Smut warning for las POV of chapter. A/N after chapter.
Chapter 21: Alone and Alone Together
Grimmjow growled in frustration while reclining in his seat. The most irritating thing about wearing a gigai was by far the requirement for him to go to Urahara to get in and out of it. He knew that Shinigami had methods of expelling themselves from their bodies anywhere but supposedly the Arrancar's use of the gigai was to be controlled. It was utter bullshit in his opinion. If he wanted to rampage he will, if he wants to relax with Yukiko he will. The Soul Society's idea that they can control him is little more than them exercising their ability to annoy the shit out of him. Three days in and they already nearly pushed him to a breaking point on the matter.
When the train pulled to a stop Grimmjow exited his seat and the subway. He stretched his cramped arms once outside but couldn't quiet get the tightness relieved due to the shell he was wearing. He shook his hands out a bit then shoved them in his pockets to hide them from the cold and continued on with a scowl and hunch. He could feel the stares of people around him and was very aware of the fact that the humans were giving him a wide breadth in his path. He lost the Arrancar features but his hair was still very blue and it was more than enough to pull attention. Their aversion saved him the trouble of unwanted interaction, except for the time an old lady yelled at him to "dye his hair back to a proper color." When he reached the apartment building another tenet was leaving, the man nodded to the now well recognized visitor but also knew better than to wait for an acknowledgment. Grimmjow went straight to their unit and opened the door to find that Yukiko was not alone. The Hollow immediately bristled and tensed to charge the male in his living space but calmed when he realized it was an elderly man and Yukiko didn't appear to be distressed.
"Oh! It's a pleasure to finally see you again," the man spoke with polite friendliness.
"What? You know me?" he asked, Yukiko also cocking her head with knitted brows.
The man nodded, "Yes though I suppose I'm not as memorable as a kid like you. I'm the building manager. We met when you were here looking for our Ametsuchi-san."
Grimmjow pulled off his shoes with a smirk, "Yeah I remember. You're the only person who's ever referred to me as 'kid'."
"Well, when you're my age even young adults such as yourself are still children."
Yukiko was shaking with a smirk, chuckling, while he held his smirk and crossed his arms. "Except I'm centuries old."
The old man laughed, unaware that it wasn't a joke, while the Arrancar sat down at the table between the humans. Yukiko started signing, *Be nice. Also introduce yourself jerk.*
Grimmjow groaned at her, "Seriously?"
She nodded and he rolled his eyes. She glared, *Do it.*
The blue haired man looked back to their guest, "My name is Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow, so quit calling me kid."
"Matoi Jun. A pleasure," the introduction was reciprocated with a polite bow. "Ametsuchi-san I'll be taking my leave now. I wouldn't want to intrude on your time with your friend."
When he was out of the unit Grimmjow spoke through his frown, "What did he want?"
Yukiko huffed as she fell backward to the floor with whiteboard in hand. From the floor she wrote to him, "He came to tell me that the rent has gone up. Something about property tax on multi-unit buildings going up."
"What does that even mean?"
The lines she wrote were thick from the marker being pushed hard, "I need to work more or increase my commission price."
Grimmjow leaned on the table, "Increase your prices. Your stamina sucks and you won't survive working more. Remember before our trip?"
Yukiko sat back up and frowned at the man, {"Or you could get a job."}
"No. Not human remember? I got other shit going on, I ain't going to do human work," he growled at the proposal.
He could see her features tighten a little, {"Excuse me for wanting some help."}
"Besides, you clearly missed it but people avoid me. Even though I look human my hair is still enough to bother people."
{"Are you getting harassed for it?} She was bothered by her own question. {"Maybe you should get a new jacket. It's still cold enough that nobody will look twice about you walking around with a hood up."}
"I don't worry about other people looking at me so don't waste your energy doing it. You'll run out and go into a coma for the next day," he teased.
She huffed but was smiling again, {"I'm not some sickly child."}
"Yeah, sure. Let me know when you can make it through a day without having to take a nap break."
Yukiko stretched at the mention of a nap as if the word triggered her to want one but then froze and looked forward blankly. She crawled towards Grimmjow then collapsed into his lap, eyes facing forward but completely unseeing. She was having a vision. The empty expression and eyes were uncomfortable to the man so he leaned back on a hand and stared out the window and placed his free hand on her shoulder, rubbing her slightly with his thumb to soothe. He waited in deafening silence for his human to stir back to life. The seconds dragged but when he felt a deep inhale under his hand he sat up again and looked down at her as she blinked and reoriented herself. "Anything interesting?"
She didn't answer but instead scooted to a more comfortable angle on his thigh and rubbed her thumb on his knee the way he was on her shoulder. "Bad one then?" he guessed.
She shrugged but he could feel the thumb rubs becoming more patterned.
"I'm not your painting boards. Get your stuff together and get to work if it's bothering you so much," Grimmjow complained.
Yukiko pushed herself up and gestured, *Sorry.* She collected her things and set out her collection of paints and wooden easel on the table and started working on a blank canvas.
"This sucks." Grimmjow groaned internally. It is so much more trouble to come to the World of the Living now that he uses the gigai but with her in a compulsive state she is completely dead to him. He went next to her and pulled her knee a bit. She glanced at him with a frown but angled her leg outwards as he wanted and he used her thigh as his pillow and started looking through the channels on the TV. He found one that was playing an action movie so he started watching it despite his intense boredom with it.
()
Yukiko sat up right and pinched in her shoulders to crack her back. She had been hunched while painting and it made her stiff. With a deep inhale she reached up with a tall stretch but realized her legs were asleep and looked down to notice that Grimmjow was too. He fell asleep watching a movie that had long since finished. She was tempted to move him off to allow her to get up and refill her glass with some tea, but decided against it. The girl had gone longer without drinking anything and it wasn't like she was particularly parched. Instead, she retrieved a fresh paint brush to start some of the finer details of the image.
The vision featured wasps and it left chills in Yukiko's spine. She had hoped her family would continue to ignore her but it was now clear that they were only biding their time with some plan. Yukiko started running the fingers from her free hand through Grimmjow's hair while she worked. His head started to tilt upwards as he woke up; he rolled himself up with a wide yawn. There was a large pink splotch on his cheek from where he rested on her leg. He looked adorable to her and she immediately pulled him into a kiss. He was lazy about it but returned the kiss. She returned to her work, the impulse to finish started making her fingers twitch. "You done yet?" Grimmjow asked.
She shook her head. He leaned on her, almost causing her to make a mistake. "What does this mean?!" he suddenly seemed invested in her picture. It was some kind of dog holding a red and white butterfly in its mouth. A street lamp casted the dog's shadow in snow but it was in the shape of a wasp rather than a canine.
Yukiko shrugged in response. It was possible that the dog was working for her family or that it helped them. She wasn't certain and confusingly it included snow despite it being the tail end of winter and the snow should start to melt. Grimmjow was mumbling in her ear, "Guess he did survive."
Yukiko pointed to the dog, {"Do you know who this is?"}
"Probably Stark," he answered.
Grimmjow had mentioned that name previously. If Yukiko remembered correctly it was another Arrancar, a powerful one, but also an apathetic one. While she didn't know the Hollow herself the short amount of secondhand knowledge suggested he wouldn't work for anyone out to lack of interest. Since her legs were freed, Yukiko got up for her drink. While she did that Grimmjow shuffled closer to the painting and had a tilt to his head. "What's the deal with his shadow?" he called.
Yukiko turned on the ceiling light, surprised at the realization that there was an orange hue of dusk bleeding into the room, and shooed him out of her spot. {"The wasp represents my family."}
"When do you think this will happen?"
