Lorelai was uncharacteristically silent on the ride to Hartford that evening. She shifted around in the passenger seat of the Mercedes-Benz convertible that Chris had borrowed from his mother for the weekend, trying to get comfortable in the stiff leather seat, her head tilted towards the window as the radio blared out from the speakers.
Thankful for both the classic 80's soundtrack and the distraction Rory's chatter provided, the 30 minute trip managed to fly by. Upon first glance of the tall wrought iron gates outside of the Gilmore mansion however, she inwardly shuddered.
As if she didn't already have enough on her mind, Luke's harsh tone replayed over and over in her head. That stubborn glint in his eye and unwillingness to listen to her. His prediction on what and who she wanted in her life.
Had he seen Chris that morning in the diner after all?
And what was that thing about if Chris got his shit together? Because from where Lorelai was sitting, in the front seat of Francine Hayden's car, he wasn't heading down the path of getting his shit together anytime soon. And so what if he did? She loved Chris because he was her oldest friend, her confidant during her tumultuous childhood, someone who could, if nothing else, do a pretty good job at distracting her.
They were each other's first girlfriend/boyfriend. And even when they weren't technically still together, they'd drunkenly fool around with each other just for fun a couple of times or two. They ran hot and cold. She'd run to him when the latest guy she was into started to bore her, and he'd run to her at the first sign of trouble in his own relationships.
But it wasn't like he was the only boyfriend she'd ever had. In fact, when she found out she was pregnant with Rory, her and Chris were on one of their many breaks. She'd just been asked out by Topper Rhodes, a Senior with shaggy dark brown hair and piercing hazel eyes, he had the cutest dimples when he smiled. He was the captain of the Crew team and they hadn't managed to quite seal the deal yet before she found out she was pregnant.
He dumped her that same day after school in the front seat of his dark blue Porsche.
Lorelai slid out of the passenger seat and steadied herself on her teetering high heels. She approached the imposing front door with Christopher and Rory flanking either side, their uncharacteristic silence matching her own. She glanced at her daughter, and tried to flash what she hoped was a confident smile, before lifting her fist to rap a playful knock on the door.
Moments later, the door swung open and a maid smiled hesitantly at the trio, ushering them inside. They handed their coats over and walked through the foyer and into the living room to greet her parents.
"Rory!" Emily exclaimed, a wide grin plastered on her face as she enveloped the small girl into a firm hug, releasing her after a few moments to study her face and fix a few strands of her silky brown hair, "This is a darling dress," she said, looking down at the navy blue short sleeved velvet dress her mother had sewn.
"Thank you, Grandma," Rory said in a small voice, straightening the matching navy blue crushed velvet headband on her head that her grandmother had shifted in their embrace.
She peeked around her grandmother's shoulder and spotted her grandfather who had risen in his chair and was smiling politely, "Hi Grandpa," She said, allowing him to fold her into an awkward hug and pat on the head, "Happy Birthday Rory!" His voice boisterously proclaimed.
"Uh, hi Mom, hey Dad," Lorelai said with a small wave as she hovered near the archway with Chris.
"Oh, Lorelai, I didn't see you there," Emily said in a no nonsense tone.
"Christopher! Oh, don't you look just as handsome as ever," She said, her eyes brightening and smile returning as she embraced Chris and led the two of them into the living room.
Richard politely said hello to the two of them, and took drink orders from the beverage cart. He fixed a dirty martini for Lorelai, a scotch neat for Chris, and a Shirley Temple for Rory. Emily sipped her white wine demurely from her perch on one of the living room chairs next to her husband.
Lorelai rolled her eyes through much of the pre-dinner conversation. She busied herself by downing 3 more martinis, sucking on the gin-soaked olives as she sat passively next to Chris on the loveseat. Her stomach was ravenous and despite what she knew would be a disappointing meal, she was more than ready to eat.
"Lorelai you've barely said 2 words since you've been here," Emily said, turning attention towards her daughter, "You've certainly managed to add a lot of 'hmm's," "mhm's," and sigh's however."
"That's not true, I've also laughed very politely I might add, at dad's hilarious insurance joke. And believe I've been doing an aces job at nodding," She paused to practice her nod for the group, "See?"
Rory shifted in her seat uncomfortably at her mother's behavior and politely sipped the rest of her drink, setting it down on a coaster in front of her. Chris chuckled at Lorelai's babbling, but playfully nudged her when he noticed Emily's brow furrow, her small frown continuing to grow with every word out of Lorelai's mouth.
