WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

61. OC X AKASTSUKI PART ONE

Oh Honey, There Goes Your Bastard

Fireflylitsky

Summary:

She's a civilian. Useless. Sheltered. A silly little bookworm caught up in a tangled web she doesn't belong in. Surely she couldn't be of use to a group of S-class criminals, right? No, of course not.

Well, she also has a bad habit of being wrong…

So maybe she's got a secret locked in her mind, and as it turns out, a lot of people want it. Life would be easier if she knew what it was. Never mind that though, these criminals are in need of some serious therapy. That, she can work with.

Chapter 1: Discovery

Notes:

Yes we're coming out of the gate with an author's note, I'm a mad woman.

Just a quick point of order, this is a rewrite of a story I started writing in 2010. That being said, no one named "Izumi" had been introduced as a canon Naruto character at the time of me starting this.

The Izumi in this story is an OC and is in no way related to Izumi Uchiha. FML. (What are the odds that I would not only pick that name but also have her romantically involved with Itachi?)

Anyway, please enjoy the show.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Running.

It was something my body wasn't meant to do, yet there I was, doing it... well, a feeble attempt anyway.

Feeble is being generous...

So maybe it had devolved into something only distantly related to running. A second cousin once removed, perhaps. Floundering.

I considered the distinct possibility that I should stop to rest before my body made the decision for me. After all, I had been "running" for at least a half hour, and for a shut-in bookworm like me, that was thirty minutes longer than average.

Whatever adrenaline that initially spurred me had certainly worn off.

Thirsty and tired with no clue where I was, or, more importantly, where I was going, I flopped against a huge rock. Panting harshly, I shut my eyes, focusing on the sounds of the forest.

A choir of crickets and frogs sang out of rhythm with each other, a low, blowing wind and rustling of leaves filling in the gaps. I tried to channel the calmness of the wind. Tried.

As I listened, I couldn't help but notice a suspicious noise that didn't quite fit in… one that was distinctly un-peaceful given my current situation.

Hm. Never thought of footsteps as something horrifying, yet here we are.

It wasn't long before footsteps became voices and I cringed at my horrid luck as they grew nearer.

"How much further do we have to go, yeah?" One voice whined, sandals scuffing through the dirt.

Scuffy Steps.

"New rule, I'm not entertaining the same question more than once," another voice answered, dull and gravelly with an edge of annoyance.

Big Mad.

There were only two people from what I could hear, Scuffy Steps and Big Mad. My mind rifled through various scenarios that might explain people travelling in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night.

Okay, let's see here… could be botanists studying nocturnal plants… hm, is that even a thing? Not sure, moving on. Perhaps business men trying to make an early morning meeting. Members of a local Insomniac support group. Human traffickers, avoiding main roads of course. Werewolves maybe?

My imagination spiraled into very creatively dark places and I abandoned the thought process in favor of focusing on staying quiet.

Reel it in, girl...

I tried to make myself smaller than I already was.

"I'm beat, can't we take a rest here, yeah?" Scuffy Steps complained.

Oh, lord no. Please have better luck than this. Please tell me they aren't resting here.

"Fine," Big Mad replied, short and gruff.

Absolute beans.

The two men sat in silence mostly, though one was much more talkative than the other. They spoke briefly of a village they had just come from, apparently they had killed some people there.

Yes, that's right. Killed some people. Though it seemed like a casual topic to them.

So probably shinobi then… though you can't rule out werewolves just yet.

I had been worried about that... from what I had read and knew about shinobi, they were considered honorable and skilled fighters that served their country, but from time to time, they could go rogue.

Missing-nin. Traitors and criminals. Whatever you wanted to call them, it spelled trouble for me.

"Deidara." The rough, calm voice cut through the night air.

"Hm?"

"Have you felt something strange since we've arrived here?"

I clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes tight, my hands balled into fists, nails biting into my palms nearly drawing blood.

If you don't move, they can't see you… that's how it works, right?

"Well now that you mention it…" A voice was suddenly in front of me, "feels like someone's been eavesdropping, yeah?"

My eyes snapped open to find this stranger's face directly in front of mine. My face held no surprise, just flat anguish.

"Hi?" I said, wincing with a pained smile and an uncomfortable shrug.

The blonde, Deidara, I presumed, formerly known as Scuffy Steps, looked confused, almost biting back a laugh.

"You're saying hi to me…? That's really… that's the play you're making right now?"

Had I not been in the predicament I was, I would have spent more time being jealous about the fact that he was far prettier than I would be. Even in the dim light, the brightness of his one visible, cerulean eye was noteworthy and locking nto place by medusa's stare.

"Mm… yeah, not the best move. I suppose it's too late for me to change it, right?" I asked with a dithery laugh, wringing the fingers of one hand with the other.

The man in front of me pulled back a bit, seemingly bemused by our interaction. I didn't know how these things worked, what shinobi etiquette was, but apparently I'd surmised incorrectly that it might entail a casual greeting.

A terrible abomination of a man soon appeared just behind him, scrutinizing me with coal black eyes that glinted ominously in the moonlight. That had to be Big Mad.

"What are you planning, girl?" the thing asked in an offensively accusatory tone, eyes squinting.

I'll have you know, I've never made a plan in my life.

I decided against verbalizing my internal thoughts at that moment, deeming them exceptionally and stupidly inappropriate… even for me.

"Nothing really," I said truthfully, shifting my attention back to the blonde who was much more pleasant to look at.

However, much to my dismay, he had just been ordered to "seize me", and as cute as he was, I certainly did not want to be seized.

"Wow, you are just… so amazingly bad at this it's almost cute," Deidara laughed, sparing no time in grabbing my hair by its roots and yanking me up to my feet.

I flinched backward in vain, a pained noise leaking out through gritted teeth.

Okay, so that just escalated.

"You should probably try answering again, my man Sasori didn't love the first one," he advised, tightening his grip with a shake.

I'd read about the human instinct of fight or flight in my studies, but there was actually another option. Freeze. And I was the absolute best at it apparently.

I stared at him through wincing eyes, trying desperately to form a sentence that would get me out of this situation, but they all seemed to end with me as a corpse.

"Hey, anyone in there?" he asked, tapping on my forehead like it was a little door to my brain.

Yes, but please do not disturb.

Most of my brain power was being used on simply staying upright, as the majority of my neurons were short-circuiting given the stress and my inability to handle it. So it was about all I could do to just look at him past my too-long, dark bangs hanging in my equally dark eyes.

"Just take care of her, Deidara, we need to get moving," said Sasori, formerly known as Big Mad. He seemed like a real peach.

"Hm, fine," Deidara said as if inconvenienced. He released me only to shove his hand into a pouch at his side.

Sorry killing me is such a bother? Yeesh.

He obviously didn't view me as much of a threat, not that I could blame him there. I was less than five foot nothing with no muscle mass, donning baggy clothes and a dumb, gaping look plastered on my face.

Regardless of all that though, I had a bit of a brain and it was screaming at me that this was my only window to escape.

With my body still leaned up against the rock. I clenched my eyes shut and begged for this to work.

It had to work.

I shook with effort, fists clenched. A dribble of blood began to bead in my nostril before building up enough to flow down freely onto my lips.

I pulled them into a taut line to prevent it from entering my mouth, ignoring it to keep my focus. A swirling uneasy feeling filled my gut as I was hit with the sensation of falling backwards.

Holy biscuits, it's actually working.

I stepped back and righted my balance before passing completely through the rock. I quickly celebrated the boulder-phasing success in my head. However, successfully running away seemed less likely, but I had to try all the same.

Once I started, I didn't stop. I was counting on their confusion to give me a head start. I just hoped they hadn't met too many people that could bamf through boulders…

My adrenaline was back in full force as my feet pounded against the dirt. I felt like the fastest thing that ever lived, racing through the forest with no particular destination other than far, far away from them .

Directions be damned.

That feeling lasted about twenty seconds before the heaviness weighed on my body once more. That stupid rock thing really took a toll on me and the small bead of crimson continued to drip down from my nostril. I sniffed and wiped it away with a skating fist.

I'd worry about that later.

"Well that was a neat trick, yeah?" Deidara leapt down from a tree branch landing right in front me.

My face dropped, absolutely horrified by this completely predictable turn of events, at which he smirked.

Skidding to a halt, I looked frantically around me. The other one, Sasori, flanked me from behind.

Izumi, girl, you are not making it out of this one.

"You see, we just wanted to chat at first, see what you're up to out here, if you're enjoying the sights, that kinda thing... but now I feel like you've really got something to hide," Deidara tutted, approaching me with an amused but menacing expression.

"So I'll ask you again, what are you planning?" His one visible eye narrowed dangerously.

I put my hands up in the air to show I had no violent intentions, trying to find my voice.

"I-I um, I swear I'm not up to anything. I'm r-really sorry if I've caused any trouble. I think this is all a big misunderstanding," I managed to stammer out, unable to feel like his pointed glare wasn't burning a whole through my head, making it entirely too hard to think straight.

He took a step forward, chuckling. "You really expect us to believe that?"

"I mean… yes? I was hoping, anyway? It's kind of the truth sooo... I-I don't have a better answer," I said with a bewildered shrug.

"Okay so cute and dumb. Not the worst combination in the world, honestly... but definitely not helping you out right now, kunoichi."

"I'm not a kunoichi, does that help?" I asked hopefully.

His eye narrowed once more. "Oh, so just a civilian that knows earth style jutsu and phases through rocks? God, you really are awful at this. I almost feel bad."

Ugh, you're so sus, Izumi.

My body was fighting me to stay vertical. I leaned against a tree to keep myself standing.

"Aw, are we tired?" Deidara jeered, releasing a tiny little bird from his hand. I stared as it flew towards me. It was curious for him to have such a creature, but also, it was just very cute.

It all happened too fast for me to comprehend.

There was a loud noise. An explosion. I found myself skidding across the ground, a ragged gasp escaping my lips as cuts and scrapes lined the side of my face and body.

Um, what kind of bird was that?

"Don't think your little rock trick is enough to get past the Akatsuki, yeah?" Deidara gloated with no shortage of pomp as he swaggered over and grabbed me by the hair once more.

"Akatsuki"...?

He yanked me to stand in my feet, if you could call it standing. Dangling might have been more appropriate.

"Now I'm going to have to kill you," he said as if it were an unfortunate consequence to a misunderstanding. He opened his left palm, revealing another a tiny clay bird.

"Open up," he ordered, forcing it into my mouth and clapping his hand over my lips. "Art is a—"

"Wait." Sasori stopped him before walking over to me, his callous eyes meeting mine.

"Yeah?" Deidara sounded annoyed.

Join the club, pretty boy.

"She could be of use to us," he murmured before directing his questions at me.

"What village are you from and why are you out here?" he demanded, grabbing Deidara's wrist and pulling his hand from my mouth. I hastily spit out the tiny clay bird.

Blech.

"Bang…" Deidara muttered as it exploded away from me. I swallowed hard.

"Well, aren't you going to answer him, yeah?" Deidara questioned as Sasori grew increasingly impatient.

I stalled because my brain was buffering, trying to come up with a response that wouldn't get me killed. If they knew I wasn't useful, which was the truth, they would certainly just kill me on the spot.

"I-I'm from Konoha," I offered up with a wince. That was the truth.

"Alright, kill her. I hate that fucking place," Deidara said, his grip tightening on the roots of my hair.

"Deidara…" Sasori glared at his partner with warning eyes before continuing on. "I asked you a two-part question, do not make me repeat myself."

It would have been great if my brain weren't a complete pile of mush at that moment. What was the other question... what was I doing?

Now that, I had no good answer for. What was I supposed to tell them, that I was running away from home? I didn't get the impression that they would believe me or give a hoot.

"Deidara… she's too slow," Sasori said, hinting at an order between the lines.

Deidara nodded in understanding before his fist connected hard with my jaw.

I stumbled for a moment, entirely dazed by the blow, before falling to my knees with a harsh scraping of skin. The pain was incredible as I touched my jaw lightly, my fingers softly trailing over the bruise already forming. Tears attempted to spring free.

Their attempts were immediately successful.

"If she won't talk then we'll take her back with us. I think I know someone that will have more luck." Sasori's dull eyes glanced from me to the sky. "Let's move."

"Alright. Ready to go, yeah?" Deidara asked impatiently. It was somehow less of a question and more of an order.

I frantically wiped at the corners of my eyes and choked on a sob, taking in the severity of the situation.

I didn't really have much of a choice. It wasn't like I could outrun them or fight them, and I certainly couldn't negotiate. Slowly pushing myself to my feet, I still felt dizzy from the punch, stumbling forward with spots dancing in my eyes.

Catching myself on something sturdy, I groaned and let myself lean into it while I regained my balance and vision.

"Geez, I'm not gonna complain but what the hell are you doing?" Deidara's voice penetrated my haze, leading me back into focus.

Oh. Lovely. I'd been leaning against him.

His black cloak nearly consumed my small figure before he pushed me away, hands planted firmly on my shoulders so I wouldn't continue falling backwards.

"Oh… sorry…" I said sniffling, my face sour and hands tenderly holding my jaw.

Um, are you apologizing for getting punched?

I suppose I technically was.

Deidara surveyed me with an interesting expression. He was so confident before, but now he seemed to be growing uneasy. Uncomfortable.

"Let's go then," Sasori ordered as he began shuffling south. Deidara motioned for me to walk so that I was in between him and Sasori, Deidara being the caboose.

The thought of having to walk even another mile made my eyes well up even more. My legs felt like jello, each step pushing the limits of my bones and muscles within.

I just couldn't do it. My knees buckled before giving out and I fell face first, not even enough energy to put my arms out.

"Shit." I heard Deidara hiss.

"Get her up, we keep moving," Sasori ordered.

I felt myself being lifted and slung over a shoulder like a ragdoll. It was uncomfortable and I couldn't breathe very well, also the blood rushing to my head made my jaw throb even more.

"Hey…" I mumbled, slightly delirious, "...Deidara was it?"

"Hm, you're awake?" He asked in somewhat of a whisper over his shoulder. Perhaps he didn't want to disturb his partner with chatter. Sasori seemed distinctly… unfriendly.

"Unfortunately," I grumbled.

He scoffed out a little laugh. "What do you want, yeah?"

"Can you do piggyback instead of this?"

He stifled what surely would have been a much bigger laugh.

"You've got some balls, I'll give you that. You really think you're in a position to make demands?"

"No demands, just asking… please?"

"No."

"But… I asked really nicely."

"No."

"Yes, I did."

"I'm not saying 'no' to that, I'm saying… ugh. You know what, never mind. Shut up, yeah?"

"But I can pull your pants down from this position. Doesn't that make you nervous? It would make it very difficult to walk, I imagine."

"Seriously, what the fuck kind of kunoichi are you?" he asked incredulously, though not entirely devoid of amusement.

"If you carry me piggyback, I'll tell you."

Deidara was silent. I hoped it was because he was deeply considering my offer. After too long a time went by, I realized it was because he was ignoring me.

Fine. It's pants time.

I didn't have much to lose, it wasn't like they'd keep me alive once they realized I wasn't important.

I began trying to tug his pants down but man were they on there tight. I absently wondered if he glued them to his waist.

Or, ya know… you're just really awkward and weak.

That was a definite possibility.

"Are you fucking for real?" Deidara asked, unphased and continuing at pace.

My tongue peeked out from my lips as I tried my damndest.

"Hey, if you're that curious about what's in my pants, I promise to show you when we get back to base. You're cute enough."

His tone was weirdly suggestive and I got the feeling he was making some gross sexual joke. I immediately stopped trying to remove his pants and huffed in disgust.

"That's not what I was doing…" I mumbled, crossing my arms.

"Then what were you trying to do, yeah?"

"I was trying to just be annoying."

"Hm, nah, you're doing just fine at that."

Okay, so he's a little funny when he's not decking me in the face.

"Annoying enough to get a piggyback?" I asked, feeling hopefully at our renewed banter.

"Not quite."

I scowled. "What would it take?"

"God, you're persistent."

"And super annoying," I agreed.

There was a moment of tenuous silence.

"...and if I do it, you'll shut up?"

"Mums the word."

I landed on my side with a groan as he dropped me off his shoulder.

"You better not be lying about this too…" he muttered, reaching down and grabbing me by the wrist. He bent over and hoisted me onto his back, hands hooking beneath my knees.

We quickly resumed lockstep behind Sasori.

"I wasn't lying about any of it…" I mumbled, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

Piggyback was much better.

"Hey, what the hell happened to shutting up, yeah?"

"Just one more thing," I said.

Deidara let out a pained sigh laced with irritation. "What."

"Thank you..." I said quietly, resting my non-bruised cheek against him and closing my eyes.

"Tch…" he scoffed.

We continued on for longer than I could stay awake.

When I did awake, however, it was not as I had fallen asleep, in a faceful of blond hair.

No, it was quite different. I sat slumped in a rigid metal chair, hands tied behind my back with wire as well as my ankles to the chair legs.

The walls, floor and ceiling all seemed to be made of the same worked stone, all lit by one dim overhead lamp, it's incandescence flickering subtly from time to time.

"It's about time." A dull voice that I didn't quite recognize echoed from the back of the room. Rounding from behind, a man stood before me, staring down with sullen eyes half covered by slightly messy, red hair.

"This will either be very easy, or incredibly difficult. It all depends on you." His words flat-lined as he walked past me, leaving through an exceptionally vocal door.

Okay well if it's multiple choice let's just go with the very easy way.

It was only moments later that it squeaked open once more. Five figures filtered in, only one of whom I recognized in addition to the man I'd just seen. Deidara and the red-head were preceded by a man with many piercings and an impossibly pretty woman with blue hair. Oddly enough, an impossibly pretty man with dark hair and scarlet eyes filed in behind the others.

The pierced man stepped forward ominously, his gray, spiraling irises connecting with mine.

"As I'm sure you've already been informed, you can make this as painful as you'd like, ranging from no pain at all, to pain that you never imagined could exist. I am Pain."

Wow, what an introduction. Someone give this man an oscar.

I swallowed hard and stared up at him with a blank expression, just absolutely crapping myself internally. I was exhausted and having a hard time even keeping him in focus. He took my empty gape as a signal to continue.

"Who are you?" he asserted, barely making it a question.

"Izumi," I blurted. I couldn't even manage a full sentence and I hated the way my voice sounded as it eked out of me, timid and weak.

"Izumi is a name, it is not who you are. I do not care about your name. I'll ask again, who are you?" he pressed.

Giving this guy a solid 10/10 for intensity.

My eyes shifted to the people behind him as if any of them would help me out. They all remained stoically regarding me.

"What village are you from?" Pain followed up with another question when I took too long. I could handle this one… though I thought that about the first one too.

"Konohagakure," I answered as quickly as possible.

He nodded to himself before asking another question, "And what is your purpose?"

My tongue felt dry and swollen against the roof of my mouth.

What was with these questions? Pain seemed to be growing impatient. I tried to lick my lips before answering, but my tongue just seemed to scratch against the chapped, frayed skin.

"I think you're going to hate this answer but… I-I'm just a girl from Konoha, I was… I was running away from home. That's it, I swear," I admitted in a hurry, my eyes big and begging for him to believe me.

His irritation grew quickly, a growl murmuring in his throat.

"You expect me to believe that?" he asked in a raised voice.

Whoever said 'honesty is the best policy' deserves to be spoken to.

Before I could say anything, he continued, "You, who possess earth-style jutsus, are just some girl running away from home in the middle of the night? And you just so happened to be found listening to members of the Akatsuki? Do I have this correct?"

I winced a bit and stared up at him with a very pained expression. "God, well when you put it like that, it sounds really bad…" I murmured, mostly to myself.

"It does," he agreed coldly. "Now that we've established that, why don't you try again. This time I'd like to hear the truth."

My face was pure anguish.

How could I explain this? I was just some shut-in, reclusive bookworm that wasn't even allowed out of the house most days. I didn't understand my abilities any more than anyone else. In fact, I grew up trying to hide them.

"I-I know how it sounds... but it's the truth..." I said weakly. "That stuff with, um, what did you call it? Earth jutsu? I-I can just do that… somehow?" I offered apologetically, understanding exactly how absurd it sounded.

"How stupid do you think I am…?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

"Oh I don't think you're stupid at all!" I rushed to correct. "I think my answers are stupid, but I just… don't really have different ones? Do you guys have like... a truth serum or something I could take? I don't really know how this all works," I pleaded with the man.

Deidara let out a snorting laugh from the backline.

Pain shot him a warning look and he apologized mildly under his breath, still somewhat snickering. The dusty-red head next to him elbowed him to stop but his heart didn't seem to be in it as he too looked somewhat amused.

"You have the ability to be honest I'm sure, just not the motivation… or at least not yet." He drew near, kneeling down to eye level, our faces just inches apart.

The kunai in his hand slowly pressed into my leg.

A strained, ragged breath flew from me as I gasped out in a flurry, "I promise I'm already super motivated!" Most of it pushed through clenched teeth as he dragged the kunai toward him, carving a path down my thigh.

A shivering whine chattered from my lips as I attempted to process the pain and the gravity of my situation. Spots danced in my eyes as the pain intensified the longer he dragged it along my flesh.

"P-please… not l-lying…" I pleaded through the tears that were streaming steadily.

"Who sent you?" Pain asked in a calm, callous tone.

I cried out again and squeezed my eyes shut as he pressed in deeper, wracking my brain for an answer as my body shuddered through the torture.

"N-no one, I p-promise," I whispered through grating teeth and a sob.

I looked up past him, my tearful eyes meeting with Deidara.

My face was unintentionally pleading, he looked taken aback for a moment, perhaps confused as to why I was looking to him for help. I didn't know either. I didn't know what else to do. His shock retreated only to be replaced by uncertainty.

I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut until he stopped. Letting out the last of my crooked gasps, he pulled the kunai from my leg and stood so that he towered over my frail form.

"Itachi, see what you can do," Pain ordered.

My attention fell on the man that stepped forward. The beautiful one.

A chill ran down my spine, as if his stare alone could produce the icy wind that I swore to have felt. I gulped, staring up at him, silently wishing for him to… I don't know… be nice? It didn't seem like it wasn't working so I decided to verbally plead as well.

"Itachi, was it?" I asked, an almost permanent wince on my face as the pain continued to roll through my leg.

He regarded me silently and I was thinking that might be a 'yes' for this guy. Just a hunch.

"Listen, Itachi… It's nice to meet you, you seem great," I said, punctuated by a sob as the pain hit me in a wave. I continued rather pitifully through my tears. "I'll be honest though, I'm not doing that t-too hot over here and I don't know what kind of s-stuff you have planned, but I'd hate for you… God this hurts… ugh… for you to waste your t-time. I really am just some stupid girl with a weird talent. I-I don't know anything. Honest." My voice was small and stuttering at times and obviously warped through my crying, but I just prayed he heard somewhere in there that I was being truthful.

There was no shift in his countenance, only within his eyes and suddenly I was no longer in that room, just an open space that seemed to go on forever.

A pained sigh whizzed past my shivering teeth as I felt a cool blade meet my skin. It moved through the flesh of my stomach like a hot knife through butter.

"I recommend you start talking, this could go on for a while. I would honestly prefer not to take this route, if at all avoidable." Itachi's deep, smooth voice pulled me from my lulling unconsciousness against my will.

"I'm n-not lying, please stop..." I stuttered quietly with a sob.

The blade again. And again. It seemed to go on for hours.

I awoke with a rush, back in the room and in terrible agony, only to suddenly feel I'd never know an ounce of energy again.

"Over already?" I heard Pain ask, his voice was retreating quickly however.

"Her body was not able to withstand even a fraction of it." Itachi's voice was small too, like I was hearing it at the end of a tunnel. And soon it was gone all together.

I was alone when I awoke again. I let my head fall forward as I cried quietly to myself, tangled and sweat-drenched strands of hair veiling my face.

I had never cried so much in my life. I was usually fairly content, snacking and enjoying a good book in my room. This was a dreadful departure from my everyday life.

I lifted my head ever so slightly to peer through my mess of hair. Scanning the room, I nearly looked right over the small set of glowing yellow eyes that sat almost cautiously in the corner.

"I think she has spotted us." It seemed to be whispering to itself.

"Yes it appears she has, what should we do?"

"Kill her?"

"We can't do that, we are only supposed to watch."

"She knows we're here."

"Yes, let's go for now," The figure concluded as it began to sink into the floor.

"We should tell the others."

"Wait, please…" I croaked, not understanding what was happening. "Can't you help me?"

After several moments of silence between myself and those brilliant golden eyes, they disappeared entirely and my heart fell once again into the darkness.

Well biscuits… this doesn't seem like it'll end well….

My stomach growled and curled in on itself painfully at the mere thought of food. I didn't dare move when I heard the door creak open several moments later.

"We found something interesting in your bag, maybe you'll feel like talking now, yeah?" Deidara smirked as he stood before me.

He was holding a picture out for me to see. It was a photograph taken of me with my parents when I was a little girl, when they first adopted me. It must have been in there from a long, long time ago, it didn't hold any sentimental value.

"We know their faces now, so maybe you'd like to say something to make sure they stay out of harm's way. I'm sure you know what I mean." He smirked and looked at me, thinking he finally had me in the corner.

I was unsure how to phrase my thoughts before responding, I didn't want to come off like a heartless psychopath for some reason. It seemed like I would have been in good company.

"I… certainly don't wish them dead... but they're… oh god, how do I say this without sounding awful... We're not close? I mean I hope you don't do anything to them, obviously, but they're just kind of the least of my concern right now. Does that make sense?"

My lord, what kind of unholy word vomit was that, Izumi? Also, you are cold as ice.

I winced inwardly and briefly pondered the likelihood of there being hot springs in Hell.

Deidara deadpanned and leaned in close, his visible eye looking at me through squinted lids like he was trying to gauge my truthfulness. I hoped desperately that he was good at it.

He stayed like this for what felt like a very long time before letting out an irritated huff.

"You're really obnoxious, you know that?" He said pointedly before turning to leave.

"Thought I was just cute and dumb…" I muttered to myself. It surprised me when he let out a small laugh, apparently having heard me after all.

"Cute, dumb and obnoxious. There's not really a limit. Let's add weird to the list as well," he said.

Oh, banter. How exciting! You should give it a try.

Sure. Not like I had anything else to do.

"My list is getting rather long, I just hope you have it on a scroll with a lot of space for future additions. I imagine you'll come up with plenty of other grievances to add before you kill me."

"Making jokes in the face of death, yeah?" He folded his arms and seemed to appraise me. "Maybe they won't all be grievances," he mused before letting the door close behind him. But he wasn't gone for long.

Murmurs filled the corridor that led to my holding room, and right on cue, the door swung open and in filed the same group as before.

"We're going to try this again. I hope you've had enough time to think about the situation you're in and understand the gravity of it," Pain started in right away.

"Yes…" I murttered, annoyed with the condescending tone, like I didn't understand the predicament I was in. I understood it a lot better than he did.

I'm the one with a big ol' slicey-slice down my thigh, bud.

I looked toward Deidara briefly and he just smirked at my irritated expression.

"What were you doing in the forest that night my men found you?" he asked pointedly.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, growing tired of having to provide truthful answers that I knew wouldn't cut it. "I was leaving my village, running away..." I said with a sigh.

"Why?" He followed up quickly. Now this was a new question. I paused, almost in shock that I might be given the chance to explain myself.

"It's um, it's complicated…" I began hesitantly, not sure how much he'd really care to hear it. "I overheard a conversation between my parents and someone else. You see, they adopted me when I was 6 and… well that doesn't matter I guess..." I trailed off and shook my head, trying to keep my thoughts in order and just answer the question concisely. "Anyway, I overheard them with someone else, some man, and it sounded like they were going to send me off with him. I mean they were practically begging for him to take me and I just kind of… freaked out and left," I confessed, trying to gauge his reaction.

"So what you're telling me... is that you're simply a civilian with a bad relationship with her parents…?" He questioned.

"Yes?" I offered with a wince. I could tell he wasn't buying it.

"And how can I be sure that you're telling the truth? If you are truly not a kunoichi then how did you know the jutsu you used in the woods?" Pain's spiraled eyes drilled coldly into mine.

"I don't know," I whined, exasperated, which seemed to draw Pain's ire.

To my surprise, Deiadara stepped forward. "This girl doesn't seem like much of a ninja, yeah? When I hit her, she toppled over like nothing, even a low-grade kunoichi can take a punch better than that. Just look at her muscle mass, she barely has any."

Okay... feeling really attacked here.

"True…" Pain contemplated, "but what about her jutsu?" he followed up.

"It's just a… a talent?" I groaned. "Dirt, rocks, fire, w-water, um what else... trees? I can just do stuff with them…I-I don't know how, I swear."

Pain stepped back, regarding me with an expression I couldn't quite pin down.

"Pain." It was the first time I heard the woman in back speak.

Her voice was even and her eyes held no emotion as she called him over to her. She said something to him far too softly for me to hear.

Pain's eyes passed over me with a glint of calculation as he listened intently before moving over to Itachi. He relayed something briefly, gesturing for the others to leave.

Everyone but Itachi filed out of the room. He stared at me for a moment with an unreadable expression, half-covered by his cloak. I felt numb, my leg caked with dried blood and throbbing something fierce.

"Come with me," Itachi said as he cut my bindings and stood before me.

As gorgeous as he was, he frightened the beans out of me, whether I wanted to admit it or not, so I would follow his orders no matter what. I worried time was up though, perhaps he was taking me to be killed.

I tried to stand and failed miserably.

Groaning as I hit the ground, I struggled to get myself up. Itachi loomed, simply watching. Pulling myself to my knees using the chair, I managed to push my body to its feet. It was like my veins were filled with kerosene and someone lit the match in my leg.

Yep. That's infected.

"Follow me," Itachi said calmly, turning his back to me and heading towards the door. I stepped away from the chair, but the second I lost it's stability, I dropped to the ground in a pathetic heap once more.

"Ugh, just kill me here…" I grumbled, no longer interested in trying to stand. "No need to take me behind the shed or wherever you normally do it… here is fine," I assured with a tired wave, my breath ragged and shallow, eyes wincing shut from the sharp pain.

When I didn't hear a response, I looked up to see that Itachi had stopped, his back to me, just standing there in front of the door.

In a split second he was gone and I felt myself being lifted from the ground. Like everything else lately, it all happened so quickly that I couldn't comprehend it in real time.

Bewildered, I looked up to see Itachi's aloof face. He didn't look at or even acknowledge me, just continued forward through the doorway, my body draped between his arms.

Behind the shed it is, then.

We traveled through a series of labyrinth-like hallways before we entered a room. A room that was distinctly not a murder shed.

He laid me on a bed, my body sinking in gratefully. It was the most comfort I had experienced in what felt like a lifetime.

The room was smaller than my previous holding chamber and the décor was simple but elegant to my surprise. Dark mahogany floors stood in contrast to the cream colored walls that were adorned with various weapons and traditional art pieces.

"This is… your room?" I asked quietly, realizing halfway through that he would probably prefer I don't talk. Itachi looked at me and followed my eyes regarding the space.

"It is," he stated. Then back to silence.

"It's nice," I said, still looking around, not really sure what to do with myself in the too-silent room.

"...You're trying to make conversation with someone that just tortured you?" Itachi hesitated to ask, only affording me a glance as he milled about the room.

I grimaced. It wasn't like I had many options.

"I wouldn't go so far as to call it conversation. That would require two active parties…" I muttered.

"You're saying I'm not an active party." He seemed vaguely amused.

"I'm saying you're quiet, at the very least."

"You're perceptive."

So first he tortures me and now he's teasing me?

"Well you'll have to forgive me, my brain is on the slower side. Lack of blood, I suspect. Possibly a head injury. Who's to know?" I knew it wasn't the time to be snarky but I couldn't resist.

"Hm."

It was all he had to say as he silently appraised me. He turned away to fumble through his drawers, eventually pulling out some clothes and setting them at the end of the bed.

"I apologize, these won't fit you very well... Kakuzu will be in shortly to bandage your wound," he said with his back to me, shutting the drawers. As he left, I murmured a thank you. He paused for only brief moment before shutting the door behind him.

I didn't think I had seen this "Kakuzu" yet, and judging by the other members of the Akatsuki, I couldn't even guess as to what he would be like. So I sat in silence with my thoughts as I waited.

My current situation was perplexing. I was being given clothes and having my wounds treated... so I must have said something right for once.

I replayed the conversation in my head on repeat but couldn't figure out what Pain heard that made me worth keeping alive.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! If you made it through that long first chapter you should feel proud XD I appreciate any and all comments and kudos! 3

Quick point of order, I started this story around 2009, so despite revisions, some silly plot devices are present, especially at the beginning, forgive me :3 starts a little slow for my tastes, but if you like a mix of dialogue/banter heavy, silly, drama, romance, hurt/comforty angst type stuff, this is for you. If not, goodbye, thank you for trying, I really do appreciate it!

Honestly, this story just started as me going, hey what would happen if the Akatsuki had to take in this sort of klutzy, cute mess of a human that manages to emotionally disarm them over time?

And thus the cinnamon roll Izumi was born.

Chapter 2: Hidden Past

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The sudden swing of the door was the only warning I had for the man that entered after.

Some objective thoughts: Tall, masked, stitched, has eyes.

Some subjective ones, for balance: Lumbering, probably an eldritch abomination, oh dear lord what have I done to deserve this, eyes that both peer into my soul and and tear it to shreds.

In resisting the urge to tear the blankets over my head, it subconsciously recessed into my neck giving me about four chins. A good first impression.

He barely regarded me as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my leg toward him, a knife readied in his other hand.

"Whoa! Wh-what are you doing?" I shrieked, apparently finding my voice and then some, though I snapped my mouth shut at the sight of his expression. I got the district impression he wasn't fun at parties.

"My job," he all but growled, methodically cutting off my pant leg. "Or would you prefer I rip them off you?"

I shook my head quickly, my voice jolting up an octave. "Nope. Nope, cutting is fine. Good, even! I like it a lo-"

"Would you shut up," he gritted, discarding the soiled fabric on the floor.

I nodded vehemently, not even daring to utter so much as a 'yes'.

Shutting up seemed easy enough, that was, until, I paid a lick of attention to what he was doing to my leg. A piece of thread from his own flesh loosened and snaked toward me.

I repeat, a piece of thread... from his own flesh... loosened and snaked toward me!?

"What is that!?" I squealed, yanking away instinctually. Trying to, anyway. My mouth hung agape in disgust and my neck folded into my shoulders, but his other hand held me in place.

He took a deep breath like it was the only thing stopping him from killing me. "What... did we just talk about..."

I should have been scared, but I was too busy being freaked out and frankly, my two brain cells could only handle so much at once. "Didn't you say this is your job?! Shouldn't you, like... I don't know! Warn a girl before you stitch her up with some cursed, sentient thread!?"

This can't be sanitary.

Even through his mask I could tell his face wrenched into an angry grimace. "It's as much my job as yours is shutting your mouth. Think of it as other duties as assigned. Understand?"

I huffed and muttered a resigned 'yes', clutching the bedspread as I watched him go back to work.

Hissing the moment my skin was pierced, he took a moment to glare at me before carrying on with obvious and almost intentional disregard for my comfort.

"That hurts!" I whined, pulling back again which I learned only made it worse.

"Whoever told me you were quiet was a goddamn liar," he mumbled to himself before taking a breath and ramping up to a stern command. "Sit still or I will make you sit still."

Even with no expectations, Kakuzu was certainly not what I expected. Maybe he did have the most medical knowledge in group, but he also had a straight up smelly garbage bedside manner.

Upon further assessment of my predicament, I decided that I would, indeed, shut up this time for real.

I wasn't a fan—this whole being afraid thing—I wasn't used to it. I missed my room. I missed my books and all the characters they held, my only friends, imaginary as they were. The comfort of knowing the scariest thing that might happen could only occur in the form of ink sprawled across parchment and maybe a papercut.

"Where the fuck is he!?" Yelling echoed from down the hall into the room. Kakuzu closed his eyes, brows pinching in irritation.

"Hey, Kakuzu!" Louder this time, drawing near quickly.

"This fucking guy…" Kakuzu muttered under his breath with a shake of his head. Considering he kind of seemed to hate everything based on our brief time together, I wasn't sure what to make of this.

A gleam of silver was the first thing I noticed when the figure burst into the room, practically taking the door off its hinges. He was tall and shirtless and despite his obvious good looks, looked rather villainous. Probably something to do with the psychotic look in his purple eyes, but I couldn't be sure. It could have been the whole slicked-back hair thing too.

Purple eyes though. Purple best color.

True. He couldn't be all that bad. They were actually very pretty, his eyes. A strange hue of violet unlike anything I'd seen before. I realized my mouth had fallen agape in all my staring and I promptly snapped it shut.

"Hidan…" Kakuzu acknowledged the man. Hidan ignored the greeting and looked directly at me.

"The fuck are you looking at, bitch?" He sneered.

Okay, so maybe he was all that bad.

Startled by his sudden rudeness, I snapped to look away, mumbling to myself, "Nothing, don't flatter yourself..." And to my surprise, Kakuzu heard this and chuckled under his breath which sent Hidan into a fit of rage.

"The fuck was that? You wanna say it a little louder?" he pressed, an unhinged slant to his features as he reached for a weapon strapped to his back.

Um no, not feeling super incentivized to do that, thanks.

"Hidan." The tone of Kakuzu's voice implied something more than just a name. It was a warning, no mistaking it.

"Oh, like I give a shit. She's fucking done." Before Hidan could make a move towards me, he was pinned against the wall.

I watched, my mouth blubbering idiotically like gasping fish, as Kakuzu's arm flew from his body and held Hidan's throat against the wall, his feet dangling and kicking to get free. He sputtered out a few profanities before calming down with a roll of his eyes. Kakuzu withdrew his arm back to his body, reattaching it in a matter of seconds, if that. Hidan glared at him while putting his scythe away.

Oh good, so that's all you have to do to get him to calm down.

"What did you want?" Kakuzu asked, clearly annoyed with his antics.

"We have a mission and you're in here trying to get laid or some shit."

"And you're revolting!" I snapped, shooting him the nastiest look I could muster in my exhausted state.

"Whatever." He waved off my comment, not even looking at me. "Just come get me when you're fucking done." He slammed the door behind him.

"Well… he's a real peach," I muttered and Kakuzu grunted in agreement as he tied the last bandage. During all of the drama, he had apparently finished up without my noticing.

Nice.

"Hey, it's Kakuzu, right?" I asked as he gathered his things.

"Yes."

"And you're the one that knows a lot about medicine, right?"

"...Something like that," he replied vaguely, annoyed that I was stopping him from leaving.

"Can I ask you a question then?"

"No," He replied flatly.

I paid it no mind. "Can someone die from being too tired?" Punctuating it with an unintentional but aptly timed yawn.

"God, I hope so," he muttered, stepping out and shutting the door behind him.

Rude.

Sleep came and went and I awoke to a rough tapping on the forehead. One Itachi Uchiha loomed over me and he made for just about the most intimidating alarm clock in the world. The bed would have been compromised had I a full bladder.

In all fairness to him though, it wasn't all his fault. There was the loomy-ness factor, sure, but a big part of it was simply waking up in a bed that wasn't mine, brain scrambling to recall that I'd been taken captive by a group of shinobi criminals.

You know, normal stuff.

"Time to get up, Pain would like to meet with you," Itachi relayed calmly.

"Oh. That's... great," I said, trying really hard not to sound like Pain scared the living bejesus out of me. The amused raise of Itachi's brow let me know I'd failed.

"Suppose I should make sure these legs work," I muttered, swinging them over the edge of the bed, toes not quite reaching the floor.

"Reasonable assessment," Itachi agreed, standing back and watching.

"Mm, one might say that it... stands to reason?" I delivered the horrible joke expertly and waited for a well-deserved chuckle.

Itachi just stared at me, blinking.

"It's a pun!" I exclaimed, entirely incredulous at his lacking response.

"Oh. I'm aware."

"It was funny!"

"It was something."

I balked at him and all of his nerve, and that, that was what seemed to pull the smallest wisp of a smile from him. I scoffed, pretending it wasn't plenty satisfying.

