On Friday April 15 early morning, Mitsuha woke up not feeling quite right. As soon as she opened her eyes, she felt a slight headache: an ungrateful reminder of the bottle of sake they had shared with Taki during dinner the night before.
Moreover, despite having slept through the night, she still felt tired. It was not only because of the accumulated fatigue from the long journey, activities and the previous night's walk, but because her night's sleep had been of lousy quality; her grandmother's call had created a great uneasiness before she went to sleep, and just after waking up, the worry about her grandmother's call came back to occupy her consciousness.
The girl sat on her bed, holding her temples with her hands, trying to massage them to relieve the discomfort. After a minute she was relatively successful. She checked her cell phone, and saw that she was getting late for work. However, she couldn't resist checking the messaging app first.
Taki had not left any new messages after their nightly farewell before going to sleep. He still appeared disconnected. She guessed that Taki must still be sleeping, and although she was tempted to listen to him or write something to him, she decided to let him sleep a little longer.
She then checked Yotsuha's contact, and confirmed that her sister was still offline from the night before. The uneasiness increased a little more. Unpleasant questions began to bombard her head again Why had her sister responded to her so aggressively, talking about "her new boyfriend" as if Yotsuha didn't already know Taki? Her sister knew perfectly well who he was, and yet why was she treating him so contemptuously?
Sighing unable to understand what was going on in her younger sister's head, she had no choice but to hurry. After a quick shower and an impromptu breakfast, Mitsuha made her way as she did every morning to her office. But on the way she kept ruminating on the contents of her grandmother's call, and her sister's strange response.
When she arrived in front of her work building, Mitsuha walked past the bench where she had met Taki the previous afternoon. The scene popped into her head at once, and it made her almost stagger and stop in her tracks. She stared at the building, and a new concern assailed her. Would Jessica have kept her word to keep her mouth shut about the events between her and Taki? A lump formed in her throat.
After hesitating and struggling with herself to calm down, she set off again until she had completed the last few meters to enter the building. The guards looked at her and greeted her respectfully, without any hint of abnormality. She returned the greeting politely, as she did every day. She swiped her card through the access control and made her way to the elevator without any hiccups.
The normality of her entrance made her feel calmer. Everything must be all right, she thought. Jessica probably hadn't said anything else to anyone, and one proof of that was that Noriko hadn't called her urgently last night or today... as she had on Friday of the previous week.
But her peace of mind was short-lived.
Mitsuha stepped off the elevator and made her way to her workspace. When she was just a few meters away from her cubicle, she saw three of her department mates chatting animatedly in one of the cubicles near hers. They were looking at a cell phone with some video, watching the small screen while commenting and laughing. As Mitsuha was already very close, she greeted them with a conventional "good morning".
The women turned to her in surprise and looked at her with a guilty look on their faces, as if they had been caught in the act of mischief. The eldest of them, Sachiko Murakami returned a broad smile of complicity and greeted her back.
"Miyamizu-san! Good morning, and I'm glad you're finally here!"
"Something wrong, Murakami-san," asked Mitsuha in surprise.
"That's something you could tell us," Sachiko said, looking at her other two companions. "Because it seems there are certain things you haven't told us, right, girls?"
The other two women laughed in complicity, nodding.
Mitsuha stood in the middle of the hallway staring at her companions, her mind blank.
"I... I don't know what you mean," said Mitsuha trying to get out of it.
"Well, I mean this," said Sachiko, motioning with her hand for Mitsuha to come closer and look at the phone held by another colleague. "Do you want to see? Aiko-san, play it from the beginning, please."
Aiko Harada, the cubicle owner, set her cell phone on her desk so that the four of them could see it. She waited for Mitsuha to come to them and then started playing the video.
Mitsuha was shocked to see that it was a video from a security camera. The silent image showed three people: Taki, Jessica and Kana, talking outside the building. Their faces and gestures were clearly distinguishable.
"W-W-Where did you get that?" asked Mitsuha in alarm.
"One of the guards was a classmate of mine in high school," Sachiko replied, winking at her.
Mitsuha saw herself appear in the video until she was in front of Taki, and a few seconds later she watched herself grabbing the boy's face to give him a sizzling kiss. Seeing that under the attention of her workmates who were looking back at her made her feel her face burning and she only wanted to disappear.
