Scarlet Justice - ep. 98
"Ventures"
The apartment is quiet, as it would be with only one occupant. I keep to my chores and eat as properly as I can. I really do miss Luna in these times, but I want her to recover and rest for a long while. Emi has put her on leave, and I will not go against her wishes. It's also just a case of me being stubborn, as I could get anyone I wanted to cook for me if I just asked. I simply don't feel like bothering them with things that are so trivial. What I have here is more than enough for now.
"Mm. This works for tonight's dinner." I pull my precious curly fries out of the oven and bask in the delicious aroma for a while. Ah, heavenly. The salmon has already been cooked, and so I am ready. I've received some mail today that needs to be read. That can be done at the kitchen table.
"The usual junk...Luna has already taken care of this, so I don't need it...already paid all of these. At least the postmaster is kept busy. No wonder Midori-nee got rid of this junk in her world." I shake my head before sitting down to eat. Ah, there's something...
"Another postcard."
It's from Fio. She sends these frequently, at least once every two weeks. There's never a return address, but the cards are usually from a tourist location so I can figure out where she is on the continent. This one is from last week, which is a reasonable time frame. She's still in Lightning Country. Her goal was to scale ten different cliffs before the month was through, and she did so. There's a picture attached of her celebrating the new year at a festival. And of course, there's another cheeky message.
"Hi, Lili! I miss you tons, like always. Finished scaling those big cliffs out in the wilderness, total rush and all that. Also, it's more work towards those legs you like so much. I've been eating pretty well, still not much meat on my bones, though. I think that will come in time. I'm sure you're annoying the heck out of everyone within a mile of you, so try to be nicer, yeah? Otherwise you're gonna have to deal with me! I'll always be thinking of you, Lili...I love you so much, and I always will. Take care of yourself, and remember to eat your veggies!
~ Fio."
"What a silly child she is..." I sigh. "I know that I miss her more than she does me."
The days of playing games in front of the television until I fell asleep...reading manga and light novels...lying on the couch from day until night, munching on snacks. Good times. But that cannot be the entirety of this time away from work. I want to go outside. Somewhere...far away. What would be a good excuse?
I ponder that while finishing my meal. After washing and drying everything properly, I go to my room and search through my documents. Something has been nagging at me for a while. Something that...I needed to do. What was it?
"Something to do with Fio...oh. Oh my goodness, I nearly forgot in all of this chaos. I commissioned that item for her, didn't I? It's well past the time to pick it up. Hopefully he isn't too annoyed with me by now." If Fio is still in Lightning Country, which she should be, then I can pass by and pick that up for her. Hot Water Country is on the way there. It's perfect, really. I couldn't have planned it out better. There's every chance that she's not where I think she is, but...I could use the exercise. I'm going to take this opportunity to see her. And...I'll tell her about that incident myself.
"To the Hidden Cloud village, via Hot Water Country. Sounds good," I say with a nod. "I can pack a few things, and see about my authorization tomorrow."
This will be good. A long journey alone to clear my head, and perhaps see my beloved at the end of it all. Okay, the phone call.
"Special Aide Imari Hyuuga speaking. How may I help you today?"
"Good evening, my love. This is Lili Kobayashi."
"Oh, Lili! How are you today? I heard about what happened from Lord Hokage..."
"I am fine today, thank you for asking."
"Good. And I want you to know that senpai and I don't think anything bad about you. You did what you had to do."
"Thank you, Imari."
"It's no trouble. Now, what can I do for you today?"
"I would like clearance for a trip outside of the village. There's a certain item that I have to personally inspect, and truthfully, I can't stand being stuck in the village forever."
"That only makes sense. I'll take care of that for you. Please give me the relevant details, in order."
"Yes. Lilith Caroline Kobayashi, 012599. Captain, Clearance Level A. 04-20."
"Thank you very much. That...should do it. I'll handle the physical paperwork, you can relax and make your way out by tomorrow if you so desire."
"I think I will do exactly that. Thank you, Imari. How has work been, by the by?"
"Not too bad, actually. Senpai's showing me the ropes, and I'm picking up on the details faster than I thought I would. All the encouragement doesn't hurt," she says with a laugh. "I'm getting there, day by day."
"That's lovely to hear."
"Your faith in me is definitely being rewarded. I'll continue to work hard."
"I know you will. Take care, Imari."
"I will. You do the same, Lili."
"Promise. Until the next." I hang up and clap my hands together. "Very good. I get to leave tomorrow...we can start packing in earnest now, then."
"The old man sent me over here to do a health check."
It's now the next morning, and I've been up since dawn making sure the apartment is clean and everything is secured properly. I made several phone calls to my loved ones, informing them of my intentions and assuring them that I will be fine on my journey alone. Tsunade has come by to do a quick physical evaluation, which she performs by looking me over and putting her hand on my head.
"Hm. Nothing off that I can see from here. You should be good to go."
"Thank you."
"Yeah. Just remember to take deep breaths if those nightmares come back, alright?"
