportation. He saw her in trees, running along the ground, behind, in front, to his side. Always, always laughing without a care in the world.
She eventually disappeared for good. Aang stood on an enormous root and looked around. No laughter greeted his ears. He realized he didn't need it anymore. He was no longer paralyzed by fear. He saw that he was surrounded by other enormous roots as wide as tree trunks. What kind of tree could have roots so big? He resolved to find out.
.
Sokka was alone. There was nobody to yell at him. But he kept his word and avoided slicing through the vines, because he was supposed to be an honorable warrior. He secretly hoped to find himself totally trapped so that he would have a good excuse. But he always found a clear path available to him. "Just follow the path that's already clear, Sokka," he muttered to himself in a mocking imitation of someone else's voice. "Don't bother making your own path. We'll just trust the swamp to provide, even though it's scary and manipulative and we've known it for less than ten minutes." He kicked at a clod of earth. In his normal voice, he asked aloud, "What's wrong with wanting things to be nice and normal and predictable?"
It was the treacherous earth that had separated him from Appa. An embankment crumbled beneath his feet, sending him sliding. When he climbed back up, Appa was nowhere to be found. Sokka kept his sword at the ready in case animal life should attack. It was okay to slice at the animals, right? Sokka was getting real sick of having everybody tell him he was wrong for wanting to control his own life.
He stopped. Far away, across a pool of water, he saw...Princess Yue? "No way," he told himself. "It's just a trick of the light." He had nothing better to do, so he approached it anyway.
It definitely wasn't just a trick of the light. Maybe he was losing his mind, because he heard the vision speak. She glanced at him as he approached and asked, "Are you my prince?" Sokka rubbed his eyes. When he opened them, she was gone.
He looked for a clear path and found one. He rubbed his head. Was there really anything wrong with conserving his energy? Regardless of the swamp's intentions, he could get himself in serious trouble blundering about with no clue where he was going. "The things I think I want aren't always good for me," he muttered, remembering Yue. "Thanks for the reminder, swamp." He thought suspicious thoughts at it, since it was clearly capable of reading his mind, but followed the path anyway.
.
Momo did not catch up to Aang as he had hoped. The lemur landed on a branch and listened, but there was no human within sight or hearing. His ears drooped. He flew in circles, chattering anxiously. On one of his circles, he saw an open path between two branches. He flew to it immediately. Aang might be there!
Momo flew quite a long way before becoming distracted by an insect. With much aerial maneuvering, he caught it and ate it. It didn't satisfy his aching belly like a fruit or a fish would have. Where was Aang? Momo looked around. His ears drooped again. No Aang. And no food.
He perked up at nearby animal sounds. They came from the water. Momo hid in a tree and peered down. Strange animals that he had never seen before swam below. They were small, with fuzzy yellow heads and smooth shelled backs. They quacked. Their toothless beaks seemed harmless enough. Maybe their shells could be cracked open on a tree. Momo flew down. By the time he landed, they had vanished. He searched all around the pool. There was no sign of them. He screeched in frustration, then flew away hoping to find Aang or food or both.
.
Appa was angry. No humans. No master. No access to the sky. He couldn't fly. Mud sucked at his feet. He might as well be underground in a very humid, dank tunnel. And somehow, the everything-around was to blame for it. He used his horns to gore trees and slash through vines, occasionally roaring his displeasure.
After he charged a fallen log for no other reason than because he could, he sensed movement. He whipped around to see a large creature coming toward him. It looked a little like a human, with two arms, but it was green and smelled of water and plants and had a strange face. Was it one of those things that the master sometimes talked to? Appa roared at it.
The green creature stopped. Its skin dissolved. It wasn't a creature at all, but really a bunch of plants woven together. In the middle of them was a human. "What's happened here?" the human asked. "Animals don't lash out like this. Why do you want to hurt the swamp?"
Appa roared again. Then he lowered his head and nickered sadly. "You're lost, aren't you?" the human asked, approaching. He seemed kind. Appa let the human pet his nose. "You're not supposed to be in the swamp. This isn't your home." Appa snorted in agreement. "Where is your home? Maybe I can help you get there," the human said.
Appa looked up. There was enough open air for him to lift up and fly in a very tight circle. "Oh, I see," the human said. "You're meant to fly. Come, follow me. I'll take you to the banyan grove tree. It overlooks the swamp. From its roots, you will be able to fly away with no trouble."
Appa followed the human away. He did not gore any more trees or slash at any vines. Merely being in the presence of a human was reassuring. He could not wait to get out of this horrible muddy place.
.
Iroh took a nice, leisurely stroll. He was in no hurry. The tea bush had turned out to be an illusion, but that did not sour his mood; he had never taken a stroll through a swamp before, so it was a new and interesting experience. The amount of animal life he heard calling above him, invisible to his eyes, was very exciting. His feet got wet, but it wasn't as muddy as he had feared. He could walk easily.
He didn't know what made him look to his right. But look he did, and what he saw there was worth it. His son, Lu Ten, stood at attention facing away from him. Iroh knew it must be a vision, but his heart clenched anyway. "Son?" he whispered as he walked up. He wanted to touch the illusion, put a fatherly hand on his son's shoulder once more. But it vanished as he came within arm's reach, turning into nothing more than a stump.
Iroh, too, walked through the swamp feeling low and needing time to think. Would he see his son again in the spirit world someday?