Summer was becoming only a distant memory as the school year whirled into action and between cheer practice and a healthy social life Joan had barely anytime to think about the trauma that she had gone through over the summer.
Joan had practiced perhaps more than she ever had in her entire life to be the cheerleader she was known to be.
Or well, Agatha was known to be.
Apparently Agatha had been known for her flips and under a pact oath between her and Dustin she would never tell a soul that he was the prime reason she could do... anything.
There were a few hiccups throughout the school year as new faces entered her life and she tried to memorize them all without looking like a bitch while also looking like a bitch because Joan was a bit of a... bitch.
She had successfully integrated herself into cheer with near weekly sleep overs and shoved her brother straight into the demonic arms of DnD before the first month of the school year had even begun. In a turn of events she had unintentionally made Eddie Munson her rival - it was his fault - and the school semester was filled with the two verbally tearing each other's throats out.
By extension the cheerleading team and Hellfire Club didn't even look at the each other. It was quite exhilarating to have a group of people willing to be so ride or die just because you didn't like one person and didn't even have to give a reason. There was also a sting at having your own club glare at you.
Well the Hellfire Club wasn't technically her club right now, but she had five of those dumb shirts in her closet plus the hoodie and promotional socks from her freshman year.
Back at home.
Joan bit her lip and nervously shook her pompoms while waiting in the line up to run out in front of the school to prepare the students for the basketball season. It was rather strange for her to realize that basketball was what the school was known for because in the 21st century their football team was in the top 5 in Indiana. But she never really kept track of sports. It was terrible, but Joan still had no idea how basketball worked.
"Alright, Tiger Cheer Squad! Let's go out and spread some cheer!" Chrissy smiled pleasantly to the team and the positivity grew like a fungus around them all, turning the sting of her chest into butterflies in her stomach as she raced out into the gym.
She did her flips, handsprings, grins, and waves before her stomach dropped as she was thrown into the air to do some more before the routine came to an end. There was some Sunday school lesson hidden in there about how months of practice leads up to a five minute routine.
Joan followed the girls with a wide smile that was only real while giving a small distinct wave to her brother who returned it with a smile of his own. She winked at Mike teasingly who turned away with a red face and stumbled nearly falling. She giggled evilly in her head at her revenge from when he accidentally walked in on her in the shower a few weeks ago.
Jason Carver, future Baptist preacher or politician, began his speech about dying children in Africa or whatever sob speech he wanted to tie into his own self righteous greed and Joan had to give all that she had to maintain the uncomfortable kneeling position.
"Chrissy. I love you babe."
Joan faked a gag to Missy next to her who only snickered and lightly shoved the brunette in a friendly shut up to which Joan rolled her eyes playfully. She pushed down the memory from Monday of Missy accidentally stepping on what of the Hellfire member's homework causing it to rip under her heel. Instead she thought about the girl trading manicures at Beth's house two weeks ago.
Everything was going great and it was the first school event Joan actually enjoyed attending, because everyone's attitude was addictive. There were no phones or computers eating up everyone's braincells so the entertainment was people. Real, love, face to face interactions that had Joan feeling more alive than ever before and the small smile on her face was... real.
Until he brought up the summer.
The further Jason dramatized the mass death of the town's citizens the sicker Joan started to feel. Her grin dropped, her eyes widened, and her hands dropped the pompoms because holy fuck they have no idea what really happened.
And they never will.
Worse yet, she knew. Joan was there and Joan watched people die gruesome deaths that she had figured only Uncle Lucas had witnessed from his time in the army as a combat soldier.
"Think about everyone who perished that night in the fire."
Think about the memories implanted in your head of bones breaking and flesh melting into a creature of nightmare.
"What did they die for?"
For the government. Another attempt to hide the mistake of some federal three letter agency fuck up that caused the needless death of kids as young as 8 and the near death of her brother-dad.
"Think of Heather."
Her pompoms drop and her face turned ashen as she was thrown into a pit of memories from the summer that she had spent many nights trying to compartmentalize. Heather, sweet Heather whose love and compassion became her bitter end. A suffering to great to imagine and no one left to properly remember her because even Joan was unable to do so.
"Let's win this game for them!"
They won nothing. No one won here. Nobody won anything besides a lifetime of trauma, nightmares, and a fear of fireworks.
"And that's what we did!"
The roaring applause since Joan jolting forward and her hand touched her chest to feel the thundering bump bump bump of her her heart begging to break free. Her vision tunneled and her throat felt like a sink faucet turning off as she bolted towards the exit, using the cheers as a mask of her leave.
She ran down the hallway and into the first bathroom she found - if a staff needed the toilet they'd have to write her up - and knelt down just in time for the anxiety to burst out of her mouth in the form of her lunch. Joan briefly thought about the sanitation of holding onto a public toilet and let go, staring at her lap in a daze as the memories ran through head over and over and over and over and over and it never stops. Its a loop fast-forwarded and reversed with every word ingrained in her head better than any of David Tenant's episodes on Doctor Who.
She was so lost and the clock kept ticking because even if she were to get out of this time period could she go back to being Joan? Her hands played with the hem of her skirt and Joan tried to imagine herself once again sitting on the throne while leading a campaign but she felt none of the excitement that once came with her hobby.