Just as Richard turned to his wife to try and diffuse the situation, the maid walked in and announced that dinner was served. Grateful for the change of scenery and the prospect of finally getting some food in her stomach, Lorelai gulped down the rest of her martini with an "Ahh," and marched into the dining room, Rory on her tails.
"Mom?" Rory whispered harshly, as the rest of the group took their seats at the table. Lorelai looked down at her daughter with a glassy smile, "Hey kid, what's up?"
Rory eyed her grandparents and noticed they were deep in conversation with Chris, laughing wildly at something he was saying, and then turned back towards her mother with a concerned look, "Are you ok?"
Lorelai instantly sobered at her daughter's question, and feeling self conscious, she pushed a curl behind her ear, "I'm fine, Sweets I promise," She looked into her daughter's eyes that mirrored her own and gave her a small smile, "I'm hungry that's all."
Rory chuckled and seemed satisfied by that answer, "Yeah, I guess it's a little late for dinner, we're usually halfway through a Luke's burger by now."
At the mention of Luke's name, Lorelai's smile faltered. She struggled to glue it back on her face, and instead replaced it with a shaky one and a nod.
Throughout dinner Lorelai had downed a few more glasses of wine and was feeling freer than ever. She was laughing right along with her parents at Chris's stories from his short-lived time at Princeton, and matching the flirty smiles he was sending her from across the table with a few winks of her own.
After dessert, her mother had even managed to squawk out a compliment about Lorelai's dress, and mentioned several times how nice of a picture the three of them made. While Lorelai rolled her eyes in response, of course she knew exactly what her mother was not so subtly hinting at, she was simply too drunk and giggly to respond.
In the driveway, Lorelai pulled the passenger door open widely and waved a dramatic goodbye to her parents as Rory settled into the backseat with her giant birthday present from her grandparents tucked next to her. Chris hugged Richard and Emily goodbye and promised to keep in touch, as he was headed back to California the next evening.
He then hopped into the front seat and cranked the stereo at Lorelai's request as the tires screeched out of the circular driveway and down the street on their way back to Stars Hollow.
"You sure it's ok with you if I spend another night?" He said, looking over at Lorelai, who's head was basically out the window, her hair whipping wildly in the wind. Rory had fallen asleep curled up in the backseat.
Lorelai didn't appear to have heard him, her eyes were closed and a wide grin was on her face as she mumbled along the lyrics to Walk Like an Egyptian blasting through the speakers, her arms thrown in the air.
Chris smiled at her, and reached over to grasp her hand that had fallen into her lap tiredly, wrapping his fingers around hers and giving them a squeeze.
She whipped her head over at his touch, her smile still plastered to her face, "Huh?"
He laughed, "You ok if I extend my stay another night? Does the rate still include free breakfast?"
"All the pop-tarts you can eat, baby!" Lorelai exclaimed.
Chris gave her a wide smile of his own, and let go of her hand, turning the volume on the stereo down so they could speak without yelling and waking up Rory.
"Hey," he said, his eyes fixed to the road but tilting his head towards hers.
"Hey back," she replied, turning her body to face his, the stiff leather seat not as unbearable as it was on the drive over.
"You remember when we used to do this, just you and me? You'd sneak over and we'd take out one of Straub's cars, whichever one was in the driveway at the time, and just go out for a drive?"
She nodded happily, "Sure I do, I became a master-breaker-outer you know."
"You definitely were. There wasn't a bedroom window that Lorelai Gilmore couldn't masterfully sneak out of or into if I remember correctly."
She laughed and stated proudly, "One time when I snuck into Fitzgerald Chapman's bedroom, we were making out on his bed and the maid burst in unannounced. He rolled me over onto the floor so she wouldn't catch us. I still managed to scale the ivy outside of his window and make it back to my house in time for one of mom's charity dinners."
"Oh God, I remember when you and Fitz dated for like a month during Freshman year. You were the only girl at St. Judes to go out with 4 different seniors that year. He was such a tool."
She shrugged happily at the memory, "If I remember correctly, you and I used to hook up in between all of those short-lived flings so I guess you made out ok."
He grinned, "Yeah you just couldn't resist me, right?"
Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Oh yeah Chris, I just couldn't."
"Hey," he said in a hurt tone, knocking her thigh lightly with the back his knuckles.
"Chris," She said, drawing out the letters of his name dramatically, "We were young and bored, let's not try to read more into it than it was."
He smiled as he turned into the driveway of Lorelai's house, "We were good together, you have to admit."
She thought he was joking, but when she looked over at his expression she sucked her lips in and tried to stifle her laugh, "Uh, yeah, we had fun. Lots of drunken fun."
