Chapter 2 - Freedom
Author's Note: No, we're not including everything in TPM, because it's not necessary. Enjoy teeny tiny Ahsoka! :D
~ Amina Gila
The Temple, or whatever Qui-Gon said it was called, is enormous. It's big enough that Jacen feels lost, and it's scary. But Jacen mostly just misses Anakin, and their mother.
And he doesn't want to be alone in this place with so many strange people. It's even worse when Obi-Wan just drops him off at this... somewhere inside the Temple and leaves.
There's an adult there of a strange species he's never seen before, who starts explaining about life as a Jedi. He's not really following. He just wants his mother and brother back. Anakin promised they would go back, but Tatooine feels like so far away, and Jacen just wants to be back at home where he...
It's safer here than there, but it doesn't feel like it.
He feels lost and all alone, and he doesn't understand why Qui-Gon said he couldn't stay with Anakin. That doesn't make sense. They've always stayed together!
Anakin promised he's going to come see him, though, but Jacen doesn't want to wait anymore. But he doesn't know where he could go to find him either, not when everything is so big and scary.
He runs the first chance he gets, crawling behind a pillar. Maybe if he sits here long enough with his eyes closed, Anakin will come sooner. Or he'll wake up back home with his mother.
All he knows is there's too many people here, and he wants everybody to go away. He didn't know being a Jedi would be so scary. He feels someone close by, but back here, they shouldn't be able to see him, right?
Something yanks Jacen's short, brown hair suddenly, and he jumps, eyes flying open with a yelp. There's someone hovering right over him, and he hits at them purely on instinct.
"Ow!" the young Togruta yelps, backing away with a huff.
"You pulled my hair!" Jacen accuses.
"You hit me!"
"You did it first!"
"Why are you hiding?" she asks.
He stands up, sullenly. He was supposed to appear back with his mother, not stay here. And Anakin is still nowhere in sight. "I'm not hiding," Jacen insists stubbornly.
"Then why are you behind a... thingy?"
"It's not a thingy! It's a beam!"
The girl wrinkles her nose. "No, it's not!"
"Is too. I see these in big places before!" Important places that is, or... whatever the word is supposed to be. Jacen has no idea.
"What big places?"
"Everywhere!"
"You just got here," she observes.
"Yeah," Jacen admits, "It's big and strange."
"I just did, too," the girl says, brightening, "It was weeks ago but everyone still says that's new, for some reason."
How weird. Several weeks is a long time. He can't imagine being without his mother for even several more days. The thought is nearly enough to make him cry, but he's big now, and with strangers, so he won't. "I'm Jacen Skywakah."
"Ahsoka," the Togruta replies, "Tano. But who cares about that. What's a last name for?"
Jacen shrugs. "I don't know. Adults always talk about them."
She scrunches up her face again. "It sounds silly."
"I know," he agrees, then pauses, looking around, "What do we do here?"
"Lotta things!" Ahsoka replies cheerfully, "I can show you around."
**w**
They're making their way through the halls of the Temple when he hears someone calling, "Qui-Gon!"
They pause, and Anakin looks up to see a dark-haired man who looks older than Qui-Gon approaching. "Master," Qui-Gon replies with a slight nod, but there's a distinctly happy note in his voice.
Wait, this is the person who trained Qui-Gon?!
Somehow, it's... strange to imagine him being an apprentice once.
The man throws a curious glance at Anakin, before turning back to Qui-Gon, asking him about his report to the Council for what happened on Tatooine. "And you believe it was a Sith Lord?" A Sith? What's that?
Qui-Gon nods.
"I gather the Council was not eager to validate that conclusion?" He doesn't sound happy for some reason. And if Qui-Gon was the one who fought this... warrior, why would the Council disagree?
"No, they were not, Master."
"I've been warning them about the coming darkness for years, never to be taken seriously."
Coming darkness? Anakin can't deny that something about those words unsettles him, even if he doesn't know why. He hardly understands what they're talking about. All he wants is to go find his brother. And Jacen is probably panicking out there alone, and Anakin doesn't know when he'll ever be able to make him feel better about it, either.
