Chapter 45 - Flying

They spent the next week in Spain. One of Jon's uncles owned a water side lodge and a large share of a sailing school. A week course, plus food and lodging, would have cost them thousands each; a twenty-minute phone call between Jon and his uncle six weeks ago, explaining the situation, had scored them the whole deal for free.

Jon himself had never spent much time on a sailboat, but with Shawn's enjoyment of other water activities, Jon figured it would be up his alley. Worst case scenario, if Shawn didn't take to sailing, Jon could other find things for them to do in Mallorca. Supposedly they had some pretty cool caves.

As soon as they got on board, the instructor handed out handbooks that were more like textbooks, and Jon's heart sank. He'd miscalculated—Shawn wouldn't be having this. He held his breath, waiting for Shawn's jabs about not wanting to do homework over the summer to kick in.

But by the time they were released for their first break of the day, Shawn hadn't said anything to that effect at all. On the contrary, he muttered under his breath, "Hey, if they'd given us books this thick when they did the scuba class, maybe we wouldn't have been in so much trouble." Jon rolled his eyes.

When they actually started practicing, Jon had to keep an eye on Shawn to make sure his arm was doing okay. Even something as simple as checking the lines or hoisting the sails could take some arm strength. Shawn seemed to be doing fine, but Jon couldn't stop watching him.

One nice thing about the lodge and sail school was that a lot of other families seemed to have brought their kids out here for the summer—there were quite a few teenagers around, and when Jon, Ashley, and Shawn went to sit down for dinner on the first night in the dining hall, a couple of guys Shawn's age invited him to sit at their table with some of their friends. Shawn looked to Jon for permission—Jon nodded, and Shawn took off, leaving Jon with Ashley.

"That'll be good for him," Ashley said.

"I think so, too," Jon said. He kept an eye on the table where Shawn had gone to sit, but they all just seemed like ordinary kids on vacation, so Jon let himself enjoy the meal with Ashley.

But the best part came a few days in, when they each got a chance to practice actually sailing. Jon quickly realized that Shawn had taken to this the same way he had taken to driving. Wind whipping through his hair, skin glowing with sun and sea spray and sweat and rapture, Shawn let out a whoop of pure joy, and Jon knew he must have felt like he was flying, a feeling he deserved and needed more than anything.

Their last day in Spain was also Ashley's last day in Europe. Jon should have known what Shawn was going to try to do, but even as well as he knew the kid, it caught him off guard.

The morning of, Shawn came up to Jon in the common area of the lodge with a twinkle in his eye that Jon knew meant trouble. "Hey, Jon, there's a . . . thing, today."

Jon raised his eyebrows. "What kind of thing?"

"I . . . might have met a girl . . . and she invited me on her dad's boat."

Jon shook his head. "When. How did you meet a girl?"

Shawn raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, just because you've taken a vow of dateless existence doesn't mean I have."

"Doesn't answer my question, Hunter."

"She works here, at the lodge. But today's her day off. So . . ."

"Who is she?"

"Her name is Tara. Her dad is, like, a rich businessman or something."

"When did you even talk to her?"

"Yesterday. But we really hit it off."

"We've got our final sail today."

"I know, I know. But . . . you and Ashley should still go." He gave Jon a pointed look.

Jon crossed his arms.

Shawn groaned. "Have you two even kissed yet?"

"We agreed to put our relationship on hold until things were straightened out with you."

"Why?"

"Because . . ." Jon threw up his hands. "Fine. Be back by six for dinner. Go hang out with that girl, what's-her-name."

"Tara," Shawn said, and he grinned and took off.

Ashley came to meet Jon a minute later. "Where's Shawn?" she asked.

"In his usual fashion, he's come up with an elaborate plan to leave us alone together."

"I see." She held out her hand. "Throw him a bone?"

"Why not," Jon said, and he took her hand and led her out of the lodge. He didn't have to glance behind himself to imagine the look on Shawn's face.

They took a light, easy sail, on a boat that fit just the two of them, staying within sight of the instructor but not necessarily in earshot. The sun hung high in a sky clear blue save a few wispy clouds, and a light breeze from the ocean kept the warm air from burning.

While the instructor was helping others, Ashley sat down on the boat, staring out at the horizon. She held her knees lightly with both hands, and her eyes fluttered closed.

Her skin, her eyes, her hair, all looked so soft. Jon sat beside her, and it was all he could do not to put his arm around her.

She leaned back and looked over at him. "When are you going to tell Shawn about the TPR?"

Jon smiled wryly. "No chance you wanna do it for me?"

She half laughed and landed a light punch to his arm.

"Yeah, didn't think so."

"He knows it's coming, Jon. He's going to want to hear it from you."

"Maybe."

"He might think it already happened. What does he know about how all the court stuff works?"

Jon hadn't really thought about that. If he didn't know, he might have assumed Chet's rights were terminated the minute he walked out of the courtroom the last time they were there together.

"Talk to him," Ashley said. "I don't think you give him enough credit."

"And what am I supposed to say to him?"

"You have to ask him if he wants you to adopt him."

"I know the answer to that."

"Do you?"

Jon lowered his head.

"Jon, you'll never know if you don't ask."

"He wants to go home to his dad."

"He knows he can't. He's had all summer to process that."

Jon was having a hard time putting words to what was on his mind. "I guess . . . I just pictured adoption differently."

"How did you picture it?"

"I . . . honestly, I'd hoped it could be a good thing. I mean, it's the creation of a new family, right? Like . . ."

"Like a wedding."

Something about the way she said it set his heart pounding. He swallowed hard.

"Hey."

He turned to look at her, and she looked him in the eye.

"This story has a happy ending."

The words burned. "Far as Shawn's concerned, his story ended at that court hearing."

"He's sixteen. What does he know?"

Jon half smiled.

Ashley shifted, looking toward the horizon again. "Okay, then. That story had a bad ending. But you're writing a new story now, and this one..."

"This one has a happy ending? You believe that?"

"I don't know." She smiled gently and took his hand. "But it sure has a happy beginning."

Suddenly he couldn't stop looking at her.

Ashley's eyes glistened. "I love you, Jonathan. I love Shawn. If he's going to be a part of your life forever, I want to be there. And if not . . . I want to cry with you. I don't want you to go back to being alone."

His eyes stung, and he pulled her in close, wrapping both arms around her, breathing in the scent of her hair.

She held tightly to him, her hand cradling the back of his head, then she let go and looked up at him. "You know our whole idea of...waiting until everything is straightened out with Shawn, before thinking about us?"

"Yeah?"

"It sucks."

He let out a loud laugh, cupped her face in his hand, and kissed her deeply.