Chris turned off the car and they gently woke Rory in the backseat. Lorelai helped her out of the car and Rory sluggishly brushed her teeth and threw on her nightgown, falling back into bed without so much as opening her mouth to speak. Chris had carried her present inside and set it down in her bedroom, before going out onto the front porch and taking a seat on the steps.
By the time Lorelai had finished helping Rory get ready for bed, the alcohol had started to settle in her system and she was no longer drunk, but her body was still abuzz. After kissing Rory's forehead, she noticed Chris was still outside and opened the front door to join him.
"Tired?" She asked, as she took a seat next to him.
He shook his head no, and turned his head to look at Lorelai. Her hair was wild and windswept from hanging out the window on most of the drive home, her black dress that had him practically drooling over her all night was still without a wrinkle, her eyes were bright and only slightly glassy at this point, her skin was luminous and cheeks flushed in a light crimson.
"So, where's the next stop on the world tour?
He smirked, "I've got to go back to California for a while, tie up some loose ends, then I might go over to Hawaii. I've got a few friends who're going to surf through the winter, thought it'd be fun to give it a try."
She chuckled, "Must be nice."
"It doesn't pay the bills, but I'm young and still trying to figure out what I want."
She shook her head and studied him, "10 years and still not a clue, huh?"
He smiled and scooted closer to Lorelai, leaning close to whisper in her ear, "Unless, you know, there's a reason I should stay back this time?"
She closed her eyes. She couldn't believe after all this time, Rory still wasn't that reason. Turning her head to meet his eyes, and opening her mouth to speak, Christopher closed the distance and pressed his lips against hers.
Briefly, fleetingly, his lips moved against hers. She'd kissed Chris dozens if not hundreds of times before, and it was always good. But in this moment, all she could think of is how wrong it felt. She'd swore she had built it up in her head, that there was a reason why she'd always gone back to Chris. That maybe he was a better kisser, a better lover, that there were feelings that just weren't there with the others.
But now, in this moment, all she felt were his lips moving against her unmoving ones. She pushed him off of her and narrowed her eyes, "What are you doing?!"
"Come on, Lor," He said softly, leaning in to try again, but she scooted back a few more inches.
"No, come on Lor! Come on, Chris!" She sneered, pulling herself up to a standing position, "What are you doing?"
"Really? Not even for old time's sake?"
She started to walk down the stairs. She needed to put as much space between them as possible, in fear of what she might say or do next. If there was ever a question in anyone's mind as to who she wanted, it certainly was not Christopher Hayden.
"Enjoy Hawaii, Chris." She said in a no-nonsense tone that was eerily similar to her mother's. Folding her arms across her chest protectively, she furrowed her brows and frowned, "How could you even think I'd want to start anything up with you again? And especially now?"
He shrugged, "It's you and me. It'll always be you and me. You know we're each other's fallbacks, right? Have been since we were kids."
"When we were kids, Chris! Newsflash, we're adults. We have a kid in there," She gestured towards the house, "But you and me, we're done."
He let out a short laugh, "We'll never be done, Lor."
"Done, over, kapish, caput, finito," She listed out, counting each word on her finger, "Need me to continue?"
"You have someone else?" he said, getting frustrated, "Does this have something to do with that diner guy who Rory won't stop talking about?"
She rolled her eyes and threw up her hands in frustration, "This is between you and me Chris."
He narrowed his own eyes at her, "You like him."
"What?"
"Whenever I mention the guy, you flinch. Whenever Rory mentions the guy, you blush. You're Lorelai Gilmore, you don't blush."
"Oh my God," she muttered, "Chris!" She exclaimed, "You knew me, back then. And at one point in time when I really needed you, you were there and we had fun. Lots of fun. I can never regret what we had because you gave me the single greatest gift. Our bright and beautiful daughter. But, that's all we were, Chris. That's all we were meant to be."
Chris hung his head, "You can't just decide when we're through."
"No, I can't. But I'm through, Chris. And you," She said with a sigh, her voice a bit calmer now as she noticed his demeanor, "You have a flight to California tomorrow."
He nodded solemnly, raising his eyes to meet hers.
She hitched a thumb behind her and signaled her exit, "I've got to go do something, you know where the couch is." She all of a sudden knew exactly where she was meant to be, exactly what she needed to say, exactly who she needed to say it to.
"It's almost midnight, Lor, can't it wait?"
She walked backwards through the front lawn and shook her head decisively, "Don't wait up! And I still owe you all the pop-tarts you can eat tomorrow morning!"