cw: much better safe than sorry. there is some talk about torture and passive suicidal ideation at points in this chapter. other than that, just mellow stuff. thanks.

Scarlet Justice - ep. 80
"Smoky Shards"

A few more days pass. I'm cleared for field missions again and take on some simple ones with my team, collecting a fair bit of money for a small bit of work. Luna is with Midori again, doing tours of the kingdom and attempting to guide the transitional teams safely through their tasks. Whatever it is, I hope they're successful. I'm not terribly interested in politics at this moment.

And so, with that in mind...I've gone to see my friend Fio once more. As part of this little project of ours, I've decided to take her shopping for a proper set of clothes. She doesn't have all that much money to spend on anything outside of the basics, and she's so stubborn that she keeps refusing my monetary gifts. Some light persuasion got her to agree to this outing.

"Good morning, my love."

"Good morning, Lili. It's nice to see you again." We share a hug before heading into the shopping district, where trendy people walk around in freshly bought clothes and jewellery, preening for onlookers and staging impromptu photo sessions. It's pedestrian and not worth paying attention to. What bothers me is something else entirely.

"Lili?"

"Mm? What is it, Fio?" I ask her.

"This...it's okay, right? You're not bothered?"

I sigh and try to ignore the bad attention people are giving us as we pass them. Fio is pale, and more than a bit thin still, but...she's not some abomination. It's difficult to not say something.

"This is perfectly fine, my darling. I don't mind at all."

"I understand. Then let's find something for us both while we're here. You know, I've never been inside of one of these places before."

"Is that so? Do they not have these sorts of structures in the Hidden Rock?"

"They do, it's just that between school and training and all of that, I never got a chance to explore much. I was a bit of a sheltered child, funnily enough. Guess that's what happens when people see you as talented and everything."

"I suppose so. There's a shop up ahead that I think you'll like. You can pick anything out that pleases you."

"For you as well?"

I laugh. "Surprise me, then."

"Mm...I will. Definitely." We get to the shop and Fio starts her stroll through it. Another set of odd looks that I immediately shut down with an intense look of my own. I know she can take care of herself, but I have little patience for this sort of discrimination.

This small store has a decent selection of casual wear, and I follow Fio while picking up a few things here and there. Mostly things for indoors, but that will be useful for the summer months when they do arrive. I'll gather up some of my clothing at home later before giving it away - surely someone can make use of my old clothing, without having to sell their souls in the process. I model some of my picks and Fio approves of all of them. I'm not sure if she's got the same impeccable taste as I do, or she's just distracted by my natural good looks. I don't mind either way, of course.

"I really do think black suits you. Very smooth and...mysterious, almost," she says as we stand in the changing room together.

"Interesting."

"I'm not quite sure how to describe it...maybe one day. I just know it's something I like."

"That's fine. I understand what you mean, Fio. Did you find something for yourself that you liked?"

"A few things. I just don't...want to change, as I am," she says quietly.

I nod with understanding. "Bring me what you have, and I'll be your model for today."

"You're sure?"

"More than sure. I'm positive. And determined to do this for you. Now, you will have to adjust your expectations accordingly, as I am a near perfect physical specimen, but you can get a decent preview of what those outfits will look on your body, when you get back up to speed. Right?"

"Right," she says with a giggle.

"Then we'll begin."

I temporarily put my hair up, trying to match the way Fio looks so she has a decent approximation of herself. Our frames, while not the same right now are close enough to make some rough estimations. I pose for her obediently and she has a diligent look on her face as she accepts and rejects outfits, has me try different combinations, and looks me over from different angles. It's quite interesting, this feeling...being observed so carefully and patiently by someone else. I can tell when her eyes linger on one place longer than they should, and she tries to play it off by brushing her hair back a little, or placing a hand on her cheek lightly. The slight raising of her brows when I appear in something she finds interesting. Things like that.

"It's all very nice...I think those will do," she says after a while.

"You're sure, now."

