This is a strange idea, but imma roll with it. Hope you enjoy.

Life is crazy sometimes.

One moment you're just chilling and vibing, but another you're hit with random bouts of sadness or apathy, take your pick; spoiler alert, mine was the latter. Perhaps I was just bipolar. I'll never know for sure. Therapy is not for me.

Never really got the appeal of it. Here's what I think everytime life throws a curve ball or just decides to shit on you: Fuck it, we ball.

That's it. My guiding light is a fucking meme, but hey, it worked for the most part. Somewhat, or it made me apathetic as stated before.

Here's another: It is what it is. Lower energy and more acceptance…I'm speaking in memes, there's clearly something wrong with me.

And to think I have kids, too! Scary thought ain't it? They're not at the age where they'd remember me when they get older, so maybe that'll make it less painful?

Ah right, I'm still floating through this strange nothingness.

Did I forget to mention that? Can't even begin to imagine how long I've been here.

I didn't meet Truck-kun, Car-san, Train-sama, or whatever isekai plot devices that'll end me, but I knew it was coming. How could I not when I read an unhealthy amount of fanfiction of various anime?

Never was a religious man before, but I'm praying that I don't end up in Attack on Titan, that would just be awful.

Well…not that I could physically pray since I seem to be in a corporal or ethereal form.

That's something I'll never be able to describe even if the entire english lexicon was branded into my mind.

My top picks for reincarnations though? One Piece, Naruto, Dragon Ball, or whatever trashy Cultivation novel that comes up.

One Piece is obvious since it's the world of great adventure and a fun power system. Devil fruits and Haki. Dragon Ball would be cool so long as you weren't human. They sort of suck when compared to the vast multiverse. I'd take being green over humanity, and cultivation novels…well, I went through a phase of power fantasies and wish fulfillment. I blame Solo Leveling for that particular rabbit hole. Again, if you aren't a heaven-defying genius, god-tier constitution, or have some sort of cheat, then you'll be pretty much fucked no matter what novel you get thrown in.

Naruto is probably the most fair out of all of the worlds surprisingly enough, since you could just be a random civilian and still be a chunin at least. Well, on second thought, it would depend on when you were born. Any of the shinobi wars and you were fucked as a non-clan shinobi.

Not me though, I'll make it through…somehow.

Before I could go on, I felt a violent tug on my entire being, and my thoughts were immediately extinguished while my consciousness slipped.

"Are you ready, Minato-kun?" An older and wizened voice spoke to the young blond man. There was a slight look of relief on the elderly man's face. He's been at it for too long.

Three shinobi wars would do that to you. Sending shinobi of all ages from children to grown men and women to their deaths would make anyone greatful that they can finally rest.

The man who spoke was Sarutobi Hiruzen, Third Hokage, Professor, God of Shinobi…take your pick of titles. He is a living legend in a profession that killed young shinobi.

Looking at his successor, he knew that Konoha will flourish under his leadership.

"As ready as I'll ever be. You think Kushina will be watching?" The younger man asked with a bit of nervousness and hope. He could hardly believe he was only seconds away from completing his dream once he walks out on top of the Hokage Tower.

Hiruzen just shook his head in amusement at the question. The man was clearly in love for anyone who had a brain. It took him back to his younger days with his own wife, Biwako.

"I believe you already know the answer to that. Come, now, Yondaime-sama, Konoha is waiting." The third hokage led Minato onto the roof to the people of the village.

His people.

His village.

His family.

I let out a gasp as I bolted upright in my bed. My heart pounding so loudly that I felt my eardrums were about to burst. Breathing was laborious and my skin felt tingly, but I was able to calm myself with deep breaths.

What a horrific dream. Who dreams of dying and then being stuck in the void?

Wait…my fanfic senses are tingling. I can move, seeing how I sat up so quickly.

Actually, I sat up a bit too quickly. Was I that panicked or is my body so much faster now?

Easy to check, first open my eyes.

