Scarlet Justice - ep. 101
"Asagao"

The same nightmare as always. Those bodies...keep falling around me, piling up and leaking blood. I erase copy after copy of my father with my bare hands. I'm tired. I want to stop this. I want to go home. But my body won't stop moving, and this anger won't subside.

I want to move forward. I want to...change. For the people that I love, and for myself.

Suddenly, I see something coming towards me in the distance. It's a wave of water, towering high above me and everything else. It crashes down on my head and washes everything away...the blood, the filth, the endless corpses. I feel myself floating freely, being cleansed as everything becomes still.

"Lili."

The water slowly flows around me and disappears. I look up and watch a woman with red hair start to float down towards me. I...know this person, don't I?

"You are...?"

She holds me in her arms and strokes my head.

"It's alright. You don't have to worry any more, okay? I wish...I could have done more for you."

"Momma...?"

"Yes. It's me...I wanted to give you this moment of peace. This reminder...do you remember?"

"Lili...you are not alone."

The next morning comes, and I yawn before getting up. Fio and I have checked into a hotel to stay a while, and last night we had a hearty dinner. The extra calories are welcome at this point...but then, I don't even laze around enough to worry about that. I wonder how much it would take on my part to even get a little plump. I get into the shower and take care of my face and hair after about a week of laziness. Proper tooth brushing, with a good length gargle to clear my throat. And finally, a proper brushing of my hair along with essential oils added in.

Through my haze I remember that Fio wasn't in bed with me as I got up. She used the shower before me...I wonder where she might be. Breakfast, perhaps? Hm.

"I need a coffee. If she's down there I should follow her lead."

The weather is definitely a bit cooler in the Cloud, but it's not that bad. I replace my towel with a bathrobe and some slippers before starting my search for Fio. Something out of place catches my eye - the unlocked sliding door that leads to the balcony. So she's out there, then.

"Good morning."

"Hey."

She's slumped over the balcony railing as I reach her.

"You know anyone who smokes?" Fio asks.

"The Hokage, and his son among others. Why? Are you interested in that sort of activity?"

"I hung around some folks who smoked...not tobacco, though. Something else that they said was relaxing and junk. You know what I'm talking about."

"Yes."

"I might try that out one day, when I'm a little older. Just to see what it's like. Stave off boredom. Things like that."

"Mm. I see. Is that what you're struggling with now?" I ask as I stand beside her, my back against the railing.

"Nothing like that. Just...thinking. Maybe too hard about some things."

"Did you want to tell me about your adventures since leaving Fire Country? You did mention working on several things and keeping yourself occupied."

"I did, yeah. I, uh...went home the other day," Fio starts. "It wasn't one of the first things I did, but...you know how it goes. Or maybe you don't, so I should explain. I picked up an odd job while moving around, and they had a shipment of fruit out to the Hidden Rock. So I got myself attached to it. Short thing, payment as soon as the delivery was done. Then I was free of the little contract and could do what I wanted. So I did that. Ended up in the village with no issue. Found myself with some extra cash and some time. So...I stuck around. Home was right where I left it after some looking. Didn't make myself too conspicuous. Took my time and decided to make a visit a few days later."

She pauses a while.

"Someone I didn't know answered the door. And...they were the new owners. We had tea, they were pretty nice." Fio lifts herself from the railing and places her hands on it. Her eyes stare at the mountains in the distance. "Said my dad offered them the house at a decent price."

"Oh...your parents, they...?"

"They moved. I guessed that what happened to me screwed them up real bad, probably couldn't stand living in the house anymore. But...it was a little more than that. I went over to try and be normal again, but things weren't like that. Which was...I guess unsettling at the time. I did a little detective work, asked around...figured out where they were staying and happened to catch my dad coming home from work, same time as always. So I stopped him and we had a conversation. I didn't drop everything onto him at once, you know?"

"That makes sense. So what ended up happening afterwards?"

"We had tea with Mom, in their new and smaller house, not too far away from the old one. She was...a lot thinner, to be sure. I was sorta worried, but she said that she was fine. It was nice for a while. And...then I told them what was happening. I explained who I was and why I was there, sitting in front of them. I recited everything that I knew, told them things that only I could have known as their daughter. I could...see it. That spark of recognition in their eyes. That understanding. I was suddenly there in front of them again."

"That's wonderful to hear, Fio. I know it must have been a shock to them, but...for you to finally come home, it must have been the greatest thing in the world," I say.

"Yeah. It would seem that way, for sure."

I freeze at those words. "Fio...? What does that mean?"

"My dad...my father. He told me a story," she says as she moves away from the railing. "About their daughter. Her name was Fionne Mutou. She was eleven years old, a prodigious kunoichi that had a proud mother and father. He told me about how there was a search for a few months that was called off because investigators found evidence that she had likely died. All of the evidence added up. He told me that for that entire year, they fought and fought and fought until the evidence was too heavy to ignore...and they eventually accepted that Fionne was dead. She was never coming back. He showed me the memorial. The pictures of that black-haired little girl with so much potential."