A small, green creature that Anakin's never seen anything like in his life is walking right near them – it's literally shorter than him – and she pauses, looking up. "Speaking on behalf of the Council, there's no reason to cause undue alarm."
"So, you doubt his claim?" Qui-Gon's master asks unhappily.
"No, I do not, but the wisdom of the Council is to be cautious until we know more," she replies. Wait, is she a Council member? The thought only makes him even more nervous.
"Master Yaddle is right about one thing," his master says, laying a hand on Qui-Gon's shoulder, "A Sith Lord is not to be trifled with, and I will not be there to protect you, my old padawan."
For some reason, Anakin has a very bad feeling about this now. If Qui-Gon's master is so worried about a threat to the Jedi, they must be dangerous. He didn't even know such a thing was possible, but then again, there was that... person Qui-Gon fought on Tatooine.
"You need not worry, Master. Obi-Wan fills that role now. He acquits himself quite well."
"That's good. I should like to meet him someday. You're always singing his praises." He pauses, glancing down at Anakin again, questioningly. Likely because Anakin sticks out so much – he's not dressed like anyone else around, and it's very obvious he doesn't belong here.
"Master, this is Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, this is my master, Dooku."
"Why is he here?" Dooku asks.
"I found him on Tatooine. He is very strong in the Force. I believe he may be the Chosen One."
Wait, Chosen One? What's that? He wants to ask, but he knows better than to interrupt other people's conversations. He'll have to ask later.
"I see," Dooku replies, "And I assume you are quite aware that the Council would never train someone so old?"
What?!
Anakin looks up sharply despite everything. What does he mean they'll never agree to train him?! Why wouldn't they? What's... that doesn't make any sense!
"The circumstances are different here," Qui-Gon replies.
"Perhaps. But I do not believe the Council will see it that way."
"We have not reached any decision," Yaddle speaks up, "But the Council is gathering again. We should go."
Anakin waits until Dooku and Yaddle have left, before turning to Qui-Gon. "Why wouldn't they train me?"
"You are old to be trained, Anakin, but these circumstances are different. I believe they will understand that. They just want to speak with you."
He hopes that's true, but it doesn't stop his fear. What if they don't train him? He can't even imagine what that would mean, after he's given up everything to become a Jedi. "What's the... Chosen One?" Anakin asks.
"There is an ancient prophecy about someone created by the Force, who is destined to bring balance to the Force."
... What?
He wasn't created by the Force, was he? Mom always said he didn't have a father, but on Tatooine that always meant... that his father was likely a slaver. And what does it mean to 'bring balance to the Force'? Why isn't it balanced? "I don't understand."
"You will in time," Qui-Gon assures, "It's not important right now. Come. The Council is waiting."
**w**
Every moment in the Council chambers as they all stare him down – it feels as though they're staring straight through him, seeing his every thought and emotion – feels like torture. All he can remember is those times he was taken to an auction, and – he'd felt like this, like he was some specimen being studied.
He'd been so terrified that someone might actually want to buy him, or Jacen, or his mother and that Watto would accept, and they'd be separated forever. Not so unlike what could happen now. He doesn't even know what they want from him, but they're expecting something to see if he's... good enough, and he doesn't even know what.
The meeting ends finally, and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are called in, only for Master Windu to announce that they aren't going to train him.
It's what he was so terrified of all this time – and they kept pointing out how scared he was, as though he couldn't be, and saying he needs to 'let go' of Mom and Jacen, whatever that even means – and now it's... it's happening.
They won't let him become a Jedi.
And that means Jacen will be one, and he won't be able to see him again because he can't even stay here. His shock is rapidly fading to denial and overwhelming pain. Everything he's ever dreamed for will never happen, and it means he left his mother for nothing. It means Jacen will be abandoned in a strange place all alone, and Anakin might not even get to tell him goodbye.
