Sorry for the long wait. The holiday season was busy this year :(
Chapter 15: Yukiko's Lonely Days
Day 1
Yukiko sat in a cafeteria and stared uninterestedly at the plate of food in front of her. It was just some tasteless soup paired with some just as tasteless rice. Not only that, but the proportion was more than half the size of her regular meals. It wasn't that they were underfeeding the patients, Yukiko just ate a lot. She took a spoonful of the boring rice with a frown. "It'd be nice if they let me cook my own meals…"
There was a loud clattering and the sound of someone yelling something that she didn't bother listening to. When the yelling intensified and more voices joined in she looked up to see what was happening. Three of the patients, two men and a woman, were standing around a broken plate arguing. The woman slapped one of the men and the other started punching her. It was causing the surrounding patients to panic and there was a mixture of responses ranging from panic to excitement and a couple of other patients joined in the fighting before the orderlies made it to the group that started the whole situation. "I thought this was a hospital, but these patients are acting more like rioting prisoners." Yukiko thought with discomfort.
Trusting the orderlies to be able to do their job and resolve the fighting, she returned to the bad meal. It was more important than ever that she finish every bite since she obviously wasn't going to be getting as much food as she's used to. Unfortunately that proved to be a mistake and the fighting had moved across the room and gotten closer to her. He didn't intend to be, probably, but one of the patients was punched or pushed and fell on top of her, pinning her to the table. She didn't intended to, honestly, but when she felt the man's larger body on top of hers she was flooded with panic and gripped the plastic spoon in her hand tightly and turned as she thrusted it down at the man's collar bone. The plastic snapped and the man was still on her, too slow in getting away for her to accept, so she stabbed at him with the now sharp piece of plastic. When the improvised weapon broke through his skin the patient finally backed away, screaming. One of the orderlies grabbed him and started ushering him away while another took hold of Yukiko, grabbing a wrist in each hand. She knew she shouldn't but her sprained wrist surged in pain at being grasped and the woman couldn't contain the impulsive need to get away from the man so she kicked up into his groin causing the orderly to release her then spun and landed a roundhouse kick directly across his cheek.
With the man on the floor she had a second to breathe and realize what she had done. She didn't want any more employees rushing her so she tried to make herself seem less hostile and sat down in a chair just a step away but wrapped herself in her arms so no one else can grab at her hands like that. Yukiko squeezed her eyes shut and took deep breaths to try and calm her fried nerves. With her guard down she felt another large hand grab her shoulder and just as suddenly something sharp pierce her neck. She opened her eyes in surprise but things started to get blurry and she was overcome with an unnatural fatigue.
When Yukiko awoke her head felt like a cement brick and her vision was swimming. She felt like she was on something cushioned so and when her eyes cleared a bit more she could see that she was in a bed room, mostly likely the same one she was brought to that morning. The room was completely bare except for her bed; the nightstand that was there had been removed. There wasn't a pad and pen in sight like they previously left with her so she could communicate. "Well, I did a pretty good job of proving them right about the violent outbursts." She thought, a bit ashamed. "But that man wasn't getting off of me. That other guy shouldn't have grabbed me!" She defended to herself.
She sighed and tenderly rubbed her still throbbing wrist. There was literally nothing for her to do in this room. It was basically a box with a bed and a door without a door handle. She sat up and leaned into a corner, it gave her a good position to watch the door. "I wonder what Grimmjow is doing… Maybe he's fighting that Shinigami he talked about. I wonder if he won. That Shinigami seemed pretty strong when I saw him before. How strong is Grimmjow? He was the Sexta in the Espada and that was years ago, not that I have any clue how strong the other Espada were. I know he had a lot more Arrancar below him in rank than above him, so he must've been strong. But maybe he already went back to Hueco Mundo. What is he up to there? Probably training again for his next fight, against whoever it is. He wants to be the King of Hollows so maybe that next fight will be against the current king." She smiled and giggled slightly. "King Grimmjow. He'd love that. What would he do as king? From what I can tell the Hollow King doesn't do anything in particular, they're just considered the strongest Hollow."
Yukiko would have to ponder on that question later. Her wrist was starting to hurt even more now, somehow, and she was starting to grimace and sweat. She remembered Yuzu handing pain medication to one of the officers who arrested her and she could really use some of it now. {"I hope someone is out there."} She said to herself and she went to the door and started knocking. There was no response but she really needed something to take the edge off from her wrist so she kept knocking. It felt like an hour of banging on the door passed, there were even a few of the other patients around her room that started to complain, before someone finally approached her door. A panel slid open on the door and she saw a pair of eyes look around the room and at her. "Yes?" A male voice questioned.
She held up her hand in a brace in response.
"What do you want?"
She groaned internally and pointed at her brace. He continued to look at her with confusion and she heard another voice on his side of the door and he looked away. He looked back at Yukiko. "Could you please back away from the door?"
She complied and retreated to her bed. The door opened and the same woman from that morning entered the room, once again carrying a file and a notepad and pen. "Ametsuchi-chan, do you remember me?"
Yukiko nodded and pointed to the paper and pen in her hands, requesting them. The doctor, Sato, handed them to her and Yukiko wrote her thoughts while glancing at the man that waited at her doorway. "My wrist hurts. The doctor who looked at it gave the police pain medicine for me. I wanted to have some."
Sato read the message and glanced at Yukiko's injured hand. Her fingers were trembling now. "I see. You were scheduled to receive a dose of the medication with your dinner but you unfortunately missed it. Not only that but, the commotion likely agitated the injury." She turned to the man. "Please go and collect the medication that was brought in with Ametsuchi-chan, as well as a meal."