As I did, the room became clear to me, or it should have been but I can only see out of one eye.

I'm clearly an adult considering I feel the same proportions that I did before I died.

Kakashi was out since it was my right eye that I couldn't see out of.

Next, I tried moving my arms. My left one moved perfectly fine, but I suddenly realized that I couldn't feel my right arm.

My head turned so fast that one wouldn't be blamed if they thought I got whiplash. What I saw made my heart sink.

White bandages covered the entirety of my arm.

I was Danzo.

I was fucking Danzo Shimura

What kind of reincarnation is this? Where's the baby stage? Or even toddler stage? A few stories started at graduation or a few years before, but aren't I at least 50 years old?! That is over double my past life's age!

My isekai was robbed.

Maybe it's not all bad. I'm the leader of Root…yeahhh they didn't really do shit.

I'm old and crippled. This fucking sucks.

A headache began to form as I moved both hands to massage my temples…oh wait my right arm doesn't work.

I let out a deep sigh.

It is what it is.

The pain in my head didn't lessen at all and suddenly, like an explosion, my mind flooded with random pieces of information.

My pain lasted maybe five seconds before it was suddenly gone.

The muscles in my face twitched and I fought to keep a smile off my face.

Today was the coronation of Minato Namikaze as the Fourth Hokage.

Meaning, I have around 12-13 years before Naruto graduates.

Not that it'll matter, since I was over 50 years old and would only get older and weaker. I have no chance against the monsters of the world.

What the hell do I do then? I can't just act like Danzo since I was not nearly as fanatical about Konoha as he is.

I would never die for this place, or any place at all.

Well, no use sitting in bed thinking all day.

Kicking my feet to the side with surprising grace and speed for a man of my age, I was shocked to see a floating box in front of me. My feet planted on the floor as I gazed at the box.

[Complete Assimilation]

Due to a mistake regarding the reincarnator's age, the user will be compensated.

This ability is simple. You're able to completely assimilate any biological sample into your body without complication or rejection. Depending on rarity and volatility, there will be a cooldown.

Goodbye.

The text box vanished.

My jaw would've been on the ground if I didn't have a complete grasp on my emotions. Whether that was both my influence and Danzo's, I'll never know, but I'm thankful for it.

This ability more than made up for being so old. The whole 'assimilate any biological sample into your body without complication or rejection' was busted.

Completely and nonsensically busted.

Hashirama Cells? Yoink. I'd be the second coming of the man with complete assimilation. No Tenzo halfsies. Full-on Ashura chakra, aka Six Paths Yang Chakra.

As I said, nonsensically busted.

That was just for one sample. Would the Gedo Mazo be considered Kaguya Otsutsuki? Could I assimilate that? I'd be God. Capital G.

Well, I'd need Indra's chakra to get the rinnegan, but Sasuke would be born soon, so easy peasy.

Alright, baby steps.

Tenzou should be in my care, right? I remember a bit of filler where Kakashi got him out of my control.

Suddenly a memory flash told me exactly what I needed to know. He is still here.

Well, canon can go fuck itself at least for this.

I'm not sure if it's an AU or not yet since I don't particularly remember when Orochimaru defected.

He already did of course, since Hiruzen already notified the clan heads and his advisers of his choice. Orochimaru didn't like that.

Yamato's name is apparently Kinoe, which I completely forgot. I'll just rename him to Yamato. No big deal.

He's 10 years old which seems to be older than what I saw in filler, but I could be misremembering.

These memories are a bit strange since I didn't get everything but I get certain flashes if I think of things.

Do I have Hashirama cells in this base?

Another flash and I knew that I did.

I smiled and got up.

Thinking of the layout I realized that this is my HQ for Root. Where all agents are unless on missions.

There are multiple layers to the base. First would be my bedroom and the study would be next to it, along with the R&D room. Perhaps Danzo believes these are the most important rooms so he is in close proximity to them. I believe that's a fair assessment.

