The Collecting Game
© Vanja Popovic 2023
Professor Severus Snape, former Death Eather, buried his emotions long ago. And since then, he never allowed them to see the light of day.
The Potion Classroom was dark and with no natural light. It always smelled different, based on what potion was currently brewing. Professor Snape was sitting in his chair behind the desk, reading the student's paperwork. From time to time, he would raise his eyes from papers so that he could keep a close look at certain female student. She was cleaning the cauldrons. While she was doing it, she hummed something, which annoyed him, but he tried to block the little noise that she was making.
" I just died in your arms tonight; it must have been something you said," her voice echoed in the classroom.
"I'm not interested in chatter. If you have a relevant comment, you may be assured of my attention. Otherwise, keep your witless platitudes to yourself, Miss Raven." that said, he went back to his reading.
She was amused; he was the most interesting person that she had come across, and she loved to observe him. He was a cold man with a stern look. Outside the classroom, he was a quiet man, and he usually didn't speak unless he was spoken to. He was strict and pretty authoritative, always easily annoyed by the loud students. And by the time she reached her seventh year at Hogwarts, she fell deeply in love with him. There was no chance for her to be with him; she knew that. But she just wanted something, anything. She couldn't have his love, but she could at least try to gain any emotion from him. That is why she tried hard to make him remember her. Even hate is better than him not having any feelings whatsoever towards her.
"I was just singing," she said. Professor Snape didn't even bother to take a look off of his papers.
"What a waste of time." He said, his voice flat. "Keep your singing to yourself." He added. She continued humming the melody, this time louder.
She was so annoying, and after a few minutes of her singing, he tried to quiet her.
"There will be no song-and-dance here, Miss Raven." he kept his voice flat. It was like he didn't even want to use his energy to talk. But she was curious. Curious about how long she could go with him today.
"Oh, but don't you just love this song?"
Still refusing to acknowledge her, he continued looking at his papers, but he did stop reading.
"If you are asking about my preference in music, I do not have any. Your obsession with song and dance is irritatingly tiresome. Focus on your work!"
Maybe just one more, and then she'll stop. For the first time in years, she was happy. This is the longest he has ever spoken to her. Well, speaking isn't quite the correct word, but she'll take what she can.
-" You and I, we were born to die. " She was pretty calm for someone who would soon be in great trouble. But this was worth it.
He stared at her for a moment, not knowing what exactly to say. " This is your best rejoinder to my previous statement? Your insolence is a challenge to my patience, and no student at this institution will behave in a manner that detracts from its prestige. This is not a rock concert. It is a classroom, and you are a student. Have I made myself clear?" Then, something risky crossed her mind. Without even thinking, she said, "Maybe I should consider joining the Death Eaters." The man in front of her stood there with a shocked face. Then his face changed to furious.
"And why, pray tell, would you say such a thing? They are traitors who willingly choose to align themselves with the Dark Lord. I do not suppose that you would be foolish enough to entertain such thoughts." He said.
"I would see you more." She said simply, knowing the consequences of her words. Professor Snape was completely flustered. His face was both shocked and furious.
"What? Why… why would you want to see me more? That is not the normal reaction that one might expect when discussing the Death Eaters…" he was confused, and she realized that she was getting something from him. That is why she decided to continue her little game.
"I can't think of any better reason." And that was true. She would join the Death Eaters if that meant seeing him more. She would go to Hell and beyond for him. Professor Snape was trying to calm himself down. He tried to understand what was happening.
"Umm… you are wrong. Death Eaters are not to be… to be idealized. They are not, uh," and then realization hit him. She was flirting with him. That must be it. "You must be misunderstanding me." He said, trying to find the right words.
"Don't worry about that, sir. Now, do tell me, where do I get that Dark Mark?" She said playfully. This was the first time in forever that Professor Snape was truly stunned and without words to say.
"I-I assure you, Miss Raven, that is not something you want. The Dark Lord, Voldemort, is not someone you would wish to align yourself with." He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself, "Please, I implore you to put these thoughts out of your head. You are young; do not ruin your prospects for a silly mistake." Emotions. She felt his emotions for the first time in seven years. And if she plays this right, he might show more of them.
