Scarlet Justice - ep. 75
"Dusty Journals"

"So ideally, there would be constant generation of electricity using the supply from the reservoir. There would also be controls for peak and off peak power demand. Isn't it possible to have a system that uses natural gravity?"

"Such systems exist, yes. The goal however within current society is to have power that can be stored. If there is oversupply, it cannot be used in the mentioned system. The potential for environmental impact is lower, but if operation becomes intermittent as a result...you see where this goes, yes?"

"Hm."

Shino and I have been discussing the merits of hydroelectric power generation while watching Kurenai and Hinata practice swordplay. It's another day on the the training field. While I freely discuss the more enjoyable parts of the recent mission to the Sand, such as my lovely companions, for instance, the more active portions need to be sealed away for everyone's safety. I'm very sure that each of my comrades can take care of themselves, it's the village that I worry most about if someone were to make casual mention of my performance at any point in time. It's something that the Sand would hope for, anyways.

"Speaking of electricity."

"Yes, speaking of that. What happens to be on your mind, Shino?"

"I noted your appreciation of certain physical features with regards to your companions on the recent mission. A good while ago, when you formally introduced yourself, you expressed a desire to meet with young women that could be described as exotic in nature."

"I see. Well, two of them were already taken and the other prefers boys. Long distance relationships aren't impossible, especially with the ties that Sand has to Leaf, but it wouldn't have worked out this time for many reasons. Enjoying their company was enough."

"Hm."

"It is as I told my dear Aiko when we were together. I don't lay claim to every girl that walks this earth. Nor would I try to pressure them into relationships with me just because I wanted it. Now, if they awaken to the same desires as me...that's a different story."

"Awaken?"

"It's not something that can easily be identified one way or another. Simply a sort of feeling that lets you know what's happening and why it's happening. I have Luna and Ane-ue to thank for opening my eyes to this world's true pleasures."

"I see." He pushes up his glasses with one hand. The frame is a bit off balance, but I'm sure he'll get to that when he gets home. Those are an older pair, anyways. "I was merely wondering if you wouldn't be pursuing a relationship by now."

"Are you worrying for me?"

"I couldn't call it that. Curious, if I had to say anything."

"Mm. Well, there is someone on my mind. I'm going to see her soon...she's currently in a place outside of the village to the north, recuperating."

"An exotic foreigner?"

"You would think. This person is...interesting, in a lot of ways. Someone who should sit outside of my strike zone. Low and away, to be specific."

Shino subtly raises a brow. "Is that so."

"'Tis so."

"It sounds like a good thing, then. There must be something to the type of person that can draw you in despite all of those...disadvantages."

"That would be the right word, yes. I...sometimes wonder, Shino. I hope that this isn't some advanced form of pity on my part. There's a genuine feeling there. I don't know if she might turn into something, or rather someone more to me. The doubt that was there before has disappeared. I suppose I'll figure it out when I see her next. Such an unexpected thing."

"Yes."

"What about you?"

"Life has been unkind so far. My expectations are kept low as a result, to avoid any harsh feelings or disappointment."

"I see."

"Boss...if you could just leave it at that, I would appreciate it."

"You don't want to be condescended to. Of course. That said, you are not an undesirable person. Or...lame. Anything like that. A good woman will come your way soon enough."

"It would have to be entirely on luck, then. I lack my father's charisma." He turns to me. "Even that one...Koichi Nagano. There are women who desire companionship with him, openly. He has a cutting-edge gimmick and notable strength. I would be hard pressed to compete against that sort of thing, let alone the likes of Sasuke. Even Naruto has what's called a 'rugged charm' that attracts people like Hinata to him."

"Hm."

"Sorry, Boss. I don't mean to talk over you like that."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Shino. I stand by what I said earlier. You're a good person, and you will find a companion in good time. As the heavens will it, so shall it be done."

"Thanks."

It's nice to hear those sorts of things from him. That sort of feeling, that impression with regards to the world. A passion, you could call it, that most people would assume he didn't have. Right now it's a bit stressful for teenage boys, but it should fade away soon enough. What I've said will come to pass. Although...it wouldn't hurt to use my connections for his sake, and see what the pulse of the village is here. No chance that he hasn't gained a few fans lately. Further decisions will be left to him, as it should be. I don't want to meddle too much.

"All right, I think that's it for today. Lili, got time to spot for me? Feeling like some weights today," Kurenai says as she and Hina approach us.

"Easily done. We can eat something hearty afterwards."

"Yeah. I'll pay today."