Aiko paused the video and the three began to question her with barely contained enthusiasm.
"Who is that boy?"
"Have you known him for a long time?"
"Why haven't you introduced him to us?" asked the three women in a rushed manner.
Mitsuha understood that the genie was already out of the bottle, and there was little and nothing to hide.
"He... he is my boyfriend. We've been dating recently."
"Wow, wow... And how passionate you guys are!" said Aiko.
"Yes, that was like a movie kiss! I didn't know you were so brave and determined, Miyamizu-san!" said the third companion, gently patting Mitsuha's back.
"I was coming out of the building yesterday and I saw them talking," said Sachiko. "And suddenly you grabbed that boy... and I thought 'What?... but that wasn't Miyamizu-san!', but you left so fast that I had to ask Noriyuki-san what was going on... Congratulations, Miyamizu-san, that's a real ballsy thing to do!"
The girls continued to praise Mitsuha's bravery, and she had no choice but to accept such a deal, albeit reluctantly. Mitsuha knew that this was one of the boldest things she had ever done in public, and now she was paying the price.
"Good morning girls. Is there something wrong with an account, Sachiko?" suddenly said a woman's voice, confident and powerful, approaching from behind the group.
The four women turned in unison and found themselves face to face with Noriko Morita, the finance director, approaching them with a quizzical look on her face.
Noriko was dressed in a dark western suit with vertical stripes, a dress jacket, ankle-length pants, elegant high heels and an executive briefcase in her hand. The director's presence, bearing and gait made her look imposing.
"Good morning, Noriko-san," replied Sachiko. "Everything is fine, we just talked to Miyamizu-san..."
But Sachiko became enraptured, not knowing how to continue.
"About what?" pressed Noriko.
Sachiko decided that lying wasn't going to help, so she blurted out the truth as casually as she could.
"Well, we were talking about... the surprising developments in Miyamizu-san's love life."
"And is there something wrong with that, Miyamizu-san?" asked Noriko innocently.
Mitsuha felt like a little girl being scolded. Unwilling to look at Noriko, she replied almost mumbling.
"Well, the girls found out about me and Taki."
Noriko looked at Mitsuha with a smile on her face and shaking her head as if to say 'you have a lot to learn'.
"So, they 'found out'? If I were you, I would have told them myself because that's not something you need to keep secret. Tachibana-san is a great man, you don't need to hide it."
"Do you already know it, boss? Do you know him?" Sachiko asked admiringly.
Noriko put the briefcase down, crossed her arms and looked straight into Sachiko's eyes.
"My job is to know everything that goes on in the finance department, and especially everything that might affect my trusted team."
Sachiko could sense dark double-readings in Noriko's statement, so she lowered her eyes and kept quiet without daring to say anything else.
"So... are there any other work topics you need to discuss?" Noriko asked, looking at all of them.
Mitsuha barely wanted to move a muscle. The other three shook their heads.
"Then get back to business, I don't want you to fall behind on your assignments. Now!"
The four women broke ranks without another word. Noriko stood, arms folded, watching with feline attention the movement of all of them until each one reached her post. Only then did she pick up her briefcase and retrace her steps back to her office, savoring the pleasure of imposing order in her fiefdom.
Mitsuha turned on her monitor and settled into her seat. After breathing a sigh of relief that she was out of such a jam, she began to check her email to catch up. As she loaded the application, a flicker on the icon for the company's internal messaging system told her that there were messages waiting to be read. She checked and the most recent one on the list was from Noriko, sent just seconds before:
"You have my full support in your relationship with Taki-san, but try to be more discreet. Remember that I have direct contacts with building security."
§
Taki awoke with difficulty that morning. As never before, he felt he had slept in later than usual. The mid-morning brightness bothered him, so he stretched restlessly as he covered his eyes with his forearm. Then he sat on the edge of the bed, and his mouth felt unexpectedly dry. A glance at his bedside table brought to mind the image of Mitsuha on the picture frame. Memories of the previous night came into his head, including a large bottle of sake.
First, he went to the bathroom to freshen up, and then to the kitchen for some cool water. He saw that his father, who had long since left for work, had left a breakfast prepared for him on the table along with a note. After drinking two glasses of water, he approached the table and read it.
"You got in late last night. I left you breakfast, don't leave without eating something."