"One of the reasons I've been looking forward to this trip...I want to confront those parts of me properly. I know that I won't forget what happened, but I can try to move past it, at least."
She nods. "Good. I'll see you later, then." Tsunade pats my back gently before leaving. I gather my equipment one last time: the backpack filled with my essentials, clothing, and small meals. My tools, which will be properly on my person. Some compact survival items. I'll also have my armband on me, just in case anything comes up. Technically I'm still on leave, but I'm still a member of the Leaf. Any misunderstandings should be cleared up quickly. As for my outfit, I've decided on the one that I was wearing while chasing after Sasuke. It will be warm and durable enough. Actually, I should make that order for the sweater in alternate colours...dressing in all black so often might be a little too chunni, even for me. But the aesthetic is nice, so...
"Sweater, check...shorts and socks, check. Shower is done, and my hair is fine...finally ready." I nod to my reflection before making sure my window is secure one last time, then I lock the door behind me. One last glance at my home, and then I step through the front door and secure it. A simple set of paper seals will be able to tell me if anyone has paid an unscheduled visit. I put a note on my front door, which contains leads to a certain mailbox that contains the actual away note for those who have access. Everything is in order.
"Goodbye for now, Hidden Leaf."
I reach the front gates and take a deep breath before passing through them. Nothing on my mind now but reaching my first destination. My feet take me down the road, and before I know it, I am inside the forest. I jump towards the first branch I see and leap into the air, slowly falling towards another in the distance.
I have the world to myself for now. It's time to make the most of it.
A day passes as I run. I had forgotten how much speed I put on in the past few months; this sort of light running allowed me to cover quite a distance already. I suppose the next battle will be exciting for that reason alone, whenever it might be. I rest for a few hours before taking off again, reaching one of the main roads and running along the shoulder. A rest stop comes into view and I slow down to have a look. There's a farmer transporting milk by wagon.
"Really? I'd sure appreciate if you looked out for me and my cargo a while. You guys from the Leaf do a good job, so there aren't too many robbers around, but extra protection is always nice. Hop in the back and let me know when you want off."
I get a few treats for the child pulling the wagon, and she's appreciative. As soon as I get properly seated within the wagon, we head off. I can feel the wind going through my hair, colours starting to blur slightly as we pass buildings from time to time. There are waves of rolling grass, some flowing into golden fields of wheat, others grazed by leisurely moving cattle.
It's easy to forget that we're still in winter. Obviously it's not the same everywhere, but this is my first real look at Fire Country in this time of year. Last year was devoted to getting acquainted to the Hidden Leaf and how everything worked. The feeling...it's like a cool spring, with no snow or ice as far as the eye can see. I close my eyes and let the sensations of nature filter through my body. A very pleasant experience. I really should do more things like this when I have time off. Being connected to the world like this might be what truly completes me in the end.
My friendly farmer announces that he is turning east, and I take it as my cue to continue on my own way. I bid him and his lovely child farewell with small gifts, then continue north along the paved road at an even pace. I should reach Hot Water Country in good time...but I could also make a detour west, to a familiar place. Ah, perhaps another time. I'm not terribly far from my destination at this point, so I might as well continue. Night falls, and the border comes into view. A growl comes up from my stomach.
"Right...I haven't eaten anything hearty in a while, have I? I should slow down and have a proper meal."
I search for a good spot to rest, moving carefully through the trees. Something favourable does come up - a nice, flat location next to a moving stream. Perfect. I carve out a shallow fire pit a good distance away, then venture back towards the tree line to find appropriate timber. Some good application of lightning chakra and a kunai help me cut through some wood in short order, and I start up a fire easily.
"Good. That should do. Now...for meat. Venison tonight, and fish for the road later? Hm...that should do nicely. Time to hunt."
I make sure my things are secure, hanging my bag in a nearby tree before venturing back into the forest. Fortunately, there's a deer nearby and I use Mobius for a certain kill, ending its life immediately. I butcher it on the spot, like I remember Luna showing me one day, and then carry the pieces back to my camp. The fish aren't terribly hard to catch with my reflexes, as I take my socks off and wade into the cold water. Three should do, since they're of a good size.
"Now to clean. Let's see how much I remember..."
I take the packets of herbs from my backpack and rub them into the meat I've prepared. The deer is roasted over the open fire, while the fish will be smoked once I have the fire die down. I believe doing that should help with preservation. In any case, it shouldn't be too long before I get to eating them on my journey. I've crafted a crude sort of box for this purpose, and it sits ready as I cook the pieces of deer. The smell is already making my mouth water. I can't wait to eat.
"And...finally done. Now to start with the fish...then we'll eat."
Naruto would give me grief if he saw this scene: a pile of cooked meat, and not a vegetable in sight. I say a short prayer and take off my sweater before finally digging in. The meat tastes even better than it smells. Only a tiny bit on the tough side, but nothing to complain about in these conditions. I eat as much as I can, enjoying a bottle of fortified milk that has been kept cold in my backpack at the same time. The remaining pieces are cut up a bit further and sealed away - perhaps they could be used for sandwiches when I get my hands on some bread in town.