"Noted. Then we will see you later, loves. You have my number if anything should come up," I say to Hina and Shino.

"Oh, Lili. There's something for you...give me a moment," Hina says as she runs to her bag. I receive a standard size envelope from her, with my name written in very neat strokes across the front. The back is sealed with wax. Very fancy.

"Who is this from?"

"I can't say. Hanabi handed it to me before I left this morning...I can only assume it's someone from the Main Family. But my part in this is over now that you have the letter."

"Mm. It seems serious. Urgent?"

"That wasn't relayed to me either."

"Very curious. I suppose that means I can keep them waiting for a week or so. I have important exploits to take care of in the meantime."

"Only you would treat a message from Hyuuga so casually."

"Yes, and you love that about me."

"I do, yes," Hina says with a smile. "You and Kurenai-sensei take care. Please don't overwork, okay?"

"Promise." We kiss each other on the cheeks gently. Kurenai and I leave the training field together and cross back into town, bags slung over our shoulders.

"It's getting a little hot out there, Lili."

"I see."

"Some people are...stuck up about the whole thing. It's not confirmed and will probably stay that way for a while. But people might start saying things they shouldn't, you know what I mean? Your circle's been quiet about it, as you probably know. Tsume...she hasn't gone as far as saying anything that would hurt you. Just loudly mentioning that you're a lady killer and all that."

"A little spice never hurts."

"You would say that." Kurenai sighs. "Listen, you've got the backing of the Hokage and everyone, but nobody's invincible."

"Kurenai, you don't need to worry about me too much. I will be fine, I promise you. If I do need your help, I will call."

"I know...just, you know."

"Yes, I know. I won't be too reckless. Nothing too obvious, nothing too serious...not yet, anyways."

"Good. And don't think about brushing me off or anything stupid like that. You're the one who kept teasing me and calling me onee-chan and whatever. So this is what you get, a couple earfuls from your big sister."

"It's something I appreciate very much," I say sincerely. "Thank you, Kurenai."

"Yeah. Be proud of yourself above all else. You're my Lili, no matter how many skirts you chase."

"Don't be too reckless yourself. I'm sure the Sarutobi Clan likes to keep their traditions intact. It wouldn't do for them to learn that you're running around with a wealthy little deviant while dating one of their sons."

"We're...not really a thing yet."

"Officially."

"Officially, yeah. I dunno, we haven't been on a proper date..."

"You don't need to go on one to be a couple."

"Right? That's what I told him, but he wasn't having it. I think one of his aunts kept insisting it was the case, and the Hokage...I don't think he wants to get in the middle of it. We haven't talked about it yet but he clearly knows."

"Should I move a few things around for you?" I ask.

"Ah...nah, it's fine as is. Maybe we'll do more teaming up once things start to slow down around here."

"Understood."

"Good. I think today should be a back day. Yeah, I like the sound of that. What about you?"

"I'll be resting for a few days, so I can take care of the legs today again," I say.

"Alright. Did you crack that mystery with the chakra mode yet?"

"Not yet. I feel like I'm getting close, though. It's not terribly urgent, the third and fourth stages are more than enough to take care of most enemies. Anyone who can shrug those off is an existential threat, or at least on the level of Orochimaru."

"Existential threat, huh."

I look up at Kurenai. "My estimation of myself is appropriately high."

"I won't argue with you there," she says with a smile.

The days continue to shorten. Autumn is crisp and comfortable as always...we approach winter in Fire Country with care and grace. Quite lovely to see.

I've made it to the usual resort north of the village. More patrons are arriving at this point in time, the space between autumn and winter where cool breezes mix with hot baths for a refreshing sensation. The outdoor baths are popular for this reason, and the indoor ones are also starting to fill up nicely. But while the hot springs are a treat, they're not why I'm here today.

I've decided to go with something normal enough for today's visit: a plain silk sweater in pink, and a comfortable pair of jeans. As hard as it is to keep a lower profile these days, I think I should make a token effort to try.

"Hm...let's see..."

There are a few small cafes in the area, and I look around them for a bit before spotting the person I wanted to see. They're sipping water on the patio of one such establishment.

"Fio!"

"Lili...it's nice to see you again." Her smile is gentle and a bit melancholy, if I had to say. The clothes she's wearing are plain and grey, most likely an attempt to keep attention away from her body. Unfortunately, it seems to be doing the opposite. The fit isn't very good and the colours make her look dull. Some of her long white hair is tied into a ponytail, with the rest sitting on her shoulders.

