"I thought we were finally getting some action," Mai complained.
"Don't worry. You will. All in good time," Azula replied.
"I have complete faith in you, Princess Azula," Ty Lee chirped. "But I'm curious too. Why do you need a war machine?"
"Do you really think a small team of people, no matter how skilled, can take down the Avatar at full power?" Azula asked her companions. She raised an eyebrow. "True, he's not fully trained, but better overkill than underkill."
"I was thinking a small team of trained fighters ambushing from all sides would have a better chance than a single noisy machine," Mai said. "I thought that was what we were tracking him for. Ty Lee and I have spent weeks following him around the Earth Kingdom, and it was all so we could get replaced by something that can't possibly catch him?"
"Being impulsive gets you nowhere," Azula snapped. "We must catch him. But we have some time. We can use that time to wear him down, drain his power. Weaken him and all of his companions. The war machine is ideal for harrying them. They won't get so much as an hour of rest. If I'm lucky, two straight days of that will make my brother question his loyalties again. Chaos will erupt. Then the three of us will have our best chance yet."
"So we're not being replaced!" Ty Lee cheered. "We'll go with the war machine and catch him when he's down!"
"Sounds like a plan," Mai said with a small smile.
Azula stood and rolled up the map on which Mai and Ty Lee had marked the Avatar's movements. She beckoned her two companions to follow her out of the little room they were using as a strategy room. While leaving her suite, she calculated how long it might take. Mai and Ty Lee had last seen the Avatar heading towards a promising ravine, and he seemed to have picked up an earthbending teacher of some sort. The Fire Nation colony Azula was using as a launching ground was, at the speed the war machine traveled…about a day away from that ravine. Good. She did hope to catch him before he learned any earthbending.
The mechanics down at the yard assured her the war machine was in full working order and completely fueled. She smiled and visited the animal handlers next to make sure their lizards were in tip-top condition for chasing down a flying boy.
"Something just occurred to me," Mai whispered while they walked. "What if we lose sight of the bison?"
"Timeing is on our side," Azula replied. "Before Father finally granted me permission to hunt down the Avatar, I channeled my frustrations into learning everything I could about him. I learned some trivia about sky bison that may come in handy."
As nice as it was to be admired for her strategic genius, bringing this up made Azula's jaw clench. Firelord Ozai was too nice to Zuko. Azula should have taken over the mission to track and capture the Avatar right from the start. If her father hadn't placed so much faith in his son, the same son that had only ever been a screw-up, the Avatar wouldn't have made it to the North Pole. Azula seethed with jealousy. No matter how relentlessly she trained, no matter how capable she proved herself, she never got the recognition she deserved. Zuko, on the other hand, screwed up over and over yet was always given second chances, right up until the moment he proved himself to be an out-and-out traitor. And even then, who had taken over the mission? Not her! Zhao! An arrogant, impulsive braggart!
Azula was worth more than a dozen Zhaos put together, more than fifty Zukos put together, and she would stop at nothing to prove it.
.
After leaving the arena, everybody pretty much slept in the saddle. Nobody had the energy to set up a proper camp. The next morning, they all had more energy…but nobody had a clue where to begin. They busied themselves with trivia and with business, mapping out the route to the nearest likely training ground. But even Katara was at a total loss for how to explain their more…personal dynamics to a new person. How could someone who hadn't traveled with them before understand what they'd been through?
They all seemed to silently agree that more time was needed. Camp was made for the night in a stand of thick, covering trees. Maybe after another night of sleep, they would be ready to welcome Toph in. Aang's group camped separately from Zuko and Iroh, as usual. Toph looked around. "Why are you splitting up?"
"We have some history with Zuko," Sokka explained. "It's not a good idea to hang out with him too much."
Toph narrowed her eyes. "What kind of history?"
"He has some anger problems," Aang said. "He needs alone time."
Toph didn't say anything more, but the look on her face did not relax. She seemed unhappy about something. Suspicious, even? She drank from her own waterskin and snatched her portion of meat out of Katara's hands, then got up and walked away.
Katara sighed. "None of us are great at lying. She can probably hear it in our voices. She knows something's up."
"I know," Aang said, lying flat on the ground. "But how do you even try to explain?" Momo leaned over his head and stared into his eyes.
"By trying," Katara replied. "No matter what, we've got to say something, or else she'll lose trust in us."
Sokka yawned. "Tomorrow. We can do all of that tomorrow." After dinner, he laid out the sleeping bags for everyone while Aang put up the tents and Katara dealt with the remains of the fire. When this was done, Toph still hadn't come back. "She can fight off wolves," Sokka said with a shrug, "I'm not waiting up for her." He crawled into his sleeping bag and went to sleep. Aang and Katara looked at each other. They didn't know what to do either. They ended up erring on the side of caution, going to bed instead of looking for Toph.