Taki was glad that his father was so understanding and kind. He looked to the kitchen wall clock and nearly had a heart attack when he saw that it was already past 10:30. He went to get his phone from his bedroom, returned to the dining room, and sat down to eat breakfast while checking the messages on his phone.
He first sent a message to his father, thanking him for breakfast. As he sipped his miso soup, he saw that Mitsuha had not said anything to him. He was about to write to her when a message from an unknown unread number caught his attention. He opened the message and read it quizzically.
"Urgent. Tachibana-san, contact us as soon as possible."
Urgent? Not recognizing the number, he hesitated whether or not to respond to that message, but in the end decided to get out of doubt and dialed the number to initiate a direct voice call.
Within seconds a somewhat familiar voice sounded on the other end of the line.
"Hello? Tachibana-san?"
"Yes, it's me."
"Thank you for calling me!"
"Eto... And you are...?"
"Oh, I'm sorry for not making it clear. I'm Gondō Ozamu. We met at my apartment yesterday. I guess you remember me, right?"
"Ah, Gondō-san!" exclaimed Taki relieved. "I'm sorry, I didn't have your number on record. Well, did you need to talk to me?"
"Of course. I'm sorry to have to communicate like this, so suddenly. But we are on the clock. Did you review the proposal?"
"Eh... the... proposal?"
"Yes, our proposal. I sent it to your personal e-mail this morning. Look, before we talk further, do you have time to review it right now?"
"I haven't really checked my mail yet, but of course I will check it."
"Perfect. I'll call you back in ten minutes."
"In ten...? Okay, we'll talk then."
Taki cut the call and stared at the phone in puzzlement. He opened his email and found a message from "Ouzumi Construction", with the title "Job Proposal".
He felt his heart stop. Almost trembling, he opened the message, and began to read the formal greeting, telling him that they were interested in hiring him, and asked to please review the attached file.
The formal document contained the details of a three-month temporary contract, terms and conditions, and... salary of...
Taki's jaw dropped when he saw the figure. It was by far more than he expected from a small company like he knew Ouzumi Construction was, and far better than his own expectations for his first job.
He put the phone down on the table, and stared around the house. With no one to talk to, he felt a sudden conflict between jumping up and down and screaming with happiness or panicking at the suddenness of the news. The opportunity he had been waiting for was now right under his nose.
At the end, he looked down at his half-eaten breakfast, and felt he could not continue at that instant. He stopped to get another glass of water, which he drained in a couple of gulps, then returned to the table and sat down to carefully reread the contents of the message and the attached document, over and over again, as if fearing he was dreaming it all.
By the fourth reading Taki was convinced that this was for real, that it wasn't a dream, and... his phone started ringing.
The number this time was no longer unfamiliar to him. It was Ozamu Gondō calling him back.
"Gondō-san?" said Taki, not knowing if his voice sounded too nervous.
"Yes, it's me, Tachibana-san. Well, did you read the proposal?"
"I just did."
"So, are you interested?"
"Yes! I am interested. Of course I'm interested."
"Perfect. That was just what I needed to hear. But then, we need to talk about the immediate future. Are you available to start working today, right away?"
"Right now?"
"Not now in the morning. But today afternoon I am traveling to Nagoya. We have a meeting first thing tomorrow morning to discuss details of the public tender, and we have an exclusive visit to the parks to be intervened. And it is critical to have you there, Tachibana-san. We really need you to be there. Travel and accommodation expenses are paid by the construction company. So, are we counting on you from now on?"
Taki's mouth felt drier than ever. For a couple of seconds that seemed eternal in his mind, his brain tried to think of all the scenarios, possibilities and possible future scenarios. All his hopes of months of looking for a job to work as an architect finally boiled down to a single answer that he had to give in the next second.
"Tachibana-san? Are you still there?" was heard on the other end of the line.
"Yes... yes, I'm still here."
"So...?"
"I accept the offer, and count me in from today."
"Excellent! Welcome aboard, Tachibana-san! Please start packing right now your luggage for a trip of about 4 days. The secretary will contact you to finish the rest of the paperwork, reservations and some other details for the trip. We will see you in the afternoon at the meeting point at the station..."
§
Yotsuha had been enduring the tedious math class with stoicism. Sitting at the back of the room, in a desk by the window, she slyly watched the cherry trees watering their petals in the courtyard.