"This is my last year at Hogwarts. Let me see, If I become Death Eater, I will get to see you. Also, I will get to annoy Voldy guy, so if you ask me, it's a win-win situation." Her voice was so calm, as if she was talking about buying a new dress. He was confused by her words. He didn't understand how she could speak so easily about this like it was nothing.
"Voldemort is a dangerous, murderous, soulless entity. There is no "fun" or "annoying" him." Professor Snape said this slowly, trying to make Raven realize her mistake. " Hi is a dark, vile villain who seeks to control and destroy. Do not do anything foolish."
"Oh, please! He's been trying to kill a bloody kid for the past many years, and he fails every single time. There is nothing scary about him." Raven spoke what she thought. She was never scared of Voldemort, and she always thought of him as incapable.
Professor Snape had a hard time understanding the student in front of him. At first, he thought that he didn't hear her right, but then the realization hit him. She was serious about this. His confusion turned into anger. He was losing his temper now.
"Miss Raven," he began, "that it is only a matter of time before one of Dark Lord's attempts succeeds. The idea that you would ever wish to be associated with Death Eters, even if only to attempt to "annoy" the Dark Lord, is profoundly disturbing. You should be grateful to have such a safe life in Hogwarts." this time he turned away from his student, trying to reign his anger. The atmosphere in the Potion Classroom begins to boil. In all these years, no one dared to talk back to the Potion Master like this. No one even dared to speak to him outside of the class, and definitely not in this manner. While the dark-haired professor tried to collect his thoughts and process this whole situation, Raven stood slightly leaning against the stone wall with a smirk on her face. She took one small lock of her long dark hair and placed it behind her ear, her dark green eyes looking at her professor.
"Did I annoy you, sir?"
"This entire conversation has been nothing but annoyance, Miss Raven. However, that is no excuse for your impertinence. Be grateful I am in a benevolent, forgiving mood today…" There was something about her today he couldn't understand. She was usually a quiet, unproblematic student. In these seven years of her being at Hogwarts, he never needed to send her to detention. She was a pretty smart young witch; her marks were remarkable, as were her behavior. Raven was one of the rare people who always showed him true respect; she didn't fear him, and based on this conversation, she didn't fear anything or anyone, he thought. That is why he struggled to understand why she acted like this today.
Raven, on the other hand, was happy and excited and, deep down, very grateful for this opportunity. Her favorite professor and her long-term crush finally noticed her.
"I'll take that as a yes, sir. Annoyance is sort of a feeling, after all, and that is much better than no feelings at all. Which means one point for me, sir." her face lighted with a smile. He was angry, but he was also a little amused. Her behavior was a riddle to him, and he loved riddles. That is why he was interested in playing this little game of hers.
"That is debatable. If you want to play this game, Miss, I must inform you that I'm quite capable of being an extremely unpleasant person. It would be in your best interest to drop this subject now before this escalates." he warned.
"Oh, but why would I?" she teased.
"Because I'm telling you to. In case you forgot, I am the teacher, and you are the student. I expect complete and total obedience and respect from each and every student. I will ask only once more: refrain from this idle conversation. They are a waste of everyone's time, especially my own." the annoyance in his voice was loud and clear, but there was something else, and she couldn't catch what that was. This was definitely not a waste of time for her. This was a gift and a long-waited conversation, and she enjoyed every second of it.
"They are not a waste of time, sir. You will understand it one day," she explained. There was something hidden in all of this; he just couldn't find out what.
"This is not a playground, Miss Raven." he looked at her with his cold, dark eyes. "You will either respect my boundaries or find yourself facing the consequences. Is that understood?" This was the turning point for her. Either she will end up in big trouble, or he will eventually accept her game. She was hoping for the second option.
"Sir, I spent seven years at Hogwarts quietly sitting and obeying everyone, but then I realized what life is without a little risk here and there." That was true; she did risk with this, but she was willing to.
