Scarlet Justice: Full Blossom – ep. 53
"Heavy Filter"
[Glass Hearts, Part 2]

For the first time in a few days, my sleep is decent.

I still wake up to those intrusive thoughts, memories from long ago that I had suppressed over and over until they were neatly buried, along with any happiness I felt. I remembered my mother in bright fragments, trying desperately to hold onto them before they inevitably slipped through my fingers and into the darkness.

Sozen's wretched face comes into my mind, as I switch places with Aiko and watch the hands on the clock move. Frozen in place, helpless to do anything but chew on tasteless sustenance as time wound down. The distance from the door would be forcibly shortened with each passing second. All we could do was press our hands together and pray that there was a protector on the other side of the door. But the violent shaking of the handle as that time came always filled us with fear. It made us desperately plead within ourselves for it to come to a stop. But it never did in the end. The door would open, and we would be left standing in the monster's shadow. An overwhelming smell of alcohol, enough to make us choke.

All we could do, all we could ever do in those moments was hope that it would be over quickly. It didn't have to be physical. Just the yelling and screaming was enough. The knowledge that he didn't actually care, that it would happen again and again and again...that was terror in itself. Knowing that you were weak and powerless, and moments away from just disappearing completely...

"..."

I turn my head to face Sozen as he comes through the trees once more. Looking at him makes me heavy and tired. I hate him for what he did to Aiko, and I always will. I don't care about being a good or merciful person. This cuts too deeply for me to forgive.

"You chose to return after the events of the previous day. Brave of you," I say with little energy. "You chose not to run away after all. Then I will give you what you've asked for...a chance to argue your case before me."

"Are...are you alright?" he asks.

"The very last thing I need is your pity, worm. If you don't want to take the opportunity given to you, then you can leave."

"N-no, I just..."

"I don't fucking care. Don't you ever try and get familiar with me. You have until the end of the day to explain why I should even consider letting you within a hundred miles of Aiko. And if you don't give me a satisfactory answer, I'll change my mind and take your life right here."

"I...I don't want us to fight."

"Why? Because you think your Sharingan are almighty? Is that why you were afraid of using them? Because you thought you would hurt me? You arrogant fucking worm," I growl.

"No! I didn't mean that, I just...I don't want it to come to that. I'm sorry."

"Save it."

"I...spent a long time going over what I would say to Aiko the next time I saw her. I think that maybe, if you hear it like that..."

"I really don't care what methods you use. Tell your little story. I won't interrupt you," I say.

"O-okay."

I shift over to the opposite end of the log, and motion for him to have a seat across from me. He nods and does so, while I keep my face turned away from his.

"Start when you're ready. And don't bother rushing. I said that you have all day, and I made a promise to hear you out."

"T-thank you."

I say nothing and wait for him to begin.

Sozen's story begins in the Hidden Leaf, and he was born in the brief window of peace between the second and third great shinobi wars that ravaged the continent. He has few memories of his mother, and his father was nothing but an abuser who used his influence and power to torment his family. Sozen had one sibling, an older sister named Ibuki. He describes her as a classical beauty, a young woman with a serene look and polished mannerisms.

Ibuki took the most abuse from her father, doing her best to endure it while trying to gain his favour. But the psychological damage continued to accumulate, turning her into a perfectionist, neurotic and utterly terrified of anything that didn't meet an ever changing set of standards.

"She used to be kind to me. I think that she was trying to protect me from my father. But I could see that it was too much for her, and that she started changing. She was less patient with me as the years went on, and then she started hurting me as well. I know that she did her best to fight it, and to make up for the things she did."

It became worse when Sozen started properly training to be a shinobi, as Uchiha were expected to. He was an extraordinary talent, prodigious. Seemingly at odds with his gentle nature, he was skilled from the start in ninjutsu and even better when it came to genjutsu. The latter he eventually ended up tailoring to his wants, using them to distract and pacify opponents instead of making them view and experience hellish scenes. Ibuki, who was talented in her own right, ended up left in his wake inadvertently. The abuse piled onto her increased dramatically, and enough of it was redirected to Sozen. For years this continued, the pain in their hearts growing with each passing day.

Sozen eventually unlocked the greatest of the Uchiha's bloodline powers: the Mangekyo Sharingan. And shortly thereafter, Ibuki did the same. Their father's abuse towards Sozen slowed, if only slightly. But out of sight, he knew that Ibuki was being subject to horrific things, the beatings being the least of them. Aside from the outbursts when she was abusing Sozen herself, she was cold and lifeless. Sozen agonized over what to do.

