Hey all. Very sorry for not being able to get this out sooner and for not answering your reviews yet AND for the fact this chapter is kind of short and perhaps uneventful(?)...Don't hate me. My time's been more limited lately, but still writing when I have the chance. Hope you're all well. Really appreciated all your comments on the last chapter. Will be doing replies shortly.
~Twenty-Five~
When Cloud opened his eyes to the low and dull morning light, he had no idea where he was. His memory of the hours leading up to when he fell asleep seemed to be missing at first, until he was sitting up on the couch he'd been lying on and could feel that the material of his t-shirt and boxer shorts that had been pressing against the leather under him felt a little damp. Still damp from hours earlier…from the storm.
Where was he, he still questioned while looking around the living area of the small condo apartment he was in. He remembered though and he almost couldn't believe it. Rand was alive. He was in his home. Why the hell had he gone there? He'd been intoxicated. Panicking. The streets had been flooding. Still, why would he do that? There had to be something truly screwed up in his brain for him to actually put himself in a vulnerable position with him after everything, whether he'd been thinking straight or not.
Just don't freak out, he had to tell himself. As far as he could see, the man wasn't in the immediate vicinity. He could see the front door from where he was sitting. He could just get up and leave. He didn't know where his meds were, what time it was. His medication bottles had been in his coat. Where'd his coat go? Rand had taken it. Taken his pants too. His socks. Had he taken his phone too? It wasn't anywhere that he could see immediately around him at the couch.
The apartment seemed almost eerily quiet. He realized as he looked around briefly he couldn't see any power lights lit up on any electronics. Was the power still out from the night before? It was still raining outside, though not like it had been, he could hear it hitting the windows somewhere behind him.
Shoving the blanket draped over him off onto the floor, he stood up quickly. He did have a headache, he'd felt it as soon as he woke up, but it was the standing up fast that had it pounding suddenly, making him sit down again slowly. He had to hold his head in his hands a moment while his vision seemed to be spotting over.
"Good morning," a voice said and it sent him crashing back to the days in the Gongaga facility.
The way Rand used to greet him in the mornings in his cell. It always sounded exactly like that. Same level. Same intonation. He looked up over his hands at the man standing nearby at the entry to a hallway. He had what Cloud thought must be his pants and socks in his hands, folded neatly. When Cloud said nothing he lifted the items slightly.
"I hung them up to dry last night," he said and Cloud narrowed his gaze at him.
"You took them without asking," he replied sharply. "I told you not to touch me," he added, most of what happened coming back to him quickly then.
"You were cold and a wet. You weren't being reasonable," Rand argued as he came towards him to set his folded clothing down next to him. Cloud practically grabbed the items out of his hands before he could set them down fully.
"You think you still get to say whether something I want or don't want is unreasonable?" he fired back while quickly getting himself dressed. He stood up to pull his jeans on fully and stared Rand down in confrontation, angry enough to mask the actual fear he felt at being in the situation he was with him alone.
"Why are you always so determined to suffer on principle alone?" Rand questioned and it only further ignited his fury.
"It's my choice!" he found himself yelling into Rand's face. "It doesn't have to make sense to you because it's not up to you!"
"You're right, I'm sorry," Rand told him.
"Yeah, sure," Cloud said. He didn't know how he had the courage then to tell the man what he'd wanted to since seeing him at the college and especially since getting that recording from him. He just started firing away at him.
"You think you can just say you're sorry for what you did and cite some bullshit like it was your job to do the things you did or that you didn't have a choice? That you didn't want to hurt me? That I guess you just had to? That no matter how many fucked up things you did you always cared and that's supposed to do what for me? You think you have a right to ask me to forgive you? Because you're sorry."
Rand was looking at the floor then. He stayed quiet, maybe knowing there was more he wanted to get off his chest right then.
Cloud went on. "You never had a right to do any of the things you did to me, Rand, not even if you had a job to do. You never had a right to decide what I should and shouldn't be allowed to do. How I should and shouldn't act, what I should believe, feel, want, need!" his voice got louder and louder with more emphasis on each word that followed the one before it. "Do you get that?" he asked a little quieter again but still firmly.
"I do," Rand replied when he looked at him again.
"Where's the rest of my stuff?" he asked then.
"Over there," Rand told him, pointing over to the counter in the kitchen.
Cloud could see the things that had been in his coat placed at the one end. His wallet, his medications and phone.
"Your coat and boots are at the door. They're probably still wet," Rand told him as Cloud started heading over quickly to retrieve his things.
When Cloud picked up his phone he tried to wake it up to the home screen but the screen stayed black. He hoped it was because it had run out of battery and not actually been damaged by rain water the night before. He'd been pretty soaked through from the storm.