The man nodded and Yukiko felt herself relax slightly when he was out of sight. The doctor's eyes narrowed in on her when she did but otherwise seemed to ignore it. "While you were sedated after the 'incident' in the cafeteria you were examined by a physician on our staff. He noticed a couple of deep bruises and slight burns. Would you like to tell me what happened?"
"No." Yukiko thought, and curled up tightly. She can't. She should have known that was going to happen, yet she let her guard down. She knew that something bad was coming her way and she didn't even try to stop it. If she did nothing to prevent anything bad from happening to her, who was she to cry about it now?
"You are not yet ready to talk?" Sato asked.
Yukiko wrote her a message. "Are you trying to be funny?"
The doctor smiled crookedly. "Do you find me funny?"
Because her expression of a clear lack of amusement apparently wasn't enough of a give-away, Yukiko shook her head no.
Sato continued to smile but it was less joking and more friendly. "That's fine. We can talk some other time. We'll have plenty of time to share."
"I'd rather you just let me go home."
Sato sighed. "We can, one day, but not today."
Yukiko was feeling a little frustrated by the woman even though she understood why.
"Since you don't want to talk about last night how about we talk about what happened at lunch."
Yukiko stared off at the end of the bed.
"We will talk again tomorrow." Sato stood and left the room, taking the paper and pen with her.
Day 2
Yukiko was woken up by a knock on her door just before a female nurse entered her room. The sleeping woman stirred and looked up at the nurse groggily. There was a man watching from the doorway but she tried her best to ignore him. She was hungry, very hungry. She hadn't been this hungry in a while actually and it made her a bit nervous.
"Good morning Yukiko-san. How are you feeling today?" The random nurse asked.
*Hungry.* She signed to her.
The nurse looked a little confused. "Hm…" She glanced at a file in her hand, probably Yukiko's. "I apologize Yukiko-san, I don't know sign language."
"I see this hospital knows how to assign their nurses to the proper patient." Yukiko thought sarcastically. She pointed at the woman to get her to watch her hand and pointed to her open mouth to hopefully indicate a desire for food.
It took a few seconds but eventually the nurse seemed to have caught on. "You are hungry?"
Yukiko nodded.
The nurse smiled, relieved. "Well, please allow me to escort you to the wash room then to get a meal."
The younger woman sighed in relief at getting some food, and a trip to the bathroom. Now if she could just get a bath, change of clothes and a train ticket back to Karakura. The bathroom was as simple as it could get but it was a hospital, it's not like they would decorate it.
Once they made it to the cafeteria the nurse, and her bodyguard/orderly, left Yukiko to join the line and get her food. She waited a moment before joining the line, standing behind a woman. Someone joined the line behind her. She glanced back and saw a man. Her hand throbbed and she felt her spine crawl so she left the line momentarily. After another few people entered the line she saw a girl walking to it so she went back in just before her and after a different woman. By the time she reached the window and received her food she felt like an idiot for getting out of the line the first time. The man behind the counter handed her a tray with eggs, toast and a little plastic cup with her pain killer in it. "Take the medication here and open your mouth so I can see that you took it." He told her. She did without hesitation and then when he acknowledged that she took the pill she motioned for more food, the man said that she wasn't getting anymore. "Would it really bankrupt them to give me a little food?"
Yukiko sighed and found an empty table corner to sit at. She wasn't sure what she could do after eating but hopefully the answer was go back to sleep. She was still drowsy and could go for a nap already.
"Hey! You're new aren't you?" It was the cheerful voice of a man that asked and Yukiko kept her focus on her swiftly dwindling food.
"I saw what happened yesterday. The way you kicked Tatara's ass was awesome! Could you teach me how to fight like that?"
Yukiko felt her grip on the fork tighten.
"Oh I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Kukai. I run this place."
She still refused to acknowledge him.
"No I'm serious! This whole place belongs to me. I just pretend to be a patient to help let everyone know that the staff and I are on your side."
The man was obviously delusional, if with no other evidence than the fact that the hospital was government funded, not privately owned. "Calling it a hospital is just a farce. This is a house for crazies."
"Hey-y! Are you ignoring me?"
"Not well enough since I can still hear your question." She complained to herself.
The man reached over the table and pulled her face up so that she was looking at him. "Someone of my prestige is talking to you, you should-"
However he was going to finish his declaration wasn't spoken because Yukiko punched across the table and then yanked him down by the collar of his shirt so hard that there was a loud crack when his face made contact with the table. "They really should use tables that aren't so narrow." The stray thought crossed her mind after the fact and just before she was grabbed and injected with something again, this time in her arm.
Unlike last time when she woke up after being tranquilized, the first thing that her mind picked up on was a hollow knocking sound that occurred at set intervals. Her head was once again full of haze and she felt dull. She sat up while rubbing her eyes and tried to take in her surroundings. She wasn't back in her room this time either. She was laying on a reddish-orange daybed in a well furnished room that was full of warm colors. In front of her was a coffee table were a metronome continuously counted out beats and behind that was a large chair that matched the daybed. She also heard the muffled voice of a man from the other side of a door behind her. "I don't think you should be alone with her Sato-sensei. The girl had barely been here for more than a full day and she's attacked three different people."
"This is a hospital and she deserves to be treated like the patient she is. If you were paying attention you would know that all of the people whom she hurt were men. In the two times I had already spoken to her she was obviously uncomfortable when in the presence of men."
"This doctor is on observant one." Yukiko thought mildly impressed.
"I will be safe and she will definitely feel nothing but discomfort if you are standing over her. Besides, private sessions are that: private. Not private plus one. I will call if there is trouble." With her decision made Sato entered the room and seemed slightly surprised to see Yukiko sitting up and watching the door.
She quickly recovered though and plastered on a very nice smile but Yukiko already didn't believe it. "I'm sorry about that. You've made quite an impression on our staff you see."
Yukiko sighed and looked off to a distant corner.