For some reason, he couldn't act like he would usually do. If this was someone else, this conversation would have ended a long time ago. But this girl, this girl was something else, and he was losing his mind trying to understand what.
"You are nothing if not completely incorrigible, Miss Raven." he liked her name. It was unusual and interesting and somehow dark. It suited her well. Her hair was dark as a raven's feather. She was also stubborn and intelligent like one. " I am forced to wonder how you can even function with such a flippant mind. If it is "risk" you wish, I can assure you that you will not like the outcome of this game that you are playing."
"I'm willing to take the risk, sir."
There was a fire in his eyes now. "Very well then, if that is what you wish for, you will get it. Do keep in mind that this is no longer simply a harmless risk now." he begins to walk slowly toward her, his eyes locked on hers. "Don't say I did not warn you. You have taken it too far." Now, he was standing right in front of her. He was a lot taller than her, and she felt pretty petite beside him. At this moment, all she could see was him. The room around her slowly disappeared until there was only his body. She knew that she should feel scared, but she felt everything except fear. All the butterflies in her stomach started to fly around her body; there was no air in her lungs. All she could feel was a warm, strange feeling. Her heart was beating fast and loud, threatening to break her ribs and her skin.
"I'm not scared of you, sir. Quite the opposite." the voice came out much steadier than she thought it would be. Professor Snape leaned down, their faces now at level. His breath was tickling her skin, leaving warm marks on her face. There was a battle with herself inside her. She wanted to touch his face and feel his skin against her fingertips.
"Oh, but you should be." this was no louder than a whisper. "Do you have any idea who you are dealing with? Even the most learned magical minds are forced to admit my genius. And yet, you seem to think that you are somehow my equal. I want to know… how dare you?" There was harshness in his voice that made her shiver. There was no doubt in his words he was a genius. Brilliant. There was a saying that he knew more spells in his first year than most of the seventh-year students. She admired him.
"You are a genius; I never questioned that." He seemed slightly taken aback.
"Then by what justification do you dare to take such risks, Miss Raven? You cannot possibly hope to outmatch me."
"I do not want to outmatch you, sir. That is certainly not my intention." Raven explained. This girl continues to surprise him. The audacity she had was quite astonishing.
"Then what is your goal? Why are you so determined to irritate me?" This was a genuine question that required an answer.
"I do have my reasons, sir." her answers and the way she talked, always short, always determined, drove him crazy. What is it with this girl?
"I demand that you tell me those reasons." surprisingly, he did manage to hide that there was a mess in his mind. Throughout this whole conversation, he didn't show any sign of interest or amusement; at least, he thought so. However, the girl in front of him did see those signs, and that was exactly what kept her going.
"I am sorry, sir, but my reasons are to stay hidden." Well, she could just confess to him, but that was an instant death sentence, even she wasn't that desperate. She kept an eye on him all the time, watching his every movement, noticing even the smallest changes in his expression. There was a special folder in her mind where she kept all of them, waiting for the right moment to use them.
The man finally lost his patience. He moved a step back, but then, at instance, he was right in front of her again.
"I am your professor, and your motives, intentions, whatever, are my property." he growled, his voice becoming louder, "I demand that you tell me, at once, the reasons for this nonsense!" Oh, she did hit the nerve now, and for the first time ever, she was slightly scared of him. This is probably the best moment for her to pull back.
"As much as I have deep respect for you, Professor Snape, you do not own me. No one owns me. Therefore, I am no one's property, nor are my motives and intentions." and there she was, her mouth faster than her brain. She will never go out of this alive. He will unalive her. Definitly. He was shaking with fury. He faced many hopeless situations, stood in front of the Dark Lord, and lied to his face countless times without even blinking. And yet he was he was shaking with anger and fury in front of his student. This girl lost her mind, and she was taking him down with her.
"I devoted my efforts, my time, and my patience to guide and educate you. And you have the absolute nerve to refuse to answer me? How long shall you play these stupid, childish, senseless games with me? Answer. My. Question."
