Disclaimer: I do NOT own Deadpool, Marvel Comics, Doctor Who, or any of the characters or franchises appearing in my story.
Recently, I finally got around to what I had been thinking of doing for a long time now, and started watching Doctor Who (the 2005-present version, since I currently can't access anything older). I hadn't even gotten through the Ninth Doctor's time when this story idea popped into my head.
And I think it would be a crime not to write it at this point. So behold, here is the tale of Deadpool's adventure with the Tenth Doctor, starting with a little prologue that takes place right after the end of Total Drama Everything…
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"Chris' psycho reality show? Or my job as a mercenary? Ugh, I still can't decide which one's crazier!"
Wearing most of his red/black spandex suit, the Merc with the Mouth set about the regular maintenance of his vast assortment of weapons. His mask lay on the desk to the side. Who cares? Nobody was in the apartment right now to see his violently scarred face.
In the past two weeks since he had returned home from Total Drama Everything, the mercenary Deadpool had been going through this very debate over and over in his head. While there was certainly never a dull moment with his day job, the torture Chris put him and his newfound friends through was definitely competition.
Still, as he polished his swords while watching Doctor Who reruns, he had to admit that being on the show certainly had its good parts. After all, where else could you end up making friends with a teenage tennis player, a couple of spies, a Yu-gi-oh/Duel Monsters player, and a guitar-playing lamb, among others? And where else could you tell off a koala YouTube star for being a jerk?
He held up the first sword and looked over the blade. Perfect. Good weapon maintenance was important, at least if your job actually required their use. He looked over the second blade. Also perfect. With those done, he moved on to his handguns, making sure they weren't loaded. That was a lesson he had learned the hard way. Just because he could heal instantly from anything didn't stop bullets from hurting.
He paused a moment when the sounds of a particular moment he liked registered from the TV. Indeed, he was watching the very first episode of Doctor Who, "An Unearthly Child".
"Yes, yes, ship. This doesn't roll along on wheels, you know," said the First Doctor.
"You mean it moves?" Barbara Wright asked
"The TARDIS can go anywhere," Susan Foreman, the Doctor's granddaughter, replied.
"TARDIS? I don't understand you, Susan."
"Well, I made up the name Tardis from the initials, Time And Relative Dimension In Space. I thought you'd both understand when you saw the different dimensions inside from those outside."
Ian Chesterton couldn't believe it. "Just let me get this straight. A thing that looks like a police box, standing in a junkyard, it can move anywhere in time and space?"
"Yes," Susan replied.
"Quite so," said the Doctor.
…
"You're in for a wild ride, Barbara and Ian," Deadpool said, smiling at the TV. "None of the Doctor's other companions get to claim they were the first."
One thing that might not be stated in the comics was how huge of a fan Deadpool was of Doctor Who. By this point, he had watched nearly every episode, from both the original show and the revival. And he had a ton of merch. A few posters, a collector's edition of the revival on Blu-ray, OTHER collector's editions in other languages, some POP! figures, other types of figures, a miniature TARDIS, and other various merch he had acquired.
And that didn't even count his most important piece.
Deadpool finished cleaning his guns, then set them on the desk. He was surprised he hadn't told his friends, whether from the comics or Total Drama, about this obsession. Cable would want to meet the Doctor, as a fellow time traveler. Yusei would probably be over the moon to see outer space. Deadpool hadn't talked about this, but he was more than willing to talk about literally everything else. He WAS the Merc with the Mouth. And hey, the Total Drama crowd didn't seem to care. In fact, Julie had invited him to come visit her and Ben (Author's Note: This was before Julie and Ben broke up.), and he was already planning to take her up on that offer in a couple days.
Still, it didn't matter if he was a globe-trotting mercenary one minute, or a survivor of Chris' death trap the next. Not when there was one thing he feared he might never have the chance to do.
Deadpool looked out the window, at the night sky, millions of stars set as the background for a crescent moon. As he stared, a shooting star shot across the star.
"No way!" he exclaimed. "Huh, never saw myself as the 'wishful thinking' type, but here goes."