"You don't need to leave right now. The power is still out, parts of the city are still flooded," Rand tried to tell him but there was nothing that was going to keep him in that apartment a minute longer than he needed to be there.
Cloud ignored him, pulling on his coat and boots, shoving all his belongings into his pockets and not bothering to try and tie his laces before reaching for the door. He'd unlocked it and pulled it open when Rand called out his name softly, making him look back in question. Whatever the man wanted to say to him, he was sure it wasn't what he decided on instead.
"Stay safe."
Fuck you. That's what Cloud had been thinking. That and drop dead, though evidently he had a hard time with the thought of Rand not being alive, for whatever reason. He didn't say anything in return before departing the man's condo. Fleeing it really. He felt like he was fleeing when he left hurriedly, only stopping in the lobby for the few seconds it took to tie his laces. They were difficult to tie, still wet from the night before. His coat was damp. As soon as he stepped out into the rain again, it didn't really matter that his pants had been dried overnight.
He could have cried when he was out on the street, though he didn't. He took his morning medication. Swallowed it down with a dry mouth and throat. He needed to hydrate. He still wasn't sure of the time. He was worried about his phone being off and whether anyone had been trying to reach him. He felt guilty about allowing Rand to shelter him the night before, whether he'd been intoxicated and stranded or not.
It took him awhile to get his bearings and figure out the direction back to the hotel. The streets around Rand's apartment weren't flooded. He wasn't sure how the man knew parts of the city still were. He supposed maybe he had a radio or something he'd been listening to. He could tell though as he was passing through intersections on the nearly empty roads that the power was definitely still out. There was a lot of wet debris lying around.
After about ten minutes travelling the main road where the sports bar was that he'd been in the night before he thought he could hear the sound of a larger vehicle coming up from behind him. He looked back to see a bus travelling the route and quickly got himself to the nearest stop. When the driver opened the door he immediately informed him that the route was altered because of the flooding. He told the driver which hotel it was he was trying to make his way too and the man told him he could get him within a few streets of it.
He was the only passenger on the bus as it moved along in the direction of the hotel. He tried once more to turn his phone on before accepting he was going to need to plug it into a power source to determine if it was damaged or not from the rain. He'd anticipated perhaps not having access to a wired energy supply at some point so he'd packed a few battery powered chargers just in case. When he was dropped off by the bus driver, the man wished him good luck, which he sort of scoffed at. He had the worst luck of anyone he'd ever known.
That streak was about to continue when he was able to get himself to the front door of the hotel. He'd had to walk through some ankle deep water on the way there. His boots were already wet on the inside so he didn't try to avoid it, choosing instead to just head through on a straight trajectory and get it over with.
The hotel seemed okay. There was no obvious signs that there'd been flooding into it until he stepped inside and could see that carpet was wet in the lobby. There were no lights on that he could see but there were people working at the desk and what he assumed were a line of guests waiting to speak to someone. They all seemed pretty frustrated or annoyed. He wasn't able to head upstairs to his room. The entrances to the stairwells were blocked by security and the elevators weren't in service. That found him waiting in line with the others to speak to someone at the main desk.
It was several minutes before someone was able to talk to him. By then he had a pretty good idea what was going on because he'd been listening to the other guests talking with the staff members. With power down and suspecting their water may have suffered contamination due to the flooding, they were asking guests to check out. There was no power to the locks on the rooms so no way to keep belongings secure. They were recommending some other hotels on the drier side of the city that might have generators which could still supply power. They were also warning that the meteorologists were predicting a few smaller storms for that evening and into the following day.
When someone from the security team was able to assist, he was accompanied up to his room that he hadn't even used the night before and collected his things. The hotel was generous and discounted the rate he was supposed to pay because he'd informed them he'd been unable to get back to use the room the night before.
He paid his bill and headed out to the parking structure to check on his bike. It was above ground so he was pretty sure it would be fine. While still under the cover of the structure, he searched out and found one of the chargers he could plug his phone into. As soon as he connected it he could see the 'battery charging' icon on the screen.
It was a relief to see the phone had died because of the battery and not water damage. Being inside the structure, however, he wasn't able to get a clear signal. He still had some hours left on the parking pass he'd paid for so he figured it wouldn't be a problem to leave his bike parked there for now so he didn't need to ride through the rain to find somewhere else to put it. He took his phone and charger down with him to the street to see about getting a signal.
It seemed like the moment he stepped out from the shield of the concrete he was getting a barrage of notifications he hadn't received while the phone was off. He didn't try to read them all before calling Zack.
"Hey, are you alright?" was the first thing Zack said when he answered the phone. No hello. Just that immediate question.