Next would be the Root agents' living quarters, along with their training grounds and mess hall, but apparently they aren't allowed to eat together.

Emotions and all that, so they take their food and eat alone.

That's a difference that I don't necessarily agree with Danzo here. Doesn't he know all about Friendship Power, and the anime cliche of fighting for your friends and family makes you stronger?

Clearly, he missed the memo, so I'm abolishing that nonsense as soon as possible.

Would have to make an announcement, but first I need the legendary cells.

I made my way to the R&D facility, which was just another door in this complex so that invaders wouldn't be able to make it out with appearance alone.

It was massive.

Lots of books and scrolls along with fridges, medical equipment, hell there was a forge in here.

I suppose Research and Development means everything under the sun for Danzo.

Activating my chakra in a certain pattern, the fridge clicked open. That's another thing, I can use this mystical force like second nature, whether that be the unconscious memories or just plain muscle memory, I'm not sure, but there are no complaints from me.

Reaching inside, I pulled out a small box and placed it on the counter beside me. Using chakra again, a seal appeared and the box clicked open.

Danzo was paranoid, but to his credit, this is Hashirama cells we are talking about.

There were five vials of greenish-pale liquid and picking one up, a notification appeared before me.

[Assimilation Cooldown: 6 Years]

Well, fuck.

I wouldn't be able to take in anything else until Naruto was like five or six. Would it be worth it?

Absolutely.

However, I have to pace myself.

I have about 13 years before canon kicks off, but there's nothing too threatening to deal with. Sixteen years is when things get ridiculous.

If Hashirama's cells cost six years, then it's safe to say that someone like Sasuke's or Madara's would be similar.

There's a couple more boxes.

None of these are labeled because that would just indicate to intruders what these were.

But I knew, and these other boxes are glorious.

One from Kushina Uzumaki, Madara Uchiha surprisingly, but then I remembered that Tobirama Senju took his body. Perhaps it's Tobirama-sensei now.

Repeating the sealing process, I take a look at Kushina's sample.

[Assimilation Cooldown: 1 Year]

Now that just works out perfectly.

The important question though is what do I want to do in the Kyuubi attack. That's in about a year or so, but if I pace myself starting with Kushina's blood then there's little I could do for their family.

Would I want to do anything? Minato being alive is practically impossible to achieve unless I'm right there in the delivery room and chose Hashirama's cells.

I know that'd never happen because of my reputation. Hiruzen, if he had any sense, would have warned him about me while taking up the hat as the fourth.

No shot I get to be there.

Could I save Kushina, though? Yes, I could.

Do I want to? Not really. I just don't care enough to fuck with my own plans for someone I don't even know.

My plan is simple: Obtain Kushina's blood which would have potent and powerful chakra, giving me quite the boost to my pitiful reserves. Actually, that word is a bit harsh, I'm around a jonin in terms of reserves which isn't bad due to my advanced age. Plus, Danzo didn't have the same drive that Hiruzen did in terms of personal strength, but in Sarutobi's case, he was forced into it by Tobirama-sensei that day.

Danzo focused more on intelligence, sabotage, assassination, and the more darker, subtler arts of the shinobi lifestyle. His Root weren't that strong.

I made a handsign and a Root agent appeared, Kinoto I believe. He didn't speak and waited for my order. Having people follow me was a bit strange at first when I sensed it, but another part of me felt that it was natural. Two sets of memories and all that.

"I will be retiring to my chambers for the day, do not disturb me. Stand outside the door until further instruction." I commanded in an eerily familiar tone. Never must forget that I'm Danzo Shimura. Whoever knows of the Root hates my guts.

It's time for a change once I've finished with this sample.

Locking everything up and back into my room, I sat down on the bed.

Uzumaki blood will give me quite the healing factor, but it won't do anything extreme like completely healing my arm or eye. One wouldn't be blamed if they asked why I didn't just start with Hashirama's cells.

It's actually pretty simple.

