Hey guys! HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEN (a little earlier than usual, but yay for time differences)! I love this holiday and hope that you do too! ^.^ I'm so pumped I could post this on actual Halloween for Jily ;)

An excited little reminder that JILY AWARDS is back this year, baby! This fic and my last one (Enemy Within) are both eligible if you liked them :) Happy voting!

** JK, lols, missgryffin decided they weren't allowed - and asked me to post that they weren't allowed because not doing so would be 'sabotaging' her. So there we go.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. This author knows Lily is not a good person here, she hopes you know she is not a good person here, this story is not condoning bad behavior, just exploring it, if you are uncomfortable you can always stop reading, I won't mind :) Art work by the super talented windbyfire (insta)

SHOUT OUT to the story Tell Me What To Do by ScarlettSunshine for getting in my head about writing something where Lily takes James' V ;) Also to TSwift for her new album - you may see a little reference to my second favorite song in here (my fav song is basically the backstory of this whole damn story XD)

Hurts Like Hell ~ Fleurie

Present Day

"Evans, we need to talk," James announced as he walked back into his flat, firm on what he had to do. Unfortunately for him, Lily was no longer in the kitchen where he'd abruptly left her. "Evans?" For a heart stopping moment, James worried that something had happened to her during the five minutes he'd been outside the door, having a mini breakdown in the hallway.

"One second!" she called from the bathroom.

Phew, James thought as he willed his heart to stop racing. Crisis averted, on to the next one. He paced back and forth in front of his counter before deciding it would be best for all his fidgeting if he just sat down at one of the bar stools and waited for her to join him.

She did with a freshly washed face and new clothes on shortly afterwards. She was still wearing his bracelet. "Everything okay? You looked a little pale before you bolted."

"Yeah, yeah—" James began automatically, before realizing, "—no, actually, it's not."

"Okay…" Lily said unsurely, sitting down next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

James tried to ignore that their knees were almost touching. He rubbed his thumb and pointer finger over his eyelids, gearing up for what he had to do. "Yes, I do, but out of respect for my girlfriend, I feel like I can't."

There was a long beat where James wholly expected Lily to lean in and say something sassy. Perhaps a little whispered, 'Well, she isn't here,' or a repeat performance of an old classic, 'She doesn't have to know,' or a rude, but completely in character, 'How is that my problem?' But she said none of those things. In fact, she didn't say anything at all. When James opened his eyes, she was simply looking at him, face a blank slate.

"Okay."

Okay? Oookay? What did she mean, okay? Is she okay?! When had Evans ever passed up an opportunity to meddle in his relationships? "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Lily repeated simply.

Has she really changed? Realizing that Voldemort and Death Eaters were the bad guys of the story was one thing… but changing how she actually treated the people around her going forth this much? That was a whole other (could he say monumental?) step. James just sat there, staring at her.

"Can I ask… if you're all right though?" she questioned.

James was still dumbfounded. "Did you really just, 'All right, Potter?' me?"

Lily laughed, a beautiful twinkling sound. "No, I'm not hitting on you— but I am sorry I came on so strongly last night. I…" she trailed off, looking over to the sink. "I guess I had too much to drink and got a little carried away."

Fuck. Now that they were talking about this, he didn't want to stop. He was far too curious to learn more. Would she keep going, if he just sat here? If he didn't encourage her at all, just was down to listen? Stop it. "That was my fault, I shouldn't have let you have that much—"

Lily huffed. "I'm not a child, James. I was responsible for how much I drank; that was on me. I know you're guarding me, or whatever, but I'm still in charge of myself." A loose tendril of hair framed her face and she reached up to spin it around her finger absentmindedly. "It's just hard being here sometimes." Yeah. He could relate. She was looking in the direction of his shirt now, but her eyes were hazy and unfocused, lost in thought. "There's a lot of history between us, and it's just," she let out a deep sigh, "difficult to let that go sometimes." Her eyes cut to him. "But I'm sorry, I truly am. I don't want to fuck up what you have here."

James forced down a swallow.

She continued, her voice soft, "I know I missed my chance with you. I know I'll never get that chance back." She sounded so sad as she looked towards the window, forcing a smile across her features — it didn't quite manage to reach her eyes though. "If I could go back in time and change things, I would… but that's my regret to live with, not yours."

