Chapter 66

"Mom!"

Four evenings later, Regina dropped the wooden spoon she had just used to stir the stew into the sink with a loud clatter when she heard her son's panicked cry. "What happened?" she wanted to know, barely having hastily entered the living room. Her gaze slid over Henry, who was holding Emma by the shoulders, to her girlfriend, who was sitting bent forward on the sofa with her hands pressed against her temples.

"I don't know, it started all of a sudden," Henry explained, his eyes widening in fear.

Regina tried to fight down her panic and took a seat on Emma's other side. Gently, she placed a hand on her thigh. "Emma, what's wrong?" she wanted to know as calmly as possible.

"I...", Emma started in a shaky voice, but had to stop when a pained gasp left her lips.

"We were just talking a bit. I read to her from the book we're covering in class. Before that she drank something and choked, but...", Henry hastily enumerated, afraid he had done something wrong.

"It's all right, Henry. I don't think there's any particular reason for it," Regina interrupted him soothingly before turning back to Emma. "Emma... Is it just your head that hurts?" she wanted to know.

It took a few seconds before she managed to nod. Of course, she had all the other aches and pains that usually plagued her, but it was her head that she felt was going to burst at any moment. "God... Regina!" she gasped, dropping sideways into her girlfriend's arms.

"I..." Desperately, Regina held her tight; she had no idea what to do. She had been surprised that Emma had been doing so relatively well that day after her chemo and radiation. She had only slept a few hours and then found the strength to sit with Henry. However, Regina could not for the life of her imagine that this was the reason for her current condition. "I'll lay you down," she finally decided, not knowing if it was the right thing to do or if it would only make her headache worse.

Without further prompting, Henry immediately jumped up to make room and took Emma's legs while Regina carefully lowered her girlfriend's upper body onto the sofa.

Tears ran from the corners of Emma's eyes, tracing wet trails across her temples before disappearing into the pillow beneath her head.

"Stay with her, I'll be right back," Regina turned to Henry when she saw that the pain at least didn't seem to be worsening as she lay down.

Upset, Henry looked after his mother for a moment before sitting close to Emma and stroking her trembling fingers. "Mom's going to help you," he whispered. "Hang in there, okay?" He didn't know why he said that; it was probably more to reassure himself than Emma, but it seemed to help.

Weakly, Emma closed her fingers around her son's and squeezed them gently. "I know. Thank you," she murmured, her lips forcing a brief smile on her face, which was otherwise contorted with pain.

Regina had really barely been gone three minutes when she knelt beside the armrest of the sofa, completely out of breath, so that she was behind Emma. "There's still some of Zelena's tincture left," she explained before opening the vial, whereupon a pervasive smell of peppermint filled the room. Nervously, she shook a few drops onto her fingers before bending over Emma from behind and massaging the tincture into her temples.

Emma was still holding Henry's hand when she felt her girlfriend's fingers on her head, performing the massage with appropriate pressure, but at the same time infinitely gentle.

"Is it working?" Henry wanted to know after a while, staring at Emma with bated breath.

The young woman had quieted down, her eyes were closed and she did not answer his question.

"I think so," Regina therefore quietly returned in her place. She wasn't sure if Emma had fallen asleep or was just dozing off, enjoying the relief from the pain. Gently, she pressed a kiss to her head and lowered her hands.

"Thank you," Emma mumbled just barely understandable without moving or opening her eyes.

Relieved, Regina got up from the floor and stretched her back. Her posture had been uncomfortable, causing her knees to ache and her feet to tingle, no longer fully perfused, but at least it had been worth it. When she saw that Henry was still sitting frozen next to Emma, clutching her hand, she took him lovingly by the shoulders and nodded toward the door.

He found it hard to part from Emma, but after a while he did get up and went with Regina to the kitchen. "Was that my fault?" he wanted to know as soon as they were among themselves. "I really only read to her," he affirmed again, close to tears.

"Henry, my darling, of course it wasn't your fault," Regina interrupted him immediately, pulling him into a tight hug. "Emma has had headaches of this severity very often, but it's usually been at night. Whether it's her illness or the therapies that are to blame, I don't think anyone can really say, but it's definitely not you."