"What game? I do not play games. I hate games, to be honest." In reality, she did play a game, a game of death, it appears. Well, at least she could try to make it less painful.
Why didn't he already kill her, he asked himself.
"Don't play stupid with me, Miss. I wish to know at once why you feel that it is acceptable to be so disobedient, so belligerent. You must have a reason, and you will tell it."
Oh, how she wished to sit down now. She could feel her legs melting. Will he strangle her if she walks past him and sits on a chair? Yes. Yes, he will.
"As I already said, I don't play." Lie. "Why do you care about my reasons?" Now, she started to question her sanity. Maybe she did lose her marbles. Death was smiling and waving at her. His eyes wide open, he was completely and utterly beside himself.
"I… I care because I dedicated my life to this institution, to educate and train the students." He was struggling to maintain his composure. "However, it would seem that you take advantage of this by engaging in meaningless and frivolous conversations. Above all, you have the nerve to act as if my authority is of no concern. In short… I care because I am your professor."
He cares? Officially, she was mental. Because, now, every atom in her wanted to continue this. And just like that, she went on with her game.
"This is a second point for me, sir. You care." Professor Snape sighed and then closed his eyes; it was clear that he was on the edge.
"I cannot fathom what you think you have "gained" from this interaction, Miss Raven. You have achieved nothing other than my growing disdain. You cannot expect me to teach a student that is so blatantly disrespectful. Is this truly how you wish your education at Hogwarts to play out?" One of his eyebrows raised while he was finishing his statement.
Raven was a bright girl, and she knew that if this didn't end up like she hoped it would, it would really be the end of her education and probably her life. But what did she want from this, she asked herself. His love? No, she could just dream about that. Then what? His rage? She was quiet for a few moments while her mind was trying to figure out what it was that she really wanted. Then she realized. She wanted him to remember her. Good or bad, but she wanted to make some impression, hoping that he would keep her somewhere in his mind. So far, she has done a good job. He was feeling something. Nothing positive, but it was something.
"I gained two of your emotions, sir. Which is far more than I had an hour ago." here goes nothing.
Confusion was written on his face.
"And those emotions are…?"
"Annoyance and care, sir. For now."
"Well," he tried to think what he should say, "I… I suppose that this is a minor achievement." he had to give her that. She did manage to awaken those two emotions in him. And he had to be careful not to allow her to proceed with this. "If, however, you have exhausted your desire to gain my annoyance, I would greatly appreciate it if you would behave in a more suitable manner. I do not want to waste any more time with your little game of… of emotional collection."
"As I already said, sir. Those emotions are still emotions. And that is better than feeling nothing." There was something in her eyes, and he noticed it. Something he could not define, but it was there. A few moments later, he catches himself staring at her.
"Very well, Miss Raven. Since you have managed to achieve your goal, can you now drop the useless conversation and allow me to continue with my work?" But he was wrong. She was nowhere near reaching her goal.
"Sir, I did not achieve my goal. I gained only two, and there are so many more emotions." Raven explained.
He was becoming upset, "Then what, pray tell, is your goal, Miss Raven? This must be of great importance. So what is this goal of yours?" Her professor was curious, and she saw it.
"Curiosity. That is a third point, sir." Raven stated proudly. The house that she was sorted in was Slytherin, and that surely was clear every time she spoke. She was proud, and she was ambitious.
"Don't toy with me, Miss. I am not an experiment for your amusement. What is your goal in attempting to elicit these feelings from me?" he raised his voice this time. He was angry, more with him than her. He allowed himself this; he let her do this, and he didn't understand why or how. "You cannot play with someone's emotions without a justification. I'm asking you to provide me with that justification." Playing with his emotions? Raven was quite offended by this. And she intended to show that.
"Do not insult me, sir. I would never play with your emotions!" Maybe she was over the line with all this, but she would not stay quiet about these accusations.
