A/N it's spaced like this bc i have dyslexia so you have to be kind
also admittedly i hage like 50 different versions of this fucking story so i kinda dont care aboit spelling errors anymore just take the boo-boos file irs a labor of love ig
also warning absouktely fuckikg nothing happens jts basically sienfeild i had 2 people sau that amd it made me laugh so hard
Bennett had left the car in a hurry, and in its wake was an intense conversation just beginning to brew. His three friends turned to face each other in their respected seats, all wearing a different expression.
"Layne…your driving sucks." a voice from the back said, cutting through the silence. The head it belonged to appeared from behind the driver's seat with a devious grin stretched across its face.
Layne refused to comment. Instead, he only pulled loose strands of his long brown hair back behind his ear that had escaped. Knuckles white on the steering wheel and shoulders tense, he kept his gaze transfixed on the road ahead. It appeared as if he had something important to say, but the words were stuck in his throat. Although the air conditioning was on full blast, sweat rolled down his face and into his beard.
"Shut up Addyson." A harsh voice from the passenger seat said. "You can't even drive."
"Ah ah ah." he said, wagging his finger, "I can drive. I am just not allowed to Kaori."
Kaori clicked her tongue and turned to face the road again. It wasn't worth going back and forth with Addyson, for it was just a game to him. At least she tried sticking up for Layne. The poor guy looked even sicker than Bennett did.
"Do you want me to drive Layne?"
"Like that's going to change anything, you're even worse than he is."
This generated an intense glare from Kaori. She wanted so badly to just reach out, wrap her fingers around the blue-haired freaks neck and throttle until he went silent. Taking a deep breath to quell her rising rage, Kaori instead decided to ignore his button pushing. Nobody knew why Addyson acted the way he did and none of them cared enough to find out. Maybe Bennett knew, with how close they had grown over the past year, but she'd have to ask him when they weren't in the middle of a sweltering desert..
"Oy, Layne. I can drive if it's stressing you out." Addyson said while leaning over the middle console to face his friend.
"That's a terrible idea. We would crash." said Kaori as she scooted away from Addyson.
"There's nothing to crash into we're in the middle of the desert- "
"The doctor quite literally said you cannot unless you're on treatment, which you are not." Kaori's words bounced off the car windows and reverberated in the two boys' skulls.
"I am quite literally right next to you, so there's no reason for you to scream like that." He purposefully exaggerated the "literally" to make Kaori's blood boil. "I'm not even tired right now, I could drive for like, what, an hour? We're almost there anyways, right Layne?"
Both turned to Layne, expecting an answer, but were met with an uncharacteristic silence. His eyes flickered from the road to his friends as his shaky hand left the wheel to rub his creased forehead. Neither of them had seen him this anxious before. Something was wrong.
"You good?" Addyson asked, unknowingly about to cause the first meltdown of the night from his question.
It was comedic the way Layne harshly swallowed before muttering the words that spearheaded the beginning of their "relaxing" vacation.
"Guys. We're lost."
The only part of the argument Bennett heard was Kaori's reaction to that information. If it was any louder, it would've shattered the car windows. He couldn't make out what she said, but by the cracking of her already scratchy voice, it was bad.
Bennett sighed audibly. He had left the car five minutes ago, what could they be arguing about now? At least the carsickness had passed without trouble, he desperately needed the fresh air. Being cramped in the backseat did that to him occasionally. It also did not help that he was monstrously tall, standing at six feet and nine inches, so getting into any vehicle was equivalent to squeezing into a clown car.
He also happened to be sitting behind Kaori, whose personal space bubble exceeded normal capacity. Although Kaori wasn't one to intentionally disregard someone's comfort, she pushed her seat so far back that Bennett was at eye level with his knees. Maybe he could ask Addyson to switch seats with him, that is if he could behave himself behind Kaori.
As time dragged on, Kaoris wails grew louder, and Bennett took it as his sign to return to the car. With a deep sigh, Bennett stood up straight, stretched his back, and started his trek back to the group.
He pulled out his phone and quickly checked the time; it was 8:32 p.m. The sun had already begun its descent into the horizon.
As he approached the window to his seat, the commotion died down and he could feel three pairs of eyes watch him open the door.
"Hey Ben…" Addyson said the moment the door swung open. A chilling jet of air blasted onto his exposed skin, causing his hair to rise on end. Ducking, he crawled to his seat and shut the door behind him. As he reached for his seatbelt, he caught a glimpse of Kaori's face- bright red, and clearly riled up, with Addyson's sly grin answering the question of who exactly was pushing her buttons. Bennett opened his mouth to ask about what happened, but the dread of the answer prevented any words from coming out.
