Chapter 2

Two years later

"Look! A new poster!"

Jiraiya looked up from the book he was reading, careful not to jostle the fake cover that disguised his less than holy reading material as a prayer book. Much more appropriate for someone posing as a man of the church. His eyes followed Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon as they charged past his shaded spot on the edge of the village square, headed towards the announcement board where all of Prince Orochimaru's ridiculous proclamations were nailed. The three children huddled in awe to stare at the newest wanted poster featuring The Notorious Robin Hood.

"Wow," Udon gasped. "They increased the reward again. Now he's worth 500 coins!" The boy's bright face dimmed as he adjusted to glasses to read the fine print. "But now it says 'Capture: Dead or Alive'."

"Whatever," Konohamaru snorted, sticking out his tongue at the ominous words. "They'll never catch Robin Hood! He's the bestest archer in all of Sherwood Forest!"

"And he's so handsome," Moegi sighed dreamily. "That poster doesn't do justice to his striking blue eyes and sunshine blond hair…"

The two boys immediately fell into fits of dramatic gagging at her sappy words. Not one to be mocked without repercussion, the girl whirled and proceeded to chase her companions with fists raised. The kids tore around the village square until they nearly knocked over the buckets of water Shizune had been patiently filling from the well.

"Alright, that's enough!" the woman cried, grabbing two of the three wild things by their collars. "Help me carry this water back to the orphanage before Mr. Iruka gets so hungry he eats all our dinners by himself."

"Yes ma'am," they chorused, and followed her orders, traipsing past Jiraiya in a neat line.

He smiled at them as they obediently marched by. "My word Ms. Shizune, they look taller every time I see them. You and Iruka are saints for how well you care for those poor children at the orphanage."

"We couldn't do it without Robin Hood's help," she humbly deflected with a dip of her chin. "Without the money he drops off, we could never pay the taxes and keep a roof over our heads." She frowned, watching the three small children walk down the dirt street. "I just wish the Bijū Wars would end already and King Minato would come back soon. Nottingham is suffering without him."

Jiraiya hummed in agreement. "The whole kingdom is. But, speaking of taxes…" he fished in his friar's robes for the small pouch of coins hidden in its folds. "This is for you. Robin passes on his apologies for not being able to deliver it in person. He loves seeing the kiddos, but things are busy and he has to play it safe."

Shizune carefully tucked the precious money into her apron, eyes shining with gratitude. "God bless Robin Hood, and all his Merry Men too. Thank you for your help Friar Tuck."

The two quietly parted ways, not wanting to draw too much attention to themselves. The village square was the perfect place for Jiraiya (aka Friar Tuck) to spy on the state of the local government and keep an ear open for the latest gossip. But guards paced by on a regular schedule, and one could never be too careful.

As if summoned by the thought, at that moment Suigetsu appeared around the corner of an alley across the way, his obnoxiously large claymore sword strapped proudly to his back. Jiraiya barely held back a sneer, the guy had to be overcompensating for something with that absurdly long thing. Close on his heels strode the infamous Sheriff of Nottingham, a smug smile pasted on her upturned face. Spying Jiraiya looking in her direction, she approached him with a gleam in her eye that he did not like.

"Friar Tuck, shouldn't you be out giving alms to the poor or something? Not sitting here like a lazy man just getting fatter by the day?"

"Karin." Jiraiya bit out the short greeting with a sharp glare. "I would be, except someone took all the coins from the poor box last tax day."

"That's Sheriff Karin," she corrected, flipping her red hair haughtily over her shoulder. "Careful what you say, old man. Prince Orochimaru needs those taxes to protect the citizens of Nottingham."

"'Protect' my ass," he grumbled, but luckily his words were drowned out by the loud tolling of the bell to mark the hour.

"ONE O'CLOCK AND ALL'S WEEEELLLLL!" Suigestu screeched.

"Goddammit Suigetsu!" Sheriff Karin whirled and bellowed at him. "I told you to stop that bullshit! You're gonna blow out my ear drum!"

"I'm sorry Sir—Ma'am—Sheriffness…" he spluttered.