"Okay well, you're rude. It was a good pun," I attested as I tied my short hair back into a little stump at the base of my neck. It was a tragic attempt to look cleaner than I was.

"Less puns, more standing," Itachi suggested and I wrinkled my nose at him, pushing off the bed.

It was painful but bearable. Kakuzu had applied an ointment to help with recovery which I was immensely grateful for at that moment. Itachi's clothes hung loose on my body, causing me to look so super cool having to constantly hike the pants up, lest I give everyone a free show.

I'd figured out by that point that I wasn't going to be killed, and in fact, I was perhaps needed somehow by this organization. I had tested the waters a little with Hidan, and Kakuzu's order to stand down confirmed it. I hoped it was time to figure out exactly why I was there.

I followed Itachi through winding corridors until we finally reached a large black door. It opened before Itachi knocked. Pain looked past him at me, his eyes like vortexes drawing me in.

"Come in," he commanded. I did as he said with haste and even a smile, not looking to get stabbed again.

Itachi did not follow, and the door shut behind us with a wheeze. I felt like it sucked the breath out of me from under the crack, leaving me gasping to regain it as I sat down where he directed. He sat across, along with the blue-haired woman at his side.

"I want to talk about your life prior to your adoption," he said in a demanding tone.

The guy had, as the kids would say, no chill. He couldn't even start with some small talk? A 'good morning, sorry about the stabbing'? But sure, I could talk about that if it pleased him so.

"There isn't much to tell," I sighed, seeing he was already annoyed. "It's just that… I don't really remember."

"Do try." He stared at me to continue.

I rubbed my temples, wondering how the heck I was suppose to try to remember better. "So I was six when I was adopted. I know that. I've been told that I was found on the edge of Konoha. I guess I was malnourished, had some injuries, that kind of thing... but I didn't remember how I got there, even back then. Again, this is just what I've been told. Honest to God, I really don't know," I offered apologetically.

"And you had these nature-centric abilities at that age?" Pain questioned.

"Oh yeah I did…" I replied darkly, remembering some not-so-great times. "Let's just say I wasn't great at controlling them back then… not that I'm exceptional now of course. But when you're a kid throwing a tantrum and you have the ability to say, I don't know, manipulate fire? Sometimes your house gets burned down by accident…" I recalled grimly.

"And no one explained this gift to you?" The hazel-eyed woman interjected.

I shook my head with a laugh. "Gift? They were afraid of me, my adoptive parents that is. They just kept me inside as much as possible, away from other people or anything that could get me in trouble."

Pain and the woman exchanged a knowing glance.

"Do… do you know what's wrong with me?" I asked.

The woman answered first. "I wouldn't call it wrong. But let me ask you this, have you ever heard of the Ten'yo?"

The word sounded familiar but I couldn't place it. I shook my head. She continued.

"There exists a legend of a group of people who lived in the mountains, their exact whereabouts unknown, however they had great abilities—a certain connection to nature that was unparalleled. They were called the Ten'yo. It was said they were here on this planet to protect and co-exist with the Gods' creation of nature. They received their gift from the water that produced atop their mountain."

All too suddenly, the sounds of running water rushed and flooded my ears, so loudly in fact that I felt compelled to clap my hands over them, wincing in pain for several moments before the noise began to recede. I looked up to Pain and the woman to see if they too had heard the bizarre sound, but they merely returned my gaze, intensely waiting.

"You didn't hear that?" I asked incredulously.

"Hear what exactly?" The woman asked in return.

Oh lord, these people are already making me insane.

"The spring…?" I whispered with uncertainty. Cloudy memories and visions of a gold-flecked mountain spring flickered in and out of my head. My brows knitted together, trying hard to concentrate on recalling more details.

"So you are the last of the Ten'yo." Pain affirmed out loud, regarding me coolly like usual. I stared at him in horror.

"Wh-what do you mean last?" I demanded, still cradling my head.

"There was an attack about twelve years ago, right around the time you arrived in Konoha. The spring you are recalling is legendary, sacred, if you will. Should one try to drink from it without a ceremony and express permission from the Ten'yo, your soul would not be blessed, but rather taken and recycled into nature. None of the attackers returned from that mountain. The legend of the spring was well-known, the curse was not. It is largely assumed that attackers killed all of the Ten'yo without knowing about this, and when they drank from the spring…" he didn't continue, I understood.

"Oh…" I paused and looked at him wearily, "so what do you want from me?"

"You will lead us to the spring and allow us to consume it, after that I will free you in light of your service."

I began shaking my head, my hands slapping against the table in front of me. "I don't even know where it is, you know that," I reminded him with frustration.

"You will stay with us until you find it." He asserted calmly. I knew this wasn't going to go anywhere.

"I don't know where it is," I reaffirmed, hoping that pointing out that minor detail again would show his severely flawed logic.

"You had forgotten about the spring until this conversation, correct?"

I nodded. "Yes?"

"I suspect there is another person at play here. Someone that didn't want you to remember… or at least not until the time was right. We will examine you for any memory-altering seals and work to destroy them which can be a... touchy process. After that, Itachi has a way to help you regain these memories more naturally using his sharingan."

My mouth made a popping noise as my jaw dropped in disbelief. "Oh, no way! You can't expect me to agree to this... I'll… I'll kill myself before I let him do that again!" I threatened a bit dramatically without even thinking about what I was saying, glaring at him intensely, examining his face as he examined mine in return.

"You will calm down," he ordered, leaning in slightly towards me. A sudden chill jolted through me and I sat back, unclenching my fists.

Yes, I think I shall do just that.

"He won't be using it to hurt you. However if you don't comply, he will," he clarified. That seemed like an important detail he may have thought to mention up front...

A thick silence settled. I looked at the ceiling and fidgeted in my seat..

"You may leave," he finally said.

"Lovely…" I mumbled, quickly limping out of the room. I shut the door behind me and realized that I had no clue where I was.

"This way," a woman's voice chimed softly from behind, startling the biscuits out of me.

"I'm Konan, by the way," she added, walking ahead of me. I followed quietly as we passed through corridor after corridor.

"He's not as bad as he seems," Konan eventually offered to break the silence.

"Which one… Pain?"

"Yes," she affirmed before adding, "he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I hope you can look past his… intense demeanor. His intentions are good."

"'Intense' is certainly a word for it," I mumbled, pulling a wide-eyed face. She looked back at me with the hint of a smile before her eyes took on a strange, far-off look.

"I apologize," she said with a frown. "I'm needed elsewhere right now. Continue on down this path and you'll eventually make it to the common area."

She was gone before I could respond, dissolving into thousands of pieces of paper before my eyes.

"Well, okay then…" I murmured, scratching my head and pretending that was normal. I continued on, taking twists and turns not knowing where they led, attempting to follow her instructions as best I could. Eventually I found myself at a staircase.

Definitely don't remember going up any stairs…

I huffed loudly in frustration.

You'd think they'd provide a map or something if they're gonna be holding you hostage.

I turned on my heel only to bump into something very large. "Sorr—" I stared up at a giant blue man before me, his grin was wicked across his face, stretched in place with teeth pointing.

"The hell's a little girl like you doing in a place like this?" he asked playfully with a heavy hand on my shoulder. At first it was to catch me from falling backwards, but then I feared it was to keep me from running. Who the heck was this guy? I couldn't fight, or run, I had to bluff.

You could try telling the truth.

Yes, because that always went so well for me.

Forgoing all logic, I was already one foot into a half-baked lie which, for whatever reason, had me attempting an accent of unknown origin. "Oh, you know, just cleaning! Because I'm... the new cleaning lady!"

Well this is fun. Guess we're doing this.

I did my best to attempt a genuine smile, but apparently it came off as pain because he asked if I had a headache.

"No, no! You boys are just… just so messy! It's all this dust! Achoo!" I laughed nervously and produced a horribly fake sneeze. "See?" I asked with another dithery laugh, taking a shaky step back as he loomed over me. This guy was even bigger than Kakuzu.

This is somehow going worse than I thought possible.

"I- uh… I…" I stuttered as he took another step forward and I fell back even more until I hit the rock wall behind me.

"Cleaning lady, huh? Somehow… I doubt that," he grinned again, his teeth glinting mysteriously bright in the dim light. I felt so tiny as he boxed me against the wall, his palms slapping against the stone beside my head. "You look more like dinner to me."

I panicked, not knowing what to do and pinned against the wall. I shut my eyes and wished I could just disappear. A bizarre feeling whirled inside of my stomach as I felt like I was falling.

Oh boy, here we go again.

Notes:

Sorry it's slow to start, need to get through introductions and set up plot points in a semi-natural way *dodges rotten lettuce and a variety of other vegetables*

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any and all comments and kudos!

Chapter 3: Settling In

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"What the hell!" The blue man's voice faded out and I landed with a thud, a wall between us now. Opening my eyes, I scrambled to my feet and began frantically patting myself all over to make sure I was solid again. Before I even had a chance to process what had happened, a familiar voice shattered my thoughts.

"Can I help you?" It asked, confused and irritated. My neck slowly creaked in the direction of the source to see it was the same guy from before with the dusty red hair. He was sitting on his bed surveying several scrolls sprawled out across it.

"Oh!" I yelped, clapping my hand to my heart and breathing in heavily.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what just happened," I began sputtering off faster than any human should speak. "There was a blue guy, and he wanted to eat me or something? And I closed my eyes, and now here I am I guess. I'm not sure what happened. Did you see what happened? I don't know anything." I stumbled over the sentences during my severe case of verbal diarrhea, spitting the words through gaps in my heavy breathing.

He just stared at me for an awkward moment before asking, "What?"

"Exactly!" I exclaimed, leaning against the wall, slapping my palm against my forehead. Suddenly the door burst open.

"Hey Sasori, have you seen—"

"Ah!" I shrieked as the blue man came crashing into the room.

"There she is!"

"There he is!"

We shouted in unison as he lunged towards me and I leaped out of the way, scrambling under the bed as fast as I could.

"Oh no you don't! I'm hungry!" He grabbed my ankle and yanked me out, causing a terrible pain in my leg. I thrashed around and latched onto the foot of the bed as a last resort.

"Let go!" he yelled over my screams.

"Get off me! I don't want to be eaten!" He suddenly let go, I fell back onto the floor with a thud.

"Wait, what? You thought I wanted to eat you?" The man began laughing raucously, his hand on his stomach to ease the apparent pain of how hilarious this all was.

"Well I'm glad one of us is enjoying ourselves..." I said with a pointed look, still breathing heavily.

"I'm hungry, I wanted you to cook dinner," he managed to get out his sentence through boisterous chuckles. I glowered at him for a moment with the slightest hint of humor in my eyes. Maybe it was a tiny bit funny, though I was mostly just relieved to not be devoured.

"You may want to rethink your phrasing in the future," I noted.

"Hmm I'll consider it," he offered casually which made me think he would most certainly not consider it. He turned his attention to the man on the bed who seemed to just be staring at the situation with mild amusement. "Sasori, you seem to know this girl. Too busy to say anything that might have resolved that whole situation?"

"I'm sorry," I interjected, "but did you just call him Sasori? Because I met Sasori and this is not him. Sasori was terrifying and huge." I did my best charades impression of a giant scorpion-thing. This garnered a chuckle from the supposed Sasori and aquatic man.

"I changed my look," he said with a shrug. "Sorry I'm not more terrifying and huge."

"Ugh!" I threw my arms up in defeat. Could nothing just be simple anymore?

"So she's the one boss was talking about?" The blue one asked Sasori. He nodded.

"I'm Kisame," he said as he reached an arm out for me. "Sorry about all of that." he grinned and I got the distinct sense that he wasn't.

"Izumi," I replied as I took his hand, expecting it to be slimy or something. They were rough, but not wet. I hissed softly through my teeth as I stood. You could faintly see the blood from my wound seeping through the bandages and pants which I hiked up once more.

Great, thanks Kisame.

"What's wrong?" Kisame asked as I stumbled when he let go, unaware of any previous torture wounds that he had opened up.

"I just need a sec…" I said with a wince, more to myself than to him as I held on to the corner bed post. I heard Sasori sigh from the bed and shift. Without warning his arm was around my back as he scooped me up.

"You opened her wounds, baka," he tutted at Kisame.

Kisame stared in confusion, following me and Sasori from the room. "What wounds? I didn't know!"

Later that day, Pain held a meeting with all the Akastuki members and me while they were still present within the complex. I had put it together that this organization mostly worked in pairs and were in a constant rotation of missions, meaning you'd never know who would be around at the base at any given time. Exciting or anxiety-inducing? It was too early to tell.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, suddenly feeling like a minnow surrounded by sharks as the Akatsuki members filtered into the meeting chamber and took their seats around me.

"I'll make this brief as I know we all have other important business to attend to," Pain began. Konan made her way around the table, quietly serving tea to each member.

"Oh, um, thank you," I said with a little surprise as she delicately poured the steaming liquid into the teacup in front of me. I had always been the one doing the serving, never in my life had someone poured me a cup of tea. She gave me a barely detectable nod before moving across the room and taking her seat beside Pain.

Pain gestured toward me, "This is Izumi. Effective immediately, she is to be considered an asset of The Akatsuki. This means she will not be harmed, on the contrary, her well-being is to be preserved until her function has been fulfilled."

There was a certain rigidness to me as I tried to act natural and drink my tea while being talked about as if I weren't there or even entirely human. I was some sort of temporary collateral that would eventually bring value to them, as long as I could do my part anyway. Pain continued on, explaining my role in detail and what I could, in theory , provide.

I could feel the scrutinizing eyes of every member on me. My mind raced, wondering what they were all thinking. Were they sizing me up? I wasn't much to look at, not compared to a kunoichi, and I got the sense that many of them questioned my usefulness. I couldn't blame them, I had the same doubts. Pain had explained that if I took too long to produce results, the project would be terminated . I assumed that also meant me.

No pressure or anything.

"I trust everyone understands. Are there any questions?" he concluded.

"More of a suggestion, really," Hidan piped up, leaning back in his chair with his hand casually in the air. I scowled at him from my seat, already sensing a rude remark coming my way.

"Shouldn't we put one of those cat bells on her? I mean if she's allowed to just roam around this place freely, we should have something in place to make sure she's not wandering where she shouldn't," Hidan offered with an arrogant smirk, clearly finding himself to be pretty funny.

Pain paused for a moment before responding. "Despite the intended absurdity of that recommendation, I'm not against implementing something along those lines. Maintaining an effective monitoring system will be necessary to protect our investment." My jaw dropped and I snapped a dirty look at the silver-haired man who seemed to very much enjoy my reaction. He smiled broadly and winked in my direction.

"Izumi," Pain addressed me directly and I quickly snapped back to him. "That being said, you are to stay within the confines of this base unless accompanied by an Akatsuki escort. You will not be permitted to enter the lower levels for your own safety. If you disobey any of these guidelines, there will be consequences. Do you understand?"

I nodded quickly with a hard swallow.

"If no one else has any questions, we'll adjourn this meeting," Pain finished as he stood, leaving immediately with Konan following close behind. I was thankful that Kakuzu had ushered Hidan away quickly as well. Apparently they were already late to leave for a mission, so that worked out in my favor.

Itachi was the first to approach me as the others began to stand up as well. "It would appear we'll be working closely together," his voice was low and steady. I nodded hesitantly, wondering where he was going with this. He leaned in slightly, lowering his height to be closer to my own and spoke again in an even quieter tone, "I hope you can eventually look past my prior offenses towards you. It was not personal and not something I intend to repeat."

I assumed he was talking about the torture.

Oh sure, I'm over it already! Not.

He moved past me almost as soon as he finished talking and I just stood there feeling sweaty and out of place.

"Hey yeah, about that, un," Deidara quickly stepped into the space Itachi had just left. "Sorry about the uh, indiscretions or whatever he said, yeah?" he added with a smile.

"You tried to blow my head off," I reminded him bluntly. He looked up and scratched the back of his head and let out a weak, apologetic laugh.

"True," he recalled. "Well like I said, that's my bad. But remember when I got Pain to stop torturing you?" He asked with some hopeful expectancy before quickly following up, "that's gotta count for something, right?"

I knew I shouldn't like him. I had just reminded him that he tried killing me, yet I found myself feeling the need to remind me of that minor detail as well. As messed up as it was to admit, this was probably the most anyone had talked to me in a single day since I could remember and I couldn't help but enjoy the company a little.

"Leave her alone, Deidara," Sasori walked over coolly and chided his partner with a disapproving look. I smiled and gave him a small grateful glance.

"It's okay," I assured with a wave of my hands.

Sasori leaned in quietly to say, "you let me know if he gives you trouble," before making his way toward the door, dragging Deidara behind him.

"Hey kid, looks like you're stuck with us for a while." Kisame jeered with a toothy smile as he began to push me toward the door well, chuckling at my overwhelmed expression. "So can you cook?" he asked as we shuffled forward. Talk about a one-track mind. A set of glowing yellow eyes followed us intently as we made our way out.

A couple weeks went by and I was feeling more at ease with my new environment. I'd been confined to "bed" rest for the entire period (and by bed I mean a couch), depriving me of any sunlight since we were located underground. I felt strange without it, like something was missing about me. Pain said it was my heritage and my connection with nature. However, he wanted me healed quickly so that I could begin the process of these "recollection sessions", whatever that involved. The only thing I knew about it was that Itachi was the only one capable of digging up my memories after they figured out the whole memory-seal situation. I didn't understand but I was told that I would see why when it happened.

The complex was peaceful most of the time, however I was told that it was rare and not to get used to it. I assumed it was because Hidan and Kakuzu had been away on a long mission and would be arriving back today.

Oh joy.

I spent most of my waking hours reading in the common room since I didn't have an area of my own. "Do you think this is a hotel?" Pain was quick to answer when I first asked. Apparently people needed to be able to keep an eye on me or something. Much to my chagrin, I had also been given a set of anklets with small, gold bells woven into them that chimed every time I even thought about moving, or so it seemed.

Thanks, Hidan.

Even without the bells, what was I going to do, escape from a group of highly skilled shinobi?

Been there, tried that, didn't work, would not recommend.

"So what's on the menu today, shorty?" Kisame rested his elbow on the top of my head and craned his neck to see into the pot I was stirring. Cooking was one of the things I had been tasked with back home on occasion so I was content to do it for the Akatsuki as well, seeing as none of them seemed too adept.

"None of your business," I stuck my tongue out and brushed him off.

"Aw c'mon, it smells so good though," he whined and gave me the single most frightening pouty face I had ever seen.

"Kisame… first of all, I'm going to need you to never make that face again. Ever. Let's get that straight. Secondly, it's a surprise, so shoo !" I waved my hand at him and he sulked over into the living room, grumbling something about his stomach. It wasn't really a surprise, I just wanted to get rid of him, besides, anyone with a nose could tell it was pork belly ramen night. Within the hour, everyone had filtered into the kitchen.

"It's about time we had a woman in the house, un." Deidara licked his lips while sitting down at the table, everyone else following suit. I shot him a disapproving look, at which he just grinned back. He made comments like that all the time to try to get my goat. Admittedly, my goat was easily gettable. I tried to hide my own smirk.

"Is Konan not a woman?" I retorted.

"Well sure, but she doesn't cook, un!" he explained with some frustration.

"The horror," I proclaimed with mock disgust. "So what did you guys do for food before me then?" I asked, hands on my hips.

They all just groaned at the memory. I giggled, "Wow, that bad huh?"

Sasori shot me a deadly look. "You have no idea and I don't even eat. Listening to these guys whine was torture enough..."

Pain and Konan rarely joined what I referred to as "Akastuki family dinner" in my head. They were usually mysteriously busy or absent, and without Hidan and Kakuzu it was pretty easy to feed everyone so I really didn't mind. Speaking of…

"What the fuck! I come back and you're all eating without me!" Hidan burst through the door looking aggressive as usual. Kakuzu followed quietly, slightly perking up at the site of fresh food.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any and all comments and kudos!

Chapter 4: Awkward Interactions

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Where'd you guys order from? And why is the dumb bitch still here?" Hidan asked casually. I stuck my tongue out at him as he dumped his stuff on the floor and stalked over. That was apparently rather amusing to him as it put quite the broad smile on his face before flipping me off.

"Actually, this dumb bitch has been cooking for us, pretty good too, yeah!" Deidara certainly had a way with words… screwing them up at least.

I coughed to clear my throat, raising my hand to speak, "I'd actually like to point out that I'm not a dumb bitch, thank you very much." I feigned an overly sweet smile at Hidan. Some of the guys laughed, Hidan didn't even hear it, he was too busy shoveling food straight from the pot into his mouth. Disgusting. He caught the look I was giving him.

"Hey fuck off, I've been on mission for two weeks," he said with a shrug and an errant noodle dangling from his lip.

"Gladly…" I cleared my bowl and left the table. Too much testosterone for me. Although I generally enjoyed the company of of the various members.

Sasori was very level-headed and calming to be around, though he had a bit of a sassy side too. Deidara, his partner, was quite the opposite—not as vulgar as Hidan, but still up there sometimes. He was entertaining to be around, and once in a while he was even nice (emphasis on once in a while ). Pain was a businessman, no-nonsense, and I mostly just tried to stay in his good graces. Konan intimidated the hell out of me with her quiet confidence, but she was hardly around-at least she was kind though. Kisame was fun to joke around with, I never had to worry about pushing his buttons, as opposed to his partner. Itachi was interesting… he was always calm, but I had a feeling it was just the surface I was seeing. He made me nervous in a way I couldn't really explain, which could have easily just been the stories I knew of him from my time in Konoha. Zetsu was quiet, I hadn't really talked with him because I could never find him, apparently he was away gathering information a lot of the time. I barely knew Kakuzu and Hidan, but based on what I'd experienced, that was fine with me.

But as bizarre as it seemed, especially for how I came to find myself in that crazy place, for the first time since I had left my home, I felt almost… comfortable?

Hah, it's called Stockholm Syndrome, girl.

Itachi came over and sat on the other end of the couch after dinner. I never knew how to interact with him and it usually ended with a case of verbal diarrhea on my part. So for these reasons, I pretended not to notice him in favor of feigning hyper-concentration on the closest book to me, snatching it and flipping open to a random page. The book seemed to be about plants, but it was tough to say considering it was in a different language. Boy, was my plan backfiring.

"Izumi," Itachi eventually addressed me.

"Oh, hi Itachi!" I pretended to just notice him, clapping the book shut and giving him my undivided attention.

Stop being a spaz, you know he notices everything.

"We will begin the process tomorrow." He was talking about the memory recovery process. I nodded in agreement.

"Right… So do I need to do anything for it? Bring anything? Will we need snacks? I don't really know what to expect," I rambled, a certain timidity to my voice. My palms began to sweat. Why did they always sweat around him? I wouldn't pretend that he wasn't obviously attractive, but that should not have been enough to elicit such an annoying physical response. Plenty of these guys were attractive and it didn't happen with them.

You're an idiot if you think any of them would even look twice at you.

Hah. Like I wasn't well aware of that.

"None of that will be necessary," Itachi said. "We'll meet in the morning to go over the rest." His eyes flickered over me once before getting up. "Oh, and Izumi."

"Yes?"

"How are you enjoying that book? I didn't know you could read latin," he asked with a raised brow. My mouth moved to make words several times as I glanced between the book and him but nothing of substance came out until I managed this gem...

"It's great, I-I just love the pictures!" I quickly leafed through it, no pun intended, and noticed with a frown that there were no pictures. He seemed to be well aware of this fact too judging by the highly amused look on his face.

WHY are you like this?

"Well… this one anyway," I said, quite ruffled, snapping the book shut and slapping the cover which had an old fern drawn on it.

Smooth.

"It is a lovely fern," he agreed with a nod, still that smug sort of look on his face, and spared me any further embarrassment by leaving.

Deidara quickly took his spot. "What a fucking weirdo, huh?" he asked while simultaneously stealing the book away from me.

"Hey!" I shouted as I tried stealing it back. He held it over his head as if I wouldn't be able to reach it. Admittedly I was much shorter than him, but that was true in most cases since I came in at just 4'8", a fact Deidara and Kisame liked to remind me of often.

"Really smart, Deidara" I teased as I simply stood on the couch to reach it. Although as smart as it seemed, it was not clever enough. Deidara hopped on the couch as well and placed a hand on my forehead, keeping me at arms length.

"Hah, you're one to talk, yeah?" he smirked as I wind-milled my arms in a sad, sad, attempt to retrieve the book. He yawned and began flipping through the pages with his free hand, feigning interest with a contemplative look.

"What the hell are you even reading?" he laughed upon realizing it was in freaking latin.

"Ugh, you wouldn't understand… and this isn't fair!" I cried. He looked at me, his smile growing wider as he took note of my reddened face and heavy breathing.

"You're actually trying, aren't you?" he asked between laughs.

I grunted, reaching as far as I could, but with his arm extended and my forehead on the other end of it, ah... I was hopeless.

"Just give up," he advised with a smirk. When I refused, I felt something wet on my forehead.

"Ew! Deidara, you totally just hand-licked my forehead!" I stepped away and began frantically wiping it with the bottom of my shirt. When I deemed it dry enough, I glared back at Deidara who was cracking up.

"It's not that funny," I pouted. He shrugged and sat back down with a smug little grin plastered across that face of his. "I thought it was," he doubled down.

With a defeated huff, I plopped down on the sofa as well, crossing my arms and blankly staring at the wall in front of me.

"Aw, is little Izumi mad at me, un?" he teased.

"No!" I snapped back angrily.

"I don't know. You sound pretty mad, yeah?" he jeered playfully. I didn't want to look at him because I knew once I saw his face I wouldn't be able to maintain my angry facade, but I could feel him staring which was annoying, so I eventually gave in and turned to see him pouting. I would openly admit that his pout was much more effective than Kisame's. I had to also admit that Deidara was nice to look at and I was glad he didn't make my palms sweaty.

"What's behind this?" I asked, suddenly realizing that I'd been staring at him for far too long. I reached out to move the hair covering the left side of his face. He pulled back at first, an instinctual twitch, but let me move it when he realized my intention.

"Oh that? Ah, it's just my scope."

"Why do you always wear it?" I asked, touching the cold metal and he allowed me a moment to trace the shiny edges.

"Because it's useful? Why do you wear clothes?"

I blushed and retorted more angrily than necessary. "That's not the same and you know it!"

He smirked and relaxed back on the couch. "I'm not so sure. We could find out though. Here, I'll take my scope off and you take your clothes off and we'll study the differences."

"Deidara!" I scolded, pulling the blanket tightly against me. He got a hearty chuckle out of this. "I was just wondering what you'd look like without it, geez. I mean sure, I could guess, but I don't know if you're missing an eye or something?"

He stared at me skeptically as if debating whether or not he should appease my sense of curiosity. Not without uncertainty, he eventually reached up and took a moment to pull off the scope. His hair fell back into place and he blew at it from the corner of his mouth, flicking it to the side with a jerk of his neck so I could see most of his face.

"Is it as horrifying as you expected?" he asked, feigning concern and looking to me for my reaction.

His eyes were so incredibly blue it was astounding. I stared at the tiny sunburst rings that ran around his pupil as if they could hypnotize me. He wore a cocky expression that I would never admit to him was slightly endearing. After several moments of examining him, I snapped back to reality as I realized he was doing the same to me. I suddenly became ultra self-conscious and recalled he had actually asked a question what seemed like ages ago.

"Hideous," I blurted out before looking away, praying my face was a normal shade of pale and not markedly fuchsia.

"Damn, that's savage Izumi. And here I was thinking I was pretty cute, yeah?" he whined with a cock of his head.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" I said abruptly, jumping up and stalking away with haste.

I could hear Hidan in the distance asking what my problem was and Deidara responding, "Think she's got the shits."

Good one.

I scoffed to myself, absolutely mortified. Men. You can't live with 'em, can't li—actually, it was fine just like that. The only problem was that I didn't really have anywhere to go. I'd been sleeping on that couch, now Deidara was out there and I couldn't face him at that moment. He'd know I was being weird if it wasn't obvious already.

After wandering down countless corridors, I finally came to a dead end, having absolutely no clue where I was. You'd think after having been in that place for a couple weeks I would have known the layout. It was a literal labyrinth though.

At that point I was tired. Tired of walking, tired of the stupid bells chiming with each footfall, tired of trying to find my way out of wherever I had gotten myself, just tired. So I sat down for a second, but seconds turned to minutes and sitting became laying, and before I knew it I was passed out.

Whispering sounds scratched at the back of my skull, gently bringing me into wakefulness. Blinking my eyes open, I involuntarily let out a startled yelp as bright yellow orbs danced inches from my face.

"What the heck?" I cried, scooting back against the wall, one hand over my drumming heart. Zetsu cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Did I scare you? It was kind of funny."

"You could say that," I said with a dithery laugh, still waiting for my heart rate to drop.

"What were you doing here?" he inquired out of honest curiosity.

"I guess I got lost and just fell asleep here," I admitted with a small yawn. I hated when things sound even dumber out loud than they did in my head.

"Would you like me to take you back?"

I was hesitant but he seemed sincere. His mischievous half had been relatively quiet at least.

"Um sure, thanks." I smiled at him and stood.

"You're not frightened?" he questioned, seeming somewhat stunned at my response. I looked him over, examining his expression. He was a bit child-like in a sense, showing genuine confusion over the simplest of things.

"No. Well, not enough to pass up a free escort anyway," I teased.

He smiled, and despite his pointed teeth, it was not wicked or menacing. He rose from the ground so that he towered over me and I resisted the urge to shrink away.

"Come in," he urged as his venus trap opened, and extended an arm to me. I wasn't expecting this, a simple walk back would have sufficed, but I didn't want to offend him after making him so happy. He took my hand in his, and it was nearly twice the size. Pausing with me to look, he turned my hand over gently in his and traced the lines of my palm with the tip of his pointer finger.

"So tiny…" he noted quietly before giving me a small pull. I stumbled into his arms and the plant cage enveloped us. It was dark but calming, although the air was somewhat sticky and seemed to cling to my throat before being expelled.

"This may feel strange since you're not used to it. It's going to hurt. "

"Wait, what?"

"Hold on." his voice was soothing, but warning at the same time.

Erhm… is there like an 'eject' button in this thing?

I clutched the fabric gathered around his chest and felt his arms loop around me. Reveling in his warmth for an entire millisecond, the disorienting feeling set in quick. It was sickening, my stomach twisted and my head buzzed. Everything was spinning somehow even though my eyes were closed. And suddenly, it stopped, which should have been a good thing, but it was far too abrupt. My organs tangled together and crashed against my rib cage—or at least that's what it felt like.

The trap opened and Zetsu released his hold on me. Standing upright was a tall order after that lovely little experience and I promptly tumbled from the plant, landing on my side in a fit of coughing.

"Holy Jashin, what the fuck?!" Figures Hidan would be there to witness me at my finest. His yelling would no doubt attract the attention of others as well. Sure enough…

I had lifted myself to all fours when the nausea hit me and I groaned through my coughing.

"Zetsu, did you transport her?" Itachi's voice was the first I heard beside Hidan's.

Lovely, and I was so hoping Itachi would get to see me vomit today.

"We didn't mean to hurt her… She's going to be sick. "

Clutching my stomach with one hand, my back arched violently, the first heave producing nothing but a volatile gagging noise. Voices began to surround me but I couldn't tell them apart, everything was muddled together as my stomach churned fiercely. I faintly felt someone's hands pull the hair from my face as it all came out. My throat felt as though on fire which spread into my nasal passage. Sickly heaves made way for the matter released. By the time I finished, everyone beside Pain and Konan was in the living room watching me.

I breathed in deeply and made a face at the horrible smell. Absently realizing someone was still holding my hair back, I wearily reached up and patted their hand. "Thanks whoever this is… I think I got it from here." The hands conceded, moving from my hair to under my arms, lifting me to my feet.

"Kisame, a glass of water?" Itachi said from beside me and I realized with horror that he was the one helping me over to the couch.

"Sure thing." Kisame quickly fetched a glass for me which I sucked down greedily.

"So… how's everyone's night going so far?" I asked, looking around and feeling super awkward about everyone just kind of watching me be disgusting.

"This would appear to be the highlight for most of us," Sasori conjectured.

"That's sad, you know sometimes I worry about you guys," I joked back with mock concern, rubbing at the corners of my mouth to make sure I didn't miss any puke remnants. This garnered a few chuckles.

Thank you, thank you. I'm here every night.

"You seem to be alright then?" Itachi asked, calm and even like usual. I had momentarily forgotten that he was right next to me on the couch. I swallowed and nodded.

And before that, his fingers were entwined in your hair.

I inwardly scolded myself for even thinking about it again. It wasn't exactly a flirty scenario…

"Alright, well are we not gonna talk about how that fucking reeks and you better clean it up?" Hidan complained as he grabbed his nose and waved at the air in front of him.

"We have subordinates for that, yeah?" Deidara snapped, to my surprise. I knew he could be nice sometimes.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Two in the fucking morning," Hidan scoffed.

"Um, you were already up, you're the last person who should be complaining," I managed to bite back despite the persisting burning in my throat. I recomposed myself before adding, "I'm sorry to wake all of you…and also for the smell. Hidan's not wrong, that is god awful..."

"You should sleep," Itachi instructed, apparently unaffected by the odor.

I nodded and everyone left the room, some eyeing me wearily. Holding the cool glass of ice against my forehead, I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. What a night. I glanced around for a spot to set down my drink so I could get to bed.

"I'll take it," Deidara's voice came from behind me. His hand dipped down and plucked the half-empty cup from mine and I watched as he moved into the kitchen, disappearing for a minute before returning as two sets of footsteps sounded distantly from down the hall.

"In here," Deidara called out before leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. Two gruesome looking men appeared from the corridor behind me. One carried a mop and the other, a bucket filled with assorted cleaning products. I turned my attention to Deidara, who was watching them very intensely as they began to clean the mess I had made.

"Man, we gotta get back on leader's good side," one of the men mumbled, clearly unhappy with his chore. I couldn't blame him, a 2 a.m. wakeup call to clean some idiot's puke did seem rather unpleasant. His form was hulking, covered in leathered red skin pulled taut across bulging muscles. The scars ran through him like lightning and every step he took was thunderous. He turned slightly and noticed me for the first time.

With his eyes flickering over my frozen form, I felt as though Medusa had set her gaze upon me. Our gazes connected for a terrifying moment, his were the blackest I'd ever seen, with bright red pupils that sat diamond-like in obsidian. His lip curled into a smirk. I hadn't noticed how much I'd shrunk into the couch.

"Finish your job," Deidara ordered bluntly, glaring hard at the black eyed-man while keeping his composed demeanor. The man's smirk quickly faded into a sullen grimace once more. Deidara glanced at me apprehensively before turning his attention back to the men who were nearly done.

I assumed that these were some of the subordinates that lived in the lowest floors of the complex. I was told not to wander down any stairs because it would be a very bad place to end up. I never really understood until then. These were just two out of who knows how many men that lived down there, and trust me when I say they didn't seem like pleasant company.

When I turned my attention to Deidara once more, he was in the same position that he'd retained the whole time.

"You should go to bed, Izumi," he said as he watched the men gather everything. They were finished.

"Right…" I mumbled quietly as I pulled my legs up and huddled into a ball on the couch. Yanking a blanket over me, I closed my eyes.

Notes:

FINALLY we're getting to where Izumi is starting to get to know our beloved boys and vice versa.

I appreciate those reads and kudos guys!

Chapter 5: On The Road Again

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When I awoke, I felt somewhat refreshed and the pit in my stomach had dissolved overnight. The wet spot on the floor was dry, erased of all evidence that anything had even happened there. I hoped that would be an indication that everyone had just forgotten about the whole thing.

No freaking chance.

"Hey Ralph , what's cookin'?" Kisame entered the kitchen and rested his elbow on the top of my head as he peered into the sizzling frying pans.

"Very funny Kisame," I snarked, ducking out from under his arm as I continued to move the bacon around the pan.

"Aw come on Izumi, you know I'm kidding." He grinned, ruffling my hair before taking his seat at the table. I countered by sticking my tongue out at him. He was very hurt by this, I could tell.

"So are you excited?" He asked, wiping his top lip of coffee.

"I'm always excited, Kisame. Every day I get to wake up and cook for you great lumps, could you dare to imagine a life more exciting?" I set a plate of food in front of him and he looked at it the way I wished someone might look at me one day. "Suppose I should ask if there is something specific I should be excited for?"

"Itachi didn't tell you? We have a job and Pain wants us to bring you."

Oh. My eyes got real big at this. It would be my first time outdoors in weeks.

"This isn't a joke?" I questioned, excited but suspicious.

"Come on, you know I'd never lie to you." He smiled that crooked, jagged smile of his.

I scoffed. I didn't know that at all. "But wait, I thought Itachi was supposed to meet with me?"

Kisame shrugged. "Well sure, guess we're hitting the road right after."

"Works for me," I agreed, noticing his food was being quickly devoured and silly me, I'd neglected to give him something most important. "Ack, I forgot your toast! You did want some, right?"

"Yeah, sausage too, n' some fuckin' hash browns would be cool," Hidan called from down the hall, strutting into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of shorts.

"I wasn't talking to you." I glowered at Hidan while throwing four pieces of toast on Kisame's plate. He looked delighted once more, not even paying attention to the rude as heck man swaggering in.

"Does it really fucking matter? Oh, yeah, and try not to get any puke in my food, sweetheart." Hidan snickered under his breath at his own joke.

And here I thought jokes were supposed to be funny.

"Oh," I began, feigning disappointment apologetically, "I'm not sure I'll be able to manage that. I'm suddenly feeling nauseous for some reason." I looked him up and down, trying my damndest to convey that he was the thing making me sick.

He glanced at me with disdain and I shot him a pointed glare in return. "I guess you'll just have to get it yourself." I shoved an empty plate into his stomach and dropped the fake-nice voice.

He ripped it out of my fingers and pushed into my space before I could even process what was happening, the darkness in his face spreading as he loomed over me. I flinched at the abrupt shatter of the plate against the wall. He didn't even look at where he was throwing it, eyes locked on mine. The stone wall was cold and rough against my skin as my body pressed back against it, trying to get further away from him but having nowhere else to go. Hidan's palm crashed against the wall beside my face and he angled his head down, our eyes tied together by some invisible force.

I considered trying to phase through the stone, but-

"Hidan…" I heard Kisame warn in the background through a mouthful of food.

"Nah, give us a second, Kisame-chan, we're just working some shit out," he responded in a jeering tone before returning his attention to me, mood instantly shifting to that of a predator honing in on its prey. His face moved uncomfortably close to mine with his lips just inches from my ear as he spoke with a low, growling timbre. "You better learn how to speak to me, and for your sake you better be a quick fucking learner." His magenta eyes glinted from beneath the shadows of his brow. I swallowed hard as his hot breath whispered against my face and I knew the fear was evident in my eyes, but I just couldn't look away. "Jashin forbids me from not killing anyone I end up fighting, so just keep that in mind," Hidan finished, seemingly getting some enjoyment out of my fearful reaction.

Neato, baby's first death threat.

The sudden appearance of a hand on Hidan's arm startled the beans out of me.

"Sit down, Hidan," Itachi commanded pointedly as he pulled Hidan's arm away from the wall, allowing me to slip away from him and tend to the nearly burnt eggs popping in the pan. I gave Itachi a quick, grateful look as he sat at the table.

Thankfully the rest of breakfast went smoothly enough and before I knew it, I found myself sitting in Pain's office with Itachi and Kisame.

"During the mission it would be wise to acquire some clothes for the girl, although she must always wear this in public." Pain pushed an article of clothing across the desk towards me. I grabbed it hesitantly and inspected it—a long black cloak devoid of any red clouds.

"We don't need to announce to the world that you are now in our possession. It would be best for you to keep a low profile for the time being."

I hated that… our possession. But despite that, I nodded and gripped the hooded cloak in my lap.

Pain addressed Itachi and Kisame once more. "Before you leave, we will examine the girl for traces of what I suspect is a memory seal." He then looked directly at me and gestured for me to sit on the floor. I quickly obliged.