Layne hadn't taken his eyes off the road since Bennett returned, which was odd to him. Usually, it was impossible to keep him from talking, he always had something to say.
"I'm sorry," Layne said, his voice barely above a whisper "I really am sorry."
"Alright, I'll bite." Said Bennett. "What happened?"
"We are lost. Womp womp womp." Addyson said, ending his announcement with an imitation of a cartoon trombone.
"Could you be serious for at least five minutes? What do you mean 'we're lost'? We've been following the map." His voice wavered as he tried to keep it monotone, for he knew he was the only calm person in the car.
It was a mean thought, but occasionally he wondered why they let Addyson tag along. Whenever he was around, tension weighed thick in the air, waiting for a match to spark and cause an explosion. He thrived off reactions to his antics, and it was annoying. Unfortunately, there was something alluring about the young man to Ben. Maybe it was his icy blue eyes, or the curvature of his face, or how the sunlight pouring in from the window hugged his best features, highlighting them in a warm glow. Since he was easy on the eyes, it was easy to tolerate his personality. To Bennett, at least.
"Ask Layne, he knows." Addyson said, his voice tearing him from his thoughts. One look at Layne told him the situation. An intense aura of guilt radiated from the front seat, causing Ben's chest to tighten. There was no reason to continue reprimanding him, the scene was already on loop inside his head.
"Can I see the map, Layne?" asked Bennett as he reached for the phone that was latched onto the air vent. He slid up on the screen and entered Layne's passcode in to unlock his phone.
"You know Layne's passcode?" Addyson asked.
Bennet intentionally ignored his question as he opened the map, as he knew it was a setup for another joke. Immediately he noticed it; the destination they had set was not where they had planned to go. Although last night was a hazy mess to remember, he recalled the place, Mid-Hills Campground, which was a few hours out into the Mojave Desert. All four of them were extremely high at the time of planning, but they at least had an idea. According to the map, their new destination was Afton Canyon Campground.
Bennett was unsure how to break it to the group that they missed the campsite by an hour. The sun peaked over the horizon, casting the world into an orange glow. It was becoming too late to check into a campsite. Ben quickly typed in the name of the campground into the app and tapped start route only to be met with the message "unable to find route". Instead of the driving route, the app alerted him of the fastest biking route to the campground.
Bennett let a sardonic laugh slip from his lips, his cool and calm facade crumbling apart.
"What?" Kaori turned to face Bennett with a fervid glare. "What's so funny?"
"Calm down. We put in the wrong destination, it's fixable." He said, sweat beading on his forehead. Although it was fixable, he was unsure how they were going to fix it, especially since the map refused to give them a driving route. The thought of revealing that information to Kaori caused his throat to tighten.
"We, uh, just have to turn around and follow the highway back, then…" Bennett soon lost himself on the map. Why wasn't it showing him the driving route?
"Lemme see." Addyson said as he leaned over to check the phone. His long blue hair brushed across Bennett's arm, causing an unexpected spike in his heart rate.
Swallowing harshly, he resisted the urge to back away. Bennett never liked psychical contact, even if on accident. Often, he would find himself dodging friendly pats and outright refusing hugs from people. This caused him to feel like a conceited jerk, but he knew it wasn't his fault. He developed this behavior due to his late abusive mother, and it was proving hard to shake. Five years have passed since her death, yet he still believed any touch was a threat.
Once again, Addyson broke him out of his brooding trance, this time with a shrill laugh. "Uh oh! Guys we better watch out…if we bike there there's steep hills…"
"Cut that out! Give me the damn phone!" Kaori said, vehemently snatching the phone out of their hands. After seconds of awkward silence interrupted by tapping, her face began to grow red once again. "Why won't it let me see the driving route?!"
"That's what we were trying to figure out." said Bennett, being mindful of what words he chose. He shot a look at Addyson, warning him of what would happen if he blurted out another quip. He rolled his eyes in response, but kept his mouth shut.
"What the hell are we going to do now? Even if we do make it, don't those stupid parks close for visitors soon?" said Kaori as she used her free hand to massage her temple.
"I dunno, we might have to pay a fee if we miss it. I don't thing its that big of a deal anyways, we can just drive home?" Addyson said with a shrug.
Although this was a rare moment where his response wasn't provocative, it still managed to tip Kaori off the edge. "I kind of don't want to drive home! We basically already got there!"
"Calm down woman! You're making a mountain out of a molehill right now!"
