I am once again procrastinating. My friend reminded me that I play Touhou and that I had this idea bouncing around my head. So here it is!

Prologue

You know, I really should have expected this.

"Would number 5,895,643,273 please go to registration desk 1,736. You need to redo forms 78 to 7,563 due to a grammatical error."

The afterlife is a giant DMV.

"Sir, you are going to have to re-fill these forms, there are two spaces here."

"What do you mean there are two spaces? It's handwritten!"

This is hell. I don't know what I did, but this is hell.

"Number?" the person behind the desk asked me.

"I never got one, I was just dropped off here." The black robed girl had grabbed like 90 of us then dropped us off here.

"Wait, what the fuck are you doing here? God damn reapers being lazy little shits. Here, go to that line."

Walking slowly to the next line I stood there shell shocked. I hadn't really thought I was going to die so early. I thought I had dodged the damn truck. Fucker was going 40 in a 20 zone and blew the stop sign. I saw the bitch coming, and went backwards. Went behind a house and the small wall next to the house. Watched a fool start to cross the street only to get pasted. I was going to start laughing when I was suddenly picked up.

"Why are you trying to get transferred?" The woman behind the desk asked. She looked really tired.

"Ah, so I was told from the guy over there, since I didn't get a number, I was put here by accident?"

"Oh shit. Did you just see someone die?" She was suddenly very alert.

"Yeah, some idiot started crossing the road with looking both ways and got pasted by a big rig."

"Fuck. Shit. Alright, so good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Um, bad news?"

"We can't put you back in your old body."

"Ok, I wasn't really all that attached to it anyway."

"You also can't go back to your old world unless you get reincarnated."

"Shit, I kinda liked my world."

"Now, for the good news. You can be inserted into a world, with a cheat item."

"Any world? With any cheat item?"

"Any one cheat item from a category randomly selected by the wheel. Sadly, due to this being a reaper's fault and not a god's fault, you do not pick the world you are sent to."

"Shit." If I could pick a world, I would be able to get a really easy world and then get a stupidly overpowered ability and go to town. But the wheel also limited what I could do. Shit.

"Ok, selecting your world now."

The wheel spun and then slowly stopped. I looked at the gibberish on the wheel that it landed on and then looked to the attendant behind the desk.

"I can't read that."

"Ah, that says Konosuba."

"I'm not as fucked as I though I would be."

"Fair, rolling cheat category now."

"Oh Fuck!"

A much larger wheel started to spin. It landed on gibberish I didn't understand once more.

"That says tier two race change."

"That means diddly squat to me."

"Basically, you may change your race to a supernatural race at low class strength, which is just above peak non-supernatural humans. You may not be a dragon, a phoenix, a sword, or any sort of god/deity."

"Seems fair enough."

"Now you have 30 seconds to pick, go!"

"Ah! Um. Lunar Rabbit. Fuck."

That wasn't the best. Not the worst either. I had just been planning on playing Touhou when I died. It's not my fault I was playing imperishable night. I fucking loved Reisen's conceptual ability. Control over waves was a lot more open ended than it seemed. As a person in AP physics (fuck my unlife) I saw this power and thought: Damn, that's overpowered as shit. Forget Remilia's Fate manipulation, forget stopping time, forget controlling souls, Waves were broken. All energy is transferred through waves. If I could control the waves in a person, I could break their mind by sending a shit ton of waves through their brain. Overload their synapses and nerves and watch as their body kills itself. I could affect what people saw, heard, felt, smelt, and even tasted. I could theoretically shoot lightning from my fingers. Sadly it was not to be. I was stuck as a regular Lunar Rabbit with danmaku. Danmaku was still dumb and a little broken but not as much as some of Touhou's more open ended abilities.

"Ok, time to go! Next!"

I blacked out as I fell through the floor.