Kisame sat back as Itachi and Pain both formed a hand sign before circling around me as if they were looking for something invisible to most eyes. I could hear Itachi's footfalls stop directly behind me. Feeling the brush of his fingers against the nape of my neck, i couldn't help but snap upright.

"You can relax," he whispered only to me before calling Pain over. "Here." Itachi's voice was calm and his touch was surprisingly gentle as he combed his fingers through my hair in a fluid motion to move it aside.

Twice in one day this man has had his hands in your hair, girl.

I sternly reminded myself once again that it was all happenstance and so far from romantic.

He pushed lightly on the back of my head, tilting it forward so I looked straight down at the floor. His hand brushed over the back of my neck as if feeling for something and I tried to hide the shiver it sent down my spine with an awkward cough.

Nice.

"Hm." I could hear Pain from behind now as well. "It looks complex…"

Itachi made a quiet noise of agreement.

"I am curious about one thing..." Pain trailed off, leaving briefly before returning with Sasori who immediately approached me from behind, leaning down to examine the nape of my neck thoughtfully.

"Hello Izumi," he greeted softly before speaking to the others, "Any number of shinobi could have done this, but… I'll admit it does seem reminiscent of his style.," Sasori mused. I wondered who they were talking about and what they were seeing, but I knew better than to ask.

"Izumi," Pain addressed me. "You had mentioned there was a man your parents were in contact with, someone they were going to transfer you to. Did you ever see this man or hear his name?"

Without looking up I answered. "No, I… I only heard him. His voice alone scared me if I'm being honest. They were basically begging him to take me, like they'd been watching after me for him and it was time for him to collect or something."

"But he said no?" Pain inquired.

"Not exactly. He said… soon."

"And that's when you left?" Itachi asked.

"And that's when I left," I agreed.

The three shinobi stepped away from me for a moment to convene with Kisame. They all spoke in hushed tones before Pain called me over.

"As suspected, there is a memory seal within you. Itachi and Kisame will begin working on breaking this seal on your journey. It will be a rather long process if we are looking to keep your mind intact, and, at the moment, we are. You will accompany them on a mission, I trust you will follow their orders." Pain's eyes drilled into me.

"Yes." I nodded vigorously, just happy to be leaving the complex.

After taking a few moments to pack some food while Itachi and Kisame gathered their things, we set off on our journey.

"It's been so long!" I cried out with my arms in the air, looking up towards the brilliant blue sky. It was the end of winter, still a chill breeze clinging to the air, but the sun shone as a warning to the cold that it would need to leave soon.

Kisame glanced around, unimpressed by the beautiful weather. "Whatever floats your boat, kid."

"I resent that." I glared at him. He raised an eyebrow in questioning. "I'm no kid, just because I'm small doesn't make me a kid."

"Really? You coulda fooled me, you're a little weakling like a kid." He grinned, I knew exactly what game he was playing, and I was buying right into it.

"Little weakling?!" I cried out, slapping my hands to my hips, knowing full well that I was, indeed, a little weakling, but was also prepared to deny it to the death. I struggled to keep up with their fast pace.

"Prove it." He smirked as he easily hoisted me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"This hardly seems fair!" I yelled, beating useless fists against his back, doing more harm to my hands than him.

"Who said anything about fair? You can't even get down, what a little baby. Maybe I was too generous with 'kid', huh?" he laughed boisterously at my pathetic attempt to inflict any pain on him.

"Oh, go a little lower, would ya? Have a hell of knot there."

I have a sneaking suspicion he's messing with you.

"Alright, you win," I huffed in defeat, letting my body go limp. He chuckled under his breath as he let me back down. I noticed Itachi glance at us from the corner of my eye. He didn't look amused, but not annoyed either which I guessed was a good thing.

I quickly realized why these guys were all so fit— so much walking. It was starting to take a toll on me. My feet pulsed with every step, begging me to stop and rest. But I didn't want to be a nuisance, so I pushed through it. I was content with the scenery at least. The many greens of the forest, the sounds of the trees swaying softly. A couple frogs cried out to each other in the distance, merry chatter for such a lovely day.

It was nice.

"Izumi." Itachi's voice brought me out of my mystified stupor.

"What? Oh, sorry!" I shook my head, realizing I had stopped in my tracks. I ran to catch up to them.

"Let's break here," Itachi said as he took a seat on a large exposed tree root that twisted beneath him.

"Good idea, especially for this one," Kisame teased, thumbing in my direction.

"Hey, I didn't ask for a break... I'm just not opposed to one is all," I retorted with my arms crossed.

He laughed at my horrible attempt to hide how tired I really was. "Sure, sure. I'm going to find us some fresh water. Be back soon."

I stood awkwardly for a moment, watching Kisame become smaller in the distance before being engulfed completely by the dense forest. When I turned to Itachi, he was unwrapping a rice ball.

"You must be hungry." He held it out to me. I didn't hesitate to take it, my stomach would have been angry if I had.

"Thank you," I said quietly, taking a seat beside him. I ate slowly while taking in my surroundings until I noticed Itachi wasn't eating.

"What about you?" I asked somewhat sheepishly, suddenly even more uncomfortable. I hadn't realized it possible. A silence settled before he dared to disturb it.

"I'm not hungry," he stated. I didn't believe him, we had been walking all day.

"You can have the rest of mine if you'd like," I offered, holding it out to him.

He didn't even look at it, he looked at me. Blank as slate and cold as snow, I stared into his eyes trying to glean what he was thinking. Moments passed like this, and although my mind was scrambling a million miles per hour, I was going nowhere. He broke the gaze, looking towards the sky, where just a few sun rays penetrated the forest's canopy. They shimmered down in dusty trails, setting spotlights upon the ground.

"No, thank you," he finally said. I continued to stare at him. He didn't belong there—in the Akatsuki. I couldn't help but wonder what happened to make him end up this way.

"Itachi…" I trailed off, looking away, immediately regretting saying anything. I saw the tilt of his head from my peripherals as he regarded me. Well crap, now I had to finish my thought.

"Um. Well, even I heard about what happened to your clan." I didn't dare look at him.

"It's well known," he agreed with a casual coldness.

"Well, I was wondering... Can I… can I ask why?" I clutched my hands together and played with the hem of the cloak between my fingers.

Oh. Are we alone with a murderer asking them why they murdered? Great idea, Izumi. One of your best.

That silence spoke more than the others.

"I did what I had to," he finally ended up saying, a lingering sigh clinging to every word. I left it at that.

It was minutes later when Kisame returned. "Well aren't you guys just a couple of chatter boxes," he said sarcastically, handing us our freshly filled canteens. It was time to walk again. Ugh.

The temperature dropped considerably as the sun began its descent. My skin felt cold and sticky thanks to the thick blanket of fog that wrapped our bodies. I could barely see Kisame and Itachi in front of me, but I followed them well enough by listening to their footsteps. Itachi's were quiet but palpable, like murmurs against the ground every time he took a step. Kisame's were less elegant and more casual, a loud trudge rather than a gentle glide.

Despite my very scientific analysis of their footfalls, I managed to not even notice when they faded out the moment my mind wandered to something shiny. I spun in a circle, desperately trying to see anything, outstretching my arms in every direction.

Biscuits. How long have the footsteps been gone?

"Hello?" I called out quietly. It was eerily hushed, only drips of cold rain hitting against the ground sounded in my ears. The fog was too thick for me to see anything, so I decided to try something. I stretched my arms out in front of me and concentrated on making a path. Slowly, little wisps of fog began blowing to the sides, creating a narrow path of vision before me. I concentrated harder and faced my palms out. A thick layer still settled on the ground, but waist up I could see perfectly quite a ways in front of me.

"Izumi?" Kisame's voice sounded distantly from my right. Turning towards it, I dissipated the fog with some effort to the point where I could see them faintly in the distance. I saw him point towards me before calling out, "What are you doing? Get over here you walnut head."

"Coming!" I called back as I began running towards them, feeling slightly high from a mildly successful use of my abilities. I absently wiped the bead of blood gathering in my nostril. I'd worry about that later.

That's not really true if you say that every time.

I was running just fine towards the dark figures shrouded in fog until I felt myself falling. I let out a shocked gasp as the ground disappeared from beneath me and I plunged into water so cold my body froze on impact, tensing to the point that I couldn't even force it move. I slowly sank, screaming in my mind to move, to do something. Nothing stayed warm, not even my bones.

Snap out of it Izumi.

Grasping my head violently, I sank even further, the freezing bitterness penetrating my skull, causing it to buzz in upheaval. I gritted my teeth and forced my legs to kick. It was slow at first, but it didn't take long before they were flailing, making my way towards the surface desperately. Or at least I hoped I was heading towards the surface. My lungs began to tighten and fill with gasoline, it was only a matter of time before someone would light the match.

Everything around me was dark and I realized with horror that I no longer knew which way was up. I hadn't imagined my death like this to be quite honest.

Halting my struggle, I let myself float there almost serenely. Tiny bubbles squeezed their way from my lips and fled the sinking vessel, dancing sporadically upon their exit.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any and all comments and kudos!

Chapter 6: Bathhouse Happenings

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Gasping in alarm also meant inhaling a boatload of water-would not recommend-and I did all I could to cling to my savior as I was yanked from the icy depths. Disoriented, coughing violently, and freezing. I finally felt solid ground beneath me. That was enough. For now, anyway. I laid there on my side with the grace of a flopping fish, sputtering water out with each choking gasp.

"Geez Izumi, are you okay?" Kisame asked.

Hm, good question Kisame. Tough to tell.

I didn't bother with an answer. He'd figure it out.

Managing to crack my bleary eyes open enough to look around, Kisame was carefully examining the water. Itachi was nowhere to be seen, but I soon realized he was directly behind me as he draped his cloak over me.

"You'll need to get out of your wet clothes or you'll die," he relayed calmly before moving to join Kisame. Sure, that was incentive to strip down beneath nothing but a massively oversized cloak. With some awkward shimmying, I removed my wet clothes and left them in a soggy pile.

"Odd…" Kisame trailed off as he inspected the edges of the pond or whatever it was. Itachi seemed equally intrigued, and for once I could see an actual emotion on his face—puzzlement.

It was pretty cute and I resolved to confuse him further in the future.

"What's wrong?" I asked, shuffling up to get a peek.

"Stay where you are." It was a stern command. Itachi threw his arm out to keep me back in case I was too stupid for words apparently. I froze, hugging myself where I stood, the cold biting more viciously than before.

"Is s-something wrong?" I asked through chattering teeth. Kisame glanced my way and immediately rushed over.

"You're freezing, Izumi." He scowled, grabbing and rubbing my shoulders vigorously. I have gonn a meek smile, clamoring purplish lips and everything. Itachi suddenly appeared beside us, eyes on me, sharp and scrutinizing.

"Gather her quickly," he addressed Kisame. "We need to find shelter without delay."

"No shit," Kisame agreed, plucking me up so I draped like a lifeless doll between his arms. He'd glance down at me intermittently and each I was still alive seemed like a win to him. Meanwhile, I greedily absorbed his warmth.

Mine.

"We'll stay here," Itachi announced as we arrived in front of a bathhouse that sat quaintly between a clothing store and a ramen shop.

"So is this the mist village?" I asked, taking in the surroundings.

"No, we still have another day of travel."

I stared, clearly missing something. "But we were... there was... I'm sorry, silly situation but, what about all mist back there?"

A hint of amusement registered on his face, my ignorance apparently entertaining. He cleared his throat, tamping it down. "There's something unusual going on. We'll check in here and let you get settled. You can warm up in the hot springs while we go back for further investigation. There was something off about it."

"Like all the mist?"

"Like all the mist."

I nodded, too cold to question anymore than I already had, and too tired to think.

"Two rooms," Itachi said to the petite woman behind the counter. She stared at him apprehensively, her eyes flickering between him and my limp body dangling in Kisame's grip. I knew what she thought—I was some sort of prisoner—but she wouldn't say anything, she wouldn't want to stick her nose in Akatsuki business. Her trembling fingers dug in a drawer and re-emerged with two keys.

"Your room," Itachi said to me as he opened the sliding paneled door.

The room was simple, white washed walls with light wood floors. A sleeping mat sat humbly in the center with a crisp white towel on top.

"Thank you," I acknowledged quietly as I entered the room, only halting at the weight of a hand on my shoulder.

"Will you be alright?"

I paused to think about my answer. Did he mean physically or mentally? Was I still too cold, or would I be okay on my own when they left?

Just say you're fine like a normal person and stop overthinking everything.

I turned, giving him a weak smile and a nod. "I'm alright."

He was oppressively strong. I could practically feel the power emanate from his deceivingly delicate palm. It weighed heavy on my shoulder, but not in any unwelcome way. In fact, it was more of a comfort than I expected and weirdly disappointing when he removed it. Watching as Itachi disappeared into the room next door, I withdrew into my own.

The cloak fell in a heap around my ankles. I stepped out of it and pulled a white towel around me tightly. Kisame and Itachi were nowhere to be seen as I passed their room and padded down the stairs and through the lantern-lit corridors.

The water stung my still-frozen skin, boiling against it until I adjusted. Slipping into the steaming spring water up to my chin, I exhaled deeply and shivered with contentment.

The Akatsuki should definitely look into relocating to a hot spring.

I'd have to recommend it later. For now, I sat back and took in my surroundings—there was a giant wooden wall separating the springs in half. Glancing around, I noted that I was alone, which meant I was safe to toy around with my abilities.

I let my hands float on top with palms facing down. The water spread beneath them, creating misplaced dimples in the water's surface. I played with the depth I could create, taking care to not overdo it, lest I bloody my nose again.

"What are you doing?" A man's voice chimed from behind me.

I jolted, sinking low into the water, arms flying up to hug myself and eyes peering over the bubbling surface. I turned around slowly to see a young man crouched on his toes, his forearms resting casually on his knees. I backed up in the water hastily and sank even more so that just my nostrils hovered over the edge of the water.

"No need to be scared, I was just curious." He smiled wide, his eyes wrinkling whimsically at the corners.

I glared at him from behind strands of wet clinging to my face, as if trying to console the wary pit in my stomach. As much as I wanted to wipe them away, that meant not hugging myself for dear life and him potentially seeing me. Looking like a drowned rat was fine by me.

His face had a quirky feel to it, unusual but attractive. He was clearly young, younger than me anyway. Messy black hair fluttered in front of his eyes which were a deep green, unusually bright. He sported baggy, black cargo pants and a dark green sweatshirt with a fur-lined hood. Even with the bagginess of his attire, I could tell he was rather thin from the cheekbones that protruded from his delicate looking face.

"Um, you're not supposed to be here," I warned, mustering all the harshness I could.

His grin drooped and he cocked his head. "What do you mean?" he asked, seemingly sincere.

"This is the girl's side of the spring," I stated with a nod of my head toward the sign behind him that was adorned with a stick figure in a dress. He stared at it for a long time before returning his gaze to my own.

"I see," he said, looking dejected. "I'm really sorry to have disturbed you." He stayed like that for a long moment, and I watched as he remained crouched like a depressed gargoyle.

Well geez, now I kind of feel bad. Maybe he's just not from around here?

"Where are you from?" I asked, suddenly uncomfortable with the silence.

He brightened, rocking back on his heels and letting himself fall into a sitting position, his toes grazing the water's edge. "Oh, I come from all over the place."

"Well, how very vague of you," I said, no longer feeling that bad.

He flashed a broad smile. "It was nice meeting you Izumi, but I think it's time for me to go." He reached out, brushing the hair from my face before leaving in a flash.

Freaking shinobi…

If I had blinked I would have missed him disappearing over the building's roof. The quick skittering of his feet against the shingles ended abruptly. I stood in the water, frozen in place.

Wait… how did he know my name?

"Izumi," I could hear Kisame calling my name from inside, at least someone had enough manners to respect the girls only sign that clattered against the door each time the wind bullied it.

"Coming!" I called back, gathering the towel around me and shaking my feet in an awkward dance. I took a fleeting glance around me, furtively peering into the shadows that watched me from afar. I shook off the uneasy feeling and hurried inside.

As I started up the stairs, I couldn't help but notice a trail of blood droplets like bread crumbs leading me back to my room. It was startling enough to up my pace to something quick and floundering, pounding up the stairs and down the hallway.

"Itachi…" I whispered, my mouth agape as I stood stupidly in the doorway. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, his hand clutched against his abdomen, blood squeezing its way through his fingers and dripping down to the floor.

"What happened?!" I exclaimed as I came out of my shocked stupor, rushing into the room. For what, I don't know, considering there wasn't anything I could do to help. But my legs carried me nonetheless.

"We were attacked out of nowhere," Kisame said bitterly while searching through his bag for medical supplies.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I took a step toward Itachi, water droplets falling to the floor from my still-moist skin. One hand held the towel against me, the other absently hovered over my mouth as I was horrified by the situation. They were acting so casual but I was fighting with my fear response. It wasn't normal to have trails of blood across the floor and seeping from your abdomen. How was this not scary to them? Itachi looked up at me from his position on the bed roll.

"Izumi, please put some clothes on," he said before averting his attention to the window quickly. I shrunk slightly before rushing out of the room, cheeks matching the roses that littered the trellis outside.

Izumi, you awkward little harlot.

When I entered my room, a set of neatly folded clothes sat next to the sleeping mat. I cautiously inspected them, turning them over in my hands, kneading the fabric, even smelling them—they seemed alright so I didn't bother tasting them. Crimson specks on ther ground told me how they'd gotten there.

Itachi...

I slipped into the fitted black tee and pants. They were snug and comfy. I took a moment to be impressed that he actually nailed my size before quietly making my way to stand outside of Kisame and Itachi's door. A small chuckle sounded from inside the room.

"You can come in, you know," Kisame called out teasingly. Of course he could sense me.

I peeked my head inside the doorframe before my body followed timidly, not daring to meet Itachi's gaze which I could feel on me. Hanging his cloak on a wall hook, I offered a quiet thank you for that and the new clothes, assuring him he didn't need to do that.

He nodded, the ghost of a smile on his face. "Seems like a good fit."

"Quite! So which one of you do I have to thank for being observant enough to actually get the right size?"

Kisame snorted. "Please, if it were up to me I would have gotten you a onesie from the toddler section."

I snorted even louder. "Well wouldn't that have been an interesting sight. You'd get one to match me, righ-"

I was suddenly cut off by a voice right in my freaking ear from behind. "What happened?"

"Would you stop doing that?" I exclaimed, clutching at my heart as I turned around to see Zetsu.

"Sorry," he confessed, looking at the floor like a guilty dog.

Kisame stepped forward. "Well the klutz over here fell in a 'pond' on our way over," I scoffed at his reference to me, "when we pulled her out I noticed it wasn't a pond at all. It was a cover up."

"Cover up?" I asked.

"There was something at the bottom, a door."

"A door at the bottom of that pond?"

Kisame sighed in frustration, "it wasn't a pond, Izumi. It was a cover for a secret hideout. Only problem, we don't know whose it is."

"So let's go back," I suggested.

Kisame laughed. "Well I'm glad you're not a kunoichi, you'd be terrible. Now that we know about that base, they'll abandon it."

"Ohh," I said in understanding, "But wait, how did Itachi get hurt?"

"I should have been on my guard." He sounded resentful.

"What did they look like?" Zetsu questioned.

"Male, small-framed, black hair, green eyes. He wore mostly black clothes." Itachi stared up at the ceiling as he spoke.

"And a green sweatshirt…" I mumbled.

Everyone snapped their heads towards me. "What?" Itachi asked with an inscrutable look.

"His sweatshirt, it was green, right?" I said, louder and with a wince. I didn't really want to be right.

"What are you talking about Izumi? Did you hit your head on something while we were gone?" Kisame asked with a playful roll of his eyes.

"She's right," Itachi said, his gaze unwavering from my own. "But how?"

They all looked at me and I had the urge to shrink into the size of an ant.

"I saw him while I was in the spring. He actually came up to me and um... well, he knew my name? So that seems not great... He left really abruptly. Now that I think about it, he left just as you guys got back." I fidgeted with my thumbs as I replayed the incident in my head. The whole thing was a lot stranger than I had originally thought.

Which was pretty freaking strange to begin with, by the way.

They all looked to be deep in thought before Zetsu broke the silence. "Your mission is postponed, in the morning you go back to the base." He disappeared into the floor and the room was quiet again.

"Well kiddo, better go get your sleeping mat because you are deeefinitely not sleeping in there by yourself tonight," Kisame said with a long exhale to follow. Itachi agreed quietly with a nod.

Oh come ON. Was it too much to ask to get ONE night in my own room?

When I returned, blankets and pillow in hand, I nearly fell over backwards. It wasn't that I'd never seen a shirtless man before, let's be real, I lived with Hidan. No, maybe it was just that I wasn't expecting it? Or maybe it was the fact that it was Itachi, who notoriously made my palms sweaty even with a shirt on. Know how people tell you to imagine someone in their underwear if you want to make them less intimidating in your head? Yeah, so those people give bad advice.

Get your beans together, Izumi.

Itachi sat on the edge of his sleeping mat just as he had been before, the only difference was that his shirt was on the floor and Kisame was at his side, preparing to bandage him I presumed.

"I'm really sorry, Itachi. I can't help but feel like this is my fault," I offered, standing there like an idiot with my arms full of blankets.

"I'm fine," he assured. "You can set up in between Kisame and me." He nodded to an empty spot on the floor beside him.

"I'm sorry, where?" My voice went up an impressive number of octaves. I had heard him, I had comprehended, I was just having a hard time processing. There were plenty of other spots in the room, surely he didn't mean right next to him.

Kisame laughed far too loud at this. "Don't worry, we're not gonna bite. Just makes it easier to keep you safe, kid."

"Sure. Yeah. Obviously." I tried to sound breezy as I threw my bedding to the floor and looked hesitantly back at the two shinobi with a pang of guilt.

"Isn't there anything I can do to help?"

"No," Itachi said.

"Sure, come on over," Kisame said at the exact same time, much louder than Itachi, drowning him out with ease.

Itachi shot Kisame a warning look, but Kisame seemed unfettered and merely smiled back at him, so I decided not to pay that much mind.

"Alright, so are you any good with stitches?" Kisame asked.

"What?!"

He chuckled a bit. "I'm just fucking with ya, I already did the stitches. Anyway, I'm gonna have Itachi stand. Go in and hit it with a final clean up, some alcohol, some salve. Then I'll come in with the bandage."

"Izumi, I can handle that myself, I assure you." Despite Itachi speaking to me, he was glaring at Kisame.

"Nonsense," Kisame waved him off. "He's lost too much blood, he has no idea what he's talking about." He grinned at Itachi again before pulling him to his feet.

"Alright Izumi, it's go time," Kisame said, plopping a bottle of alcohol and a cotton cloth in my hand. I nodded and knelt down to get a better look. The stitches were cleanly in place along the alarmingly long wound, in my very unprofessional opinion.

Wow, you are very close to Itachi right now. How are your hands? Nice and sweaty? I'm sure he'll love that.

I cursed inwardly at my internal dialogue.

"I'm sorry if this hurts," I said with a wince as I dabbed around the angry looking thing.

"It's fine," Itachi assured. With a wayward glance up I could see him still trained on a grinning Kisame.

Given my very personal proximity, I examined the plethora of healed scars marking Itachi's pale skin and I resisted the urge to reach out and touch them in favor of imagining the various situations that could have led to them, many of them were fantastical and one even involved a particularly nasty unicorn.

"Oh, you missed a spot," Kisame remarked as I was preparing to move onto the salve. I had been so focused on the wound itself that I hadn't noticed a splotch of dried blood that must have been from when the cut was dribbling earlier. It was caked onto his skin beneath his hip bone, right at the top edge of his pants. I swallowed unintentionally as I stared at it, feeling the sweat producing in my palms.

I can do this. Just cleaning up some regular old blood in a regular old spot on a regular old guy.

I snuck a glance upwards and noted that Itachi's glowering had somehow become more intense and Kisame's grin even more pointed.

"Kisame, what the heck are you smiling about. Poor Itachi is clearly in pain over here," I finally asked.

"Yes Kisame, please enlighten us," Itachi said very pointedly.

"I somehow doubt you're in pain, Uchiha," Kisame retorted with a knowing edge.

I was only avoiding the inevitable listening to them squabble like that. With a determined huff, I wrapped the alcohol-soaked cloth around my finger and dipped it just beneath the hem of his pants to wipe along his hip, rubbing gentle circles on a particularly stubborn patch.

"I'm in agony, Kisame," Itachi elaborated, his eyes intensely focused on sending daggers at Kisame who seemed to be enjoying himself. Kisame shifted his attention to me as I thankfully moved onto applying the salve.

"Damn Izumi, your hands are so tiny. You're probably a lot gentler than me when it comes to putting that stuff on. Wouldn't you say, Itachi?" Kisame asked as I finished up, readying the bandages.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Kisame. Your hands are plenty feminine and gentle."

I could see a vein pop in Kisame's forehead causing me to let out a snort.

"Please," I said, "the only thing delicate about Kisame is his ego apparently."

Now it was Kisame's turn to snort and oh did I relish the smirk on Itachi's face at my comment. I promptly ordered my brain to think of some more Kisame zingers for later.

I finished setting up the bedding as Kisame wrapped Itachi in a long swath of bandage. There ended up being a couple feet in between all of us and I felt like that might be sufficient enough for me to fall asleep and not think about my criminally close proximity to the enigma which was Itachi Uchiha for the next 8 hours. Just the guy that seemed super sweet and caring but also tortured me and slaughtered his family. No big dealio.

Notes:

It's gonna be a LONG night for Izumi :3 Poor girl. Why must I do this to her?

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any and all comments and kudos!

Chapter 7: Breaking The Seal: Begin

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The lights had been out for nearly ten minutes and Kisame was already snoring loudly. If not for that, I probably would have fallen asleep already. I stared at him hard, willing him to stop with all my brain power, but alas, no.

Frustrated, I tossed about, flipping to the other side in a huff to see Itachi staring straight up at the ceiling. Before I could tear my eyes away, he turned to meet my gaze. Naturally I stared back like a calm, casual deer in headlights.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, barely audible.

"I'm fine, you're the one with an injury," I replied, trying to be equally quiet.

"You had a long day. Besides, not all injuries can be bandaged," he offered calmly, his gaze continuing to hold. The gleam of moonlight reflecting off his dark irises softened their usual edge.

"Mm true. Would have taken a lot of bandages to warm up after my little swim. Like, a lot. I'm talking mummy status here."

Why are you like this, Izumi?

"I didn't quite mean it like that... but I suppose you're not wrong," Itachi mused. I couldn't tell in the dark, but I swear I detected at least a hint of amusement.

"Well, mummies aside... is he always like this?" I nodded to the snoring Kisame behind me. Now that elicited a small smile from the Uchiha.

"You grow accustomed to it. Sometimes it helps to push him onto his side."

"Wait, are you serious?" I half-whispered, half-hissed, fully entertaining the idea of trying to shove Kisame into a quieter sleeping position.

"No."

I quelled the urge to throw a pillow at his face, settling for a feigned scowl and an empty threat instead, "I should throw a pillow at you, you know."

"Oh? And what's stopping you?" He pressed with piqued curiosity.

"Well, there's my very vague understanding of self-preservation of course, but mostly an outstanding moral compass."

"Ah, of course, " he agreed with a small nod. "Well, I suppose I should consider myself fortunate that you're very merciful indeed."

"Indeed you should," I teased. "And what would you have done if I tried to move Kisame and he killed me in his sleep with his crazy shinobi reflexes?"

"I suppose I was counting on that sense of self-preservation you were just speaking of," he noted coolly with a shrug.

"Sounds like quite the oversight on your part. So much for those fancy eyes."

"Fancy eyes," he repeated, apparently amused by my frivolous assessment of them.

"I said what I said. But if you're really curious, I guess I can shove Kisame over just to see what happens?" I offered, which sent us spiraling into a back-and-forth of hypotheticals and best and worst case scenarios. Rambling off topic was inevitable with me, and it wasn't until we were debating desserts that most of my thoughts had become punctuated by yawns.

"You should get some sleep," Itachi advised. If he was trying to hide his smirk, he wasn't doing it well.

"But I'm not tired," I lied. Well, it was a only a partial lie. I was physically tired, but not in the least bit tired of talking with him. It was the first time it felt entirely normal, and selfishly, I didn't want it to be over yet.

"Tomorrow will be a long day. It would make me feel better if you got some rest."

Well when he phrased it like that... I suddenly I felt compelled to oblige. "Yeah. Okay, you're right."

"Sometimes. "

I smiled and whispered through a yawn. "Goodnight Itachi."

"Sleep well…"

The morning came quickly and I awoke as a cranky mess after a very sporadic night of sleep. My hair stuck up in all directions and the bags under my eyes could have carried groceries.

"Yeesh, did you even sleep, shorty?" Kisame asked with a grimace.

"No, but you did," I grumbled, mostly to myself. Kisame thought this was quite funny, as evidenced by his rumbling chortle. I attempted to rub the sleeplessness out of my eyes before throwing my dark, tangled hair into two messy little buns. My entire lower half ached from the previous day's journey and I couldn't help but let out a small groan at the thought of doing it again.

"Izumi, when you're ready you can have a seat on your bedroll. Kisame and I will spend the morning breaking the first segment of the memory seal. Then we'll head back," Itachi said while tying his own hair back. It really wasn't fair how much prettier it was than mine.

I had almost forgotten about the memory seal. How very stupid of me. Taking my place on the mat, I awaited further instruction.

"I'll apologize now, this may not be a pleasant sensation," Itachi warned quietly.

"W-why? What are you guys going to do to me?" I asked, not even attempting to hide my nerves.

Itachi paused for a pensive moment before answering. "Think of it like this, someone put a lock on your memories, and we are trying to pick that lock. There are 8 tumblers we need to get through to fully open it, each one rather difficult. Difficult, but not impossible."

Kisame interjected, "breaking the lock would be the fastest way in, but that might also damage the door. Get it?"

"I think so… so this is the only way to do it without risking my sanity?" I asked with a hard swallow. Itachi nodded.

"What sanity?" Kisame teased.

"I was being kind to myself. My apologies, it won't happen again." I gave him a sweetly sarcastic smile which garnered another chuckle out of him.

"The first will be the quickest," Itachi assured, ignoring Kisame and me being children. "It would appear it's already been eroded over time. That helps. Seals like this have their weaknesses… sometimes a person's will to recall can wear it down. Simply experiencing a trigger can spark a painful but quick break of the seal, or at least a portion of it," Itachi explained as he stood before me, adopting a more rigid posture. He formed a hand sign and Kisame did the same, each standing across from each other with me in the center.

And so, they began.

I honestly didn't feel anything at first to the point that I wondered if they'd even started. The concentration plaguing both of their faces assured me they had though, and after a while it crept up on me like a bad cold.

It started as just a tightness in my head, but the tightness gave way to burning which later came with a heavy pounding like my brain was throwing itself against my skull in many unsuccessful escape attempts. I reminded it inwardly that it needed me as much as I needed it. This did not stop the pounding, but it amused me at the very least. Varying degrees of this went on for hours before I felt a bursting sensation. There was a moment of pain, but if anything it was satisfying. Like trying to pop a pimple for hours and then finally, sweet release.

"That's it," Itachi announced before kneeling down to my level. "You did well," he said quietly as his hand looped under my arm to pull me up. I felt Kisame under the other arm and between the two of them, I was on my feet again.

"That sucked," I said, trying to focus on hiding the fact that I was swaying in place.

"Hey wobbles, is this all part of your big plan to get me to carry you everywhere?" Kisame teased and I let out a weak laugh.

"I'm not clever enough for that," I admitted.

"Just lucky then I guess," he joked as he took the sword off his back and squatted down, motioning for me to climb on. I wasn't in any position to say no.

Being back at the base was like we'd never even left.

"Fucking asshole!" Hidan's yell roared throughout the hollow cavern, "You ate the last fucking dango!"

Deiadara looked pleased with himself, cheeks full and shrugging. "I have more mouths and therefore more sweet tooths… sweet teeth? That doesn't sound right either... Anyway, the point I'm getting at here is fuck you."

"Izumi? What are you doing back already?" Sasori was the first to notice me walk in.

"Zetsu didn't tell you?" I asked as I plopped my bag onto the couch and pulled my cloak off, letting it fall in a heap.

"Whoa!" Hidan exclaimed from behind. I turned to see him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his bare chest, looking me up and down.

"What?" I asked awkwardly, trying hard not to shy away.

"I just never realized you had tits, let alone an ass."

My mouth dropped as I stared at him, horrified. "What is your problem?" I demanded, crossing my own arms in a huff. He raised an eyebrow at my chest. I looked down and quickly slapped my arms to my side, realizing that crossing them only made things more apparent.

"Your face is sooo fucking red right now," he managed to get out through a fit of cackling. I sputtered to snap back, but words failed me and I stood looking like a gaping fish.

Nice.

"Alright, I think that's enough," Sasori said, taking me by my shoulders and pushing me into the kitchen.

"Thank you," I sighed gratefully and he gave me a nod and a faint smirk.

"You know what's wrong with this picture, yeah?" Deidara strolled in nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes and didn't even bother to ask what, he would tell me without any prompting on my part.

"So you're in the kitchen, but you're not cooking. Kinda weird, yeah?" He smirked and my brows came together in anger with a cluck of my tongue.

"You know what Deidara, why don't you just shut your mouth for once, all of them," I suggested with gusto.

He looked back at me, eyes big with a huge pout pasted on his face. It was criminally cute. Our eyes didn't break from each other for a long moment as I tried to overcome the cute.

I did not succeed.

I sighed and threw my arms in the air. "Okay, fine! What do you want!?" I huffed, ripping open the pantry door.

"Chicken katsu! Oh and fry some veggies in tempura and put a bunch of sweet and sour in one of those little dishes, yeah!?" He was way too excited and I couldn't help snorting under my breath away his giddiness.

"You know, as good as that sounds, I'm afraid I can't do it." I shrugged, leaning against the counter coolly.

"Why not?!" he cried, looming over and nearly smothering me in the process.

"Calm down, geez," I laughed. "You don't have the ingredients I need to make any of it, you bean-brain," I answered quickly, pressing my palms against his flaring chest to push him back to arm's length.

Hm. Really solid chest. That's... nice. I suppose.

I quickly removed my hands from him and prayed my thoughts didn't register on my face.

Oh dear lord, you might actually be a pervert.

I waited for him to say something since my brain was malfunctioning at the moment.

"First of all, don't call me bean-brain. I don't know what that is and I don't like it," he said, causing me to laugh-snort. I would most definitely be calling him bean-brain again. "Secondly, we're going shopping," he announced abruptly, grabbing my wrist and pulling me behind him. I stumbled in trying to keep up.

"Deidara, Deidara! Do you really need chicken katsu that bad!? The nearest town is hours from here!" I whined and dug my heels into the ground.

He turned and flashed me a sly grin, "By foot."

"Um, yes. That's correct. What do you mean by foot? How else do you propose we get there? Fly?" I flapped my arms mockingly with an incredulous expression.

His grin spread like wildfire. "Good idea, Izumi."

I cocked my head and looked at him, perplexed.

"Just trust me, un." He grabbed my wrist and tugged me behind him. I gave up trying to resist and just focused on keeping up at that point.

Notes:

Shopping seems totally safe and normal and there would be no way for it to go wrong, right?

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any and all comments and kudos!

Chapter 8: An Unexpected Encounter

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The wind blew fresh on my face and ran child-like through the grass. I stood there in the empty field just outside of the base, Deidara beside me, his grip no longer around my wrist because his hand was busily digging into the bag that hung from his waist. I waited, watching him intently.

"Um, should I be scared?" I asked. "Because I might be scared."

He smirked, holding out his hand and uncurling his fingers. "Are you watching?" He glanced between me and his open palm. The sheen of sunlight reflecting off his hair created a halo-like radiance around his head that was beautifully unfitting for him.

The mouth in his hand spat out a malformed lump of clay which he clasped in his fingers, rolling and kneading until a tiny clay bird sat perched in his hand.

Ah, your former nemesis.

And it had the nerve to cock it's head at me like it was just some cute little thing. Like it's brethren hadn't very nearly turned my head into a hearty meat sauce before.

"It's not gonna blow up. I promise," he assured, apparently amused by my scathing scrutiny. "Just watch, yeah?"

"If you say so," I muttered, looking on with a wary squint as he tossed the little bird into the air. There was a startling poof, clay dust billowing out from massive flapping winds as the thing expanded into a looming beast within the blink of an eye. I startled back with a squeak, nearly falling on my ass if not for Deidara grabbing my wrist to yank me back with a laugh.

"Not expecting that?" He teased, looking smug in how I was absolutely dumbfounded and gaping at his creation.

"No," I answered, awestruck and shaking my head absently. "No, I can't say I was."

Strong gusts of wind wrapped around me as it beat its wings and touched feet to the ground. It lowered one wing to the earth and looked at me with another stupidly cute tilt of its head, blinking innocently.

"W-why is it looking at me like that?" I trilled, quickly side-stepping to duck behind Deidara and peer over his shoulder. He laughed, stepping away and completely ruining my amazing hiding spot.

"Relax, Izumi. Look, it's perfectly safe," he promised, approaching the bird and stroking its neck. It warbled happily, rocking on its feet to lean into the touch, nuzzling Deidara's cheek. "It wants you to get on, yeah?"

This man was insane. He gestured towards its wing acting like an entry ramp like I was supposed to just freaking waltz on up it.

"Come onnn, it'll be fine," he encouraged, grabbing my hand to lead me up to the beast. I followed him cautiously, very much trying not to think about the way my hand felt in his.

Trying and failing.

"I promise it's not gonna hurt you," Deidara murmured, tugging me right up to it and guiding my hand to lay flat against the thing's puffed out chest. There was no escape as he boxed me in from behind, one hand pressed firm against the small of my back and the other resting on top of mine, gently leading my fingers to trail across the bird's form.

"See? This is just my art. Nothing to worry about, yeah?" Between the endearing swell of pride in his voice and the coaxing circles he'd begun rubbing across my back, I managed to swallow down my trepidation.

"It's really amazing," I agreed, totally overwhelmed with the reality check. I knew shinobi were powerful and all that, but I never really realized the breadth of what they could do. Silly me had assumed they mostly hid in bushes and whipped knives at each other. Womp womp.

"You ready to get on then?" Deidara asked, already guiding me toward the bird's wing before I could protest.

You know he's still holding your hand, right?

Oh, I was well aware. It was doin' me a heckin' sweat.

Deidara gripped hard as he pulled me onto the creature, and as I stood atop it beside him scanning the landscape, my fear dissolved into a childish giddiness. I was about to go for a casual fly on an adorable gargantuan clay bird, and that was distinctly more exciting than anything I'd ever done in my life.

"This is amazing, Deidara," I beamed at him and he beamed back, more than pleased at my pleasedness.

"This is nothing, Izumi. Hold on." Deidara grinned and the bird began flapping its wings.

"To what!?" I panicked, stomach leaping into my throat as I dropped to all fours. Sometimes he laughed way too hard at my pain.

"I mean, I was an option, but okay, I see how it is."

Beans. That would have been smart.

Regardless, I was already flattened against the thing like a spineless squirrel, so I took the opportunity to crawl to the edge and peer over it, watching as the individual blades of grass meshed into one giant sea of green. Not a sea I wanted to splash into exactly, but still very pretty.

"Sure beats walking, yeah?" Deidara asked, staring out at the horizon thoughtfully. The view was genuinely breathtaking. The lush greenery of the forest seemed to go on infinitely and I couldn't help but just smile up at Deidara, hair whipping around my face.

"Yeah!" I shouted over the wind as I shakily pushed up to my feet, arms out like a toddler to help keep balance. Deidara didn't even try to stifle a small, unappreciated chuckle.

"What?" I groaned, turning to face him and slapping my hands to my hips. He shrugged like he was innocent. Now that was funny.

"What?!" I threw my arms up.

"I'm just thinking of when we first found you. Can't believe we actually thought you were a kunoichi."

"What's so funny about that?" I asked with a scathing look, crossing my arms.