Bennett cringed upon hearing those words come out of Addyson's mouth. "You've really done it this time, Ads." He said under his breath. Calling kaori by a woman was a one way ticket to Hell.
Before Kaori could hurl more aggravated comments at the boys, sobbing erupted from the driver's seat. Instantly, everybody turned to face Layne. Everybody went silent as they watched him cry into his hands.
"I'm so sorry! I'm s-so sorry…" said Layne, shoulders shaking with each breath he drew in. "I ruined everything and now you guys are fighting and…I'm really really sorry."
"Hey, come on dude. You didn't really ruin anything. I think we all have some sort of blame in it." Bennett said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It deeply hurt him to see Layne cry. Due to his upbeat and charismatic personality, Layne was favorably labeled by Addyson as a golden retriever guy, so it stung and shocked people to see him upset. Nobody would want to be the reason why someone like him cries. "Like…when we came up with the idea in the first place, all of us were inebriated. One of us must've put the wrong thing into your phone."
Addyson nodded in agreement and said "I mean, none of us even bothered to check if we had the right address too…so…" before patting Layne on the shoulder affectionately. "You're fine man."
"No…I'm sorry for getting that upset." Kaori handed Layne's phone back to him. "I think I'm getting antsy from being in the car for so long. Even so, it's kinda inexcusable for me to be so irritated."
"See Layne, you didn't ruin anything. If anything, this is just an average night between us." said Addyson as he returned to his seat. "It's not the end of the world if a mistake is made."
There was something strange about the way Addyson spoke. Bennett couldn't put his finger on it, but he had noticed it, a clear hint of sadness in his voice.
The next half an hour was uneventful and Bennett could not remember most of it, as he was blankly staring out the window watching the scenery zip by. Although there wasn't much to look at, it was still more entertaining than what was happening in the car. Kaori and Addyson had begun another bickering session that Layne had to manually end by butting in with a quick "Hey guys why don't we turn on the radio?".
The sun soon disappeared behind the horizon, and Bennett could no longer see the baron desert landscape. Not that he was missing anything, in fact, staring out the window was what made him carsick earlier. Suddenly his pocket vibrated. He pulled out his phone and quickly turned down the brightness.
"You guys make it yet?"
It was his younger sister, Cecilia. He had told her about their plans before they left just to let her know where he was going. She was in no way overbearing, but she would get upset if Bennett didn't respond to her texts. There were times where he would be rudely awakened at ungodly hours in the night by calls from her. Each time he answered, they had the same conversation:
"What?"
"You didn't answer me, i got worried. Are you ok?"
"Yeah. Goodnight."
Bennett didn't hate her for it, he knew it was his fault she picked up that habit. Whenever he had an "episode" (as she dubbed it), he would go off the grid and hide away in his room for hours, sometimes days.
He texted back a quick "Getting there soon. Night." before slipping his phone back into his pocket.
Their next roadblock came in the form of a large unidentified object that hurled itself under the car when Kaori took over for Layne, as he had grown tired of driving. It was over before it started- one curse from Kaori, the car braking hard, everybody being sent forward from the sudden stop (Bennett had hit his head on the ceiling), following a loud and sickening crunch as the car ran over the object.
Bennett grabbed the passenger seat as leverage to pull himself forward as he checked out the windshield. But it was already over. the headlights revealed nothing but the road.
Kaori quickly put the car into park and looked back at her friends she just rudely jostled around. The lights in the car slowly came on and revealed everybody's features.
"Are you guys ok?" she said with panic in her eyes. If possible, she was more scared than the creature she had hit.
"Uh yeah. I'm good, I think." Bennett responded, still in shock from the sudden event. "What even happened?"
"Must've hit an animal. I'm going to see how bad it is." before Layne could exit the car he was pulled back into his seat by Kaori with tremendous force. "Are you insane? Did you see how big that freaking thing was?! And you want to go outside, where it's injured?"
"Kai it's prob just a dear or something." a goofy yet endearing smile flashed across his face. This was somehow enough to let him off the hook.
Still mildly shocked form the event, Bennett started tuning them out and turned over to Addyson. Motionless, he gaped out the windshield with an empty look in his eyes. This had concerned Bennett enough to speak up.
"Hey, did you hit your head on anything Ads?" he asked, raising his voice higher than the cacophony of Kaori and Layne's voices as they left the car.
No response.
Bennett was unsure how to proceed. He was unsure if he was having a narcolepsy episode or the sudden crash triggered something in his brain, and he did not want to push it. Whatever it was, it deeply disturbed Bennett. Sure, he had witnessed his cataplexy attacks before and those had always been intense, but this felt different. Something was wrong.