After laughing at his own joke, he breathed. "Hey, star or whatever. If it's possible, could you set me up an adventure with the Doctor? You know, some kind of an adventure where I get to explore another planet, talk to some sweet alien girls, and maybe even accidentally get the Doctor and myself into some kind of danger. You know, something like that. Could I please have that chance? Just once? Any of the Doctor's incarnations would do."
He paused. "But if I can choose which one I get to hang out with, can it be the Tenth Doctor? He's my all-time favorite Doctor. David Tennant brought the perfect mix of goofiness and heroism. And it didn't hurt that many people think he was sexy during his run. Myself included. But sexiness aside, I know it's a copout, but the Tenth Doctor is legendary in my eyes, and if I could choose a Doctor to go on an adventure with, it would be him. But I'm open-minded. All I want is one adventure with the Doctor. Even if it lasts five minutes, that's all I want. One adventure. So help me out, bro."
He sighed. "I just realized I'm talking to stars. Just a few weeks out of Total Drama, and I've gone crazy. Well, crazier."
He looked back at the TV. At the moment, the Doctor and his first companions were being led away, with the intent for the tribe they had met to sacrifice them.
"Meh, he would've just come back in another form. But his friends? Ehhhh….."
He walked to his couch and plopped down onto it, intent on watching the episode now that his weapons were taken care of. Just like with talking about the show, any time he was watching an episode would see Deadpool at his most silent.
So it was no wonder he heard it…
A distinct sound, both whirling and wheezing…
Deadpool muted the TV, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him. Wouldn't be the first time. Yet, he still heard it.
"Can it be?" he asked, running back to the window.
His apartment sat right next to an alleyway. It was mostly dark, but there was one small light at the end. While not terribly bright, Deadpool could've swore he spotted something fading in and out within the light's beam.
Deadpool rubbed his eyes. He HAD to be tired, it was almost midnight. But the item was still fading out, until it fully materialized. And while he couldn't tell clearly what it was due to the darkness, he did see that it was unmistakably blue. He gasped.
"No way!" he exclaimed, before grabbing his mask and putting it on. Then he hurried and fastened his weapons back onto his body. He was almost out the door when he remembered something. He ran back to his desk, grabbed the black notebook sitting on it and a nearby pen, and dashed out the door.
It seemed like forever before he reached the end of the alley. And standing before him was a blue 1960's British police box. Or at least, that's what it looked like. Deadpool looked around in panic, unsure of what to do.
"OhmyGodohmGodohmyGodohmyGod! It's the TARDIS! It has to be! Uh, what do I say to him? Well, ask for his autograph. That's a start. But will he be keen on the adventure part? I don't know, maybe. Depends on the Doctor." He looked at the notebook. "As long as it's not the Second, Fifth, or Eighth. Already got those."
Just then, he could hear the sound of the TARDIS door opening. Quickly, he jumped behind a trash can, hoping he wouldn't be noticed. He kept his mouth surprisingly closed as the door opened.
Out stepped a seemingly young man, his slightly long dark brown hair combed back. He was wearing a red dress shirt, brown jacket and pants, blue pants, and a red bowtie. The man looked behind them, towards the still-open door of the TARDIS.
"It should be just a couple minutes, guys. Just wanted to talk to someone real fast." And he closed the door behind him.
Deadpool did his best to keep silent. Again, tough job. 'The Eleventh Doctor? Shoot, I wanted the Tenth. Oh well, I'll take Eleventh. He's a favorite too. Not to mention Matt Smith's chin probably has its own zip code.'
"Alright, Deadpool. I know you're watching. You can come on out, I won't bite."
Deadpool gasped. 'No way!'
"You should already have a pen, right? You need only come out and ask."
'And he remembers the autographs?!'
Deadpool stood up and walked towards the Doctor. "I don't think you can see it through my mask, but I want you to know that I am super duper MAJOR starstruck right now," Deadpool said, slightly quivering.
The Doctor laughed slightly. "Don't be. It's just a guy traveling around space and time in a police box. Given your own profession and the company you keep, this is probably not nearly the craziest thing you've seen."
"Yeah, but…still. The Eleventh Doctor…right in front of me."