{"Not sure, you know these don't really come with a calendar."}
He groaned, "I'll have to be around more until he gets here. I've been itching for a hard fight."
Yukiko huffed out a laugh, {"Is it even possible for you to be here more? You're practically my shadow already."}
Grimmjow got up and almost knocked Yukiko over. "If that's how you feel then I'll leave you alone!"
{"What are you talking about?"} she asked but he wasn't looking at her anymore.
He put on his shoes and walked up of the apartment. *What was that about?* She was completely confused.
()
Grimmjow marched out of the apartment without looking back at Yukiko. She wasn't wrong, he spent all day, every day with her. He went to and from Las Noches once a day for a few hours, either first thing in the morning or while she was working. Frankly, he didn't have his own life anymore. *It's her damn fault for being so weak and defenseless,* he reasoned. *If I wasn't around she'd probably get attacked again. Just as the bruises on her arms healed too... But fine! If she thinks I'm around too much then who am I to complain? I'll finally get some time to myself!*
He rubbed his fingers together, tensing his fist, feeling the urge for destruction. He gritted his teeth and stomped into the ground to try and release the excess tension in his body. How did humans deal with their violent urges? He wanted to tear and demolish his surroundings to the ground but allowing his instinct to control him was what he was trying to mitigate. Just as he pondered this he came across three teenaged boys surrounding a much smaller, timid looking boy. He approached the group with curiosity. While he understood the joy of a fight, it was obvious that this was just bullying. "Only cowardly nobodies pick fights with someone so weak," he growled to the teenagers.
The boys stopped and visibly trembled at the sight of the Arrancar despite his human body. One tried to hide it with bravado, "Mind your own business old man or you'll be next."
Grimmjow leaned down slightly and grinned wickedly, "If you really want to try then do your worst. You might survive."
The invitation was enough to disintegrate the bravado and the boys ran without any more threats. Grimmjow frowned at the loss of his three punching bags but was downright annoyed when the smaller boy approached him. He seemed to be wiping tears away and the man immediately made his exit before the human can try and talk to him. Fortunately, the encounter did give him an idea and he now walked with a destination in mind.
It took a bit of wondering but he did eventually find the boxing gym that he passed by previously that had the tall human. Lights illuminated the front door and dimmed lights could be seen in the room. It was so poorly lit Grimmjow almost walked past it. He walked right in and was annoyed to find it empty of people and the floor space that he remembered being lined with heavy bags was bare. He growled in frustration but before he could turn to leave a gruff middle-aged man that Grimmjow maybe saw once before. "Can't you read son? I'm closed for the night."
"What are you jabbering about?" he grumbled.
The man sighed, "The sign on my door. The one that shows I've been closed for an hour."
"Lock it if you don't want people walking in! I thought I could get a decent fight here, looks like I was wrong if you're all that's here."
"One of those huh? I don't allow fighting. This is a boxing studio. There's a difference. You think you're some big shot brawler? You wouldn't last a minute in a structured fight with rules. Just like all the other yankee brats who walk through my door." The thick annoyance in the man's voice was as entertaining as the words were insulting.
"I don't know what a fucking yankee is but I know a I could beat anyone you throw at me in a fight!" he roared.
The man seemed a little surprised. "Are you from Japan?"
"No. What's it to you?"
"Nothing. My best student is mixed but natively born. It's just odd for you to not know what a yankee is. You sound like you've been speaking Japanese your whole life at least. How old are you?" The previous annoyance in the human was being replaced by something that Grimmjow couldn't quiet place.
"Don't know," the Hollow answered flatly.
Now the man looked entirely shocked. "Are you in some kind of trouble? I get a lot of your kind of drifters wandering in here. You got money or a place to stay?"
Grimmjow felt himself erupt at the unmistakable pity in the words. "What the hell are you talking about?! I'm not some lost kid! I stay with my woman so I don't need money. I don't need anything except something to do to get rid of my damn boredom!"
The human's annoyed expression started to return. "Proud asshole huh? And what the hell do you mean you don't need money since you're staying with a woman. What kind of useless man makes his girl pay all the bills?"
"The fuck did you just say?! If it wasn't for me she'd be dead or imprisoned!"
This gave the man pause. He seemed to look Grimmjow over as he thought. He approached the Hollow with his arms crossed and circled the irate man. "You certainly look strong. Know anything about boxing?"
Grimmjow relaxed his demeanor a bit now but the tension was still there, "I know kicking isn't allowed and that you want to knock out your opponent."
"That's one way to win a match yes. Let me make you an offer. If you can move that heavy bag into the storage I'll hire you as an employee." The man indicated a lone chain hung leather sac from a metal bar protruding out of the wall as he made his offer.
"Who said I want a job?" Grimmjow thought of Yukiko's grocer employment with disdain.
"I need an employee to help me since I'm getting too old to manage all the heavy equipment myself. You have to pay money to use this studio but I'd hate to lose potential talent like you from that. You'll get pay and free access to the studio so long as I am here. We would both get what we want."
Access to the studio whenever the man was there… That was probably a good deal. Plus, he thought of Yukiko's grocer job again. She said she might have to increase her hours to pay the increased rent. "I'd see her less but at least it'd be because I actually have something to do. Whatever! I need some time away from her anyways!" His own thought left a sour taste on his tongue. "Fine; and before you call me son again, my name is Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow."
"Nakamura Kentaro. Now then, let's see if you can handle this."
With a roll of his eyes walked to the heavy bag, kicked a nearby stool positioned under an adjoining station to step up and lifted the bag from its hook. Though he didn't let it show he was surprised by how heavy the object felt with his restrict strength. "Now what?"
Kentaro smiled and started walking, "This way."
Grimmjow slung the 45kg bag over his shoulder and followed behind.
()
Yukiko sat across Grimmjow at the table, she was working on a commissioned painting while he was pretending to watch the television, leaving it on the Sunday midday news was too obvious though. She was a bit irate with the man. He had been wearing the gigai for a solid week now but he had been avoiding her in a way like no other. He spent nearly all of his time in the World of the Living but he's been leaving before she wakes up and keeping himself well occupied away from her for the past few days. Even when he was around he was different. He still kissed her sure, but now HE never allowed it to move into anything more intense. It was frustrating. He claimed the only thing stopping him before was concerns for her physical safety so he got a gigai to limit his strength to be human level. Now what was the problem?!
She stopped her work completely and couldn't focus. Yukiko picked up an apple chip from the bowl she had been picking at and threw it at the man. He looked back at her. {"Why are you still being like this?"}
"Like what?"
{"You know what I mean! Why are you-"} she stopped herself mid-question, unwilling to use the words.
Grimmjow smirked a bit. "No, I don't. What do you mean?"
{"You haven't tried anything even though you are wearing that human body. If you keep putting this off I could change my mind."}
"Alright, come here," he said flatly.
Yukiko jumped and felt jittery, glancing around the room everywhere away from the man. He crawled the short distance to her and pushed her lightly so she fell on her back, trapping her on the floor in a cage of arms and legs. He hovered his face millimeters from hers, one of his invitations for a kiss. She took it and he kissed her like he was starved. She laced her fingers in the hairs on the back of his neck and one of his hand held her waist like she might run away at any second. When fingers laced beneath the hem of her shirt she though he would snake a hand up her back but instead he pulled her top up slightly leaned back on his heels. He huffed in objection, "Nope, not interested."
In part shock but also anger, Yukiko growled and kicked him straight in his shoulder. He fell backwards hard but was laughing loudly. The woman sat up fuming while Grimmjow slowly got up, settled comfortably with a grin. "I like you aggressive. You should do it more."