It's only through stubbornness alone that he doesn't break down entirely. He will not cry in front of the people who just ruined what was left of... everything to him.
It doesn't make sense. The Jedi were supposed to be good. They are good, right? So, why are they doing this? He can't understand it.
Qui-Gon insists that he'll train him anyway, but the Council just tells him that he can't because he already has Obi-Wan as an apprentice.
Anakin has no idea what that will mean, but then, they're just dismissed because there's apparently more pressing matters to deal with.
He wants to say something to Qui-Gon as they step out of the Council chambers, but he doesn't think he could risk saying anything without breaking down entirely.
"There's still a chance," Qui-Gon assures him, "I'll take you with me when we go to Naboo, but perhaps after that, I will still be able to train you."
"What about Jacen?" is all he can get out, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.
"You'll see him when we return," he promises, "The situation is... urgent, and right now, we must leave immediately."
He doesn't think he can even bring himself to ask if he'll still be able to see him if he's never trained.
**w**
It isn't until they're in hyperspace on the way to Naboo that Anakin manages to think of anything other than what's been ripped away from him. How all of this may have been for nothing.
Being with Jar Jar and Artoo helps, at least a little.
But now, he can't help but think back to what Dooku was saying about these Sith. He doesn't know what's so deadly about them, but he can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen, something connected with this.
Maybe he should talk to Qui-Gon about it, except he can't find the Jedi Master anywhere. The only one he can find is Obi-Wan.
And he doesn't really want to talk to him, because he knows the padawan is angry with him.
"The boy is dangerous. They all sense it. Why can't you?"
He has no idea what that means, but it... hurt. Especially knowing that it's because of this that he might never see his brother again. Qui-Gon's safety when they go to fight the Sith again is more important, though.
"What's a Sith?" Anakin finally asks.
Obi-Wan stiffens, looking down at him. Anakin isn't entirely certain if the padawan knew he was here before he started talking. There's something sharp and icy about him that makes Anakin want to back away, but he won't. He can't show weakness. He needs to be brave. "Ancient enemies of the Jedi," he replies after a pause, "They use the Dark Side. They were thought to have been destroyed a millennia ago in the last war between them and the Jedi."
He doesn't really know what the Dark Side is, but... it sounds dark, just like that being who attacked Qui-Gon had felt. "I... saw Qui-Gon's master," he continues, "He said something about a... coming darkness?"
"None of us can predict the future," Obi-Wan replies firmly, tone brooking no room for argument.
"But," Anakin says, hands twisting together as anxiety gnaws at him, "But I think something... bad will happen."
"A... feeling?" he asks, and Anakin offers a tentative nod. "We cannot control the future," Obi-Wan tells him, "But we will be careful."
Anakin can only desperately hope that'll be enough.
**w**
Night comes too quickly, and there's still no sign of Anakin anywhere. Jacen doesn't know who to ask either – it's not like he can talk to the Masters because that's not his... place and the other children won't know. But he misses him terribly, and he just wants him to come, and he doesn't understand why he's not.
Did they do something to him? Is he okay? He promised his mother he was going to stick to Anakin's side no matter what, and now he can't, all because of these people.
Jacen also doesn't know why these people are called 'masters', when the Jedi are supposed to be good, and they're supposed to be free. But the masters give everybody orders they have to follow even though no one seems scared of them, so he doesn't understand.
He's finally sent off to bed in a room full of other children for the night, where each of them has their own bed. He's never even seen a bed before and laying in it feels like he's floating in the air, and his head is at a strange angle.
And he always sleeps next to Anakin or his mother and he doesn't want to be by himself, but he can't go find them. All he wants to do is cry now. And hide, because this is strange and foreign, and he doesn't like closing his eyes in a room full of so many strange people, even if they aren't masters.
Finally, he slips out of bed, crawling underneath instead. Falling asleep is a lot easier after that, but he still feels so lonely.
Anakin still isn't back in the morning.
Instead, Jacen starts classes with the other younglings. It's strange to have to sit still for so long, and the things he's doing aren't anything he's remotely used to. Although, he thinks he kind of likes it.