Deadpool handed the Doctor the notebook and pen. "I don't know if you remember, but I have a personal goal to try to get one autograph from each of your incarnations. You'll notice I have the Second, Fifth, and Eighth Doctors on here already, so this isn't the first time. I didn't think any of you would be cool with this, but I thought I would give it a shot. No rejections yet, though the Fifth and the Eighth Doctors clearly didn't want to-"
"Blimey, I already said you need only ask," said the Doctor, sounding both exasperated and amused. "You didn't have to give a speech about it."
"Oh, sorry Doc. Sign away."
The Doctor sighed. "Sorry my past selves weren't so welcoming, but I'm more than happy to accommodate today." He flipped to the notebook page with the signatures for the Second, Fifth, and Eighth Doctors. Finding a spot, he took the pen and jotted down 'Eleventh Doctor", before handing the book and pen back to Deadpool.
The mercenary took the book and hugged it. "Eeeeeeh!"
"Did you just squee?" the Doctor asked.
"Don't judge me. You probably do so whenever you find an alien species you don't know about."
The Doctor shrugged. "Alright, I'll give you that. So, is there anything you wanted to ask before I go? Now's your chance to ask me anything in the cosmos."
Deadpool pondered. "I do have two questions."
"Fire away."
"Could I just look inside the TARDIS? You don't have to let me in, I just want to take a small peek."
The Doctor nodded, then walked back to the TARDIS door and opened it. "Small peek."
He opened the door just enough for Deadpool to stick his head in. Deadpool looked around to take in the large, circular room, somehow able to fit inside the small police box. He spotted two individuals, a woman with long red hair and a man with short dirty blond hair were playing poker.
"Who's dealing?" Deadpool called.
"The Doctor will when he gets back in here," the man said. "Longest autograph ever, in my opinion. Hope he hurries up."
"He's just determined to win," said the woman. "I've already won half his candy pile."
"You guys are using candy?"
"We don't have poker chips, so why not?"
"Gotcha. Alright, the Doctor's saying time's up. He'll be back in soon. Nice meeting you, Amy and Rory."
"Likewise," said Rory.
Deadpool stepped away from the door, allowing the Doctor to close it again. He tried to pull of a stern face, but he still didn't seem very serious. "Alright, talking to the companions wasn't part of the deal. Clever though."
"Can I help it if I'm a fan? Heck no."
The Doctor laughed. "Alright, now what was you second question? But I believe I already know."
"You do?"
"Ask it, and we'll see if I'm right. Which I usually am. Except when I'm not. Very contradictory, you know."
Deadpool sighed. Not the Tenth Doctor, but the Doctor regardless. It was now or never.
"IsthereanychanceIcangoonatripintheTARDISjustonetripwiththeDoctorhimselfwheresomethingcrazyhappensandIcanhelpyousavethedayeithersomewhere intimeoranotherplanetIdon'tcarewhichbutmayIplease?"
The Doctor looked at him, impressed. "You got all that in one breath? Not bad."
"Thanks, I try."
"Not as many people ask to join me on my travels as much as you think, Deadpool. The fact that you are asking now is actually quite refreshing."
Deadpool giggled.
"Unfortunately, it is one request I cannot grant you right now. I'm sorry."
Deadpool sighed in anguish. "Damn. Worth a shot."
"Always is. But listen, that doesn't mean a trip with the Doctor isn't coming for you. It's just not your time yet."
Deadpool looked up. "Not my time?"
"I can't say which past or future incarnation it might be with, but I know it's not with me. All I can promise is that you WILL have the opportunity. At some point, the Doctor's gonna let you ride along, albeit reluctantly and almost against their will. That happens sometimes. You'll see some thing that neither you, nor even he has ever seen before. You'll experience adventure, but also terrible loss. But it will be an adventure to remember. I can't say when. I don't even KNOW when. I think there will be an earlier opportunity for you, but you'll lose it due to some back luck and poor teamwork. But someday, you will get that trip. Someday."
Deadpool nodded, taking the words in. "I'm trying to believe you. Believe me, I am."
"Even the famous Deadpool gets skeptical. Who knew?"
"Yeah, that's pretty hard for me to do, getting skeptical."
The Doctor nodded. "And if you would, I would like to give you a couple small pieces of advice."
"Yeah?"
"First, I think you'll have to be reminded of this one, but remember this: if you can't pay it back, pay it forward."
