Scarlet Justice - ep. 28
"Above Charity"

Another day. Another easy C-Rank mission, escorting a small caravan to a town in the nearby countryside. Nothing like the excitement of my first mission, but...it's not exactly disappointing, either. I get the chance to bond with my team. Kurenai tells us about her younger days, doing roughly the same missions, partaking in Leaf tradition, and trying her best to balance being a young girl with being a kunoichi.

With the mission being easy enough, it means we make it back with plenty of time to spare. Kurenai tells us something after we leave the mission desk.

"Asuma suggested a joint lunch with our teams. Just to get familiar and unwind a bit. If you guys decide not to come, then that's okay too. No pressure."

She means that, but it might be bad form not to show up. I think about it while soaking in the bath.

Comrades and friends. What did they really mean to me? Could I possibly get close with more people, especially those in my year? The 'ice queen' reputation has spread far and wide by now. Although...it reminds me that our team has already been together for a few months. But it feels like much, much longer than that. Hina is growing up more with each day, and I train with her in response to her wish for strength. Kurenai has definitely taken on the role of big sister in our group, teaching us and nurturing us at the same time. She looks after us as a group and individually whenever she can. And Shino is much easier to read than when we first met. He still has that way of talking and expressing himself that would be a bother to others, but we're all over that now. As long as we can communicate with him, it's fine.

There are obviously things to improve along the way, but this feels good. It feels right.

"Solidarity..." I get out of the bath and clean up, then head to the kitchen for a refreshing glass of milk. The clock tells me there's still plenty of time in the day, and Luna is at her dance classes. She has been slimming nicely, and a touch lighter on her feet, I notice...

I suppose I should show my face at the gathering. There's no harm in it, and supporting my team is well worth the effort. I decide to go with a very casual look; a shirt with 'hime' written on the front in Western script, and a pair of jogging pants. It's not a special occasion from what I've been told, so...this should be more than fine. I finish freshening up, put my armband on, shuffle into a pair of comfy slippers, make sure the doors and windows are locked, check for my pouch with money and essentials, and then clear the apartment stairs with a light jump. Okay, good to go.

I walk down to the restaurant where we're supposed to meet - the barbeque place that Kurenai took us as a reward for our performance during team building. It's called Yakiniku Q and is frequented by Asuma and Team Ten; they go here after missions and to celebrate special events. Shino has arrived ahead of me, waiting at the front. He spots me and nods.

"Kobayashi. So you decided to come."

"I didn't have anything else I was going to do," I say with a shrug.

"Maybe reading one of those novels you like so much?"

"Maybe."

"Did you complete it?"

"Yes, I did. But I'm not going to show it to you here," I reply. "Perhaps some time this week during training."

"I look forward to it. In order to be an effective teammate, I need to be able to measure and compare our levels of skill. Why? Because it's then easier to make ourselves compatible on the battlefield, and achieve greater success."

"Oh? Sizing me up, then."

"Well..." He pushes up his glasses. "Who knows?"

I smile. Definitely stubborn, this boy. Well, it's fine. A little competition fosters growth, after all. Hina and Kurenai come in next, with our sensei wearing a silk blouse and jeans in place of her normal wear. She sure knows how to dress.

"..."

"What?" she asks me.

"Nothing," I respond. "You look really nice."

"Thank you, Lili."

"I'm sure Asuma will appreciate it, too."

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "I knew it. Listen, we're not dating as I've told you a thousand times before. We're just good friends and I wanted to be relaxed for this outing."

"Uh-huh," I say lazily. "Well, since we're all here...shall we head inside?"

"Yeah. Everyone else is already waiting."

We step inside and have a look at the interior. Certainly spacious, with plenty of tables and chairs, as well as more open areas so that people can rest on the floor if they like. This is also one of those places that has us grill the meat at our tables...the food is quite excellent, and it's good to come back here after the first time. Asuma waves to us with his team behind him.

"Good that you guys made it. The booths usually seat six at a time, and we're a big group. Maybe we can get a long table?" he suggests.

"Sure, that works," Kurenai says. "Lead on." Asuma nods and we all follow him to once of the longer tables, with cushions placed on the floor where we're supposed to sit. The table has two charcoal burners embedded in it, with pairs of tongs nearby for cooking our meals.

"Already ordered up, so the food will be arriving soon. Go ahead and have your seats," Asuma says. Kurenai predictably takes a spot beside Asuma, the guy she surely isn't dating at all. Yeah, right.

I don't commit to any place right away, and let everything fill up before taking the empty space in front of me. It's near the end of the table, with Shino on my right and Shikamaru on my left. To the left of him is Choji, who is impatiently waiting for the food to arrive. The boy does love his nourishment, from what I know. I'm in a decent mood right now, so I suppose I should introduce myself politely to Shikamaru. Not my first impression, but hopefully a good one. We have yet to talk formally and-

"Ah, this kind of thing...gathering with a bunch of stiff people on my day off. Honestly, what a pain in the ass."

"..." So this is all he knows. I see. "Oi, Ino. This guy's your teammate? This loser?"

