For over eighty years, Beacon Academy's majestic, sunlit cliffs had served as the starting ground for the aspiring huntresses and huntsmen of tomorrow. The Emerald Forest, far below, had borne witness to the beginnings of countless indomitable, unbreakable teams that had gone on to shape history. After all, the prestigious and storied Beacon Academy only accepted and produced the best of the best.
Too bad every single member of this year's class was destined to fail Beacon's Initiation.
"For years, you have trained to become warriors," Headmaster Ozpin said to the twelve assembled teenagers. "Today, your abilities will be evaluated in the Emerald Forest."
"Now, I'm sure many of you have heard rumors about the assignment of teams," Professor Goodwitch said from next to Ozpin. "Well, allow us to put an end to your confusion. Each of you will be given teammates. Today."
"These teammates will be with you for the rest of your time here at Beacon," Ozpin continued. "So it is in your best interest that you be paired with someone with whom you work well. That being said, the first person you make eye contact with after landing will be your partner for the next four years."
"What?" Ruby, the youngest of the class, whined. She shot a glance over at Yang, her older sister, who winked back at her. I'll find you, Yang mouthed at Ruby.
"See? I told you!" Nora said with a smile, leaning into Ren. To any outsider, it would seem as if the two were already partners, if not more than that.
"After you have paired up, make your way into the northern end of the forest," Ozpin said. "You will meet opposition along the way. Do not hesitate to destroy everything in your path, or you will die."
"Heheh," Jaune gulped, shifting his legs. No experience, no Aura, a stolen weapon. Could such a boy really pass Initiation?
"You will be monitored and graded for the duration of your Initiation," Ozpin continued, "but our instructors will not intervene. You will find an abandoned temple at the end of the path containing several relics. Each pair must choose one and return to the top of the cliff. You will guard that item as well as your standing and we will grade you appropriately. Are there any questions?"
"Yeah, uh, sir?" Jaune asked.
"Good!" Ozpin plowed on. "Now, take your positions." He pressed the big red Launch button on his scroll.
"Uh, sir?" Jaune said. "I've got a—"
And then all at once, all twelve platforms exploded, catapulting the twelve first years into the air simultaneously.
"—QUESTIONnnnnn!" Jaune screeched.
As the twelve teens collided midair above the forest, Ozpin frowned and sipped his coffee calmly. "They were supposed to launch one at a time," he mused. "Hmm."
Glynda could only watch with horror.
…
Jaune spun end over end, sky and earth blurring together, his breakfast sloshing angrily in his stomach. He smacked into someone, hard, and instinctively he wrapped his arms around them, eyes clenched shut.
"What are you doing!?" Jaune heard his security blanket- er- savior, growl. He opened his eyes into the armored chest of a large, auburn-haired boy. They were still midair, spinning, hundreds of feet above the ground.
Jaune gulped and clung to the boy tighter. "Save meeee!"
Angry sparks seemed to jump in the boy's eyes. "Get off me, wimp!" A flaming mace came out of nowhere and slammed into Jaune's ribs. Suddenly, he was flying again and all his air fled his lungs. His consciousness flickered and he felt oddly… warm.
The last thing he saw was a blur of white.
…
Yang somehow ended up in the middle of it all. First, she careened into Russell and Thrush, sending the two boys crashing into the trees below.
Attempting to correct her landing, she discharged her gauntlets once to right herself, but she smacked right into… what was his face… Dove? Her sunglasses cracked from the collision. Before she could react, he shoved her away and she was spinning uncontrollably again.
Her hair burst alight. She'd had enough. "GET OUT OF MY WAY!" She screamed, punching a pink girl hurtling towards her with all her strength, sending the girl flying way out over the east side of the forest. However, she missed the green-clad boy right behind the girl, who shoulder-checked her right into the trees.
Yang hit just about every branch on the way down, landing in the dirt face-first. Wincing, she pulled her broken sunglasses off her face as the green-clad boy crashed to the ground next to her.
She glared at him, hair still burning, until he looked up and met her gaze. She watched him gulp in fear. Good. She would've smirked, but she was still too angry. "Great start, partner," she said dryly. "Great start."
…
Pyrrha narrowly dodged several of her peers midair, altering their trajectories ever so slightly with her Polarity so that they didn't hit her. Where was Jaune? Her eyes scanned the chaos around her, but she couldn't spot him.
"AAAaAaA!" Faster than she could blink, Jaune hurtled by, wreathed in flame, clotheslining Weiss off her glyphs. The pair tumbled down into the forest below.