Yukiko accepted the invitation and threw the handful of apple chips in the bowl at him, only succeeding in offering him a snack to catch. He was toying with her and it was infuriating. {"I'm not playing!"}
He huffed out again, this time in more of a sigh, then tossed a chip into his mouth from his lap with a growl. "His fingertips are bloody," she noted to herself and looked beside her where he had been gripping into the tatami too tightly. "Let me break it down for you. Your bruises are still healing and they make me limp. When you're all healed you'll be begging me for the restraint I'm showing you."
Yukiko exhaled in disbelief, {"With your disposition I'm surprised bruises aren't a kink."}
Grimmjow practically perked up at the subject, "Definitely. But only the right kind."
Now the woman rolled her eyes. {"Oh? So, what's the right kind of bruise?"}
He paused for a moment with a slight head tilt up and a glance to the ceiling in thought. "Come home with a black eye, purple ribs and bloody knuckles from getting into a fight and I'll jump you at the door." His grin was absolutely wicked.
{"Good luck with that. I don't like violence,"} she asserted.
"Tell that to my shoulder. Speaking of bruises, I think you may have given me one. Fuck human bodies are weak."
{"I can't argue with you there. I'm going to fall apart once my increased hours start next week."}
"What? I told you not to do that!" he growled.
{"I can't just suddenly charge a bunch of money that I wasn't before on my paintings. It will chase away clients. I increased them a bit but it still won't be enough so I also upped my hours some."}
"Tell them you changed your mind!"
{"I need to do what I need to do to keep a roof over my head! Unlike you, this is my only home!"} she silently yelled back, frustrated. He wasn't human and couldn't take the idea of money seriously, or how a lack of it could have heavy impacts on her.
"Why the hell are you getting all pissy with me? I did exactly what you wanted and got a job!"
Yukiko was stunned into deeper silence. She had too many questions to settle on one to ask first so Gimmjow resumed talking. "A couple of days ago some weird guy offered me a job at a boxing place. I get to fight people, you get extra money and we get some space. Wins all around."
Yukiko wanted to be happy but was mentally stuck on his last point. Space… "Grimmjow wanted space? He was the one coming and going so I always thought he wanted to be here."
"Anyways I get paid in 10 days so cancel you schedule increase. It's not worth it."
Yukiko nodded with a small smile. {"When are you working? I'll have to go out for a library trip or a walk around town while you're away."}
"Good, I don't want to deal with your old lady hobbies. Tuesday afternoons, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday mornings."
{"Sorry. Aren't you the one who's some unknown hundreds of years old, grandpa?"} she snarked.
"Well according to every adult human who talks to me, I'm a kid," he spoke through a grin.
{"Act your age and they'll stop treating you like a child."}
"Act your age and maybe you'll stop feeling like a decrepit bag of bones."
{"You try living while in a constant state of losing reiryoku,"} she complained.
"I did. It was my entire time as a Hollow before becoming an Arrancar," Grimmjow responded smugly.
{"No one likes a show off,"} Yukiko said quickly.
If Grimmjow picked up on what she said he skipped responding to it completely. "Why the fuck are you losing reiryoku doing nothing?"
Yukiko looked away rather than answer. It wasn't a perfect expression of her thought but she signed an approximation, *I broke my soul.*
"Why'd you do something stupid like that?"
*To hide,* she continued to sign, not trusting that she can speak coherently enough for him to understand.
"That's bullshit. You keep talking about how much you don't want them to find you but you don't want to do anything about them already knowing you're there. Either you're scared of them or not."
Despite his words there was no judgement, just annoyance. It made it a bit easier for Yukiko to talk. {"As long as my soul is broken I'm fairly useless to them. They'll leave me alone. I'm just scared of what will happen if something changes and she decides to take me back as is."}
Grimmjow rested his elbow on the table to lean and get more comfortable, "You're scared of a woman? I thought your issue was men."
Yukiko felt low herself lower as she spoke, {"I'm scared of the woman who gave men free reign over me."}
Grimmjow's eyes flashed and he leaned forward. "It wasn't just one guy?! You were being attacked by multiple people?!"
Yukiko coward inwards, scared of this new reality. Grimmjow understood that she was traumatized but it didn't occur to her that she never actually talked to him about it. That he didn't actually know any extent of what her life was before escaping. She wasn't sure how different he felt about their situation now that he had more information. She looked at him and he sat back down but his eyes were looking to the door, to an escape from the situation. She didn't want him to go but was certain he didn't want to be present for the ride of her emotions. *You can leave.*
"Why?!" he snapped at her.
{"You want to,"} Yukiko said before getting up and stepping into the bathroom so she could be alone. As soon as she closed the door she could hear glass shatter and within a few seconds after the door slam shut. Yukiko took a deep breath and slid down the door, {"Please don't leave me alone."}
()
Gimmjow left the apartment and went straight to Urahara's shop. By a stroke of good luck the blond man wasn't in at the moment so the female brat released his soul from the gigai. He went straight to the ruins that Riverra used as his territory only to remember when he arrived that the other man was still in Las Noches. He tried to be in and out but ended up staying to bond with Achiim, natural Arrancar were rare after all and two in one place was unheard of. Grimmjow looked around in disappointment and caught sight of a butterfly crest, apparently the Ametsuchi crest. The rage within Grimmjow bubbled over and with a roar fired a Cero into the tattered flag. Watching the crest burn into nothingness felt good, like pulling at a thorn. …Good but not enough. He released another Cero, and another and another. He blasted at every remnant of the cursed clan that tormented his human. With every pieced of rubble that was blasted into nothing he felt the thorn being wobbled and tugged even more. The pulling made his rage more overwhelming, being aggravated but never satiating his need. He shifted his hands for claws and dug into his palm so his Reiatsu can mix with his blood. "Gran Rey Cero!"
He blasted the whole of his surroundings, obliterating even the sand and whatever ruin was buried beneath. Only once there was nothing left did Grimmjow stop to breath. He heaved through his rage and felt somewhat better. He wished he could demolish through all those people that tried to destroy Yukiko the way he did their ruins.
He sat down in the glassy, melted sand and simmered in his emotions. "Who the hell is the woman that she was talking about? Why the fuck did she tell me to leave?!" That was probably what pissed him off the most. Being told to leave. Did she really think that he wanted to leave her alone? Sure, he wanted to leave, but not her. He wanted to escape himself. She coward to him. Of all the times they were together he never scared her without it being a trigger. It made this destruction feel unfulfilling. He couldn't relieve himself of the feeling with obliterating the buildings. He felt a familiarity with the sensation he was experiencing. It was similar to what he felt when Yukiko was arrested. This one he could guess though. He was feeling guilt. He felt guilty for scaring Yukiko.
The newfound understanding of what he was experiencing left Grimmjow feeling suffocated by the surge of emotions. Guilt which led to rage at his mistake and disgust that he cared at all. He felt himself heaving through the breathing again. Desperate to move, and escape his inner turmoil he drew his sword; the Arrancar raked his nails down the length of the blade and roared his Resurreccion release, "Grind, Pantera!"
The transformation helped release some of his pent-up energy but it certainly still wasn't enough. With his increased speed he ran through the demolition sight and across the icy sand. He pushed his limbs as fast as they would move without cheating with a Sonido. To try and release more of his emotions he blasted out multiple series of Garra de la Pantera, uncaring of the destruction they left in his wake.