"Eventually...I decided that I couldn't stand it any longer. The abuse, the suffering...fighting in the war, watching so many people I knew and cared about dying, having their lives ruined. The clan turning into bloodthirsty tyrants who just wanted to kill and prove themselves to the village, driving themselves down a road of self-destruction. I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to leave. All I could think about was escaping my father's abuse, and Ibuki. I could never hate my sister, but I knew that I had to get away from her, or else she would destroy me like my father was doing to her."

The slow movement during the end of the third great war provided an opportunity. Sozen left under the cover of night, fleeing west towards Wind Country. But what he didn't know was that someone was following him. His older sister, Ibuki. She claimed that she wanted to bring him back home, where he belonged. But as they clashed over and over, Sozen desperately wanting her to give up, her true goal was revealed.

"She was completely broken. At some point, she stopped trying to convince me to come back, and said that I needed to die. It would free her for the first time, and give her renewed strength. I understood a while later what I couldn't at that time. Ibuki knew about the power that came when one sibling took on the Mangekyo Sharingan of another. The Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan, eyes with a light that would never fade. Ultimate power, she said. Power enough to break her chains, and to deliver rightful retribution to the people who tormented her the most, who she said stole away her soul. Our parents, and the Uchiha Clan itself."

They both fled into Wind Country, and soon Sozen knew that he had no choice but to fight Ibuki. His skill edged out hers, but the madness she drew from allowed her to survive blows that would have incapacitated anyone else. Sozen's methods of pacifism stopped working, and he found himself with his back to the wall. He wanted to survive more than anything else...and so he drove forward, and ended up killing the sister he loved so dearly. Sozen won, but was left severely wounded, and collapsed while trying to find a place to recover.

"It seemed luck was on my side that day, in more ways than one."

The battle between Sozen and Ibuki was far from a quiet one. Shinobi in the area reported a disturbance, and a squad arrived to investigate the area where the fighting took place. They were unable to locate Ibuki, but found Sozen lying in the sand, unconscious. And this squad was led by one person in particular: a woman by the name of Pakura Mishoto. Already a rising star in the Sand, she elected to bring Sozen back to the Hidden Sand for recovery and a later interrogation.

"I told them the truth for the most part. They hadn't been able to find my sister, so I could lie about her. I said that I was fighting someone that I didn't recognize as I escaped towards the desert. Pakura and the others believed me, and beyond that, she arranged for things to make my case look more favourable to the village leaders. There was a long period of interrogation, daily for about two months. But eventually, they decided to take me in as a shinobi of the Hidden Sand. Having a member of the Uchiha on their side would be a great advantage to them."

And so it went. Sozen was tethered closely to the Hidden Sand, going on more difficult missions when summoned by the Fourth Kazekage, Rasa. The Sand at that time was reeling from the loss of its strongest Kazekage in history, and Sozen was the type of asset that would help them stay afloat, even if he was originally from the Leaf.

"A lot of my missions brought me in contact with Pakura again. We started getting to know each other, and she was the one who took the lead because I was still nervous about being in the village. Eventually, we started getting more comfortable with each other and meeting up when we had time off. Not many people were fond of me. None of that mattered whenever I got the chance to talk to Pakura. She was so much like me, I thought. A strong person who wanted to use that strength to simply stop people and change their minds instead of just killing them. If she needed to fight, it was to protect her loved ones, and the place that she made home. That resonated with me."

Their bond deepened and they started dating. The Mishoto Clan was bothered by it, but saw nothing to be truly concerned about when it came to the relationship, thinking it would come to an end soon enough. Things changed when Pakura announced her engagement to Sozen. Some members of the village council tacitly encouraged the union for purely pragmatic reasons, hoping for offspring with Uchiha blood so that the village could get its hands on yet another Sharingan. The Mishotos were far less approving, urging Pakura to break off the engagement and upcoming marriage to Sozen. She stood tall against her family and defended Sozen whenever she could, and while her family never truly backed down, they did not do more than protest in the end.

"I have to wonder if they saw something I didn't. All of this happened."

Sozen sniffles before continuing.