"I'm sure. Or...did you want me to stare at you for a few more hours?" She gives me a playful smile.

"I might. I rather enjoyed modelling for you today, you know. There's another shop we should head to...perhaps more for my pleasure than yours, but you'll enjoy it all the same."

"I can't wait."

"Splendid." I gather up the clothing we intend to buy, while Fio handles the discards. "Listen, Fio-"

"I noticed the moment we walked in, Lili. It's okay."

"That shouldn't be the case."

"I know. But it's fine. What matters is that you get to see the person that I'll become."

I frown. "You should calm down a little. Don't try to be a hero in all of this. Women have their pride, too."

"I understand that very well," she says as she looks back at me. "I don't enjoy being trampled on like that all the time, but there's nothing I can do right now. I'll endure, as I always have. But...I can carry on a lot better knowing that I'm not alone in this. Thank you for protecting me, Lili."

"..." What a brave girl.

"Shall we go?"

"We shall." The two of us head to the front desk, hand off our respective piles of clothing, and complete our transaction before leaving. Fio takes one bag from me, smiling brightly and skipping ahead to the next place that I've selected. I feel my heart filling up with joy, seeing her so happy today.

"So this is the next place, then? Pretty interesting..."

"Mm-hm." It's another high-end shop that sells many skirts and dresses, in all sorts of styles. A few kimonos are on display in the front window...the prices are a bit steep, even where I'm concerned. No thanks. Fio heads inside and I follow, going through the aisles and looking at the trendy little outfits they're promoting.

"Those dresses look kind of nice," Fio says as we browse. The staff seems less bothered by her appearance than the last store, which is good enough for me right now. "Though I remember you don't like them that much. Bad memories."

"Yes," I say. "Bad memories."

"Hm...what about on...your wedding day?"

"I can wear a skirt. I was never a traditionalist. Women can dress very cleanly in suits, too."

"They can, yes."

"Though if I were to try that...I would want to make sure that I filled out first. On the upper half, I mean."

"Really. That's interesting." Fio tilts her head a bit and thinks. "I think I understand the appeal, at least a little."

"There's a woman who works at the mansion that you should see. She pulls off the look incredibly well. It's delectable."

"Are you really going to travel around the world and find a wife, like you said earlier?"

"Yes."

"Would you...consider me? As a candidate?" Fio asks timidly.

"Really? You would want me to court you?" I ask. "If it's what you want..."

"It is, truly."

"Well, I'm already quite fond of you, so it's no trouble. You can go to the top of the list, since you asked so nicely."

"Are you just teasing me?"

"A little," I admit. "But I'm not pushing you away at all, you know. I think you would make a lovely wife."

"Thank you for that, Lili. Let's continue shopping."

"Of course." I wonder how...I got pulled into that conversation so easily. I meant what I said, I just don't know how I got to that conclusion. Or why I was trying to pull away so quickly. I did say I was looking for someone to marry, one day in the future. I did say that my options were open, and I've become attached to the girl that's with me now. Is it self-consciousness? Is it guilt of some kind?

"Lili? Come and look at this, won't you?"

"Yes." I bring myself out of that strange, sudden haze of thoughts and move towards Fio again. She's stopped in front of a certain display, which has a miniskirt paired with high socks.

"It's such a tempting combination," she says as I look over her shoulder. "I like all of the lines. The way the socks flow downwards, and then the little gap at the top where it meets the bottom of the skirt."

"Stockings are nice too," I say.

"Oh, they are. I can imagine them, too. Very flirty. Dangerous, almost." She looks at me. "Try that on for me?"

"Sure. I was looking to buy the socks, anyways. Let's get ourselves a pair off the rack."

We go to the changing room together and try on that combination. She nods with approval and takes her time observing again. It isn't invasive or anything, nor is it awkward. I feel quite comfortable, showing myself off to her. Not as a tease, but in this sort of natural state, where I can be genuinely admired and enjoy myself at the same time. Fio's gaze is gentle, but curious at the same time. Like she's committed to absorbing as much of me as she can for her memories. Maybe that's why she asked that question earlier.