When he arrived to Las Noches he opened his Pesquisa and searched for Riverra, trusting the man to agree to a fight without argument as the females would. Riverra was in the desert with Achiim. He dashed forward on all fours, circling around the palace's main building until the two Arrancar were visible. Initially, the boy's face lit up at the sight of the blue haired man but he immediately became unsettled. Riverra slightly turned himself in a more protective position in front of the child, "What's wrong Grimmjow?"
"Fight me!" he roared.
"Achiim, leave us for the time being," the tanned Arrancar said.
As the boy ran off with a couple of Sonidos Riverra drew his sword and plunged it towards his own heart, "Sacrifice, Leopardus!" The moment the transformation finished Grimmjow charged forward with a swipe of his claws, Riverra side stepped and rammed his paw into the panther's stomach. Grimmjow felt himself snarl before biting into Riverra's arm. In response the man roared and punched his face. Grimmjow felt an odd sense of relief from the strike. He held strong and was punched again. He smiled as he dug his fangs in deeper. The third awaited strike never came. Instead, he received a pat on the head. Grimmjow stood upright at the gesture and yelled, "What the fuck was that?!"
Riverra was uncomfortably calm for someone in a fight, "I think you want something and it isn't a fight."
"No. I want a fight, that's why I came to you!"
"Then why are you letting yourself get hit?"
Grimmjow didn't have a response.
Riverra released his Hollow form and gave him another pat. "When you wish to fight me for the joy of battle then I will happily take you up on it. Until then I'm sorry, I won't fight you."
"Don't act like a bitch! I want you to fight me so fight me damn it!"
"No," he responded bluntly.
Grimmjow growled, ready to lung to the man but restrained himself when Riverra opened his mouth. "Fighting when you don't truly wish to win makes you weak in battle."
Grimmjow sighed as he rubbed his bleeding cheek and released his form. "Fine. But pet me again and I'll rip your hand off."
Riverra chuckled, "You must admit, your hair is fluffy."
"Never say that again," he said as he walked into the palace.
The blue haired Arrancar slunk away to be alone. He could hear noises around the hall and recognized the sound of the three Fraccion women talking amongst themselves and took the long hall to avoid them. Within the hall of his section of Las Noches Nelliel was waiting for him. Grimmjow deliberately glared forward and passed without acknowledging her, hoping she would take the hint and leave him be but the footsteps that followed him proved she didn't. "Go away," he commanded without averting his gaze from his destination.
"You seem off. Are you okay?" she asked.
"Fucking peachy."
"You curse more when you are upset," the woman pointed out.
"Nelliel, unless you are about to tell me that you will fight me I don't want to hear another word from you." Grimmjow could hear the exhaustion in his own voice.
With a Sonido the green haired woman was in front of him, worry evident on her face. "I won't talk if you will. Something has upset you and I want you to feel better."
Grimmjow shouldered past her, "Why?"
"It was nice seeing you happy. Unfortunately for both of us I am your friend and I want you to be happy."
"Go suck Harribel's dick, not mine," he growled. The moment he finished his comment a fist connected with his bare cheek and sent him into a wall. Grimmjow rested in the crater for a few seconds before pulling himself up, brushing off the dust from his jacket, and looked at the woman glowing in anger. Within a couple of seconds though she took a deep breath and the pressure she was emitting quietened.
"Instead of trying to make others angry, you need to work through whatever you are feeling."
"Feel, feel, feeling… Can you shut your god damn mouth about feelings?!" Grimmjow roared.
"For all your faults you have always been honest about your feelings. But now that you are feeling more than about three things you are holding them in, its not good. You are a passionate creature Grimmjow, you need to express what is inside you."
"You want to know what I feel? Fine. I'm PISSED!" Grimmjow could feel the bubbles of everything within boil over as he fists trembled. "I don't want to be here but I have to because Yuki is scared of me. I want to break and destroy everything! I want to destroy the assholes that pass by me in the World of the Living. I want to obliterate every trace of the war from Hueco Mundo."
"Grimmjow-" Nelliel tried to interrupt him for some reason, but if she wanted him to talk then he was going to talk.
"I want to destroy myself! All I can do is hurt Yuki even though she's the first thing I don't want to. I hate that I'm feeling everything and it's too much! I want to devour her until there's nothing left because anything less doesn't feel like it's enough. I don't want any of this! I don't want to feel any of these things and I don't want to want Yuki but I do and I can't stop it." He reached forward and grabbed Nelliel's arms. "If you are so smart and want me to be happy then tell me! Tell me how to stop feeling so much!"
The woman's eyes stared widely at him in shock. After she didn't say anything for a few seconds he released her and turned to go back to his room, not blind to the blood prints his hands left on her white shirt.
"I envy you," Nelliel nearly whispered.
Of all the things that could have come out of her mouth she chose something shocking enough to make the man stop.
"You are changing. Evolving further in a way none of us know. I want to be whole, to be a complete person. Your inability to mitigate your feelings… I should have guessed that they would lead to you being able to grow into something new and more human."
"I don't want it. You want to be more human, then take my flesh and my power. Because I don't. I don't want to be human," he offered his arm out to the woman.
She hesitated but when she did move she placed a hand on his wrist and guided the arm back down. "Take more pride in your power. If you don't then I will take it from you by force." She released him and stepped out of his personal space before resuming, "Talk out what you're feeling with Yuki. When they are overwhelming, talking them out works much better than destroying things. There are somethings that you will never be able to settle without talking. Plus, honestly, I wonder if you actually scared her. It would be a bit surprising for her to now be scared of you after all this time."
Grimmjow growled at her advice but did consider it. "Don't call her that. Only I get to call her Yuki," he eventually said.
()
Yukiko laid in silence on her futon. She was supposed to go to work in a few hours but she didn't think she would be able to. She hadn't slept that night, and didn't have an appetite. Was it possible for loneliness to cause illness? She felt exhaustedly weak but couldn't convince her body to get up or fall asleep, stuck in a perpetual state of self-neglect. Grimmjow left after she told him to and didn't come back the entire night. It was the first night they hadn't been together since the fake mission he was given to find Starrk.
She stared at the painting she created recently, a promise of Starrk appearing, and hoped that it would be soon. If he showed up, Grimmjow would come back immediately to fight him. Though the painting indicated trouble for her so she should be better prepared for a fight first.
"Is he coming back; if so, when? How would he behave when he returned? Would he tell me he doesn't care about my history being more than he had reason to believe? Would he tell me it bothers him? No, he probably wouldn't bring it up at all…" Yukiko buried her face in her pillow in hopes it would swallow her whole and sooth away her fears. "Grimmjow was talking about getting some space between us. Maybe this was all he needed to convince himself that he shouldn't be here?"
A tear in space alerted her to an opening in the world just in front of her a few seconds before the air opened up like a mouth. Grimmjow stepped through, looking a bit haggard himself. Yukiko sat up at the sight of him, flushed with relief. He looked her up and down before speaking, "You look like shit."
Yukiko couldn't help a smile, {"You too."}
He stepped out of the Garganta and crouched in front of her. "I'm home," he spoke cautiously, lacking his usual assertiveness.
The woman launched herself into his chest and hugged him tightly. {"Welcome home,"} she spoke despite knowing he wasn't going to know she said anything.
"What? Missed me already?" there was more energy in his voice now.
She wasn't ready to release him so she nodded her head. She felt the tips of his fingers rub the back of her head when he finally returned the hug. He wasn't in a gigai so there was no telling what kind of bruises she was going to have but she didn't care. His arms were easily the safest place she had ever known. "Gotta say, I thought you were going to give me a very different reaction."
Yukiko pulled away, just enough to communicate; still keeping her hand clutching his jacket. {"Why would you say that?"}
He remained silent for a few breaths, looking conflicted. He looked her directly in the eyes and took a breath but finally answered. "I scared you."