A small ceremony took place for Sozen and Pakura's wedding. A few members of the Mishoto Clan appeared in solidarity despite their small annoyances with Sozen, and this would form the core of the group that eventually took Aiko in after Sozen abandoned her. I make a mental note to meet with them at some point, Yusuke especially.

"It was one of the most beautiful moments of my entire life. Even now, it feels like I was inside of a dream. I got to marry Pakura, of all the people in the world. She looked so radiant, so happy. Everything about that moment was so perfect. I felt like I didn't deserve her, in some small space in my heart. But I knew that I was going to work hard and do my best for her, no matter who hated me, or what I had to do. The strongest, bravest woman in the entire world was my wife, and I would not let her down."

Pakura was very much the proactive one in their relationship, and very aggressively made known her desire for children, a brief source of anxiety for Sozen who hadn't dealt much with women in his past. She was fortunately patient with him in that aspect. After a few tries, Pakura became pregnant. She and Sozen were excited to see a symbol of their love come into the world. But this ended in tragedy.

Their first child, named Atsutane, emerged from his mother's womb stillborn.

"Pakura was devastated, to say the very least of it. And I started to think that perhaps I was cursed, or something like that. That maybe the heavens were saying in their own way that our union was wrong. I made the mistake, or maybe the blessing rather, of revealing such thoughts to Pakura. That was our first and only big fight, one sided as it was. She was furious that I would think such a thing. She told me that there was nothing to regret, and that Atsutane's life would only come to nothing if we gave up on our dreams and each other. I've kept that thought in my mind ever since."

Eventually, they both finished grieving and went back to their normal lives. When Pakura gathered her courage again and suggested trying for another child, Sozen tamped down his nerves and did whatever she asked of him. The second pregnancy had its own complications, but mother and child fought every step of the way, with Sozen's love and support backing them. Everything eventually stabilized, and Pakura gave birth to a living, healthy little girl. The proud parents named her Aiko.

"She was just as radiant as her mother. Incredibly beautiful. It took a lot to just not break down and cry, I was so happy to see her. She was everything to me. She...still is."

Sozen and Pakura took turns raising Aiko, switching places when one had to go out on missions, and occasionally leaving Aiko with a trusted member of the Mishotos if a rare time came when they were both absent. Otherwise, they spent many happy mornings and nights together as a family. There was no rush to discover Aiko's latent talents, even with the poking and prodding from Pakura's family. Everything was bright. Everything was perfect between them.

And so, the tragedy that came next would be even more devastating.

Gaara, the youngest son of the Fourth Kazekage. A child saddled with a terrible power, one beyond his comprehension. After years of struggling to find himself, he ended up betrayed by Yashamaru, his guardian and uncle. What no one knew aside from Rasa was that all of it was part of a brutal test. One that Gaara failed so spectacularly, Shukaku took over and started a rampage through the Hidden Sand. Shinobi scrambled as Rasa used his bloodline ability to try and contain the flailing tailed beast, fuelled by anger and hatred.

Sozen was away on a mission. Pakura was in the village, and reluctantly left her daughter to sleep while attending to the emergency. Unknown to everyone, Sasori was lurking in the village. He saw an opportunity to snatch Shukaku away, but unfortunately for him, Pakura noticed his approach. She fought against what must have been impossible odds, eventually losing her life. It bought enough time for Rasa and the other Sand shinobi to stop Shukaku, and with his opportunity gone, Sasori took Pakura's body as consolation. He left a convincing fake behind in a devastated part of the village. It fooled everyone, including the Kazekage.

Sozen received the news about his wife once he got back.

"I couldn't even cry when he told me. I was just devastated. I felt so cold and hollow. The only thing I could think to do was drink until I could no longer feel anything. That was the first night of many, where I drowned myself in alcohol until the pain disappeared."

He kept drinking. And trapped with him in that personal hell was his daughter. Everyone assumed that she was merely depressed because of what happened to her mother, but it was never just that. It was the terror from seeing her drunken father lurch through the door at nights, or break down into a sobbing mess every time he saw something that reminded him of Pakura. The angry, slurred speech, the outbursts that resulted in showers of broken glass and damaged furniture. Sozen stopped cooking, leaving Aiko to subsist on leftovers and cheap, terrible takeout food at home. And she kept making excuses for her suffering, not wanting to lose the only person she had left in the world.