Deadpool almost laughed. "What?"
"Say you owe a debt to somebody, but for whatever reason, the chance to repay their kind deed has forever left your grasp. So what do you do? You pay it forward to someone else. It can be anything. Help a blind man across the street. Return a stolen wallet (WITHOUT killing the thief, because that's just bad taste). For goodness sake, stop a bloody bank robbery (again, no killing the robbers)."
"Aww, I always kill the robbers."
"Still bad taste. If nothing else, saving somebody else's life is a great way to pay it forward. Better than nothing."
Deadpool shrugged. "And the second advice?"
The Doctor smiled again. "If you need to cause a distraction and break your enemy's concentration, I hear shooting down chandeliers is the way to go."
Silence. Then Deadpool responded with, "Wow. That sounds…random. Even for me."
"Just try it. It'll do you some good."
"Sure, I guess I'll keep it in mind."
"You're still skeptical?"
Deadpool nodded. "How do I know you're not just winding me up and making me feel better just because I can't join you and the others in the TARDIS? I might be crazy, Doctor, but I'm not stupid. I'd like some confirmation here."
The time traveler shook his head. "Be patient. The wait will likely be longer than you wish, but it's worth it. I'm afraid you're just going to have to trust me."
"Sums up your adventures perfectly, Doctor."
The Doctor nodded and laughed. "Don't they? Well, best be off. I have a strange feeling Amy's already won the other half of Rory's stash. I have some catching up to do."
He walked back to the TARDIS and opened the door, but before he stepped in, he suddenly turned back to look at Deadpool.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. There's one other thing I must tell you."
Deadpool looked at him, hopeful. "Yeah?"
With a final smile, the Doctor replied, "You still owe me a hot dog."
Deadpool's jaw dropped as the Doctor waved at him, stepped into the TARDIS, and closed the door. The mercenary stumbled in surprise.
"Wait, what did you say? I owe you a hot dog? What the heck?"
The TARDIS suddenly began to dematerialize, while Deadpool kept calling out for it.
"What do you mean (insert bad, overexaggerated British accent here) 'I owe you a hot dog'? Why do I owe you a stinkin' hot dog? Hey, what gives?"
It was no use. The TARDIS fully dematerialized and vanished without a trace, leaving Deadpool standing there, clutching his notebook.
He opened it to the page with the autographs. There were four now. But getting the fourth one had left him with a ton of questions.
"Sheesh, you couldn't possibly have been MORE cryptic, Doctor?" he asked sarcastically as he walked back to his apartment, his head filled to the brim with questions and doubts.
"At least Cable gives it to me straight."
He walked on, with one more sentence on his mind. 'I wonder when Chris will finalize the plans for Total Drama Everything 2.'
Little did he know, his path to meeting the Doctor again had only just begun.
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Holy cow, I'm excited.
So this was the prologue to my new crossover between Deadpool and Doctor Who, which still takes place in the universe where TDE is held. Before the story continues, however, there are a few details to clarify.
First, I am planning for this story to have a prologue (duh), three or four main chapters, and an epilogue. I just need it to be long enough to capture the magic of a two-part Doctor Who episode arc.
Second, while this prologue takes place right after the end of Total Drama Everything, the rest of the story will take place after TDE3 was supposed to end. So there will be a few details about TDE3 that I never published before, particularly about the chapter right after the baseball challenge. I apologize now if there ends up being confusion.
Third, what the Doctor told Deadpool about the chandelier has already happened. Just check out TDE2.
Fourth, just like the characters and franchises as a whole, I do not own "An Unearthly Child", the very first episode of Doctor Who, that Deadpool is watching on TV and where the italicized passage comes from.
And lastly, while Deadpool met the Eleventh Doctor here, the rest of the story will primarily feature the Tenth. Oh, and legendary companion Rose Tyler joins in the fun too.
Hopefully, I will get to put out an epic story that combines my longtime love for the character Deadpool, with my newfound life for the Doctor Who franchise, and I hope to get the rest of the story out soon.
In the meantime, remember to read and review, fave and follow, and check out my other stories. And remember, Barcelona! You know what that is, Who fans.
TheMasterKat out!