Silently, Henry snuggled up to his mother, staring over her shoulder into space. "I felt like she was better today," he whispered. "I could almost forget how sick she was when we were talking."

Regina gritted her teeth tightly and stroked his back. "I know, I feel that way too sometimes," she admitted. "Come on, we should get something to eat." She felt anything but like eating and her son probably wouldn't feel much different, but unfortunately she knew from experience that Emma would probably only sleep for a while before she had the next attack of pain and she couldn't let Henry go to bed without something in his stomach.

Reluctantly and silently, the two sat across from each other a short while later, stoically spooning the stew into themselves without tasting much. Henry had just finished eating while Regina's plate was covered with still a little soup when they heard Emma's pained moan. Without exchanging a word, they both shot up from their chairs and hurried into the living room.

"I'm sorry," Emma whimpered as she saw the frightened, horrified faces of her loved ones.

"No, Emma, don't be," Regina assured her and sat down on the couch, where she pulled Emma's upper body into her lap and rested her head in the crook of her arm as if trying to soothe a child. "Shh, take it easy," she whispered as Emma writhed in pain in her arms, stroking her head. "Henry... can you please give me my phone?" she then asked in a still calm voice, even though she was completely agitated inside.

Visibly glad that he could do something, Henry reached for the cell phone lying on the coffee table and handed it to his mother.

With a curt nod, she thanked him and moments later dialed Dr. Heart's number, which was already in her speed dial, before clasping the phone between her ear and shoulder so she could hold Emma with both hands again. "Yes, this is Regina," she answered as soon as the doctor picked up. "I'm sorry to bother you. It's about Emma, she has a crushing headache and I was hoping you could give me some more advice before night falls and I don't know how to help myself anymore at all," she said quickly, returning Emma's gaze, which she had fixed firmly on her.

Her lips were pale and trembling, and as another wave of pain nearly blinded her, she felt new tears well up in her eyes, blurring Regina's sight.

"No, I don't think so," Regina replied at that moment, glancing at her girlfriend. "Probably yes." She nodded slightly to herself and continued stroking Emma's head. "Her regular painkillers and a temple massage with pain-relieving tincture."

Henry sat on the edge of the chair across from the two of them, eyeing Regina expectantly as the side of the conversation he could follow was less than informative.

A somewhat lengthy pause ensued, during which Regina listened intently to her interlocutor, nodding only slightly now and then, before ending the call with, "All right, thank you! Goodbye."

"Who were you talking to?" Henry immediately wanted to know.

"Dr. Heart," Regina replied, stroking the tears from Emma's cheeks. "She said that we can try an additional tylenol, which may sound ridiculous, of course, but experience shows that they help better than the opiates for headaches from the chemo," she explained. "Would that be okay with you?" she then asked, turning to Emma.

The latter nodded slowly; she didn't care at all what they put in her or did to her, as long as this inhuman pain stopped.

As soon as Henry saw her nod, he jumped up and opened the drawer with the medicines. Completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of prescription bottles, he looked back at his mother.

"One of the orange ones," Regina said in response, before lowering her eyes back to Emma, who already seemed to be getting a little calmer. "Feeling a little better?" she wanted to know quietly.

Cautiously, she nodded and held Regina's gaze. While their presence couldn't magically take away her pain, the fact that she was no longer alone was enough to ease it slightly. "Did she... say anything more?" she wanted to know slowly. Speaking was exhausting and immediately she squinted her eyes tightly.

"She said to come to the clinic if it doesn't get better. I said that probably won't be necessary," she explained honestly, again massaging her temples lightly. "If it does, though, please tell me."

Emma opened her eyes a crack again and nodded. "Thank you," she whispered, barely audible.

"I think I've got it," Henry said at that moment, holding out one of the pill bottles to Regina.

The latter read the label and nodded. "Yes, that's right. Get one out, please, and pass us the water cup, will you?"

Henry did just that and a little later Emma had swallowed the pill and leaned back into Regina's arms.

She tried to focus only on Regina, who continued to gently massage her, and Henry, who had settled at her feet and was stroking her legs. Even though the pain was still present, she had to somehow block it out, which she actually succeeded in doing after a while, when the effects of the pill also seemed to kick in.