It would be easier if he knew why Anakin wasn't coming back, though. Where is here? He would come the moment he could, so why aren't the Jedi letting him?! Qui-Gon promised they would, and...
Ahsoka pokes his arm. "Why are you staring at the ceiling?"
"I'm not!" he protests fiercely. Okay, maybe he was, but admitting to not being constantly working is bad, his mother has always told him.
"Were too," she insists, "Why?"
Jacen glances around carefully to make sure no one's looking. "I miss my brother," he admits, forcing away the instinctive urge to cry.
"You have a brother?" she asks, curiously.
He nods. "He's here too. He said he would come, but he hasn't."
"Why isn't he here?" she objects.
"He bigger than me," Jacen explains.
"Oh." Ahsoka pats his arm. "At least he's here. I miss my mommy and daddy."
"I miss Mommy, too," he replies, a sharp pang running through him, "She's far away."
"I lived by big trees," she replies, waving her hands to emphasize the point.
Jacen's face scrunches. "What's a tree?"
Ahsoka looks at him incredulously. "How don't you know what a tree is?" she yelps.
"Where I was, everything was covered in sand," Jacen replies. It was fun to play in, at least, when it wasn't windy. He almost misses it, because the floors here are too smooth and shiny, and he hasn't even been able to go outside.
"I wanna see more sand," she insists.
"I built towers! And dragons!" he says cheerfully. "We have dragons there."
"We have sabertooths at home," Ahsoka replies seriously, "One of them is my friend."
Oh. He feels an instinctive flare of jealousy. "Dragons don't want friends. They're mean."
"Then we can be friends instead!" Ahsoka replies with a grin, and he grins back. Maybe being here isn't so bad after all.
Still, he just wants Anakin to come.
But night comes first again, and he's sent back to sleep in that strange room. But he really doesn't want to stay here again all alone, and after carefully peeking around the room to make sure everyone is sleeping, Jacen climbs out of bed tiptoeing out into the hall.
This room is only for the boys, but Ahsoka's room with the other girls isn't much further down the hall. He creeps as quietly as he can to the room, and tiptoes down the row of beds, until he spots hers. Everyone seems to be sleeping already, fortunately, so he soundlessly climbs in next to her.
She won't mind, will she?
His mother and Anakin never did. And she said they're friends.
Ahsoka shifts in bed, eyes popping open. "What are you doing?" she hisses in a whisper.
"Can I stay?" he whispers back, borrowing under the covers so no one will see him.
"Why?"
"I don't wanna be alone."
"Okay," she whispers back, curling up next to him. She doesn't mind, which is good. Maybe until Anakin gets back – which better be tomorrow – he won't have to be alone after all.
Except, the next morning, when everyone's waking up, they're all looking at him like he's some freak for being in here, and Ahsoka tries to argue for him, but then one of the masters comes in.
They aren't impressed with it and tell him that he's supposed to be staying in his hall at night, which means he can't stay with Ahsoka after all.
He thought he was going to love being a Jedi, but he's beginning to change his mind. This isn't fair. At least before, things made sense. Now everything is strange, and he just wants his mother and brother.
**w**
The end of the walkway is much too far away, and Obi-Wan runs as fast as he can for the other end, but it's not fast enough. The ray shields hiss closed before he can reach them, trapping him far away from Qui-Gon and the Sith – even if they're momentarily separated from each other.
Obi-Wan hasn't been able to shake his conversation with Anakin from mind, and... he just has this feeling. He didn't notice it until after the conversation, when he truly started thinking of what it could mean to be fighting the first Sith in a thousand years.
What if – he can't let his master fight the Sith alone. Even together, they haven't come close to landing a killing blow yet, and all he can remember is what Anakin mentioned Dooku was saying. If Qui-Gon's master was this concerned for his safety – not to mention the strange feeling Obi-Wan's getting now that he's actually paying attention to it – he can't risk it.