Rolling his eyes in disgust, Jiraiya rose and used their fight as an excuse to depart without having to say another word to the horrible Sheriff of Nottingham. Besides, he had a date to get to, and he hated to be late.

His steps quickened as he wove his way through the afternoon crowd back towards the small abbey where he presided as the fake Friar Tuck. The perfect cover for Head Spy of the Merry Men, chief correspondent with contacts who were planted in Nottingham's High Castle itself. Perhaps it was a bit sacrilegious to refer to his meetings with his contact as 'dates' instead of 'confessions'. But he thought God would forgive a man his minor faults in light of his greater deeds. Besides, this woman was something else…

Bursting through the church doors it took his eyes a moment to adjust to the dim lighting that streamed through the stained glass windows of the sanctuary. There, sitting like an angel from heaven was Tsunade, one of Maid Marian's Ladies-in-Waiting. Head bowed piously in prayer as the rainbow of colors illuminated her glorious bosom.

Barely stifling a giggle, Jiraiya practically skipped down the aisle, grabbing the little wafers from the side of the altar. "Madame, what brings you to my humble sanctuary on this beautiful day?" He smoothly purred as he approached her, delicate wafer carefully pinched between his fingers. "Surely someone so pure as yourself has nothing to be repentant for?" He held his breath as she raised her face to his, reaching for those delicious lips, cracker trembling in his grasp…

Her hand snapped up and grabbed his wrist, squeezing it so tightly he could feel his bones grind together. "That's not how this works you pervert," she hissed. The fragile wafer fell from his strangled fingers and floated down into the generous cleavage exposed by her dress. His eyes bulged.

"Whatever could you mean," he gurgled, struggling to stifle his reaction to the pain shooting up his arm. His fingers twitched as he tried to fetch the wafer from its glorious resting place, but her vise-like grip only tightened. "I only want to serve you, my dear," he choked out, "as a precious member of my parish."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she snatched the cracker from her cleavage and crammed it in her mouth. Jiraiya pouted, thwarted once again from getting his hands anywhere near her. But an instant later the broad leer was back on his face. "On second thought, perhaps I can invite you into my confessional? So we may continue our conversation in a more private setting?"

With a grunt of acquiescence, Tsunade dropped his arm and stood, marching toward the tiny little wooden booth tucked into the far corner of the apse. Jiraiya glared after her swirling skirts, shaking the feeling back into his numb hand as he followed. He tried to join her in the same stall but she immediately booted him out with that absurdly strong kick of hers. Glumly entering his own side of the confessional he sat down with a huff and whipped open the small sliding window that separated them.

"Y'know, you don't have to be so mean," he whined, massaging his red wrist. "I'm just playing my part."

Tsunade snorted, "Of a lecherous priest? How original. Cut the crap Jiraiya I got important news. There's going to be a banquet at the High Castle and Prince Orochimaru is going to make a big announcement. This is our chance. Hinata was finally able to confirm the location of the crown jewels and she should be able to create an opening at the dinner using her status as Maid Marian."

Jiraiya straightened, all other thoughts pushed to the back of his priority list. This was huge news. It had been almost a year since Hinata had volunteered to leave the safety of Sherwood Forest and become a wolf in sheep's clothing amongst Prince Orochimaru's Court. She was able to use her distant cousin, Neji Hyūga, as a contact to reenter the society of the nobility. Banking on his status as a foreign diplomat, she created a plausible story to excuse her years of absence, saying she had simply sought safety in his care after the ransacking of the Royal Castle in the Capital. Now the two cousins were infiltrating Prince Orochimaru's circle from the inside, looking for any weakness that would remove him from Nottingham, and perhaps the country, once and for all.

"When?" Jiraiya demanded, the wheels in his head already turning.

"Two weeks, on the night of the winter solstice," Tsunade leaned closer to the ornate grate that separated them, lowering her voice even more. "Tell Naruto to be careful, Jiraiya. Prince Orochimaru has become obsessed with capturing 'Robin Hood'. If he gets caught they'll probably hang him."