When Emma awoke the next morning, it was still dark outside. She could dimly remember waking up a few more times during the night, but always falling back asleep. When she looked down, she saw that her son was still sitting at her feet, asleep, but had curled up and slipped under her blanket with her. Regina, too, was still sitting where she had settled in the evening, her arms wrapped around Emma's torso. Her head, however, had sunk back and was resting sideways on the back of the sofa. As much as Emma enjoyed the warmth of her body against hers, and as secure as she felt in her arms, she found it awful that her girlfriend had spent the entire night in this uncomfortable seated position, and that she had also lain on her legs. Although she was reluctant to wake her, she waited just a few more minutes before gently stroking her arm. She didn't want her to stay in that position any longer than absolutely necessary, and besides, she really needed to get to the bathroom and knew she wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer. "Regina," she whispered and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

Regina stirred slightly and gave a soft moan before widening her eyes and being wide awake in the very next moment. "What's wrong?" she wanted to know, and it was clear from her face that she was expecting the worst.

"I'm fine," Emma therefore quickly assured her, squeezing her hand tenderly. "Thank you for sticking around. Both of you," she continued softly, feeling a lump begin to form in her throat out of shame. "I didn't mean to wake you, it's just... I have to go to the bathroom, and besides, I want you to be comfortable."

"Thank God you're feeling better," Regina whispered, taking a deep breath as her eyes fell on her still sleeping son. After Emma had finally fallen asleep, she had tried to send Henry to bed, but he had insisted on staying in the living room as well so that he could help her if Emma became acutely worse. Carefully, she sat Emma up and then stretched herself, whereupon she screwed up her face and put a hand to the back of her neck.

Emma gave her a sad look before pulling her blanket fully over Henry and struggling to hold back her tears.

It took a few minutes until Regina had stretched enough to even stand upright. She tiredly ran her hands over her eyes and then pulled Emma's wheelchair up to the sofa. "Can you make it?" she wanted to know quietly.

"If not, it's about to get wet here," Emma tried to joke, but her tone was the complete opposite of joking. Better than she would have expected herself, she managed to sit down in the wheelchair. "Your back pains are getting worse," she said quietly as Regina pushed her into the guest bathroom.

"No, they're not," Regina countered. "I've been sitting all night, so it's only logical that I'm a little tense now. It will be better soon," she promised her, and then helped her using the toilet.

Emma, however, just stared ahead and shook her head. "When Lisa comes this afternoon, she will massage you, not me," she decided.

"Emma... that's sweet, but it's your physio, not mine," she indicated, gently stroking her back as she sat back in her wheelchair. "The headaches you had were definitely partly from tension. You need this treatment, okay?"

Silently, Emma lowered her eyes and tightened her jaw.

"I can make my own appointments if you'd like," Regina suggested when she saw Emma's reaction. She leaned against the edge of the sink and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Her clothes were all wrinkled from the night on the couch and her makeup, which she hadn't been able to remove, was partially smeared.

"I definitely want you to," Emma confirmed, taking her hand. "I want you to be okay, Regina. I love you."

"And I love you," Regina replied in a whisper. It didn't take Emma's arm reaching out to her at all; she would have leaned in and kissed her tenderly just the same. Her lips still tasted of salt from all the tears she had shed the night before, and Regina wished for Emma's sake more good days for her.

Emma was the first to break the kiss and put her hand to Regina's cheek while looking deep into her eyes. "Now please go to bed and sleep some more. I'm going to be okay and I feel fine."

"I can't sleep now," Regina responded, however, tilting her head slightly. "I could make apple pancakes for breakfast," she suggested instead.

Sighing, Emma rolled her eyes. "You're not supposed to be working again, you're supposed to be relaxing a little more," she countered.

"You know that cooking relaxes me," she pointed out. "But I might be persuaded to watch the sunrise from the garden bench with you," she then smirked.

Emma had to think about that for a moment. She missed the fresh air and usually it did her good when she had a headache. On the other hand, there was always the danger that she would catch a cold. However, since Regina had suggested it herself and she couldn't think of anything nicer at that moment than doing such a normal thing with her girlfriend, she nodded. "I would like that."