Hesitating, Bennett reached over and gently shook his shoulder in attempt to snap him out of his trance. "Are you alright?"
Addyson blinked a few times and looked around the car, seemingly uncertain for where he was, then forced a smile onto his face. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm just tired. Probably narcolepsy kicking in."
A lie. He knew for sure it was. From the way his lips curled, how his eyes refused to meet his, and not to mention, how he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Why was he lying?
"You sure? You didn't hit your head or anything? Just a tired spell?" he gave him one last chance to tell the truth.
Addyson shook his head, took out his phone and began to tap away at something. "Yeah. I'm good."
A very clear indicator that the conversation was over. Addyson was not willing to share and Bennett was forced to let it go.
Turning his attention back to current events, he realized fairly quickly that Kaori was bawling. He decided to go outside and see the damage for himself. Before exiting the car, he took one last glance back at Addyson. The interior lights of the car reflected the tears in his eyes. Why wouldn't he tell him?
Bennett believed that when they were all older and had kids, they recall Kaori running over a mountain lion and laugh. But now, they were not laughing. There was a giant dent in Layne's car.
Nobody knew what to do. Kaori suggested they called the police but Bennett begged her not to. The last thing he wanted to do that night was deal with cops. It was pitch black in the middle of nowhere and Bennett was itching to go home and climb into his bed. In the end, Layne and Bennett opted to moving the animal's corpse into some bushes while Kaori attempted to get blood off of the car. Only when they were finished had they realized that this had been the worst answer to a problem they had ever come up with. Layne cracked a joke about how they were covering up a murder, which made Bennett feel sick again. Maybe they should've called the police.
With Layne's totaled BMW, they finally made it to the campsite. It was around 9:30 when they found an open campsite. Bennett was worried people would be asleep by now, but the sounds of distant chatter and laughter bounced off the Joshua trees. Kaori and Layne seemed to be in better spirits than before, which was good, yet Addyson still seemed down. Asking again if he was ok only produced the same answer as before. Bennett tried his best not to push, but the longer Addyson stayed downcast, the more his chest hurt.
Soon they finally found an open campsite and began the impossible task of unloading the car and setting up their tents. Unfortunately for Bennett, his brain was refusing to cooperate. Watching everybody else put up their tents without any trouble only made it worse. He wondered how it was so easy for them to be able to do anything without their mind overpowering their free will. The farthest he got was placing the ground sheet down and lining up all the pegs in the sand next to it. It might have been the post weed fog or the stress from the death of an innocent animal, but he felt as if it was his turn to cry. He contemplated crawling into the car, taking another edible and going to sleep there.
"Struggling?"
Bennett turned to find Addyson standing behind him with his arms crossed. He wondered how long he had been watching him.
"I guess." he said with a shrug. "I don't really know what I'm doing."
He anticipated a sarcastic remark, yet none came. "I can help you if you want." The incredulous look on Bennetts face must have said it all. "Why do you look so surprised?"
Bennett shrugged and turned back to his unfinished tent. "I don't know man, you didn't seem to be in the mood." Sitting next to him, Addyson began to pull his tent out of the sleeve. "Did you already put yours up?"
Admittedly in his head he promised he would help Addyson with his own tent, yet he absentmindedly sat and watched him meticulously pull the wires through the cloth. If Bennett did it himself he would've ruined his tent anyway. Knowing his brute strength, he would've ripped it on accident.
Once he realized Addyson never responded, he glanced at him for an answer and found his face was a slight shade of red. "I, uh, forgot my tent at home. I was hoping maybe I could crash in yours." before Bennett could agree, he was instantly cut off. "Actually, never mind. I'll just sleep in the car. I know you like your personal space, I wouldn't want to intrude-"
"Woah. Dude. I was just about to say yes."
Addyson's shoulders slumped as he let out a sigh of relief. "Ah. Alright. Thanks-"
"On one condition. You finish the tent. I'm starving."
In the back of Layne's car was a cooler full of water and some foods and a few bundles of firewood. The plan was once again getting high, roasting hotdogs by a fire together. But because of todays events, nobody was in the mood to start a fire, so Bennett stole a few of Kaori's granola bars. She was on a diet for managing her blood sugar, which meant no red meats. Bennett wondered how she wasn't miserable being on a diet.
Grabbing two waters from the cooler, he carefully made his way around in the dark back to his tent. The events from the day had finally caught up with him. Once he climbed into his sleeping bag he started to drift off.