"Don't worry Tsuna," he answered, his tone so calm and confident she didn't even snap at the pet name. Sasuke and Sakura have his back. They wouldn't let anything happen to him. None of Merry Men would. Tell Hinata, come hell or high water, she'll see her man in two weeks time."

The Compound was bustling with activity, the level of anticipation was so high it seemed as if even the limbs and boughs of Sherwood Forest's massive trees were dancing with restless anxiety. For two weeks preparations had been going full steam. Every member of the outlaw troop had been working tirelessly to ensure that tonight's plans went off without a hitch.

"ENTER!"

As Lee's shout echoed from the lookout platform built into the highest branch, Naruto glanced up from the table where he and Sasuke were studying the handmade map of the High Castle that Neji had smuggled out to them. The heavy bar was lifted from the gate of the compound wall, and Jiraiya entered, a large sack bouncing on his shoulders with each long stride.

"The merriest of greetings to you, Sir!" Lee bellowed from above. Jiraiya's eye twitched, but he nodded back at the ever enthusiastic young man who took his membership as part of Robin Hood's Band of Merry Men to an extreme level.

Naruto grinned, stepping out through the open tent flap and into the dappling of sunlight that permeated the thick woods where their compound was hidden. "Well, well, if it isn't the infamous Friar Fuck. How many 'converts' did you get this week, huh?" He teased, reaching out to shake Jiraiya's hand.

"That's not my name Brat," Jiraiya by-passed Naruto's outstretched hand and smacked him upside the head instead. "Respect your elders."

"What news?" Sasuke interjected, too impatient to participate in the pairs' usual back and forth.

"Hello to you too," Jiraiya scowled as he dumped his burden on the ground and collapsed heavily onto a stump that served as a chair, sniffing the air with intent while looking at the large boiling pot of stew that Choji was carefully stirring nearby. "It's a hell of a walk to get out here, let me catch my breath a second."

Having observed the whole scene, Shikamaru was already scooping a hearty helping of the stew into a bowl and carried it over to the tent that served as the headquarters for the outlaw group.

At least that's what the local folklore which bordered on legend called them. It was a reputation built half on rumor and half on truth. In reality, the band of outlaws was composed of former soldiers, starving farmers who had lost everything, and other misfits with a hatred for the prince who perpetrated the suffering of the poor. As the loudest and most dramatic fighter among them, Naruto had quickly been branded the leader and deemed 'The Notorious Robin Hood' by authorities. Many civilians were unaware that it was actually Sasuke, the last Uchiha of his line, who plotted most of the Merry Men's deeds from the shadows. Always hiding his malice behind the innocent moniker of 'Little John' until the moment he could exact his ultimate revenge.

Gulping down the last of his meal, Jiraiya burped loudly and thunked down his bowl in satisfaction. "Ahhh, it's better every time Choji!" he called happily over his shoulder. "Now I can think."

"Did you talk to Hinata?" Naruto demanded, nearly vibrating with impatience where he stood by the table. "Is she safe?"

"She's fine," Jiraiya answered, grinning mischievously. "Girl has a good head on her shoulders. She was able to find a way to sneak all you idiots into the banquet."

Shikamaru and Sasuke shared a look. "We already mapped a detailed route for infiltrating the High Castle," Shikamaru said suspiciously. It may be a bit complex but the risk is well worth the reward."

But Jiraiya was already shaking his head, lifting the heavy bag he had lugged in as his grin widened. "Oh yes, I saw that plan. It'll take a hope and a prayer for that to work. Swimming across that freezing moat in the dead of night? You must be crazy."

"We don't have any other choice, approaching over the bridge will be too obvi—" Sasuke's terse retort trailed away when Jiraiya upturned the contents of his bag onto the table, covering the intricate maps with piles and piles of ribbons, lace, and silks.

"What the hell is all this?" Naruto loudly exclaimed, catching Sakura's attention as she passed by with another fresh set of bandages that she was preparing for her medical supplies. Curiosity peaked, she ducked into the tent and gasped.

"These are gorgeous," awe filled her voice as she reverently stroked the fine fabric. "Only the richest ladies of the court can afford such gowns as these."