This morning her grandmother had woken up earlier than ever and practically pushed her to attend school. She reluctantly got dressed and arrived to class for the second day that week. The day before she had barely endured the questioning of some of her classmates and friends who asked what had happened to her. She could not answer them. Today she just wanted to go unnoticed, to comply with her attendance without attracting anyone's attention.
While the teacher kept explaining on the blackboard a convoluted equation of probabilities, Yotsuha could not stop her mind from wandering away from that room. What was she doing there? Did she have to attend an institute, suffer and strive for... something that might not be real? Those questions had been tormenting her for days, since the day Mitsuha had revealed to her that they were alive, but living in an alternate world, different from a reality where all of them had died nine years ago...
Unable to let those ideas leave her head, Yotsuha let out a loud sigh. Suddenly she felt a strange silence around her, and turning her head she saw how everyone in the room, including the teacher, had stared at her.
"I hope I'm not boring you too much, Miss Miyamizu," said the teacher in a somewhat mocking tone. "As I was explaining, the probability distribution to use depends on the problem you want to model. For a problem that is restricted to a specific time interval, which distribution should we use, Miyamizu-san?"
Yotsuha went blank. She hadn't been paying attention and had no idea what the teacher was talking about.
"I... well..." she felt her face begin to redden. "I... I don't know."
The teacher shook her head in exasperation.
"Miyamizu-san, please go to the teacher's lounge after school. I need to talk to you."
A clatter of murmurs erupted in the room, and a couple of seconds later the recess bell began to ring.
Yotsuha could stand it no longer. She jumped up from her seat and ran out of the room before the astonished eyes of the teacher and her classmates.
The murmurs grew louder. The teacher took a few steps and approached a reddish-haired girl in the second row of desks.
"You are close to Miyamizu-san, aren't you?" she asked reservedly, bringing her face close to the girl's. "Do you know what's wrong with her?"
"I don't know. I haven't been able to talk to her. She's been avoiding me. Actually, I think she's been avoiding all of us," the student replied.
"I see. Thank you, Michiko-san."
The teacher stood up, and raised her voice to the rest of the students.
"Everyone, remember to solve pages 35 and 36 from the textbook for the next class. You are dismissed."
§
The afternoon was advancing rapidly. Taki stopped among the people walking hurriedly around him at Tokyo train station and had to move to the side to avoid being run over by the crowd of people moving through the place.
He looked at the time on his phone. It was 4:18 in the afternoon. He still had a few minutes before he had to meet the people from the construction company at four thirty, near the ticket office of the bullet train that would take them to Nagoya.
He set down the sports bag in which he carried his things, and carefully folded the suit that was inside a travel cover, leaving it on top of the bag. He leaned against the wall and began to check his messages.
"I'm already at Tokyo station. I will meet Gondō-san soon," he wrote to Mitsuha on the messaging app.
There was no immediate response.
Taki looked at the messages again. The last one from Mitsuha had been at about two o'clock in the afternoon, where she wished him luck on his trip. After that, he had not heard from her again.
But it wasn't just that silence that worried him the most. In the morning he had written her after the call with the job offer: «I have news to tell you!». A while passed where he assumed Mitsuha would be busy and didn't want to interrupt her, but when she wrote him with an emoji of a surprised face and a terse «Me too!»; Taki couldn't take it anymore and simply called her, and animatedly told her about the call he had received, the generous offer from the company and that he finally had a job. Mitsuha almost screamed with excitement on the other end of the line. But when Taki told her that he was due to leave for a trip that same day, the silence that followed chilled him. He thought the call had been cut off, but when Mitsuha finally spoke back to him, the woman's voice had changed. She still sounded happy for him, but it was as if winter had frozen her. Taki asked her if she was okay, and she replied with a terse «Yes, everything is fine.» And when he wanted to know what was the news she wanted to tell him, after another interminable silence, Mitsuha's answer was curt: «It's nothing important, don't worry. Go arrange things for your trip»; Taki felt as if a stake had been driven into his chest.
Something was not right. But Taki couldn't figure out what it was.
The boy looked at the time on his cell phone again. It was only a few minutes before the meeting time. Then he thought that from that moment on they would be a few hours away from Mitsuha...
Distance.
Suddenly, the phrase Mitsuha had said to him the night before hit his consciousness:
«I don't want you to walk away from me.»