"I can't remember everything I did to her. I don't even know if I truly avoided physically harming her in all of that time. But I remember enough. I remember what a monster I was to her, and how terrified she would always look. And even though I kept making promises to do my best, to make something of myself again, whenever I looked at her I could only see Pakura. It just made me break down over and over again. It was never her fault, but I simply couldn't escape the ghosts inside of my head. I was beyond selfish. I knew that I didn't want to lose my daughter because she was all I had left, but at the same time, I couldn't take care of her properly. I was the abuser this time. I was my father, and my sister. Just a drunken beast. And everyone let me get away with it."

Sozen was functional enough on missions, which is how he could continue to afford his home and the copious amounts of alcohol he drank. Outside of them, he was nothing but an empty shell. Rasa, fed up with the continued failure of his son, saw an opportunity to make multiple corrections at once. He called a listless Sozen into his office and offered him a mission.

"He asked me to kill Gaara. He offered me revenge. As far as we both knew, Pakura had died because of him. I only saw Gaara as a tool in that moment, a container for the beast. I started to think that once I killed him, I could avenge Pakura and get my life back. So I accepted the mission, and prepared. Aiko was still just a painful afterthought to me, even sober. I reasoned that I could make things up to her later, after I got my revenge, after I finally exorcised the demon that took over my life. I went out and reached Gaara in the dead of night. I went through what I thought was a pathetic barrier of sand, because he was too slow to keep up with me. And I had the blade over his heart..."

I hear him stop to catch his breath.

"And when I saw his eyes, I...saw Aiko looking back at me. Terrified. I snapped out of my trance and realized what I was about to do. I was about to murder a child. Someone who didn't do anything wrong on his own, someone who was given a terrible curse that he never asked for. I couldn't do anything but let him push me away. I left him there in his room, and started to wander the village, completely lost. I questioned everything. I didn't know who I was or what I was becoming. And on that night I completely broke down. Everything in that village was torment, suffering. I couldn't see anything, feel anything but terrible pain. I came to the conclusion that Aiko was better off without me, without a demon like me casting his shadow over her each and every night. That the village was better off without me, someone who would stoop to murdering a child in their rage. I thought that nobody would need me, or even miss me. But then, I was also a coward. Too scared to take responsibility, and too scared to erase himself from existence. I left Aiko what I thought was enough food and money, and a message for the Mishoto Clan to take care of her. I disappeared in the deepest part of night."

A life of solitude. That was the punishment Sozen chose for himself. It led to his current state, an unkempt mountain man who ducked and ran from society. He used his bloodline limit only in times of desperation, and kept away from using the forbidden strength that he had unlocked. After a few weeks of looking for ways to keep up his drinking habit, he got sick of it and stopped completely. He never went near the Sand again, even if he wanted to, or thought of it. Instead he wandered through each of the shinobi nations, hiding in caves and subsisting mostly on wild meat. He would occasionally wander into a town with meagre funds from bounty hunting, clean himself up slightly, and then leave without a trace.

It was on one of those rare trips into town that he learned about his daughter's accomplishments. About the truth behind his wife's death. And about me, who he worked hard to locate, knowing that he would need a bit of luck on his side. So perhaps this meeting was meant to be after all. Sozen remembered what Pakura had fought for, and her bravery. And in that moment, he decided that he would gather his courage for the first time in years. He knew that he had to see his daughter, even if it was just for the last time.

This is where we are now.

"I...I know that I have no right to ask anything of you, Miss Kobayashi. I was nothing but a menace to Aiko after Pakura died. I might have even killed her myself, with my horrific actions, if she wasn't supported by such good people. I don't deserve to see her face."

I turn my head to see that he's on the ground in front of me, hands on either side of him with his head pressed into the dirt. His body is trembling.

"But I beg you...please. Please give me this chance. Please let me see Aiko again, even if it's the very last thing I do. I will do anything, I'll take all of the beatings you can give me! I'll swallow garbage, and sand, whatever you ask! I just want to see my daughter again, I want to tell her how sorry I am! I don't want to run away anymore!"

"..."

"Please...Lilith Kobayashi! Please have mercy on me!" he cries.

I can...hear the voices in my head. Those echoes from times past.

Daddy! Please! Take my hand!

I wanted to save him.

Please, don't turn away from me! Don't go! Let me help! Let me save you!

I wanted, if only for a moment, to have a part of my family with me again. To see the man who abandoned me become someone else. Someone good.