"Why...would they show that to you?" I ask uneasily.

"To make a point. To tell me that they had given up, and that I was truly gone. That their daughter had died a long time ago, and the person speaking to them wasn't her. Everything about me didn't fit, didn't make sense. Both of them, my parents...they were in pain trying to process the idea that I was their daughter, that I wasn't dead after all. But it had gone so deep in their heads that..."

"Fio, you-"

"And you know what? I...I understood them. I could see their thoughts, and I could understand them. I understood why. I saw it. Just...how this couldn't simply be. How things couldn't turn out this way. They didn't..." She shakes her head. "They didn't think I was real. I wasn't anything like their daughter. I wasn't...a person in their eyes. I know they wanted to believe, but they couldn't handle it."

"You didn't accept that, did you?" I ask. "After you had come so far, after you did so much...you didn't let them..."

"I wanted to fight. I had the words in my mouth. But I ended up looking at them...I just saw the pain on their faces. They didn't even...touch me. Not once. So that they didn't have to...so that they could just keep believing that I wasn't real. And they kept saying that they were sorry, that I hoped I found my way home...I had to stop myself. I had to accept it. Even if they didn't want me to disappear again...to be left as a memory. I was already dead. It was...over. All I would do is add to their torment."

"They're your parents!" I yell with anger. "They can't just turn away from reality! Even if you weren't real, even if you were just some wandering spirit, they shouldn't have done any of that to you! Rejecting you, throwing you away, denying your existence...you came back to them! No matter what happened in the past, you came back! You endured! How could they do that to you?!"

"They must have thought I was a hallucination, or someone who had mixed up memories. I...don't know," Fio says as she stops moving. "They're human...just regular people, in the end. They could only accept so much..."

"Fio. That's not fair. It's wrong," I say firmly.

"I wonder why it turned out that way. I wonder about their reasons. But...I accept it. I accept that I died a long time ago, as the only daughter of the Mutou family. I accept that they want to move on."

"No...it's not fair. It's not fair!" I say as I shake my head.

"I know. It's not fair. And...it was worse than that. I found out a few days later, after I left...they moved out of the Hidden Rock for good. Now I don't know where they might be. Just packed up, took their memorial and everything...then disappeared."

Tears start to run down her cheeks.

"I...got to see them one last time. Even as they refused to see me as...real. They were as kind as they could be. They gave me a chance to speak, to make my plea. But that wasn't enough. Because of that, I don't have parents. I don't have anyone in this world connected to me by blood. I...just have you, Lili. You're all I have left."

"Fio..." I try to shove down my anger. This...I can't comprehend something like this. It's despicable. Humans...just weak slaves to their needs and limitations. Fio, my Fio, abandoned and rejected by her own parents. Absolutely the worst. "So this was what you meant...when you said that you had come to run away, too."

"Yeah. I started moving around, just trying to escape the sadness. From the past that I...started to regret each day. I cried a lot, you know. I cried so much that I thought I would run out of tears, and then when I did stop, I wondered if my heart would turn to stone or something. Maybe I would never cry again, you know? But...you saved me from that, Lili."

"Did I..."

"Yeah." She smiles and wipes away her tears. "I feel like I can be myself around you. Like I finally belong. It's because of you that I can keep going, and that I want to be a better and stronger person each day. I can talk about myself...I can share my feelings with you. Everything that I've dreamed of in a companion. I know that as long as I get to see you, and talk with you, and laugh with you...everything will be okay. I know it's the truth."

I walk up to her. "You were holding all of this in. The entire time...when you were comforting me, this was swirling inside of you."

"It's alright."

"It's not alright. It's never-"

"You weren't being selfish. Okay? Don't think that. You were in pain," she says. "You were hurting so badly, and I would do anything to see you well again. Whether or not I was dealing with my own baggage. This isn't your fault. And besides...you being here helps me enough. I was able to talk about my problems. I was able to cry without shame. Just like you did...I feel safe with you."

"Fio..." I gently wipe at her cheeks. "Tell me. What will you do next? Where will you go?"

She closes her eyes. "I'm...not entirely sure. I've been thinking about travelling the world. Discovering more of myself, you know? Maybe finding Sensei and training? I...could do a lot of things. The future's opened up, now that...you know. The parents thing."

"Yes. I know now."

"Besides, you had it a lot worse. So it's good that I dropped this on you now, instead of before. You looked so peaceful this morning that I didn't want to wake you up."

"I see."

"What kind of dream did you have?" she asks.

"I saw my Momma. She ended the nightmare...she made me feel like myself again. When you held me yesterday, I heard her voice."