He just stood there looking at her, "It seems I must make myself crystal clear. What is the purpose of your nonsense? Give me a reason, an explanation, for I am beginning to have my doubts. How can you justify this idle banter?" there was a fire in his eyes, and it was burning her skin with excitement. There was that feeling again. Her fingertips needed his skin. She wanted to touch him, and she was fighting the urge to do that.
"Total five points. Anger and frustration." his eyes widened when he saw her smiling proudly. He was livid, and he was at his wits' end. There is no way that he will let this slide. What was wrong with her? What is with this behavior?
"I demand! This is no longer a game." there was a tremble in his voice. "What purpose can you possibly hope to achieve by this… this meaningless back and forth?!" Raven chuckles at this.
"Back and forth? I don't think there were any backs, sir. From what I see, we're only going forth." there was that smile again.
"I do not… I am…" he stopped and sighed. "I give up! I do not understand you… I do not understand your actions… I do not understand how I possibly can have a student this… this…" his mind was searching for the right word, "annoying. I am absolutely and completely at a loss; it cannot be comprehended. I give up, you win. I can't see what is your goal. I will never know, and I am sure I don't want to know. I give up…" his mind and body was exhausted, he slumped into his chair, absolutely at loss.
He thought that he could give up now? She questioned. Wrong. Now, she was more determined than ever.
"You are not someone who gives up. We both know that, sir." There was nothing that could stop this now.
"Of course, you are correct, Miss." A small, subtle, and tired smile appeared on his face. The butterflies in her body went wild. Raven wanted to hug him so bad right now that she had to cross her arms. He smiled! For all these years, not once did she see him smiling. And now… now all of her prayers were answered. It was worth it. Every second was worth it. Then he spoke again, "That is another flaw of mine. I must know. I have a thirst for knowledge. I must know why you are doing this. There must be a reason. You must have gained something from this. You must have a purpose. I will have to know…" his voice was soft and almost a whisper.
"Indeed, I have gained something from this," she admitted. "It is very special and dear to me, sir." Now, her voice was a whisper. He raised his eyebrow, "I am forced to wonder why are you so unwilling to share whatever it is you have gained, Miss Raven?"
"It is something very important, sir. And I will protect it with my life." It was true; nothing else was as important as this was. No one else. For most of her life, she was alone, and there was no one that she cared for except this man.
It was her third year at Hogwarts when she fell for him. Raven remembered that day like it was yesterday. She was sitting in the corner of the library. Her knees and hands scraped, and there was a bump on her forehead. One of the other students decided that it would be funny to push her down the stairs. After she fell, she collected her things and walked to the library. It was her safe place. It was quiet and not so crowded. She was reading her favorite book, trying to escape reality. That's when he showed up. Professor Snape was always stern-looking, but he always cared for his snakes. At that moment, he was the gentlest human that she had ever met. When he saw her condition, he approached her. After asking her if he could sit beside her, she nodded. They spoke a lot that evening, and then he cleaned her wounds and walked her to her dorm. After that, she started to observe him. And slowly, she fell in love with him. Four years had passed since then, and her love was only deeper. He was not an easily lovable man. He had his flaws and moments, but to her, he was everything. From that day on, he became her safe place and the only home that she knew.
Her eyes were warm when he looked at her. "With your life, Miss Raven? You have never been afraid to speak your mind or express your thoughts in the past. Why are you being so apprehensive now?" Raven wanted to confess her feelings, but she couldn't just inform him about it. She wanted to, but part of her was scared. Scared of rejection.
"Because it is something I deeply care for." There was nothing else that she could say.
"And what precisely is this something? You have alluded to its importance many times, but you have never disclosed this "something". Is it a secret?" There was a gentleness in his voice.
"Sixth point, my good sir. Gentleness."
"I am curious. You say that this "something" is of great importance… I must assume that it is of personal significance. Is it a secret? Perhaps a love or a dream?" now he was just thinking out loud.
"Maybe I'll tell you one day, sir." And maybe she will.