"I'm quite happy to see you as well. You're just having water today?" I ask as I nod towards her table.

"Just something while I decide what to eat...I'm not sure if I'll have much of anything, but I'll make an order anyways. No point in making extra work for people, after all. I didn't expect to see you again so soon. Have you come on business?"

"No, I came to see a friend of mine."

"Oh. I see."

"Fio, you silly girl. It's you."

She blushes. "Me? I...I see, then. Then I won't refuse you if you want to spend time with me. I'm really happy to hear that, especially because...well, I've really come to like you, Lili."

"I've come to like you too, Fio."

"I'm glad to hear that," she says with a cute smile. "I really wanted a chance to get to know you better. How long will you be staying?"

"Mm...a few days at least, maybe a week. There's not much for me to do in the village right now, since I just had an important mission and all. I also had a request granted for time off, so...it won't be a bother at all. Ane-ue is still on business and Luna has gone on a trip to the estate. My mother Emi is eager to see her again and hear reports on my progress. So this is a perfect time to play with friends."

"Ah...that's a lot. You really live a charmed life, Lili."

"Are we jealous?" I ask.

"Very. I craved that type of life at one point. Being an elite, gaining freedom...everything like that."

"Well, I don't mean to tease you. It certainly has its benefits, this level of prestige."

"Is that so...it's alright." She giggles a little and looks up at me. "Even if it's a small thimble of icing from the queen's cake...I want the chance to swallow it up, Lili."

I can't help but laugh at that. "Well, well. Quite a response from our Fio! Then I'll let you eat until you're satisfied and then some...let's enjoy ourselves, and open up our hearts a little together. Does that please you?"

"That would be lovely."

"Good. Let's start by sharing a treat at this establishment. I'll spoil you more afterwards."

We talk a bit about our recent exploits. I tell Fio as much as I can about the recent mission to the Hidden Sand, and she speaks about her efforts to try and gain a bit of weight. She says it's strictly for health reasons, but it's clear that there's more to it. In any case, I want to help her and take measures to do so.

Orochimaru's experiments have done a lot more to her than I realized. She can't eat like everyone else - I watched her at the cafe and she was consuming things in a manner that told me it was for sustenance only. She also didn't look very satisfied when we were both done. With that, I took her across town to a buffet-style place and told her to eat as much as she wanted. In the meantime, I watched her carefully. Fio can eat...an incredible amount of food for someone her size. But the manner in which she eats...she favours food with notable texture to it, the kind that she can repeatedly interact with. As for taste, it explains why she consumes things so listlessly at times. She can barely taste anything as she is. The most intense flavours, high amounts of spice and sugar for instance, elicit large reactions from her. Everything else is weak at best.

"I've never eaten this well before...and there are so many fancy dishes here. I've never seen a buffet like this," she says as she finishes eating.

"It's definitely upscale, which is why it carries some exotic types of dishes that would normally be too expensive for other establishments," I explain. My nose crinkles as I rub a very, very hot chili sauce into my steak. "Here, try this."

"Okay." She obediently opens her mouth and I place a slice of steak into it. She happily chews on it for a while before swallowing. "Wow! It's so juicy and tender...and I can taste all the flavours! What did you do?"

"Slathered it in abnormally hot chili sauces and spices, of course. Since you like it, go ahead and have the rest of it."

"You're sure?"

"Of course, of course. There's more than enough food for everyone here, you know."

"Right. I forgot where we were already. Mm-mm..." She sighs happily and wipes a tear from her eye. "That's...really nice. I guess I know how I can eat properly now..."

"Yes."

"I'm not that bright, so I didn't know what exactly was wrong...I just kept eating normally, and my appetite would kind of disappear after a while. Part of eating is the joy in it, you know? I love food, I always have. But after being fed such bad stuff by Orochimaru and Kabuto, and then just losing the ability to taste anything properly...it was hard up until now."

"That's not your fault," I say.

"I know. I just...feel like an idiot, even knowing all that."

"We'll get some more meat on your bones during this week, yes? I'll help you."

"I appreciate that. But...how come you want to help me so badly, Lili?"

"I really want to see you well. I've been thinking about you, you know. How you've been dealt such a bad hand. But even then, you held onto your confidence and optimism. Maybe...I want to see the Fio from a time gone by. A person who can be happy with herself, and in herself."

"I see. That's a noble goal."

"It sounds like it, yes."

"Oh?" She gives me a teasing smile. "Is there more?"