"Exactly," Jiraiya smirked, sitting down once more and snatching the flask of ale from a nearby stool. "Behold gentlemen: –uh, and Sakura– your disguises!"

"Absolutely not," Sasuke snapped, standing abruptly. But Shikamaru was more reserved, his hands folded as he calculated a million scenarios faster than most could plan their next meal.

His eyes raised and caught Sasuke's glare. "It could work," he said cautiously. "With everyone drunk, we could infiltrate in plain sight. The volume of the skirts are more than generous enough to hide our weapons and the items we want to take. They are looking for a band of outlaws, not a gaggle of women. We could get much further into the castle without ever having to create the cacophony of a fight."

"You can't be serious. Shikamaru, this isn't a time for joking. This is our best chance to finally accomplish our goal!" Sasuke's voice raised uncharacteristically, but before he could lose his temper he was caught off guard by the cool silkiness of fabric being pressed against his arm. Glancing down in surprise he was greeted by the glowing face of Sakura, who was holding up a soft pink gown the exact shade of her hair to his torso, as if measuring its size to his body.

She smiled coyly up at his widening eyes. "I think this is your color, Sasuke. Pink looks best on you."

Naruto began to cackle as the proud Uchiha noble turned outlaw fought down a fierce red blush. "Welp, that's that boys! If Hinata says this is how we will succeed, who are we to doubt her?" Clapping his hands together eagerly he loomed over the heaps of expensive clothing with a greedy shine to his eyes. "Dibs on anything orange!"

Naruto shifted in the stifling heat of the carriage as they bumped over the cobblestone bridge, trying to lean his head further out the window to catch a small breath of refreshing night air.

"Will you sit still?" Sasuke snapped, using a satin hankie to dab the sweat beading off his forehead. "Its miserable enough in this tiny torture chamber without your constant fidgeting."

"I can't help it," Naruto whined, grabbing handfuls of his fake boobs and adjusting them for the hundredth time. "These corsets are Satan's handiwork, I swear."

"I think they're rather flattering," Lee chirped brightly, fluffing the lace of his poofy shawl. "This whole performance really calls for the utmost of our most merry efforts!"

"It's not a 'performance', it's an infiltration," Shikamaru corrected, tugging on the tight chin band of the toque which was nearly strangling his face.

Sasuke growled like an angry dog, lifting a lace gloved hand to wipe his face again but Sakura grabbed his wrist.

"Stop it, you'll wipe off all your make-up. It took forever for me to get it just right." Whipping out a compact of podwer from who knew where she was immediately patting his nose with an intense look of concentration.

Naruto snickered. "Yeah you sure took your time with him, Sakura," he teased. "Careful with all that fanciness, Little John is already known as the prettiest outlaw. Wouldn't want anyone to take advantage of his girlishly good looks—HRK!"

His words were strangled when she leapt across Sasuke's lap to grab him by the pearls and choke him until his neck veins bulged. Sasuke tried in vain to use his dainty cane to separate them before their thrashing ruined everyone's clothing.

BANG BANG BANG, a fist pounded on the roof. "Knock it off!" Kakashi shouted from the outside of the carriage where he was posing as the driver. "We're here!"

The group froze as the carriage passed under the massive gates to the castle courtyard. Gates the Merry Men had been trying to break through for months. They rolled to a stop, everyone holding their collective breaths as the smart click-clack sound of expensive heeled boots stepped down the castle's marble stairs and up to the door of the carriage. With a smooth motion the carriage door swung open to reveal a tall, stately noble awaiting their strategically belated arrival.

Neji's face instantly contorted with revulsion as he laid eyes on the barely believable pack of 'women'. "You all are hideous," he stated flatly.

"Say that to my face, Prick," Naruto retorted from the back of the group, shaking a fist threateningly out of the morass of satins and chiffon. He was quickly yanked back into the recesses of the carriage by Sakura.

"Be quiet! The guards are watching!" she hissed, before shoving her way out of the door and suddenly assuming the demeanor of a queen.

