"Mr. Harkness, always a pleasure to see you," the general said as the two walked through the door of the U.N.I.T headquarters.
"Captain," Jack corrected him. "I wish I could say the same." This comment clearly made the general uncomfortable. "This is my colleague Ianto Jones."
"Pleasure to meet you," the general said, shaking Ianto's hand. "Right this way."
The two followed the man down the hall to a room lined with archival boxes. It reminded Ianto quite a bit of his own archives. One of the archivists handed Ianto a box, informing the two that a report of their findings was inside with the artifact. He thanked her for it and turned towards Jack.
"You're behind on the forms we sent you," The general said as they walked back towards the entrance. "Is the paperwork for this one going to get here at some point?"
"We've been incredibly busy," Jack said. "Unlike you all, we don't have all the time in the world to sit down and do paperwork all day."
"I've seen your expense reports. I think you could waste a little less time eating takeaway at work and find some to do your job," the general said, his tone shifting. He stopped the two of them a few meters from the door
"Wasting time?" Jack responded with a laugh. "Some of our jobs don't have an end time. Tell me, how was your trip to the states last month? I had a great time when I went there on vacation… 43 years ago. Where did you stay? I could use some recommendations for the next time I take some time off in maybe another 25?"
Ianto stood there and watched the two get into a pissing match over nothing. He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms. It wasn't the first time he'd watched this exact situation go down between Jack and someone from U.N.I.T. It was usually over the phone, not in person, but it seemed about the same on Jack's end. He just watched for a while as Jack worked himself up and the general turned red in the face.
Despite their unfortunate need to work together at times, U.N.I.T had never respected Torchwood. As a result, Jack never respected U.N.I.T. Martha was an exception, though Ianto could only imagine that a part of him gritted his teeth as he feigned excitement for her the first time he found out she had joined their operation. The interactions between the operations were always tense, and Ianto was usually left to clean up the resulting stressed out captain by whatever means necessary. He already knew that this would be his job once again in only a matter of minutes.
Ianto tried to think for a moment of an excuse he could use to convince Jack to give it up and leave, but he couldn't think of anything clever. Instead, he just decided to say, point blank, "Jack, I want to leave. Can we please just go?"
Jack looked over at him, his scowl fading slowly. He looked back at the general. "You lot aren't worth the effort. I'll get you your paperwork when I get to it." With that, he looked at Ianto and nodded his head in the direction of the door, following close behind him. The general stayed where he was and watched the two leave. His face was still red and his body language tense.
"They've always got some fucking shit to say," Jack yelled the second they walked out the door. "It can never just be an in and out."
"I know," Ianto responded.
"I've worked my ass off for Torchwood for decades… hell, longer than that. I rebuilt that shit from the ground up. They have the fucking nerve to come into an organization that's been around for a quarter of the time, be there for a year, and think they own the universe." The two got in the SUV. Jack was loud and angry, and Ianto could tell his mind was reeling. "They do fuck all and then feel they have a right to dictate how we do things just because they disperse the fucking money." He was short on breath. "They even-"
Ianto cut him off by putting a hand on his knee. "Jack, I know they're fucking idiots, but we're done with them now." He started to rub his hand back and forth on his knee and thigh. "You can't let them get to you. Let's just go home."
Jack took a big breath to calm himself down. Ianto could tell his mind was still reeling, though. "Hey," he said again. "I know you're the captain." He grabbed Jack's jaw gently in his hand. "I know who's in charge. Doesn't that help at all?" He pulled Jack to his lips.
"Yeah, I think it does," Jack whispered as he kissed Ianto. "You better know who's in charge."
Ianto continued to rub his hand up and down Jack's thigh; his hand slowly moving higher up. "Let's take the long way home," he said, making Jack grin.
Jack turned on the radio quietly and leaned over and kissed Ianto again. Their lips fit together beautifully. The stubble on Jack's face lightly scratched against Ianto's smooth face, but it was not uncomfortable. Ianto liked the texture and friction it produced, as it was stimulating to his senses. Ianto tilted his head up slightly, almost grasping at Jack's lips. Jack happily obliged to his physical request, pushing his mouth tighter against the other man's.
As they sat in the SUV in the parking lot of the U.N.I.T headquarters, Jack gently bit at Ianto's lips playfully. It made Ianto smile into their kisses. "I bet you every last one of them in there is jealous of me right now," Ianto whispered into the nape of Jack's neck.
"Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" Jack asked with a grin as he lifted his chin while Ianto kissed his neck. His arm fell around Ianto's back and lightly stroked up and down in a gentle touch.