How much should she worry, really?

"I was right. Very dangerous..."

Her voice brings me out of my thoughts again. She seems to be lost in some thoughts of her own.

"Maybe I took it for granted earlier. How attractive you are, Lili..."

"You're aggressive today, aren't you?" I say with a smile.

She blinks and rubs her cheek. "S-sorry. I don't mean to be like that today...it's probably more than a little weird. Um...the skirt is really nice. I'd like to have something like that."

"As we've discussed before, whatever you desire will be in your hands. Just ask."

"Thank you. Maybe a different pair of socks. I saw some that I liked earlier."

"I'll come find you in a bit, after I change out of this outfit."

"Right."

She leaves me alone again and I shed my clothing, searching for my pants in the meantime.

"..."

I thought it was just me this entire time, but maybe...there's something else there. Things just aren't clicking in for some reason. I start to think back to what Luna was feeling so long ago, when she seemed so helpless and lost when it came to dealing with her feelings for Midori. It's something like that, isn't it? It hasn't thrown me into a depression, but people are all different. I just feel...insecure, maybe? It's much like when people start talking about how I should be Hokage one day soon. I feel unworthy. It feels so similar.

Is that what's wrong with me? This constant feeling that I'm undeserving of honour and love? The thought that it has to be earned completely on my own? Complicated feelings...but I also want to honour my word, so I'll seriously consider...something with Fio in the future. Even if it just ends with us being friends.

"Are you alright, Lili?" she asks as I find her again.

"I'm fine. Just doing some thinking, that's all."

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable today. With all the...staring, I guess. And the questions. I'm just really attached to you, is all. You've come up to see me so often, giving me attention, looking after my health...I'm sorry if I'm just pushing myself onto you."

"Even if it were the case - and it isn't, mind you - I wouldn't be upset with you, Fio. You've been through so much, and it was my decision to try and help you any way that I could. Don't think you're imposing, or that I'm wasting time on you. It's as I said before, if I take issue with anything, I will tell you straight away."

"Yeah. I just...worry."

"I appreciate that as well. Did you pick out what you wanted?"

"I went for some variety. Got some striped ones, and some plain ones, and a pair with lace at the top, see?"

"Very nice. You have a good enough eye for this sort of thing. Maybe I should bring you to Tanzaku Quarter and turn you loose in some of the shops there."

"That sounds nice. I've heard stories about that place," she says as we walk to the counter with our purchases. The cashier rings up our items quickly, folds them neatly, and puts them into fancy paper bags.

"Thanks for shopping with us, and take care."

"Thank you. Take care," I say. As we start to leave, something catches my eye.

"Lili? Seriously, are you okay?"

"There's nothing wrong this time, really. I just saw something that might work for you...come on, let's see if it actually holds up outside of an idea."

"What did you call this, again? Go...thick?"

"Gothic fashion. Well, sort of. I borrowed it from there, but the main idea is to make you look mysterious."

"Hmm..." Fio looks down at herself as we leave the store. An opened black sweater with a black shirt underneath, and black shorts supported by netted stockings and black boots. The final touch is the choker with silver studs around her neck.

"This way you're not getting so much attention just for looking out of place. You look very chic right now."

"You think so? I like it and stuff, but you know how my taste's out of order after all this time."

"Oh, hush. You look lovely."

"Where'd you get the idea?"

"I caught a glimpse of something on the shelf, and then I thought of Erika."

"Oh, you talked about her before! So this is the type of stuff she's into, then...neat."

"The contrast of the dark tones against your pale skin really work. For now, at least. I think that with a proper diet, we can have you looking bright and healthy again. You've already managed to hold onto the weight you gained from the last time, and you don't look nearly as pale as before. We're making progress," I say with a smile. "And obviously you don't need to be very pale to work with what you have on now, so it's a good future investment."

"You've gotta be from another planet..."

"What? What's brought this on?" I ask.