Suddenly, a nagging lump on his throat made it impossible to fall asleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Addyson and what made him so upset. Did he receive bad news from someone? Did a family member pass away? Did the crash scare him? Even before that he seemed more agitated than normal, for he had bothered Kaori an abnormal amount today. Something was bothering him, and it in turn, bothered Bennett.
He had decided he couldn't sleep unless he knew. "Ads, whats wrong?"
The only response that came were the choir of nighttime critters thay sang their songs in the dark around them. One side of him said to let it go, if he didn't want to tell him then he didn't want to. But that nagging feeling persisted.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?"
"Come on man, just let it go-"
"No." Bennett scared himself with how harsh his unexpected retort was. "Sorry. I mean, please? Something is clearly bothering you and I hate to see you like that. I just want to know if it's something serious."
Backpedaling, he rolled over onto his side and reached for his phone to turn on the flashlight so they could see. Addyson was already facing him. The light illuminated all of his features and Bennett found himself tracing the curvature of his face in its glow again. It was hard to read his expression, for it was an intense mixture of many complex emotions. Despite all that, a faint smile fluttered across his lips.
"You have such a way with words, you dork. Addyson said softly. "It's nothing serious, It's just me being a baby."
"Still, it seemed to really bother you, whatever it was. You don't have to tell me, I just want to know if you're ok."
Addyson solemnly shook his head. "I'm ok. I'm just…disappointed."
Now he had finally gotten somewhere. "In what?"
"In myself, in this trip, and in the world. This was supposed to be special."
"Oh come on Ads. It's not that bad. There's always tomorrow-"
"No. No you don't get it." the way Addyson's voice raised an octave caught Bennett's attention. "Like…it was supposed to be special."
"I…still don't understand what you mean."
Addyson sat up in his sleeping bag, prompting Bennett to as well. The longer the guessing game dragged on, the more upset and flustered he seemed to become. They sat in an awkward silence before Addyson spoke again.
"What do two people do when one of them forgets his tent on purpose to spend a night under the stars alone in the middle of nowhere with someone he likes…?"
"You forgot your tent on purpose?"
A strange noise erupted from Addyson as he clenched his fists and shook them at Bennett in a rage. "That's besides the point! I'm trying to tell you I'm in love with you and you're too dense to take a hint! This whole trip was just a ploy to ask you out! And everything kept going wrong and now it's ruined!"
Time seemed to slow down. Addyson was in love with him? In love? With him? Why? He could feel the blood rushing to his head and hear it in his ears. A cold sweat crept across his body. What did "in love" mean? Nothing felt real to him anymore. Nobody had ever proclaimed their love for him. What Layne and him had didn't count, that was just a few drunken nights where Bennett was discovering himself. They both had agreed it was a one time thing. He had never been in love before, at least from what he could remember at the moment.
"Are you ok?" Addyson quickly fished him from the cesspool of thoughts he was sinking in.
"Yeah. Yeah I'm ok. I'm just shocked. I didn't think you thought that way about me. How long have you felt like that?"
"Ever since we first met, actually."
Bennett felt his heart start to pound against his ribs. A strange fluttering feeling caused the hairs on his neck to raise. This had been so sudden, it was almost too much for him to fully take in. Not only was he flattered, he was scared. Bennett did not know anything when it came to being in a relationship. Minutes had passed when he eventually realized he hadn't responded yet. "Sorry. I'm still taking it in. I don't know how to respond yet."
"That's fine. I feel better getting that off my chest. If it's too weird we can just forget this ever happened and go to bed." Addyson said quickly.
"No- no stop. It's not weird. I'm happy. I'm not entirely sure how I feel yet but, I'm glad? I think?"
The next few moments were spent in silence as the two awkwardly stared at each others hands. It was now when Bennett realized how delicate Addyson's hands were. He was on the smaller side so his hands matched his size. Thin and petite with black painted nails. Bennett's hands were immensely larger than his. That nagging feeling reappeared in his chest, whispering into his ear to touch Addyson's hand. But Bennett refused, for he believed he would somehow crumble under his weight.
"I'm…glad you aren't weirded out or anything. We can talk about this more tomorrow, I'm about to fall asleep." Addyson said quietly. The dark clouds that surrounded him earlier had dissipated.
"Yeah. For sure Ads."
Just as the two could finished their chat, Kaori whipped open the flap to their tent with such a force the zipper nearly broke off. They soon realized she had been crying.
"Guys there's a scorpion in my damn tent." she said breathlessly, as if she was desperately trying yo keep her voice to a minimum. "I can't do this anymore. Move over. I'm sleeping in here."
All Bennett could do was sigh.