"That a rhetorical question?"

"Here's a rhetorical question, do you want me to slap y—ah!" I let out a yelp as I jerked backwards, feet flying out from beneath me. I reached an arm out, grasping wildly at the air slipping through my fingers. Somehow it felt like everything was going in slow motion yet still too quickly to react at the same time. The scream caught in my throat as Deidara's fingers quickly wrapped around my wrist, and my stomach finally settled back into my abdomen as he pulled me into him.

"Oh good lord…" I breathed out in a panic, clutching at Deidara's cloak like it had gone and rescued me all on its own.

"Shit, you alright?" he asked, pushing me back to get a good look at whatever manic face I was making.

I swallowed deep, nodding, "Yeah... yeah, I think so. Don't ask about my pants though. The answer will be considerably more moist."

He laughed apologetically. "We must have hit some turbulence, I should have been paying more attention." Releasing me from his hold was only something he attempted once. I may as well have been glued to him, still shaken and certainly not ready to fly solo.

Pun intended.

"Sorry," I murmured into his cloak, burying my face into his shoulder.

"The hell are you sorry for? Not like you're gonna hear me complain, yeah?" he assured with a chuckle, rubbing my back and holding my head steady to his shoulder. I breathed out with heavy relief and we stood like that until my nerves settled. He asked if I wanted to sit and I thought that was a lovely suggestion. After all, my legs were still tired from my trip and my brain was still tired from almost dying.

He sat with his legs splayed out and patted the space between them. I fit well enough with my back against his chest and I realized then that Deidara was essentially my child safety chair. Mildly embarrassing.

"You gave me a little scare back there," he joked.

"Hah, yeah. Sorry about that. Apparently I have a thing for near-death experiences? That kind of stuff has been happening a lot lately," I joked too because that seemed like the thing to do when it came to death and shinobi.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, some stuff happened while I was on my trip..." I began, rambling on about the entirety of the events that took place, particularly the strange guy at the bath house.

"Ew, he knew your name without you telling him?" Deidara questioned.

"Yep. Very ew. Slight red flag. Guess I'm just hoping it was a weird little blip in my life, but I'm not feeling like I'll be that lucky." I laughed to make light of it and tucked my knees under my chin.

"It'll be fine," Deidara said, overly confident with an assured rub of my arms. "You're with the Akatsuki. We're kind of a big deal, ya know."

I snorted. "Mm, and so humble too."

"Listen, I just got us to the nearest town in record time. I don't have to be humble."

"True," I agreed, taking in the view of the settlement we were descending upon. "Wouldn't suit you anyway."

The bird landed at the outskirts of town and let its wing rest against the ground to give us a makeshift ramp to disembark.

"Shall we?" Deidara asked playfully with his elbow out. I looked at him and laughed.

"You wish. I mean really, how many chances am I going to get to slide down a giant bird wing?" I stuck my tongue out and planted my butt at the top of the wing, shoving off to whizz down it.

I said, shoving off to whizz down it.

That's what I thought would happen anyway.

As it turned out, the bird wing wasn't exactly slidey. I slowly, very slowly, skidded down the wing in a jerky movement, having to awkwardly thrust myself forward every so often just to maintain a pathetic semblance of momentum.

Deidara watched the entire time, absolutely deadpan. When I finally made it to the bottom, tumbling over before standing up with an awkward huff, I brushed off my knees. "Okay, well... I'll admit that went differently in my head. Hey Deidara, can you make the wings a little more slideable next time?" I asked with a hopeful smile.

He just looked at me with a raised brow and said, "You are one strange girl." I scoffed with nothing to do but follow him into town.

"Wow, busy day, huh?" I remarked as we weaved through the bustling crowd.

Deidara took note of this as well and looked back at me. "Seems that way, make sure you don't get lost. And put your hood up, yeah?"

"But it's hot out," I pouted.

A sharp glare was all it took for me to shut up and pull the hood on, sending shadows to play across my face. I hoped I was sufficiently mysterious as I followed Deidara closely, bobbing through the seemingly never-ending packs of people.

"Here we are!" Deidara grinned as we arrived at some shack with a crudely painted chicken on it. He assured me the place was legit. Once inside, Deidara was all business and no play. He negotiated vigorously with the greasy man behind the counter until he ended up with a sack of raw chicken.

"Do you feel better now?" I asked sarcastically as we left the shop.

"Be quiet," he commanded with a sudden severe edge, quickly shoving me against a wall. My back cracked from the force like an echo of when we first met and an instinctual fear spiked through my gut. I stared at Deidara with all the dread of expecting a blow to my jaw if history were to repeat. He wasn't even looking at me though, instead glancing over his shoulder.

"Wh-what's going o—" he clapped a hand against my mouth to shut me up.

"I said be quiet, Izumi," he snapped in a harsh whisper, body pinning mine in place as he still scoured the scene behind him. Whatever annoyance I might have originally harbored quickly shifted to full on fear as my brain scrambled to figure out what I'd done to earn this treatment.

With lips pulled taut and brows intensely furrowed, Deidara growled something unintelligible under his breath with one last scan of the crowd.

Feeling like a helpless target within striking distance of his mood swing, my eyes pricked at the corners, silently begging for answers. Finally he spared me a glance.

"Shit, Izumi," he hissed, his stern expression dropping the instant he caught sight of my face, tearing the hand from it like he hadn't even realized it'd been there. "No, come on, don't look so scared," he pleaded, clumsily brushing my bangs aside like he was trying to prove his hands could do more than hurt.

"Did I..." I began, pausing with a wince to see if I was allowed to speak now. His visible eye was flitting across my face in waiting so I swallowed, voice small as I continued, "Did I do something... wrong?"

"No," he answered in a rush, looking physically pained by the question. "Shit. No. You didn't do anything, okay?"

"Then why...?" I trailed off, so confused.

"I think someone's following us," he explained quickly. "It just put me in defensive mode. I didn't mean to freak you out, yeah? I swear I'm just trying to keep you safe." Even though he didn't outright say it, the apology was thick in his voice.

I nodded apprehensively, convincing myself that his body still caging me to the wall was protection, not a prison.

"You okay?" he asked with another brush of my hair and I nodded with a bit more confidence. God, these shinobi were terrible on my anxiety.

"Alright. Stay close," he ordered and made to leave. His walk was brisk but I kept up for fear of what would happen if I didn't. My eyes darted from building to building, searching for anything or anyone sus.

Aaaand there he is.

Smiling at me, just sitting there smiling at me through the crowd. He wasn't even trying to be discreet as he sat cross-legged at the edge of a ramen shop roof with his hands buried in his lap like a kid. He rocked back and forth with the wind blowing madly through his hair. When our eyes connected his smile grew even wider.

I felt a rough tug on my wrist. "We gotta keep moving, Izumi," Deidara reminded before following my line of sight to the man on the rooftop. His smile dropped into a look of confusion, as if wondering why Deidara was looking at him with such a hostile glint in his eye.

"There's the weird chakra signature I was picking up," Deidara murmured. He growled low in his throat when the man suddenly brightened and waved at us.

I yanked on Deidara's sleeve, popping up on my toes to whisper in his ear. "That's him… the guy from the bath house."

He looked the same as before. The tassels of his hooded jacket blustered about and his eyes wrinkled at the corners, flashing a broad smile. There was something about him, something about that smile and those eyes that struck a dizzying chord within me.

Inexplicably and out of nowhere, the sound of a baby crying nearly shattered my ear drums. I looked around frantically, wincing through the cacophony that no one else seemed to notice, trying to pinpoint the source. A fruitless endeavor. My face scrunched and I shook my head like maybe I could rid myself of the deafening cry with the flip of my hair. Equally fruitless.

"Who the hell does he think he is, yeah?" Deidara's voice was sharp and spitting as he narrowed his sights on the guy. I tugged lightly on his sleeve again but he didn't acknowledge it.

"Deidara, I think we should go... please," I pleaded, tugging again, pulling on him with more of my weight. If hallucinatory baby cries were any indication, something felt severely off. Deidara snapped out of it and looked at me with fire in his eyes.

"Are you crazy? I have to get him!" I could feel the heat in his voice, every word igniting from his lips.

"What do I do then?" I asked too loudly just to hear myself over the shrieks which had only just started to wane, still looking around like a crazy person. "If you go after him, do I just wait here alone? What if something happens to you?"

I could see him doing the calculation in his head. Evaluating the risk vs. the reward. His jaw clenched as he stared down at me, the vein in his temple bulging with frustration as he reached the answer he didn't want.

"Alright, let's go," he said curtly, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind.

I glanced back at the man one last time only to find myself staring at a perfectly normal roof with not a soul on it. "Deidara, he's not there anymore." My eyes set to erratically search the area as I struggled to keep pace. Thankfully my ears were no longer being assaulted.

Deidara whipped his head in every direction, scouring the crowd with a grimace. "He could be anywhere. I don't even sense his chakra. Come on, we're getting you out of here," he growled and continued to tow me behind him, the two of us making for the woods with haste.

Once there, Deidara created another bird to ferry us home. He seemed beyond frustrated which made for a very quiet ride back.

The Akatsuki held an impromptu meeting as soon as we returned and I got to cooking right away. The sooner I finished, the more of the meeting I could listen to through the door.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any and all comments and kudos!

Chapter 9: Ouch

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Who the hell is this guy?" Deidara slammed his palms down, yelling across the meeting table. I stood outside of the door listening intently with my ear pressed to the grainy wood, a tray of food in my hands.

Pain answered first. "Zetsu is on reconnaissance right now. There is nothing more we can do but wait."

"Why the fuck do we care anyway?" Hidan scoffed.

"Well I know it's all very complicated, Hidan," Sasori stated, thickly sarcastic. "But he seems to be after Izumi."

"So? Maybe he'll take her off our hands. Be doing us a fuckin' favor." Hidan's comment prompted an uproar, too many people trying to speak at once.

"She is a useful tool in achieving our goals. Do not forget that she is the only key to unlock the Ten'yo nature manipulation abilities." Pain's flat reminder was somewhat drowned out by Deidara who was yelling mostly profanities.

Sasori offered a matter-of-fact reminder of his own. "She has been nothing but subordinate and helpful around the base, I see no reason for the animosity."

Kisame nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and I would miss the little bean if she left, and I think all of us would miss her cooking."

"Alright alright, calm the fuck down," Hidan griped. "Didn't realize I was attending the goddamn Izumi Fan Club meeting is all. Fuck me I guess."

For the next several minutes they discussed what was to be done with me, finally deciding that I should be monitored at all times when off base grounds. They'd rotate me between pairs out on jobs so I'd have more exposure to places, potentially jog a memory of the spring location. That, on top of Itachi's training, would hopefully get me to remember something.

"Does that sound reasonable to you, Izumi?" Pain called from inside.

"Biscuits…" I grumbled. Of course he could sense me. Eavesdropping in that place was freaking impossible.

I let out a dithery laugh, opening the door with a big, feigned smile. "Whatever do you mean? I was just stopping by with snacks." Most everyone's eyes lit up when they saw the huge tray of chicken katsu and vegetable tempura.

"Drop the act," Pain said, quick and to the point. He also told me where to set the snacks.

My smile ironed out. "Yeah, okay, I might have heard everything and that sounds fine I guess..." I set the tray down on the middle of the table and slid each person other than Sasori a small plate. One day I'd ask why he didn't eat.

"Smells great, kiddo," Kisame exclaimed, nostrils flaring at the wafting aroma.

Kakuzu grunted, which may or may not have been agreement.

Deidara had already started digging in and gave me a huge, cheek-stuffed smile.

"Thank you, Izumi." Itachi was the only one to actually thank me, of course. Him and his manners.

I smiled and nodded before being told to get out the hell out by Pain. No more fly on the wall for me. The door shut behind me and I meandered through the complex, idly wondering what my next adventure would be as an uncomfortable, tingling sensation began brewing behind my eyes.

That figured. I was pretty tired, long day and all. My walnut brain wasn't accustomed to so much excitement, and by excitement I meant nearly dying as part of my casual daily routine. No worries though, I could handle something as mundane as a headache. This was normal people stuff, finally something in my wheelhouse. I blinked hard repeatedly like jamming a reset switch, but no, it only got worse.

My vision actually began to blur and it was then that I realized I might've been in a pickle. Despite my stalwart avoidance of trouble, it always managed to find me somehow. Find me and spiral.

Scuffing down the hallway, I came to slump against a wall as the pain pulsed on, spreading from behind the eyes to my temples and around the back of my cranium. It was like a scratching inside my skull, little bugs racing across the surface of my brain and burrowing into the folds. It felt distinctly unlike normal people stuff.

Equally alarming was the sudden buckling of my knees. I let out a hiss as they cracked against the floor and folded onto my side like a paper doll. So as everything hurt and the world felt like it was caving in on me starting with my insides, I laid there just clutching my skull in a desperate attempt to hold it together. A pseudo-mantra of repetitious pleas leaked out from me-an endless string of 'pleases' and 'stops' in no particular order-the agony welling up in my throat and strangling the words pushing through.

"What're you fuckin' around on the ground for?" The voice came from the end of the hall, but I could barely make it out over the riot within my own head.

"Hey, I'm talkin' to you," they barked, getting closer. It wasn't a kind voice, but it was familiar at least.

"Hidan?" It was all I could get out through gritted teeth.

"You broken or somethin'?" Hidan stood over me and when I didn't acknowledge him further, he whistled, snapping like he was trying to get the attention of a dog. I felt something nudging against my side and it took a second in my disoriented haze to realize that it was probably his foot.

If I hadn't been slightly distracted by searing pain, I'd have peed on his leg like the dog he thought I was.

"Hey, quit fuckin' around," he demanded, growing more impatient by the second.

I wanted to answer him, I really did, but my jaw locked as a fresh wave of agony rolled over me. I didn't think it possible for the cacophony to get any louder, but I was as naïve as ever and promptly proven wrong. Clawing desperately at the back of my scalp suddenly occurred to me as a very sound idea. If I could just get to my brain, maybe-just maybe-I could pluck those skittering insects from it and wouldn't that be nice?

"Hey! Knock that shit off!" Hidan yelled, grabbing my wrists away and yanking me up to sit slumped against the wall. Finally managing to wrench my eyes open a crack, I saw him crouched before me looking as furious as he was bemused, my wrists caught in his grip. "The fuck's wrong with you?"

"S'just so loud..." I found my voice, however whining and squeaky it was, tears springing from the corners of my eyes which marked the beginning of some half-choked sobs.

"Loud?" he questioned rearing his head back like something about couldn't have been further from the truth. Shaking his head, he gave me an inscrutable look, eyes darting across my form like he was searching for something. "More like weirdly fuckin' quiet," he mumbled absently, still raking me over with an intensely calculated gaze.

I wouldn't pretend to know what he was talking about, not as the taste of blood assaulted my tongue. That was when I realized it'd been pouring from my nose like a leaky faucet. A few spewed profanities spilled out of Hidan before he yanked me up to dangle in his arms.

"Pain in my fucking ass... Makin' me part of the goddamn babysitters club," Hidan muttered, sounding like he was at the other end of a tin can.

"What the hell?" Deidara's voice echoed distantly down the hall. "The hell did you do to her?!"

"I didn't do anything! I fucking found her like this!" Hidan defended and waggled me around like a limp noodle, like that was somehow proof. "This what I get for being fucking helpful?!"

Deidara pulled a cynical face. "Oh, like I'm supposed to believe that, yeah?!"

"This motherfucker..." Hidan growled "You can blame him for whatever happens next, sweetheart." And with that, I felt the warmth retreat and any comfort leave my bones as I was dumped unceremoniously to the ground. "Fine. Don't believe me," he scoffed. "Take care of this shit yourself then, the bitch is broken or somethin', I dunno."

"She was fine five minutes ago until you fucking got to her!" Deidara's hand dug into his bag of clay as he glared at Hidan who just chuckled, reaching for his scythe.

"Y'know what your problem is? You need God," Hidan laughed, scythe clanking against the ground as he slid into an offensive stance. "I can arrange the fucking meeting, my guy."

Hidan made to dart forward but before they could clash, a sheen of raven hair passed between them, forcing an abrupt halt. Itachi cast a fleeting look to each of them, eyes flashing red. "If you're going to fight, take it elsewhere," he reprimanded as if speaking to two toddlers bickering over a toy.

Then he glanced at me.

Then everything was fine.

I felt no pain as I found myself sitting cross-legged in a flower-pocked meadow. There was a pleasant breeze to counteract the beaming sun and as I looked around, I realized I'd been there before. Well, not there, but inside one of Itachi's illusions. This one was a marked improvement from the last. Not a single knife in sight!

Though there was a single Itachi. Well, I assumed he was single anyway, not that I cared or anything. Pft. That would be dumb, me thinking about a silly thing like that, not while my body in the real world was undergoing some sort of unseen torture. Totally stupid and not at all what I was suddenly hyper-fixated on.

Delusional little walnut.

Anyway, there he was just sitting across from me looking perfectly impassive as I thought about the logistics of dating within the Akatsuki. It seemed almost impossible.

It was a strange mix of both comfort and discomfort, him staring at me like that, like I was something to be examined. On one hand it was nice to know he deemed me worthy of saving from whatever the heck had just happened, but on the other hand, good lord stop staring at me like that.

Always so cool and calculated, whereas I had about as much chill as a frilled freaking lizard.

As the silence stretched between us I began feeling more and more like I should break it-worst instinct ever, by the way. Nothing good ever came from my awkward attempts at conversation with this man.

I hit him with a classic. Couldn't go wrong with a classic, right?

"Sooo..." I began, picking obsessively at the grass. "Do you... come here often?"

THAT'S how you're gonna start this?!

Regret. Immediate and potent regret.

Itachi's expression twitched the slightest bit, some quickly tamped flash of mild amusement. "Izumi, I'm in your head right now... so no."

I either went white as a sheet or red as a tomato as I considered the horrifying implications of that. Pulling my hands down my face, I groaned, "Oh my God, does that mean you can read my thoughts?!"

There was no more hiding his amusement, a breathy half-laugh huffed from his nose and I felt like I'd won some sort of prize for my idiocy. My figurative lizard frills fanned out, vibrating with triumph.

"No, Izumi. Rest assured, I'm not certain anyone can determine what is going on in that head of yours."

Oh thank freaking God. I breathed out in relief.

You know that's probably an insult, right?

I cared not. Anything was better than knowing he had an all-access pass to my excessive pondering as to just how single he really was.

Itachi cocked his head. "You seem relieved, Izumi. Were you thinking about something so worrisome?" he asked so genuinely it hurt and I wasn't convinced he wasn't just playing dumb. Something about that look on his face.

After a second of just staring at him like a newly vegan zombie, I realized my mouth was hanging open at the loss of words. I promptly shut it, shaking my head and blurting in a rush, "No! Nope! Nothing really, just your standard thoughts up here! Very, just super normal stuff," I flashed an unconvincing smile, playing it cool, and knocked on my skull. That thing was hollow.

"Ah. I'm relieved as well then. I do hope you'll forgive the intrusion," he said, gesturing to the artificial world around us. "I wouldn't have used this technique without your consent if I didn't think it necessary."

I bit back a smile, seeing a terrible opportunity and taking it. "No, I suppose I don't mind it."

Itachi stared at my expectant, barely-holding-it-together face and clicked his tongue. "Is this... hm. You don't mind... that I'm in your mind... Izumi, are you punning at me again?"

"Yes! C'mon! It's a good one, just laugh!" I cried, exasperated and throwing my hands up.

He watched my tantrum calmly, looking vaguely entertained at the very least. "Well. I do find it funny-"

"Finally, thank you!"

"-that you find it funny " he finished.

I scoffed. "You really frill my lizard sometimes, you know that?"

"Izumi, I should tell you now that I don't have a single clue as to what that means."

"It means you should laugh at my puns!"

"Ah. Okay. I'll try to remember that then, if it would please you."

"It would, indeed please me."

He smiled, a foretell that he was about to be Itachi-levels of snarky. "Perhaps though... it might be easier if they were just a bit more clever..." he trailed off, his amusement growing as I stared at him absolutely aghast. He was teasing me. Why that little-oh who was I kidding I loved it haha. I scrunched my face, squinting at him hard and conjured up my most scathing pout.

He was entirely unaffected.

With a pleasant curve of his lips, he hummed. "As enjoyable as this is, time is odd here. Best you woke up now. Most of the pain should have passed, it's been a while."

"Wait, wha-" he reached out and tapped my forehead like it was the Tsukuyomi's off button.

Boop

My mind awoke first, my body following with all the giddy up of an old donkey. As the cogs started turning, I could feel that I was on a bed, body sunken into soft cotton sheets. They offered only a fraction of the comfort Itachi's illusion had. In there my throat didn't scratch, nor did the dull residuum of a headache nest behind my eyes.

With a scraping groan, I blinked my eyes open and realized immediately that I was in Itachi's room. The orderly neatness of it was a dead giveaway, but so was Itachi just standing there looming over the bed.

"Holy beans," I hissed, clutching at my heart. "I mean thank you!" I quickly amended, realizing my rudeness, considering Itachi did kind of save me from the pain of some sort of witchy curse.

"No need to thank me. How are you feeling?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. It sunk beneath his weight as he peered down at me from behind the few strands of hair that fell into his face.

"Good," I blurted quickly, swallowing at how very close he was to me.

He raised a brow. "Are you actually well? Or are you saying that because you think you're supposed to?"

"I'm a medium amount of good," I amended.

"Medium good," Itachi echoed.

"Right."

"So not quite good."

"I suppose not quite, yes."

"And what, may I ask, is so medium about it?"

"Just a little achey-but I'm fine, really! Much better, so thank you. I mean that. I... I have no idea what even happened," I groaned, rubbing my eyes and vaguely wondering about the atrocities I apparently committed in a previous life.

"Hm. Would you mind explaining it to me?"

I looked at him and hesitated. It was a blur and the only thing I was sure of was the pain.

"I... don't really know? I was just walking, I think, and then I felt weird?"

"Weird how?"

"Like a headache but louder? Like... really loud."

"And it's not happened before? You don't have any health conditions that could cause this?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"Do you know anyone that would want to hurt you?"

"No? I mean I barely know anyone in general. You guys are like my only friends as it is-well not friends!" I quickly corrected, realizing how very childishly naïve I just sounded. "I'm just a hostage, I know that." The flustered laugh I let out did little to cover my awkwardness.

Itachi just stared with a small smile, letting me backpedal until I was red in the face like he was content with me as a form of entertainment. What a disaster. When it was clear that I was keeping my mouth shut until prompted, he finally continued. "I only ask because it sounds very similar to a certain forbidden jutsu."

I stared, confused. He may as well have spoken to me in Latin. Luckily he realized his folly.

"It's a technique not meant for actual use, typically because it's considered inhumane. The one we're concerned about uses a piece of the target-hair, fingernails, blood-to cast pain onto them no matter the distance."

"Sooo like a voodoo doll kind of thing?"

"Precisely."

"Well I can tell you I've definitely not loaned any fingernails out recently," I said, fanning out ten fingers, each with a nail attached.

"No?" he hummed, reaching down and grabbing a lock of my hair, fingers grazing against my cheek as he did so. "How about any of this?"

I laid there in short-circuited silence just staring at the way his fingers rolled the small twist of hair between them for far too long. When mental systems came back on, however, I was reminded of a certain scenario from that day in the spring.

"Yes?" Itachi prompted, seeing the sudden remembrance translate through my eyes, his fingers stilling but not leaving.

"Th-that man, that weirdo from the spring!" I exclaimed, stuttering over my words as the realization hit me. "He touched my hair that day in the spring!"

Itachi's eyes narrowed. "You didn't think to tell us this before?"

If I truly was the dog Hidan thought, my tail would have been between my leg, the whites of my eyes showing as I looked back at Itachi with the guiltiest expression. "I-I don't know, I didn't think it was important… I'm sorry." I averted my eyes downwards and stared hard at the sheets. Idiot. Idiot. Stupid, very dumb girl.

He let out a sigh and and tucked the lock behind my ear, bringing my inward chastising to a crushing halt. "It's alright, I'm-we're just trying to protect you. Wait here and rest, I'll be back soon." With a poke of my forehead, he stood and left the room. I could have freaking drank the amount of sweat in my palms.

Gross.

Gross but true. Two voices sounded from just outside the door and only a moment later the doorknob turned. A blond curtain of hair pulled across the room and over to the bed and Deidara quickly took Itachi's previous spot at the edge.

"Hey, look who's awake? You feelin' okay, Izumi?" He placed the back of his hand on my forehead, noting with some relief, "Not so feverish anymore, yeah?"

"I'm alright," I assured with a smile, having no clue I'd been feverish to begin with. Apparently I was out for a while based on how these guys were treating me. He asked what happened and I explained it just as I had to Itachi.

"Damn," he said, looking distressed. "So really just out of nowhere then? Hidan wasn't lying?"

"Yeah... guess I'm just lucky Itachi showed up when he did."

"Yeah. Thank God for Itachi Uchiha," he said, suddenly clipped and staring at the wall like it deserved a beating.

"I-um, is there something wrong?" I asked, scouring the wall for any offensive marks, finding none and looking back at him.

"No," he snapped. "Everything worked out just perfect, why would there be anything wrong?"

"I guess... there wouldn't be," I agreed, confused and wracking my brain for something mundane to talk about since the current topic seemed prickly despite Deidara's words. I stared at him for a moment before noticing he wasn't wearing his scope. Perfect. A very innocent topic.

"Where's your eye thingy?"

"Didn't wear it," he answered short and to the point.

"Oh, well... why not, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Maybe I do mind. Maybe I just didn't want to, yeah? I don't see why you're making a whole thing out of it."

I sputtered, blinking madly as I reeled from his response. "I... I didn't mean to make a big deal out of it. Is... Deidara, is everything okay?" I asked hesitantly, completely thrown as to why he was suddenly being so curt with me.

"There's nothing wrong," he bit out quickly.

"O-Okay..." I could feel myself shrinking, trying to become as small as I felt.

Deidara pulled his gaze from the wall, took one look at me and sighed with a deflated slump. "Izumi," he paused for a scraping noise to come out of his throat. "I'm not trying to be an ass, yeah?"

"So what are you trying to be?" I asked, completely bewildered by his outburst.

He stared, brows sewn at the center and his mouth a stern line. "Just forget it," he eventually muttered, shaking his head and standing abruptly. I didn't have a chance to respond before he was gone, slamming the door behind him and leaving me in his wake to wonder what the heck just happened. There was a lot of that going on lately.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any and all comments and kudos!

Chapter 10: Warnings

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Once we're inside I'll have full control of the environment. It will be up to you to instruct me how to mold it. Try to make it how you remember. Understand?" Itachi gave me a reassuring head nod. I sat several feet away, directly across from him. It was time for my "memory training".

I swallowed, nodding back. "Yes, I think so."

His eyes flashed from ash to fire and I suddenly found myself in a plain open field with nothing but an endless expanse of grass and a few clouds overhanging in the sky. Itachi was there, just as he'd been before, sitting patiently.

"Well," he said, looking around. "Does this remind you of your home?"

Chewing my lip, I shook my head.

"No, I didn't imagine so. It was mountainous, yes?

"That's what I've been told." God, this felt useless.

"What about foliage? There would likely be some of that. Do recall what kind?" Itachi looked at me in waiting, a certain expectancy resting at the corners of his mouth. I took one more glance around me before wetting my chapped lips.

"Um, yeah... that would make sense, right? Like trees? A lot of them? Maybe some... some really tall ones?" I finally said with about 1% confidence.

"A lot of really tall trees then," Itachi repeated back as if it wasn't the dumbest thing ever and I was grateful for his tolerance. The earth shook, moaning and giving way to chaos-massive trunks shooting up from the crust in a spray of dirt and leaves bombarding us-and I all but squealed, diving out of the way and covering my head, waiting for silence or death before I dared move another inch.

So dramatic.

But neither came. The splitting of earth and all that obnoxious whooshing hadn't quite teetered off before I heard a very interesting sound that I would have thought lovely, had it not been way too freaking close. Right above me Itachi was chuckling softly, and as I pulled my head up, cracked an eye to look, I realized with horror that I'd thrown myself onto him- more specifically, buried my face in his lap.

I repeat. Buried my face... in his LAP.

Needless to say, my face burned about thousand degrees hot as I tore off him in a rambling, apologetic rush.

"My apologies, Izumi. I should have reminded you that nothing can hurt you in here. I didn't intend to startle you."

"No, no I should have known. I can't believe-I... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"What other changes need to be made?" he asked, cutting me off and graciously moving past it without another word. Had I mentioned that I appreciated his tolerance of me? Because yeah. Big time.

I gave him a grateful smile and took another look around, scratching my head at what needed to be changed. Nothing looked even remotely familiar yet, not even the trees. The size was right, maybe, but not the type. We played around with the color of the leaves and the how the branches twisted, the thickness of the trunks. I felt like I was grasping at straws the whole time. Itachi was patient with me though and we continued on like that for another hour, making little progress along the way.

"We should stop here," Itachi eventually stated, staring at me blankly. I got the distinct impression we were only stopping because of me and my limits, pathetic as they were. I'd clearly grown frustrated with myself and tired from the mental strain of being within the genjutsu. Pursing my lips, I considered lying, telling him I was totally fine and maybe if I faked being stronger for long enough, one day it'd actually become true?

"It's normal for it to take a toll on you, Izumi," he offered like he'd read my thoughts, though the more likely scenario was that I was a big emotional idiot that wore it all on my sleeve. Sigh. Just another thing to work on.

Begrudgingly, I conceded that maybe stopping for now would be a good idea, and with a nod from Itachi, the fantasy faded and I found myself sitting on the floor, alone in his room. It seemed odd that he wasn't there, must've left in quite the rush, but there was no sense on dwelling on that disappointment. I was just some civilian cretin that ate an hour of his time, couldn't blame him for wanting to get to other more important things. Lifting my butt off the floor, I patted the dust away and made my way to the kitchen more tired than I expected.

"How did your training go?" Sasori asked listlessly from the kitchen table. He sat slumped with his elbows on the tabletop reading the paper.

I sighed, big and scraping and pretended to stab myself in the neck.

"That good?" he mused.

I shrugged, running my hands through my hair. "It was alright, I guess? I don't think I remembered very much other than the fact that there were trees everywhere. And I'm pretty sure every forest has that in common, so... doesn't really do me much good. We had to stop after an hour because I suck so bad."

"Ah well, you have to start somewhere."

"Well I started by sucking."

"That's somewhere... kind of," he said absently, still reading and clearly only half paying attention to the conversation.

I snorted. "I guess… Hey, do you know what's up with Deidara? He was acting kinda weird yesterday and I haven't seen him around since."

A restrained, knowing smirk played on Sasori's face before he answered, "I think he's just a little troubled by what happened to you."

I opened the fridge, scouring it for comfort food. "Well that's hardly cause for a mood swing, it's not like he was the one in danger."

Sasori hummed. "I think it's more about how much he was able to help you—that being very little, in comparison to Itachi anyway. They have a bit of a rivalry, you see…"

Hm. Deidara always did seem to have some under-the-breath comment about Itachi... though Itachi never had anything to say about Deidara. But in all fairness, Itachi didn't have a lot to say about much.

"Well he shouldn't feel bad about that," I dismissed, "It's not like I blame him for not having Itachi's eyes."

"True, though I will let you in on a secret," Sasori began, suddenly hushing to a murmur, "Deidara's strong suit isn't exactly rational thought. Don't tell him I told you..."

I bit back a laugh, nodding and pretending to twist a key to my lips before throwing it over my shoulder. "Secret's safe with me."

"That and the fact that he picked a fight with Hidan, who, as it turns out, was miraculously trying to help you-so I'm sure he's feeling a bit embarrassed about the whole thing," he commented further, flipping a page.

"Oh… well that's weird," I sighed, grabbing the gallon of milk and pressing it to my lips. Living in a cave full of men made my motivation to drink out of glasses dismal at best. Sasori raised a brow at me as I continued to chug. Shame was for the weak.

But you are weak?

"Beans," I hissed through the overflow of milk pouring out, dribbling down my chin and onto my new shirt. Sasori's lips tipped at the corners, a small smile that even I could detect.

"It's not funny!" I laughed, sealing the milk and returning it to the fridge.

"Secret's safe with me," Sasori said surreptitiously, returning his attention to an article. "Oh, and give the training some time, greatness can't be achieved overnight," he lectured.

"Yeah, I know," I mumbled, still searching the refrigerator for something delicious.

"You cookin'?" Hidan's unruly voice sounded from behind me, his less than stealthy footsteps with that swagger of his accompanying it.

"I wasn't planning on it, but maybe," I said as I turned to face him, resisting the urge to be rude after knowing he had tried to help me. I could barely remember the details of what happened during that whole event but I vaguely recalled him being present and not terrible.

"What the fuck? Are you lactating!?" He asked in horror, pointing at my shirt.

"No!" I shrieked, slapping my arms across my chest to protect it from any unwanted ogling.

"Oh yeah, then how did that happen?" he asked cocking a playful brow and making a play to grab my arms.

"Don't you touch me, Hidan!" I warned, stumbling back in some skittish display of how to not have coordination. Sasori chuckled under his breath, watching the scene unfold from behind the paper.

Jumping back only cracked my spine against the counter and Hidan was on me with a grin, prying my arms from my body. "Hidan no!" I squealed, fighting uselessly with trembling arms, my face turning beat red with effort. He let out a laugh as I gritted my teeth and grunted, as if my agonized growls would grant me superhuman powers to crush him.

Not a chance.

"Ew, you are lactating! Fuckin' gross!" He yelled purposely loud so everyone would hear him.

"No! I am not lactating!" I yelled even louder. "So you can stop staring at my chest now!"

His hysterical laughter was only cut short by the thud of a fist over his head.

"Ow, what the fuck!" Hidan hissed, finally releasing me and whipping around to see a very unamused Kakuzu.

"Don't make me kill you," Hidan sneered, a low growl deep within his throat. I scurried away and hid behind Sasori, eyes peeking over his shoulder and narrowing at Hidan.

"Izumi," Kakuzu addressed me while rummaging through the refrigerator.

"Yeah-er, yes?" I hesitated, straightening up and stepping out from behind Sasori.

"Pain wants to see you," he said, opening the milk and tugging his mask down. I grimaced at his make-shift lips and mumbled an okay before leaving. Though I had to smile to myself as I heard Kakuzu curse on my way out. At least I wasn't the only one who'd look like they were lactating.

"Hey Zetsu." I gave a little wave to him standing contently in the hallway leading towards Pain's office.

"Hello Izumi, you look delicious." He smiled a toothy grin before explaining that he would escort me to Pain so I wouldn't get lost that time.

"Oh my, I have my own personal tour guide? I'm honored," I feigned admiration, clapping a hand to my heart. He gave me a smile and a nod and we proceeded down the many halls that I never bothered to memorize. I kept telling myself I would figure the place out eventually, whenever that would be. I had a feeling I wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, so I wasn't really in a rush.

"Here we are," Zetsu said, gesturing to the door. I gave him a thankful nod before knocking and he sank into the ground, leaving me alone to enter upon Pain's command from inside. The room was so silent that it made the door seem that much louder. I slid inside, shutting it behind me with a wince. Pain and Konan sat at the table, they watched as I made my way towards the vacant chair that sat directly across from them.

"I heard about your little incident," he started before pausing to continue, "and we have some ideas about the most probable cause."

"Okay," I urged him to continue.

"Zetsu was able to determine that the underwater base belonged to a man named Orochimaru. He was once part of this organization and someone I consider very dangerous. The man who has been following you is most likely one of his subordinates, whom we should also consider to be highly skilled."

I nodded grimly as I soaked in what he was telling me.

"Have you ever been in contact with Orochimaru before you came into possession of Akatsuki?" He asked sternly, eyes narrowed, and I stared into the spiraling vortex for a moment before answering.

"I… no, but… I feel like it sounds really familiar?" I squinted hard, digging into the archives of my mind. Where had I heard that name before?

"Please, Lord Orochimaru, we are grateful for the monetary assistance you've given us… and we've made every effort to keep the girl safe and secluded, but we live every day in constant fear with her in this house. If she ever lost control again… our children could be in danger. I must ask, when do you plan on taking her?"

My "mother's" words had a tremble heard even through the walls that night.

"Soon… very soon my dear. Keep her as you have been just a little bit longer and you will be rewarded," a deep, rasping voice consoled.

I looked from Pain to Konan with the realization striking me as I recalled the conversation between my parents and the unknown man. I couldn't remember the details until hearing the name again, but I was sure that's what she called him. Orochimaru.

"Izumi?" Konan prodded.

"Sorry…" I shook my head. "I think that's who my parents were talking to, who they were going to give me to. That's why I left."

Pain and Konan exchanged a look. One that said, 'that makes sense but dang, that is not what we wanted to hear'.

"Well," Konan began, "We are now under the impression that Orochimaru knows about your abilities, most likely to the extent we do, and he would like you for his own purposes. He is most likely the one that caused your incident using that forbidden jutsu."

Pain continued, "It's extremely powerful, but it consumes the required component-in this case, your hair. He won't be able to do it again without more. Be warned however, he only used a hair. If he gets his hands on your flesh or blood…" He trailed off and let me use my imagination. I visibly cringed at the thought before shaking my head of it.

"Okay…" I said, still trying to take it all in. "So is that all you wanted me for?"

"Not quite. Kakuzu requested you to accompany him and Hidan on their next mission so I'm sending you with them. They should be quite capable of keeping you out of harm's way."

My jaw dropped, eyes bulging and desperately praying for Pain to jump up and start dancing on the tabletop to reveal that this was all some sort of prank. Confetti would also be flying all over the place. "Are you joking?!"

My hopes were quickly dashed.

"No. You'll be leaving in two days." He had his serious face on so I didn't fight it and just resigned myself to slump in the chair a little more.

"Okay… Is that it then?" I asked, inadvertently rolling my eyes.

"Lose the attitude," Pain scolded.

Before I could even scowl, Konan interjected. "Izumi, if I might have a word."

Pain stood and exited, leaving Konan and I alone at the table together. I suddenly felt overwhelmingly intimidated.

"I couldn't help but notice you've managed to create quite the bond with some of the men in the Akatsuki over the last month…" She started in, her eyes examining me closely. Too closely for my liking. I tried hard to maintain eye contact as she continued on. "And my understanding is you have no real knowledge of the world, especially not the life of a shinobi."

Despite her weirdly accusatory tone, she hadn't said anything untrue yet so I just nodded and continued to listen.

"Be careful," she warned bluntly. It didn't feel like a warning to protect me, it felt like a threat.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked, completely confused.

"These men need to stay focused. Izumi, you need to understand that no one ends up in this group because they had a good life. They are all broken and they all serve a purpose under the Akatsuki. It's become abundantly clear that some of them have never known what it feels like to be cared for and experience something even as simple as being fed a home-cooked meal... I don't need them losing sight of their goals." Her words weren't mean mean, but her tone was cold and her eyes unblinking.

"So you're worried they'll be like… I don't know… distracted by me being nice to them I guess? Because if so, I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm not even a thought in their heads I'm sure," I assured her, still uncertain as to what she was getting at.

"You really are naive, Izumi. Look at you. You are a beautiful, young, weak woman in the midst of a group of powerful but severely emotionally shattered men… and they may be discovering that they enjoy protecting something weaker than them instead of just protecting themselves like usual. There is a certain pleasure in it, if you're lucky enough to have someone to protect. It's a slippery slope and one that I advise you do not climb," Konan finished curtly and expressed that I could leave. I did so, absolutely dumbfounded.

Despite some of the things I'd been feeling for some of those guys… I was certain it would not be reciprocated. I wasn't sure if I should be insulted or complimented by Konan, but one thing I was sure about was that I was most definitely confused. What was I supposed to do, stop cooking or something? Would that really do anything?

I thought about it a lot over the next couple of days, which went by quickly but not without incident. Of course.

I wanted to find Deidara before I left. I'd been feeling bad about him feeling bad and really just wanted to clear the air before I left for potentially a week, and with Hidan and Kakuzu no less. Part of me wondered if I really just needed a pep talk and that was the real reason I wanted to sort things out with Deidara. Though Kisame would probably give a pretty decent one too.