Yukiko felt panicked and started vigorously shaking her head but had to stop to talk. {"No way! When? You've never scared me!"}
"Last time I was here! You coward away from me," he sounded worked up immediately.
{"NO! I don't remember every second of yesterday's conversation but I know you didn't scare me! I was scared about something else,"} she argued.
"Seriously? Scared of what then?"
Now it was Yukiko's turn to hesitate. She tightened her grip as much as she should, trying to anchor herself to him, or rather him to her. {"I was worried your willingness to be with me changed. We, I, never actually talked about my past. You don't know any details and didn't know how bad I really am. You were already talking about getting space between us, I was scared you would start to feel disgusted or burdened by me."}
"Fine then," he stated vaguely.
{"Fine what?"}
"Tell me everything! Right now!"
His demand left her dumbstruck. {"No!"}
"Why the fuck not?!"
{"You have no idea what you're asking for!"}
"That's my point! You were nervous about telling me your family has a history with Hueco Mundo and now your scared that your past is going to run me off. You're exhausting! Just tell me everything you are worried about now and get it out of the way!" he argued.
Yukiko opened her mouth to say something, anything. A refusal or maybe a piece of her past. But nothing formed into a cohesive word or even thought. Grimmjow's gaze was focused, possibly attempted to decipher if she actually communicated anything or not. The blue eyes finally left her face to look down at her hands, their grip released and she was rubbing her thumbs in soothing circles. She shook her head, the motion pulling his focus again. {"I can't. There's too much, too difficult to say."}
"Look, we can't keep going if you constantly scared about something. That sucks for me! I like you not scared of me and want to keep it that way."
His admittance warmed her. She buried herself in him like she previously did her pillow, only he succeeded in soothing away most of her worries while the fabric failed miserably. She wanted to rise to the occasion for Grimmjow. He wanted to prove that he wasn't going anywhere, at least not because of something that happed to her in her past. But it was too hard to say. "How do other people deal with their trauma? How do others confront their fears and talk when the words are too difficult to say?"
"Fine! Don't say anything! But for the record, I don't want space, I thought you did. That's what it sounded like when you complained that I'm always around," Grimmjow grumbled at her when she didn't give a response.
{"I complained? I'm sorry. I can't think of why I would, I hate it when you aren't around. I was so upset you weren't here last night I could eat or sleep,"} she admitted with an embarrassed smile.
"What! You dumbass! Take care of yourself! I don't need you looking like you did when you came back from the hospital."
"The hospital… I forgot!" A certain memory jumped out to the forefront of her mind at the mention of that building.
She got up to go find a sketch book but Grimmjow grabbed her and practically threw her back into the futon. "Do that shit later! Sleep now!" he ordered.
{"Fine but only if you come here,"} she bargained.
The man sighed, "Stay there."
He dug through his draw in the dresser and disappeared in the bathroom. She heard the water running so she did as he told her and remained on her bedding, pulling the blanket over her but excitedly anticipated her incoming companion. The shower lasted a very long 10 minutes but when Grimmjow came out he was rubbing his wet hair dry and all his grime and blood was gone, though his cheek was clearly bruised. Yukiko shuffled back a little and lifted the blanket expectantly. The man crawled in and clung on to her as he always did when they went to bed. She felt like she was where she was supposed to be and easily caught the sleep that had eluded her the past night.
It was a peaceful, dreamless sleep. When she woke up it was still light and Grimmjow was peacefully resting around her. She wanted to remain there forever but as soon as she closed her eyes again her stomach screamed at her. Yukiko frowned at herself but pushed up and slipped out of the man's limbs, then over him and towards the kitchen. She dug through her refrigerator and pulled out the random items of food that she had and settled to make omelet rice. Grimmjow started moving around and she saw him sit up, releasing a yawn and looking half asleep. The sight made her smile. He walked up behind her and looked over her shoulder to see what she was making. "Smells good."
While the rice was cooking she looked at him stare at the food, she saw his bed head and couldn't resist stroking it. He stared at her and jerked his head away, "Stop."
{"Why? Your hair is fluffy, I want to touch it."}
"Seriously? You too?"
{"Me too what?"} she asked confused.
"Riverra said that too," he complained.
{"You're taking compliments as insults again."}
"I know it's not an insult, I just don't like it."
She frowned a little, {"I won't call you fluffy so can I stroke your hair?"}
"No."
Yukiko frown more now, {"You liked it when I pet you when you were a cat."}
He frowned and growled a little, looking away.
She inched around to in front of his face, {"Please?"}
He darted his eyes away but faced the stove again, draped an arm around her should and rested his chin on the other one. "You're making me a share of food too," he demanded.
She stirred the ingredients together and pet his hair triumphantly. Eventually he did have to get off of her so she could step around the space and finish cooking. When the food was nearly done Grimmjow poured their drinks and sat down at the table. Yukiko brought the plates over and they started to eat, the food felt amazing in her empty stomach. A couple of bites in though Grimmjow said something startling, "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Yukiko froze and stared at him for a moment before panic shot through her. She looked back at the clock, 5PM. {"Damn it… My shift is already over. I'll have to talk to them tomorrow."}
"Who cares? Not like you were in any shape to be leaving the apartment."
After they ate Grimmjow stood up and changed back to his Arrancar clothes, "I'm going to go get my gigai."
Yukiko nodded and cleaned up the dishes then sat down with one of her empty sketch books and took a deep breath. She was going to do as Dr. Sato once instructed, draw the feelings she wanted to convey. Only it wasn't feelings that she wanted to convey; it was facts. She wasn't sure where to start. Grimmjow had requested she tell him everything that she was scared would cause him to leave. "Start from the beginning," she demanded from herself. "But which beginning? Mine or the very beginning?"
She scratched her temple with her pen, "Very beginning. Context is important."
With the decision made she started drawing from the beginning of everything. The beginning of her clan and creation of the human god.
()
When Grimmjow returned Yukiko was pages deep in a book drawing. He glanced at her current page and saw a picture of Yuki in a yukata watching a man with a top not and hakama swinging a wooden sword, looking down at a yet defined short structure. "What's going on there?"
{"It's part of the story."}
"What story? You coming out with a book now?"
{"My story. I hope having this will help me tell it to you,"} she said. {"I'm not going to be done anytime soon though."}
Grimmjow sat down and rested his cheek on a fist. He didn't want to eventually get answers, he wanted to get though this obnoxious part of their relationship now.
"Hey Yuki," he called to get her attention back.
When she stopped again to look at him he continued. "The woman who scares you the most is you mom isn't it?"
He saw the answer in her suddenly shrunk posture before she nodded.
"Just wanted to know." Grimmjow got up again, retrieved a prepacked bag from beside the bathroom and went to the door. "I'm going to the boxing gym. I'll see you later."
She seemed to lean towards him when he opened the door, probably wanting to say something. "You want to work on that so do it now. When I come back you aren't allowed to have any books or paints; you'll only be allowed to pay attention to me!" he declared.
A grin immediately spread across her face so he took that as an agreement.
When he returned to the gym he was met with a few nods and a happy welcome from a woman, all were ignored, and went to the locker room to change. He wrapped his knuckles, something he learned was important for human hands, and started punching an open heavy bag. He bounced around, keeping light on his feet to try and make it more strenuous then actually necessary. He wasn't interested in a "work-out" he was just interested in the fun of punching something and adjusting to the human body. Since spending time in the gym he found that his strength was uncomfortably reduced, and that the longer he didn't move around in it the stiffer it became.