And, that was just what he was doing at that instant.
The sudden revelation made Taki feel dizzy. No, that couldn't be the whole story. She knew this was important to him, but she also knew he was coming back to her. She had to know. So, what was it then? Was she afraid of something?
Taki opened the messaging app again, and typed a message to Mitsuha almost without thinking.
«No matter what happens, no matter how far away we are, I'm not going to let you go. I'm coming back to you, whatever it takes.»
After pressing the send button, Taki felt as if his resolve to be with her had strengthened. But the uneasiness that something else was going on that he did not yet know did not leave him.
Taki exhaled loudly, and closed his eyes trying to focus on the here and now. He had a career path to follow. One he had pursued for years. He would walk it with her, but he had to take that step. The dice were already rolled.
He opened his eyes, grabbed his luggage, and headed off to meet his new coworkers.
§
"Ah, I needed to sit down and now I just want to order some good coffee," said Sayaka sitting heavily in the chair and stretching her back against the backrest.
"I need one urgently too," replied Mitsuha, setting a bulky package down beside the chair, and exhaling a heavy sigh as he finished settling in.
The two girls settled at a table in the same café shop they had visited the previous Saturday, which was a couple of blocks from the bridal dress store. The night was cool, so they had chosen a table inside the already fully illuminated premises while outside Friday night was already beginning to advance.
"But tell me it wasn't worth it. A certain person won't believe their eyes when they see you in that blue dress," said Sayaka, winking at her friend and pointing to the package next to the chair.
Mitsuha smiled imagining Taki's surprised face. And then she imagined him...
"I also want to see him in a suit again."
"Again? But... ah, you mean like, when he was a waiter"
"Yes. I mean, I've never seen him... well, I haven't seen him myself," said Mitsuha, shrugging her shoulders. "I just know I want to see him soon. And I bet Tesshi will be gobsmacked too when he sees you in your dress, Saya-chin. I didn't think it would change that much, but with those last adjustments, you really look even more beautiful."
Sayaka blushed at her friend's compliment.
"It'll be worth it if Tesshi notices. Because if he doesn't, I swear I'll kick his ass."
"Do you think he won't do it?"
"Well, he's always on cloud nine for that sort of thing. And now it seems that more..."
The waitress arrived at the table and took their order. The two girls couldn't help but order their cakes. They both looked at each other in complicity as they did so, and then commented nothing.
"So, has Tesshi been very disconnected about the clothes for the ceremony?" asked Mitsuha, trying to understand what her friend had said earlier.
"He never bothered much with it. In fact, when I told him I had decided on the Shinto dress, he didn't even question it. If I had told him we were getting married dressed as cavemen I bet he wouldn't have said anything either."
Mitsuha laughed at Sayaka's strange idea.
"But he will want to see you as beautiful as this. I know him."
"I know, though..." Sayaka's face darkened, and she looked down. "This week, I've seen him a little strange. In fact, he questioned whether we should get married..."
"What, are you kidding me?!" Mitsuha felt her jaw drop so much that she had to adjust herself in her chair to help herself react. "But... but that's what you always wanted!"
Sayaka looked her friend in the eyes and opened her mouth, but the words didn't come out. She bit her lip.
"Saya-chin, is something wrong with you two?" asked Mitsuha worriedly.
"It's just that..."
Sayaka rushed over to the coffee table, and took Mitsuha's hands in hers, pulling her. Her eyes were suddenly teary.
"I... I'm a little clumsy sometimes, and I know I'm a simpleton. I know I'm not the smartest, but... you... you... you guys... what you told us over the weekend..."
"You mean about... Taki and me?"
"All of it! I swear I still can't understand it all, but... but Tesshi, he's been quiet this week, thoughtful. And yesterday morning he asked me, 'Is it really okay for us to get married? Are we really living this?'…".
Mitsuha's mind went blank for several seconds, trying to understand the ideas that Tesshi. Suddenly, a strange realization came to her.
"Does Tesshi... think that now, all this... isn't it real?"
Sayaka looked her friend in the eyes, and made a small nod of her head. Her hands squeezed Mitsuha's tighter.
"And... is it? You told us that... that we... that we were dead. And now we are alive, but... but is this reality... real? I hadn't thought about it, and now... I feel... ah, Tesshi now conveyed his concern to me... and I don't feel quite right either. Tell me, Mitsuha, are we going to be okay? All this that we are going through is... Is it really... real?"
