"Hey," Jenny says into the phone when she answers it that evening. She got home from Laura's half an hour to find a message from Rupert on her answering machine.

"Hello," comes his English timber. "I'm sorry I missed you earlier."

"I left for Laura's early."

Laura got into her head about taking her reconnection with Rupert any further. It bothered her in a way she hadn't been able to settle, though she put up a front with Laura's family. It was easy to fall back on the facade, like she had in Sunnydale. Yet the restless feeling was building inside of her all day, peeking when she left and power walked to the subway.

She's still in her head yet there's an urge to ask Rupert about it because she doesn't want to have secrets this time round even if they're deep-rooted insecurities. She's learnt her lesson, she won't repeat that mistake with him.

"We're rushing into this."

As soon as the words are out of her mouth she regrets them. She's the one pulling back, Rupert's been fairly consistent in his contact. Despite not elaborating on their time apart, he's been pretty clear on his feelings for her when they were together before and what happened just after she left.

To be fair, Jenny hasn't asked what's happened to him in the last four years and he hasn't offered.

However open he has been, his lack of explanation has left her with more questions she hasn't been brave enough to ask. Spoken curiosities and doubts created a domino effect inside of her which makes her want to run again.

She knows what she needs from him and that's not to blindly agree with her as he has been. She wants him to tell her he wants her as much as she wants him. If he wants her, he needs to say so and in those words, and there's no reason for her to misconstrue anything.

She hates wanting that from him. She doesn't want to admit she needs it from him, either.

"What's wrong?" Rupert asks, sounding absolutely confused. At least they're sharing that.

She closes her eyes, trying to picture him sitting in Buffy's house with a phone to his ear. She can also see Buffy, Xander and Willow hovering nervously to make sure he's okay.

"Are you alone?"

"Um, relatively, Dawn and Xander are watching a football game in the other room while Buffy and Willow are finishing dinner." There's a pause. "Wait a minute…" His voice sounds distant as though he's looking around for the kids.

There's a noise, a thump on his end of the line then another. "I'm sorry Jenny. Give me a moment."

Jenny frowns at the phone. She listens as he walks to another part of the house, creaking faintly filtering through the background noise to give way to silence after a definitive click of a lock. "I'm alone now," Rupert informs her. "I think I had less privacy than I initially believed."

"Right," Jenny drawls, trying not to picture Buffy's face pinched with concern at Rupert's question.

"Jenny, if you want..I'd like to know if I've done something to upset you or-."

"It's not just you," Jenny cuts in. "It's me as well. I'm sorry, Rupert, I just…" She wants to smack herself for starting off their conversation with this. "Ugh, god, look, I don't want to seem, I don't want to worry you."

"That's not as reassuring as you think it is, Jenny."

She laughs, hard and bitter. "I know," she sighs.

"What's changed?" He asks kindly without judgement, following her lead without letting her derail them completely.

"I've just been thinking about this, us, and I don't know if I can do this without asking some questions that I'm not sure I want the answers to."

"You can ask me anything, you know my worst Jenny," Rupert encourages. Eyghon. Oh.

"Are you involved with anyone?"

Rippin' that band-aid right off…

It takes him a moment to answer. When he does, it's with a stammer. "Uh, no, not now."

"But you have been?" Her hackles begin to rise, feeling stupid for thinking his love life had paused when hers did. They had broken up, it's not his fault she didn't move on.

"There have been a few. One was an old friend. The other was while I was under the influence of a spell," he explains so neutrally she's unsure if she's offended him by asking. He clears his throat. "Jenny, I'd like to clarify. I care, and cared, for them in different ways. My feelings for them never compared to the way I feel about you." He pauses. "As I've told you before, you are incomparable."

Jenny blinks, near tears, trying to reconcile the twinge of jealousy with the relief that floods through her. "Okay, just for the record, in the interest of being open and honest, there's been no one for me."

There, she said it.

"This isn't a contest," he reminds her kindly.

"I know, I'm sure who would win if it was," she blathers on.

"Jenny," comes his gentle chiding. "I believe there's been an oversight on my behalf. I've never told you-."

"An oversight?" One hell of a way to phrase it, she thinks. Then realises he's gearing up to tell her. "Rupert, don't."

"You can't ask for honesty then refuse to hear it." He sounds like he's pacing. "Jenny, I've been in love with you for nearly five years and the only person who doesn't know that is you."

"I knew," she admits, the words catching in her throat. "Back then, I knew."

"I'm not sure how to prove it to you now."

"I'm not sure you can, or if I want you to until you know for certain," she sighs. There's such a thing as being too honest. "We're not the same people we were back then. How can you know you're in love with me as I am now? How can I know you are?"

I would like to get to know you as we are now, however that may be.

"I finally understand what you meant by getting to know each other as we are now."

That was the crux of the matter.

She isn't the same person he is in love with and she doesn't know enough about his life to know to make that decision about him. She's always going to love the man she met in Sunnydale. The guy who made her smile so much her cheeks hurt. The guy who offered her his elbow and held doors open for her.

"I meant that; I still do," Rupert's voice comes clear across the line. "However, I can't imagine a life where I don't love you. Then or now." He pauses, lowering his voice as he admits, "Jenny, I want to see you."

"I want you to hold me," she whispers despite what she told Rupert a moment ago.

"I'd like that, too."

"How do we figure this out? It's not like we can drop in for a cup of coffee or catch a movie. We live in different time zones."

Traditional dating is out of the question in their current predicament. Jenny won't ask him to uproot his life and she'd be certifiable if she did the same. They're going round in circles and she's exhausted.

"Screw what I said about rushing, come to New York, Rupert."

"Alright," he agrees quietly.

They talk for a few more minutes about fledgling plans and potential dates before one of the kids calls him for dinner. Jenny waits till she hears the dial tone before hanging up, not really paying attention to the faint double click of the phone as she does.