His strikes were harder and harder the more into the activity, when one punch swung it enough to scrape the wall a voice shouted out at him, "Take it easy Grimm! If you damage that you aren't getting paid!"
Grimmjow huffed at his boss' warning as he caught the bag to stop its momentum. A cocky boy who looked barely old enough to wipe his own ass approached him. "How about throwing a punch at an opponent who can actually hit back? Give your knuckles a break from making contact," he snickered.
Grimmjow smirked dangerously and lifted a fist but paused when a dark, muscular hand was put on his shoulder and started walking him to the ring. "Remember to keep the fighting in the box Grimmjow," Sado spoke cautiously.
"Right, right. Would suck to get kicked out of the only place in the World of the Living that I'm applauded for beating the shit out of people in less than a week," he amended to himself.
The kid climbed in on one corner while Grimmjow entered the other. Kentaro approached from the side with arms crossed. When he glanced between them, the Arrancar saw a slight shake to his head, looking annoyed. "Begin!" he announced.
The kid bounced over, probably thinking he looked fast but to Grimmjow he just looked like a rabbit hopping around. The blue haired man only took two steps and when his opponent was within distance threw a simple right hook that not only connected but knocked the boy out before he could pull back a hand for his first strike.
"Match!" Kentaro shouted, sounding annoyed. "Someone get this waste of space off my canvas," he shouted to his one employee that wasn't Grimmjow.
The Arrancar leaned on the ropes towards the gym owner. "What the hell old man? I thought you were all about only having real fighters."
He sighed, "I'm also interested in keeping my lights on so I can't always refuse nobodies. I was hoping his attitude can translate into some skill; maybe when he wakes up he'll start taking this seriously."
Grimmjow couldn't help the snicker that escaped him, "Hopefully he never talks to me again."
Kentaro now smirked, "Seeing as you are already in the ring how about we see how you stack up against my best?"
Rather than answer the question both of the men looked intensely at Sado. He looked between the two men then nodded, "Yeah, alright."
"Now you're willing to fight me huh?" Grimmjow was excited.
"Now I don't have to worry about you killing me by accident," the man quietly said as he slipped gloves on.
"What? You really think I'm weak enough to kill on accident?" he challenged.
"Enough! Get to your corners!" Kentaro shouted. They both obliged. After a few seconds the order to begin was given and both men approached the center of the box. Being the more energetic of the two, Grimmjow made the first punch which Sado pushed away and countered with his other hand. The Arrancar blocked. Due to the gigai, Sado human punch felt like a high ranked Espada punch; it made Grimmjow all the more excited. When both men pulled their fists back in Sado started sidestepping, pulling them in a circle as Grimmjow mirrored to keep his opponent in front of him.
The human made to throw a straight punch but it was a feint for an uppercut. Grimmjow leaned away and punched the extended arm. The strike sent his gloved fist into his own shoulder, leaving his face open, which Grimmjow took full advantage of. He threw the same right hook that knocked his last opponent out but Sado slipped away and punched into Grimmjow's ribs. He bent at the hit and stepped away to recover. When the giant man stepped to follow the Arrancar made two consecutive jabs to cause the man to block then an uppercut to get under the block, making solid contact with a chin.
Sado stumbled and knelt on the floor of the box. Grimmjow was going to take the opening for a free strike. "Stop!" Kentaro shouted. "Striking while your opponent is on the canvas is grounds for immediate disqualification!" he told him.
Grimmjow growled, there were those dumbass rules that made boxing difficult. It took a few seconds but Sado did stand back up and nodded to Kentaro. "Resume!" he announced.
Slightly surprising, Sado took the initiative and made the first strike. Grimmjow leaned away then punched for his opponent's face. Sado crouched just enough for the strike to slip over his shoulder and landed a strong haymaker in Grimmjow's right cheek, where he was still bruised from Riverra. The hit left him jarred, though still standing, allowing the darker man to punch into his abdomen, where his deep set bruise was. His coughed at the hit but was able to refocus enough to throw another punch into the man's sternum and give him some breathing room. Sado heaved at the punch to his chest and while the two men breathed out their pain the fight was called. "Time!"
"What the fuck?! The fight isn't done!" Grimmjow roared.
"Each match has a time limit and this one is up. Since this is just a spar I cut it off at two minutes. In a real match there are three, three minute rounds," Kentaro explained.
"You're really making me hate this boxing shit," Grimmjow grumbled.
"Too bad. Sado won on points, 4 to 3."
"Are you shitting me?! How can you say anyone won? We're both still standing!"
"This is a sport not a death match. You'll get the hang of it, and win me many matches," the old man laughed.
Sado walked closer to the Arrancar and spoke, "Don't worry about it. We both know in a real fight you'd win. It's fun to fight on equal footing though."
The human was a competent fighter. Frankly, while Grimmjow was confident he would win, he was more interested in a real fight with the Fullbring warrior.
The man tapped the Arrancar on his shoulder with a gentle fist, "Thanks for the match. I should get going though."
The blue haired man ignored him and fumed over his loss, "Stupid fucking rules…" He grumbled his way through pulling his gloves off, sitting on the edge of the box.
At the sound of the door opening Kentaro greeted someone, "Can I help you miss?"
There was no answer but he could hear steps approach them so he looked up and was surprised. "The hell are you doing here?"
Yukiko waved almost shyly to him. Kentaro jabbed him in the same spot that Sado had previously punched. "That's no way to speak to a lady."
Grimmjow growled out as menacingly as possible, "Fuck off, she's mine!"
The girl in question looked like she was giggling at the exchange then grimaced overtly and poked the man's bruised face. It probably looked worse than when he left. He tapped her hand away. "Don't. Seriously, what are you doing here? I thought you would be working on your drawings until I rip your book out of your hand."
To his annoyance, she used her hands to talk, *Taking a break.*
Kentaro visibly stuttered slightly at the sign language, "I didn't realize your girlfriend was deaf."
Yukiko glared at him at the comment. Her anger was amusing to Grimmjow, "She's not. It pisses her off that people assume she is though." She nodded along.
"I apologize," the older man seemed at a lose on how to proceed.
A random woman in a sports bra and leggings approach with a clear attitude, "Excuse me miss. This is a members only gym. Unless you are interested, leave." Grimmjow probably heard that voice before but could care.
"It's okay Akako, this is Grimm's girlfriend," Kentaro tried to reason.
The woman scoffed and the Arrancar wanted to throw her in the wall. Now he knew why he knew that voice, she tried to talk to him every time he was there. She happily welcomed him when he entered that day. Now she was going to throw bitchiness at Yukiko. Fuck her. Judging from furrowed expression, Yukiko was feeling annoyed by her already.
"I don't care! This is a place for hard work. Blood, sweat and probably in this puff ball's case, tears. Not somewhere to go and flirt," the woman argued.
Grimmjow glared at her. "Shut your fucking mouth. I will beat this shit out of you if you make another noise."
The woman immediately stopped talking, looking unsettled.
Yukiko starting signing, pulling his attention. *Please don't hurt her. She doesn't bother me.*
"Yes she does," Grimmjow refuted.
She lifted her hands again but froze when the woman started talking again, "Grimm, why are you wasting your time on a defect like her?"
If he wasn't in his gigai the ring ropes and woman in front of him would both have been disintegrated by a Cero in that moment. He jumped down ignoring Kentaro yelling at the woman to apologize and for Grimmjow to walk away, but stopped in Yukiko stepped in front of him. There was a look to her face that made the man hold with interest. {"Maybe I should be interested in boxing."}
The suggestion made him grin. She turned and stood beside him closely, allowing him to talk for her. "Yuki wants to try out boxing. So how about giving her a test run?"