Bile once again left her lips as she tried to remember who she was because time was ticking and she needed to go home before too much more was lost and-
""ᵀⁱᵐᵉ ⁱˢ ᵃ ˢᵗᵒʳᵐ ⁱⁿ ʷʰⁱᶜʰ ʷᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃˡˡ ˡᵒˢᵗ."
Joan's head snapped behind and her jaw dropped in horror as she tried to scramble away from the twin of herself staring at her in the entrance of the bathroom. The same burdened eyes bore a hole into her soul and Joan could of sworn she heard the distant sound of begging and water swarming through her mind like a distant childhood nightmare.
There was no more room left in the cramped staff bathroom and her twin took a step towards her. Joan's hands gripped the sides of her heads in panic shaking it back and forth as she tried to get rid of the image in front of her.
"ᴸᵒˢᵗ"
"G-go away!" Joan finally managed to stammer out, clenching her eyes shut because if she didn't see anything it didn't exist and she would rather die with that train of thought than try to figure out what the fuck was happening. It wasn't listening, she could feel it getting closer and with a soaring panic Joan threw her body at the haunting image in a last ditch effort. "I-I said leave me alone!"
"Joan! Joan! Ags, it's me!" The owner of the voice was quick to grab the girls wrist and subdue her, frowning at the sob that left Joan's lips and the way she refused to open her eyes. "Ags, i-it's me! Steve! You can open your eyes."
Another sob broke free -maybe two- before Joan slowly opened her eyes and stared into the deeply concerned face of Steve Harrington. "...you good Ags?" She broke down and Steve barely had time to catch the girl and guide her softly onto the ground. "Hey, hey, hey. No falling apart unless you're gonna help me put the pieces back together, got it Henderson?"
Joan was able to manage a weak chuckle, wiping her eyes and shoving her hands over her face. "God I just... I don't know how to... fuck..."
Steve snorted as he plopped down next the nearly hysterical teen. "You're trying to explain traumatic responses to the guy whose been dealing with them for years. You don't have to explain anything."
It was more than just a traumatic response, but Joan was nowhere near ready for the hey I'm from 2022 and my brother is my dad and I'm being haunted by a mysterious twin surprise! conversation and she never wanted to be. Instead, Steve just sat there in the silence while Joan let out a few more sobs over the next couple of minutes. Selfishly, she needed someone that was emotionally understanding unlike her mother who was never home or her father/brother who emotions just seemed to elude.
"...thanks for checking on me."
"Hey, what can I say? See a pretty girl run away after some jerk used her traumatic event for some prestige? My knight in shining armor kicks in."
"More like knight in a shit ton of hair spray."
Steve shrugged and dramatically pushed his hair back sending Joan into a fit of laughter. Somehow Steve had a superpower to make people feel better, but Joan wasn't going to question it. The guy was better at feelings than most women and somehow Joan had once landed Steve Harrington as a boyfriend then promptly ruined it.
There was the occasional thought that Joan should take making a uncle Steve into her uncle into her own hands.
But than Joan shoved the though deep into the ravine of her mind in frantic embarrassment because shit that thought was disgusting.
"How's you even get in? Aren't you supposed to be graduated?"
"Robin invited me. Plus, I've got a good reputation 'round here. The hair helps."
"You're insufferable."
"Maybe if I could spell that I would be in college."
"Steve!" Joan whacked the boy on the arm in disapproval but Steve only chuckled at the successful change in atmosphere, standing up and Joan accepted the help with a grin. "Thanks Steve. I really appreciate it."
"Anytime, Ags. Seriously." Steve made a show of gesturing to the door like a butler, a terrible attempt at a posh accent coating his tongue. "After you, m'lady."
Playing along, Joan curtsied and giggled, exiting the bathroom with a new found smile that dropped into a horrified expression at who was staring at her from only a few feet away.
"Oi, Joan you forgot your hair scrunchie. It must have fallen out when we - oof!" Steve knocked into Joan, arms wrapping around her waist to keep both of them from falling to the ground. Once he looked looked forward his concern dropped into a scowl at the metalhead in front of them. "Munson."
"Harrington." Eddie mocked, eyes trailing around the arms around Joan's waist, the messy hair, and the scrunchy around Steve's wrist and his mind turning at the damning location of both of them coming out of a small bathroom. "Guess you don't take long to get around, huh, Henderson?"
"Shut the fuck up, freak." Joan hissed out, annoyed that Steve wouldn't let her go slap the boy into next week. The infuriating look on Eddie's face as if he had witnessed a politicians damning moments sent her face into red.
"Come on Joan. Let's just go." Steve led Joan away from a snickering Eddie, his own anger was half a second from getting the best of him. "He's not worth it."
"Not surprised you brought him into a small room. Seems to be your MO."
"You know what? Fuck you Munson!" Joan called out angrily, only vaguely allowing Steve to pull her away from the drug dealing teen crossing his arms and leaning against the wall as he stared deceptively at the two. Underneath the laidback stare was hard eyes staring back at her and a sneer on his lip.
"You already did that, princess."
"You're such a fucking asshole."
"Yeah and you're a bitch. Are you gonna shut up long enough?"