I don't need them yet.

The powerful chakra will allow me to abuse the shadow clone training. I may even end up with her affinity to train as well.

My legs also work perfectly fine, so increasing my speed wouldn't be an issue.

Taijutsu will be out until a year simply because I wouldn't want to build any bad habits. Like preferring my left side because I can block and parry but then my right side being awkward.

I can afford to wait.

Practicing ninjutsu and genjutsu will take a large portion of my year. Studying the missing gaps will also be helpful, I could even spar with my agents in purely ninjutsu or genjutsu, perhaps both.

There's much to do.

Let's get started.

Uncapping the liquid, I drank the whole thing, and as one could expect, it had that tangy iron taste which surprisingly didn't really bother me.

[Assimilation Commencing…]

I was assaulted with undescribable pain and my brain took that as a sign to shut off my consciousness. Drifting into sleepy time.

A warm feeling enveloped my body. The feeling of overwhelming vitality, of overwhelming chakra.

Overwhelming, indeed.

Opening my eyes, I instinctually sat up using both my arms.

That's right, both.

In awe, I looked at my right arm as it moved perfectly at my leisure. Channeling chakra, I felt that it felt no different to my left.

Sadly, the Uzumaki chakra isn't powerful enough to completely regenerate my missing eye, but I could be happy with this. Waiting is fine for me.

Getting out of bed, I made sure to look at myself to see if there were any changes.

There is. My eye color changed to a burgundy red while my hair was a mix of red and black. Not a Todoroki style but more of a mix all around.

My skin has also gained a more youthful and unblemished look. As if my body went 30 years into the past.

Danzo's body was better than my own despite his age, but that was because of chakra; however, this felt even better than that.

This could be a problem though. How would I explain the changes? A mid-life crisis?

The Assimilation is like a system so maybe if I just imagine myself as being the old me?

To no one's surprise, my body reverted back to the good ol' Danzo Shimura look. My chakra and everything else was still the same.

How does this even make sense? System fuckery.

Moving on.

It was now time to address my organization.

There will be changes around here.

First, I'm going to train these guys up so that they aren't all chunin scrubs. They will be called Root, but the new name has to sound better, like Legion or something. A work in progress for sure.

I don't mind the whole operations but simply throwing them away seems like a waste. There are around 100 Shinobi in the Root with half of them on missions.

Not surprising since the third war just ended and wanting to keep tabs on the other nations is crucial. Not to mention that Danzo wasn't exactly thrilled that Hiruzen didn't push the advantage and instead surrendered, so he had plans of his own.

Sabotaging supply lines and targeting merchants that would help Iwa recover were being killed. The same with Kumo, but things were looking bleak.

Danzo bit off more than he could chew because none of his agents had responded at their designated times. While the damages to Iwa and Kumo heavy, Danzo also probably lost half of his forces.

He would think that's a good trade-off since Root shinobi were expendable. Merchants took quite a while to build a relationship with and especially since bigger merchants knew each other and rumors surfaced. This could potentially scare them off from those places.

Of course, this is just a percentage of income and the relief effort from the war. Otherwise, it would be far too easy to cripple the economy. Not to mention their respective Daimyo's are helping out with their far-reaching connections.

While it did hurt them, it was just a tumble that hurt a bit, but nothing long-lasting.

Apparently, that was enough for Danzo.

Walking to the door changing back to my red and black hair, Kinoto kneeled.

"Summon all Root shinobi. I have an announcement to make." The man disappeared executing the order. Only I could contact all of them through a special method of fuinjutsu, but I needed a bit of time to organize my thoughts.

Time to head to the gathering place. The underground bridge.

There are many things to change. Killing one's own brother had to go in terms of new recruits. Elevating the strength of his shinobi. Lots of things to do.

Hmm.

Should I have a child?

That thought made me almost stop in place but I kept going. I had two kids that were both younger than 2, but perhaps I could try again? In this life.