"Curiosity," I say honestly. "Perhaps...I want to see how beautiful a girl like you can become, sculpted by my hand."

"Ooh. A little self-interest on your end, then."

"Hmph. More than a little, my dear."

"That's more than fine. I like that you're paying me this much attention in the first place. You know...since you're so pretty."

"Oh, Fio. You don't need to flatter me anymore than this. I can buy you food tomorrow as well."

She laughs. "You're terrible, Lili!"

"The worst, as I've heard so many times before." I smile back at her. "And proud of it."

And so, we continue. We move through the week and continue to eat heartily together. I do a fair bit of running outside of the resort in order to keep in shape while Fio rests as much as she can. The results are a slight gain for me, and modest increases for her. A few pounds was more than I was expecting, and I have to wonder how long she'll keep it on for. I can ask Tsunade for advice, but something tells me the solution will involve some sort of rare drug or surgical procedure.

"Are you sure you're not spending too much on me?"

"You worry too much." Today's breakfast involves several types of pancake and a lot of syrup. I had the waitress bring out a large container for said syrup, so that she wouldn't have to run back and forth constantly replacing empty bottles. There are also plates of bacon and sausage, steak, eggs and vegetables. The table is almost crowded, but I can move my arms to eat at least.

"I don't think I'm worrying too much. Also, you don't have to eat as much as I do."

"It's fine," I say. "I could stand to put on a bit of weight anyways. It's not going to make me any slower. You know, normally I wouldn't allow anyone to do this to themselves, but that bit of information you revealed yesterday was helpful." I make myself a crude steak sandwich with tomatoes and bite into it. "On top of your already high metabolic processes, your unstable existence causes your body to self-repair continuously to equilibrium. That's what you said, wasn't it?"

"It's what I remembered that Orochimaru told me...or said in passing, at least. I might be mistaken. But it seems correct right now."

"It seems to track, yes. After all, your body has to remember the shape it was in before transforming into steam."

"I see. All of this is...I guess more than I can comprehend."

"I'm no expert when it comes to this either. Lady Tsunade would know more."

"Lili? Everything you've done so far has been wonderful. I think that if I keep at this, at my own pace...I can become whole again. Just knowing how to carry on means so much, you know?"

I nod. "I appreciate that. It's far from over, and I would like to know that you're truly well before we part ways again."

"It's as you said before. Patience. Right?"

"Right."

"Let's finish eating. It's...a bit difficult being stared at again," Fio says nervously. I shift my eyes to one side and see that the waitresses are gossiping. The bits and pieces I can catch from their conversation tell me that they're talking about us.

"Yes. Let's finish what we have here and go. How much did you want on your side?" I ask.

"Oh, can I hog the pancakes? They're so good and I haven't had any in a while..."

"Anything your little heart desires," I say with a smile. "There you go. I'll have myself a few of these steaks. They can be worked off properly later."

We eat steadily and finish off every plate on the table. I leave a tip and we exit the restaurant without a word. Fio seems very happy, and her spirits have been lifted over the past few days. A cute, sleepy-eyed young woman. And a pleasure to be with at all hours. I wonder...what it is I'm thinking. Wondering what I'm thinking. A contradiction if there ever was one, one would argue. But I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously masking my thoughts, or transforming them into something else entirely. Maybe this would be a good time to say something to her about that.

The scenery around us is nice and lush. There are many trees planted, some with blossoming flowers that inject splashes of colour into the area. I look up at them while thinking of what to say.

"Lili?"

"Yes, Fio. What is it?" I ask her.

"I'm going to be a bit...forward again."

"I certainly don't mind that. Did you have something that you wanted to ask?"

"I want to know where it all started for you. Some of your story, where you came from...things like that. If it's not too much to ask, I know things like this can get very personal and sensitive, all of that."

"Is that all you want of me?"

"It's a lot. It's enough, if you wanted to do that."

"..."

I gently take her hand and we move down one of the side streets, further away from the rising steam of the outdoor springs. A small clearing comes into view, with a smooth and flat rock that's big enough for two people. I seat Fio and then sit beside her.

"Lili?"

"It's not something insolent, if you're thinking that. I...just wanted to ask. Why did you want to know all of a sudden?"

"I'm not really sure. It's hard to explain." Fio puts her hands over her chest and takes a deep breath in. "There's a thumping in my heart. It makes a loud echo that I can't ignore. Every part of me...mind, body, and spirit. When I get near you like this, I feel so peaceful. So...I wanted to learn more. I wanted to know more about the girl who has already gone this far for me, who has decided on her own to show me this much kindness."