Which was just as well, because she didn't come back to their camp at any point that night.
.
Zuko's heart pounded when he saw her walking up to them. I am such a coward. I've been trying to work up the courage all day to tell her something, anything. Even something like, "Talking with your parents like that must have taken a lot of strength." Or maybe something like, "I think you're cool." Ugh, I don't know what I want to say. And I'm too much of a coward to say it anyway. He blushed, embarrassed and ashamed of himself.
Toph stopped and stared at him across the fire. "Welcome!" Iroh called. "Come, sit anywhere you like." He put on his biggest beaming smile, even though she couldn't possibly see it.
He got no response. "I can see the world through vibrations just as clearly as you can through sight," Toph said to Zuko. "I can even feel the footsteps of those bugs over there."
Zuko realized his heart was giving him away. She knew everything. Her gaze made him feel itchy, but in a good way, similar to how Riri's earnest desire to learn more about him had made him feel. He gazed back at her. "Uncle, go somewhere else."
After a startled pause, Iroh did just that. Only when he was out of hearing range did Toph sit down. She watched Zuko from across the fire, and he watched her in return. "What's your deal?" she asked softly.
"Did you hear what I said to Aang on the porch?"
"Yeah."
"Then you can probably guess what my deal is." I don't think I can say it out loud.
Toph huffed. "You'll have to do better than that."
A shivering sensation ran down Zuko's entire body. Her respect for him was dropping. That was the opposite of what he wanted. He sat up straighter. "Fine. I, uh… Come from a pretty bad place, okay? You do too. And I admire how brave and tough you are despite that." There, I said it.
Toph smiled. "You're bigger than me, older than me, but you don't have half the guts. You're jealous of a little twelve year old blind girl!"
Zuko cringed. Being accused of that would have been humiliating enough, even if it hadn't been true. "I'm not jealous," he snapped.
"Jealous, envious, whatever. The point is, you want what I've got."
He tried to fire back a witty response, but couldn't.
Toph laughed. "Don't worry, I'll keep your secret. For now. Until I need to blackmail you for something."
I am a prince, trained to protect my honor and that of my nation in political combat, and this kid has me beat. Zuko had never felt this way before. Katara had persevered despite all obstacles he put in her way, but Toph just flat-out destroyed those obstacles. She didn't need to pry the truth from him; his traitorous heartbeat spoke to her directly. His armor of crossed arms, his scowling face, his snippy words - none of that would work on Toph. It was scary to be around her. But a good kind of scary? He didn't know how he felt about it.
Toph tore meat off her drumstick, swallowed it, and licked her lips afterwards. "So, what sort of history do you have with the Avatar and his crew?"
She'll see through any lie I tell, so I might as well be honest. But when Zuko tried to speak honestly, he struggled. He realized that he was used to and vastly preferred other people figuring out the truth about him by themselves. Actually speaking his own truth was nearly impossible. "What, they didn't tell you?"
She laughed. "They're looking after you, aren't they?"
A strangled, angry reply caught in Zuko's throat and tripped over itself. He got himself under control, then replied, "No. They're just being friendly to me. And for a long time, I didn't realize that, and I yelled at them for pitying me. They didn't want to be yelled at, so now I stay as far away from them as I can."
"They all but kick you out just because they're a bunch of thin-skinned babies? Wow, some friends."
"No! I'm really good at hurting people. You wouldn't know about it because I've stopped doing that, but trust me, at my worst I could have sent even you running."
"Oh yeah? Try me."
Zuko's jaw dropped. I can't have heard that correctly.
"I mean it," Toph said. "Try me. Do your worst."
Horror crept through his bones, making every hair on his body stand on end. No. She can't want to see me like that. Nobody does.
"Okay, this scaredy-cat act used to be funny, but it's getting old," Toph said.
Zuko swallowed. Even so, his voice croaked as he said, "No. You don't want to see that. Nobody does."
She glared. "Are you telling me what I do and don't want?" He tried to deny it, but she stood up before he could say anything. "Fine. Be that way. I'll take a walk. I've never been in these woods before." She left the fire. Zuko stared after her, his mouth open, feeling like his entire world had been turned upside down.
Iroh came back some time later. By then, Zuko had set up the tent and put out their bedrolls. "How was she?" Iroh asked.
Zuko didn't answer. He didn't mean to be rude. He just had no words to say. He was glad that the water spirit wasn't around to say anything. This, he wanted to keep to himself. Whatever "this" was.
.
The next day, they all reconvened. "Where did you sleep last night?" Aang asked Toph.
"Why do you care?"
"Just curious."
"I can look after myself. Nothing's getting through a tent made of stone."