Danzo Shimura didn't have any kids, at least from what was shown. My memories also indicate that he's never even been with a woman. A shame too, since it's a pretty impressive piece so to speak.

That'll change.

How many though? I can get caretakers to deal with the younger years until they're able to train, but how would I go about it?

As soon as that thought entered my mind, the answer became clear.

His Root shinobi. Out of the fifty that are here, about 12 of them are women over 18 years of age. About 5 are in between 12-16, not that it matters. I may not be a good person, but even I have to draw the line somewhere.

I could just ask, but they obey every single word I say. Perhaps I'll address it at the end of the meeting.

The meeting is set and as I enter the chamber, all of the shinobi knelt down. They didn't make any indication that they noticed my changed appearance, but there was no way my shinobi was different.

"Leader-sama!" The voices echoed through the room as I continued to make my way towards them and then stopped.

"After the war, Konoha was victorious, but not without cost. From the latest report, half of our forces are either K.I.A or M.I.A," I let my words sink in before continuing, "there will be changes. Our goal as Root is to protect the great tree from the shadows, and while that will continue to be true, I've decided to adopt another approach. You all have been trained in the discreet and subtle techniques of a shinobi, but now you all will focus on personal strength." Even though their emotions were rooted out of them from a young age, even I could see the minute looks of surprise.

Emotional training to this degree is just not feasible for humans since we are all not tools.

"You all can rise now. I have more to speak of, but do you all have any questions?" Now that got a clear look of surprise from others since they are trained to execute orders, not question them.

Unsurprisingly, though, they said nothing, all but one anyway.

"Danzo-sama, are these changes going to affect the types of missions we go on?" Kinoe, or Yamato, questioned, which is a good one.

Before I could answer though, a box appeared above Yamato's head.

[Assimilation Incomplete]

Do you wish to begin the process of reassimilation for Yamato?

Cooldown: 1 Year

It took all I had to not make a gawking expression appear on my face. Not only I could assimilate bloodlines into myself, but also others?! There even seems to be a separate cooldown. Since I'm planning on having kids, would I also be able to give them bloodlines?

A thought for later.

"Yes, you will be expected to see more combat-oriented missions in the future. Anything else?" I asked and got no response, so I continued, "The Root will have a restructuring of hierarchy and new incentives. My goal with these reforms are to promote individual growth and to grow bonds with each other." I let that sink in and if it weren't for their training, they would be openly gawking at me, not that I would see it with their masks.

"You may see this as a radical shift in the Root's core principles, but I believe this will be an improvement for the betterment of Konoha. You will be training in partners and masks will stay off while inside headquarters." They immediately took off their masks and kept listening. "The new hierarchy consists of strength, the leader will be known as Ace, while the three strongest under him will be known as King, Queen, and Jack."

Yeah, I'm stealing from Kaido. It's a pretty nice system he had, so…yoink!

Now that I could see their faces, I could see some eyes widening and desire leaking through them. Even though Danzo put them through hellish emotional training, you can never truly get rid of the human spirit.

"Ace-sama," Ah, Kinoto caught on quickly, "If I may, from what I've gathered, being stronger means getting those titles, but is there any other purpose to them?"

"Yes, those who reach the top three will get specialized training from me directly, soon after this meeting I will have a library set up which will contain scrolls and books on ways to increase your strength through all means of shinobi combat. Those below the top three will be simply called The Numbers, with number one being the highest. However, the one who earns the number one spot, King, will also be gifted a bloodline." I let that bomb explode in their faces and no amount of training could stop the sharp inhale of his shinobi.

"Ace-sama…what do you mean by gifted a bloodline?" Ah, that girl is Tsuchinoe, or woman I should say.

While she was the only one who spoke, I could feel all of them were also wondering the same thing if the intensity of their eyes was anything to go off of.

Introducing my gifts is a risk especially stimulating their personal desires after years of being an emotional drone, but I believe this could work out in my favor.