"You will… maybe, possibly tell me one day? You don't understand what that does to me, Miss Raven. I wish I could tell that my curiosity toward this "something" is of little concern to me, but I cannot. I feel as if this is something I must learn. You brought your score to a full six. What is this "something" worth six emotions?" This man didn't talk much, but when he talked, he talked. The curiosity in him rose to the point where he couldn't stop now, even if he wanted to.
This girl was something. It's been a long since someone interested him this much. He couldn't explain it to himself, but he needed an answer. He wanted to know more than anything. And then there was this feeling, the way she looked at him, the way she talked, it awoke something in him. Now, he had his "something," too.
"It's worth much more than six emotions, sir." Merlin's beard! He sighed and placed his head in his hands.
"This is like pulling teeth. You have managed to collect six emotions from me, each in turn… this "something" of yours must be of great importance for you to hide it when it has elicited six emotions from me. So, please… for my sake… what is this thing you are keeping from me?" DID HE SAY PLEASE? Well, that was new.
"Maybe one day, sir." was all she said.
"This is rather infuriating. You really are trying my patience. I have a right to know what has managed to draw such an intense reaction from me. So, I say, once more, tell me now what this "something" is." Raven just smiled and shook her head.
This girl is unbelievable, Professor Snape thought to himself. She isn't scared of him, not that she ever was. And the way her eyes shined every time he looked at her, he never wanted to stop. The color of her eyes was so beautiful and deep; they looked like someone placed emeralds in her skull. Her hair was dark as raven's, stunning. Maybe that is how she got her name? She was a tiny creature with skin as white as snow. She looked like a porcelain doll. He could break her with his bare hands if he wished. But he had to admit that all he wanted to do was to shield her, protect her from the world. He wanted to keep her for himself, hide her, so that no one could ever lay a hand on her. Above all, he just wanted to listen to her voice, even her annoying singing, and that made him smile. Something warm started to spread through his body from the place where his heart was. He didn't feel this was since… since Lily, and that bloody scared him.
"Why do you insist on keeping it a secret? No one ever managed to do what you did. You collected my emotions, thoughts, and reactions. I believe I'm entitled to this information. I think you know that."
Maybe he was? After all, this was something that did include him. He was the person she had those feelings for. The thought of confessing made her shiver. She couldn't do it. Her pride would be destroyed, and she could never look in his eyes again. But if he could guess, that… that would make this easier for her. And maybe he got closer to figuring this out.
"You are on a good path, sir. If you keep thinking like this, maybe you will guess it before I tell you." There goes nothing.
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Raven, what am I in for?" BLOODY HELL, HE JUST CALLED ME BY MY NAME, Raven screamed in her head. "My mind is racing with possibilities of what your "something" could be. It is a secret. Important secret. And I feel like this secret is the reason for your actions today." His mind was like a clock mechanism now, working without a break, trying to find out the truth. "But you keep refusing to explain your own actions, and…." Then, something happened inside his mind, and all of the pieces fell into place. The realization hit him. He finally understood. "I think I know what your "something" is." His voice was full of hope.
"Seventh. Hope." Raven said proudly.
"Seven emotions… I think I know the answer. Is it what I think it is? That thing?" The man was excited to finally know the answer.
"The thing, sir? What thing?" She asked innocently, even tho she knew what the "thing" was.
He took a deep breath before continuing. "I think you know what I want to say. Is your "something" a secret your holding regard… a boy?"
Is that what a normal person would think? A boy? She could never. They were so childish, so… not her type.
"Not a boy, sir." She had to admit, she was a little offended by this. Did he really think that she would fall for a boy? Not in this life.
"A man?!" He was shocked. And that was obvious. "You like a man, Miss Raven? You have a crush on a grown man?" Disappointing. We're back at Miss Raven, she thought.
"And what would that have to do with me collecting your emotions, sir?" She decided to help him a bit.
"That is my point! It would explain your odd behaviour. You're in love!" there was a relief on her face. He finally understood what was going on. "May I guess his name?" Wow, he turned into Dumbledore, Raven thought. No wonder they spend a lot of time together; they probably gossip about everything and everyone. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.
"Keep up, sir."