"You're seriously amazing, Lili. I mean, you know just what to do and say at the best times. It's so crazy, in a good way!"

"It's only-"

"And stop playing down the stuff you do, seriously!"

"It's honestly not that amazing. I'm just making good observations, that's all."

"So often? That's more than most people, and you know it." She sighs. "I want to do something for you, in return for all of this. Can I tell you a story?"

"A story? What kind?"

"About myself. Where I came from and how I got here."

"It must be difficult."

"It is. But it's something that I want to share with you."

We find ourselves sitting on a wooden bench after a few minutes. Fio puts her hands in her lap and gathers herself, taking deep breaths in and out. I wonder if it's too much, but she's determined to tell me her story. What I can do, at least, is catch her if she does end up stumbling.

Slowly, she raises her head and starts to speak.

She was born Fionne Mutou. A plump and feisty child. Her parents are Ayumu and Ayame Mutou, fifth generation residents of the Hidden Rock Village. Neither were shinobi and had jobs in public service - the family was as normal and average as they could be.

Ayumu, the father, was on the thin side and of average height. His black hair was always kept short and neat, first on account of his sensibilities, and then on account of his office management work. Ayame, the mother, was around the same height and just barely overweight, though she managed herself with daily exercise. It was there that Fionne would tag on and gain a love of physical activity. Ayame's hair was long, light brown, and straight. Much like her husband, she rarely did anything to stand out.

Every member of the family worked at their own pace. Fionne had an easy childhood, doing well in her studies and displaying her athletic ability often. She was bullied by some children for her plump figure, but kept busy with friends during her time at public school. It was by chance that she became a shinobi, after a dazzling athletics festival display that got the attention of a few higher ups in the village. They approached her with the opportunity, and seeing it as a new challenge, she eagerly discussed it with her parents. They eventually agreed and gave their consent for their daughter to transfer into the village's Shinobi Academy. Fionne continued to grow, studying as she always had and learning new types of techniques quickly. She earned the favour of her instructors and made new friends.

It was one particular day that a shocking discovery was made. Fionne possessed something called a 'bloodline limit', a strength passed down through families by blood and that blossomed most prominently in those who called themselves shinobi. It had been two or so generations that had passed in the Mutou family since anyone had taken part in the shinobi arts, and nobody knew for sure where this power could have come from because of the passage of time and lost history. But Fionne was in possession of this potentially great power, which had a name: Boil Release, a rare ability that allowed one to generate steam by heating up their chakra to a boiling point. Even more than the attention of her instructors and the Tsuchikage, at nine years of age she was personally approached by the jinchuuriki of the Five Tails, known as Han. He would wander into the village on rare occasions, and after hearing about someone who carried the same abilities as he did, this became one such occasion. He offered mentorship, which Fionne immediately accepted.

For two years, they established a cycle. Han would find himself in the village for a short time, teach Fionne what she needed to know, and then leave. She would work on what he had left her while progressing through her classes, eventually graduating when she was ten years old. She continued on her path, with the support of her parents. She lived a normal, reasonable life for a talented kunoichi. And then she found herself investigating a strange incident a year later, when she was just eleven.

Many of her comrades in the Hidden Rock had been injured and killed at an alarming rate, in what seemed to be solely close quarters combat. The nature of the murderous weapons was impossible to discern. Eventually, the time came for Fionne to head out into the field on difficult missions. It was an uneasy time to be sure, but with her talents and a replica of Han's famous Steam Armour, she went out with confidence, ready to protect her fellow soldiers. Her terrific strength with the help of her bloodline limit would be an invaluable asset.

But this opponent was too much to handle.

It was a young man who could make bones explode from his body at will, and turn them into diamond-hard tools of destruction. The effort, the training, the special gifts she had...they all were useless in the face of this sort of terror. He crushed her and made her world go black. Fionne next awoke inside of a dark area, and saw a pale, unfamiliar face in front of her.

For the next two years, she became an experiment. A plaything in the hands of the snake Sannin, Orochimaru.