From being emotionless to having so much stimulation and a different way of living could work one of two ways. They'd resent me and be spiteful which would increase the likelihood of betrayal, or they'd be filled with gratitude for being able to feel like a human, forming connections and bonds.

This is why I introduced this new system. Stimulating a competitive nature while also having them train together is a great way to instill further loyalty and commitment.

If it doesn't work, I'd just kill all of them.

Not like I really even need Root anyway.

Having a personal army of Elite Jonin or even a handful of S-Rank shinobi sounded epic, that's why I'm going to such lengths.

It's also helpful that I could command them to gather more blood samples for assimilation.

"I have the ability to gift others with bloodlines seamlessly. It's a recent breakthrough that I wish to share with you; however, there are still limitations, so only the best and brightest will have the opportunity. That is all for now. Your partners will be decided by tomorrow and in six months, the competition to decide the rankings will begin. All but the female operatives are dismissed." I concluded and they all left except for a portion.

" I suppose I should've clarified, kunoichi under 18 are dismissed." A few more left and 12 remained. "At my age, I do not have any children or grandchildren, so I wish to rectify this. Legacy is important to keep Konoha strong and the future generation will be needed for when we pass. I wish to have children now. Because of the nature of this request and the recent reforms, you are allowed to refuse without consequence. I swear it to my sensei, Tobirama, and to the prosperity of the leaf village." It's a bit awkward to talk about, but it needed to be said.

If no one wanted to, then I'll have to find some other way to ensure I have kids.

Looking at their faces, there was no sign of disgust which is a good sign. A few of them looked contemplative, but eventually, they all kneeled.

"We wish to serve, Ace-sama!" They all shouted in unison.

Wait, all twelve agreed?

Maybe I didn't think this through.

Minato adjusted his new hat while sitting in his new chair with his new rob—

You get the point.

The newly instated Hokage of Konoha was viewing report after report.

Things were nice now that the war was over, but that's only compared to when they were at war. They still took large losses. Every nation did. The bloodiest conflict to date.

He could only hope that he wouldn't have to lead the village into a fourth.

Minato looked at a report with some suspicion.

Hiruzen, who was in the office with him raised an eyebrow.

"Everything alright, Hokage-sama?" He asked.

The Yondaime's mouth twitched in amusement.

"I've said multiple times that it feels strange hearing you call me that, Minato is fine, Sandaime-san." He tried to change his predecessor's mind to no avail.

"As long as you keep having that reaction, I just can't help it. Kushina-chan is the same, no?" The older man laughed lightheartedly.

After his coronation, he did some paperwork and went home for a few hours before coming back.

Kushina did indeed start calling him that but in a more…sensual way. She wouldn't let him leave until he was nearly late. It seems that Hiruzen caught on to his disheveled look and decided to tease the man about it. Upon calling him by his title Minato's face went nuclear in a bright shade of red.

Hiruzen couldn't hold back from a rambunctious laugh.

Hours later, and here they are.

Minato sighed and learned quickly to not rise to it after his first episode. It also helped that he was talking about work.

"Yes, according to intelligence, various merchant groups have been attacked in the land of earth and lightning." He stated before looking at the older man.

"Someone trying to capitalize after the war is over? It's hardly anything new." Hiruzen knew best that these things happened. Wanting to get in one last lick, but who it could be is anyone's guess. Kiri? Suna? Perhaps Iwa and Kumo attacked each other?

"Yes, and the shinobi have been killed decisively and quickly, as you said, they've probably anticipated this, but what concerns me is all the shinobi in question had the same description. Blank white mask, black robes, and the body burned upon death." Minato said with a severe expression on his face.

Hiruzen naturally warned his successor about Danzo and his Root shinobi. The older man sighed at his old friend's antics before speaking in a low tone.

"Root"

The first chapter is done.

Next will be more of a training montage.

I'm trying out different perspectives but I think it was fine. Naturally, the different perspectives will have something to do with the MC.

Until next time.