I did attempt to memorize the layout of the base, but it was a process. Zetsu had explained it was like that on purpose. In case there was ever an intruder or someone disguised as an Akatsuki member, it would make it extremely difficult for them to navigate the complex. Smart idea, but bad news for me.

I wandered around for a while looking for Deidara without success. At one point I passed by a staircase leading down and recalled the subordinates I'd seen that one night when I got sick. It sent a chill down my spine. I sometimes thought about the man with the leathered, red skin and the way his blackened eyes fell upon me.

So imagine my absolute mortification as the door opened with me just standing there in front of it, zoning out like an idiot. I jumped and stumbled backwards as soon as I realized what was happening. The sighing creak of door hinges sounded off in a high pitch as if a warning alarm. It preceded the man behind the door itself, and wouldn't you know with my luck, it was that man.

I had managed to put about two meters between us just by stumbling backwards before he noticed me. The same smile as before crept on his face. It was like he knew something that I didn't and took great pleasure in it.

"And what do we have here?" he asked, his voice a low, thunderous rumble.

As per usual, my ability to form full and coherent sentences was a crap-shoot so I squeezed out a garbled, "Sorry, I'm go," before turning quickly on my heel, speed walking around the corner and continuing in any direction that was away from him.

Is he seriously following me?

I rounded bend after bend, turning and winding about, but I swore I could hear heavy footsteps always just a little bit behind me, but there was never anyone there when I looked. My brisk walk turned into a full on run and then a sprint, but no matter how fast I went, the footsteps remained stalwartly behind, always just out of sight. I wondered if it was all in my head, but I didn't want to find out. There was no way I could outrun or hide from anyone in that place, especially not while I wore those ridiculous bells that chimed unceremoniously with each step. I had to risk it, I had to just do the thing.

Wincing my eyes hard, I concentrated with all my might and flung myself against the stone wall before me. My body cracked against it with fury and I found myself gasping for breath on the ground, holding fast to my ribcage which hurt like hell. "Ow…" I groaned, pushing myself to my feet. I could hear the footsteps coming upon me with haste, I was sure of it.

Come on, Izumi. Pull yourself together… and maybe just walk through it this time.

God, my stress levels were shooting through the roof as I tried to calm myself enough to focus on using my earth phasing ability. It got to the point that my entire face was red and shaking with forced concentration, a familiar warmth trickling down from my nostril.

Ignore that.

Finally, hands pushing against the wall with all my might, they suddenly flew through it with my body following. I stumbled forward with a startled cry and found myself tripping and tumbling over furniture before ending up as a heap on the floor, breathing heavy and looking beyond disheveled.

"Oh my God!" I shrieked as soon as I noticed a very irritated Hidan sitting in his chair with prayer beads in his hand. Of course I would end up in his room.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any and all comments and kudos!

Chapter 11: Entry Into The Izumi Fan Club

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Oh my God!" I shrieked as I looked up to see a very irritated Hidan sitting in his chair with prayer beads in his hand. Of course I would end up in his room.

"Can I fucking help you?" He demanded, not moving from his position.

"I um… I… ah," I decided I should catch my breath first. "I'm sorry… one sec..." I managed between gasps.

"For Jashin's sake, did you just fucking run a marathon before ghosting your way through my fucking wall?"

I shook my head, trying to come up with the best way to explain myself. "Oh good lord… you could have been naked," I muttered with some shock.

That's not an explanation, Izumi…

At this he actually laughed, "Yeah well, you're not that lucky."

I rolled my eyes and hoped my labored breathing would disguise my own amusement.

Touché.

"Hey uh… you've got a little," Hidan gestured just below his nose with a wiping motion.

I hissed, swiping at the blood frantically. "Thanks… I um, I think someone was following me? So I kind of freaked out and phased through a wall. Turns out you're not that lucky either because, well, it happened to be your wall I guess." I said with a small humorless laugh.

"Wow, really great story. Well hey, thanks for the visit, the exit is right there," he gestured to the door. I looked between it and him and let out a sigh.

"You're honestly the last person I want to ask for help but-"

"So fucking don't," Hidan cut me off matter-of-factly.

"Listen, Hidan," I began, frustrated but trying to remain calm, "I know you don't like me, but the fastest way you can get rid of me right now is to just pop out into the hall with me and make sure no one's out there… and maybe possibly show me how to get back?" I asked with a pained smile and awkward shrug.

"Oh I see!" He exclaimed with feigned excitement. "Is this how I get to join the Izumi fan club? What do I have to do to get my first badge? Oh I know I know, I'll do it like everyone else. They're always picking you up and shit, right?" Hidan set the prayer beads atop his dresser and began approaching me.

"Nope! I can stand on my own, no worries," I assured. But he was fast . Before I knew it my body was flung over his shoulder like a ragdoll.

"Okay okay, I fucking picked you up. Now what, what's step two for the uninitiated?" It was evident he was getting quite a bit of amusement out of the whole thing judging from the thick coating of hilarity on his every word.

"Hidan, please, you can stop and I'll just go. Okay?" I protested from over his shoulder.

"Nah, I'm joining the fucking club. I'm finally ready. Alright so what next… Oh I know, how about we put little Izumi to sleep? She's probably super tired from all the clumsy shit she pulled all day."

"Stahhhhp," I whined, somewhat through a laugh. He wasn't wrong .

I landed on his bed with a harsh bounce and looked up to see a highly amused Hidan pretending to ponder his next move.

"Alright, she's in the bed. I feel like I'm really fucking killing it right now, am I right? But how could she possibly be comfortable without being tucked in? Izumi is what, 9 years old? 10? Yeah, we tuckin' her in, no brainer," he ranted as he began throwing blankets on top of me.

"I'm not a child!" I refuted, hardly able to even contain my own laughter at that point. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was actually a little funny but it was getting to be so ridiculous that I couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Hidan, you can seriously sto-" I cried through my fit of giggles.

"Noooo no no! Izumi needs her sleep, how else will she have the energy to fucking walk around ?!" His hands jabbed beneath me to tuck the blankets tightly around my body to the point where I couldn't even move. I had done it, I had become a mummy.

"Why do you hate me," I deadpanned up at his shit eating grin.

"Sweetheart, I don't hate you. How can I hate someone I don't even think about." He smiled.

Back to being an actual dick.

"Can you just get me out of this?" I asked with a sigh.

"Nah, I'm good," he said calmly, taking his seat again and picking up his prayer beads. I watched as he moved his fingers between the beads, his eyes closed and lips moving slightly as if he were reciting something in his head.

"Well if I'm stuck here, do you want to at least tell me about Jashin or whatever you're doing?"

"You want to hear about Jashin?" He asked with an incredulous look before proceeding to enthusiastically launch into a lengthy tirade about Jashinism. It was honestly the most genuine and excited I had ever seen him so I mostly nodded and asked some small questions here and there to get him to go on.

"Okay, so Jashin requires human sacrifices…?" I was pretty sure I understood that correctly but felt I should really clarify that piece of it.

"Right," Hidan answered happily.

"And it doesn't matter who they are?"

"Yeah, could be anyone. Jashin doesn't really have a type , ya know? Everyone is equal in the eyes of Jashin, which I think is very generous."

"Sure, sure… equality is good I guess," I mumbled hesitantly.

Psycho.

"So if you wanted, you could hunt down bad guys and sacrifice them to Jashin and become this, like... holy punisher type of person?" I suggested. His eyebrows came together a bit in thought.

"Hmm I guess, never really thought of it like that. I just kind of pick anyone that crosses me," He said with a shrug.

"Interesting… Hey, Hidan?"

"Hm?"

"Would you be mad if I peed in your bed?" I asked in the hopes that he would unwrap the blankets around me. As stupid as I assumed he was, he did not fall for it.

He gave me a knowing smile. "Be my fucking guest."

"Beans n' biscuits…" I grumbled. He took a moment to laugh a bit too wildly at my foiled plan before he came over and with one hand, ripped the blankets away in one clean motion.

"Okay, okay, you can get the fuck out now," he said, seemingly satisfied with the mostly harmless toture he had been able to inflict on me.

I rolled out of his bed quickly and made to leave but found myself stalling at the door. My hand was on the knob but it didn't turn, I couldn't get that man's obsidian eyes out of my head. I had spent a while in Hidan's room, which is a sentence I never thought would exist... Could he still be out there roaming around?

"Oi… Did you hear me? I said you can fuck off," Hidan reminded me with some annoyance.

"I- uh…" I looked at Hidan who had returned to his chair, the beads between his fingers once more. "Yeah, okay…" I said quietly, resigning myself to just wing it and hope for the best. In all fairness, I wasn't sure if it was even real or in my head in the first place.

It was probably fine. I turned the knob and pushed the door open, looking skeptically in each direction before stepping quietly through the doorframe and shutting the door behind me. The door didn't click shut, I looked back at it in confusion to see Hidan suddenly looming behind me, leaning against the frame coolly, his foot keeping the door open.

"The fuck are you so worried about?" He asked, looking down at me.

"I swore there was someone from downstairs following me before… that's how I ended up here." I confessed, holding onto my own arm and shrinking slightly as I thought about it.

"Well, there's only one chakra signature out here now and it's yours. Oh… wait, we've got another." He paused in waiting, as if trying to determine who it was.

I immediately scurried back into his room, squeezing past his rather bulky form that took up most of the doorframe, and peeked down the hallway from behind him.

He slowly shifted his gaze to look down at me. "You think I'm gonna protect you or something?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I mean… I think you might? If it would make for a good sacrifice?" I asked back with a shrug.

"Fuck, you got me there," he muttered, looking back down the hall. I could see a smirk form on his face.

"Oh, this'll be good," he said to himself before turning back to me. "Come on in, Izumi," he said with a very charming smile, lifting me over his shoulder once more and tossing me on the bed again. "Make yourself comfortable. I don't think it's safe out there right now, probably best to just wait it out, yeah?"

"Wh-what? Why are you catering to me all of a sudden?" I looked at him skeptically while trying to fix my hair from being thrown around so much.

Suddenly the door burst open without warning.

"What the fuck dude. You ever heard of knocking?" Hidan asked coolly with a huge smirk stretched across his face.

Deidara stood in the doorway looking slightly bewildered between Hidan and me.

"Deidara!" I scooched off the bed and skipped over to him.

"The hell is going on in here? You alright Izumi?" Deidara asked, looking me over quickly before shooting an accusatory look at Hidan. Unbeknownst to me, my hair was still looking like a hot mess and I had a smear of dried blood under my nose. Not my chillest vibe.

"Um yeah, it's fine. I was actually looking for you," I said calmly.

"Looking for me... in Hidan's room?" Deidara raised an eyebrow.

Hidan couldn't have looked more pleased with himself at the conversation unfolding. "Yeah man, poor Izumi here needed someone to help her out with something. She couldn't find you but I was happy to step in, Deidara-kun," he grinned broadly.

Okay, what the hell is happening here...?

I looked back and forth between the two alphas. Hidan looked like he was having the time of his life while Deidara looked like the vein in his forehead was about to explode.

"You're a real piece of shit, you know that?" Deidara growled at Hidan.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I was just helping Izumi who had someone chasing her through the halls. Should I not have?" Hidan feigned good intentions.

"Chasing you?" Deidara snapped his attention to me. I shook my head dismissively.

"I honestly think it was all in my head. I was just freaked out and I think I got a little paranoid." I sighed while scratching the back of my head.

"Geez you're something else," Deidara said with a small laugh. "Let's get you back, un?"

I nodded, "Okay."

Deidara walked out first and I followed. Peeking back into the room before I shut the door, I could see Hidan moving back to his chair.

"Thanks, Hidan," I said quietly. As much as it pained me to thank him for anything, I wasn't so sure that he wouldn't have brought me back to the common area after all. Begrudgingly or not.

"Any fucking time," he flipped me off with a smile. I scoffed and shut the door, skipping to catch up with Deidara.

"Izumi you gotta be careful with that dude. He's what we in the business would call 'unstable', un," he remarked, leading me down the various passages of the complex.

"Yeah well, I'm going on a mission with him and Kakuzu tomorrow so I'm not thinking I have that luxury."

He stopped in his tracks and turned to me incredulously. "You serious?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess Kakuzu requested it? I don't really know anything besides that though."

He started walking again, his brows knitted together in pensive thought. "That's weird. Kakuzu usually takes the bounty jobs. I wonder why he'd want you there for that…"

We had finally reached the common area at that point and Deidara began rounding into the kitchen.

"Deidara…" I deadpanned, "did you just want me to make you food?"

He grinned, "just come in here, yeah?" With a playful roll of my eyes I reluctantly followed.

"Oh…" I paused as I entered the kitchen, taking notice of the arrangement on the table. There was a single spot set with a plate and silverware. Three partially burnt pancakes sat upon the plate in a disheveled little stack, a pat of butter and syrup on top and several pieces of blackened bacon to the side. Behind the plate was a carton of orange juice and a small clay vase with an ornate clay flower in it.

"You already made yourself food. Wow, Deidara, I'm really impressed!" I encouraged enthusiastically. Deidara nearly fell over.

"Aw come on Izumi, you're killing me here…" He said, scratching the back of his head.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You really think I went to find you just to show you that I made myself breakfast for once?" He asked with a heaping helping of exasperation.

I shrugged apologetically. "I mean, it does kind of seem like an accomplishment for you?"

"You're unbelievable…" He countered, his one visible eye twitching. He moved over to the chair and pulled it out. "It's for you, you dope."

"Oh… OH! Oh my god!" It took me several moments to register how absolutely, downright silly I had just been. Of course, this was something normal people did for each other on occasion.

"Oh Dei, I'm so sorry! It really looks great!" I gushed quickly, fumbling over my words and wishing desperately to be able to travel back in time about 30 seconds with my new understanding of basic human interaction.

"Dei," Deidara repeated, questioning it like was something suspicious. Like I'd just called him this foreign term that might secretly be an insult.

"I mean Deidara! I'm sorry. That's just what I call you in my head. Today isn't my finest. Sorry Dei... dara. Gah, I did it again!" I shook my head in apology. "I know that's not what you go by."

"Well, you're right, it's not what people call me, but… I suppose it's what you could call me. I guess I don't hate it," he said in a way that made me think he might actually like it? "But that's all beside the point, are you gonna sit down and eat or what?"

"O-oh, yes!" I rushed over to the spot, which, now that I knew it was for me, was exceptionally cute. The little clay flower was so delicate and pretty, and I should have known Deidara wouldn't make himself a freaking flower… I wouldn't have expected him to make one for me either though.

"Hey there, you alright?" Deidara asked, tilting his head down to meet my eye level. His hands were still resting on the chair, waiting for me to sit down. I had gotten lost in thought and snapped out of it at once.

"Yeah," I assured with a smile. "I just… it seems so obvious now that you wouldn't do this for yourself, but no one's ever done anything like this for me. It's really sweet, Dei. How do I even make this up to you?"

"Why don't you start by sitting down, yeah?" he said with a smirk. Right, sitting, the thing he'd been asking me to do for a while now. I laughed through a sigh and took my seat, hoping I'd develop some common sense within the next ten seconds.

"This flower is really beaut-" Before I could finish my sentence the flower was gone, blown into thousands of tiny pieces in a tiny explosion that looked like tiny fireworks. I jumped, letting out a startled yelp which had Deidara laughing pretty good.

"What were you saying about the flower?" he asked with a grin.

"I was just about to tell you how loud it was," I scolded, tamping down my heart rate.

"Yeah, I thought you'd like it," he laughed, taking a seat beside me. "I know it's kinda burnt, yeah… and we ran out of glasses for the juice, but I know you like to drink straight from the carton anyway," he explained somewhat apologetically.

"It's perfect," I said, cutting the pancakes accordingly.

"Well don't say that until you've tried it," he teased, waiting and watching with great anticipation.

I paused and looked at him. "This is a lot of pressure, you know. You're really just going to sit there and watch me eat?" I questioned.

"Well if you give me a bite then technically we're both eating. I can try it first and let you know if it's safe?" He offered playfully, opening his mouth. The one on his face.

I raised a brow at him. "Fine," I said, stabbing some sufficiently syrup-slathered pancake onto my fork and guiding it gently into his mouth. His playful expression soured almost immediately as he grabbed the plate and rushed over to the sink.

"Holy shit, do not eat that!" he choked, spitting out the bite he had taken. "Seriously, I think I just saved your life. You totally owe me one."

"You're the one that made it!" I reminded him not so gently.

"A trivial detail," he retorted with a shake of his head, still grimacing.

"Dei…" I scolded with a humorous sigh, "you don't want me owing you one, I'm not good at anything."

"Aw, I'm sure we could find something you're good at," he said with a tilt of his head and an unwavering stare.

There was something about the way he said it, like there was more implied beneath the surface. My face immediately went red and I hopped out of my seat.

"Cooking!" I shouted like a maniac. "I'm good at cooking! Hah! Look at me go, how could I forget. How about some breakfast then?!" I practically shouted while gathering pots and pans in a rather noisy fashion. Despite being startled by my sudden outburst, Deidara happily hung out with me and wolfed down the meal I prepared.

I was good at preparing food. I was not so good at preparing myself for the upcoming trip with Hidan and Kakuzu.

Notes:

Thanks for reading :)

Chapter 12: Izumi and The Zombie Duo

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

After a couple days of travel with the interesting duo of Kakuzu and Hidan, I was honestly impressed Hidan hadn't killed me yet.

"I still can't fucking believe this," Hidan whined as we set out on foot for day three of our journey. "Do we seriously have to deal with her the whole time?"

"I hope you realize that I have to deal with you as well. No one is exactly winning here..." I quietly pointed out as I trudged behind him. His hand flew to the handle of his scythe and I took a step back out of instinct. He grinned and let his arm fall slack again.

"Jerk…" I grumbled under my breath, letting my heels scuff against the ground as I walked, too tired from the past couple days of travelling to pick them up.

"Would you at least fucking walk right? I know you're just a civilian or whatever, but I feel like walking is one thing you should be able to do," he complained as he strode in front of me.

"Why? It isn't bothering you, is it?" I asked back sweetly as I purposely dragged my feet across the ground even more. Just as Hidan was about to whip his head around and spit some more venom at me and possibly make some threats, Kakuzu intervened.

"Would both of you shut up?!" His piercing green eyes made my blood run cold. Hidan mumbled profanities under his breath and we continued on in silence for a long time after that. My feet ached after countless hours of walking and my face felt hot from the sun beating down on it all day. I poked at my cheek lightly and hissed under my breath at the slight stinging sensation.

"Are we almost there?" I whined.

"For the love of Jashin, would you just shut the fuck up?" Hidan complained more loudly than necessary as he threw his arms in the air. Kakuzu looked back at me and came to a halt. He leaned closer and touched my cheek.

"You're getting sunburned but we're almost there. We can take the forest route, it's more shaded," he decided systematically, more like he was thinking aloud. It didn't really solve my aching feet but I'd take what I could get at that point.

The forest was beautiful, but not the best for walking. I had to constantly watch my feet for fear of tripping over one of the many roots that twisted menacingly from the ground, and all the vines that hung from above disguised themselves as snakes and giant centipedes in my peripheral vision.

"Ah," I breathed out as I swatted away at a swarm of tiny flies that couldn't seem to find a more comfortable spot in the entire freaking forest other than directly in my face. Kakuzu looked back at me with some amusement as my face contorted with frustration while waving my arms wildly in front of me.

"What the fuck are you doing back there?" Hidan questioned when I started coughing. "You forget how to breathe too?"

"Ugh," I rubbed my throat. "I think I swallowed one." Both Kakuzu and Hidan let out some laughter.

"It's really not that funny, guys," I whined, trying to hide my own amusement.

"Oh, it's very funny actually," Hidan said, giving me a strange look.

"What?"

"Nothing, forget it." He waved me off.

"What? Come on, tell me!" I whined, tugging on his cloak sleeve from behind.

"You really want to know?" he questioned warily.

"Yes!"

"Well that fly you ate..." he trailed off with a click of his tongue. I looked at him with wide eyes that urged him to continue. "It's actually a parasite," he said ominously.

"What do you mean?!" I cried, jumping in front and halting him with my hands thrown to his chest. He stopped and looked down at me very seriously before placing a hand on my shoulder and averting his eyes to the ground, "I'm sorry Izumi, but you don't have much time left before it lays the eggs."

"Eggs?! Wh-what happens after they hatch?" I asked desperately. He looked at me before sighing deeply and staring at the ground. He couldn't even say it.

"Hidan, that's enough," Kakuzu said, his tone stern but still slightly amused.

"Aw c'mon dude. You always have to ruin all the fucking fun, Kakuzu," Hidan whined, pushing past me. I stood there in a stupor realizing what had just happened.

"Hidan!" I cried, smacking his arm. He and Kakuzu shared a hearty chuckle. How nice for them.

"It's not my fault you're so fucking gullible," he said between laughs.

"You need to find something more constructive to do with your spare time," I mumbled bitterly as I stomped behind him. He shot a devilish smirk at me and I poked my tongue out. He responded in kind with a wink which flustered me enough to scoff and look away.

We continued on until the smell of various foods wafting through the air became distracting enough for me to actually ask about it. "Hey, you guys smell that?"

Hidan flared his nostrils high into the air. "Smells like we're close," he agreed with a smile.

"We are, but we're not wasting money on food, we still have some," Kakuzu said, causing my smile to turn sour.

The trees parted in the distance, revealing a cleared path that led to a giant archway adorned with statues and traditional carvings. II stopped at the impressive arch and let my fingers graze over the carvings, imagining how much work it must have taken to make something so beautiful.

"Let's go, Izumi," Kakuzu commanded, clearly annoyed and unimpressed.

"Deidara and Sasori would have appreciated it…" I mumbled under my breath before jogging to catch up and pulling the hood over my head. Hidan allowed himself to trail behind for a moment so that I was sandwiched between them as we walked.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly, leaning forward to Kakuzu.

"The clothing shop," he answered without elaboration. I waited for a minute expectantly, but he didn't say anything more.

"Why?" I pressed.

He let out a heavy breath with aggravation. "We need to buy you something, now stop asking questions," he ordered without even looking at me. I sighed to myself and followed mindlessly like I'd been doing all day.

"Alright," Kakuzu said as we turned to enter a women's clothing shop. Hesitating with a glance around, I felt a push against my back and I stumbled into the store before sending a quick death glare to Hidan who was just smiling behind me.

"Izumi, come here." Kakuzu was by the counter and I quickly joined him.

"This is her?" A small woman from behind the counter squinted at me. Kakuzu nodded and she began fumbling through the mess of garments that hung from closets behind her.

"I've got just the thing," she assured as she pulled out an elaborately decorated dress and set it on the counter. My jaw dropped when I saw it, it was the smallest piece of clothing I'd ever seen. What there was of it was very pretty… but unless I was about to enter the exotic dance industry, I couldn't fathom a reason for me to wear such a thing. Kakuzu grabbed it and pushed it towards me.

"Go put this on," he demanded with no explanation. I glared at him harder than I'd glared at anyone in my life which was impressive considering how much time I'd spent with Hidan over the past few days. He was insane if he thought I was wearing that.

"You've got to be kidding me Kakuzu, what is this for?" I asked in annoyance with my hands resting firmly on my hips.

"You're on this mission for a reason, Izumi," he said sternly.

I leaned in, hissing, "And what reason is that?! So I can play dress-up in a whore house, hm?" He took a warning step forward, his green eyes shining brightly under the shadows of his face like a cat's in the moonlight as he towered over me.

"Listen carefully because I am only going to explain this once. You need to infiltrate a man's house and lure him out. He only allows women in which ordinarily would not stop us, however, he's apparently hired someone to place a warding jutsu on his mansion that does not allow for large chakra signatures to pass... You'll have to go through a screening process to get in, so you need to wear something that will get you chosen over the other women. Now... go. put. this. on." He shoved the dress into my hands and I took it unwillingly.

"This isn't right," I mumbled as I slipped into the dressing room and stripped off my simple clothes, letting them fall into a heap on the floor. I exhaled and sucked in harshly before yanking the dress on. I tried to simply pull it on at first, but I soon realized there was no way it was going to fit without a little force. I admitted it was well made since it didn't tear when I squeezed into it, much to my dismay.

It was a dark cobalt blue that shimmered with light sapphire embroidery detailing the corseted area. It pulled in tightly at my sides making me appear almost sickly slender, and my meager breasts somehow nearly touched my chin they were pushed up so high. The corset ended at my hips and flowed into a satin skirt that fell well above mid-thigh. The shopkeeper came in to finish tying the last of the corset strings for me.

She took a look at me, tugging at the skirt to straighten it out before stepping back with folded arms and giving me a nod, "Looks good on you."

I stared at myself in the mirror and groaned. It didn't even look like me, how could it possibly look good?

"Let's see," Kakuzu said from outside the door.

"No, that's okay," I called from inside as I grabbed my cloak to cover up.

"Izumi," a warning sounded in his voice but I refused to open the door.

"No!" I called out as I scrambled to get into my cloak.

"I'll fucking rip this door right off of its hinges if you don't get out here right now," Hidan's voice boomed. I heard the customers in the shop go silent, most likely just as scared as I was. I swallowed as I hesitantly unlocked the door and turned the knob. It opened a crack and I stepped back from it. Kakuzu opened it fully and stared in, examining me meticulously with his beady green eyes. I covered myself with my arms and stared in humiliation at the ground.

"Put your arms down," Kakuzu commanded. I obeyed, my face red hot with embarrassment.

"Holy shit, look at the whore," Hidan exclaimed with a laugh. I closed my eyes to stop the tears that wanted to break through my barriers. I didn't have a witty comeback.

"Okay, that's good," Kakuzu said decisively.

"One more thing, come over here," the shopkeeper directed me to a vanity behind the counter. I followed mechanically. She spent a great deal of time applying all sorts of stuff to my face and hair and if I thought I looked like someone else before, I was completely unrecognizable now. As soon as she finished I pulled on my cloak, bristling past Hidan and Kakuzu without so much as a glance and I kept my mouth shut as we navigated the streets.

"This is the place," Kakuzu noted as we stopped in front of a lavish mansion. I looked at him blankly, not having said a word since I put the dress on. I couldn't waste precious air on words because the corset was making it very difficult to breathe on its own, thank you very much.

"Go knock on the door and tell them you want to see Gorzo, they'll understand," Kakuzu began instructing me of the plan and despite wanting to do nothing but be an absolute brat, I paid close attention. "You'll be screened with other girls to decide who gets to see him. Make sure you get it. When you do, you'll be taken to his room. From there you must lure him outside to the gardens where Hidan and I will be waiting behind the mansion. Do you understand?"

"What if I don't get chosen?" I asked.

"I am confident that you will," Kakuzu stated matter-of-factly.

"I'm not…" I muttered before he startled me, grabbing my chin roughly and forcing me to meet his very severe gaze.

"No more attitude. That will get you killed. Understand?"

I nodded, eking out an apology and wincing at the force of his grip.

He let go with a sigh, straightening out to stare down at me once more. "I'm not going to sugar-coat this. Gorzo is the type of man that typically gets what he wants. Be prepared for that and do whatever is required to get him outside so we can take care of it. I'm aware you don't want to do this. I'll admit I'm not particularly fond of the plan myself, but there is no other way," he said sternly and it felt like the closest I'd ever get to an apology or consolation.

"Okay," I said with more confidence than expected before leaving the Akatsuki's side and walking towards the front door. My heels clunked against the cobblestone pathway with every step. I took a deep breath before knocking delicately against the ornate door that stood before me. When I glanced over my shoulder, Kakuzu and Hidan had already left.

"May I help you?" A voice startled me. I snapped my attention forward to see a tall, lumbering man before me. His dress was professional, and demeanor intimidating.

"I-I'm here to see Gorzo," I said with my hands clasped together behind my back, internally cursing my timid stutter. The man looked me up and down before instructing me to remove my cloak.

"Just gotta see what's going on under there, dollface," he assured with a sick smile. I groaned inwardly as I pulled off the cloak. The sight pulled a smile across the man's face as he nodded to himself. Disgusting.

"Very nice. Come right this way, darlin'," He placed his hand on my lower back and pushed me along with him up three flights of stairs and into another room where he gestured for me to enter. I did as he requested.

There were two other girls sitting on a couch in silence. One had long red hair with emerald eyes, her dress was clearly made to mimic the brightness of her irises. The other was brunette, her hair twisted in an elaborate design and her dress hugged her tightly, red and orange reaching to her knees. They were gorgeous.

I could feel their eyes judging every part of me and I did the best I could to ignore it as I stood uncomfortably, not looking to squeeze in next to them. After several minutes of awkward silence, the man from before entered again.

"Ladies, follow me." He waved us towards him and we obeyed, guided into yet another room. This one had a long platform raised about a foot off the ground which we were instructed to step onto. There were stood spaced evenly from each other, on display for the only other person in the room.

A rotund man sat behind a desk that surveyed the little staging area. He was balding in such a way that only the sides of his head showed any sign of life and his mustache sat thinly across his top lip. It curled upwards when he smirked.

"What a selection!" Gorzo exclaimed, rubbing his hands together as if he was about to dig into an all you can eat buffet.

The chair beneath him skated back and he stood from his desk. His stride was harsh and unflattering as he walked over to the red-haired woman to inspect her closely, examining every detail about her. She giggled playfully when he grabbed a lock of her hair to smell before moving on to the next woman who gave him a seductive wink when he looked at her. Freaking beans. These ladies came prepared with tricks, techniques. All I had was a skimpy dress and a scared crapless look cemented on my face.

I watched with dread as he smirked at her flirtation, clearly a fan, feeling the material of her dress between his fingers-surely just an excuse to rub against her legs.

Finally he approached, standing before me with wandering eyes. I had no idea how to flirt, I couldn't even look him in the eye. Kakuzu was going to be furious when I inevitably blew it. One slight consolation was that when I did attempt to look at Gorzo, I realized it probably didn't matter if I could meet his gaze because eyes were aimed a little lower than my face.

Pervert.

I opted to stare at the floor as he continued to examine me. It was a good floor.

"Such timid eyes," he murmured, grazing my cheek with his fat finger. I flinched as he startled me, my eyes finally connecting with his and seeing not an ounce of kindness in them. I swallowed down the horrible feeling twisting in my gut and threatening to climb out of my throat.

"I've made my decision," he announced abruptly.

"Sir?" the man at the door questioned.

"Take these two." He gestured towards the other two women. My jaw dropped and they glared at me on their way out. He chose me? This was the worst good new ever.

"Come this way, my sweet," he said, way too giddy for my taste, as he walked through another doorway which led into an elegant and spacious master bedroom. I choked back the urge to vomit in my mouth at his choice of nickname. Two colossal windows faced out towards the courtyard where I was supposed to be leading him. It really was a lovely view, but I was more concerned with other things at the moment.

Gorzo shut the door behind me, the click of the lock being engaged could be heard and it sent my heartrate climbing. I purposely stepped in front of the window in case Kakuzu and Hidan were watching so that they'd know I made it in. I saw no one, however.

Notes:

Thanks for reading :)

Chapter 13: Gorzo's Mansion

Notes:

Pleade be advised, this chapter contains violence and sexual assault

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The room was enormous. High ceilings embellished with paintings, an extravagant chandelier refracted little rainbows across the walls. The biggest object in the room was an oak-framed bed covered in a velvet blanket, red silk sheets, and an over-abundance of embroidered decorative pillows. Two night stands hugged the sides, an alarm clock on one and an ashtray on the other. A still-lit cigar sat casually in the tray, its smoking fumes slinking upwards with artistic grace.

"Do you like the view?" he whispered into my ear from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist. My whole body went rigid. This was not a touch I was accustomed to, not one I'd ever even had before, and certainly not from a stranger.

"O-oh yes, it's lovely!" My voice cracked as I maneuvered coyly from his grip and attempted to smile at him. He grinned back and advanced again, hints be damned.

"I know another view that would be lovely," he cooed, trailing his index finger down my jawline and neck. When it began to venture further I stepped back with a spike of nervous energy, that fake smile still plastered on my face.

"Maybe you could show me your courtyard first?" I suggested sweetly. "I'd love to see the flowers."

"Mm. There's only one flower I'm interested in..." It was a failed attempt at being seductive as his gaze flitted down to my short skirt. He reached over and pulled the curtains closed without breaking eye contact—he was used to this.

I was screaming inside my head, that window my only lifeline to the people that might help if things went awry. And the way they were going so far, awry would come any second now.

His sturdy, pot-bellied form was overwhelming as he pushed me backwards towards the bed. I fell onto it, bouncing roughly as he landed beside me. He reached over to grab his cigar, the sickly smell bombarding me with every puff.

"You're so beautiful, kitten," he whispered, plucking at one of my corset strings, causing it to loosen against my will. As much as I wanted to get out of that dress, I wanted to stay in it as long as I was around that bear of a man. I tried squirming away before he could pin me down with his weight but he was surprisingly quick about it.

"Can't... breathe," I wheezed until he lifted himself, propping over me with his elbows.

He took a long puff on his cigar and gave me a playful glance, his lip curling into a sickening smirk before blowing the smoke out and leaning in for a kiss. I wrenched my head to the side, a tiny whimper unintentionally escaping my lips. He went along anyway, attacking my neck with his tongue as his sausage fingers roamed my body before beginning to burrow down the top of my dress.

I knew I was supposed to play along, do whatever it took to get him outside, but it didn't seem likely that I'd be able to do that before things went too far. And too far for me was... well, most things.

I wasn't so naive or uneducated that I didn't know about sex… but I'd always thought of it as something romantic between two characters in love from one of my novels. Something I vaguely read about from the comfort of my room. I never thought of it as something someone could do to you, something that could be forced upon you. And in that moment I realized how truly stupid and unaware I'd been.

Of course this evil existed in the world, why wouldn't it? I knew then that I couldn't complete my duty. Even with how much I wanted to be strong and prove myself, I just couldn't do it.

"Please… stop," I managed to squeak out, trying to push him away. To my horror, this only seemed to excite him further.

"Oh ho ho, I do love when they play hard to get..." he growled, continuing his assault on my neck, lips smacking away and making a variety of other nauseating noises as he traveled down to my collarbone.

"I said stop!" I cried, shoving him away. My palms mashed into his face, contorting it as all his mass pushed to one side. He grunted, finally annoyed with my antics, before lifting off me.

"The hell's wrong with you!?" he barked, the rage shaking his voice and making it rougher than before. I rolled out from under him and leapt off the bed, staggering backwards for a moment, not at all accustomed to the imbalance of stilettos.

"I just want to go home!" I yelled, shifting to stand defensively, like I would even know what to do if he came at me. Hah.

"Oh, so you wanna play rough?" His beady eyes narrowed, sinking even further into his skull.

Not what we said at all, actually.

"Well I can show you rough." He smiled in a decidedly unfriendly way before lunging towards me. I leapt onto the bed, crawling frantically to the other side, the velvet blankets slipping beneath my knees making it impossible to move with any haste at all.

"Ah!" I shrieked as I felt a forceful grip wrap around my ankle.

"Oh no you don't," Gorzo spat through gritted teeth, the cigar still held between them. I clawed desperately at the blankets to pull myself towards the edge of the bed, but the wind flew from me as I felt myself being yanked backwards. He grabbed my torso and flipped me onto my back, and as the reality of what was happening struck me, I found my throat closed tight, unable to make so much as a peep, let alone scream for help.

"I wanted you, so I'm going to have you," he snarled, the smoke billowing from his mouth like a disease. I squirmed desperately as his fingers dug deep into my hips, tugging me against him with a sick slap of our bodies. I found my voice enough to whimper out a string of no's and his hands travelled up my skirt, tearing aggressively at my panties. They tore easily.

There was a moment when I looked into his eyes, searching them for anything, any shred of humanity. But the only thing I saw was a clouded soul, iced over with selfish indignity and lustful hatred. They glinted with wild delight, reveling in my trepidation. His smile was too wide and it twisted like the roots of a dying tree. Blackened in the crevices, the smoke from the cigar seemingly flew from his mouth as if to show the stench of his breath and wickedness of his spirit.

"Struggle all you want, it'll only make things more fun for me," he snarled through gnashing, grinning teeth. I gasped with horror as I felt him against me. With my underwear torn, the only thing separating him from me with the thin fabric of his own lounge pants. His hands released me for a brief moment in order to remove that final barrier. I knew it was my only chance.

"Get off!" I shrieked, pushing myself back and kicking at him in a tactless flurry, connecting with his face just once.

My eyes shot open, jaw falling slack as I gaped at the image before me. Gorzo's eyes were just as wide as mine, quivering with shock as a gurgling noise bubbled in the back of his throat. The stiletto heel pierced through his right cheek and could be seen dripping through his open mouth. A red trail dribbled in a line down his neck—as if telling me to go for his jugular next—and seeped slowly into his shirt. The cigar had fallen from his mouth, continuing to smolder by itself on the floor.

"Oh God!" I yelled as the shock passed. I tore my foot back, ripping the heel from his flesh, and shakily scrambled off the bed.

"Filthy fucking whore!" Gorzo's voice was distorted by the pooling blood in his mouth and the boiling blood in his veins. He grabbed me more roughly than he had before. I could feel my skin bruising on contact as he pulled me towards him by my ankle once more and seized me by the neck, the skin dimpling deeply beneath his fingers. I grasped frantically at his hands as my eyes began to roll back in my head.

"That's right," he ground out, blood dribbling from his lip. "You don't need to be alive for me to get some use out of you, worthless bitch."

The implication was abhorrent. It would have nauseated me more had I not been preoccupied with the pesky task of removing a set of hands from my throat. Ripping at his hand did next to nothing, however clawing at his eyes proved most effective.

Gasping deeply as his hands released their grip from me, my body was flung to the ground. I landed with a thud—my back and head cracking harshly against the floor— and tumbled several times before coming to a violent stop against the wall. I let out a weak cough as I massaged my neck, just laying there and staring at the ceiling through bleary eyes. It spun above me like a confused carousel, turning to the beat of my drumming heart. But before I could regain my senses, he was over me, holding me down beneath his weight and straddling atop my petite frame.

"Help!" My scream came out hoarse and weak before he clapped his hand over my mouth. My arms flailed out to the sides, reaching and scraping for anything that could help. We were close enough to the window that I recognized the velvet beneath my fingers as the bottom hem of the curtains. That wouldn't do me any good but I still yanked at them despite this. Perhaps I would get lucky and pull the curtain rod down in just the right angle to fall of Gorzo's thick skull.

The curtains resisted my initial attempts but soon gave in to my desperate, persistent tugging. They fell in a heap on top of Gorzo and myself. He flung them off easily and with annoyance, the curtain rod missing him by a mile.

"Help!" I tried screaming again, nothing more than a pathetic, muffled noise against his palm. My left hand slapped against the glass in vain while the other attempted to pull his hand off my mouth quite unsuccessfully. Hot tears streamed from my eyes as I realized with tremendous panic that I was powerless to change what was about to happen.

"No one is going to help you here." He spattered blood across my face with every syllable. I knew he was right. I knew the position I was in, but damn it if I wasn't going to fight.

I clenched my eyes shut and brought my teeth down hard on Gorzo's fleshy palm. He roared, tearing his hand back and slapping me hard across the face. I spit the blood from my mouth to the side before I noticed him glance to his right, his eyes gaining a new sparkle of wickedness.

"You're going to beg me for death by the time I'm done with you," he spat, reaching beneath the bed to grab the cigar that had fallen from his lips earlier.

I shrieked as he brought the cherried end to my temple, screaming out over his bitter laughter that echoed loud and unbearably in my ears. The cinders smoldered against my skin, marring my previously unscathed face and my body began to tremble, heart swelling violently within my chest. The feeling was sickening, an urge to kill and protect myself so strong that it put the taste of bile to my tongue.

When I felt him push the cigar even harder, I couldn't think of anything but the pain and how badly I wanted it to stop.

So do it then.

I wrenched my eyes open to glare up at him with bared teeth, jaw clenched.