He wanted to hug her. He wanted to hug her so badly. His tongue felt glued to the roof of his mouth. Yeah, sure, what she'd put him through in the end had been brutal… but maybe she could explain it? Maybe after all this time, he was finally man enough to listen to whatever she had to say, no matter how painful it turned out to be? "Why'd you dump me?" James felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from off of his chest with that succinct query and he could at long last breathe. Even if she lied, even if she gave him the crappiest answer ever, he finally, finally had the nerve to ask her something that had been plaguing him for nearly a decade.

Lily winced, and James knew he was in for a doozy. "I actually didn't want to."

James grunted, looking down at his clasped hands as he leaned forward, hunkering down over his knees. "You don't have to sugarcoat the—"

"I'm telling the truth," she replied adamantly, forcing James to look back up at her. Her chest expanded with a huge breath in. "Bellatrix told me how the boys in Slytherin were starting to get suspicious that there was something going on between us. Apparently Snape saw us walking out from behind a tapestry one time? I don't know—"

"Snape?!" If the biggest heartbreak of James' young life was caused by that slimy git, he swore to Merlin—

"Yeah," Lily said solemnly, nodding her head. "Of course I denied it, but I wasn't sure what to do. I tried to be more careful with you, tried treating you shittier in public, but James," she looked at him with a little sexy smirk curling her lips, "you have the worst poker face. The way you always stared at me in class, the way you hung on to every single thing I said—"

"I get it," James cut her off. He really didn't have to relive what an absolute simp for her he'd always been. He was acutely aware.

Lily reached for his cheek, cupping it for half a second before pulling back, remembering her place. James wished she hadn't. (Touched him or pulled away.) There was a pregnant beat before she started again. "So they all knew. They couldn't prove it, but we were living together. They knew we had ample time to fuck in private." Lily bit her bottom lip. "A couple of the guys had crushes on me at the time, Avery in particular, and they were worried I'd started developing feelings for you."

James couldn't move — too enthralled by her story. This was it, this was what had all gone wrong. He'd wanted to know for so long, so why was he now so fucking sad hearing it?

"Bellatrix tried to comfort me by saying it didn't matter, because you'd be dead in a few months anyway, so no one would remember 'my embarrassing' rumor." Her brows scrunched, clearly reliving the memory. "She said the guys were definitely going to kill you first thing out of Hogwarts just so that they could have their shot with me. I guess they saw each other as friendly competition but you… as a threat."

Oh my fucking… fucking… shitquaffles. This? This was her reason for dumping him all those years ago? No, no no no, she was supposed to tell him that he'd always only been a sex toy to her and that he'd grown too attached for it to be fun anymore. She was supposed to admit that he'd never meant anything at all and that she'd just shagged him out of boredom. She was supposed to give him closure. Not this. She wasn't supposed to tell him that she'd actually broken up with him to keep him safe. She wasn't allowed to tell him that the reason they were no longer together was because she was afraid that her side would kill him if she didn't put an end to things— that she had liked him too much to let the bad guys slaughter him.

"Lily…" he whispered, her name coming out as a breathless whine. Couldn't she see that she was still the one killing him? It had always been her with the dagger to his throat.

"I was so naive," Lily lamented, a solitary tear rolling down her cheek. "I should have known back then, you know? I should have gone to Dumbledore and asked—"

"Stop, stop," James interrupted, now being the one touching her cheek to catch a tear. He had always hated seeing girls cry. "You know now."

Lily leaned into his touch, her hand coming up to cup his in return. She closed her eyes briefly as if enjoying the tenderness. It made James' heart ache. "I feel so stupid," she admitted.

James sighed, moving his thumb up and down her cheek soothingly. "So do I. I wish I'd known. I wish I had helped you—"

"You did. More than you could ever know."

Why did this feel like a breakup? Hell, why did this feel like more of a breakup than the original time that they'd done it? He wanted to hug her, he wanted to hold her. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go.

She let out a watery little chuckle. "We can still be friends though, right?"

James gave her the most pitiful smile. They both knew they'd never actually been friends. He also knew that he would never be able to be just friends with Lily Evans. "We can try?" She kept smiling, but James could tell that it was an act — a brave face she was putting on so that she wouldn't break down further. "Come here," he whispered before standing up and practically lifting Lily to her feet as well so that he could engulf her in his embrace.

She sagged against him, fully melting into his chest. It reminded him of the times at school when she'd been stiff and awkward in the same scenarios. The times when he'd called her out on it and she'd admitted she wasn't used to hugs since she'd never gotten them as a kid. His heart broke for her all over again. "I'm so sorry," she croaked wetly.