Whatever it takes! Even if the world hates me!

That moment never came. It never will come again. All I have, all I will ever have...is that darkness inside of my soul.

Daddy! Please! Please!

I love you! Don't throw me away!

I look down at the man who sobs and pleads at my feet. His fear and shame consumes him. But he overcame it all. He came this far, to beg with his face in the dirt. All for one, fleeting chance.

"Do you...understand the terror you brought upon her?" I ask. "I don't think that you do. Because you were strong enough to leave. You were always...strong enough to leave. When she...I...us. Whenever we faced the terrors in the dark, we were just small things. We had no strength of chakra. We had no money to our names. We had...no credibility, without the bruises and scars that women of the world would gain. Just small, useless, girls. You were always strong enough to leave. We could never run far enough, or fast enough. We had no knowledge of the world outside of our window."

Sozen looks up at me, starting to understand.

"We...didn't have any strength. All we had...all we ever had...was you. Our guardian, our protector, the first person we loved, and the only one we had left. You were the only thing preventing the world and all of the terrifying things that haunted it from swallowing us up. Even as you terrorized us, we...had nobody else. But you were always strong enough to leave. You will never know our pain. Because you were always...strong enough...to leave."

"..."

"Come back...tomorrow," I say quietly.

I close my eyes and wait for him to disappear. He is thankfully gone by the time I open them again.

I listened to every word of his story. I know what it is...I have to do.

Sozen comes through the trees again this morning. I've finished cleaning up the campsite and have everything I need packed.

I set a bowl of food down on the nearby log, and reach into my pocket for a pen and notepad. Sozen starts to go to his knees, but I pull him back to his feet. I look into his eyes properly for the first time in a few days. Filled with trepidation. That much is understandable.

"I want you to know that I hate you."

He nods slowly.

"I think that you're trash, even more so than any other Uchiha I've met in this world. What you did was wretched, and unpardonable in my eyes. You truly make me sick."

"..."

"But you are also...braver than you give yourself credit for. And stronger than you've been able to realize for all of these years. You will not die here, and I will not torture you any longer. I will give you what you begged for all of this time. Because...as much as I loathe you, I could not stand to watch someone else lose their family. It can't be me that decides your fate. It has to be her."

I take the pen and notepad, then shove them into his chest. He looks down at the instruments before looking back to me in confusion.

"You have thirty minutes before I get back," I say quietly. "Write down where you want to meet with Aiko, and leave the notes on the log. Breakfast is there for you when you're done. If...you're still here when I get back, I'll break your neck without a word. I don't want to see your pathetic face ever again, Sozen Uchiha."

"I...ah..." He grabs onto the items before falling to the ground, crying openly. "I'm really...going to...see her?! Ah...aaaaaah!"

I turn away and start my walk into the forest, doing my best to ignore his pitiful wails.

"You extended a hand towards...a monster that ruined your life," I say to myself. "If your heart is bright enough to do that, then...even if it hurts, I know that you can reach your father too. And as much as I will always hate him, I hope...that you do reach him, Aiko."

Thirty minutes pass, and I walk back to camp. Sozen is long gone, breakfast eaten and the bowl cleaned. An extra note is left beside the location data that he wrote down.

"..."

I ball up the thank you note after reading the first line, and throw it into the fire to be consumed. After a few minutes, I snuff out the flames and fill the fire pit in again, then shoulder my pack. One more quick sweep of the area.

"I'll have this message delivered right away...there should be a station nearby once I get back into Fire Country."

With all of my heart...I pray that Aiko finds the strength to one day forgive him for what he did. Because he truly does love her...and family is something that no one should go without. When she finally reaches out for him, he will take her hand without a second thought.

And maybe then...

To my dearest Aiko -

Below I have listed the location for a meeting with another party. This will be painful to read, so please brace yourself. I have met with your father, Sozen Uchiha. And after ascertaining his intentions, I agreed to send this message to you, expressing his desire to see you again for the first time since he abandoned you. I understand that this will come as a terrible shock to you, but this is no trick or other means of deception.

I knew from the start that it would have to be your decision, Aiko. My feelings no longer matter. It is up to you and you alone how you will proceed from here. But I hope that you do choose to meet with him, and make your decision based on what you see in front of you. I apologize for the pain this will cause you, even if it's not something I mean to do.

No matter what, be strong. I will pray for you constantly.

With love,

- Lili