"I was wondering. Would you mind telling me about your injuries now?"
She glanced at Sato and down at the metronome. Next to it sat a pen and pad of paper. She glared sharply at the doctor before looking back to the corner. No matter how much time passed Sato didn't speak again, she just waited for Yukiko to answer or not, making the room utterly silent with the exception of the beating metronome.
"I don't want to talk to a stranger like you!"
The sound of the metronome seemed to be getting louder with every beat.
"If I was going to talk to anyone it would be Nui."
The beats that came from on top of the table sounded like they were coming from inside her head.
"What happened to me isn't any of your business!"
Absolutely sick of the sound of the metronome, Yukiko threw the sole pillow that sat on the daybed and knocked the little device to the floor. There was finally silence in the room.
"Hmm." Sato hummed as if in interest and scribbled on a file in her hand. "I had been curious about something else as well…"
She growled silently at the woman. "Yet instead of asking you sat around and waiting for me to go mad from the goddamn metronome."
Sato pulled out a familiar sheet of paper, the drawing she made when she got here; the hornets in a cemetery. Now that she thinks about it that picture is probably a field day for psychologists. "What inspired you to draw this?"
Yukiko stared into Sato's eyes and held her gaze. Surprisingly the older woman wasn't backing down. Yukiko decided to give the doctor an answer, even though she cannot give her the correct answer. Besides a little bit of cooperation might get her something in return, like freedom. "I don't know. I just did it."
Sato smiled at getting an answer of some kind. "The drawing is very good, you clearly have talent. Have you ever considered doing it professionally?"
The younger woman rolled her eyes. "I already do. I paint for an open clientele back in Karakura. Before that I sold paintings on the street. But I've always painted."
"Interesting…" Sato spoke again as she wrote.
Yukiko sat and waited for the next question, possibly willing to answer depending on its direction.
"I think this will be enough for today."
{"Huh?} She couldn't help the questioning word as her jaw dropped slightly, completely caught off guard.
"There's no need to rush after all. Those were the only questions I had prepared for today. Honestly we made more progress than I expected."
Yukiko continued to stare at her, mouth open and in utter confusion. "She seriously wasted our time with questions she didn't expect to get answered."
"Was there anything you wanted to talk about?" She asked.
It took only a second for her to decide how to answer that. "Next time you send a nurse for me, give her something for me to write with or make sure she knows sign language."
Sato chuckled slightly. "I will take that into account."
"Also, I would like to send a letter to someone."
The doctor seemed vaguely surprised but nodded. "I will have the necessary material for you tomorrow. For the rest of the day feel free to explore the hospital, but please try to remember: no one here will hurt you."
Yukiko frowned but left the room. There was an orderly waiting beside the door and she slightly leaned away from him. She was free to do as she pleases so first things first. Find emergency escape routes.
Day 8
It took a few days but Yukiko had managed to familiarize herself with the building and four separate routes through which she could escape the hospital at any moment. She hadn't been approached by many other patients in the past week and it certainly helped her nerves. Unfortunately that annoying man from her second day continuously pestered her but he never made the mistake of touching her since she bruised his face and apparently broke his nose on the table. Whatever it was that got the boring looking black haired and eyed man admitted to the hospital it included narcissism and/or grandeur thoughts. He was intolerable but she wasn't sure how the staff will react if she injured him again, especially since this time it would simply be out of annoyance.
She had spent the past week trying to stay out of trouble and nothing more. Perhaps if she is good they will let her go home. Every day she spends an hour and a half in Sato's office but there usually isn't much of any communication between the two. For the most part Sato asks questions then sits in silence while Yukiko refuses to answer, or Yukiko complains about Kukai's near constant presence outside the room, or says she wants to go home. Today's session started with a new question. "What will you do once you are released from the hospital?"
There was no reason to not answer this question. "Go back to Karakura Town."
"My I ask why?"
She groaned silently. "Aren't you already?"
"Then let me ask it this way. You sent a letter to someone in a different region so why is it so important to go back to Karakura Town?"
Yukiko was a bit confused by the question. "It's where I live."
"Yes but you haven't lived there long. Only a few months correct? You lack any relatives in that city and if your interactions here have been any indicator I would venture to say you also lack friends. Why are you so fixed on returning to Karakura?"
The insinuation that she had no friends might have hurt her feeling but it was true with one exception. "I have a friend there."
"Tell me about her."
She was reluctant but at the same time she wanted to talk about Grimmjow. She wanted to share that he's real and that they had a friendship, or at least a companionship. She wanted to have Grimmjow there. Or rather she wanted to be where he was. "Grimmjow is a male."
There was a glint to Sato's eyes as she read the message. "That's an odd way to say that. How do you feel when he is around? Perhaps you would like me to contact him and request that he come visit."
"Uh-oh. That can cause problems if I can't come up with a good excuse why she won't be able get in touch with him." After a few moments of thinking she answered. Sato did already say her wording was a bit strange. "Grimmjow is a cat."
"You're friend is a cat?" The question seemed more to confirm that she read correctly than anything.
Yukiko nodded. "Yes. I picked him up on a walk. He acts a bit feral sometimes but he warmed up lately."
"I see…" She seemed to be thinking on the new information. "What is he like?"
"A bastard. He's selfish, thinks way too highly of himself, and he hates it when others touch him but will do things that are really adorable without knowing it and then attack people when they try to pet him. When he did finally become okay with me touching him he would get pissed if he started showing that he liked it by accident. He's also really stupid sometimes but other times really smart." Yukiko ran out of room in the page to write so she tore it out and gave it to Sato to read while she continued on with a new page. "He can also be thoughtful when he wants to be, but only if you don't point it out. He doesn't want to be thought of as a good-"
"Crap! A good what? Have I been describing him too much as a person? I have to finish what I was saying but how?"