"Yeah, I know. Annoying."

I drop all pretenses, since this is how he seems to want it. "Men-do-ku-sai, men-do-ku-sai, yah-yah-yah. It's always the same for you. Everything is mendokusai. Class is mendokusai. Training is mendokusai. You're beyond annoying. You're the worst."

"See-"

"Hey. Why not shut up for a moment instead of complaining. You see? It's so called men like you that drive women into each others' arms," I say with an icy tone. "Let me guess what you were going to say...that women like me are troublesome. Good, it's much better that way. It means we're out of reach of slackers like you."

"Why is your tongue so sharp?" he complains. "This is supposed to be a bonding event."

"Shut up. Who was the one saying that all of this was a pain in the ass and a waste of time?" I shoot back. "Learn your place."

"..." He's quiet after that, letting out a sigh.

Asuma and Kurenai are enjoying themselves, which is nice to see. Shino is being quiet as always and keeping to himself completely. Ino has given up trying to carry conversation with him and has turned to Hinata. They're hitting it off, but that's expected after spending some time together in the Academy for flower arranging.

"Someone anti-social like you...why would you come out to this kind of thing?"

I'm tempted to ignore Shikamaru, but I also figure it won't hurt to talk. At the least, bouncing back so quickly from my earlier verbal thrashing is a welcome surprise. He's laid out on his side now, propping his head up with one hand.

"I'm not anti-social," I say as I lean back on my hands. "I'm selective in who I speak to."

"Yeah, well. A lot of people think you're an icy bitch. I can see why they think that."

"Hmph. It seems better that they think of me that way," I reply. "I don't care for most people. It's always been that way."

"I realize you're not actually a bad person. Just a vicious woman."

"Yes. Your compliment is noted."

"You're really troublesome to talk to."

"Yes, I know." I pause a beat. "May I ask a question of you? Or would a reply consume too much of your remaining energy?" I ask.

"Did you really have to add that in?"

"Yes."

He grumbles before letting out a breath. "Fine. What is it..."

"Why do you not put effort into anything that you do?" I ask him.

"..." He's annoyed at the question. I don't care how he feels, frankly. "I'm not sure what you're trying to get at."

"The only person in our graduating class with worse grades than you was Naruto. He's a natural-born meathead." But he's definitely lovable. Quite stupid sometimes, but very lovable. "Your father is the Jounin Commander. What's your excuse?" I ask firmly. "Don't tell me it's bad parenting, either."

He winces before answering. "School just isn't my thing."

"Yes, I suppose. It must be hard finishing tests if you sleep through most of them."

"..."

"You could stand to be more responsible. I don't know if you're also secretly a genius, but you can do much better either way. And for the sake of your team, you should become more competent."

"..." He sighs in his usual manner.

"But I'm not really here to lecture you. And I don't claim to understand you, either."

"Why say something like that?" he asks.

"We come from inverted worlds. You, born into a world of shinobi that you would rather escape for a life of leisure. Myself, born into a world of leisure that I've escaped to take on a shinobi's life."

He raises a brow. "So...you're not going to bail at the next opportunity."

"Why would I? I made promises to loved ones. I'm going to become a jounin one day soon."

"You're really insane, you know that?" he says. "You're rich. You're a noble. You can spend your days in the countryside, you can do whatever you want."

"None of that means anything to me. Before this place...I only had myself to rely on. I was alone, and tired of life. Here, I get to feel the warmth of loved ones and comrades...it feels a lot like lying in the sun. I just want to feel that sort of warmth forever. Experiencing pain and loss, making bonds and even losing them one day...those are all better than never living at all. Than never getting the chance to...be someone."

"..."

"I know it doesn't make sense to you."

"No...no, it makes perfect sense," he says. I give him a surprised look. "It's definitely a pain in the ass, but it makes sense. Those sorts of feelings...it's no wonder you got so strong. And you've helped Hinata grow a lot as well."

"So you noticed after all."

Shikamaru makes a face. "Yeah. My eyes are sharper than I'd like...it means I have the responsibility of looking out for danger when I can. That really is a drag." The way he talks is more annoying than Shino at points, but I can clearly understand what he's saying.

Though he thinks of himself as a coward, he cares deeply for his teammates. He cares about a lot of things, and when push comes to shove, he would jump into action. Those strange quirks and his laziness don't change who he is as a person. I suppose...this is the true value of getting to know people. Discovering the goodness inside of them.

"You're not as bad as I thought," he says, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Actually, you're not bad at all." A smirk. "Just a huge bitch, honestly."

"Sincerely, this time...I appreciate your praise, Shikamaru."

He shrugs and gives me a lazy smile. "Yeah. I guess."

"Finally...food's here!" Choji yells. The plates are set down on the table, with our large companion practically salivating.

"Ah, that's the only thing he really gets excited for," Shikamaru mumbles. There's a faint smile on his face as he says that.

"You would know...what it's like to pick up a fallen friend," I say to him.