"Oh, now that's a dangerous look," he jeered, blood still dribbling sloppily from his lips.

It wasn't meant to be dangerous. It was meant to be focused.

Not unlike the thick liquid gathering at the corners of Gorzo's mouth, I felt a sensation I'd become increasingly familiar with coming from my nose. It dripped slowly before picking up pace and streaming down from my nostrils, across my cheeks as I concentrated hard on my rage, urging it to metastasize into something cancerous. Please.

A conflicted cry burst from me with wretched force. The hot cherry of the cigar burned even hotter against my flesh but I needed to power through it, I had to make it so hot that it became fire. It was all I had in my arsenal.

"Wh-what the hell?" Gorzo sputtered as the cigar sparked with a tiny explosion before erupting into flames entirely.

This is it.

The pressure of the the searing pain relieved itself from my temple and I stared gobsmacked at Gorzo, his arm aflame and the blaze travelling abnormally fast across his chest like wildfire, as if the flames themselves fed from his malice to grow as large and wicked as he was. Such was my will.

I gaped at what I'd done for a brief moment before desperately worming my way out from under him and crawling towards the window. With a fearful glance I saw Gorzo moving to his feet, wailing in agony as he slowly staggered towards me.

I couldn't stop the tears. My vision blurred terribly as I looked out the window, my forehead hitting against it with exhaustion.

There they were. Hidan and Kakuzu.

I actually smiled a little at the sight. They were so close, yet so far away. I blinked furiously in an attempt to clear my vision. Hidan looked to be losing his mind at Kakuzu and in turn, Kakuzu seemed to be trying to calm him down. Probably mad that they'd be in trouble with Pain for getting me killed.

Still on all fours from crawling over, I brought one hand against the glass, slapping it hard and causing the window to shake. I tried pushing myself up to my feet but I was at the end of my rope, even the smallest of actions made me dizzy and light-headed, the edges of my vision reducing to areas of light.

Squinting hard, I could make out Kakuzu pointing at me and yelling something at his partner who snapped his attention toward me as well. They looked like they were trying to tell me something but I couldn't hear through the glass. I did what any reasonable person would do.

My fist went through, digging gashes into my hand like a plow running through earth. But there was no pain anymore, only adrenaline. I continued to smash the glass urgently, not caring about the shards embedding themselves in my skin.

I could finally understand what they were saying. "Behind you!"

Snapping my head back, I hadn't noticed how close Gorzo had gotten in the heat of the moment. His face was contorted, the hungry flames making him appear as the devil himself. His black eyes blazed intensely within the fire as he lunged towards me, grabbing me up by the throat and raising me to dangle in his grip. The flames encasing him licked out, singing the ends of my hair. I clawed at his arm as it lifted me from the ground, leaving my feet to flail about trying to find purchase.

"You wanted to leave? Then leave," he bellowed, his voice so booming it nearly had an echo. He thrust me through the massive window and released his choking grip. I felt the shatter of glass against my back before my body became weightless. It moved on it's own to grab wildly at the only thing within reach, Gorzo himself. Snagging at his robe, I didn't manage to hold on but it was enough to throw him off balance. As I began to fall backwards I took solace in the look on his face as he realized that he too would take the trip just after me.

Notes:

Thanks for reading :)

Chapter 14: Sacrifice

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The scream caught in my throat as I plummeted from the fourth floor, weightless for a moment, my stomach lurching into my throat. I wondered if that was what it would feel like for Gorzo just before he died. Or was he in too much agony from the flames that he wouldn't even register that he was falling to his death. I hoped that he knew, just so he could feel that terror inside his core, the same kind he made me feel.

I would hit the ground any second. It wasn't really that I'd accepted my fate necessarily, but I was tired. I hadn't accomplished anything in my life and despite feeling like I'd finally found a small niche where I felt semi-comfortable, it seemed like I had gotten myself on the fast track to an early grave... so maybe it was good to just get it over with? At least I could say I took Gorzo with me. I closed my eyes and waited for it to end.

"Oof," I wheezed, the air flying from my lungs as I landed roughly but not on the ground. There was no splat, no breaking of bones, not even a sprain. I squinted and swore I was hallucinating. Hidan's eyes looked vibrantly magenta in the sunlight which was so bright behind him it created this glowing aura. The man looked like an angel staring down at me.

I met his eyes with an exhausted smile and in a haze, found my hand reaching up to touch his face. "Pretty…" I mumbled as my fingers glanced along his jaw in a sloppy motion. It was then that I noticed the crimson that covered my hands. Letting my head cock to the side, lolling on the shoulder, I brought my hand closer to my face to examine the shards of glass protruding from the flesh. "Ow…" I whispered to myself.

I knew I had to be hallucinating because when I looked back at Hidan, his face was contorted with something I didn't recognize on him. On anyone else I'd call it worry? Concern? Certainly with a healthy serving of fury which suited him just fine. My eyebrows came together in confusion, my breath coming out in ragged gasps and my chest heaving with all the force and rhythm of a tide crashing to shore.

His fingers squeezed tight around my arm before finally he finally said something. "Yeah, and you're pretty fucked up…" His eyes seemed to be surveying the damage, darting quickly between my various injuries. A certain intensity took over his expression the longer he observed me.

"He did this to you?" he asked with knitted brows. It was a rhetorical question considering that much was obvious. He seemed mostly in disbelief of my current state.

"He isn't dead yet," Kakuzu announced from his position kneeling over the slumped, fat body of Gorzo who was no longer on fire. "Barely alive," he elaborated.

Hidan's eyes narrowed dangerously, shining with vivid color before they widened in delight. He suddenly burst out laughing, a fanatical cackle like I'd never heard from him before. He glanced cheerfully down at me before moving to set me down beneath a nearby sakura tree. I even shocked myself when I clung to him with what little energy I had left.

"Please don't," I begged, feeling strangely safe in his arms and not wanting to relinquish the respite. He hesitated, regarding me with a cock of his head.

"What are you worried about? Trust me, he ain't movin'," he laughed, nodding towards Gorzo.

"I… he…" I stammered, unable to answer the question. I looked frantically between Hidan and Gorzo but I couldn't seem to put it into words. Not out loud anyway.

Look, I just want you to hold me, okay?

"Hey. No one else is going to fuck with you. They'd have to get through me, alright? Just give me a minute," he assured as he peeled my fingers off his cloak, still smiling. "Jashin will have him," he announced joyously with his hand gripped tightly around his scythe handle.

It moved gracefully as he swung it above him. I watched as the sun reflected off the metal, creating an almost magical-looking sheen that cut through the air with poise and refinement. A few birds chirped merrily from the Sakura blossom tree as if spectators in an arena, cheering on the death of a tyrant.

I wondered if he considered it art like Deidara or Sasori did for their abilities. It reminded me of a ballet, the blade leaping and twirling about with grace. It pirouetted in the air before returning to his hand. He dug it into the ground beside him and searched within the confines of his cloak for something else before re-emerging with what looked like a black rod. I looked on in puzzlement as it suddenly grew into a pointed spike when he flicked it outwards.

He wailed, something like a giddy war cry, before slamming the spear into his left leg. The tip of the barb could be seen emerging through the back of his limb, glinting red in the sun's rays. I gasped, frantically trying to stand before noticing Kakuzu had appeared behind me. His dark hands pushed down on my shoulders, forcing me to remain seated.

"What is he, crazy?!" I yelled in horror at Kakuzu, starting to snap out of my haze. He sighed beneath his mask, shaking his head.

"Just watch," he commanded. Hidan's screeching laughter filled the air as his blood began to pool on the ground beneath him. His unscathed leg stepped into the crimson puddle and dragged backwards. I watched intently. By the time he was done with his odd posturing, he stood powerfully in the middle of the symbol he'd created. I recognized it as the same one that dangled from his neck.

"Izumi!" Hidan called out with an audible smile without turning to look at me.

"Y-yeah?" I asked meekly in return.

"Come here," he said, still that metallic joy ringing in his voice. I looked to Kakuzu who shrugged, clearly not knowing what the heck Hidan had up his sleeve either. I stood using Kakuzu's shoulder for balance, legs shaky but not completely out of order, and scuffed over to him. He looked back at me over his shoulder with a grin stretched charmingly across his face.

"Yes?" I asked hesitantly as I stood beside him, reminded again of just how much taller he was than me. I cranked my neck back just to look at his face. Noticing this, he leaned in and down to meet me at eye level.

"Is any of that blood on you his?" He asked, lightly taking my chin in his hand to angle my face in different directions, scrutinizing me with a certain unchecked hunger.

"Y-yes?" I was admittedly taken aback by the bizarre question, subconsciously touching my neck, feeling the sticky sheen of blood that had gurgled out of his mouth and onto me while I'd been pinned beneath him.

"You're sure that's all his?" He pressed, eyes following where my fingers had moved to.

"I think so," I answered, bewildered as to why I was even receiving this line of questioning.

"Well, we'll fucking find out now, won't we?" Hidan said with a cocky smirk.

I was completely caught off guard as he suddenly moved in even closer, tilting my face away from him. I didn't even have time or strength to react as I felt his tongue press against my blood-stained skin, dragging slowly across my collar bone, passing up my neck and working his way toward my jaw. As he reached the end, his mouth closed around my quickened pulse, lips coming together slowly to savor every last bit of the still-warm blood that adorned it. And while he didn't exactly bite me, I shuddered involuntarily at the feeling of his teeth gently scraping against my skin and the very brief sucking sensation directly atop my wildly pumping artery. He lingered there for a moment before pulling back and guiding my chin down to lock eyes with me.

The grin on his face seemed to grow wider as he took in my reaction, leaving me to wonder what kind of expression I wore. I snapped my mouth closed, not realizing my lips had parted with a heavy breath, and tried hard to comprehend what just happened. Seemingly satisfied with this, Hidan released me and turned his attention to Gorzo's heap of a body again. I stood in place, in shock once more.

Hidan glanced at me as he brought the pointed rod to his finger and poked the tip just slightly, drawing a bead of blood.

"Did you feel that?" he asked.

"No...?" I was so confused.

"Perfect. Go back to Kakuzu." I was so weirded out that I didn't even question it. As I slowly approached Kakuzu, I could see his amusement even through the mask.

"What the hell was that?" I asked while frantically wiping my throat with the back of my wrist.

He just shook his head.

"Seriously though, what just happened?" I asked in a harsh whisper as I sat in front of him in a daze of sheer bamboozlement.

"Just watch, Hidan needed some of Gorzo's blood for his technique."

Technique?

"It's tiiiime for judgment babyyy!" Hidan hooted, stamping his foot excitedly as his skin transitioned from noon sun to midnight sky, stark whiteness running in patterns across him. I had never seen him so happy—so insane.

"What is he doing?" I asked in a hoarse whisper, my voice rough from screaming and being throttled.

"He's sacrificing him to Jashin."

Hidan and I had spoken about Jashin and I knew there were sacrifices involved but I didn't know the specifics, and it was clear that I never truly understood it until that point. I watched as Hidan returned his attention to the spear in his left hand once more. Gorzo's body lay dormant in his own pool of blood, but even I could see the soft rise and fall of his chest which caused his back to raise and lower as he remained stomach-down against the red-stained cobblestone.

"How do ya like this, motherfucker?!" Hidan cried out as he stabbed the pointed barb into his own shoulder.

"Hidan!" I screamed out as the blood burst from him and splattered to the ground. I struggled to go towards him but Kakuzu held me in place once more.

"Izumi, just watch," he ordered once again in annoyance.

"But he's going to kill himself doing that!"

Hidan glanced back over his shoulder with a wide grin on his strangely colored face, "I'm fuckin' immortal, sweetheart!" he laughed maniacally as he stabbed himself in his other leg without so much as a wince.

"Oooh it hurts so fuckin' good, don't it!?" Hidan gritted as he tore the spear from his flesh yet again.

"See?" Kakuzu gestured towards Gorzo's body. The surrounding pool of blood grew more vast around his shoulder and leg, and his weak groans could be heard when Hidan stopped laughing. I watched in shock as Hidan appeared more unhinged than I'd ever seen him. And I thought he was scary before…

"And now, ladies and gentlemans, it is time... for the grand FINALE!" Hidan aimed the spike at his heart, and I cringed when I saw his intention.

"Does he always do this?" I whispered.

Kakuzu sighed deeply. "Unfortunately."

Suddenly everything happened like it was in slow motion. I saw it coming but I couldn't react until Hidan's head was already flying through the air. A surprised scream burst from my lips as I watched the massive fuuma shuriken cut through the air. By the time Hidan noticed, it was too late. I stared in horror as his head tumbled to the ground, rolling several feet before finally coming to a stop. A large group of very angry looking men stood rigidly in Gorzo's room, flames blazing ominously behind them and smoke pouring out by their feet.

"There he is!" One of them exclaimed as he pointed to Gorzo's body splayed out on the ground. Some of the men were shinobi, others just workers, one of which was the man who answered the door when I had first arrived. He locked eyes with me, his face burning with rage.

"Get that bitch!" I heard him shout. Kakuzu sighed like this was a very irritating inconvenience and stood from behind me.

"Stay here," he said calmly, eyes darting to survey what was surely about to become a battlefield. One rather headstrong ninja jumped down and charged Kakuzu with full force. I turned my head so I wouldn't have to watch, only to find myself looking despairingly at Hidan's lifeless body which had returned to its usual peachy color. His head had rolled away from it, the usual luster of his silvered hair was no longer—it had become dull from dirt and death. A pain caught in my throat as I stared in revulsion at his beheaded body.

Looking up to see Kakuzu fighting with ease by the mansion, I glanced furtively in each direction before making a crawling break for it over to Hidan's head. I didn't want to look at it like it was, the very least I could do was put it with his body and maybe cover him up with something. My knees scraped across the coarse stones as I made my way over, not particularly caring about spilling any more blood than I had already. I shook my head to eradicate the tears welling in my eyes before I hesitantly picked up the head.

"Izumi!" It shouted excitedly when I turned his face towards me.

"AHH!" I screamed, throwing the head in the air and scooting back abruptly.

"Ow, what the fuck!" He yelled, landing harshly on his cheek. I stared with my jaw slack, wondering how this could be. The wells that had been forming spilled down my dirty, blood-spattered cheeks at that point

"What the heck! How are you still talking?!" I cried out in horror, frantically swiping the tears away.

"Are you fucking crying?" he laughed. "I told you I'm immortal, now come get me!" he screeched before trying to stick his tongue out and drag himself towards his body. I scuttled over and grabbed his head, frantically turning it over in my hands so that I held it by the cheeks.

"Ow, what the fuck is all over your hands?!" he winced.

"It's glass, I'm sorry!" I yelled apologetically, accidentally dropping his head again.

"Would you stop fucking doing that?!" I scooped him up, this time holding his head similar to a baby with my forearms so that my glass embedded in my hands wouldn't poke him.

"See, that's much better," he said excitedly, nuzzling up against my chest.

"Hidan, you pervert!" I screamed, letting him drop once more.

"Fuck! Stop fucking dropping me, Izumi! " I flinched at his booming voice before hastily picking him up one more time.

"I said I was sorry!" I yelled back as I stood, holding his face in front of mine by the roots of his hair.

"You're really fucking lucky I don't have a body right now!"

"Not great motivation to get me to put your head back on!" I retorted. Now that was a sentence I never thought I would say… I retreated back to the shade beneath the Sakura tree and plopped down.

"There, feel better?" I asked, sitting cross-legged as I adjusted Hidan's head in my lap in a way that I made sure there could be nothing suggestive about it.

He stifled a laugh, "Oh yes, much better."

"What now?" I demanded, exhausted.

"Nothing," he laughed more boldly this time.

"What?!" I yelled, throwing my arms up.

"I can seriously see up your nose."

"Hidan!" I shrieked, picking up his head so we were eye level. His eyes suddenly widened.

"Fucking duck !" he yelled. A feeling of terror came over me as I dropped Hidan's head into my lap and curled over, covering the back of my skull with my arms. A thunderous crashing noise exploded just behind us as bits of wood came raining down like budget confetti. A smothered mumbling came from Hidan's head.

I lifted myself up and he gasped for air. A sly grin snaked its way onto his face before yelling, "Stop shoving your tits in my face and fucking run!"

My eyes narrowed and I began to scold him but I choked down my words, quickly realizing that it was not the time or place. I would have to yell at him later.

"Ah, fuck woman!" He yelled as he bounced around wildly, my hand gripping him tight by the roots of his hair as I ran. When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw the man who tended the door. He was standing hunched over by the tree that he just blasted through, breathing deeply and glaring at me with screwed up face.

"Kakuzu!" I cried out as I ran towards him. By the looks of it, he was just finishing up easily demolishing the last of the men that bombarded him. He looked at me, then the man who was in pursuit.

"How do you always manage to get yourself into such trouble?" he complained as he snapped the neck of a man who'd been dangling in his grasp before letting the body fall into a mangled pile with the others. I choked back the vomit that rose from my lurching stomach and continued running awkwardly in the stilettos.

"Stay there, Izumi," Kakuzu commanded as his arms flew from his body. I skidded to a halt and nearly fell over from the heels yet again. The speed of his arms whizzing past me created a gust of wind. I froze in terror, Hidan's cussing head dangling from my fingers. A gurgling noise erupted from the man behind me before the thud of his body hitting the ground could be heard. I didn't feel safe to move until after I watched Kakuzu's arms retract swiftly into his sleeves.

"Toss me that head," Kakuzu commanded with his hand out, poised to catch. It was so casual. This was just Tuesday for them, meanwhile it was competing for 'most traumatizing day' in my book.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Hidan yelled as he attempted to shake free of my grip. I ignored him, lobbing the head to Kakuzu sufficiently enough for him to catch it.

"Put me on my body Kakuzu-kun, pleeeeease!" Hidan cried out, Kakuzu looked to be contemplating whether he wanted to help him or not.

"Fine," he agreed. "I'd like to leave before more people come." He knelt down to Hidan's body and roughly shoved the head back into place.

"Don't be a fucking douche about it," Hidan whined as Kakuzu began sewing him back together. I knew where he was coming from—Kakuzu wasn't the gentlest person in the world. But after you survive your head being sliced off, I would imagine that something as simple as stitches couldn't be that bad.

"Ugh!" I exclaimed at noticing Gorzo for the first time in a while. His head was also chopped off because of Hidan's technique. It rested on its side next to the body, his eyes still open and gazing at nothing. I wasn't as freaked out as I thought I would be, mostly because his eyes already looked dead, even when he was alive.

"Fuck yeah!" Hidan laughed when he stood up and noticed it as well.

The courtyard was now devoid of any previous beauty. Blood-stained sakura blossoms littered the ground and blew around like ashes from a fire. I couldn't help but get wrapped up in staring at the pile of bodies at it's center.

"Izumi, let's go," Kakuzu's voice brought me out of the strange daze. I shook it off and trotted to catch up to him and Hidan. Kakuzu dragged an enormous body bag behind him filled with every pound of Gorzo, and Hidan held a bag out to me.

"What's this for?" I asked, weakly accepting it.

"Your clothes. You can change once we get into town, but right now we gotta get the fuck out of here," he said, staring out at the horizon.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 15: Rest

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The sun was setting, it's sacrifice to the night spilling across the sky in a wash of red not unlike the blood beneath my feet. I caught myself staring at Hidan who seemed almost thoughtful as he looked to the sunset. It was a strange sight, but since I'd come to the Akatsuki, all I'd seen were strange sights.

Heels clicking against the stained stone with a haunting echo, we exited the grounds through the woods behind the property. When we finally hit grass I thought the cease of clacking would bring some peace, but the quiet was somehow worse. It let my thoughts get way too loud.

Death had come to Gorzo by my hand, even if Hidan did speed along the process. Knowing I was a murderer in the most technical sense... well, it left a wobbly little pit in my stomach, some sinking unsteadiness. Though that could've had something to do with nearly dying myself, and while not the first time since I'd fallen into the Akatsuki's hands, certainly the most violent.

Speaking of unsteadiness, I plopped onto the ground, tired of my heels sinking into the soft earth with every step.

"What are you doing now?" Kakuzu bemoaned.

"I'm taking these stupid heels off and changing into my normal clothes," I mumbled through gritted teeth, struggling to pull the deathtrap shoes off. Admittedly though, they probably saved my life that day. I hissed, hands slipping, pushing the glass shards to further embed in my palms.

Kakuzu approached and bent down. Swatting my hands away, he pulled it off with ease, then did the same for its twin.

"Go change behind that bush." He gestured towards a large junction of ferns which reached upwards of 2 meters. Grabbing me from under the arm, he pulled me to stand. My feet thanked him.

"We'll be waiting over there," he said, back turned and walking over to a towering oak.

I tiptoed behind the bush, trying not to get the entirety of my feet dirty before putting my sandals on. Not that it mattered, my right foot was already covered with dried blood that flaked off like pieces of Gorzo's ghost sent to follow me. I quickly realized that I needed help with the corset, despite Gorzo already having started the process of undoing it. With some hesitance and a weak voice, I called out for Hidan.

He came in a rush, so quickly in fact that it startled me backwards. "What's wrong?" he asked, grabbing me by the arm to steady me.

"I... erhm… the corset..." I mumbled, staring hard at the ferns. They wouldn't judge my tomato face.

"Fuck, is that all? You had me thinkin' one of those assholes followed us or something."

"No. Sorry. I can try to get it myself," I said, awkwardly finagling my arms behind me at an odd angle, bloodied hands blindly grabbing at the ties.

"Don't be stupid. Turn around," he commanded. With a few deft pulls of the corset ties, it loosened. That was something I thought would bring relief, but for a moment I felt like I was back there. I could smell his cigar again. The feeling of terror the first time that ribbon pulled loose. It was like I'd been transported back to that very second and I completely lost myself all over again. Eyes burning and hands shaking, I tried my best to tamp down the erratic hitch of my breath.

"T-thank you," I choked out. Not daring to say anything more. In just the two words, I could tell I sounded off.

"Erhm, sure... Hey, everything alright?" Hidan asked.

I nodded vigorously, my back still turned, praying he would just leave so I could gather myself. "Fine," I affirmed in a voice far too cheery to be real.

"Alright well, we'll be over there." He didn't sound like he believed me, but I also knew him as someone who wouldn't care so I didn't foresee it being an issue.

When I was finished putting on my clothes and shoes with no heels, I took one last look at the blue dress before chucking it behind the bushes and burying it in my mind. Wiping at my eyes with the backs of my hands and gulping down a few huge breaths, I left the privacy of the foliage.

Everyone seemed a little quieter that evening, like our spirits sank with the sun. I kept a tired pace behind Hidan and Kakuzu. The woods were oddly quiet, only the sound of our feet pressing into the earth as darkness cloaked everything in burial shrouds-eerily fitting for the mood.

My mind kept sinking back to that moment in the mansion. That man's filthy hands beneath my skirt and the petrifying fear that came with them, just wanting so badly to be saved. Konan was right, I really was weak.

"Ugh…" Breath flew from my lips as I tripped over a snaking root, falling to the ground with my palms out.

"I'm fine, Kakuzu," I mumbled at feeling a hand grasp beneath my arm as I struggled to push to my feet, but when I looked up, I was met with the reflection of the moon shining brightly off silvered hair.

Hidan smirked down at me. "You got a thing for Kakuzu or somethin'?" he teased, releasing his hold.

"No, I just didn't expect you…" I trailed off and shook my head, amending quietly, "Thanks." Brushing myself off, I looked ahead to see a light at the end of the tunnel. No, I wasn't dying. Lights from a town sparkled dimly in the distance through cracks between the trees.

"Are we staying there?" I asked with hopeful expectancy. I needed the answer to be 'yes'.

Kakuzu lifted his chin and stared through the treetops as if he needed think about it.

"Yes," Hidan said decisively. Kakuzu shot him a warning look, his green eyes glowing even more cat-like in the luminescence of the moon.

"I'm fucking tired, everyone is," Hidan groaned in response to Kakuzu's dangerous glance.

Kakuzu looked back at the giant body bag and huffed. I could see the disappointment on his face—he'd have to wait longer to collect on the bounty, but avoiding an argument with Hidan was apparently worth it.

"Fine," Kakuzu agreed as we stepped out of the woods and into town.

"These bathhouses all look the same," I noted as I stepped into the room. I meandered to the back wall and let myself slide against it until my butt hit the ground. Staring at my palms which rested on my knees, I sighed, not looking forward to removing all the glass that still burned inside them.

"Hidan," Kakuzu addressed as he dumped the giant body bag in the corner and began rummaging through his knapsack.

"What?" Hidan whined as he threw his head back and rubbed his temples.

"Help Izumi while I prepare the ointments," he ordered. Hidan looked at me in annoyance as I stared down at my bloodied palms. It seemed like I was forever the burden. He sighed and came over, plopping down cross-legged across from me.

"Hm, some of these are really deep," he said, looking somewhat surprised by the severity. I winced as he took my hand into his in order to pluck the glass out.

"Ow!" I cringed and tore it back.

"I haven't even touched it yet!" Hidan yelled as he stared at me with annoyed disbelief.

"Oh, sorry," I laughed apologetically as he grabbed my hand again, tighter this time so I couldn't pull away.

"Let's try this again," Hidan grumbled. I sucked the air in through clenched teeth and bit my eyes shut.

"Izumi, I haven't fucking touched you yet!"

I laughed a little, "I know, I know. Okay, go."

He shook his head and cursed under his breath before grabbing a shard and pulling it from my flesh. It stung, but not as bad as I expected. It was worse going in than coming out at least. The shards ticked against the ground as they hit it.

Hidan was gentler than I anticipated—his fingers nimble and precise when removing the glass with ease. I guessed he was used to stuff like that, him being an immortal masochist and all. It took me a few seconds to realize that he'd stopped, my hand still resting in his much larger one, and his other poised to remove a sizable shard. I looked up to see he was staring at my neck with a strange look on his face.

"What happened in there?" Hidan asked slowly, obviously referring to the time I spent in the mansion.

"Why, what's wrong with my neck?" I asked, rubbing my throat with my finger tips. Even without a mirror I could tell it was barely bruised by the sore sensation that arose from my prodding.

"Oh…" I mumbled in understanding. He continued staring at me intently, waiting for me to answer his question. I thought hard for a moment—my eyes concentrating on the red crystal splinters that sprawled across the wooden floor.

"Well I went in and some guy took me to a room with two other girls," I began quietly, "Gorzo looked at all of us… the other girls, they were really pretty. I couldn't believe he chose me," I paused as Hidan pulled an exceptionally large bit of glass from my hand. "When we got into his room, I looked out the window to see if you and Kakuzu were outside, but he pulled me away and closed the curtains. I-I tried getting him to take me outside... but he pushed me on the erm… on the bed…" I trailed off and glared at my hand.

"I...I don't think I want to talk about it actually," I said quietly after a moment of silence.

"The fuck do you mean you don't wanna talk about it?" Hidan questioned as he grabbed my other hand and harshly lucked out a shard.

I couldn't seem to find the words at that moment. It was like I wanted to talk about it just to get it all out, but the thought of saying what happened... to actually verbalize, out loud, the way Gorzo's body felt against me, how easily my undergarments ripped when he tore at them… The words just wouldn't come out.

"I just want to take my mind off it, Hidan," I said, exhausted and pleading. "Can I go out to the hot spring?"

"You're staying in here, Izumi," Kakuzu answered severely, his eyes seeming extra red outside his iris, "We can't let you out of our sight."

"I can't even take a bath?!" I cried out, looking at him in horror and gesturing to my filthy self-a prime candidate for bathing.

"You'll just have to wait until we get back."

I felt the tears welling in the depths of my eyes, slowly working their way up along with the lump in my throat. I wanted to wash so desperately. I needed to get his blood off of me and forget everything that happened—but how could I when he still stained me? I irrationally feared that if I let his blood soak into my skin too long, he'd somehow taint my soul and get revenge even in death.

"Can't one of you take me… you can just look the other way maybe?" I begged, pushing to my feet. I suddenly tripped backwards as something came up from beneath me.

"Sorry, Izumi," Zetsu offered quietly as the trap rose and opened to reveal his night and day face. I let out a sigh of relief to see someone that might be able to get me out of there.

"Zetsu!" I yelled, basically throwing myself at him and wrapping him up in a hug. He tensed before allowing his arms to fall awkwardly around me. I pulled back after a moment and looked at him with pleading eyes. "Zetsu, please take me back with you, I don't care if I get sick."

He looked at me with unease, I could see his eyes flickering over my face and travelling downwards as he examined my condition.

"What happened to you? Who do I need to eat?" he asked.

"Izumi," Kakuzu's stern tone sounded from behind as his arm pulled me away from Zetsu. I stumbled backwards from the sudden force and turned to look at him, bewildered.

"You're coming home with us. I still need to treat your wounds here. And Zetsu, the mission was completed successfully. We'll be turning in his body for the reward tomorrow and returning to base after that. That is all you need to report to Pain and nothing else."

"Alrighty," Zetsu said before asking in a softer tone, "But what about Izumi?"

"She's fine, leave her out of the report," Kakuzu instructed before Zetsu nodded warily and receded once again into the floorboards.

My spirits sank with his body, disappearing as he did. I didn't even try to hide my scowl as I sat against the wall and attempted plucking the remaining glass from my left hand. I thought that because my fingers were so much smaller, it would be easier for me than Hidan. I thought wrong.

I hissed quietly through my teeth as I dug my fingers into an open wound, desperately trying to take hold of the small shard that buried itself even further. I could feel Hidan's eyes on me, surely a smirk lined across his face at my miserable attempt to do as he did. I didn't let myself look up though, I just kept digging stubbornly into my flesh, only making it worse. I turned my hand to the side so the blood that pooled in the center of my palm could drain onto the floor.

"You know… if you would just fucking ask, I might help you," Hidan said, amused and sitting casually on one of the sleeping mats.

"Okay, will you help me down to the hot springs?" I pressed, knowing that's not what he meant but hey, maybe he should have been more specific.

"They're split by gender, aren't you the goody-fucking-two-shoes-rule-following type?" He retorted.

"Hidan," Kakuzu sighed. "Just bring her down if it'll shut her up. It's so late that I doubt anyone is down there anyway."

"Why don't you do it then?" Hidan whined with a pointed glare in his partner's direction.

"I'm preparing the medicine. I thought you'd be used to a job like this, shouldn't it remind you of home, Hidan?" There was nothing inherently mean about what Kakuzu said, but the tone of it made me think it was some sort of jab.

"Fuck you, Kakuzu. Come on Izumi, get your shit and hurry up," Hidan growled, heading out the door. I both hurried up and grabbed my shit with haste, as directed, skipping to catch up despite the sore state of my entire body.

We stepped out into the night, the gently simmering pool before us letting off a thick layer of steam. Crickets chirped loudly just beyond the tall wooden fence. The night air was warm, but a cool breeze floated throughout. The moon was out in full force, heaving clouds out of its way as it loomed immensely in the sky.

"What did he mean you'd be used to a job like this?" I asked as we made our way to the water's edge. Kakuzu was right, it was empty.

"Tch," Hidan scoffed, "it has to do with the village I'm from. It's a stupid story."

"I like stupid stories," I assured, dipping my toe in the water and looking at Hidan expectantly, waiting for him to turn around so I could get in.

"What are you staring at, it's creepy," he said with a scowl.

"Do you plan on watching me get in? You're one to talk about creepy…"

He grinned. "Well I was told I'm not supposed to take my eyes off you…"

Notes:

Someone asked for an update... ask and thou shalt receive. Izumi has a bad record with bathhouses, I wonder if this time will go better…? Welp, thanks for reading!

Chapter 16: Bathhouse Bad Luck... Again

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

He grinned. "Well I was told I'm not supposed to take my eyes off you…"

"Hidan," I scolded, tapping my foot impatiently.

"Fine, have it your boring ass way then…" he said, crossing his arms and turning around like it was such a big ask.

I let the towel drop and quickly entered the water, not trusting Hidan to stay turned around for very long. Though once I was in, I felt sufficiently covered. Between the hot water and the cool night air, the fog was thick that night. The water's surface spattered and broiled and I welcomed the burning sensation. Even if it burned off my skin, at least it would mean I would be rid of every bit of Gorzo.

"So," I began as I started gently splashing water on myself and rubbing the dried blood from my neck. "You were going to tell me about your village."

"Was I?" He retorted, still facing the wall shockingly.

"Mhmm." I waited patiently.

"Alright, fine." He sighed and took a deep breath as if he only wanted to use one to tell the whole story. "Long story real fucking short, my village had a shitload of hot springs. I grew up and trained there to be a shinobi where they basically beat the living shit out of us to make sure we held up in battle. I'm not bitching though, it was fine because I got to fight in the war which was great, I had the time of my fucking life," he ended with a chuckle like he was recalling the good ol' days.

So far it all checked out. "So where do the hot springs fit it?" I asked as I scrubbed and rinsed away the grime and makeup from my face.

"Well it turns out when the war was over, the village elders decided they didn't really need shinobi anymore. The hot springs were popular enough so they wanted to lean into that. Can you fucking imagine? They had the audacity to tell us our new duties would be escorting tourists around the springs. They fucking rasied us like feral wolves and then the minute we didn't make them money, told us to sit and stay like a goddamn house pet. Tch, like I could do that..."

"Oh…" I wasn't really sure what to say. The more he spoke, the angrier he seemed to become. I thought of what Konan had said to me about all the men in the Akatsuki being broken. I didn't doubt it was true, but I was starting to see more than just a glimpse of it and I was beginning to understand why Hidan was the way he was. I felt genuinely bad for him in that moment as I realized he was just a product of the war machine that washed over the various countries in ebbs and flows, only to be tossed aside when he wasn't needed anymore. I figured that's what would happen to me too.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up… that sounds really awful," I added.

"It's fine. I get to do whatever I want now." He said with a shrug, still staring at the fence. I wondered if he truly believed that or if it was just how he'd coped all those years. Maybe both.

"Hey Hidan," I wanted to change the subject. "Um, what was with the blood thing earlier? Isn't that really unsanitary?" This immediately elicited a laugh from him.

"Probably," he agreed.

"And wouldn't it have been less risky to just lick the blood directly off Gorzo than me?" I asked in a somewhat accusatory manner.

He glanced over his shoulder at me with a wry grin. I sank down a little but continued to meet his gaze with a glare.

"What, you didn't like it?" He teased.

"I didn't even know what was happening," I pointed out.

"Well I'm not gonna apologize if that's what you're expecting. If you give me the option of licking you or that fucking dude," he made a face, "well, I'm gonna pick you any fucking day of the week, sweetheart."

I stifled a laugh in favor of shooting him a disapproving look and splashing some water in his direction.

He raised an eyebrow at me, turning around fully and taking a step towards the spring, "You think I won't come in there?"

I shrunk down so my nostrils barely hovered over the bubbling water's surface and shook my head vigorously to signal that I was backing down. I fully believed that he would, in fact, come in here.

"No, you don't think I will?" He cocked his head and advanced another step with folded arms. A couple more steps and he would in the spring.

I quickly lifted my head just slightly so I could speak, "No, I meant 'no' like you don't need to come in here!" I blurted out in one breath before sinking down once more.

His smile grew wider. "I don't know. This feels like a challenge, and I have a real hard time backing down from a challenge..." Oh, he was loving this. A couple more slow, purposeful steps. His eyes didn't break from mine as one foot splashed into the steaming water, then the other.

"You wanna try splashing me again?" He dared, looking smug as ever. In the lighting of the moon it was difficult not to take notice of Hidan's half naked body. The shadows moved across him slowly and defined his musculature as he sauntered forward with his usual Hidan swagger, which I typically found irritating, but I had to admit, not so much in that moment. If I had to put one word to him, it would be impressive.

I shook my head innocently and thought hard about how reckless I wanted to be before discreetly taking in a mouthful of the spring water below the surface. I held it there in my cheeks, looking up at Hidan and contemplating how much trouble it'd get me in if I were to spit it at him.

It was like he could tell I was up to something, his smirk unchanging, eyes daring me, and index finger tapping against his bulging bicep. The fact that he'd already stepped into the shallow area and gotten his shoes and the pant bottoms wet without a second thought led me to believe he'd have no problem trouncing in completely. He was the reckless type. I knew if I was actually going to get him with the water, him being a shinobi and all, I'd have to be sneaky about it. He was expecting me to splash him so I moved my arms to hold myself by the shoulders, which served two purposes really. I felt less exposed of course, but also I couldn't possibly splash him without using my hands so it'd look like I was conceding… right?

"Smart choice…" he said with a sigh and perhaps even a hint of disappointment.

Now.

I quickly angled my head up, cheeks bulging like a puffer fish, before spewing a magnificent torrent of water at Hidan. I was quite impressed with my range as I actually managed to hit all the way up to his face. As the spray dwindled out I immediately retreated, scuttling backwards against the opposite edge where the water was so deep that I didn't even reach the bottom on my tippy toes. I treaded water as best as I could and watched Hidan with a smug grin of my own.

His tongue poked at the side of his cheek as he slowly nodded, eyes downcast and processing the situation. His hand ran down his face in a singular wiping motion before flicking the water aggressively off his fingertips.

"You forget, Izumi," he paused, his eyes locking on me and narrowing dangerously, though he couldn't seem to drop the smirk, "I come from the land of fucking hot springs. You might say this is my favored terrain, a.k.a, a very stupid place to challenge me." He tutted as he slowly began to stride further into the spring.

Beans.

"Would an apology help?" I asked, still awkwardly treading water.

"How sincere would it be?" He inquired back, head cocked and quickly approaching.

"Not very," I admitted with a small smile.

He shook his head, "Un-fucking-believable." Without warning he clapped his hands together to make a paddle before swinging them down into the water and carving through it with force. I yelped as the massive spray of water pelted my face and jostled me about in the water which had become a miniature wave pool from that one motion. He was right, I never stood a chance.

I looked like a drowned rat gasping for breath as the water settled. My dark hair clung to my face and covered my eyes. Arms still holding myself by the shoulders, I was growing tired of treading water and now I couldn't even see. I could tell Hidan was within close proximity from the uncontrollable snickering erupting from right in front of me.

"You done?" Hidan asked as he began to push the hair out of my eyes. I finally opened them to see him standing before me, not even treading water, looking down at me with a very amused expression.

Screw these tall people.

He tucked the wet strands sloppily behind my ears, causing me to wince as he fingers grazed across the rather tender burn wound on my left temple. Even I had clipped it when I was trying to clean myself earlier. He paused when he noticed me flinch, taking a moment to move the hair a little more gently, a slightly discerning look coming over him.

"I'm tired, is that the same as being done?" I finally answered, I was beginning to become short of breath from all the treading.

"Too tired to spit more water at me?" He asked with some skepticism.

I couldn't help but smile sheepishly. "Maybe… that was pretty impressive though, right?"

"Impressive will be when you can get past me." He grinned, stepping even closer and blocking me from any escape route. "How long you think you can keep that up?" He asked, clearly in reference to my ever increasing panting. "It's an interesting technique, not using your arms like that. Not sure it's working out in your favor though." He pretended to analyze thoughtfully.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, continuing to hold tight onto myself.

"You know I can't see shit through this steam, right?" He said with a sigh.

"That's exactly what a pervert would say," I noted between breaths.

"Well that's fucking rich coming from the girl that came bursting into my room when I could have been doing anything ," Hidan gave me a look and waited patiently for my retort with a raised brow.

"That was an accident," I admonished.

"That's exactly what a pervert would say," Hidan said in a mocking voice, his head cocked and smirk growing.

I had to give Hidan credit, he was more clever than I thought. I looked up at him with a defeated smile, huffing as my legs burned from trying to keep myself afloat.

"For Jashin's sake," Hidan rolled his eyes and clasped his hands against my upper arms to hold me in place. I tensed at first, grateful my face was already red from the water's heat and suddenly very aware of his close proximity to my naked body.

"What's wrong, don't think I'm pretty anymore?" He joked, clearly taking notice of me freezing up. If I could have blushed any harder, I would have. I had completely forgotten I said that to him in the middle of my haze after nearly plummeting to my death earlier that day.