"- cat. He seems to be really against being thought of becoming a lap cat." The way she ended her description felt awkward. She wondered how angry Grimmjow would be at her repeatedly calling him a cat.
Yukiko watched Sato, slightly nervous about how the doctor would react to the words. As far as she's figured out the doctor was the one who gets final say as to when Yukiko leaves and she didn't want to give her anything else that she thinks need to be treated while there.
The older woman started laughing slightly as she read. "You seemed to be very close with the little creature."
Yukiko internally sighed in relief and nodded her head yes.
"Who is taking care of Grimmjow now that you are here though?"
"He can take care of himself. I'm just worried if I'm gone too long he will move on and forget about me." She didn't realize that the concern of the man forgetting her was there but now that it was down and put into the world that thought felt crushing. Who's to say he didn't already forget about her? He's a Hollow. She doesn't really know how long Hollows live and kind of doubts anyone knows. She's pretty sure there's never been a Hollow to die of old age. They all get killed. Grimmjow is at least a couple hundred years old and who's to say he hasn't found something else to take up his attention and possibly endless amount of time.
Yukiko frowned sullenly and Sato reached out and grabbed her hand. "Would you like to finish here for today?"
Yukiko nodded yes and left the room, getting to take her paper and pen with her now. It was almost dinner time and she was starving so she decided that she'd go and wait in the cafeteria until it was time to serve food. The room was already filled with people, both patients and employees. It was a bit nerve wracking to be around so many people but she tried to get over it. She sat in an empty corner but was once again approached by the ever obnoxious Kukai. "Hey little Bunny!"
"That's not my name." She wrote in thick bold lines to emphasize her disdain for his insistence at calling her Bunny.
"Don't be like that! A silent and scared little creature like you. You're totally named Bunny."
She slammed her fist on the table and glared at him. "Who said I'm scared!?" She yelled internally.
"But it's okay now Bunny. I'll protect you for the rest of the day, plus every day after that." He winked and gave a slight salute like gesture with two of his fingers.
"But that leaves us with an important question. How long will it take before Imurder you?" Being around this man is enough to drive her into a mental state where she would then agree to needing to be locking in a crazy house.
The man leaned in a little closer; Yukiko leaned just as further away, and then he whispered to her. "Did you know that they drug us here?"
The woman rolled her eyes and wrote her response. "Obviously. The medicine is on the tray with the food."
"No, no. I mean in the actual food! They give us drugs to make us think that we are crazy when there's actually nothing wrong with us. When I found out what was happening in my hospital I was appalled but the board overruled me on the matter. They said we get more funding the more patients we have."
Yukiko almost laughed at the man. He was so delusional that it was a little funny to her. "Crazy people can be a bit entertaining."
"This is no laughing matter! They want us here forever!" He slammed on the table as he yelled.
He leaned in again and grabbed her shoulders. "Just look at you! There's nothing wrong with you and yet you're still locked up here!"
As he continued to yell Yukiko was screaming in her head. "Don't hurt him. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt him!"
Kukai shook her a bit and got even more in her face. "YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT!"
Just as Yukiko raised her fist to punch the man away he was yanked off of her and being pulled away by a large bouncer looking man of an orderly. "BUNNY! YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT!"
"Well, his crazy went past entertaining and into just uncomfortable." She shook her fisted hand vigorously to try and relax it.
The food was starting to be served so she watched the line until she saw a girl coming up behind another woman and quickly slid into the line between them. She didn't like that her impulse to stay away from men persisted but she was planning on working on it. "Maybe… If I feel like it…"
She took her food, medication, was denied when requested more food be add to the plate, sat back down and ate. She still felt tired and hungry but she could help one of those so she went to bed early that night.
Day 12
Yukiko had spent the entirety of her time between breakfast and lunch napping. She was constantly bored and hungry in the hospital so it's not like she had anything better to do. She had used her notepad as a replacement sketchbook but filled it within a period of two days and it greatly irritated the nurse when she asked for a replacement so she decided it might be best to keep the paper use to a minimum. Besides she might need it for when a vision forces her to draw. That left her with only exploring and napping as methods for passing the time. Well, she could read some of the books in the small bookshelf but not a single one seemed interesting to her and attempting to read them might make the days take longer.
Nope, she'll stick to napping. While she ate her lunch something out of the ordinary happened. "Ametsuchi-san?" It was some woman she didn't recognize.
Yukiko nodded yes in response.
"Would you please follow me? You have a visitor."
The news worried her. Who would visit her? Nui? She hoped not. Nui had too much on her plate to waste time visiting her.
The woman, whom Yukiko assumes is a receptionist of some kind, led her to a room that was closed off to the patients. It was a large and open with tables and couches scattered about with a few patients here and there that were speaking to people wearing regular clothes, visitors. The only person who sat alone was a man who was reading pages at one of the tables. Yukiko realized he was there for her when she recognized him. It was Officer Hatsu, one of the men who arrested her. She had the intense desire to punch him. She didn't, but she dearly wanted too. Maybe if it was the other officer she would have but this man was at least decent to her at the clinic.
She took a deep breath and approached him. "Ametsuchi-san!" He almost seemed surprised to see her and shot out of his seat, toppling the chair to the floor.
"I don't know if you remember me. I'm Officer Hatsu. I was…" He stuttered off, not willing to finish the sentence.
Yukiko frowned at him and wrote. "Go on, say it. You were the one who arrested me."
He swallowed and grimaced at the words. He obviously figured out the mistake that was made and didn't want say it, but she wasn't going to let him move the meeting forward until he did and she crossed her arms to show it.
"I was the one who arrested you."
With the words said she sat down and wrote again. "What are you doing here?"
Hatsu picked his chair off the floor and sat in it. "I just wanted to talk."