He can't keep waiting. He hates waiting, more than anything, in a fight, and now, it's even worse. Especially when it's Qui-Gon's safety at stake.
Obi-Wan scrambles to the control panel for the lasers, looking for any buttons he can push that will turn it off. There's nothing, and he thinks the only way to shut it down will be by cutting the wires completely.
It's a risk, but it's even riskier to leave his master to fight the Sith alone.
He doesn't know if he'll be able to get all the way through the hall before they close again, so he doesn't wait. The moment the ray shields start deactivating he slashes through the controls, and with a hiss, they go off. Obi-Wan runs down the hall, for the fighting duo, joining the fight instantly.
The duel of green and blue against red is fast and furious, as it travels around the room with a pit in the center. The Sith is good, but they will defeat him. They have to.
The Force hums with warning, as a Force wave catches Obi-Wan, throwing him across the room. Qui-Gon swings to block the Sith's next blow, but it's not fast enough, and the blade cuts down sharply, running right through him.
The world freezes around Obi-Wan, his blood turning to ice with desperation, denial, and fury. He barely registers his own cry of horror as he lunges forwards for the Sith.
And this time, it's the Zabrak who doesn't turn quick enough, and Obi-Wan slashes cleanly straight through him, stepping back as he tumbles down the pit in the center of the room.
Obi-Wan deactivates his blade instantly, dropping to his knees next to Qui-Gon. "Master?" he calls desperately, pulling him into his arms. The blade didn't go all the way through him, but it's deep, and the cauterization isn't going to last long. It barely missed his spine, or he'd already be dead, but that doesn't say much.
His face is tensed with pain, and – and – he's dying. No, no, no, Obi-Wan can't let that happen. He needs to find help. He needs to –
"Obi-Wan," he rasps faintly.
"Master," he repeats again desperately, grip tightening, "It's – I can take you... somewhere..." Though he doesn't know where because there's still a battle going on but he has to. Surely, there's a medical center around here somewhere – he can destroy the droids on the way maybe. He needs treatment now. It can't wait.
"Train – the boy," Qui-Gon coughs.
"I will," Obi-Wan promises immediately, without thinking about it even. He could hardly refuse his master's request now when – when he doesn't even know if he's going to make it. He doesn't know if he's going to survive, even if he can't let himself believe anything else.
**w**
Anakin knows something is wrong when he returns to the surface. He knew before, actually, but he couldn't let himself be distracted by it. There was a battle to fight, and it was... fun.
Except he's probably going to be in trouble for it.
He did win the battle though, so...
Except everything is in complete chaos right now, and he doesn't see Qui-Gon. It's not until a while later that he runs into Obi-Wan, who tells him that his master was injured, before Obi-Wan disappears again.
That shouldn't be possible. No one should be able to hurt Qui-Gon, but it clearly happened. And now, Anakin isn't quite sure where he belongs, or what he's supposed to be doing.
It's Padme who first pulls him aside to talk to him about his... accident of blowing up the Trade Federation ship. It's the first time they've talked since he realized she was queen. She's in control of an entire planet, and somehow, she still has time to talk to him. "What you did was very brave, but very risky," she says.
"I was just trying to help," he offers sheepishly.
"I know," Padme replies, "And you did. You saved all of us, but you could have been killed doing it. A space battle is far more dangerous than a pod race."
"But it worked!" he protests.
"I know," she replies, giving him a hug. He hugs her back, tightly. It's still strange to think that he's friends with a queen.
"I don't know what's gonna happen," Anakin says, when they pull apart. He's still terrified over where things will go from here. "They weren't going to train me, and Qui-Gon said he would, but he can't now." He doesn't even know if he's going to make it, and he can't imagine Qui-Gon dying. Dooku was right that they needed to be worried about the Sith, and now...
"I'm sure they'll consider it again," Padme replies, frowning.
"They said I was too old."
"I know Jedi are usually taken young, but... I didn't know their rules were that strict," she comments.
"I – I don't know if they'll let me see Jacen," he admits.