Akako looked pleased, "Happily."
"Wait, wait! This is needs to stop. Akako, you cannot do this," Kentaro spoke panicked.
"Why not? She's challenging me."
"Yeah, why not?" Grimmjow added.
"At least let me give her some equipment," he demanded, seeing that he would not be able to prevent what was happening.
Yukiko shrugged and the gym owner ran off to his back office. When he was gone Akako crossed her arms and smiled smugly. "I've gotta say Grimm, I'm surprised you'd throw someone you supposedly care about into a fight."
"Who the fuck are you and why the hell do you think you know anything about me?" he responded, making Yukiko shake with laughter. The question seemed to annoy the other woman. Any further risk of talking was ended with the return of Kentaro with a small pair of gloves, workout tape and a packaged mouth guard. "Here, put these on for her," he told Grimmjow.
Yukiko smirked slightly and turned to the Arrancar, holding her hands out expectantly. He took her hand and started wrapping the tape, unable to contain his grin. Akako groaned in disgust while she climbed into the ring. Yukiko climbed up, flowy skirt draping behind her as she did. She turned back to Grimmjow who nodded to the opposite corner from the other woman. Kentaro stepped forward, "Yuki-san, you need gloves and a mouthguard."
"Fight!" Grimmjow shouted immediately after.
Akako looked confused but Yukiko sprinted forward and slid to the floor, sweeping the other woman's legs with a kick. She got up fluidly and watched the boxer on the floor. The woman got to her knee, looking enraged and shaking her head. "If that's how you want to play…" she growled as she removed her gloves.
Once both were off Akako threw them at Yukiko. When she ducked the gloves Akako threw a leaping haymaker, making contact with the left side of Yukiko's face. Grimmjow growled, unfortunately only now actually noticing that the boxing woman was significantly more muscular than his slightly artist. Obviously…
Akako made for another punch but Yukiko slipped in her space, kicked her leg behind the larger girl's knee and rammed her elbow upwards into her chin. The action completely throwing her off balance and again sending Akako to the floor of the box. She tried to get back up but was shaky. Yukiko looked ready to punch her on the ground but instead waited, giving her a chance to get back up. Akako squeezed her eyes shut and instead rolled on her back, cradling her forehead, like she was nursing a terrible headache. In an unexpected show of arrogance, Yukiko leaned over the woman and waved with a smirk. Kentaro ran onto the ring to check the girl on the floor while the winner got off.
Grimmjow grinned proudly, "Nice show. Unnecessary savage looks good on you."
Yukiko smiled but it immediately faded. She touched her eye gingerly, and made an annoyed sigh, {"Fuck."}
"Looks hot," the Arrancar purred.
She rolled her eyes at him and frowned. {"Those bitches are not going to let this go…"}
"What?"
{"At work. A couple of the girls there, mostly one, won't shut up about how they think you beat me up. Now they are really going to lay into their fantasy of me being a battered woman."} She looked like she would be speaking in a growl.
"Get better so you won't get hit by such an obvious attack," he scolded.
{"Next time you should fight me so I won't get hit in the face."}
Grimmjow smirked. "Next time huh?"
Yukiko nodded a bit, looking a little uncomfortable. {"You're always slowing down for me, I should speed up for you too."}
The man was unable to contain his grin, "You're really asking for it."
"Save the flirting for when you're alone," Kentaro interrupted. "I'm going to pretend this didn't happen since Akako instigated it but," he looked at Yukiko, "you start another fight like that in my gym and both of you are never setting foot in here again."
The woman nodded in agreement and gestured an apology.
"She might have a concussion so I'm going to have someone take her to a clinic," he informed.
"Take her or don't we don't care. We're going home," he declared.
Yukiko didn't immediately follow; she actually looked a little worried so he lifted her over his shoulder. "Never feel bad for winning a fight dumbass! I'll get my stuff tomorrow when I come back," he told the gym owner.
"Sure."
The pair left the gym without Grimmjow putting her down or talking to her at all.
()
Yukiko was nervous about what was coming. Nervous, but excited. She knew what she was doing when she walked into the gym, though it didn't go anywhere near how she hoped. Surely Grimmjow had a vague idea too. He said it himself, he liked her aggressive and he wanted to see her bloodied and bruised from a fight. {"Whatever you do, don't back down now!"} she commanded to herself.
When he got them to the apartment Grimmjow finally put her down. He fished out a rag, ran cold water over it and put it on her face before pulling his shoes off. Yukiko rung out the rag and put it down to take off her own shoes. It had gotten dark by then so the Arrancar closed the curtains. Something about the silence was strangely calm. She walked over to him and rubbed his uninjured cheek, when he looked at her she leaned up and kissed his bruised cheek. Grimmjow wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her throbbing eye.
He moved to kiss Yukiko with shocking patience. She was certain he would act with urgency but instead he was going slower than she wanted. He leaned into her and caused the pair of them to lay down on the futon but then left her mouth and kissed down her neck while his hands ran along her scalp just behind her ears. The man pulled away from her a bit and extended out her arm, grazing his lips across its length and gently nipped at her wrist while looking at her. Yukiko didn't know what she could do or say, she was held captive in Grimmjow's burning blue eyes. She eventually stroked his cheek with her fingertips but he released her hand and moved to her stomach.
He lifted her top until was bunched on top of her breast and gently stroked the underside of one while he licked his down her abdomen from the other. When he got to her skirt waist he pulled it up and resumed his trail from the top of her thigh.
Yukiko was experienced but not like this. She had never experienced a pleasant fire from being touched. "Don't panic. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic," She begged herself. Feeling the tension rise as she tried to convince herself to remain calm.
"Yuki," Grimmjow spoke clearly, calling her out of her own head.
With her distracted from her own panic he resumed his exploration of her thigh, gently rubbing the back of her knee, giving her surprising shivers. She looked at him and realized something else that was incredibly different from what she knew. He was not demanding nor forceful. While he was greedily doing as he pleased, his actions were not domineering. She was free to do as she wished and that reality struck her with the weight of a mountain. She could do whatever she wanted, so what did she want? It was clear Grimmjow wanted to drive her insane with these touches that avoided his true goal. *I want to make him feel as desperate as I am… I want him to feel like I do.*
She glanced down his form and then reached out and started rubbing him through his pants. He didn't pause, change his actions or even shift and she thought perhaps he couldn't actually feel her hand but a throb beneath her fingers suggested otherwise. Grimmjow felt her but appeared to ignore her touch, more focused on his own activities, which now consisted of nipping an ankle that was lifted up to his face while he stayed straddled over her other thigh. He was no longer even looking at her, probably trusting his general awareness of her to know if her willingness suddenly went south.
The woman became more bold with her hand and began stroking around the curves of his contained cock, however she was also becoming frustrating at how much of him was just barely out of her reach. Yukiko stopped touching him and pulled her calf from his grasp, finally getting him to look at her again, and sat up. Her face was just at his unnatural navel so she lifted his shirt up and allowed it to fall back on the top of her head while she kissed and licked his abdomen. Her fingers ran along his waist and she tenderly rubbed circles around a back dimple.
Grimmjow exhaled what sounded like a breath he was holding for a very long time and reached down, grabbed her shirt and pulled it up. When it reached her underarms she obliged without hesitation and started pushing his shirt up again, this time as far as her reach could manage so he took the hint and stripped it off as well. He stared at her without a smile, or frown. He looked starved and she trembled in anticipation beneath his stare.