She narrowed her eyes. "You came a long way for a 'talk'."
He tangled and untangled his fingers repeatedly, clearly nervous. "…After you were picked up from the station we had visitor."
She crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair as she listened.
"A man, sort of…" He didn't just look nervous. He looked traumatized.
"I know it might sound crazy but I think he was a guardian spirit of some kind. He was angry and looking for you."
Now this had Yukiko's full attention. "An angry spirit looking for me?"
She smiled to him and wrote. "If I had to guess, that would be Grimmjow."
"He… He said something… Well, called Shimata something…"
The name was enough to flood Yukiko with disgust and shame. She wasn't even sure why she felt shame. There was no rational reason for it but somehow the memory of what happened brought it on.
"I looked into him. I spoke to other women he was to be taking care of. It turns out, you weren't the only one."
She looked at Hatsu with large questioning eyes.
"At first none of the other women wanted to admit it, even though they were clearly distressed by the topic, but eventually one did open up. She told me how he had been making inappropriate gestures and such then one day he attacked her in her home."
The telling of that event happing, to another girl on top of that, brought guilt to Yukiko's eyes. Hatsu must have noticed because he left it at that. "I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know, that you aren't alone in this. None of this is your fault."
Yukiko looked away. She didn't feel guilty for what happened. She felt guilty because she was saved. She was protected; the other women were clearly not.
"I also came to tell you something else…"
She took a few deep breaths before looking at him again. What other horrible topic could he possibly bring up?
"Less than twenty minutes after, um Grimmjow, visited me, Shimata passed away."
Yukiko stopped breathing now.
"I think Grimmjow killed him. Shimata was sleeping in a hospital bed when he was struck with enough blunt force to break his neck and shatter his skull. At nearly the same time a hole was created in the building's wall, like someone took a wrecking ball to it from the inside."
Yukiko started breathing again and she was smiling. Shimata was dead. Grimmjow had killed him. Yukiko was smiling and the more time the information had to burn into her mind the wider her smile became.
Her reaction seemed to terrify Hatsu. "Ametsuchi-san. This guardian spirit of yours is clearly incredibly dangerous and wild. Because of him, someone, a human, is dead. That spirit acted too fast and took away our power to bring Shimata to justice. Please for your own safety, stay away from evil beings like that."
His words made her rock with laughter. Maybe she did belong in a mental hospital.
When she was finally calm enough, she wrote to him. "You are mistaken about something. There is no such thing as a guardian spirit. There are souls that need to move on, monsters that are what they become if they don't and souls that deal with both of those types. But also, and more importantly, why shouldn't I be happy that Shimata is dead? Bring him to justice? The only judgment the matters is the one that comes after death."
Her words seemed to disturb him even more. "He wasn't a good man but that doesn't give others the right to just kill him!"
"You want me to feel sorry for the death of someone who had it coming. In your opinion Grimmjow is evil, in mine he is someone who didn't pussyfoot around what needed to be done. Not everyone deserves to live and honestly it is people like you that make things a lot more difficult than they need to be. Believing that no matter how horrible someone is you shouldn't kill them because that would make you a person who is just as bad or worse is utter bullshit. There is nothing wrong with necessary deaths."
She had never seen someone become so pale from reading anything. "You shouldn't think like that! There is no such thing as a necessary death."
"You're a new officer right? You look fresh out of school. Ask that other guy who was with you if he feels the same way. If the callous way he was behaving that night indicates anything it's that he's been dealing with scum that dress like human beings for a long time."
Yukiko could tell when he finished reading because the moment he did he slapped her across the face. She might have hit him back, the urge was certainly there but she was feeling far too cold at the moment to fall into her fight or flight response. "You're wrong and you deserve to be in here. Humans are good! Humanity is worth having faith in."
There was staff grabbing his arms and pulling him away but before they got out of reach she grabbed his shirt and tugged back to his seat while shooing them away. He didn't sit down but that was unimportant, she only had one last thing to say. "Then why did you hit me? If humans are such good creatures then why is our response to something we dislike or fear always violence?"
He read her words and it looked like something in him shattered. With the least amount of emotion he had show this entire meeting he spoke one final time. "Goodbye Ametsuchi Yukiko."
She felt satisfied as he turned and left. Satisfied and also disturbed. When had she returned to being so cynical against humanity? Did she actually hate humans now? Hadn't she always, just with some exceptions? No… She had grown to like humans since escaping her birth place. "Maybe with everything that's been happening my mind just needs to reset itself. Cycle through all the feelings then it'll be back to how it was before Shimata." Yukiko clung to that hope with the dark realization that Hatsu was right. She did, without a doubt, deserve to be in that place.
Day 19
What happened with Hatsu wasn't good but it did confirm a dear hope she held. Grimmjow got is body back, and he had been looking for her; rather aggressively at that. She wanted to get in touch with him so she decided she'd write him a letter, obviously, but couldn't settle on what to write. She was an artist in imagery not word. Trying to make a final decision on what to write was becoming a horrible conundrum that enveloped her every second. It even distracted her from Kukai's annoying personality as well as her habit regarding the cafeteria line. It wasn't until a full week of thinking of what to write him passed that she even found out that she almost behaved like a normal person; she almost behaved like she had before. The only thing it failed to distract her from was the effects of not eating enough.
It was Sato that pointed it out to her. Their daily session was early in the morning, taking the place of breakfast with the promise of eating during instead, the doctor ventured bringing the matter to Yukiko's attention. "I am curious. What is it you have been focused on lately?"
"What do you mean?"
Sato smiled. "You've been very distracted since getting a visit from the officer. I was afraid that because of how it ended you would regression into yourself and become hyper aggressive like you were when you first arrived but it seems to have left you singularly focused at all times. I want to know what you are focused about."