"I feel like I should get a free pass on that, I wasn't exactly in my right mind when I said it," I retorted sheepishly.

"That's not a 'no'." He said. God, he was cocky. Even more frustrating was that he wasn't wrong. I watched his expression shift with some confusion. He had a broad grin only a moment before but it quickly dissolved into that of a hound that caught a scent. His attention was suddenly elsewhere.

"Hey Izumi… weren't you in a hot spring that time the weirdo took your hair or some shit?" Hidan asked, continuing to look past me.

"Um, yeah… why?"

He sighed with annoyance. "Okay, new rule, no more fucking hot springs," He muttered with a growl. I stared at him, baffled. "We've got company," Hidan explained, his eyes narrowing at something in the distance behind me. I turned to look but he held me in place. I had to crane my neck in order to see the familiar figure of the same man I had encountered before. He sat perched atop the tall wooden fence.

"Izumi, I must admit, this isn't how I expected to find you. I'm not interrupting something, am I?" The man's playful voice called out. I wanted Hidan to just let go of me so I could sink down and end myself right then and there.

"I could be doing literally nothing and you would be interrupting," I called back angrily from over my shoulder. I struggled in Hidan's grip to turn around, he reluctantly let go, still standing behind me as I spun around and gripped the edge of the stone ground. Hidan's hands appeared next to mine, boxing me in from behind which made me feel oddly safe. Peering up at the mystery guy, I could see he was wearing the same clothes as the other times I'd encountered him.

"What do you want now?" I asked with venom.

He seemed hurt by this. "Well I only wanted to check on you, Izumi. Strangely enough, I was investigating what happened at one of my master's client's place of work today. You see, my master had been contracted to place a warding jutsu on a mansion to keep powerful ninja out since the property owner, Gorzo, had ended up in a bingo book. I was quite surprised to come across your blood there during my investigation..."

"Oro… Orochimaru set up that ward?" I asked in disbelief before honing in on the more important fact. "M-my blood?"

"Well yes, I have fairly keen senses and I recognized it as yours immediately," He stated matter-of-factly as he produced from within his pocket, a small piece of white fabric with a blood stain on it. He had collected it… I zoned out for a moment thinking about what that meant for me.

The man continued on, seemingly oblivious to the bomb he just dropped on me. "And knowing full well what type of operation Gorzo runs, Orochimaru-sama doesn't appreciate the precarious position the Akatsuki put you in." His eyes narrowed at Hidan who scoffed. "I found a piece of your clothing, Izumi… an undergarment." He paused for a moment and my heart sank into my stomach at the mention of it.

"Well as you can see, I'm fine," I called out with a noticeable tremor to my voice.

"Izumi… It looked like it was torn off-"

"I said I'm fine !" I cried out, cutting him off and wishing I were anywhere else and clothed . I flinched when I suddenly felt Hidan's breath on my ear.

"I need to take care of this fuckboy but I can't leave you in here alone while he's right there." His tone was low and steady.

"What are you saying?" I whispered back.

"I'm saying you're not gonna like what I'm about to do but you're not allowed to be pissed about it, alright?" He didn't give me time to answer. I suddenly felt Hidan's hands grab my waist from behind, hastily jerking me around to face him once more. My eyes bulged, mind racing with all the things that could happen in the next 10 seconds and they were all horrifying, mostly due to my exposed state. I swallowed hard, unable to even respond, but I'm sure my trepidation was written all over my face.

Hidan regarded me for a quick moment before adding, "Trust me, this is gonna be harder for me than it is for you…" In an instant his hands released me, his right shooting to grab the scythe on his back and the other snaking around my back and hugging me tight against him.

Oh… my… GOD.

" Hold onto me," Hidan ordered before leaping up out of the water with speed and force. I clenched my eyes shut as if that would make it so I couldn't be seen, my arms instinctually looping up and around Hidan's neck, clinging to him for dear life despite wanting to just die.

Notes:

O_o Izumi's bathhouse bad luck continues. Thanks for reading :)

Chapter 17: Healing

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

We landed back on the stonework surrounding the pools. My feet didn't even touch right away from being clutched so tightly against Hidan. I just dangled there for a brief moment before he loosened his grip, just enough to allow my body to slide down until my toes touched ground.

"Ehhm…" A tiny, whimpering noise that I didn't even recognize from my own lips escaped me. I was mortified to find my body shuddering against Hidan as my bare skin met with his, my nipples tightening at the unexpected friction of rubbing against his torso.

My breath hitched, catching like a knot in my throat as I tried to process what my body was doing. It seemed to be entirely out of my control. There was a weird flush of heat rolling through me and flipping in my stomach that I desperately attempted to ignore, all I could do was pray that Hidan didn't notice.

Could he feel my nipples against him? Oh God. Oh lord. I couldn't bring myself to look up at him and check, I gave into my freeze and hide instinct, burying my face into his chest and wrapping my arms tightly around his midsection so there would be no more unapproved rubbing.

I could feel Hidan clear his throat, his chest rumbling. "So who the fuck are you?" he questioned with an audible sneer.

"Well, I was hoping Izumi might remember by now. Your group is trying to break the seal, are they not?" the man answered from his perch on the fence.

"Pretty fucking bold of you to say you're here to check up on her while also threatening to torture her. What's the fucking deal, what do you get out of this?" Hidan seemed irritated. The hand that rested on my back pulled me against him with a good amount of force. He didn't seem to notice he was doing it. I certainly did.

"I've actually come with an invitation! Perhaps I could speak with her alone for a moment?"

"Are you fuckin' stupid or something?" Hidan shouted incredulously.

"At the very least you could let her cover up… I'm not here to put her in yet another uncomfortable situation today," he advised with some admonishment.

Hidan growled under his breath.

"I promise, I won't move," the man assured, a chipper smile in his voice.

"Izumi," Hidan addressed me sternly. "There's a towel on the ground behind you. Put it on and get behind me."

I shook my head against him, not able to move my body. If I pulled away to comply, I'd be entirely exposed, and that wasn't something I could even process. I knew logically I couldn't just stand there hugging Hidan for the rest of my life, but I also knew I wasn't ready for the alternative yet.

"Fucking look away, will ya!?" Hidan shouted at the guy before returning his attention to me. "Alright, no one's looking, now hurry the fuck up."

When I didn't move right away, his hands shifted to my shoulders and peeled me off him. Opening my eyes with a pained expression, Hidan was right in front of me leaning down to eye level, only inches from my face. "I'm only looking at your stupid fucking face, okay? Now get your towel, get behind me, and let me handle the rest." His words were pointed and precise. I swallowed and nodded. He nodded back, "Okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. I moved quickly, taking a step to the towel and snatching it against my body, pulling it around myself with a huge sigh of relief before scrambling to get behind Hidan.

"Can I look now?" the man asked, still balanced on the fence. His hands were over his eyes and he peeked between two fingers before pulling them away completely. "Excellent." His smile grew broader. "Now, I just need a word with Izumi then."

"Tch," Hidan spat, his body moving into an offensive stance. "So you are fuckin' stupid," he called out before launching at him.

It was nothing my eyes could follow. The two were still one moment and then suddenly there was a cacophony of clanging metal on metal. The man had leapt from the fence and onto the water like it was as good as ground and the two continued to clash. I slowly backed away as they did so, Hidan's wild howling filling the night air.

"Is this guy really your type, Izumi?" the mystery man inquired in a shout as he dodged Hidan's attack effortlessly and made a move towards me.

"Oh fuck off!" Hidan bellowed, flailing his scythe around and running to cut him off. "Izumi, get back!"

Just before the guy reached me, he jumped back to avoid being carved in two, the metal scraping loudly against the stone just feet from where I stood. I stumbled backwards and lost my footing among the craggy, wet surface, but to my surprise, I never hit the ground.

The feel of plush fabric against the naked skin of my shoulders made my eyes shoot wide. When I looked up I was met with a pair of inexplicably green eyes, happy glinting. A strange feeling of uneasy familiarity churned in the back of my mind. Between those eyes and the trickling ambience of the hot springs, the familiarity grew until it was a crushing force in my head.

I let out a sharp gasp as the pain intensified, my eyes clasping shut. All I could hear was that freaking baby again, but as the cries began to fade I was left with nothing but a name on my tongue. I snapped my eyes open again and stared up at the man with intensely knitted brows.

"A-Aki…?" I questioned quietly, so far beyond confused. The name was familiar but I didn't know how or why I knew it. The man's eyes lost their playfulness, surprise overtaking them for a very brief moment.

"Do you remember me?" he asked, a certain hopeful excitement to his voice. I continued to just stare at him, wracking my brain for how I knew him, as it had become very evident that I did at one point.

"Hey, the fuck are you doing?!" Hidan's irate voice tore through whatever mental gymnastics I was doing. He looked frustrated, hand on his scythe, itching to swing it but knowing he couldn't without hurting me. He wouldn't resign himself to just waiting around for long though, that much I knew.

"Come with me," Aki urged quietly, his fingers digging into my shoulder. I shook my head. It was out of the question absurd, and a look of sadness mingled with disappointment washed over him as he took in the situation.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as his face moved closer to mine. Hidan's cursing faded into a low drone as I hyper focused on this man, Aki, moving uncomfortably close to me. Clutching the towel around me even more tightly than before, I felt the heat rise from his breath against my ear as he whispered, "We wouldn't have to hurt you if you'd just come with me."

And like that it was over.

He shoved me away from him, propelling me into Hidan who finally saw his opportunity to rage, his eyes appearing more red than purple as a fire burned behind them. I yelped as I hit hard against him, his left arm instantly securing me in place in one fluid motion as he continued to give chase. My body was crushed to his chest, feet not even touching the ground. Hidan charged forward with me pinned there like a helpless passenger. He lashed out in vain, Aki quickly disappearing beyond the tall wooden fence that enclosed the springs.

"Fuck!" Hidan yelled as he unintentionally squeezed me even harder out of anger. I wheezed harshly against him, wincing my eyes shut as the pressure built against my ribs.

"Hidan," I squeaked out with a gasp. He glanced down looking almost startled and released his grip which left me stumbling backwards.

"We should go inside," I blustered frantically, mind reeling from the encounter.

"Go inside? Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere but after him. You stay put," he ordered as he released me from his hold and before I could even protest, he was over the fence as well.

"Okay," I muttered meekly to no one, hugging myself by the shoulders and sinking to the ground in a crouch. I tried to focus on counting cobblestones as I waited, wondering if I should be retreating back into the bathhouse or if that would only get me in trouble with Hidan. What did "stay put" mean to him exactly?

"You're not supposed to be alone, Izumi," Zetsu's calm voice startled me into toppling over on my ass.

"God Zetsu, you always manage to scare me, don't you?" I huffed, relieved it was just him. He looked at me apologetically.

"You'll die if you keep wandering around by yourself, you need to be more careful." Only his head was visible, the rest of his body hibernated underground as he spoke.

I sighed, "I know, I know... What are you doing here anyway?"

"Just checking in. I saw Hidan running through the woods alone and grew concerned. Is everything okay?" His face was always so innocent.

"I don't know," I said with a weak smile and a shrug.

"There's still a little blood on your face," he remarked, his hand moving to touch the wound on my temple. I winced as he wiped at it with a cloth.

"Is it gone?" I asked, blinking expectantly at him.

He smiled for a hot second before it dropped abruptly. "Gotta go." And before I could even tell him he was rude he sank into the earth.

"Okay bye," I mumbled sarcastically after having been suddenly ditched twice within five minutes.

"He's not the smartest, huh? I feel like you could do much better Izumi," Aki's voice cut through my train of thought. I whipped my head around to see him perched atop the fence with the small bit of red-stained cloth in his hand. I realized he was talking about Hidan who clearly was unsuccessful in tracking him down.

"He's not… we're not together. It doesn't even matter, you know he'll be here any second when he realizes you doubled back," I warned as I straightened up, continuing to hold the towel tightly against me. Maybe I was giving Hidan too much credit, but I hoped I was right.

"I only wanted a chance to chat, just the two of us," he smiled but it quickly faded. "I really want you to come with me. Lord Orochimaru and I will take care of you." His eyes were pleading.

"I can't do that. I only just remembered your name. I don't even know you, and all you've done is hurt me " I said defensively.

He sighed with frustration. "Izumi, it's only because we had to. Just to give you incentive, but I promise we can take care of you much better than the Akatsuki. You'd never be put in situations like today again." He was convincing. Whether it was true or not was another thing, but I believed that he believed it.

"I have to go. I am sorry, Izumi," he said apologetically before retreating in a flash. The very next moment, Hidan came leaping over a different point of the fence.

"For fuck's sake, Izumi. You stood out here waiting? Why the hell wouldn't you go back inside to Kakuzu?" he berated me, clearly taking out his frustration on the only person in front of him. I inwardly scolded myself for not following my initial instinct.

"Sorry…" I offered weakly, distracted by all the thoughts running through my head. Orochimaru had my blood now, so he could cast that justu on me again. I wondered where I'd be when it happened, and more importantly, who I'd be with. I made a mental note to tell Itachi when I got back to base.

"It's fine, let's go. I couldn't fucking find him…" Hidan admitted with annoyance.

"Thanks for trying," I said as I made my way into the women's bath house. "What are you doing?" I asked as Hidan started to follow.

"Oh yeah, like I'm gonna fucking leave you alone after all that." He rolled his eyes.

I scowled at him, wishing I could have a second to change in private. I was already beyond embarrassed by my stupid nipple incident earlier that I wasn't even sure he was aware of.

"And don't forget all your wounds need to be treated," he added and hesitated for a second. "Hey." He was suddenly very serious grabbing my wrist and tugging me to look at him. "What that guy said earlier… What happened in the mansion?"

This was the second time he'd asked and I wasn't feeling any more ready to talk about it. I let out a heavy sigh of frustration which immediately made him frustrated as well.

"Please Hidan, I don't have it in me right now…" I pleaded.

"I just, I don't know, I saw some bruises," he gestured to my hips and I blushed 1000 shades of red.

"Hidan! That means you looked!"

"I didn't fucking mean to, it just happened!" he bellowed back, like that was supposed to make me feel better. "That's beside the point, I don't see why you can't just fuckin' tell me. It's not a big deal."

"It's a big deal to me! I just want to take my mind off it, Hidan!" Our shouting match had escalated to the point that we were both just standing there staring each other down with jaws clenched and fists balled at our sides. Of course it was a little skewed as the top of my head didn't even meet his chin.

"Since when do you care anyway?!" I pressed.

"I don't fucking know! I'll fucking care if I feel like it!" Both his chest and nostrils were flaring as he loomed over me.

"Well… good then!?" I shouted in confusion.

"I fucking guess!" he yelled back with a very aggressive shrug.

"Alright well… I'll meet you up in the room!" I eventually shouted after a moment of silence, not even sure why I was shouting anymore, and tucked into a changing stall, grabbing wildly at a robe.

"Fine by me!" he boomed back, his stomping footfalls echoing as he left.

Upon entering the bedroom I noticed that Kakuzu was passed out with earplugs in, softly snoring. He had shockingly slept through all the commotion outside and downstairs. And they said I'd make a lousy ninja... Nevertheless, he'd prepared the medicines and left them out with some brief instructions. There were two sets of herbal mixtures, one for open wounds and one for bruising, both were topical.

Hidan was sitting on his bed roll, eyes following me like a hawk. I tried my best to ignore the feeling of his gaze burning a hole into my back, grabbing up the medicinal mixtures and moving to sit against the wall. Trying with what little energy I had left, I fished around in my wounds for a few stray pieces of glass that I found had not come loose in the spring. As I had displayed earlier, I was not very good at it.

"Alright stop, I can't fucking stand watching this," Hidan griped, sauntering over and plopping on the bamboo floor in front of me. "Give me your damn hand," he ordered impatiently with his hand out. I glanced at him hesitantly before placing my hand in his, palm up, and he began scouring it for any missed pieces of glass before applying a salve.

Notes:

Some steamy Hidan... Thanks for reading!

Chapter 18: Steamy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"You always this big of a pain in the ass?" Hidan muttered.

"It's just for you I suppose." I glared daggers into him.

"Oh man, Just for me ? should I be flattered?" he grinned, still applying the salve and doing so in a surprisingly gentle fashion.

"I think you probably flatter yourself enough for the two of us." I rolled my eyes.

"Tch…" he laughed under his breath as he set the salve down and pulled out a swath of bandage. I looked on as he expertly wrapped it around my palm and between my fingers. My wrist looked appallingly tiny in his grip as he did so, pulling it close to his face to tear an edge to the bandage with his teeth. I felt so caught off guard, almost mesmerized by the way his fingers worked so deftly to render aid. It seemed so unlike him to even have this level of gentleness with anything… I almost enjoyed it.

With my wrist still held firmly in place and the edge of the bandage clenched between his teeth, he glanced up to notice my expression. He smiled devilishly and spoke without dropping the gauze from his bite, "see something you like?" he asked, jerking his head to rip the bandage.

Um, okay… apparently that's something you find attractive.

I managed to stammer out a less-than-convincing, "N-no!" My eyes snapped away from him and stared intensely at the underwhelming floor. I prayed I wasn't as flushed as I felt.

"Alright, alright," he said with a chuckle, securing the wrappings and motioning for my other hand. I begrudgingly offered it up to him. When I dared to look in his direction, I was annoyed to see him looking overly pleased as he began working. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but I couldn't help but watch.

"You done talking to a scoundrel like me or something?" he asked, glancing up from my hand.

"Something like that," I replied coolly, looking away once more. He smirked at this, regarding me with his head cocked to one side like he was trying to read me. Like he was succeeding in reading me. He'd finished applying the salve and pulled out the gauze wrap once more.

Oh, your favorite part!

I couldn't tell if it was in my head or not, but it almost seemed like he was wrapping this one a little more slowly, more purposefully. There were times that I felt his gaze focus in on me as he continued to dress the wound with delicate precision without even looking. Despite him taking his time, it didn't take long for my wounds to be fully wrapped before he pulled my wrist closer to his face once more, his teeth biting down on the bandage's edge.

My brain told me to continue looking away but my eyes betrayed it, flitting over and fixating on my hand in his. I was immediately met with Hidan's intensely violet gaze. He lingered there for a moment like he was making sure I was watching. I found myself unable, or perhaps unwilling, to tear my eyes away.

What is he doing?

I could see the growing smirk in the corner of his eyes alone and my heart began pounding almost audibly in my chest. He did not look away, he only brought my hand even closer to him and I waited with bated breath for him to tear the bandage once more between his teeth. But there was no flick of his head, his gaze only lowered and his lips pressed lightly against my bandaged palm. I stared in shock, a warmth spread through my body in an instant. As I tried to speak, the breath hitched in my throat and I found myself incapable of forming words, my mouth held agape just staring at Hidan with his lips planted squarely on the base of my palm. I was suddenly hyper aware of how small and fragile my wrist was in the strong fingers that curled around it. His lips upturned and stretched into a wry grin against me as he glanced up, still not breaking the kiss. In a quick motion he finally jerked his head, tearing the bandage and finishing the process.

It took me a moment to recover from my speechlessness.

"What the hell was that?" I hissed, careful to not wake Kakuzu.

"What? You seemed to enjoy it well enough," he said with a smug grin plastered on his face.

"I was… I was caught off guard!" I whispered defensively.

"Oh ho ho… I could fucking tell," he laughed, nodding his head. "Oh and just so you know, your face matches the clouds on my cloak perfectly right now. You'd make for a good accessory y'know, how long you think you can keep it like that?"

"Oh my god Hidan, stop," I buried my face in my freshly bandaged palms.

"Hey, I dunno if you thought we were done but uh, we're not," he said, peeling my hands from my face and putting them down at my sides before grabbing up a bamboo and glass container filled with a yellow-tinted oil.

"What?" I whined, defeated.

"It's for the bruising. I promise I'll behave myself, alright?" he offered, his grin showing no signs of quitting.

"You're a jerk," I muttered.

He snorted. "Yeah I'm the jerk taking care of your busted ass. Look at you growing a damn backbone though. You're really testing your luck today, aren't you?"

"It's not like you can kill me, Pain said so," I shrugged. "That means you can't even hurt me."

"How do you figure?" he asked with humor lacing his words. He pushed the hair away from my neck, his fingers trailing across my collar bones and shoulders. I pretended it didn't affect me.

"Well if Jashin forbids you from not finishing the job with anyone you harm, and you're not allowed to kill me, then you can't even harm me," I noted with some confidence.

"So you actually listened to me about Jashin." He seemed impressed. "Clever, but not clever enough. You forgot one thing, sweetheart…"

I glowered at him. "What?"

His fingers dipped into the jar of oil before dragging across my throat in a gentle rubbing motion. It felt… nice. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my cool with varying degrees of success. He gathered more of the viscous liquid and spread it around slowly, coating the entirety of my neck. I found myself inadvertently pushing my chin forward and tilting my head back to give him better access. His hand eventually came to rest against my throat, and while he wasn't putting pressure on it, his fingers were firmly in place around it. His face inched closer to mine and our eyes met.

"You forget that I'm not so good at doin' what I'm told…" His voice dropped into a low, gravelly octave as he tapped his index finger against my skin ever so lightly and I found the breath trapped in my throat once more. I wish I could blame it on him cutting off my airway in some violent Hidan-esque display, but he was being so unusually gentle. I couldn't seem to find my voice and the heat that had overwhelmed me when he planted that kiss just moments before seemed to gather in my core with an intensity. My eyes were probably frantic as I tried to understand my body's reaction. There was something about the feeling of his hand around my neck that sent my stomach to flip deep in my gut.

W-why do I like this?

My face felt like it was overheating and my eyelids felt so so heavy, I couldn't manage to open them more than halfway. A heavy breath parted my lips and escaped me.

What is happening to me?

Hidan came, leaning in to whisper in my ear, "I promised I'd behave, but... I can't tell if you really want me to."

I may not have been able to find my voice but I could move my arms. Without even thinking, my palm struck the side of his face. I winced with a sharp inhale as I pulled it back and held my hand against my chest. I looked up fearfully, expecting to be met with an irate Hidan. I was prepared to yell for Kakuzu, but much to my surprise, Hidan still had that stupid grin on his face.

"Well that's one way to answer…" He rubbed his cheek, as if I did any damage.

"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking, my body just moved on its own." I began rambling excuses. He cut me off.

"Yeah, it seems to be doing a lot of that, huh?" he noted with a raised eyebrow. "It's called instincts though, kinda nice to see you actually fucking have some. If I were a regular guy that might have hurt," Hidan mused, capping the jar of oil and blowing out the lantern flame before moving to sit beside me against the wall.

"So-" His head flopped on his neck to look down at me. "How'd I do?"

I looked at him completely exasperated and asked with a heavy sigh, "How'd you do with what?"

"With taking your mind off it?"

I couldn't do anything but stare at him for a moment of disbelief. Was that all just Hidan's backward way of trying to make me feel better? Was he trying to make himself the bad guy so I didn't have to think about the other one?

"Hidan…" I started, not really sure what to say before landing on a quiet, "thank you."

"Just don't get used to it," he teased.

"Oh, I would never," I agreed to his terms with a voracious yawn. My head slowly nodded to the side, slumping against Hidan's shoulder, but I was too tired to care. I let my cheek rest against the warmth of his skin and sleep came for me quickly. It had been a long day.

"Oi. Do I look like a fuckin' bed to you?" Hidan whispered, jostling his arm slightly but not enough to dislodge me.

"Mhmm…" I grumbled, mostly asleep.

"For fuck's sake…" He muttered under his breath, crossing his arms and slouching against the wall in preparation for a night of sitting rest. Despite the position, I slept well, better than I had in a long time actually. Deeply and soundly. The comfort of the warmth against me seemed to stave off any nightmares that threatened to invade my dream state.

"Well aren't you two adorable," Kakuzu's sarcastic voice stirred me from my slumber far sooner than I wanted it too.

I blinked my eyes open groggily and looked up to see him towering over me with his arms crossed. I attempted to get up but found myself held in place by a heavy weight on my head. It took me a moment to recall I had fallen asleep in my position against the wall, my head on Hidan's bare shoulder and his head on top of mine. His mouth was slightly ajar, a soft wheeze sighing from it with every breath, causing the few stray hairs atop my head to blow wistfully in his breeze.

"Oh!" I blurted with realization as I scooted away from him and hastily jumped to my feet. Hidan came crashing down onto the bamboo floor with a loud thud.

"What the fuck…" He grumbled, wiping his cheek of the drool shining on it. I grimaced and quickly combed through the hair on my scalp, checking for any rogue spit stains. I was in the clear. He finally opened his eyes fully and stared up at me and Kakuzu.

"Nice fucking wake up call," he said sarcastically. "I take it we're leaving now?"

"Hn," Kakuzu grunted in affirmation.

Everyone was quiet in lieu of the early morning drowsiness we all seemed to share. Even the sun struggled against the hazy sky, trying desperately to pull itself up over the horizon. There wasn't much to pack so we were out the door soon after we awoke.

The dirt was flat against the streets, no feet kicking it up into busy clouds of dust. A few people moved about here and there, but for the most part the town was sleeping still. Shops had just begun to open as we walked between them on our way towards the edge of town.

I looked to my left, the smell of food catching my attention. I hadn't even thought about eating with everything that had happened, but now that it was a new day, my stomach growled angrily at the thought. I noticed Hidan watching me from my periphery.

"You hungry?" he asked, nodding towards the ramen shop. I looked from Hidan, to the ramen shop, to my stomach, and back to Hidan before nodding slightly.

"Good, cause I'm fucking starving," he said as he detoured into the shop, me and Kakuzu filing in behind him. We were the only ones there besides an old man who sat at the end of the counter slurping down noodles. We all put in our orders and waited in morning silence until our food came out.

"Izumi," Kakuzu addressed me, breaking the silence. I looked at him in response.

"We'll need to buy you a new cloak, something that covers your neck before we get back." I continued to stare at him blankly, though this time with some confusion.

"We don't really need Pain finding out about everything that happened at the mansion, unless you don't want the chance to go on jobs anymore." He gave me a stern look before elaborating. "If Pain discovers the extent of your injuries from this assignment, he'll probably contain you within the base for the remainder of your time with us."

My eye twitched at the thought of being condemned to the indoors for any extended period of time.

"Well in that case…" I trailed off as the chef set a loaded bowl of ramen in front of me, the steam wafting upwards and wrapping around my sniffing nostrils.

None of us spoke while we ate, far too consumed with our meals to even think about small talk.

Kakuzu regretfully laid money on the counter before we exited the shop through the wood-beaded door and made our way into the same clothing shop from before. My nerves kicked at my stomach from just being inside it. I tried to keep my cool as I pawed through racks of clothes. My intention was to flip past anything that wasn't a black cloak, but I inadvertently stopped on one garment in particular that caught my eye.

It was a summery white dress stitched together with baby blue thread at the seams. It was just different from all the other dresses—more beautiful somehow. It shimmered even in the gloom of the old dusty shop as I kneaded the soft cotton between my fingers.

"You want that?" Hidan's sudden appearance from behind startled me. I jumped and dropped the dress from my hands, spinning on my heel to face him. My fingers instinctively began fiddling with the hem of my shirt as I stared up at him, feeling awkward about the previous night.

"N-no, not really, I was just looking," I said quietly, averting my eyes to stare at the ground.

He looked at me skeptically with his eyebrows coming together and his lips forming a line crooked with uncertainty.

"The fuck's the matter with you today?" He asked suddenly with irritation. My face dropped whatever timid expression it held and quickly replaced it with something more assertive.

"Nothing, can't you find something better to do than interrogate me?" I snapped, crossing my arms and cocking my head at him.

Hidan smirked, leaning in close. "That's more like it," he murmured, turning from me to join up with his partner who was at the register. I couldn't help but smile a little. Well played Hidan, well played.

"Here," Kakuzu said as he approached me, thrusting a paper shopping bag into my arms. "Treat this one well and stop getting hurt. You're becoming expensive."

I followed him out while rummaging through it to find two articles of clothing; a floor-length black cloak with a high collar and a short-sleeved navy blue turtleneck. I groaned before pulling the cloak out and snaking my way into it, knowing Kakuzu would make me put it on anyway. Its collar came up high— similar to Itachi's— in order to cover the bruises on my neck. They had dissipated slightly but were far from vanishing altogether.

"So now what?" I asked as we exited under the elaborate archway through which we arrived.

"We're going to turn in the body for it's bounty, then we'll perform a memory seal-breaking ritual on you... then we'll go home," Kakuzu said as he looked ahead into the laughing horizon that had finally claimed its victory over the land.

Home.

I nodded and examined my palms as we continued on our trek, they had healed considerably over night from the salve but were still plainly visible. I stuffed them in my pockets before resuming my submissive walk behind Kakuzu and Hidan.

Notes:

MMM STEAMY HIDAN... Thanks for reading as always!

Chapter 19: Innuendos

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The path we took went from lush forest to dusty cracked ground as we drew closer to the drop off point after a few hours of mindless marching. I put my hand to my forehead and squinted my eyes to see a lone building shimmering through the heat in the distance.

"Jashin, It's fuckin hot out," Hidan groaned, dragging the back of his hand across his forehead. A lone bird floated overhead, gracefully gliding downwards in a mesmerizing spiral—it was a vulture, tragically befitting for our haunting destination. The sand blew from behind at my exposed ankles like it was pushing me towards the ominous building.

I paused at the steps, taking a moment to tip my head back and look at it. It was stark and undecorated, clearly not built for aesthetics. Kakuzu opened the door and glanced back at me with a look that made me rush up the stairs to catch up. I hesitated once more as I stood like a child in the entryway, wide open and ready to consume me the minute I stepped through the hellish gate. I wanted to wait outside but Hidan put his hands on my shoulders from behind as he walked forward, pushing me ahead with him.

"I don't like it either," he confessed, shutting the door behind us and proceeding into another room that was dimly illuminated by three luminescent lights, the last of which flickered like the wings of a dying fly, buzzing like one too.

The door fell shut with a bang behind us, making me jump. Hidan snickered under his breath before taking a seat on the battered wooden bench pushed against the wall. I sat beside him, not wanting to see the body. Kakuzu approached the man across the room who was pulling a flat, metal bed out from a slot in the wall.

He eyed me suspiciously. "Who's the girl, Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu gave me an appraising look before answering, "She's the one who killed him."

He heaved the enormous body bag onto a metal table that extended from the oversized drawer. The man looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Let's see the damage then," he said as he unzipped the bag from face to feet before peeling the sides back. His eyes snapped wide at the sight, slowly turning to look at me once more with disbelief.

"Holy hell girl," he laughed incredulously. "I think I'll start hiring you for these jobs," he said, scratching his head and looking at Kakuzu with a shrug. "No offense, pal."

Kakuzu grunted in response.

I wasn't sure how to react. This guy was acting like what I did was something to be proud of, like it was impressive. I just felt like I got lucky, and had I been a normal girl with no peculiar talent, I'd be dead.

"What exactly did you do to him?" the guy asked as he began poking at the corpse with a colorful variety of instruments.

I stared down at the hem of my sleeve being nervously kneading between my fingers. "I um… well I stabbed him in the face with my shoe," I paused to look up, the guy's brows climbing up his forehead, "and then I set him on fire? Oh, and then I pulled him out of a window... But Hidan did the rest!"

"What?! I didn't know you did all that!" Hidan exclaimed like congratulations were in order as he rushed over to the body to look for himself. He let out a hysterical cackle peering into the bag, head thrown back and hands clutching his stomach. "Damn Izumi, you really fucked this guy up!"

"Very impressive," the bounty collector agreed with a laugh as he zipped the bag back up and pushed the body into the wall with a strained thrust. Just another coin in Kakuzu's pocket from then on.

I gratefully sucked in the air as we exited the disturbing building and Hidan seemed to do the same.

"Before we leave, we'll perform the ritual over there." Kakuzu pointed to a shady area at the building's edge. I worried at my bottom lip, unsure if Kakuzu realized how long the process was and how much strain it would put on me that he'd have to deal with after.

"What is it now?" He asked in annoyance, noticing my hesitance.

"I just… are you guys sure you know what you're doing? I mean, Itachi and Kisame took a while last time and I didn't feel so good after. Kisame had to carry me for a while and-"

Kakuzu cut me off. "Are you questioning my judgement or my strength right now?" His eyes narrowed and I realized I'd made a mistake. He continued on, rephrasing the question to make me feel even dumber. "Do you think we don't understand how to perform the ritual, or is it that you think we are too weak to carry you afterwards?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" I began hurriedly explaining. "I just don't want to… I don't know, burden you guys?" I shrugged with an exasperated sigh.

"Then stop testing my patience and get in position," he commanded with a quick gesture to the shadows beneath the overhanging roof. I shot him an apologetic look before scurrying over. Hidan and Kakuzu took their places standing across from each other with me in the middle. I turned away from Kakuzu's scrutinizing look in favor of facing Hidan as I lowered down to my knees before him. As usual, Hidan wore a look of amusement as he stared down at me.

"Well that's not a bad view," Hidan mused quietly to himself, tilting his head as he continued to regard me. I glanced over my shoulder at the landscape. It was mostly cracked earth and desolation with a forest at the edge of our vision, not exactly what I would consider a nice view. I felt like I was missing the joke.

"Hidan," Kakuzu scolded quickly and Hidan, while rolling his eyes, seemed to straighten up. Kakuzu was apparently appeased by this. "We begin now," he directed.

Hidan brought his hands before him, forming a familiar sign. Once this happened, the humorous curve of his lips pulled into a taut line as he seemed to be fully concentrating on the task at hand.

I was thankful I'd been through the process before, I at least knew what to expect. Similarly to last time, it started as no more than an annoyance but the pulsing headache eventually kicked in. It sat behind my eyes this time, throbbing and making it difficult to keep them open.

Around hour four, the pain residing behind my eyes came to a head before I felt that familiar bursting sensation, though this time it came with a flash. An image, there for just a moment. I blinked several times, completely worn out, as I registered what I had just seen. It was a child's face, a little boy, a mess of black hair with bright green eyes. I heard that cry again, the one I'd heard several times before, and it became clear to me that the child was Aki. Of course there was nothing explicitly telling me so, but I just knew. The angle at which I saw him, he was being cradled in someone's arms, my arms. I was a child myself, of course, but I knew it was me. It didn't just feel like an image or a vision, it felt like a memory.

I let out a gasp with a few heaving breaths behind it as I wrestled with all the conflicting feelings I was experiencing. Exhaustion, mentally and physically, but also relieved to an extent that it was over, another portion of the seal down, and this time I had something to show for it.

"Damn, that was harder than I expected, and so boring too," Hidan whined, pulling me out of my train of thought. He rubbed his temples with closed eyes and a sheen of sweat across his forehead.

"Yes, Hidan. I imagine that it was for you. It requires discipline and focus, afterall," Kakuzu said, and not without a heavy air of condescension.

"Suck a dick. I fucking did it, didn't I? And look, I didn't even break her brain," Hidan retorted matter-of-factly, flipping him off with one hand and gesturing to me with the other. I continued to just sit there catching my breath, rubbing my eyes with the backs of my balled hands.

"I don't think I did anyway... I was kind of fucking careful not to," he mumbled more to himself than anyone else as he took a step toward me and knelt down, pushing my hanging head up to put us at eye level. "Oi, you all good there sweetheart?" he asked.

I blinked several times, the bright lights at the edges of my vision slowly dissipating, before nodding in a daze. The headache thrumming behind my eyes still persisted but was slowly subsiding.

"Breaking her brain…" Kakuzu echoed Hidan. "Was that really a temptation?"

"Well it would have been easier and faster…" Hidan grumbled under his breath, still looking me over, a bit unsure. "I'm just sayin', give me some fucking credit."

"Calm down, Hidan. It's alright that your skills lie elsewhere... like lifting things." Kakuzu looked pointedly at me, making it evident that I was the thing to be lifted.

"Hey, did I tell you to suck a dick earlier? What I meant was choke on one," Hidan sneered at Kakuzu before he grabbed my hands to pull me up to my feet.

"What's this? No complaining or arguing that I should carry her myself?" Kakuzu raised a brow. "How unlike you, Hidan."

"Dude, you seriously complaining that I'm not complaining? Get fucked," Hidan said with a roll of his eyes. I stood there swaying slightly, dizzy from the sudden vertical movement.

"Jashin, we've gotta work on your fucking coordination. Can I trust you to stay upright for five whole seconds?" he teased while removing the scythe from his back and handing it to Kakuzu.

"Now listen, I'm used to my scythe being back here," Hidan said, positioning himself into a squat so I could climb onto his back. I let myself flop against him, my arms draping over his shoulders and his arms hooking under my legs, hoisting me up as he straightened out. "So there's a distinct possibility that I might grab you off my back and start swinging you around. Old habits, ya know?" While I couldn't see his face, I could hear the stupid grin in his voice.

"Okay," I said with a weak laugh. "I've been warned."

"Right? And can you believe people call me an asshole?" He said incredulously.

"Yes " Kakuzu answered immediately which garnered another laugh from me and a scoff from Hidan.

Between his rhythmic trudge and the warmth from both his body and the beating sun, I quickly found myself lulling to sleep. It wasn't particularly sound sleep, what with Hidan and Kakuzu making remarks at each other from time to time, but even more than that there was an odd, nagging sensation in the back of my head that I couldn't seem to shake.

"You still alive back there?" Hidan asked as I began to stir. I felt groggy and half-asleep still. It took me a moment to recall that I was being ferried on Hidan's back and I wondered how much time had passed.

"She might actually be dead," Hidan whispered loudly to Kakuzu when I didn't answer right away.

"We are not that lucky," Kakuzu retorted. I couldn't tell if this was one of his rare, shining moments or humor or if he was being serious.

I scoffed and buried my face in Hidan's shoulder to protest the whole being awake thing. "Yes, I'm dead," I mumbled, muffled.

"I fucking knew it." Hidan said, shaking his head at the tragedy of it all.

"What did I tell you?" Kakuzu murmured to Hidan who laughed.

"I'm just glad my death could bring you two together," I yawned contently.

"Mm. Turns out you weren't useless after all," Hidan agreed and I begrudgingly snorted against his shoulder.

"How about you two stop screwing around and keep an eye out for a spot to make camp. It'll be dark in an hour," Kakuzu cut in, reverting back to being annoyed as usual. He was right though, the sun was on its way to setting as we approached the forest that would eventually lead us home. I had learned that staying at inns wasn't a common occurrence when traveling with Kakuzu. Most nights were spent under the stars because they didn't charge a fee. We managed to find a small clearing by a stream just as the last sliver of sun receded into darkness.

"Alright, alright, free ride is over. Hey, you didn't leave any drool stains back there, did you?" Hidan accused as we entered the clearing.

"Nothing that hasn't dried out by now," I assured him coolly. I had become quite accustomed to the piggy-back ride and hadn't really considered the inevitable reality of needing to exist as a singular entity again. I found myself scowling and clinging a little tighter.

Hidan turned his head to the side, toward me, and spoke in a hushed tone. "Keep holding on to me like that and I'm gonna think you want a different kind of ride..."

Before I could even process his comment, he lowered me down to sit on an overturned tree trunk. I reluctantly released my grip on him, plopping onto the smooth bark.

"Pft, what?" I finally asked, his comment making no sense. He looked down at me with a raise of his brow and folded his arms over his chest, studying me for a moment. I glared back at him, hugging myself for warmth, having severely underestimated how much heat Hidan had been putting off.

"You really don't get it, do you?" He laughed. I could see the gears turning behind the scenes like he was starting to put some pieces together. What he was puzzling out though, I wasn't sure. I may not have understood the joke, but I assumed it was something rude.

I huffed with frustration. "No, I don't. What other type of ride could you possibly give me?" I asked back, annoyed.

Hidan's grin stretched wryly across his face. "You know," he said in a deep, playful timbre as he put one leg up on the log next to me and leaned in, "it's more of a 'show, don't tell' kinda thing."

"Hidan…" Kakuzu warned, which confirmed my suspicions of his comment being rude. "Make yourself useful and collect some firewood."