"I'm alright yeah," Cloud said though he found himself almost wanting to cry again. Hearing Zack's voice after the night he'd had was comforting but also suddenly had him wishing he could be at home instead of where he was.
"I tried to call you at like one this morning and automatically it was going to voicemail," Zack told him.
"Yeah, my phone was dead. There was this storm—" he started to explain.
"We heard about it on the news last night," Zack interjected. "How bad was it?" he asked.
"Pretty bad," Cloud admitted. "Power is out, it hasn't stopped raining and there's more coming. Some other smaller storms or something."
"So, what are you stuck there?" Zack questioned and he shrugged to himself.
"Yeah, unless I want to ditch my bike, but there's also…" Cloud answered slowly but trailed off then as he was thinking about the things he still wasn't sure he should tell Zack or not.
"What, buddy?" Zack asked when he was quiet then.
"I lied to you," Cloud said then. "I guess."
"What do you mean?" Zack replied apprehensively.
"Uh, there was sort of more on that recording that Rand sent to me, besides just his apology," he answered carefully.
"Okay," was all Zack responded with at first.
"It was about the shares," he said. He didn't need to elaborate. Zack had been informed of the shares by Tseng back in Costa del Sol the year before.
"He left them to you?" Zack asked before Cloud could tell him.
"Yeah," Cloud confirmed. "Supposedly. He set it up with his lawyer here to legally transfer them to me. I just have to meet with the lawyer to sign for them," he revealed.
Zack released what sounded like a sigh of frustration.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Cloud said honestly. There hadn't seemed like a choice though. He didn't believe Zack would have let him go out to Junon on his own if he knew. "How mad are you right now?" he asked when Zack hadn't said anything after a moment.
"I'm not mad," Zack replied and he sounded truthful. He actually just sounded sad. "Do you have them then?" he asked back.
"Not yet," Cloud said. "I went to the law office yesterday when I got into town and found out the lawyer's on vacation. So, I dunno. I guess I have to wait around until he's back in the office," he explained.
"Has it crossed your mind at all that Rand was just messing with you? Like some kind of sick joke?" Zack suggested.
"Well yeah…but, I don't know, he wasn't the joking type," Cloud reasoned. "I don't know," he repeated. "It just feels like a risk I have to take," he confessed. "They may not mean much to anyone else at this point, but those shares mean something to me, Zack," he told him.
"I get it, Spike," Zack spoke back more softly than he'd expected.
"So you're okay then with my decision to go after them?" Cloud asked, still skeptical of how understanding his friend seemed.
"Not how you're doing it," Zack replied. "I don't think it's something you should be doing alone," he elaborated. "I'm mostly just worried for you, Spikey. Wish I could be there with you. But if not me, I wish someone was," he concluded.
"Yeah well…" Cloud said, holding down his emotions. "I'm fine doing it alone," he said, despite not being very convinced himself. "When this lawyer is back, and if the transfer actually happens, I'm going to have the documents sent out to you, okay? Don't really want to be traveling around with them."
"Okay," Zack said. "Can you please be careful? I just have like, I dunno, a bad feeling or something," he said.
"I'm—yeah, I will be," he agreed. "Don't worry," he added.
Zack scoffed a little to that before asking, "What are you going to do tonight?"
"I don't know. I have to find a hotel still accepting guests right now. Hopefully I can get a shower. I really need one." he told him.
"Okay, well, can you call again in a little while so I know you're still alright?" Zack asked.
"Will do," Cloud agreed.
They said their goodbyes and ended their call with Cloud never having mentioned the bigger thing he was hiding now. The fact that Rand was alive. He couldn't tell Zack that. His obvious question would be how he knew and if he told Zack the truth, that the man had tracked him, literally, to a bar in the city and brought him back to his home…Well he didn't know for sure what Zack's reaction would be but he suspected if he didn't break his parole restrictions and come out to Junon himself he would either send someone or call the authorities and out Rand as being alive and well.
Cloud had to ponder why the thought of Rand being called out for his staged death was something he didn't want to be involved in. He didn't really know. There was also something he realized he needed the man for. At the very least he wanted to wait to reveal the man's whereabouts until he had possession of the shares, and until one other thing was resolved.
He found himself a coffee shop with generator power open for business and sat himself there for a few hours so he could call around to a few hotels to see which ones were taking guests still. There were a few but their rates were much higher than what he wanted to pay, which wasn't surprising. He didn't have much of a choice though. He had to wait a while for the check-in time in the afternoon and fortunately there was a break in the rain just long enough to navigate the least wet roads with his motorcycle across the city.