"Sh, it's okay," he lulled, kissing the top of her hair. He'd always been a sucker for a bird with a broken wing. He could tell that she still used coconut shampoo, and everyone could tell that James Potter was still in love.

Halloween Night, 7th Year

"Can we just not do what tonight?" James asked confused, still standing transfixed at the entrance of the Head common room. He'd been intending to sass the living daylights out of Evans when he finally got two seconds alone with her, but seeing her there, enshrouded by gold and burgundy pillows while she was sitting in front of his fireplace, crying? It knocked him completely off kilter.

"This whole bit where we insult and try to one up each other. I'm not in the mood." Lily turned back to the fire and James didn't miss the way the flames were dancing in her irises, refracting in her tears.

He hesitantly moved closer to her, perching on the edge of the green end of the couch. "Is everything okay?" His past experiences with her told him he should give her space, but his heart was telling him to stay.

He couldn't get over it. Susan had always covered her face when she cried because she was convinced she looked ugly while she was doing it. But Lily? Lily was the opposite. Her eyes glowed and she hid nothing, as if knowing that her tears didn't make her weak, but were instead a sign of humanity that she wasn't ashamed of. She looked more alive than ever, more endearing than James would care to admit, sitting there, feeling the full weight of whatever the fuck she was wrestling with. It was like Lily understood that she didn't have to be perfect and polished at all times to be taken seriously — because the fact that she was human should be reason enough for that. She had nothing to prove, and only feelings to express.

"I fucked up," she whispered, a fresh tear rolling down her cheek.

"Everyone fucks up sometimes." James suppressed every inkling in his body to reach out and stop her tear's inevitable progression towards dripping off of her chin. "But anyone can come back from shit," he tried reasoning. "Believe me, I used to be a jackass, and look—"

"Used to be?" The corner of her mouth twitched as she kept her eyes locked to the fire, and James had never been more grateful to be teased.

"Yeah," he said, smiling, "believe it or not."

"You'll have to forgive me for firmly being a not in this case." She gave him a side eye. "Because that would imply that you aren't still an arsehole."

Poke fun at me, ridicule me, do anything you want as long as you feel better. "I said jackass, Evans. Not arsehole."

"Is there a difference?"

"It's subtle, but absolutely."

"Well, excuse me, I suppose."

James leaned onto his elbow on the back of the couch, his posture open to hers. "You're excused."

Lily rolled her eyes. "And you're insufferable."

"You like it though."

It was Lily's turn to open up her body to him, mimicking his pose. "Someone's feeling extra cocky tonight." Her lips were painted a cherry red color that James was trying not to notice.

"Or maybe I'm just happy you're talking to me again," James replied. She was right though — he was one hundred percent feeling cocky. In under five minutes he'd been able to make a crying Evans turn back into her normal, sassy self. As far as he was concerned, he was a god.

Her brows scrunched as she rested her cheekbone onto the palm of her hand. "What do you mean? I never stopped talking to you."

Fuck. He'd said the quiet part out loud and completely outed himself. Fine, whatever. He gave her a look. "Okay, Evans."

"What?" she defended, fully smiling at him. "I didn't!"

"Sure. What was the last conversation we had?"

"You told me to coordinate the ghosts' entrances tonight—"

"That's not a conversation, Lily, that was just a—" he floundered for the right word, "—a meaningless chat."

"Meaningless chat, eh?" she nodded along, entertaining him. "And you don't like those?"

"Nah, I prefer the meaningful ones." He tried not smirking as he inched closer to her roguishly, but he couldn't help it. It just felt so good to be on the receiving end of her cheek once more.

"You would," she threw out, her eyes dropping to his mouth for a millisecond. If he'd have blinked, he would have missed it.

James' tongue wet his lips of their own accord. "What do you mean?"

"You…" she began, her voice barely above a whisper. A log crackled on the hearth as the windows rattled with a fresh peal of wind on the other side. "You're just so… stable. Solid."

He felt his forehead crinkle in confusion. "As opposed to…?"

Her eyes bore into his as though searching for something — acceptance, permission, he wasn't sure, but he found that he couldn't look away. She had him in a trance. She'd always had him in a trance. "Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am—" she swallowed, "or who I'm supposed to be. Sometimes I…" James leaned in further, trying to catch every last word she was breathing. "I wonder how it would have gone had I… if I'd…" she trailed off.