"Ah, that was good." I pat my full stomach and sigh happily. The fish should be done smoking in a few hours, which is more than enough time to get some sleep. I wash up in the stream, find my thin sleeping bag, and inflate it with two measured puffs of air. One more look at the fish, camp is cleaned up, and I shed some more clothing so that I don't overheat in my sleeping bag. I think I'm ready now. I reach out into the forest with my senses, and can't detect anything of note. If anything, there are a few traps to alert me to unwelcome visitors.
I zip up my sleeping bag and shuffle around a bit to get comfortable...and finally feel myself drifting off to sleep.
It's...dark. I can feel the tension in the air. I know this place...I have been here before. One too many times.
This is the same nightmare that has been playing inside of my head, over and over, for the past few weeks.
There is a man standing in front of me. My father. And my body is...I'm losing control of it by the second. I can feel myself slipping away. There are hateful, murderous urges inside of my head. They swirl and swirl, threatening to take over. But I feel like...maybe I can win. Maybe I can beat this. I keep thinking that...
And then my father appears from another angle. And another. And another. And another, and another, and another. So many copies, too many of them. They keep speaking, saying the most hateful things. My body fills with rage and pain, and I can't stop those emotions from taking over.
I snap.
I reach for the first one I see, and he looks at me like I'm nothing, even as I crush his throat. I plunge my hand through the chest of another, and he smugly looks at me while falling to the surface of this unforgiving void. A kunai appears in my hand and I tear through more of them, killing, slaughtering, even as more keep appearing. The blood continues to flow, endlessly. My rage does not subside. I feel nauseous. I don't want this. I want it to stop. It has to stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop...please, stop it...
And in the madness, I can...hear myself laughing. I know that I've lost control. I know that...that I...
My eyes snap open.
"..."
It's still dark out. Dawn has yet to arrive.
My heart is beating fast, and I'm covered in a cold sweat. It's difficult to breathe for a while. I...I feel so filthy. So dirty and shameful. I keep having those...those sorts of visions, over and over. Is what I truly wanted the opportunity to...ruin him? To take his life and enjoy the sensation of it? It's such a mess inside of my head right now, even though I've come so far. These nightmares are certain to continue for a while. All I can really do is endure. I don't know if anyone can really help, or if this is something that a human being can fix. I don't think it is...
Remembering what Tsunade said, I take several deep breaths in and out. I feel a bit calmer as a result, and can function properly. It feels unbearably warm and I'm already sweating a bit, so I get out of my sleeping bag and properly deflate it. I take off the rest of my clothing and set it down before wading into the stream, splashing the ice cold water over myself. Any remnants of drowsiness have surely left by now, and I wasn't planning on going back to sleep anyways.
"I really am a mess..."
I sigh and step out of the water, going to find one of my towels so I can dry myself off a bit. The moon is a bright crescent in the sky as I glance upwards, feeling the morning chill sink into my skin. The fire is restarted, and I take the time to check on the fish. They look fine enough, but I can leave them where they are a while longer. Right now, I just...need to escape into nothingness.
The fire's warmth helps me dry as I sit near it, and I stare into the waving flames while occasionally poking at the embers with a stick. I feel a bit better...not having to think about anything important for a while. A small respite from those terrible nightmares, that's all I could ask for...
Dawn eventually does come, and I prepare to leave my small refuge. I take the fish and wrap them up neatly before dismantling the box I used. I put out the fire properly and make sure any significant traces of my presence have disappeared. When everything is done, I get myself dressed and leave my small refuge at last.
Another trip up a main road heading north. There's another traveller passing by with a horse and covered wagon, and he offers a ride, across the border at last to Hot Water Country. We don't talk very much but he seems relaxed with my presence. As his stomach rumbles, without a second thought I offer my venison from the previous night. He's quite appreciative, and it's far from a big loss since I still have those fish to eat later on.
In a happy coincidence, his delivery will take us straight to the place I was aiming for: the Village Hidden in Hot Water. What I remember of that man, Hidan...he had the headband with this village's symbol on it, a slash going across it to indicate that he was a missing-nin. Kakuzu was from another minor village, the Hidden Waterfall. I wonder what that place is like.
"Here we are. Thanks a lot for the food, it was delicious."
I nod and give him a small donation, which he starts to protest before I shut him down with a firm look. He sighs and praises me entirely too much for my liking before heading out. Immediately, I can see that this shinobi village is much different from any other. Quite a bit of fanfare on the streets, and tourist traps abound. The layout of the streets and shops, the signage...catering to tourists. Shinobi are on patrol and visible in their maroon outfits. A hidden village doubling as a resort town...hm. Could this be a possible future for the shinobi world? Something to think about.
An abundance of steam comes from the many hot springs dotting the area. As a result, there are quite a few inns and hotels in proximity of each other.
"Mm. Perhaps I should rest a while. Right now, I think I should complete my errand before it gets too late."
I shoulder my backpack and head into the heart of the village.