Mitsuha looked down and did not know what to answer. She didn't have an answer. In fact, all that week she had been so focused on being with Taki, on getting to know him again, and she felt so in the clouds near him, that those kinds of questionings had not even crossed her mind.
Until now.
Suddenly, Mitsuha felt guilty for being so selfish thinking only of her own world, not understanding what the revelation had meant to her friends.
"I... I really don't know. I can't say for sure. But... I feel, that this, that this life, has to be real."
"Do you really think so?"
"It has to be!" Mitsuha exclaimed, feeling like she was speaking through a lump in her throat. "If not, why else would Musubi bother to save us, to have Taki travel all over the universe to help us? It has to be for a good reason! And we've been living for so many years... This can't just be a dream, no, it has to be real, it has to be!"
Now Mitsuha squeezed Sayaka's hands.
"Besides... I know that what I feel for Taki is real. Even if everything around us is a fantasy, what I feel for him is the most real thing I've ever felt. Is what you feel for Tesshi a fantasy?"
Sayaka shook her head negatively, as a few tears streamed down her face.
"I've loved that idiot forever. And I know I love him, I really love him."
"Then, even if this is a dream, I will continue to fight for Taki. And you fight for your love for Tesshi. It's the most real thing we can feel, isn't it?" said Mitsuha, reassuring her friend.
"That's true... we have to fight for the ones we love," said Sayaka, letting go of Mitsuha's hand and trying to wipe her face.
A troubled waitress carrying a tray with coffee cups and pastries stopped a few feet from the table, seeing the two girls almost in tears.
"Excuse me, are you alright? Can I get you a glass of water?" she asked, suddenly worried.
The two friends turned in surprise to the young woman, and laughed somewhat embarrassed by the scene.
"Hey, no, it's okay, it's all right, I think," said Mitsuha, laughing a little embarrassed as she also tried to wipe her face. My friend is getting married soon and I think we are a ball of emotions right now.
"Oh, I see," said the waitress a little relieved, leaving the cakes and coffees on the table. "Well... congratulations! And... if you need anything else, just ask" and she withdrew with a little bow.
The two women stood for a while in silence, each concentrating their attention to their own thoughts rather than their respective cakes.
"Then... yes, we should get married," Sayaka finally spoke, taking a big bite of strawberry cake, and then a sip of her cappuccino.
Mitsuha looked up and looked at her friend. She smiled as she imagined her at her ceremony dressed in her shiromuku outfit.
"Yes, even if all this is a dream, we must live it and enjoy it. You deserve it."
"Thank you!" Sayaka replied, feeling her eyes watering again.
"Please don't do it again, or you'll make me cry!" complained Mitsuha when she saw her friend.
"No, I will not, I will not."
Sayaka began to wipe her eyes with a paper towel she took out of her purse.
"And... now I must talk to Tesshi, I must convince him that there is no need to be afraid."
Suddenly, Sayaka's words were as if a veil fell in front of Mitsuha. And it all made sense.
"Mitsuha, are you all right?" Sayaka asked worried when she saw the stupefied face that her last words left on her friend's face.
Mitsuha reacted by blinking heavily, and looked back at the girl suddenly feeling very foolish for not thinking clearly earlier.
"Yeah, I just... I think I understand now what's going on."
"About what?"
"My grandmother called me last night."
"And did you manage to talk to her?" asked Sayaka, who knew how bad the relationship between the Miyamizu family matriarch and her granddaughter was.
"No, I didn't talk to her directly. But she called me at home and left a message on the answering machine. She told me that Yotsuha was very strange, that she didn't know what was wrong with her and that I had to talk to her, and that I have to go see them this weekend. But I've been trying to get in touch with my sister since last night and she's not answering me..."
"Did something happen to her?"
"Yes, I think there's something wrong with her. The same as you!"
Sayaka's eyes widened in surprise, and she could imagine Yotsuha suffering the same existential anxieties.
"But... did she tell your grandmother anything? I mean... about you guys..."
"No, I don't think she told her anything."
"So... poor girl! She must be thinking terrible things, and alone, with no one to talk to!"