James could tell she was trying to tell him something, or confess to something. This felt monumental, and he wasn't sure what was the right way to coax it out of her, or let her know that she could open up to him if she wanted to. "Lily, what are you talking about? You're the strongest witch I know. You take zero shit from anyone else, you're whip smart, you take care of your own, you're never afraid to go after what you want, you—"

But the rest of James' pep talk was cut off when Lily swiftly shut him up by crushing her mouth to his, her hands coming up to hold his face. He remained frozen for only a moment before his hands reanimated, finding purchase on her waist, dragging her body closer so he could return the fervor she was giving him. This was it — the feeling he'd been missing since she'd pulled back. It was like she'd thrown him a lifeline when he felt like he was on the verge of going insane from his lack of seeing her, being around her, touching her. He hoped to all things magical that she wouldn't yank the rope back now, not when he was stranded in the middle of her ocean, lost at sea.

James felt like she was making him into an addict, only giving him a small hit of her poison at a time so that he wouldn't overdose on her. It was smart of her to know that that was a very real possibility.

She finally pulled back so they could both catch their breaths, her gaze glued to his swollen lips. "You really like me," she panted. Why did the statement sound so shocking to her? Of fucking course he fancied her something wicked.

Did he admit to that? Do I tell her and give her the key to the ticking time-bomb inside of my chest? He figured he'd rather lose his pride than her. "Yeah." His eyes went wild trying to clock every movement of her expression — trying to read into whatever he could of her body language to help him decipher if she felt the same way. She didn't seem to be physically repulsed by his confession; she was still right there, practically melded into his side, chest heaving and lips slightly parted. He felt so vulnerable, so raw, so ripe for absolutely destroying.

Finally, after James nearly had a stroke, Lily's mouth stretched into the widest grin of the night as she got on her knees, and mounted him on the couch, completely catching him off guard. Her silk gown bunched at her thighs, currently straddling his own, and James' mind glitched, wondering just how far she'd take things tonight. Her mouth was a gift as much as it was a curse, straying him off course, claiming him as she began to rock herself over him.

"You won't—" James tried to get out between kisses, needing to ask before he lost the capacity with her dry humping. He could already feel most of his logic slipping down, down, down his body. "Not like last time?" There needed to be a boundary to just what she was allowed to do to him — some sort of line drawn in the sand that James could easily point to when she bordered on treating him with an utter lack of propriety. Plus, he really didn't want to have to magic away any more stains from another pair of trunks. It was downright humiliating.

Lily pulled back smiling, running both hands through the back of his hair. James' eyelids fluttered closed, the gentle massage of her nails feeling so damn good. "Don't worry, you won't make a mess tonight." Well, what the hell does that mean? Evans' words hardly soothed his battered nerves, but soon it didn't matter, because she was lifting up the hem of his olive shirt — the one that he'd specifically chosen because it always garnered him the most compliments on his eyes, and he had so recklessly hoped would remind her of his continued existence — and James assisted her by raising his arms. "That's more like it," she mumbled to herself, scratching down the center of his pecs. "You really are so fucking fit."

The lion inside of James roared, wanting to show off, wanting to turn her on more. But her hands were on the move again, honing in on his belt which she was eagerly pulling open. "Are we—?"

"If you want," she finished his thought, yanking the buckle open and pulling the leather strip free. James could feel it slipping past each belt loop around his waist like it was a countdown.

He realized he wanted. He wanted a whole damn lot. James raised his hips as Lily unbuttoned his jeans, and tugged them down with his pants, letting his cock slap free. He froze, staring up at her face as though awaiting her final verdict. He was acutely aware that this was the first time that she had seen him fully naked.

There was a long — terrifying, anxiety-provoking, mind-melting — pause where Lily's gaze was glued to his lap. His heart only began beating again after her eyes snapped back to his… and she licked her top lip. "You've been keeping that all to yourself?" She lowered her body so that his cock rubbed between her wet lips, alerting James to the fact that she wasn't wearing knickers under that gown again. It was a tantalizingly novel sensation, the most intimate skin of another on his, that ripped a groan from the depths of his throat. His hands squeezed the fabric covering her hips while she rested her forearms on both his shoulders, perfectly at ease. "Seems awfully selfish of you," she teased.

James' head thunked down onto the back of the couch; suddenly the mere act of holding it up had become too strenuous to endure. "I was waiting for someone special." He knew perhaps that he shouldn't be so honest at a time like this, when naked and vulnerable while seated below his enemy, but he also couldn't imagine a scenario in which he should be honest more. He liked her. He fucking liked her.