Ianto slid his hand quickly up Jack's thigh and right to his crotch. Jack gasped just a bit. Ianto began to lightly massage the area through Jack's trousers. "Just think about it," he said, looking Jack right in the eyes. "I have THE Captain Jack Harkness right where I want him."
Jack held his eye contact and parted his thighs a bit more. "And what makes you think they want that too?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Well first off, who wouldn't? You're an impossible challenge; unable to be tamed." Ianto kept palming at the crotch of Jack's trousers, feeling his body slowly start to react appropriately. "But especially that general," he said with a mock huff of his breath. Jack's eyebrow went up again in protest.
"Oh yeah," Ianto insisted. "You had him all angry, and hot, and insecure." He used both hands to slowly unbutton Jack's trousers and pull down the zipper. He dipped his hand inside and brought the now sensitive captain out of his pants. "I was watching him. His eyes told me that he'd kill to just rip off your clothes and have you take him right there."
"I think he was just angry," Jack said, laughing a bit.
"Nope," Ianto replied. "You didn't see him like I did. He kept looking you up and down like he was just dying for you." Ianto was slowly and gently stroking Jack. "I bet he would've loved for you to shut him up; to grab him and shove him up against the wall."
"Oh yeah? What then?" Jack purred as he closed his eyes, reveling in Ianto's work as he felt pulses move to his dick.
"I think you'd brace his hands against the wall so that he couldn't get away. He might try to out of embarrassment, but you know what he really wants." Ianto increased his pace a bit. "He'd start sweating; nervous as to what is coming next. Not scared. Anxious." His thumb grazed the tip, earning a soft moan from Jack.
"You'd nip at his neck from behind; a warning that you don't intend to be gentle." Ianto reached slightly under Jack to lightly massage his taint. "You don't like to waste time, Jack. You'd go straight in and stick your hand right down the back of his uniform trousers. You hate those uniforms anyway. You'd lick a finger and shove it inside him. You'd be gentle for the first one, but that's it. You'd stretch him a bit before shoving the next one in quickly. You don't care if it hurts him a little. He's an asshole. You're just doing him a favor anyway."
Jack squirmed a bit in his seat. He was listening intently to Ianto, closely following the picture he was painting in his mind.
"You should stretch him with three," Ianto continued, "but you don't." He continued his rhythmic work on Jack's dick, sending pulsations of pleasure into his abdomen. "You'd rip his trousers down. He'd try to pull them back up out of embarrassment, but you're stronger. You're in control. You'd shove them down to his ankles and then brace his arms against the wall again, ensuring he wouldn't be any more trouble to you. He's out in the open, pants hanging around his ankles, fully exposed. You'd kick his ankles to the sides so that he involuntarily spread his legs. You know what you'd do then?"
"Hmm?" Jack replied; throbbing and aching, but enjoying himself far too much to go over the edge. He bit down on his bottom lip as a distraction. Centuries of sex led him to be able to control himself better than he used to.
Ianto kept stroking him, but put his lips right near Jack's ear. "Then you'd fuck him hard." Jack moaned. "Right there, in front of everyone. You'd fuck him in front of his coworkers, his bosses, you don't care. They'd all have to sit there and watch him completely come undone at your hands."
"Ianto," Jack began to speak. His voice was breathy and uneven in tone. Ianto didn't let him continue, though.
"You'd have that bloody general crying your name in the middle of the headquarters." Ianto could sense how close Jack was, so he started to pump as fast as he could. "Then he'd finally know who was in charge."
He's said it so succinctly. The words left his lips as he dove his head down and closed his lips around Jack's cock. It barely took seconds of giving him head before Jack came. His body practically pulsed as he completely came undone. Ianto continued to suck him off for a good 20 seconds after he came before swallowing and raising himself again.
He grabbed Jack's tired looking head and pulled it against his chest, laying a kiss in his hair. Neither said a word for a few minutes. Jack allowed himself to be held as he quietly came down from his orgasm. Ianto was just reveling in the work he'd done. He was proud of himself for how quickly he took Jack over the edge.
"Fuck," Jack eventually whispered.
"I thought we'd have been driving," Ianto began to say; a throwback to his words on their trip to the headquarters.
Jack shook his head from side to side. "I would've crashed." He took a deep breath. "And one of us dies easily," he said, playfully pushing Ianto, who smiled back at him and chuckled.
"You know," Jack started. "Maybe these trips to U.N.I.T. aren't so bad after all." He sat up and ran a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. "I think you're making me enjoy them a little bit."
"Well you're welcome to invite me anytime," Ianto said before they kissed one last time and started to drive away.