The feeling of guilt fell heavily on Mitsuha's chest. She had been selfishly enjoying herself all week with Taki, forgetting all her problems, without thinking about the consequences of having revealed everything to Tesshi, Sayaka and Yotsuha. And now they were suffering in silence because of her.
Mitsuha put her hand to her chest, and clenched her clothes in her fist. In a snatch she picked up the cup of coffee, sucked down a sip, and set the cup down somewhat roughly on her plate.
"I... I shouldn't have spoken. I shouldn't have told you anything," she said bitterly. "Because of me you are all carrying this burden now."
"No! We are friends, and that burden was chosen by Tesshi and me when we agreed to be part of your plan that day, have you forgotten that?"
"It did not start out as my plan, but Taki's..."
"Well, yes, it was you, although not you... but, but we accepted it, and although we did unforgivable things, we saved hundreds of lives!"
"But that's all in the past. And you could go on living your lives peacefully now, if only Taki and I hadn't opened our mouths."
"No. I think we deserved to know. I never imagined being a part of something... this big. And I think that, even though I'm scared, knowing that nothing that happened was a coincidence makes me... makes me feel that everything we suffered was for a good reason, even if I can't figure out what it was!" Sayaka said resolutely.
"Thank you! But now I have to talk to my sister. Since my grandmother demanded that I go see them this weekend, I'll have to go. I was thinking about it, and I wanted to take Taki, but now he... he is..."
"...he is on a business trip, isn't he?
Mitsuha felt a lump in her throat.
"Tesshi... did he tell you?"
"Yes, this afternoon he told me that his friends from the construction company called him to say thank you for his help in finding an architect so quickly, and that they were going with him out of Tokyo… for a few days?"
Mitsuha felt the lump in her throat intensify. She was about to say something, but had to cough.
Sayaka turned and made eye contact with the waitress, who was at the bar in the distance. With a few gestures, she ordered a couple of glasses of juice from the table. In less than a minute they were brought to them.
Mitsuha had been silent, until she received her juice, and took a sip. Then she looked at Sayaka.
"How... how do you... how do you... not depend on Tesshi?"
"Uh? What do you mean...?"
"How can you live your daily life without feeling that you need him... that you need him to be with you?"
"Well... I feel that all the time. We love each other for a reason, I guess."
"It's just that I... all this time, I didn't know he even existed, but I knew I needed something, somebody. And now I know he exists, I know he loves me, and I was happy now because I counted on him. I wanted to go see my grandmother with him, I wanted to talk to her with him by my side, to have him support me, and now that he can't, I feel... I feel alone! Why do I feel like this?"
Sayaka leaned back in the seat and looked at her friend feeling it was the first time she had seen her like this.
"You, Mitsuha... that thing you feel..."
"Yes?"
"It's called love," Sayaka said, smiling sympathetically at her friend.
"What are you talking about?"
"Feeling that you need that person close, that you don't want to let him leave your side. Feeling that you couldn't live or breathe if you lost him... that's loving that person."
"But... but that's depending on that person! I was an independent woman, I lived alone, and I am successful, but now I feel that..."
Mitsuha did not know how to continue explaining herself.
"You feel you can't conceive of your day without him around, don't you?" said Sayaka conclusively.
Mitsuha could only nod.
"That is ok," Sayaka continued, "I've never seen you like this, Mitsuha. I've never seen you suffer for someone flesh and blood. And now you have Taki, and what you feel is natural, if you really love him. But he's only gone for a week or so, right?"
"He said that for three or four days..."
Sayaka burst out laughing.
"Ha, ha, only four days?"
"Hey, it's not funny to me!"
"It's okay, sorry, Mitsuha... it's just that... you're really new to all this, ha, ha."
Mitsuha folded her arms and glared angrily at her friend.
"If it weren't for you being my friend, I swear I'd throw this glass of juice in your face."
"I'm sorry...; I've been through the same as you, and actually much worse than that. I know it's not nice. Do you remember when Tesshi had to go work on a project in Okinawa?"
"Oh, last year?"
"Yes... it was a little over a year ago. And it wasn't four days. It was five weeks. Five weeks where we could only talk on the phone or video call, and I wanted to be close to him, but I could only miss him; I know what you're feeling."
"Sorry..." said Mitsuha, feeling embarrassed. "Now I feel like a little girl throwing a tantrum..."