Yukiko flushed red. She didn't know that she was that obvious but worse she couldn't say that she was thinking about what to write Grimmjow since she already said that he was just a cat. She scrambled for something to tell the woman. "I'm trying to figure out what to write. I want to send a letter to someone but I don't know what to say. I'm not good with words."
"But you are good with pictures." The comment pulled her attention. Sato held up a picture of a horse finding a paper.
It was a vision that Yukiko had the moment she decided to write a letter. In the actual vision the horse is blue like the sky and her mane in a rainbow of colors. It was a few too many colors for one creature in her opinion but at least she was without colors at the moment she had to simply shade at a variety of depths to indicate them. The horse was in a desert under a very luminescent moon, telling Yukiko it was actually a Hollow, and a very powerful one seeing as how she saw it as an individual rather than a skeleton. It was likely an Arrancar and it left her with the impression that if she wrote her letter and sent it too Hueco Mundo an Arrancar would find it. Grimmjow said that a lot of Hollows were coming and going from Las Noches, hopefully this one will too. As a bit of encouragement for it to do so, Yukiko wrote a letter for Harribel and plans to get it to the Hollows' world together with the one that she actually cares about.
"Pictures are easy for me." She responded to the doctor.
"So, for the things you want to say in the letter but don't know how, put it into a picture. Draw the feelings you want to convey instead of trying to do something you aren't good at."
Yukiko stared at her with her wide eyes and a slack jaw.
"What is it?"
"That's the first bit of good advice you've given me."
Sato looked hurt. "Only the first?"
The girl had already stopped listening. She had started penning away on a blank page. After a few lines were complete a hand covered hers so she looked up to glare at Sato but the woman and smiling and holding up envelopes of various sizes, pack of blank lineless paper, and pencils. "Would you like to use these instead?"
For perhaps the first time in all of these meetings Yukiko genuinely smiled at the doctor. She nodded her head and signed. *Yes please.*
The pages were relinquished and the younger woman immediately returned to her room before she tore into them and got to work, for the first time she forgot about the gnawing hunger in her stomach and general fatigue in her body.
Yukiko wasn't sure what she was drawing or what she wanted to convey to Grimmjow. All she knew was that she felt safe and at peace when they were together. She was happy when they were together. Maybe that was all she needed to convey. Her hand seemed to think so as it was well into drawing her a portrait of herself. She remembered the night when she only felt good things. When she and Grimmjow were at the festival and it felt like they were together in a way they hadn't been before. That night was the happiest she had in longer than she could remember, possibly in her whole life. It only felt like that because he was with her and she saw, knew, that he was happy that night too. He enjoyed being there with her, he enjoyed seeing the lights and temple and fireworks. It may have just been through her eyes but he seemed more at peace and content that night than he had the rest of their time together as well.
It took some time but at least that's all she had in that place. When she finished the picture she was pleased. Looking at it, looking at their expressions filled her with a sense of content and peace that she was lacking with him gone. It made her laugh a little. Grimmjow had once told her how all of Arrancar that were numbered ten and lower were supposed to represent an aspect of death and dying and that his was destruction. It felt like a sick irony to her that the face of destruction itself was the source of her peace but if she gave peace to that destruction as well… "Maybe that thought is just a little too bold to believe."
Whether it was or not she wanted to go through with her plan to send the picture but she realized that it was a bit unfair of her to just send a drawing and hope that he knows how she's feeling. So she tried once again to put her feelings into words. It could be short since she had the picture but it still had to have words. She lay on her stomach on the floor, pencil sitting on the page but nothing being written. She doesn't understand. She has no problems knowing what she wants to say when face to face but writing something to be read later felt impossible. {"Face to face… If he was here right now to see me struggle I wonder what he would say."}
She could just see it. Back in her apartment, sitting on the floor under the window, watching the black cat sort through a pile of cards with various kanji to create a message. "What's your problem?"
{"I don't know how to say how I feel."} She told the imaginary Grimmjow.
"It's not all about you! I finally got my body back remember?!" The cat in her mind looked irritated at her selfish thoughts.
She laughed at him even though he wasn't there. {"You're right. How does it feel to have your body back?"}
The vision of the back cat was replaced by the transparent vision of the man she saw at the festival but he still used the cards. He frowned, irritated with her. "Don't ask it! Write it!"
She jumped a little at the forcefulness she felt from her imagination and wrote her question, even ventured to tell him that she thinks he must feel better. The thought of the lifeless image of the man wasn't leaving her mind and she wanted it to. It may be his real face but she didn't really know it. There was no life to it, it was just a projection. She muttered to herself and wrote. {"I miss having a cat Grimmjow now. I just wish I could meet him properly already. Then I wouldn't have to settle between a cat and a bad image of his real face."} She huffed at the choices. {"We'll definitely meet properly. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely…"} Yukiko couldn't continue her silent words due to a hitch in her breath. Her steady artist hand trembled and she pulled it away. She sat up on her knees and rubbed her eyes. The more she wiped her eyes the heavier and faster her tears fell. She backed further away from the pages on the floor to distance her tears from them. She didn't want him to know she's crying, didn't want her tears to stain the letter or picture.
Someone knocked on her door and opened it, the nurse stuck her head in. "Ametsuchi-san, lunch is ready."
It seemed to take her an extra second to realize the girl was crying. "Are you okay?!"
Yukiko wiped her eyes again and tried to get the woman away from her. *I'm fine. I will be there in a moment.*
She wiped her eyes one more time and smacked her cheeks to try and get herself together. The young woman collected her letters and picture and took all of it with her, perhaps if she's around other people she'll be able to keep it together better.