"They always said he was too fa-...I mean, plump, to do much of anything. Called him stupid and all kinds of names. But he ate those chips that Mom kept putting in my lunch, even after I asked her nicely not to. Choji is a reliable guy, so I want to keep supporting him no matter what. I know that Hinata feels the same about you. Well, actually...it has to be a stronger bond between the two of you. She's been abused since she was small..."

"Yes."

"And it resonates with you because of what you must have gone through. It's more than words between you, I guess."

I laugh softly. So he saw all of that at a glance...full of surprises, this one. He's grown on me already. "You slacker. You'd better put that brain of yours to use the next time that I see you."

"Ugh. You're gonna kick my ass if I don't, aren't you?"

"Yes. I'll have Ino arrange for it." I pick up my tongs and decide what I want to cook first.

"Shit...you really are a pain in the ass, Kobayashi."

"Yes. Naturally," I say.

He shakes his head and picks up a piece of meat with his tongs, putting it on the grill nearby.

The rest of lunch goes well. Our food is excellent yet again, conversation is decent, if a bit stilted at times, and there are no fights over food or anything else. Team Ten seems reliable on the whole. The latest Ino-Shika-Cho trio...I wonder if Asuma training them was the luck of the draw, or it was by design as the Third Hokage's son. Anything is possible.

Shino disappears like the wind - social outings don't seem to be his thing. Kurenai follows Asuma and Team Ten down the road. And I decide to walk Hina home today.

"It was nice today, wasn't it?" I ask her.

"Yes. Though...I didn't expect you to talk to Shikamaru so much."

"He has some interesting insights...the problem is that he needs a lot of motivation, or to just be tricked into doing something of importance. Somehow he'll survive, despite being such a slacker."

Hina giggles. "You do seem to bring out the best in people, Lili."

"Somewhat...I guess more comrades are nice."

"They always are." We reach the gates of the Hyuuga compound. "I'll see you soon, Lili."

"Of course, Hina. Please take care."

We share a hug before Hina approaches the gate and is escorted inside. The Hyuuga posted outside give me their usual dirty looks.

I show my appreciation for their kindness by flipping them off once Hina is out of sight. My blood starts to heat up slightly, thinking of her worthless father and what he might be doing to her. But...there's no point in giving into anger right now.

I'll deal with them in time.

Today features another visit from Midori. With Luna's appetite satisfied for the night, she sleeps soundly in her room, mumbling lewd things through her dreams. We leave her to her sleep and cuddle up on the couch together after dinner. I always love times like this, and there are never enough of them. I wish that Midori could stay here all the time, but she has business in her world that's very important. It seems to be heavy at times, and draining...sometimes she falls asleep in Luna's arms soon after her arrival, and we found out she's gone for days without rest.

I want to protect her like she protects me. One day...I will.

"Midori-nee? Can I ask a question?"

"Yes, my love. Anything you want." She holds me close and strokes my hair gently, just as she always does. I always feel like melting away in her warmth...sometimes I do fall asleep like this, and she doesn't do a thing to disturb me.

"I...it's a difficult question..."

"Please. Tell me what it is," she says soothingly.

"What are you afraid of, Midori-nee? What scares you the most?"

"Hurting."

"Hurting...? Do you mean pain?" I ask.

"No. Pain to me is...different. All of us can deal with pain, I think, but hurting...hurting is something else. When I hurt, it...paralyzes me. Makes me completely useless. Hurting is the thing I fear the most." I feel her squeeze me a bit tighter. "I do many things to avoid hurt. I change the feeling into anger, and deliver retribution. Or sadness, that turns to resolve. Compassion, that turns into determination."

"Why do you not like to hurt, Midori-nee?"

"Because...I blame myself for a lot of things. If I had been able to overcome it all earlier, I feel like...things would have been better."

"I..." I feel badly now. "I'm sorry..."

"No. Don't apologize, Lili. I said that I would answer you. I promised."

"You're right. I just wanted to know," I say quietly.

"...there were two beautiful beacons of light, long ago. When I was abandoned to the winds, by a family that has lost all of their faces in my memories, those two gave me hope. A reason to continue to exist. They taught me how beautiful humans could be, and I learned how to look into the soul itself because of what they instilled in me."

"Please...who were they?"

"Imperfect, loving humans. My uncle and auntie...Hayate and Ari. Both fragile, hard-working and joyful people. They protected me. They raised me. And they...gave everything for me. It was because of that hurt, that paralysis that I could only watch them disappear. And even though...it was what they wanted. Keeping me safe from harm. I still curse myself because of it."

I know that feeling. That sort of hurt, from being there and still being useless, unable to do a thing as someone so precious to me slipped from my grasp.

"Did they have a wish for you?" I ask.

"Yes. To never go back to the person I once was...and to become a beautiful, shining empress."

"You're making their dream come true." I lift my head slightly to look into her golden eyes. "You are a beautiful daughter of heaven, who has blessed me with love and strength, Midori-nee. You're a person to be proud of."

Sometimes...even those who shine brightly need reassurance and comfort. Her smile is beautiful and warm, and I'm glad that I can be there for her as I am. I want to keep growing, so that one day...

...she will never have to hurt like that again.