Finally, he'd been able to shower. Something about it made him instantly feel a bit better though he was feeling pretty conflicted and stressed. He was exhausted by late afternoon. He'd barely managed the energy to get himself fed before lying down and falling asleep. With the morning light, came a bit better clarity and confidence, and the nerve to address that thing he felt needed resolved. The little matter of a tracker somewhere in his back…
The weather the evening before hadn't been as terrible as predicted, fortunately. Of course the meteorologists seemed to have underestimated the mega-storm that hit the night previous, so why not overestimate the ones to follow. By the morning, the power had returned for much of the city. Flood waters had mostly receded. Still, he chose to leave his bike parked near the hotel and go on foot to his destination, hoping he'd be able to find his way. He hadn't been in a very clear frame of mind the morning before.
Finding the sports bar he'd been to his first night in the city was easy enough and with a bit of wandering he was able to locate the condo building he was looking for without too much trouble. As he stood outside the main entrance he was nervous, but he was pretty determined otherwise.
It occurred to him as he was heading up to the front entrance that the building was probably locked and he was going to have to get buzzed in for entry. He hoped the names were listed outside for the units because he hadn't made note of the unit number when he'd been there before.
He never got a chance to check. As he was headed for the doors, someone from inside the building exited and held the door open for him. He thought it was pretty irresponsible that the person would do that, not knowing who he was or just assuming he was a resident but he wasn't about to tell him that. He just thanked the guy and entered the building. Despite not knowing the unit number he was headed for, he did remember where he'd come from the morning before. Using the stairwell, he headed upwards.
Standing finally in the hall outside the target unit, he paused a moment to steady his breathing and check once more with himself that he wasn't making a mistake going back there. He supposed no matter what, on some level it was a mistake, but he was confident in his mission.
He knocked on the door and waited, taking a step back so he wasn't standing directly in front of the door. When his knocking went unanswered he actually felt a little relieved, but as he was pivoting to head away from the door he heard the sound of a lock being disengaged.
Rand was looking at him from the doorway then, holding onto the door in his one hand. It was well into the day at that point but it looked like the man may have been woken up from sleep. He had on a pair of sweats and a wrinkled looking t-shirt and his hair was fairly messy. His face was unshaven, his facial hair the thickest he could ever remember seeing it in the past. He hadn't thought much about it the day before.
Cloud still found it odd to see him look so…lax? He didn't know which word to use. The man in his memory had always seemed so meticulous with his appearance and his grooming. It was like the opposite now.
"You're back…" Rand said in question and it was clear from his tone it wasn't anything he had expected.
Turning his body back to face the man directly, Cloud pulled together the strength to stand tall, determined to overcome the fear he felt. Despite what he'd been through in the past, Rand had no power over him anymore. He was the one in control of himself now.
"I wasn't really thinking yesterday morning," he said in return. "I just really wanted to get away from you. It wasn't until a little later that I thought about that implant you said is in my back," he told him and it had Rand looking back at him as if he was feeling a little apprehensive. "I want it out," Cloud said.
"Oh," Rand replied through an exhale, looking away from him down towards the floor.
"It can be removed, can't it?" Cloud asked and the man raised his eyes to meet his once more.
"I think so," Rand confirmed in a less than sure sounding tone.
"So can you do that then?" was Cloud's next question.
"You want me to remove it?" Rand responded with some surprise.
"Well you put it in," Cloud said back sharply. "You know where you put it, don't you?" he asked and the man nodded a little.
"I know where I put it but that doesn't mean it stayed there," he said back levelly. "It's quite small. It could have moved," he added.
Cloud exhaled a little forcefully, feeling frustrated. "Is there a way to figure out where it is, like wherever it ended up?" he inquired and after a short moment of thought the man nodded again, running his one hand through his hair tiredly.
"Yeah," he confirmed simply. "You really want me to take it out for you?" he asked again.
"Unless it's now someplace I can remove it myself, yeah," Cloud said.
"I'd have to make an incision in your skin though," Rand told him, as though he hadn't already figured that out.
"So then I guess that's half as invasive as you putting the tracker in my body without me knowing in the first place," Cloud shot back at him. "Is it something you'll do or not?" he asked, losing patience at that point. Rand's demeanor seemed to suggest he really didn't want to do what was being asked. He hesitated with his acceptance then, making Cloud sigh.
"You know, if…" he started to say in a softer tone. "If you can do that then…I dunno, I might be able to forgive some of the things you did," he told the man slowly. "Not everything," he clarified quickly at what looked almost like a spark of hope in the man's eyes that he kind of hated. "But…some things. Maybe."
Rand said nothing else to that. He smiled weakly, the expression barely on his face long enough to see it. He seemed nervous though, more than Cloud felt himself. He didn't say anything else. All he did was step aside from the door to allow Cloud inside.