She followed the routine of joining the line, getting her food and sitting down at an empty corner. She didn't see Kukai and hoped he had done something to get himself in trouble so he won't be able to bother her. She ate all of her food as fast as she could and resumed her endeavor. She felt a little less stuck after crying but she also didn't have much left to express so she wrote that she hoped that he wanted to meet her too and that he was taking care of himself until then. With everything complete she placed the letters and pictures into their own respective envelopes and wrote the names of their intended recipient. She had a couple of ideas as to how she's going to get them to Hueco Mundo but both will take time so she would have to wait to send them off. She got up to return to her room to nap, she felt a little better after eating but was still fatigued and hungry.
Yukiko didn't even make it out of the cafeteria before being stopped by the receptionist woman from a week ago. "Ametsuchi-san, you have a visitor."
Yukiko frowned in unhappiness at the perspective of interacting with Hatsu again. The woman saw it and reassured her. "It is a woman this time."
The surprise was quick to come to and leave her face, feeling a difficult mixture of excitement and concern. She rushed side by side with the woman to the visitor room. Inside there was familiar woman with long legs, sleek black hair that fell to her hips much like how her own used to, and gray eyes. The woman looked like a model in her tight tan dress and multiple bracelets and rings but the most prominent decoration on her was her necklace with a large orb like bluish purple jewel. "My Yukiko-chan! Look at you, all of your hair is gone."
Yukiko wanted to frown from the comment but was too happy at seeing Nui to pull it off. {"Please don't bring that up."} She sat down and shook her head to try and shake the rational thought back in. {"More importantly, why are you here?! I sent you a message."}
"Yes and I got it. For something as large scale as what you saw Rin will be too busy to even look for us." She paused to sit and look around at the staff stationed to watch over the room then leaned in close and spoke in a whisper. "I'm getting you out of here tonight. I already have a new identity set up for you. We'll be on the other side of Japan by the time anyone here knows you're missing."
Leaving the hospital was what she had been wanting since the day she was brought there but something stopped her from immediately agreeing. {"If I escape I won't be able to go back to my life."}
Nui looked at her blankly. "What are you talking about? Your life? Your life is not getting caught by Rin or her followers."
Yukiko clenched her hands in her lap, where her letters sat, but looked away in guilt at what she was going to say. {"I want to continue living in Karakura Town."}
"That is not safe and you know it. I told you to run the moment you were caught and placed in to the government system but you didn't and look where you are. Listen to what I'm telling you now. Run away with me, tonight. I've already scouted the building with flash steps and I've found three routes you can use to escape the building. After that I'll take you out of the city and we'll start over like we used to."
The younger girl wasn't going to accept this. {"There are four escape routes out of the hospital and I'm not going to use any of them. I am staying until they release me and I'm going back to Karakura."}
"You aren't thinking clearly. You can take your time coping with what happened but not here. You'll do it with me where it's safe."
Yukiko looked back at the woman with strong sharp eyes and her expression relied nothing but strength. Her extremely limited riatsu began to make itself known around her. {"I will not. I will stay here and then I will return to Karakura where I am happy. If you are so concerned with Rin then stay clear of me. She will accomplish little with me alone so don't endanger everything we have sacrificed because you are too concerned with what might happen. Am I clear?"}
Nui visibly faltered in her thoughts. It took her a moment to bring herself to speak but when she did she was noticeably less haughty and bowed her head slightly. "I understand, Yukiko-sama."
Yukiko calmed herself and took a deep breath to try and hide the fact that she had exhausted herself with that slight display and was on the verge of panting.
"I will be leaving then."
The younger girl caught her hand quickly to stop her and held up the envelopes from her lap. {"I need you to send these to Hueco Mundo."}
The black haired woman took them and looked with curiosity. "Hueco Mundo? Why?"
{"They're a warning for the Hollow king and a message to someone I know there."}
Nui looked more confused than ever. "You know someone in the Hollow's world?"
Yukiko stuttered slightly and kind of doubted that Nui could understand her. {"So?"}
"Very well, I'll open a doorway once I leave. But is it really okay to just send them there?"
The copper haired girl nodded yes.
"Yukiko-sama I'll continue to send letters to your apartment according to the regular schedule. I'll be waiting for your reply."
Yukiko looked at her and saw that her old caretaker was smiling gently. It made her smile too. She wasn't sure when they'd see each other again and couldn't help getting back up to hug the older woman tightly. When they separated Nui held her face in her hands as she took another good look at Yukiko. "I know you tired yourself out. Please take care."
{"I'll try."} She promised.
Yukiko knew it was hard for Nui to release her and leave the room but she was proud of her for doing it. She watched as the taller woman walked through the door and was out of sight for who knows how long.
"Okay, time for my nap."
Day 34
Yukiko sat on a hospital bed, feeling half asleep. The doctor, this one being an actual physician rather than a psychologist, listened to her heart and breathing and she did her best to not fall asleep where she sat. She was being examined because the nurses noticed that she was asleep more than she was awake these past few days and, more alarming, a visible loss of weight.
She had been telling them from day one that she needed more food but they always ignored her request and this was the result. Yukiko hated to admit it but this was the farthest her condition had ever fallen. She had reached the point of only being able keep herself awake long enough to eat a meal before falling asleep again. The doctor was incredibly concerned because she had lost fifteen pounds yet he couldn't find anything physically wrong with her and he had no clue how to treat her. His current solution for her condition was to inject her with depressants so that her metabolism wouldn't burn through her energy too quickly while the kitchen prepared a high calorie and protein heavy meal for her to eat. Apparently they were finally willing to listen to her when she tells them that she NEEDS more food.
"Ametsuchi-san it won't be much longer now. I'm sorry we allowed your condition to deteriorate like this. When you were initially examined we ran blood work on you as well as a physical exam and there was no sign of medical conditions."
She wasn't listening. She was just waiting until the smell of hot food entered the room. She lifted her head slightly and saw a large plate of spaghetti with a bunch of bite sized cuts of meat sitting on top of it. It wasn't really a meal that went together but it will serve its purpose. It was a slow process but she ate the plate of food and promptly fell asleep.