Lily smiled, admiring his exposed neck before swooping in to plant open mouthed kisses down it. James hissed when he felt her teeth nibble on the delicate skin. "Am I that someone special?" she whispered.

The head of James' cock caught on the edge of her entrance for a moment before she adjusted, sliding herself outside the entire length of him again. It was like she was using her body to expertly lubricate his. "Yes," he panted.

Lily leaned back on his thighs, her arms crossing over her body as she reached for the bottom of her dress, clearly intending to pull it up and over, rendering her completely naked.

"Wait—" James panicked, eyes going wide as he perked up his head. "Don't."

"Don't?" Lily asked him puzzled.

James chanced a look down, just able to see her pussy lips hugging him. He shut his eyes rapidly, nearly losing it then and there. "I wanna last for you," he ground out of a clenched jaw, trying to ignore the pulse he felt thudding in his ears… and in his cock. "If I can see your tits… I won't." It was so embarrassing to have to admit to a girl who clearly deserved having a bloke who would hang in there for her, but he knew he wasn't at that level yet. She was so fucking hot, he'd be lucky if he lasted even two minutes. There was no need to bring her friggin' flawless body into this complete fantasy brought to life. James didn't see any need to get greedy.

When he finally opened his eyes again, Lily was staring at him sweetly. "Okay." James was immensely grateful that she hadn't put up more of a fuss about it. If anything, it looked as though she was taking James' confession as a compliment. She leaned in to kiss him, more gently this time, her lips slow and caressing, as though trying to put him at ease with her touch. He wasn't sure which side of her he enjoyed more: when she bit him, or when she traced his jaw with her fingertips, making pretty little moans into his mouth. Can I have both, forever and always?

"You really are a good man, Potter."

He still didn't understand why she said yet another thing like a whispered discovery — a secret that they alone shared. Before he could respond though, she reached between them, grasping his cock in her soft hand — and James already felt like he was edging.

She let out a small laugh as he dropped his head back, yet again, with a groan. "Stay with me, Potter."

"I promise," his eyes flitted between hers before her beauty was too much for him to handle, "I'm not going anywhere."

Had James kept his eyes open, he might have seen the way Evans' brow twitched, or the sorrow that filled her face. He might not have missed the hesitation in her following movements, or the conflict that overtook her whole body. But his eyes had been closed, and all he'd been able to focus on was the difficulty of his breathing, and the sensation of her grasp on him.

"This may hurt a little."

James was so far gone that he didn't realize she'd made a joke until he looked at her and saw her mischievous grin, clearly pleased with herself. A moment later though, all thoughts of teasing her back dissolved, because she'd positioned herself on top of him, and slowly, torturously, began sinking down.

"Fuck," James moaned as he felt her body stretch, centimeter by glorious centimeter, around his, lighting up tingles he'd never even dreamed could feel this magnificent. He willed himself to sit up straighter so that he could pull her body closer, move his face towards hers tighter so that they could breathe the same air, be in this moment together, connected, intimate — all of it. He wanted all of her.

Her brow was scrunched and her jaw lax as she kept studying him — eyes searching, pleading — whilst she cradled the back of his head and bottomed out on him. It looked like she was having a hell of a hard time keeping her eyelids open.

He noticed her expression now. "All right, Evans?" he panted, one hand coming up to touch her cheek while the other rested on the small of her back in what he hoped was a comforting hold. She was all over him, all at once, and still he found himself wanting more.

She turned her head and slipped two of his fingers into her mouth, sucking on them instead of answering. "Fuck," James repeated, a lot more agitated this time. He could not come in thirty seconds, he wouldn't do it.

Lily smiled around his fingers as she slowly popped them out, still allowing him time to acclimate to the unreal feeling of her cunt squeezing his whole cock. She was so tight, and warm. "You all right?"

Fine. He supposed that's what he got for caring a little too much. (He cared so much more than that still.) She captured his lips for another drawn-out, agonizing kiss, her tongue taking its time in exploring his mouth. James' hands ran up her back until he reached her hair and he buried his fingers through her locks, still wanting her impossibly closer.

"Tell me how much you like me," she whispered unexpectedly when they broke free.

His eyes oscillated between hers, not really believing what he was hearing. Does it matter? Did how consummately head over heels he was with her mean something to her? Does she feel this spark too? Did it scare her?

"Lily…" He wasn't sure if it was having her in his arms, or the cozy, safe cocoon of the fire's heat, but James couldn't keep it in. He was having sex with this woman — having sex! — and he wanted her to know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. "I fancy you like crazy," he whispered like a vow.