The man dove back to her mouth and this time when they kissed the gentleness was gone. It was pure, unfiltered lust. She had to occupy her arms with lifting herself up into his chest and she tried to rub her own against him, every centimeter of her skin was needy for his heat and she felt insatiable. Grimmjow did have one free hand over her though and used it pull off her skirt and underwear. She distracted herself from it and focused on the lips that was currently pressed into her own. No amount of distraction could have held her focus as he touched her swollen and leaking folds. Her sensitivity to such minor stimulation was shocking and she tried to inhale a shuddering breath while he continued to feel around her nether. Her ability to hold her body to his was weakening by the millisecond and the woman quickly realized she had returned to being flat on her back, not that Grimmjow let her face get further than a hair away from his.
She turned away from him, desperate to breathe, not that she had any hope of actually catching her breath. When she was able to restore a bit of her sense Yukiko took the new opportunity that her now empty hands afforded to put them to work. With a slight thought of revenge, she encouraged him to kiss her again with a few pecks to his cheek. He took the bait and turned back to her. "What?"
Yukiko trailed her hand into his working arm and led it out from between her legs and trailed her nails slowly through his forearm, knowing full well that the sensation drives him nuts, then trailed it back into his body. While doing that, as quickly as she could to not give herself the chance to back out, Yukiko reached down and buried her fingers in herself to slick them up then pulled his pant waist down until he was completely exposed and grasped him directly and started stroking again. Whether it was simply the suddenness or something else, for perhaps the first time that night Grimmjow released a pure, unrestrained shudder of pleasure and Yukiko couldn't help but be pleased with herself.
In a slow, heavy exhale, she could hear a curse escape his lips. "Fuck…" As he spoke she could hear a slight picking noise and looked away from him to see that his nails were digging deep into the flooring outside the padding of the futon. "Enough of this shit."
He sat up on his ankles and for a brief second she could swear he had the exact expression she was hoping for. Desperate.
The man put his hand over hers and through her grasp adjusted his position until she felt rather than see something thicker than fingers start putting pressure on her opening. Before she could even react Grimmjow was completely inside her and it hurt. Obviously she was no virgin but it was years since she last had sex, if it could be called that, and needed to be stretched back out.
The pain was definitely on her face, because Grimmjow leaned down and whispered into her ear. "Let me know when you're ready because this is the last time I'm stopping."
Yukiko took deep breaths while Grimmjow rubbed the length of her thigh and repeatedly bit her neck and shoulder. She started distracting herself with tracing the muscles in his back and threading her fingers through his sweaty scalp. With one final breath, she closed her eyes and tapped him. He understood her gesture as the signal and started moving.
It was still a bit painful initially but the shocking pleasure that surged up her spine before resting back in her stomach was quick to overwhelm any discomfort. The feeling that she was experiencing was practically divine compared to everything that she had previously endured. In hopes of reciprocating the gift that Grimmjow was giving her, she started rolling her hips with his and kissing into his chest and collar. She continued upwards and when she got to his right jaw his movements faltered. He placed his hand over her face and held her on her back while he pulled up before removing his hand. He looked utterly flustered. "Calm down already! I know you've been more than happy to go without sex for years but I've been wanting this for a while and I'm trying to savor it! Stop pushing things along!"
If she thought his previous expression was good, this one was a complete turn on. She smiled and rolled herself again, enjoying a double dose of pleasure from both his reaction and the friction.
"Fine, have it your way!" He declared and pulled out. She nearly cried out in disappointment but then he turned her over and went back in with more force. Yukiko pulled a pillow to lay her face on just in time for Grimmjow to start putting all of his weight into this thrusting, pushing himself deep. He surprised her further by wrapping his arms around her body and started alternating between pinching and rubbing her nipples with one hand and rubbing circles on her clit with the other hand. At this point tremors ran through her whole body and she could feel the tears pool in her eyes. He was flooding her body with pleasure and she craved more the longer he continued until reaching a point at which she couldn't seem to physically feel any more pleasure. Her body stiffened and then twitched as she orgasmed around Grimmjow. He groaned as she tightened down on his cock and when her high reached its peak and she when utterly limp he turned her to her side, the fact that he didn't pull out far too apparent against her now hyper-stimulated nerves. She looked up at him with effort and saw his smirk pull a little tighter then a wet sort of warmth inside her as Grimmjow worked to catch his breath.
He rolled and more or less collapsed beside her, both naked and completely satisfied. As they both slowly came down from the ecstasy high Yukiko's mindless smile faded and she watched every change in Grimmjow's expression and demeanor. He reached over from behind himself and rummaged until his hand came back into view with the blanket. He seemed to notice her staring. "What?"
She just blinked in response, mostly because the answer really was nothing. She had nothing to say, just a sensation that she couldn't put into words.
Grimmjow started to look a little upset. "I swear to whatever fucking god you believe in if you are going to say you are even more traumatized now then-"
He stopped when she put her hand up. {"I actually feel really comfortable."}
"Good because we are going to be doing that again!" The man declared.
Yukiko laughed at his shamelessness but joined him in it. {"We better."}
Why haven't I been updating? Total writer's block and loss of interest in everything. I had a period of functional depression and couldn't do anything I used to enjoy. I literally got up for work and spent my days off in bed, unable to get myself up for almost anything. When I started getting out of it I tried writing again but couldn't get more than a sentence down at a time and was completely stuck on what I wanted to do for this chapter. So I continued my unofficial hiatus until I was able to put together a satisfactory chapter. Because I haven't written for this story in so long it may have a different feel to it but I reread the whole story again to refresh myself on my plot, intentions, character and tone. I cannot say when I will update next but I will promise that it will come. However I will also be starting graduate university in a few months so the update timeline will probably continue to be shit. Sorry in advance.
Yay Comments to any who returned! (´｡• ω •｡`) :
Immersivedreaming: that last chapter was super fun to write.
Emzyk11: I'm so sorry for the 2 year long silence.
Rainydaywritings: Grimmjow being bowed to by a bunch of deer was absolutely necessary for the chapter. He is king and will be treated with respect by all!
Angel0y: Grimmjow and Yukiko have such different lives sometimes its hard to make them seem like they share their life. It was important to me that Yukiko work herself towards the leap but also that Grimmjow have time to really see the reality of their relationship. When Yukiko was ready Grimm no longer was because he was finding he had worries about their next step.
Guest: Shockingly this story still actually isn't dead. I'm very happy you love it so much!
XD-kaycee: Hello! Thank you as always for the compliments 3 The extra bits that I had hoped to put in the last chapter didn't really work past it plus I had to deal with personal problems. Sorry to say I clearly did not update for a long time.
Kaaeiful: Being told my writing of Grimmjow is believable is probably one of the best compliments. It can be hard to write an established character doing things that they were never intended to do. Hyper moral characters in anything are my least favorite in any medium. They suck. Now that I've written the smut I'm kind of worried I still rushed it despite all the time given prior. Yukiko ended up being a bit more focused on it once she committed to it than I previously intended. I tried to convey that she was ready but was still nervous and hoped that if they hurried up and had sex she would stop being scared but don't think I came across well. I wouldn't say Grimmjow is in love, and frankly neither is Yuki. More like they are both unhealthily obsessed.
Greasypimpslap: I'm extra sorry you rushed through reading the whole story after making everyone wait literal years for an update.
Suki: Dream has become reality
ScarletBanshee: The story took another year but it has revived. I'm going to be starting to get more into her family stuff now that their physical relationship is no longer in limbo.
Kitteninthemoonlight: I'm happy everyone took such an interest in the story. It is really encouraging. I don't want to step away again, I just had to previously because of personal issues.
Myeongi: I had actually resumed working on the story. I am happy to be back to writing. I hope I will not have to leave the story unfinished. I have the ending ready but we need to actually get there!