Day 39
It had only been a few days of her new diet but she already had much more energy. Yukiko was no longer in danger of falling asleep while walking and had resumed her temporary suspended sessions with Sato. The woman had grown to truly worry over her and was genuinely relieved when Yukiko was able to return to her office. "Yukiko-chan, how are you feeling?"
*Better, thank you.* She signed.
"That's a relief. Please understand no one wanted you to become sick. There are often patients that wish for more food or sleep often but it never amounts to an actual problem."
*It is fine. I promise. I just need to keep eating and regain the weight.* Yukiko tried to reassure the doctor.
Sato smiled and laughed slightly. "You are a true oddity. Most people are very formal and polite to someone when they are not familiar with them and become less so the more comfortable they become with that person. You are the opposite. When we first met you had no qualms about cursing or being rude in general but now you are reassuring me."
Yukiko fidgeted a little in her seat. *I can't help it. When I'm annoyed I'll be rude. I have more patience for people the longer I know them.*
"I understand. If you feel more comfortable with me then would you perhaps be willing to finally share what happened the night you were arrested?"
Yukiko didn't quite know the sign language to properly answer so she returned to writing. "Why bother? The police already spoke to you didn't they? You don't need me to tell you what happened."
"You are correct. I do know what happened but I am not the important one here. I want you to say it for yourself."
She was taken back the reasoning. Tell what happened for herself more than anyone else? "Maybe… Maybe I should. She'll accept what I have to share since she already knows it to be true. Maybe just this once, I can tell someone."
Day 49
Yukiko sat excitedly in Sato's office. The doctor was on the phone speaking to Matoi Jun, Yukiko's building manager.
"Yes, yes. She is ready to come home. She'll be returning tomorrow." The woman listened for a few moments then spoke to Yukiko. "He said he's very excited."
The girl held up her paper with a message to rely to the man. "Would it be possible for me to live in a different room?"
Sato nodded in agreement of the request. "Yukiko-san was hoping she would be able to move into another room in your building."
After a moment of listening the woman nodded with a smile making Yukiko sigh in relief.
"He said he'll have all of your belongings moved into your new room by tomorrow."
The girl was very thankful for him for offering to have all of that work taken care of before she even got there. She quickly ran through everything she remembers in her apartment and wrote a couple of notes for him to know. "I left a charm on my table that's actually really important. Is it possible for him to make sure that is put back on the table in my new room?"
The message was relayed and Sato responded back to Yukiko. "He said it was missing by the time a construction worker went there to repair the window. He said a friend of yours was seen going into your room the day after you left."
"A friend? Grimmjow?" She thought with hope. The charm was his after all. "OH! I almost forgot!" She quickly scribbled on the paper again. "In my refrigerator there is a milk carton. That needs to be taken too. I keep money in there."
"…Really?" Sato asked before saying anything else. Yukiko shrugged off the weird look and nodded. "He said that's weird but he will see to it."
*Thank you!* She signed to not waste the paper.
"Do you have any other concerns?" She asked.
Yukiko shook her head no and Sato resumed speaking to Jun. "She doesn't have anything else that she is worried about. Yukiko-chan is very excited to be returning home." She waited and listened to the man. "Yes. Thank you for your kindness. It was a pleasure speaking to you."
She hung up the phone and looked at Yukiko. "Are you ready for your last night here?"
Yukiko nodded with a large smile. "YES!"
Day 50
It was a long day of traveling from Shikoku and she was exhausted but too excited to let it get to her. She was in walking distance from home and couldn't contain herself. Yukiko practically ran back to the apartment in the dark where waiting for her at its entrance was the manager and his wife. "Ametsuchi-san! Welcome home!" The woman called when she approached them and was embraced in a hug.
"It's wonderful to have you back Ametsuchi-san." Jun told her.
Yukiko pulled out her little pad and wrote for them. "It's so good to be back. I can't thank you enough for letting return."
"It's the least we can do for you." The woman told her.
"I've already prepared your new room. Please follow us, I'm sure you're ready to get some rest."
She nodded in agreement. Yukiko definitely wanted to turn in for the night but her happiness was making it hard for her to actually feel the tiredness. When they reached her new room, Unit 10, she was pleasantly surprised to see that both the name plates had been moved. Hers and Grimmjow's names sat in their new home. Jun held out her new key and she took it to unlock her new home. It looked almost the exact same as her old one but was a mirror of it as it was on the opposite side of the building. Her futon, table, dresser, art supplies and paintings were all arranged just as she previously kept it but something felt a little off. She took a few steps in to look around before finding what was missing.
Yukiko took strong, confident strides across the room and opened her window above the futon. "I'm home Grimmjow. Now hurry up and come. The window is open, just how we like it."
Yay Comments! (´｡• ω •｡`) :
Savage Kill: I'm sorry it took so long, I was busy with holiday stuff. Now you know why the room was empty. She just moved. Nothing horrible. I'm glad you like the story :)
Silent Songstress Sorceress: They're having a hard time but the separation a about over.
Mrs. Swordslover: First things first: never feel like you need to apologize for critiquing my story. Having the story criticized is a huge part of sharing it. I don't want to get focused on side characters myself but they are necessary for advancing plot and character growth so I hope you trust that I won't create characters that aren't needed for something. Achiim will be around for a while but he's going to be coming and going so don't be too concerned about him or Grimmjow's position as his "teacher" if you can even call him that (he barely did anything except tell the kid what to do).
Ookawa: Welcome to the story. I hope you continue to enjoy where it goes :)
Libra89: The chapter was a bit delayed because of the holidays but here it is.
Guest: I hope you came this far and enjoyed the story along the way.