"You're not alone," Fio says.

"Yes. Exactly that. Did...you hear it, too?"

"I...mm. I more like, felt it? If that makes sense?"

"It does, perfectly so." I smile. "If it's like that, it means that she approves of you."

"Yeah?" Fio perks up and smiles. "That means I have a leg up on the competition! I like it!"

"Oh, sheesh!"

"Momma Caroline, thanks!" she shouts into the air.

"You really are silly, Fio."

"And hungry! I was too busy being all depressed before, so I was ignoring my tummy. Now though, I want a nice big breakfast."

"Of course. We'll eat soon enough. Before that...I want to do something for you, my love."

"What is it?"

I gently pull her into me, stroking her hair. "Just...a simple thing like this. I want to give you my warmth, and remind you of the same things that you reminded me of. That everything will be okay...and that you will never be alone."

"..." She puts her arms around me. "I won't forget."

"Neither of us will. As sure as the sun shines, I know that to be the truth."

Breakfast is a quiet affair. Ever since Fio shared her pain with me, I have been thinking heavily. Fortunately, she's a bit busy stuffing her face at the moment, so she has little time to worry about my studious look.

My thoughts...they reach back to the first days of the Academy. The place where I became a shinobi. When Hina and I first met, I remember what happened between us. I made that conscious decision to sacrifice, to give up my chance to shine brighter than everyone else on my own so that she could succeed along with me. All this after I was singled out and bullied by the other students. And from there...there were so many other times where I put others before myself. No matter the circumstance, no matter the pain that I had to take on. It is with this understanding that I weigh every option in front of me.

"..."

Home would be in the back of Fio's mind. Her first home. The family that she once knew and loved. Even as I am...I can still do something for her. I can still find the strength within myself to be of service to her. Because I love her, because she is a wonderful soul, and because it is the right thing to do.

Home. Belonging. A place to come back to. Those things that she's been deprived of in the past while. She's so strong and capable that she could survive in any way that she chose. Travelling this world of ours, just to properly clear her head. Finding her old master and possibly resuming her training, becoming strong enough to take on anyone she chose. And the Hidden Cloud has plenty of work, even the surrounding area outside of the village is a good place for mercenaries to make a living. So many paths. So many places she could go. I would support her, no matter what she chose.

We check out of the hotel after finishing our meal. Fio gives her compliments to the petrified chef, who can't believe she's eaten about half of his kitchen. Nothing of hers to pick up, and she's been making enough money on her journey. She finds her way from place to place by various means, like I did on my way to this village. The entrance to the Hidden Cloud comes into view.

"..."

I am a selfish person. Today...I will use that selfishness for the sake of a loved one. Someone who deserves everything that I have to offer, and more besides.

"Oh, hey. We're leaving already? Got somewhere in mind, Lili?" Fio asks as we pass through the village's main entrance.

"Yes, we are. And I do have a destination for us both. I have something I want to tell you, and it will be a short while."

"Okay. Lead on, then."

We continue our walk, going through the nearby mountain pass and ascending one of the peaks. It gives us a good view of the Hidden Cloud from afar.

"So. Where are we headed?" Fio asks, hands on her hips.

"Fio. Do you see the place ahead of you?"

"Yeah. That's the Hidden Cloud Village."

"What is that place like? Could it be...a home for someone?"

"A home for a lot of people, yeah. Decent place to live, I think. Different, but..."

"It's a place where people can belong. They simply have to meet those requirements first."

"Yep."

"There are places...homes...that accept people without condition. These homes are special, and precious above all else to those who stay within them. The Hidden Cloud is not such a place. But one does exist. One that is closer to you that you realize."

"Huh. I see," she says as she scratches her cheek.

"Fio. Please look at me."

She turns and looks into my eyes.

"I want you to understand...and remember these words. Keep them within your spirit for as long as you live."

"Lili?"

Time and time again...I have risen above myself, to become a place of refuge for those who thought themselves lost. And this time will be no different.

"You will find your rest in me. I will be your home, from now until time comes to an end."

Her hands drop to her sides as she looks at me, stunned more than anything.

"I...do you mean...that?"

"With all of my heart. I mean it. Your home is with me. And no one else."

"Having...a home again. Being able to make one with you, someone so wonderful...hehe." She smiles and sheds happy tears. "It's all too much...you really pull out all the stops, don't you?"

"Give me your answer...I want to hear it from your lips, Fio." I spread my arms wide. "Will you come home to me?"

"Yes. A thousand times, yes. My home is with you, and nobody else."

She runs to me, jumping into my chest and wrapping her arms tightly around me. I hold her close, stroking her head gently as we slowly turn and turn together.

"You are, and always will be my treasure," I whisper to her. "I love you, forever and always."

"Thank you...so much."

"Welcome home, Fio. I will be your shelter from now on."