"..."

"Even if it's only a small, short glimpse...I really want to see inside of your heart."

I really didn't expect this. In some ways, it is a lot to take in. It is a lot to show someone that, in comparison to so many others, I have only just met. And yet...I felt strongly enough to reach out to Fio and treat her like this, like someone who was worth far more than the sum of their parts.

Our eyes meet, and are locked together for what feels like a long while.

And then, I slowly part my lips to speak.

I was born Lilith Caroline Rothschild. A child who met the average in every aspect, normal and healthy looking. My father, Leonidas Rothschild, born Newton. My mother, heiress to a massive fortune, Caroline Athena Rothschild.

It was April 20th of a certain year. Once my gender was known, my father made the decision to name me after the temptress, the demon, out of pettiness and frustration. My mother frowned upon it, but she was above all else a woman. She had no power, especially once she was married off. In the end, the family agreed with the name, thinking it was appropriately exotic. My mother found a hidden beauty in it for herself. Lily...or Lili. A blossoming, heavenly flower.

My father was almost never present. My mother was always protective and sometimes smothering. She had her quirks and annoyances, but she genuinely loved me, and showed it at every turn.

I started life as a happy child with good prospects. My grades carried well, year after year. I learned proper speech and etiquette, including the basics of several different languages. Among them was the common tongue of this land, of course. I was curious and wanted to learn the family trade, but said family was very old-fashioned - that is to say, misogynistic. My mother planned to teach me in secret at a certain point, just so that I could properly control my own destiny. Even for a noblewoman, she was reckless, impulsive, and just a bit self-absorbed. Her appetite for food and drink was infamous; she could drink anyone under the table with ease, and devoured entire roast chickens on her own, even after being scolded by the cooks repeatedly. She loved games of all kinds, especially the newer electronic games of the time that excited her immensely. We often played together once I was done with my studies. She tinkered with electronics and tools, even if she didn't understand what was going on inside of them. She loved my red hair and played with it whenever she could, which ended up being therapeutic. My mother was a strange woman, but she gave me a normal and memorable early childhood. She wanted as much of my time as she could have, but she never hurt me. She never tried to change me, she never forced a single thing onto me. Maybe she was a little pouty, but it was all in good fun. And as far as my father's demands, along with that of the family...she was always smartly obedient. She never caused chaos that would give them any reason to reprimand her. She always accepted and adapted as needed.

My mother Caroline was...an eccentric. She carried on as she wanted, mostly because of the fact that my father was almost never home. I recall her figure and it would be best described as average. Definitely on the thinner side, nothing too amazing. But she had a beautiful face that could launch at least a thousand ships. And of course, that brilliant head of red hair, which she was proud of, just as she was of mine. She carried herself charmingly, and had a nimble mind that she used to navigate the world of the elites with ease. I didn't understand what it all meant at the time, so it simply looked like some sort of magic that she used. The ability to charm men and then turn them away in a single motion. The strength to stand up to other women and redirect their barbs in a single breath. She was amazing...someone that I called a heroine within myself.

My father, Leonidas...someone who took great care of his appearance, and had a youthful face. I didn't inherit his most desirable features, his blue eyes and blonde hair. I know now that my head wrapped in scarlet was his greatest shame. But...I wouldn't know it for certain. He was never around enough for me to know what he was like underneath the tuxedos and three piece suits. He was straightforward, some would call him logical. Exceedingly bitter. Only cared about results and obtaining them by any means. He constantly bought presents and that distracted me up to a point. I soon longed for him to be there while I opened them. For him to...see the happiness that might have been on my face. To be able to say a thank you for thinking of me. It's possible that he wasn't thinking of me at all when buying those gifts. Or that he never once paid it any mind, and it was just one of the help that bought something for little girls and handed it to my mother with a note. There are so many things. So many thoughts. Hm. As much as I try to deny him in my memories...

I lived a life that floated on the waves of normalcy, at least for a wealthy child.

It was in my seventh year of that life that I watched my mother wither away.

She held herself upright in the face of her illness. She smiled, and she laughed. She broke down, and she cried. She was miserable, and angry. She searched for meaning in everything that she could. And she hid nothing from me. I saw her as she was, and as she could be. I did what I could to comfort her. I tried to be by her side. That eccentric heroine that I loved so much, the woman that I wanted to be one day...she was eaten away in the space of a month. She died in the way she wanted, with me nearby. Though...I know she wished for more time. She wanted to show me the world, to keep all of those promises she made to me. But I remember that she was warm even in death. I remember that above all else.