Smiling softly, Regina gave her another quick kiss and then quietly, so as not to wake Henry, went upstairs, from where she got thick clothes for herself and Emma. It took a while for both of them to finish dressing, especially since Regina wrapped her girlfriend in several layers of sweaters and pants at once, and then also put a blanket over her knees, but finally they had it done and left the house through the back door.

Emma immediately took a deep breath of the pleasantly clear air and closed her eyes with pleasure. It was clear that spring had replaced winter, and if her body wasn't a large construction site, her thin leather jacket and a pair of sneakers would have been perfectly adequate. When Regina parked her wheelchair close to the wall of the house next to the garden bench to protect it from the wind and then walked to her flower beds, which were still buried under the brushwood branches, Emma followed her with her eyes and smiled. She was so pretty as she bent down in her dark fitted jacket and very carefully, so as not to break off any buds, removed the branches, always tucking her hair back behind her ears, which shone in the first rays of the sun.

"Are you staring at my butt, Miss Swan?" she asked jokingly after a while, when she saw Emma's look of thoughtfulness and the smile that seemed to be glued to her face. With the brushwood piled in a heap and the early bloomers now able to make their way up, she returned to Emma and settled down on the bench, as close to her as she could get with the two armrests between them.

Emma shrugged and grinned mischievously at her. "Who knows how much longer I'll be afforded such views. I'll have to take advantage of every opportunity," she finally replied, snuggling up to her girlfriend.

Sighing, Regina laid her head on Emma's shoulder and held her hand tightly. As beautiful as it was to see the sun slowly creeping further and further over the rooftops of the town, making them glow, she couldn't enjoy the sight as much as she used to. With every sunrise, every smile from Emma, every happy moment they shared, she involuntarily wondered if it might be the last time. When she could no longer hold back a soft sniffle, she squeezed Emma's hand just a little tighter.

"Regina?" Emma whispered softly, lifting her head slightly to look at her. Noticing the tears running silently down her cheeks, she took a deep breath and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Actually, it's the sunsets that make a lot of people sad," she then said quietly, burying her hand in Regina's hair so she could pull her head to her chest, which she willingly allowed. "Even if I'm not around anymore... you're not alone anymore, Regina. You have Henry. You have Zelena and Robin. And my parents are there for you too, whether you like it or not." She couldn't quite suppress a short laugh as she imagined Snow and David trying to persuade Regina to attend all the family festivities. "And when the time is right, you'll fall in love all over again."

"Be glad you're sick, or I'd slap you right now," Regina retorted tonelessly.

Sighing, Emma continued to stroke her hair and stare at the first buds on the trees all around. "I know this isn't a very good time to talk about this... But I don't want you to stay alone."

Snorting, Regina lifted her head and looked her in the eye. "A minute ago, you said I wasn't alone."

"You know how I mean it," Emma returned with a sad look. "You need someone to give you what you deserve. And you deserve the world. I know what I put you and Henry through last night. Again. That knowledge hurts more than a headache ever could. I don't want to go on like this. Wanting to come home was stupid and selfish. If I had just stayed in the hospital like Heart wanted me to, I would have spared you all this."

"What would you have spared us? Us being able to spend time with you? Being a family? Please stop acting like you're nothing but an imposition. Does this seem like a burden?" She made an expansive hand gesture that included the garden. "How many sunrises do you think we'd watch together if you were in the hospital?"

"That's not the point..."

"Yes, it is, that's exactly the point, Emma! We realize what your disease entails, and of course it hurts terribly to see you suffer and not really be able to help you, but that's the way it is when you love someone." She looked her firmly in the eyes before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "All these moments, the good ones and the bad ones too, are ours and no one can take them away. And I don't care how bad some days are, because all of that is time I get to spend with you. You're not getting rid of me, Emma Swan. I'm going to stay by your side until your last damn breath, and you're not going to take it until we're old and gray and sitting on this bench here having watched hundreds of sunrises, is that clear?"

Instead of an answer, Emma merely gave her a loving smile. She couldn't say yes; not until she knew if her body was strong enough.