"It's your tantrum. It just shows that you really love that boy. You surprise me, Mitsuha."
Sayaka reached out a hand and grabbed her friend's hand across the table.
"Now you have to be strong and think about how to help your sister," she continued.
Mitsuha returned a grateful smile to her friend.
"I think I'll have to go alone. It's something for me to work out, after all."
"And can't you call him and have him participate in, I don't know, a video call?"
"I don't know. I haven't said anything to Taki yet. I didn't want to tell him about this problem with Yotsuha or my grandmother. He was so happy with his work trip, I didn't dare say anything..."
"But tell him! How would you feel if he had a problem like that, and left you out in the cold, without telling you anything?"
Mitsuha imagined the situation, and suddenly felt her face begin to burn, feeling a rush of adrenaline circulate through her body.
"Well... I would be very angry with him!"
"Exactly!" said Sayaka, letting go of Mitsuha's hand and leaning back in her seat. "And you want him to feel that way with you?"
"No!"
"And does he love you?"
"Of course he loves me!" Mitsuha replied almost without thinking, realizing how strange such an answer sounded even to herself.
"Then... if he really loves you, he will understand you, and he will do his best to support you, even if he is far away. Only, you shouldn't leave him out of your life, if you really want to have a life together with him," Sayaka explained, suddenly feeling like a teacher.
Mitsuha took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh.
"I didn't know... that this was... so difficult."
"It's never easy. But, if you really love each other, you'll work it out. And you've already suffered so much without each other for so many years. Now you have to learn to be together."
"I'm going to do it."
"And are you going to tell him?"
"Yes... although, he must still be traveling..."
"Look for the moment. I know he loves you, so he will understand you."
Mitsuha picked up her phone, placed it on her chest between her hands and closed her eyes. Mentally she began to speak as if in prayer, «Taki, forgive me for doubting. Forgive me for being weak...»
She opened her eyes, and activated the messaging app to enter the chat with Taki. There was Taki's last message still there, which she had not known how to answer.
«...I'm not going to let you go. I'm coming back to you, whatever it takes.»
Mitsuha looked at Sayaka, who was watching her intently.
"Will you tell him right now?" asked her friend curiously.
"No... I think I should talk to him personally. Or in a phone call, but not by messages. But... he promised me that..."
Mitsuha didn't know how to say it. She hesitated for a couple of seconds, and feeling somewhat embarrassed she held out her phone to Sayaka, so she could see Taki's latest message.
Sayaka picked up the phone and read it. Her face lit up with a radiant smile.
"That boy really loves you! How can you be so insecure, Mitsuha?"
"I don't know! This is all so... new. This week sometimes I've felt like I've been dreaming. Sometimes I don't even know what to think."
"Then, at least tell him how you really feel. Never let your man be away from you without him knowing that," Sayaka chided Mitsuha again with a professorial tone.
Mitsuha retrieved her phone and stared at the message. She thought about what to reply and how. After a few seconds she began to type decisively.
«I know you will come back to me. And I love you for that. »
She took a deep breath, and sent a second message.
«I miss you already. Come back soon.»
The Taki user's online indicator started flashing, next to the label «Typing...».
Mitsuha opened her eyes anxiously.
"He's online..." she said, her voice suddenly trembling.
"So... what does he say?"
After a few interminable seconds, the phone rang with a new message received.
«I miss you too. We are already on our way to the hotel in Nagoya. I will think of you all the time. Don't forget me.»
Mitsuha felt her chest burn. She looked at her friend with a smile, and feeling her eyes suddenly become watery.
"Thank you, Saya-chin. I'm a fool who barely understands these things. But now I know what to do."
Note 1: if you are lost about the context of Mitsuha and Sayaka location and what they were doing, you have to read (or recall) the chapter 8 "The Bridal Dress" of the previous fic "Kimi no Na wa: Rediscovering the Future" (also available in FFN).
Note 2: This chapter was delayed because of IRL issues. Life happens. And from now, there are more chapters to come. In my head. So, the 1 month publishing pace I had with previous chapters might not be the rule from now on. But I am working on this fic, eager to continue the story for Taki, Mitsuha, Yotsuha, and eager to share it with you!
If you have read 'til here, a big THANK YOU! Please left comments about what do you think about this story so far (November 2023).
And, I promise there is much more to come. But, be patient ^_^.