"Is the object of your admiration..." he stopped to think for a second, "Professor Lockhart?" All of the girls had a crush on that idiot. And he was really hoping that she wasn't one of them.
Raven narrowed her eyebrows in confusion. How did he even come up with that guy?
"Amm, no. I usually forget that he exists." Clever girl, Professor Snape smirked. Then who could it be? Then, something scary crossed his mind.
"Professor Lupin?" he whispered.
Wow, will he mention Dumbledore next, Raven thought? She wondered how many takes it would take him to realize that it was him.
"For the love of God, no." She laughed. It was probably the most beautiful thing he ever heard. Suppose he could just stay in this moment forever. So it isn't Lupin. Then who? His mind was back to thinking, but there was no one else that he could think of.
"I am lost at this point. I cannot figure it out… Who do you love, Miss Raven?" This was probably the most confused and baffled that he had ever been in his life. "Why are you so stubborn? I thought I was the only one unwilling to share a thing…" There were things that he wanted to share. He just didn't have anyone who could be trusted enough. That was a sad truth. He would willingly share his secrets with the right person.
"I do look up at you, sir."
He was so close, she could feel it in her bones. Her heart was beating like crazy, her mouth was dry, and she was fighting for air.
"You are the only one who is capable of forcing emotions out of me in this manner. I don't understand why, but you are making me feel more than anyone I have known. I have never felt so alive. My mind is at work, thinking, questioning, pondering… for the first time in a while. What have I found in you?" This was not something he planned to say out loud, but it just happened. What did she do to him?
I made him feel alive? I did it. I made him feel! Raven was proud of herself, and she was happy. All she ever wanted was to make him feel something. She finally reached her goal. Now he will remember her, always. She will be the girl who made him feel something. There was nothing she could say; her emotions took over her, and not a single word could leave her mouth.
Professor Snape looked at her; she was quiet, but her face was full of mixed emotions. She stayed quiet. But everything was written on her face. That was the first time he could read her thoughts and feelings just by looking at her. He was wrong. It was not his mind that should know the answer. It was his heart. The heart that beat loud and clear in his chest. And he thought that he would never feel its beating like this again.
"You have a secret, something that you cannot share with me… Who am I to you, Raven?" Her name came so naturally on his lips. It was like he was always meant to say it. The feeling in his chest warmed his whole body. He was looking at her, waiting for her confession.
She could feel tears collecting in her eyes. All of her feelings gathered there. After all these years, she was finally at the right place. This was what she had always wanted, what she had been dreaming of. He finally asked her, and she could finally answer.
"Everything, sir." The answer was easy because he was that. He was everything to her.
Professor Snape stopped breathing for a moment. Did he hear her right?
"I… am… everything to you?" he repeated her answer, just to make sure.
"Everything." She nodded.
If he thought that his mind was going to explode before, he was wrong. It was going to explode now, not just his mind but also his heart.
"I don't know what to say…" he was still processing everything that happened.
"Did you understand why I collected your emotions, sir?"
"I think I did. You do not wish for me to know about your feelings until you are sure I can express mine. Did I get it right?" His face had a worm smile, and his black eyes were filled with happiness. He stood up from his chair and started to walk towards her.
"No, that wasn't the reason." Raven smiled softly. "I care about you deeply, sir. I thought you would never have any feelings or emotions towards me, and I didn't want that. So, I decided to get some emotion from you. Even if it isn't love, I would still have something yours."
He put one lock of her hair behind her ear, slowly caressing her cheek.
"You wanted to have even just a single emotion from me?" He asked softly, and then he smiled.
"I told you, sir. Any emotion is better than having no emotion whatsoever." While he was standing so close, she just prayed that he wouldn't hear her heart pounding like a maniac.
He leaned his forehead on hers, never breaking the eye contact.
"Thank you." He whispered. He lifted his head just so that he could kiss her forehead.
"Always." Raven lifted her hand and placed it on his chest, right where his heart was beating.
Professor Severus Snape, former Death Eather, buried his emotions for a long time. Until one day, his Raven came and released them. He never looked back again.