"I can't believe they wouldn't," Padme assures. He can only hope that she's right. "But I imagine they're distracted right now with what happened in the battle. They'll probably be staying until the parade, and... until Qui-Gon's condition is stable."
Anakin nods grimly at that. He doesn't even know how bad it is, and he knows all too well how this could end. But he can't imagine Qui-Gon dying. He can't.
It feels wrong to even be talking about having a celebration when Qui-Gon is still in this condition.
In the end, the Jedi do apparently reconsider training Anakin, even if that doesn't make every day that he's spent on Naboo not knowing what will happen any less torturous. Jacen must be panicking back on Coruscant, and Anakin has no way of making sure he's okay.
Obi-Wan finally comes to talk to him again. "I will train you," he says, almost curtly.
That's – the last thing he expected to hear, seeing that Obi-Wan doesn't seem to be very appreciative about it, but it means Anakin will see Jacen again. And he's going to become a Jedi, like he always dreamed of. After everything that happened, it feels like he can't see them in quite the same light anymore, but that doesn't mean he wants to be one any less.
**w**
It isn't until Anakin's tour of the Temple that he finally gets to see Jacen again. They just came here early this morning, and Qui-Gon was immediately taken to the healer's wring. Anakin was able to see him very briefly because he had to go there, too, to get checked up for some reason, and seeing him lying so still was... it hurts.
It's... strange being around Obi-Wan this much, and even more so that he's supposed to be calling him 'master'. Obi-Wan said it doesn't mean the same thing it does on... Tatooine, but the title still makes Anakin uncomfortable. Not as if that matters.
"Ani!" Jacen shrieks, flying into his arms the moment he catches sight of him.
Anakin pulls him close, clinging to him tightly. They were apart for days, longer than ever before, and he never wants that to happen again. Though from what Obi-Wan was saying about Jedi and attachments – it still doesn't make any sense to him – he doesn't know how much time they're ever going to have together anymore.
"I miss you," Jacen mumbles, burying his face in Anakin's shoulder.
"Me too," he murmurs, "How is it here? Are you alright?"
"I'm friends with Ahsoka!" Jacen announces proudly, pulling back, "She a Toguuta!"
"Togruta," Anakin corrects, smiling. At least he seems to be alright.
"Where were you?" Jacen demands, "It was days!"
"They weren't going to train me," he explains, "So Qui-Gon took me to Naboo, and there was a battle there. I got to fly a spaceship into the battle and blew up the droid control ship."
Jacen stares at him, eyes wide with awe. "You did a real battle?"
"A real one," he agrees, "But then that person who attacked Qui-Gon on Tatooine came, and he hurt him."
"Is he okay?" Jacen asks, alarmed.
"He... will be. I'm Obi-Wan's padawan now. And I have my own room now, but it's far away from here."
"A room by yourself?"
"Yeah. It's so big. And it has a bed."
Jacen's face scrunches. "They're weird."
"I know."
"I have to share with so many people, and they say I can't stay with Ahsoka. Can I stay with you now?" He looks so hopeful, and Anakin wishes he could say yes, but he already knows the answer to that. It was beyond jarring to have to sleep without Jacen at his side, but he knows he'll have to get used to it somehow. They can't go to each other's quarters constantly.
"I don't think... they'll let us."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Obi-Wan told me Initiates aren't allowed to wander the Temple, but... I'll come here whenever I can."
Jacen doesn't look much happier at the words. "Why does your hair look weird?" he asks instead.
Oh. That. Right. "I had to cut it," Anakin explains, "Padawans are supposed to have a braid."
"Only girls have braids!"
"Jedi are different," he offers, "And Ahsoka doesn't have a braid."
"That doesn't count!"
"Obi-Wan says all padawans will have braids. Even he had one."
"I don't want one," Jacen protests.
"If you do, you'll look like me," he offers, and Jacen brightens. "Want to hear the story of the battle? Flying the spaceship was wizard."
"Yes!" he squeals.
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