She constantly searched for a resolution despite knowing she'll forever come up short. The older woman did not depart from her after years of warning and promise. A sudden reaction from a hidden interaction instantly tore her closest companion from her. Her older sister had not the isolation as the youngest Summers. Buffy preaches otherwise, but Dawn lacks the companionship Buffy is surrounded with. There's a distinct loneliness to being the only one repeatedly pushed aside. Dawn figures they both experience isolation in their own incomprehensive ways. She wonders if she will ever truly move on because the heartache still controls her at times. The anguish and suffocation tends to plague her entire body. Despite this, she knows time does not stop for one because he or she cannot start. Dawn realizes this- she realized this shortly after her failed attempt to resurrect her poor mother. Regardless, she wishes, rather carelessly, that her mother could curl around her again. She longs to be enveloped with the warmth and pressure only reserved for a mother's baby girl. Seeing Buffy and the gang all jovial shouldn't irk her as it does. It's been two years, Dawn can understand that they were able to move on, but does this mean her mother has been forgotten by them all? Are they tossing aside the one woman who shared her maternal gifts within this broken group when she had two children of her own to care for? The idea sent Dawn spiraling as she clenched her fists against her head. Her mother is gone for good, Buffy was gone for a lengthy period, and everyone has fully recovered. There has been no direct affect on Dawn, so why was the past weighing down so heavily on her? Her sister is in the next room fully breathing and conversing, and she's here hyperventilating over the unfathomable reality of her mother's loss and her sister's destiny. Buffy is already slipping away- struck, though, has she ever been tangible to Dawn? An elder sister who refused to be sisterly; instead, deciding to be the ultimate protector with no room for the protected. Growing in shock, Dawn staggered backwards to a kitchen chair. She cannot proclaim that Buffy is as good as gone because the impact of her absence was too much to bear; however, their lack of interaction is eliciting a similar reaction from Dawn. She desires familial connection, and the one person she has left barely acknowledges her. She thinks, for a moment, about Xander, Willow, and Faith's upbringings. She understands that they no doubt had an undesirable home life; however, they never had a stable moment to miss. Dawn, on the other hand, had fantastic family members. She grew up in a welcoming home with an amazing mother and typical older sister- aside from the slaying part- which makes her situation all the more unbearable. Her sister's slowly fading from reach, and her mother is resting eternally. Frantically trying to wipe her tears and push away her thoughts, Dawn stands, stumbling towards the stairs. She manages to climb them without being noticed by the others. It only makes her want to cry more. As Dawn rushes upstairs, she nearly blazes past Buffy's room. Dawn pauses and nudges the door open. Slowly creeping towards the bed, she curls herself into the sheets. Hugging tightly, she fantasizes a world where her mother is singing her softly to sleep as her sister's fingers rake through her hair with love in each motion. As she lies still on the cold mattress, she accepts that the rest of her life is going to be spent without the most lovely lady of her existence.