There was a fortune she held, and it was passed onto my father. If he grieved for her, I couldn't tell in the short moments we were together. Eventually, we decided to leave for parts unknown. It was sudden and startling. I watched as he indulged himself for two long years, and he tried to buy me off to hide his guilt. That guilt that kept bleeding through, but that I also turned my eyes away from because it frightened me. All those implications. I saw the darkness of the world, and ended up immersed in visions of sin. Thinking back on it...it was little wonder that I turned out like this. So...liberated. Watching the glistening skin of those models and working girls who walked in and out of rooms, looking to deliver good times and partake in pleasures for themselves...it wasn't an awakening like I would experience later, but it did twist many things loose in me. Things I wouldn't talk about or act on out of fear and weakness, but things all the same. Those dark memories were buried in my heart like seeds, and only needed a bit of sustenance to grow.

My father courted and married a woman by the name of Emi Kobayashi. He took over the family business the moment they were married, and never looked back from there. There was no time wasted, and he settled back into his old ways. I was just baggage again. Emi was...a shrewd, selfish woman who openly manipulated anyone that she wanted. A ruthless bitch, to be blunt. There was a maid by the name of Lunamaria Daidouji who was hired to keep me, the child, in a distant corner. To be seen and never heard. I resumed life and my studies, but I had changed. I no longer understood myself, and stopped talking unless I absolutely had to. I forgot how to smile properly. It turned into...that. A twisted imitation of what I remembered those filthy adults doing whenever they would approach me. Something that frequently chilled me to the bone, and was etched into my mind. A smile that came from my head, and never my heart.

This was the person that I had become. The person that I would remain as until that day, where I met Midori. Everything from there...changed.

Love...have I ever fallen in love before? No. I never liked boys in that way. They sometimes played with me, out of novelty because I wasn't like the other girls. That stoic nature and attention to detail made me tolerable. Girls hadn't come to mind in the same way as they do now, and I was always pushed away from their in groups because of my nature.

My father. I hate my father. I say it over and over again. I mean it, but I wonder if I'm just trying to convince myself that it's the truth. I don't want anything to do with him, for many reasons. He wasn't there when my mother died. He wasn't there when she was sick. He wasn't there when she was well. And he always...saw me as a mistake, no matter how hard I tried to prove otherwise.

Home was a big and empty place that I don't remember much of. It was my mother who gave colour to those walls, and without her...there was nothing. But I have vivid memories of those bars and gentlemen clubs, those brothels, those hotels that would cost a normal person an entire month's rent for a single night. I remember the women of the night who would look at me as if I were a doll to play with. I remember how they would try to talk to me and around me like I was stupid. I remember the leers of the men who saw me sitting alone in lobbies, waiting for my father to finish fucking some expensive whore before he treated me to an overpriced, unfulfilling meal for the third or fourth night in a row.

There was a time where I sat in a room alone, thinking about dying slowly.

No. That's wrong.

There were many times like that.

"It's...heavy."

Fio's voice is quiet as I finish speaking. It feels like the energy has been sucked out of me, just recalling those memories.

"Does the past feel...distant now?"

I parse her question slowly. "It's some distance away, but...never truly gone. As if I can see it each time I look over my shoulder."

"No wonder. Thank you for telling me all of that, Lili. It means a lot, that you could trust me like this."

"Of course. This is among the least of things I could do for you." I look at Fio closely. "Please remember what I tell you."

"What is it?"

"Love yourself. Love your body, in the way that only you can. No matter what people might think or say, you are not a monster. Do you understand?"

She pauses a moment before smiling and nodding. "Yes. I understand, Lili."

"Good."

"Your mom sounds really cool. Caroline, I mean. But you mentioned Emi...is she really that bad?"

"Depends on what you mean by bad," I say as I leave my seat. Fio does the same and walks next to me as we return to the resort. "Our relationship now is splendid, to the point where we're girlfriends and share raunchy stories over the phone."

"Wow...that's, um. Interesting."

"You don't know the half of it. Did you know what that woman said to me the other day? She said she had tapes being sold in stores."

"Tapes? What kind of tapes?"

I give Fio a look and she gasps.

"No way...someone had to have noticed..."

"Apparently she was in disguise, but I doubt that's good enough. Or it won't be for long. When we first met, she would put me in these hideous dresses," I say to Fio. "We did reminisce about that the other day, and there was an interesting sort of psychological play going on that I didn't think of until she mentioned it..."