"Okaayyy," Aang said. "That sounds pretty uncomfortable, though."
"I don't remember the part where I said it was your business," Toph snapped.
"We're allowed to worry about our friends," Katara shot back.
"Why? You don't need to. I'm fine."
"That's not the point -"
"Woah, woah, woah," Iroh said, raising his hands. "We have better things to do than fight."
Katara sighed. "Fine. Let's just find a place to practice earthbending."
As they flew, the sun blazed down. It was getting hot. Aang wrapped some cloth around his head to protect his skin. Everyone else leaned into the breeze, which wasn't as strong as it could have been, because Appa flew slowly in the heat. They stopped multiple times for water breaks, each time deliberately choosing not to talk because the heat was making them cranky. The hot day must have set something off, because by the time they landed at the proposed place, Appa's movements as he hovered above the ground before landing caused fur to rain from his sides.
They all got down to make their camp. "Wow, you guys picked a great place," Toph said. "The grass is so soft."
"That's not grass," Sokka told her. "Appa's shedding."
"Gross!" Katara exclaimed.
"It's not gross," Aang told her. "It's just a part of spring. You know, rebirth, flowers blooming, and Appa gets a new coat."
"Ah, the beauty of spring," Katara said sarcastically. Some of Appa's shed fur got into his nose, causing him to sneeze. Fur flew everywhere. Katara coughed and tried to shield herself from it.
"Hey, it's not so bad," Sokka said while arranging some of the shed fur on his head. "It makes a great wig!"
"And a great beard!" Aang said, showing off a truly majestic facial hair creation. They laughed at each other.
"I'm so glad we finally have another girl in this group," Katara muttered.
Toph walked up. "Excuse me, does anyone have a razor? Because I got some hairy pits." She put her hands behind her head, revealing lots of shed hair stuffed into her shirt sleeves. Sokka and Aang burst out laughing. In an instant, all the tension and crankiness caused by the heat disappeared. Aang sneezed and flew backward into Appa's side, which only made him laugh harder. Even Katara started to laugh. Love and joy filled the air.
Iroh gave Zuko a shove, whispering, "Join in!"
Zuko looked down at the shed hair and knew he couldn't do it. Anything he tried would come off as stiff and unnatural. Because it was unnatural. He was a prince, not a circus freak. He watched Toph and tried to remember how unprincely she had made him feel, but he still couldn't make up a fur joke on the spot. For a brief moment, he hated that.
"We do need to sweep it away so we don't sneeze all night," Katara said. Aang agreed. With a gust of wind, he blew the shed fur away. They looked around, declared the clearing and its nearby ravine to be worthy of exploration the following day, and decided to call an early night. Katara went out to gather water. Aang fixed up tents, and Sokka gathered firewood. Zuko looked around, but didn't see any kind of natural obstacle to separate their sides, so he and Iroh set up on the far side of the clearing.
Toph, meanwhile, foraged in the forest, then leaned against a rock and relaxed. Everybody else carried firewood, moved bedrolls and generally made themselves busy, but she did nothing. She simply sat and watched them all through her feet, making zero effort. Katara eventually got tired of this. She walked up to Toph, put on her politest face, and said, "So, Toph, usually when setting up camp, we try to divide up the work."
"Don't worry about me. I'm good to go," Toph said.
"Well, what I'm trying to say is, some of us might fetch water while someone else might set up the fire pit or put up the tent." Momo brought her some nuts. "Even Momo does his fair share."
"Katara, I'm fine. I can carry my own weight," Toph replied. "I don't need a fire. I've already collected my own food. And my tent's already set up." She earthbended herself a stone tent on the spot.
"Well, that's great for you," Katara said angrily. "But we still need to finish -"
"I don't understand. What's the problem here?"
Katara huffed and stormed away. Toph remained right where she was. Nothing had been accomplished.
Zuko looked over. She was right, though. She's not adding anything to their burden, so why is Katara mad? Regardless of how little sense it made, he knew that the Avatar's group, Katara especially, was unlikely to ever let anything go. They were probably going to continue to harass Toph. I don't know what their problem is, but they can't be allowed to inflict it on everyone. Especially not her.
Zuko turned and called across the clearing, "Hey, Toph. Want to trade?"
"Trade what?" she asked. Others stopped what they were doing to look at him.
"My uncle here lost his son in the war. He's desperate for young people to spend quality time with. You'd be doing him a favor," Zuko told her. "If these people need help setting up camp so bad, I'll do it."
Toph shrugged. "If it gets Miss Bossypants off my back, I'm in." She walked over to Iroh. Zuko joined the Avatar's crew and lit their firepit.
"How did you do that?" Katara asked him.