Neji's face sagged in relief at the sight of her in the soft mossy green gown that perfectly matched her eyes, and he gratefully extended his hand to assist her down the small stair. "Thank God, one of you is decent," he mumbled. As she alighted with the utmost grace to the ground he bowed deeply and kissed her hand.

"Madame, welcome to Prince Orochimaru's Winter Solstice Banquet," he said in a louder voice intended for the observant guards to hear. "I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival. You and your…companions, are more than welcome."

"I apologize for our belated arrival," she answered in a clear high voice, tittering intentionally at his manners. "We took a wrong turn a ways back. Thank you for your invitation."

The castle doorman at the top of the stairs who had been staring with narrowed eyes at their display flinched when Neji glanced up at him sharply, eyebrows raised with impatience.

Bowing smartly he pulled open the doors. "Ah, yes Lord Hyūga. Please, everyone follow me."

Sasuke scrambled out after Sakura, glaring daggers at the back of Neji's head as he followed close on the pairs' heels. One by one, the crossdressed outlaws followed Lord Hyūga into the High Castle, walking carefully lest the weapons strapped to their legs and buried in their skirts came loose.

The guards watched suspiciously, but none said a word as the honored Hyūga Emissary led the way. Before the door shut completely behind them, Lee gave the doorman a broad wink and blew him a juicy kiss. The young man's choked gasp was the last thing they heard as the door thudded closed.

The group exhaled a collective breath. They'd done it. They were in! This was the furthest they'd ever gotten. And not one sword had been drawn.

They filed cautiously down the hall toward the banquet room, rows of flickering torches illuminating the lengths of red carpets. Naruto shuffled slowly, having flashbacks of the night two years ago when he had run through another castle, and run straight into her arms…

As the jovial sounds of voices grew louder his heart began to pound. His steps faltered, hesitating at the precipice of the moment he had been dreaming of for months. Seeing her again, in the flesh, after ages of sharing nothing but short, obscure messages scribbled along the sides of the group's secret missives. After all this time spent brushing shoulders with the highest nobles of society, dining on the finest meals, drinking the richest wines…would she even want to lower herself to his level again?

Sasuke turned to say something to him but stopped, brows furrowing in concern. "What's the matter? Don't tell me you're not going through with this. If I have to wear this stupid attire you do too—"

"It's not that," Naruto whispered harshly, eyes darting around. "It's just, well…what if–what if she doesn't, y'know, feel the same way anymore?"

Sasuke stared at him, seeming to understand immediately what his friend meant. "Hinata isn't like that."

Naruto rubbed the nape of his neck, hanging back as the others slowly made their way into the milling crowd of people. "Yeah, but she isn't like me either. I'm a nobody, Sasuke. She's been sleeping on down pillows and dancing in velvet slippers all this time. What have I got to offer a girl like her? A cot in the forest? A tent? I know she's going to pull through for us; that she'll keep her word and all…But after that, when there's nothing left but just me…" He swallowed hard, letting his true fears show on his face in front of his closest friend. "What if I'm not good enough?"

Sasuke sighed, tugging on the lacy fringe of his sleeve. "I can't speak for her, Naruto," he said quietly. "But you'll never know until you walk through those doors and look her in the eyes." He studied his partner, awkwardly patting him on his puffed sleeved shoulder. "But, for what it's worth, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

Naruto's eyes widened as he gaped at Sasuke. "Bastard, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me," he murmured in awe. Hoisting up the bust of his dress once more he waggled his eyebrows. "Are you hitting on me? There's a rumor that Little John and Robin Hood are secret lovers, y'know? I heard it's quite a popular theory."

"Ugh, you're such an idiot," Sasuke groaned, shoving him hard. "I try to say one nice thing—"

"Shhh!" Neji whipped around and glared at the two men. "Soften your voices, they're a dead give away of your disguise. Hurry up, the music is starting."

"Why are all the pretty boys the bossiest?" Naruto mumbled, straightening his skirts. Sasuke scowled but quickly rearranged his expression. Game face on, eyes keen and calculating. Nodding at each other once, the diabolical duo turned, sweeping out of the shadows and into the bright room.