She was used in dangerous trials, her body torn apart and restored forcefully and painfully. Blood was taken from her until she couldn't remember where she was or what she was doing. The building blocks of her body, the chemicals that held her together...were toyed with until it was unrecognizable. Her brown eyes had their colour stolen from them. Her hair changed until it looked as if it were bleached white. She cried out as her body was sapped of its strength, week after week after week. At nights, she would cry and sob in her cell until she couldn't find the energy to do it anymore. She thought of her parents, of her teachers and friends. Surely someone would find her and take her away from that hell.

Eventually, she would think on how good death would feel. It would take her away from the pain and constant torture.

To make herself numb to everything, she gave up hope and gave into the snake man's demands. Every day, she would practice her techniques, expending chakra until her body would stop responding and she had to be dragged back to her bed. She woke up in the mornings, mumbling small prayers until the words filtered through with no sound to them, and no further meaning. She watched fights to the death, and took part in them, moving like a machine with no purpose other than survival. Her mind had numbed from the carnage. It continued until Orochimaru pulled her away from the depravity for what he thought would be a fascinating series of experiments. Fionne was eventually turned into a strange being, an existence of steam that could barely hold herself together no matter what she tried. She struggled, and struggled, and struggled, until Orochimaru decided he would forcefully stabilize her.

He was bored. Disappointed. This girl was just another unfortunate failure, one of many before and that would come afterwards. Fionne was shoved into the depths of Orochimaru's stronghold in the Hidden Sound, left to rot away like garbage.

And then, whether it was luck or providence, she was not detected when the base was torn apart by the Hidden Leaf. Something inside of her mind stirred her to action. She knew that she still wanted to live. And so she gathered herself and escaped in the midst of the chaos. She ran into the forests of Fire Country and never looked back.

"Maybe it was fated," she says as she finishes.

"It's possible. You really could have died in that attack, but you didn't. You must have been meant for something more." I pause, trying to absorb everything she's told me. It's just so much, and I don't know what exactly to say. I don't know if I should say much of anything.

"You seemed to recognize that person I was speaking of earlier."

"Kimimaro Kaguya," I say. "It's certainly a twist of fate, that we both ended up fighting him..."

"You...fought him?" she asks, eyes widening. "Really?"

"I did, yes. It was on that mission that I can't tell you too much about. But I fought him and won."

"Ah...I'm jealous. I'm really, really jealous of you. Someone that strong, and you beat him..."

"If I fought him at your age, I doubt I would have fared well."

"Yeah, well...I doubt your doubting. You beat him and a creepy snake guy and 40 bandits."

"Thirty-nine."

"Shaddap."

"Yes, ma'am."

She lets out a frustrated sigh. "I can't even measure up to you."

"Why do you think you need to?"

"Because I have to be a better woman and all. You understand exactly what I mean."

I close my eyes. "Don't go chasing too hard. You'll hurt yourself."

"Yeah, I know...I know."

"How do you think...you managed to stand up again, after such a painful past?" I ask. "That would have brought anyone to ruin, but you're here right now."

"The same way you did, I think."

"So you would become a weapon as well."

"Gladly."

"You don't have anything to worry about, Fio. As you are now...you would make a splendid wife."

She brushes back some of her hair and stares into the distance. "I think I want to be yours, most of all."

I smile. "We'll see about that. You're very aggressive."

"I don't have any other ideas for courting you. Like I told you before, I'm not very smart."

Maybe we are perfect for each other. She has the same self-depreciating attitude as I do.

"You shouldn't think like that."

"Speak for yourself."

Tch...she has me there. I'll let that one go. "Let's go soak in the springs today."

"That sounds good. Lili?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for listening to my story. It's a difficult thing, and I know you must have been searching for something to say in response. I just want you to know that this is more than enough. I'm grateful to you."

"You're welcome, Fio."

"Yeah. Let's go put this stuff away for now, then."

We gather our things and head back to the resort proper.