"I haven't done anything," Zuko snapped back. "I'm just here to find out what your problem is. She's not adding anything to your burden. You have exactly as much work to do as you had before. Why are you complaining and getting mad at her for not sharing in what's none of her business?"
"If she's traveling with us, it is her business," Katara replied. "If you're part of a group, then you share in the work. Even if you didn't create any of the work. That's just how groups are."
"So joining you people means signing up for indentured slavery whether you want to or not. Ugh. She already agreed to teach Aang. Isn't that enough?"
"It's not slavery," Katara said, bristling. "We're going to worry about her and do things for her no matter what because that's how friendship works. It's unfair and selfish for her to do nothing in return."
"Selfish? Are you insane?"
"Can we not do this right now?" Sokka asked. He crept closer and whispered, "We still haven't found a good time to tell her about our history with you."
"Maybe now's the time," Zuko said in a loud, clear voice. Aang and Sokka tried to shush him, but he continued. Toph and Iroh abandoned even the pretense of work to listen. "You people have a pattern of being demanding jerks. When the water spirit attacked my ship and forced me to travel with you, I had to leave everything behind. I had to somehow reconcile my loyalty to my father with the fact that I was traveling with his enemies. That was hard enough. Then you demanded all kinds of frivolous extras from me, like joining in jokes and storytime and childish games. Unnecessary, difficult, unreasonable burdens. Why do you jerks keep throwing extra work on the shoulders of people who have already sacrificed everything they knew and loved? It's like you enjoy tormenting the weak! You're supposed to be restoring peace to the world, but you're anything but peaceful to be around! It's hard work just to exist in your vicinity. That is why I refuse to share a camp with you." He turned his head. "Feel free to camp with me and Uncle, Toph. I won't expect you to remake your entire personality and become the perfect smiley group member just for my comfort."
Katara looked stunned. "That's not it at all," Aang protested. "We tried to show you friendship and camaraderie, but you threw it back in our faces!"
"You didn't 'show' me anything, Avatar," Zuko snapped back. "You demanded. 'Zuko, do this. Zuko, do that. Hey Zuko, why don't you just learn an entire new skill that you've never practiced before in a single day?' If anyone's unreasonable and selfish, it's you."
"You're calling us unreasonable and selfish for not wanting you to constantly snap at everyone?!" Sokka snapped. "Now we've come full circle, just like the swamp yogi predicted."
"I only ever snapped at you because you were being jerks!" Zuko snarled.
"We literally never did that," Aang said, shoving a finger in his face. "Stop making up stuff that isn't true!"
"Stop ignoring what is!" Zuko slapped his hand away. "I never had a single friend before. I never belonged to a group where everybody looks out for each other no matter what. I had no idea what to do or say. And you had no patience for that. You expected me to be perfect at this friendship thing, and anytime I failed you rolled your eyes and glared. You are just as demanding as my father! He expected me to be the perfect prince, you expected me to be the perfect friend, and nobody at all had any room for anyone who was less than perfect!" He turned away, needing to hide the bolt of pain that went through him. Except Kalika. Why oh why did I leave the North Pole?
"Aang, stop," Katara said. "He has a point."
Tears came to Zuko's eyes. He blinked them away. Nobody ever had any room for me. His heart clenched. Toph could probably feel it from across the clearing.
"Zuko." Katara touched his hand. "I'm sorry."
He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't pull his hand away, but he didn't return her touch either. "It's really nice to know that any consideration I get is a special effort on your part. It's not normal, I have to ask for it, I have to justify myself before I'll get it, and as soon as I stop asking you'll go right back to the old ways. It's really great to feel like I'm unnatural and everything I want is twice as much of a burden." He pulled his hand away and left the clearing.
He found a nice tree to climb and sat in it. Alone in the darkness with the wind, he took off Kalika's necklace and ran the beads through his fingers. Nobody ever has room for me. Nobody cares. He closed his eyes and called up a mental image of her. He imagined Kalika smiling at him. He imagined her saying, It'll be alright, Lee. They're learning too. You need to have just as much patience with them. She smiled and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Nobody's perfect. Not even me. She laughed. Especially not me.
He opened his eyes and felt a lot better. He put on the necklace and came down from the tree, just in time to meet Toph. "Hey," she said. "I thought someone should get you before you were eaten by wolves." She was being just as sarcastic as usual, but he thought he heard unease in her voice.
"I feel better now," he said. "I knew one person who was patient with me and gave me just as much space as I wanted. Remembering her helped."
Toph didn't say anything. She turned away. "Sounds nice," he barely heard her murmur.
Zuko smiled as he followed her back to the clearing. I have a chance to make a difference for someone else who's like me. I won't waste it. He imagined Kalika beaming with joy. I won't let her down.