Pyrrha cursed her misfortune. Okay, just as you practiced, she told herself. Right your trajectory, land in a manner that allows you to face any enemy that might pounce while you're vulnerable.
She grabbed a branch and used her momentum to swing around it. She landed on one knee and drew Miló in rifle form in one smooth motion, scanning the treetops for Grimm.
Two treetops away, she saw a tall lanky boy in armor waving at her with a too-large smile. She'd never seen the boy before in her life.
"My name's Dove!" the boy hollered across the treetop that separated them. "I can't believe my luck! I've wanted to meet you for so long, and now we're partners? I won't let you down, I promise!"
Pyrrha's heart sank.
…
Ruby shot past all the chaos, a blur of rose petals. "Just land, just land, gotta find Yang, gotta find Yang," she told herself out loud as she aimed her trajectory out east over the forest.
She descended quickly and spun herself down through the trees, and she was proud that she only stumbled twice over the flat ground as she came to a stop. She couldn't wait to tell Yang! She hadn't fallen on her face, as Yang had so cruelly predicted the night before. She had normal knees!
Something burned bright above her, streaking by faster than she could see. Was that a… meteor?
BOOM! The earth rattled from the impact of whatever it was, sending Ruby falling back onto her butt.
Her face scrunched into a pout. She hurriedly got to her feet and wiped the mud off the back of her skirt. That meteor, Grimm, whatever it was—it would pay! She used her Semblance to shoot through the trees to the site of the impact.
To her surprise, at the bottom of the massive, smoking crater was a girl in pink. Nora, Ruby thought her name was.
And Monty, she did not look happy! Ruby gulped and waved awkwardly at her new partner.
Nora only glared back.
…
"Ugh…" Weiss moaned, consciousness slowly returning to her. "What… happened?" She got to her knees, gripping Myrtenaster for support. Then, she remembered a flash of blond. "You absolute buffoon!" Weiss screeched as her eyes snapped open to search for the ruination of her time so far at Beacon. "First you hit on me, and now—"
She stammered to a halt. Jaune was facedown in the dirt in a pool of his own blood. And he wasn't moving.
A beat. Then, she dashed forward, fingers pressing against his neck. A pulse. Weak. "You fool," she murmured. "You don't even have Aura?"
How had this boy even been allowed to attempt Initiation?
She shook her head. Those questions came later. She pulled out her Scroll and checked her Aura. She'd lost almost 40% from the fall alone. Not for the first time, she cursed her small Aura reserves. Hopefully, it would still be enough to activate Jaune's Aura and save his life.
Weiss held her hands over Jaune's body. "For it is in rebellion that we achieve immortality," she murmured. "Through this, we become a destroyer of sin, infinite in meaning beyond even death. I release your soul, and by my shoulder, embolden thee."
Jaune's body flared with Aura, repairing his broken skin and bones immediately. Weiss gasped at the blinding light and felt herself lurch as her own Aura was drained to nothing.
The boy groggily stirred and pushed himself up. He seemed disoriented and confused. His baby blue eyes met hers. "You… saved me?"
Weiss gave him a tired smile, relieved. "Yes. I unlocked your Aura." Her annoyance returned to her. "You have a lot of it, somehow." The world just wasn't fair.
Suddenly, Jaune's face turned bright green.
The memory of the Bullhead ride to Beacon came back to her in an instant. She scrambled away from him. "Don't—"
She was too late.
"Thank you," Jaune said, or tried to say, anyway. As the first word left his mouth, noxious puke shot out of his throat like a fire hose and drenched the heiress from head to toe.
A beat of silence. Then, everyone in the Emerald Forest, human and Grimm alike, winced at the sound of the heiress's piercing screech.
…
Far above, back up on the cliffs, Ozpin grimaced as Weiss's screech rattled in his eardrums. He took a sip of coffee and closed his eyes for a long moment, still processing the disaster he'd just witnessed.
Finally, he turned to Glynda. "Perhaps we should rethink the way we do Initiation next year," Ozpin said, even-toned.
Glynda facepalmed.
…
A/N: Complete crack-fic, obviously. I was rewatching Volume 1 recently, and during Initiation I thought, 'what are the worst teams that could've possibly been formed if things went a bit differently?' I thought about it for a bit and came up with team BWWA, or "Banana," and I couldn't stop giggling. Thus, I started writing this train wreck. I do have genuine character arcs planned, but very little outlined in terms of plot. We'll see where the story goes from here. Don't expect super consistent updates.