She leaned in and gave him a tender peck on the lips before leaning her forehead against his. "I'll be gentle… this time."

Fuck me. This side of her, her words, the promise of unimaginable pleasure in his imminent future… and the implication that this was only the beginning of their trysts? It was almost too much for James' poor heart to handle. He and Lily would keep doing this, keep physically expressing whatever feelings had them here, locked in this beautiful embrace. James could not fucking wait.

Even though she'd just warned him, James was still unprepared for when Lily began rocking her hips over his, not pulling him fully in and out of her as much as using his cock to rub herself from within. It turned out that James positively loved when she used his body to get herself off. It was his turn to study her, get mesmerized by her, as she started succumbing to her pleasure, her usually calculated movements becoming more tempestuous and uncontrolled. Her nails dug into the back of his neck for leverage, and she threw her head back releasing the most beautiful moan he'd ever heard into the air. She was losing it on him, she was losing it because of him. His cock was on its way to getting her there, and all he had to do was hold on. James didn't know if he'd ever felt like more of the shit in his life. "Lily," he groaned, pulling one of the nightgown straps that had fallen off of her shoulder back into place over the end of her prominent collarbone, "how can I help you—"

"Touch me," she commanded.

James reached between them, palming both of her breasts as they bounced, swiping his thumbs across her nipples until they pebbled beneath silk. He was trying to ignore his own pleasure, trying to imagine anything other than the magnificence that he was currently living through, but no matter what he tried, it was futile. He leaned into the crook of her neck, his teeth grazing her skin, contemplating whether to bite or suck. He settled on a pained amalgamation of both, trying to temper the immensity of his enjoyment of her fucking cunt. How would he ever be able to think about anything other than her? How was he ever expected to pretend like she wasn't on his mind, day and night, especially when he was presently shagging her?

He, James Potter, was fucking Lily Evans.

"Fuck, Lily," James warned, drawing back with fear in his eyes. They hadn't talked about where he was allowed to come. And now, as he was on the very verge of doing so (so pathetically early, shit), seemed like a terrible time to discuss it. Fucking shit, fuckkkkk, this was so mortifying, he didn't want his first time to be over so fast. He'd barely gotten to savor it — something very different than enjoy it, because he felt like his problem was that he was enjoying it a little too much. Most of all though, he wished he'd been able to make her come first. It seemed so selfish that whilst she was still in the midst of finding her pleasure, he was finishing up, practically robbing her of all her fun. "I'm gonna— where should I—?"

"Come in me, James," she demanded, zero hesitation in her voice.

And so he did. Lily swallowed his moan after a few seconds, still rocking on top of him as she fully wrapped her arms around his head, hugging him close. James wasn't sure if it was the surge of hormones, but he could have sworn she felt his high too. He had never felt more in tune with someone's body, never wanted to pause a moment and capture its essence more than right now. He would gladly take this memory and magic it into a lavender haze, trapping it inside of a Pensieve forever. He wanted to stay.

She drew back from his lips, her face cracking into a smile when she saw the dumb, satisfied look on his. "So… how was it?"

"Wanna go again?"

Lily laughed, slapping at his chest in mock admonishment. "You couldn't handle round two."

James couldn't contain the shit-eating grin on his face if he tried. "There's only one way to find out, love."

Lily snorted. "Maybe later, Romeo." Who the fuck is Romeo? "I'm actually a little sore now, it's been a minute since—"

"Wait—" James yelped as Lily moved to dismount him, holding down her hips desperately. He couldn't bring himself to say it, but he wanted, no needed, this moment to last. It was his first time after all…

She seemed to see it in his eyes. Without another word, she leaned back in, nudging him with her nose, making him tilt his head. He didn't know how to describe it, but it was somehow the most innocent and affectionate action he'd ever received — and he couldn't believe it was from her. He smiled as he obliged her, repositioning his face so that she could kiss him deeply and slow. She understood what this meant to him — she knew — and against all odds, she was taking it seriously. She was ensuring that the best moment of his life could be prolonged by a few more magical kisses. "Take me to bed, James?"

Only with the assurance of those words did James feel okay with her getting off of him — though he still hissed with her loss, already counting down the seconds until he could bury himself inside of her again — and letting her lead him up his staircase. As they settled into his bed, as he spooned her all night, he couldn't believe this was his life. He was so blissfully happy, so stupidly smitten, that he fell asleep almost right away, her body in his arms and her scent staining his pillow.

Reality only came back to him when he woke up, and she was already gone.