Hidan's mischievous smirk didn't let up as he clicked his tongue and pushed off the log, stepping backwards with an arrogant swagger before finally turning away from me and sauntering off towards the woods. In a quick motion he tugged his cloak off and tossed it over his shoulder for it to land on my head. I snatched it off with a half-hearted scowl and happily wrapped it around myself.

Kakuzu had begun unpacking some of our things and I shuffled over to help lay out the bed rolls by where I assumed the fire would be built.

"You don't need to do that," Kakuzu said.

"Do what?"

"You've done enough. You should be resting."

I let out a humorless laugh. "That's nice of you to say but I'm well aware of my minimal contributions."

"I have a chest full of money that says otherwise... which reminds me," he dug into his pocket and produced a few coins, holding them out to me. "Your cut," he explained.

"Are… you serious?" I asked incredulously. He looked at me with an eyebrow cocked.

"It's barely anything," he justified. I didn't care, I never had money of my own before. I took it into my hand and I stared at it in disbelief, my eyes flitting between Kakuzu and the coins that chimed softly as they moved in my palm.

"Wow, thanks Kakuzu!" I exclaimed, almost choking up as I threw my arms around him. He was easily the tallest in the Akatsuki, my head reaching mid-chest maybe, and I struggled to even get my arms around him.

"Okay. That's enough." He said, patting my head in an awkward, mechanical way, which turned into more of a pushing motion after a moment. I took the hint and stepped away.

"Sorry," I apologized with a smile, still excited to have made my first wages.

"You're going to make Hidan jealous with that crap," he tutted, turning back to continue setting up camp and, despite what he had said earlier, I continued to help.

"Pffft, okay" I laughed.

"You would be foolish to think otherwise." Kakuzu replied sternly, clearly not joking. I would admit that Hidan had been a bit nicer to me as of late, and I was less willing to admit that I liked it… but that didn't really mean anything, not for Hidan anyway. I was quite sure I was just a game to him.

"I think you're overestimating his emotional range," I countered.

"Listen kid, I've been around for a long time. Over 90 years. I know what I'm talking about."

I pursed my lips and squinted at him. "You don't look 90 years old."

"I age well," he said curtly, offering no more explanation than that. We finished unpacking in silence until Hidan showed up with firewood.

We spent the evening together, the three of us, with very minimal fighting surprisingly. Hidan seemed to be in a good mood which naturally put Kakuzu in a good mood and they showed me how to cook fish over the fire. I think they were pleased to finally know something about preparing food that I didn't, and perhaps I humored them by being a bit more inquisitive than usual... but they seemed to enjoy teaching me and I wanted to encourage any non-violent behavior I could. The night eventually came to a close and I found my eyelids growing heavy as I snuggled into my bed roll beside the fire. Sleep came for me quickly, and it came for me with teeth

Notes:

Thanks for taking the time to read as always :3

Chapter 20: Feeling Human

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

That nagging feeling in the back of my head seemed to feed off the darkness of night, metastasizing into something much more insidious than the shadows. As I slept, I saw baby Aki again. There he was in my arms, looking up, laughing and pink-faced, just the same as before. The scene replayed over and over again on a loop, despite it being only seconds long. Over time, the laugh became... distorted. It devolved into a garbled mess of cries… then the cries into screams. Many of them, all at once. A hundred adult, shrieking howls came bursting from this baby's mouth. Then came the hallucinatory flashes. A normal, happy baby one moment, suddenly covered in swaths and splatters of crimson the next. It felt like that went on for hours before I finally snapped out of it.

I awoke with a start, lurching up into a hunched sitting position, my fingers throttling the blankets like they had personally offended me. I swallowed hard and released a throaty exhale, bringing one shaky hand to comb through my hair. My scalp was drenched in sweat and I couldn't tell if the moisture I wiped from my face was also sweat, or just tears. Regardless, I pulled the bottom of my shirt up to blot at my skin and sat there for a long moment, gathering my senses.

Looking to my left, Hidan was peacefully asleep atop his bedroll. Shirtless as always and not even covered with a blanket, his limbs sprawled out chaotically in every direction, a wheezing snore coming rhythmically from his mouth which hung open. I looked to my right to see Kakuzu laying on his side facing my direction, his eyes open and alert, staring directly at me.

"Oh dear God!" I hissed with a jolt, my hand grabbing at my heart. "You scared the beans out of me." I breathed with some relief, running another shaky hand through my hair.

"I'm only laying here, you were the one making all that noise," he attested, pushing himself up to sit facing the fire which still burned dimly as a pile of red-hot coals. So apparently I'd been some sort of noise in my sleep, enough to wake Kakuzu...

Ugh. Embarrassing.

"Oh I… I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head.

"Stop apologizing for everything."

"Sorry…" I mumbled again absent-mindedly. He probably had an annoyed look on his face, which I'd actually be able to see if I bothered looking. His cowl and mask were removed, folded neatly on the ground beside him. I stared blankly into the coals.

"Have nightmares often?" he eventually asked, his head still but eyes moving to meet mine.

"No… not really. Not like that," I confessed, still feeling shaken. "I think it's this memory stuff… breaking the seals… Like the gap is wide enough now and something is trying to push its way through."

He regarded me silently before looking back at the fire. His hair was surprisingly long, reaching nearly halfway down his back. I focused on it for a second and imagined Kakuzu donning a variety of hairstyles from space buns to a bowl cut. Any distraction had become a welcome one.

"Hey Kakuzu…" I whispered, chewing the inside of my cheek. "What if there's something buried in here...?" I ran my hands through my hair, grabbing the sides of my head. "What if there's something in here I don't want to remember?"

"We all have things we wish we could forget," he said with a certain stoic coldness.

"I guess you're right…" I mused solemnly, taking the opportunity to get a better look at the state of his hair. Frowning, I took note of the many split ends and neglected tangles. It was like the man had never even heard of conditioner. Luckily for him, this was the type of appalling mess I could actually sort out.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked with a twitch of his eye, batting my hand away as I turned a lock of his hair between my fingers for closer inspection.

"I'm going to fix the abomination atop your head formerly known as hair," I chastised, stretching over to my bag to retrieve my brush.

"You've lost your head if you think I'll allow such a thing."

"Pfft, lost my head? You're confusing me with your partner." Brush in hand, I scooted up behind him and settled into a kneel. "Now hold still. The more you fuss, the longer it will take," I ordered patiently as I began to finger-comb through his wild mane first to assess the situation.

"Izumi," he growled out, low and warning, shaking his head in an effort to interrupt my trailing fingers. I was quite used to hearing Hidan's name in that tone, it was the first time he used it on me, however. Still though, maybe he was just tired, but it came out half-hearted.

"Relax Kakuzu… I promise I don't charge a fee," I assured, taking the brush to his scalp and running it down as far as it could go before it hit a knot. He exhaled in a way that made me think perhaps he didn't hate it, but his words said otherwise.

"Izumi, you are really testing me." His voice was gravelly and wrought with irritation.

"Well, let's hope you pass then," I chirped, paying him no mind and continuing to gently work the brush across his scalp, freeing tangles and making it further each time until I finally worked one section enough to bring the comb fully through without stopping. It was actually really lovely when not in a state of disrepair! Quite pleased with this, I moved to the next section.

Kakuzu, despite his earlier protests, sat silently and unmoving, his eyes remaining buried in the coals.

"So… what do you wish you could forget?" I asked, going back to our conversation prior to hair.

He didn't answer immediately, but after several moments, he sighed. "When you're as old as I am, many things." His voice was low and even but there was something else there. A certain tiredness, and not in a physical sense.

"So you're really like 90, huh? Do you have any family?" I inquired curiously as I encountered another knot, a rather stubborn one, and had to set the comb down to solve it strategically with my fingers.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "No… and yes. I have a daughter but… she's an old woman now."

I was surprised by this but tried not to let on as I continued my assault on the tangled knot. He didn't strike me as much of a family man. I had a thousand questions but I knew enough not to pepper him with them all at once.

"Where is she now?"

He shook his head again. "It's useless to dwell on that. She thinks I'm dead anyway. Her mother told her as much when she was only a child."

"What!? Why would she do that?" I asked, baffled. There was a lot about the life of a shinobi I would never come to understand.

"To protect her. It was the right move." He answered matter-of-factly. "She was a smart woman, her mother. Smart enough to know what I'd become, even smarter for getting rid of me before I did."

I'd finally gotten the knot untangled, running the comb through that spot several times to ensure it was resolved completely. It was so odd to me, the way Kakuzu spoke. Like he knew he was a monster and respected her for seeing that, but still did nothing to prevent it. And then there was me, brushing the monster's hair. Life had certainly become strange.

"But you do know where she is, don't you?" I pressed. I didn't want to push him too far, but I couldn't imagine him talking about this stuff with anyone else. The relationships he had were minimal and shallow at best. His closest ally was Hidan and they seemed to hate each other most of the time. My heart broke for him as he stared into the fire, rekindling difficult memories.

He didn't answer but he also didn't say "no". Slowly and not without hesitation, I brought my free hand up, hovering for a brief moment before letting it rest gently against his arm. I resisted the urge to pull it back at the feeling of his heavily stitched skin.

"I'm sorry," I offered in a whisper, rubbing gently up and down his arm. He didn't say anything, he didn't move or shake me off, he didn't even turn to look at me. I let several long moments go by like this, still combing, expecting him to pull away and suddenly become irate with me. But he didn't. He just kept staring at the fire.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing," he eventually said, not breaking eye contact with the smoldering embers.

I breathed out through my nose in a subdued sort of laugh. "You did," I agreed, though I still had a thousand questions. I took my hand back to work out yet another problem area. I was close to finishing though, most of his hair laying like a smooth, flat sheet across his back.

"What was she like? Do you know…?" I wasn't sure if it was wise to keep asking about his daughter, but I felt like it was almost therapeutic for him. He sighed deeply at this question and closed his eyes, his head coming to hang a bit. After another long silence he spoke, returning his gaze to the flames.

"Like you, I suppose," he said without much inflection.

That was not what I expected him to say. I paused mid-comb for a second before picking back up. "She must be pretty cool then," I eventually mused, pulling the comb through the length of the last section.

"Tch…" It was the closest I'd get to a laugh out of him.

"So she's short, smart, a good cook... super funny of course," I continued on, setting the brush down and separating his hair into three sections.

"Kind," he added with a scoff like that was a very silly thing to be, but it wasn't enough to hide that edge of unexpected, quiet pride. I got the sense that he was glad she didn't end up like him.

I smiled, weaving his hair into a braid along the spine. "Well, that depends on who you talk to. She may be kind but I stepped on an ant that other day I'll have you know. I could have avoided it but my legs were tired."

He let out another snort halfway between amusement and disapproval. I tied the end of the braid and gave his shoulders a pat. "All done. This way it won't get all tangled again."

He took the braid into his hand from over his shoulder, turning it over like it was something so foreign that it needed a certain amount of scrutiny before he could allow himself to be at ease in its presence. I scooted to sit beside him and watched the approval process with a faint smile.

Kakuzu glanced at me. "You should sleep."

"I can sleep when I'm dead. You should sleep," I retorted with a pointed look.

"Sleep," he commanded sternly, his brows narrowed with eyes like dagger points. There was that mood swing I'd been anticipating.

"Okay, fine. Geez…" I agreed and began crawling back to my spot.

"Izumi," he addressed, causing me to pause and look back at him. "I would appreciate your discretion with this information."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course," I said, waving off his paranoid concerns.

"And don't think this changes anything. You're still foolish and useless." He glared at me.

I nodded in an obvious manner and agreed enthusiastically. "Oh totally. I'm the worst. Understood." To an untrained eye one might think Kakuzu was not entertained by this, but I detected the slightest upturning twitch of the corners of his creepy ol' lips. I crawled back into bed and managed to make it to morning without incident. In fact the remainder of our travelling went on without incident, despite the pit that had been growing in my belly.

As we got closer to base I could sense the familiarity of the air. The sun was nearly done retreating over the horizon, leaving behind everything as the night raced to take its place. Another day gone. As we stood outside the cave entrance, our bodies engulfed by the orange flame of the sun's parting goodbye, Kakuzu bent down to my level and tugged my cloak up until he decided it covered my neck sufficiently before ruffling my hair and parting my bangs over to the side to cover the burn on my right temple. Hidan watched, grimacing slightly.

"Alright," Kakuzu said, satisfied with my seemingly scratch-free appearance before we entered what I had begun to call home.

"Hey, look who it is. How've ya been, kiddo?" Kisame asked with lifted spirits as he tousled my hair and rested his elbow atop my head.

I laughed softly. discretely and hastily fixing my hair to cover the mark on my face again. "I've been surviving, and I'm not a kiddo."

"Oh, so I guess that makes you a woman?" he asked and I nodded hesitantly, not sure where he was going with it. "In that case, you should go down the hall and take your first left."

I looked up for a moment in thinking, mentally following his directions to figure out where that would lead me. My expression turned sour with realization. It was the kitchen. I snatched the newspaper out of his hand and swatted it against his stomach.

"You are rude," I chided with a light-hearted glare, slapping my hand to my hip. He put his arms up in defense, chuckling at my attempts to punish him with a rolled up wad of paper.

"Ah, I missed this," he sighed, apparently enjoying the beating.

"You mean you missed my cooking!" I laughed, throwing the paper at him and missing due to a sudden darkness obscuring my vision unexpectedly, a pair of hands pressing themselves over my eyes from behind.

"Guess who," a distorted voice whispered into my ear.

"Ew, Deidara!" I shrieked with a giggle as the feel of something wet against my lids before trying to scramble free of his grip.

"Oh no you don't!" He picked me up effortlessly and threw my body over his shoulder. I kicked my legs, beating against his back wildly as he raced towards the kitchen with me in tow and I could hear Kisame's boisterous guffawing from the living room even after we'd left.

"Put me down!" I cried through laughs before he set me to my feet. I staggered backwards for a moment before glaring at him playfully, arms crossed over my chest.

"You can't be mad at me, yeah?" he teased. "Not while I'm hungry at least."

"God, you're so fucking immature," Hidan snorted from the kitchen table where he sat. I hadn't even noticed him there until he spoke.

"Since when do you have room to talk about maturity? You're the worst one out of all of us!" Deidara spat back, his eyes angled dangerously.

Hidan stood abruptly, pushing his chair back from the table, causing it to fall over and screech against the floor as if squealing in fear from the thick tension that suddenly filled the room. With a primal growl resonating deeply in his throat, Hidan's hand grasped tight around the scythes handle.

Deidara produced a low grunt in kind, making a move for his pouch.

I looked back and forth between the two men, absolutely flabbergasted at how they could go from zero to one hundred like that. "Stop it, both of you!" I yelled, throwing myself between them with palms facing out like stop signs towards each one.

"He started it!" Deidara yelled, glaring hard at Hidan whose eyes had a certain manic shine to them.

"I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it," I said sternly, looking from one to the other. Their staring match continued as Hidan slowly swaggered forward until his chest met my outstretched hand. His pectorals flared against it but ultimately allowed it to stop him. Deidara mirrored him so I was truly the only thing between them.

"Guys, please," I pleaded, exasperated. The tension continued to grow to an uncomfortable level before Hidan broke it with a smirk and looked down at his nails, picking at them with disinterest.

"Since you asked so nicely," Hidan said, tossing a wink at me as he broke off and brushed past Deidara, shoulder checking him on his way out. Deidara glowered at him until he turned the corner out of sight. I sighed heavily to myself.

Don't babysitters usually get paid?

"Izumi, you've returned." Itachi's voice made my ears prick. Deidara scowled at this new interruption but Itachi either didn't notice or paid him no mind. He stood in the doorway, the light smile that adorned his face sending a wobbly jolt to my knees. I had only been gone a little less than a week but I'd somehow forgotten the way the air felt electric around him.

I returned a smile and nodded. "Alive and everything, are you impressed or what?"

He looked me over. "Well I am impressed that Kakuzu would update your wardrobe... how very unlike him," he noted with a purposeful step towards me, reaching out and feeling the top of the high collar between his fingers.

Biscuits. He's on to me. Play it cool, Izumi.

"Yeah, Kakuzu's not that bad. Oh, you should ask to see his hair!" I suggested enthusiastically.

Changing the subject. Nice.

"Perhaps I will," Itachi said absent-mindedly. I noticed the pleasant curve of his lips dissemble into an indiscernible taut line, an uneasiness hiding between the cracks. I looked at him cautiously and couldn't help but flinch when he activated his sharingan.

Notes:

Welp, there's the chapter. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 21: Embracing Academy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Is um, is something wrong?" I asked nervously, taking a step back and bumping into Deidara.

He watched Itachi with flickering eyes before narrowing them and resting a protective hand on my shoulder. "Dude, you're being a weirdo. The hell are you doing, yeah?"

Itachi spared him a fleeting glance before ignoring the question entirely, crimson eyes back on me. They were steely in their quick surveillance and I flinched as Itachi's cool fingers touched the center of my forehead before brushing my hair to the side. I could see his expression change from uneasy curiosity to that of a hawk—intensely fierce and calculating.

"What happened?" His voice came out assertive, though not demanding. I winced my eyes shut and released a defeated sigh.

So much for keeping it under wraps.

I felt Deidara's hand lift from my shoulder and when I opened my eyes, he too was staring along with Itachi, eyes locked on my right temple.

Deidara's lips pulled tightly against his teeth as he began yelling. "It was Hidan, wasnt it? I knew I couldn't trust that psycho!"

I waved my hands frantically as I tried to explain. "No no no! It wasn't Hidan, it was his mark, the one with the bounty!" I clarified quickly, tripping over my words as I did so.

"What else did he do?" Itachi asked almost hesitantly. His eyes fell downcast to follow my hands as I subconsciously tucked them inside my pockets.

"N-nothing really," I lied.

He didn't miss a thing with those eyes. My fingers trembled as Itachi grabbed my arms gently and pulled my hands from their rather conspicuous hiding spot. I balled them into little fists in an attempt to both cease the small, but noticeable tremors, and hide the bulk of my injuries. Itachi looked at me with a raised brown and a disapproving tilt of his head.

"Are you planning on starting a fight or is there another reason you have these weapons at the ready?" he asked, his hands around my wrists, lifting them so my fists were between us.

"The first one," I said with confidence, refusing to yield. I couldn't help but smile sheepishly. I knew there was no way out of this one but darn it if I wasn't going to try.

"Starting a fight? With whom?" He was humoring me for the moment. I'd take what I could get.

"Mmmm..." I looked between Itachi and Deidara, contemplating deeply, not about who I wanted to fight of course, but rather, how to get them to focus on literally anything but me.

"You don't seem too sure about this fight anymore," Deidara speculated, crossing his arms over his chest, perhaps not wanting to be left out of the amazingly witty banter.

"These terrible gashes wouldn't have anything to do with it, would they?" Itachi asked calmly as he angled my wrists in various directions to get a better look. Even with my fingers balled up, it turned out he could see plenty.

I winced. The jig was up. "Maybe… but you should see the other guy!" I insisted, internally kicking myself for removing the bandages after a couple days.

Itachi was done playing along. "Izumi," he said somewhat sternly. "Open them."

I felt like a little kid getting in trouble and huffed, letting my fingers relax and unfurl. My eyes set uncomfortably to stare at the ceiling. I was the slightest bit pleased to feel the shakes had stopped at the very least. Itachi's eyes took on a certain frigid stillness as he looked down. Deidara also seemed speechless which was impressive for him, given he always seemed to have something to say.

"Izumi, what the hell," Deidara hissed, quickly finding his voice and making the feat far less impressive.

"This is nothing," I assured, trying to make light of it with a wave of my hands as I pulled them away.

"Nothing?" Itachi repeated with a frozen chill on the word. His hand moving quickly to tug down my collar revealing the angry, mottled bruising that, while far better than it was, still wrapped around my neck in thick greenish yellow swaths. One after another, he was finding everything he wasn't supposed to. I shouldn't have been surprised, and I wasn't really, just frustrated this was yet another thing I couldn't seem to do right.

"Please don't tell anyone," I pleaded. "You weren't supposed to find out… Kakuzu said I wouldn't be allowed on missions if Pain learned about what happened." I bit my lip in waiting for what I hoped would be unconditional agreement to my very simple terms.

"The man who did this... he's dead I presume?" Itachi asked, low and even.

I swallowed hard, remembering the gruesome details, and nodded.

"How very fortunate for him," he followed curtly as he straightened up. Without another word he turned away and exited, leaving me alone under the unstable stare of Deidara.

I looked to him desperately before imploring again, "Dei, please don't tell anyone. I don't want Pain to find out. I'm fine , really."

Deidara's one visible eye took on an increasingly conflicted squint as it flickered across me once more, taking stock of my various injuries several times over. His lips pressed together to form a tight line as he considered my request. "Man, you see if I say nothing and it happens again…" he trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes as I launched into another plea. "I know, I know. I'll be more careful, it was my fault anyway, I should ha-"

I found myself abruptly cut off by the sudden feeling of being pulled forward. What little balance I had to start fled from my feet as I tripped into his grasp, my body hitting against his chest and my eyes snapping open to find myself pinned tightly against him. Nothing but a startled gasp passed my lips as I felt his arms looping around me, pulling me into him further.

"Dei…" I murmured in surprise, barely a whisper as his forearms squeezed strongly against my back, bulging with a protective ferocity. I wasn't sure what was happening in all honesty, but he felt warm and safe and I wanted to keep feeling that. As soon as the paralysis lifted from my arms, I quickly returned the gesture, wrapping them around his torso, my fingers grasping at the fabric of his shirt. If I could have pulled myself any closer, any tighter, we would have become some terrifying amalgamation of two humans fused into one.

I hadn't realized how starved I was for this feeling of being comforted, but after everything that happened, it felt like a drug. The warmth from his hold permeated me, causing my eyes to lull shut as I let my head come to rest against his shoulder. One of his hands instantly glided up to hold it place against him, his fingers burying themselves in my thick hair. Like a heatwave, the temperature of my cheeks lit up in an instant and I relished in that too, the fine hairs on my arms bristling and standing at attention all at once. The breath caught in my throat as I felt his lips brush against my ear.

"Just so you know, Izumi, I never would have let that happen to you," Deidara whispered.

His fiercely somber voice sent tremors through my nervous system and in my attempt to melt into him further, burying my face deeper into the crook of his shoulder and neck. I was absolutely lost in the foreign feeling of what I'd consider my first real hug, so much so that I nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard the clearing of someone's throat from behind us.

Tearing backwards out of Deidara's grasp and slapping my arms against my sides, I quickly turned to see one very cheeky looking Sasori staring at Dei and I with a brow raised impressively high and his arms folded casually over his chest.

"H-how long have you been there?" I stammered out, another wave of heat racing up my cheeks.

He didn't answer, he only smiled.

"I was only greeting everyone after my trip, I just got back!" I shouted defensively despite no one saying anything accusatory to begin with.

Izumi, dear, would you like a shovel to go with this hole you're digging?

Deidara didn't look nearly as perturbed and utterly flustered as I was, in fact, he was looking more like Sasori with a stupid little grin on his face, like he was somehow entertained by my erratic repsonse. He mirrored Sasori in crossing his arms casually, leaning his weight on one leg and watching me with an amused tilt of his head as I continued my one-woman show.

"I see," Sasori said with an understanding nod. "So you're giving hugs out to everyone then? I can't help but notice I haven't gotten mine yet."

"Well yeah… You were going to be next so this is actually perfect! Per-fect!" I blustered as I stomped towards him much more aggressively than warranted or intended.

"Excellent," he agreed and stood open-armed, waiting.

I stopped short of the hug before putting my limbs out in a stiff, awkward fashion, trying to go in with my arms far too high.

He's taller than you, why on earth would your arms be above his?

I paused abruptly with a shake of my head, having realized my mistake, before stepping back and taking a second to readjust into a lower position. Feeling like I was totally nailing the height at which my arms should be, I stepped into the hug again in an odd, mechanical way. My head bobbed from side to side as I tried to figure out which direction his head was going in so as not to bonk mine against his. I didn't recall having to put this much thought into it with Deidara... Sasori watched with a patient smile as I tried to figure it all out and I did all I could to ignore Deidara who looked to be shaking and completely red from trying to hold in a fit of laughter.

Our chests pressed against one another and my hands fell around his back and held him against me by the shoulder blades, which were hard as freaking rock by the way. In fact, so was his chest. I gave his shoulders a few small pats, mostly to test how hard they were, before I couldn't help but tear away.

"Okay, okay, what are you, made of muscle ?!" I shouted incredulously. That just about undid Deidara who had been doing so well in holding it together.

"That was the best thing... I've ever freaking seen!" Deidara cried through literal tears, he was laughing at me so hard. Sasori had also begun to lose his shit in a slightly more controlled way and I was left just wanting someone to answer as to why Sasori was so gosh darn hard .

"Izumi…" Sasori started, taking a moment to contain his laughter enough to speak. "Why do I feel like Deidara got a name brand hug and I got stuck with the store brand?"

"Oh my God, stop! I tried, okay?!" I cried, covering my face with my hands and shaking my head.

"Who is next on your hug list? I can go get them for you if you'd like?" He offered overly sincerely.

I dragged my hands down my face, stretching and pulling my bottom lids away from my eyes. "You were the last one, can you believe it?" I deadpanned.

"I absolutely cannot," Sasori reported with feigned surprise. "So did Itachi get one like mine or one like Deidara's? He pressed with a knowing smirk.

"Okay, alright," Deidara intervened, pulling my hands from my face and smoothing out my hair with a chuckle. "You're probably tired from your trip, yeah?"

"Exhausted," I concurred quickly with a sigh.

"I guess I'll let you off the hook for now then," Sasori mused with a hint of disappointment and a playful look.

"Well thank you . How very generous of you." I said with great exaggeration and a curtsy.

He raised his brows and nodded, clearly impressed with my superior etiquette.

That's right, I'll curtsy on your ass.

"One thing before bed though… Sasori."

"Yes?"

"Why the heck are you so hard?" I asked, exasperated. The corners of his mouth tugged up in pure amusement as he began to remove his cloak.

"Whoa! I wasn't asking for a free show or anything!" I exclaimed, blood rushing to my face and my hands flying out to stop his fingers working deftly to unfasten the garment. Sasori let out a small chuckle at this.

"I think you got the wrong idea," he said, the humor still thickly coating his words. He continued unbuttoning the cloak down his torso before pulling the fabric to the side, revealing his astonishing, inhuman chest. An unrecognizable object sat embedded in his skin where his heart should have been. Upon closer inspection I noticed it wasn't skin at all. My hand reached out to move towards it slowly with inexplicable curiosity until I caught myself and looked up at him apprehensively. He smiled slightly at my hesitance.

"It's okay," he assured. I felt the edges of it and the vein-like structures that wormed around the surrounding area. It was cold and hard with a feeling of finely sanded wood.

"What even are you?" I gaped.

He answered calmly, "A puppet."

"A puppet ?" I asked, my face contorting at his seemingly impossible statement. I looked at Deidara for confirmation and he gave me a nod, lips pulling into a smirk.

"Izumi… what's all this?" Sasori inquired, taking hold of my hand and inspecting the palm with scrutiny. Apparently he'd been studying me while I was busy doing the same to him.

"Not again, not you too…" I groaned, tired of explaining and begging people not to snitch.

"We're supposed to keep it under wraps so she doesn't get put under house arrest," Deidara explained so I didn't have to. I gave him a grateful look.

"Ah, I see. Well in that case," he paused and brought my hand to his mouth, briefly pressing his lips against it. "I hope it heals quickly for your sake."

I flushed, recalling Hidan doing the same when he first bandaged me, before stammering out a flustered "thank you".

Why do people keep doing that?!

"What's wrong, never had anyone kiss a wound to make it better?" He questioned matter-of-factly, head cocked to the side in genuine interest.

"N-no, is that really a common thing?" I asked, honestly baffled.

"Geez, Izumi. I had a messed up childhood and even I know that. People do it all the time, especially parents and relatives," Deidara explained, taking my other hand into his. "It's only sexual if they use tongue," he teased with a pointed look, watching me intently as the tongue from his hand's mouth slowly lapped at my scarred palm.

"Dei!" I cried, tearing both of my hands back and holding them protectively against my chest. The duo proceeded to lose their shit once more as I watched them, impatiently waiting for it to end.

Thanks for coming, hope you enjoyed the show! I'm going to off myself now, see you never.

Deidara pretended to wipe a tear from his eye before leading me by the shoulders out of the kitchen. He eventually began to wind down enough to form a sentence. "I think we've probably tortured you enough for one night."

"I'd say you've tortured me enough for at least a month," I challenged with a stern look coupled with a yawn which, incredibly, made me look much less stern.

"Nah, definitely just one night. We'll pick back up tomorrow, yeah?" He grinned and I scrunched my nose at him as I crawled onto the couch and under the blankets.

"Goodnight guys," I managed to squeak out begrudgingly through another yawn. They returned their own 'goodnights' and retreated into the darkness of the hallway, leaving me to fall into a deep sleep. I don't know how long I was able to stay in such a state before hushed voices stirred me and I curiously met the temptation of listening to a conversation I was not meant to hear.

"The second memory seal removal went well, I take it?" Itachi spoke in a hushed tone so as not to wake me, but having been cursed as a light sleeper at a young age, it didn't take much. I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to alert him of his failure.

"You have too little confidence in us. It went fine." I identified the other voice as Kakuzu.

"Forgive me, but I am having a hard time mustering such confidence given the state you managed to return her in. Did you genuinely think a high collared cloak and some tousled hair would be enough?"

Kakuzu grunted at the insinuation of his foolishness. "Maybe not for you, but for someone like Pain who isn't as personally invested, yes, I think it will do. It didn't go quite as expected, but I assure you she is fine."

"Out of curiosity, as I think you are generally a man of wisdom given your years, what exactly was the expectation? Sending a girl like that in to meet a man like Gorzo. How did you envision that going?" Itachi was mad, I could hear it in his voice. There was a certain sharpness to his pointed questions despite their low volume. I continued trying to focus on appearing asleep.

Kakuzu sighed heavily with an edge of annoyance at the line of questioning hinting further at his lack of judgement. "She was back to her normal self in a matter of days. Keep making a fuss about it and Pain will ban her from leaving base at all. He'd probably put her in solitary, that'll be on you."

"What is it to you if she's to remain confined here? It's unusual for you to break the rules, yet you're hiding this from Pain. What do you get out of this, Kakuzu?" Itachi was pressing him.

"She proved herself useful on our job, made us quite the sum, made Hidan more tolerable. I like to keep our options open." Kakuzu retorted, I imagined with a shrug, his already limited supply of patience depleting by the second.

"Options…" Itachi said, turning the word over thoughtfully, "So you would like to have the option of putting her through some other traumatic trial, or you like having more hairstyle options?" Itachi questioned, obviously referring to the fabulous braid I had given Kakuzu.

"Keh… is that what this is about? Don't waste my time, it's not like that… but if you're worried about someone making eyes at Izumi, I suggest you direct your attention to Hidan."

"That's not what I was saying," Itachi said quickly.

"I read between the lines. Like you said, I have some wisdom given my years… you want to talk about my actions being unusual? Look at yourself, Uchiha." He paused briefly, I presumed to shoot Itachi some sort of hostile look. "I'm done with this conversation."

One set of heavy footfalls receded, surely Kakuzu leaving. I heard nothing else for a long time, so long in fact that I began to wonder if Itachi had chosen to float away. He seemed to be a man of many mysteries and I wouldn't put it past him to have such a talent, but I eventually heard a weighty sigh that was undeniably him.

My heart raced at the sound as it was far closer than I expected. Based on my exceptional survival instincts, I estimated him to be standing practically on top of me as I "slept", half-curled up with my head peeking out of a mess of blankets on the couch. I hadn't heard him walk over, so maybe he had floated. After a long, tenuous moment of silence, I swear I could sense that he was drawing nearer into my personal bubble. There was that static electricity buzzing through the air that seemed to happen whenever he was near.

It took everything in me not to flinch as I felt something brush gently against my hair and I mentally I breathed a sigh of relief upon realizing It was Itachi, his fingers lightly pushing my bangs to cover the unsightly scab on my temple more effectively. I thanked the Gods that my arms were safely beneath the blanketed confines, lest he notice the wave of brail-like goosebumps manifesting across the skin of my arms at his touch.

His hand retreated as he let out another sigh. I envisioned it going in tandem with a slight shake of his head but I didn't dare open my eyes to find out. I laid still for so long afterwards, listening for retreating footfalls, that my feigned sleep slowly transformed into the real thing.

Notes:

Lmao GUYS I want to apologize for not keeping Sasori in character whatsoever but for some reason in my headcanon, he is this lowkey sarcastic sweet sassypants and I'm just not sorry about it. I can't be. This is who he is now. (Also thank you for reading!)

Chapter 22: Late Night Snack

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sweat-drenched and gasping for breath, I had officially reached "recurring nightmare" status. Not able, or maybe more accurately, not willing to go back to bed, I aimlessly wondered what time it was as I dragged myself into the kitchen. The clock read 3:14 am.

Ah, yes, the perfect time to make mochi treats.

Even awake, even with my eyes open, I could still see vague images of that bloody baby and distantly hear it's agonizing wails consisting of an indeterminable number of screams blending into one horrible, disjointed amalgamation of sheer terror. Mochi snacks sounded great.

I took care in not creating too much clatter as I went about the kitchen gathering various bowls, utensils and ingredients.

"Rice flour, rice flour, where could you beeee…." I sang in a whisper accompanied by a tired little wiggle as I scouted through a cupboard on my tippy toes, not quite tall enough to see.

"Back left." A voice startled the absolute beans out of me from behind. I flung around with an admittedly over-the-top gasp, whipping a wooden spoon in the direction of the source without a second thought, my free hand grasping at my heart.

Killer instincts, girl.

Itachi, not even batting an eye, reached out in an instant to pluck the spoon from the air as he coolly approached the cabinet I stood in front of without a word. Paying me no mind, he reached past my head, his chest pressing against me as I stood between him and the counter frozen in place. I couldn't help but notice he smelled vaguely of sandalwood and sage, a combination I found myself enjoying quite a bit. After a brief moment that I wished lasted a bit longer, Itachi pulled back, a ceramic container of rice flour in his hand. He set it on the counter beside me and took a small step away, regarding me curiously and holding out a spoon.

"You dropped this," he offered calmly, as if I didn't just chuck it at his head. I flushed, snatching it back with a quiet apology.

"Accidents happen," he offered graciously, the corners of his lips upturning in a pleasant curve, apparently not entirely put off by my display of shinobi-level cutlery throwing. "Late night snack?" he asked with a raised brow.

I sighed and let out a dithery laugh, tapping the spoon against my palm. "Something like that."

He looked at me with that expressionless glaze over his eyes that made me feel like I was supposed to keep talking.

"I couldn't sleep," I elaborated. My stupid little lizard brain hated that I barely filled the silence.

"Well I could sleep, I just wasn't very good it," I elaborated further.

Still those same eyes. I fidgeted with the spoon, slapping it against my palm even faster.

"Well, you see, I've been having nightmares since the last memory seal was broken," I elaborated even further with a sigh.

Holy crow, that's enough. For the love of all that is holy, give the man a chance to respond.

"I see…" he finally interrupted my impressive show of how to converse using minimal social skills. "I don't suppose you need assistance with… this?" He gestured to the counter loaded with a variety of foods and equipment.

"Mochi with red bean paste filling," I explained quickly and smiled far too wide at his offer. "Well, it will be anyway. I'll get you an apron!"

"Is this necessary?" he asked as I skipped up to him with the mostly white, albeit somewhat stained garment.

Now it was my turn to raise a brow. "Itachi…" I began very sternly, he looked at me with his head cocked in waiting for whatever dumb thing was about to come out of my mouth. "I know out there," I gestured vaguely to the outdoors and training areas, "you're Mr. Perfect or whatever."

"Mr. Perfect?" he repeated quietly with the hint of a smile.

"Yes. You know all the ins and outs, how to survive and what to do in any given situation. Winning all your little fights. Always keeping it cool and whatnot. But here? You're in my domain now, and in my domain, we wear aprons."

"A simple 'yes' would have sufficed," he teased. I rolled my eyes and moved behind him before he could protest, swiftly wrapping the apron around his waist and securing the ties in back.

Itachi was kind of adorable to watch bumble around the kitchen, attempting to follow my directions to the best of his ability. The realization struck me that all his time had been spent learning how to kill people and snatch flying spoons, so he never had time to learn an art such as cooking. I took great pleasure in teasing him about the deformed mochi abominations he was turning out next to my perfectly round, little red bean cherubs.

He eventually asked, and I had sensed it coming forebodingly, about my nightmares. I divulged the chaotic details to him as vaguely and nonchalantly as possible, not looking to come off as a psychopath that dreamt of blood-covered babies on the reg, but he wasn't really having any of that, pressing me until I came out with all the creepy details.

Patient as ever, he allowed me to veer off track several times with long-winded rants on my favorite books, my theories on fish-people, Kisame in particular, and the merits of eating dessert before dinner. Despite my near-constant attempts to derail the conversation, he would humor me to an extent before forcing me back on track.

"It sounds like you have quite the troubling memory trapped somewhere in here," he speculated with a tap to my forehead, looking at me in the same way you might a tower of precariously piled dishes. I absently wondered how many more plates I could take before they all came crashing down.

"Yes, and now I have a big streak of cornstarch on my forehead, don't I?" I deadpanned with a hand on my hip.

"Perhaps… perhaps not," he said with a barely perceptible smirk. "What would make you think such a thing?" he asked with a degree of innocence that made me scoff.

"Itachi… you have corn starch all over your face." I waggled my spoon around in loose circles, gesturing at the modern art adorning his features in the form of white streaks and splotches. "And here I was thinking you were just innately good at everything," I mused, wetting a cloth. Turning to him, I had to stifle a giggle as I was met with a frowning Uchiha, clearly not used to being bad at anything and certainly not being called out on it.

"I'm sorry," I caved in playfully. "Looks aren't everything." I said, glancing down at the endearing little misshapen mochi lumps Itachi had produced.

"First you attack my cooking, now my looks. Izumi, I'm beginning to wonder if I should leave," he said with a shake of his head. He was joking... I hoped.

"Not your looks!" I immediately backpedaled. "God, I don't think you have anything to worry about there..." I said under my breath with an incredulous snort.

"Oh?" He cocked an eyebrow. Guess he heard that.

Oops.

"I was talking about the mochi before!" I defended, quickly attempting to move away from my accidental admission that I found him rather pleasing to look at.

"Well, yes, but then you were talking about me. I didn't mind that." He leaned coolly against the counter, eyes steady on me. I wished they weren't as I felt the heat of blood prickling beneath my cheeks. His entertained expression seemed to grow even more. Was he trying to fluster me? I simply couldn't allow it.

"I'm sure you didn't mind, considering it was a compliment." I tried to take a page out of his book and play it cool.

"You wouldn't happen to have any more, would you? Perhaps one that's not muttered under your breath and punctuated with a noise a pig might make?"

Oh, he was good. I could feel myself getting all riled up, scrambling for something witty to sling back at him. Calm and collected. That's what I vowed to be and darn it, I was going to be those things. I mustered my resolve and gave him a scrutinizing once-over.

"Well, I can't compliment your cooking."

"As we've established," he agreed. "Surely there's something else?"

Well isn't he in a cheeky mood at 3 am.

"And you already know you're attractive," I added, matter-of-factly.

"Do I?"

I swallowed as I realized he was backing me into a corner, and boy did he know it judging from the look on his face. How on earth did smug look so good on him?

Psh… you're not backing me into a corner, Mister. I'll march right into it all on my own, thank you very much.

"Fine. You already know that I think you're attractive. Is that better?"

"Oh, significantly."

It was becoming increasingly more difficult to maintain 'calm and collected' and the temptation to devolve into a state of utterly flustered was just that, tempting. He looked quite pleased and I couldn't tell if it was with himself, me or both, though as ruffled as I was, I couldn't help but want more.

"But you had already mentioned that," he cut into my thoughts. "Not that I'm bothered by hearing it again, but I am still waiting for another."

"You want another compliment?" I asked, clicking my tongue and pushing my jaw forward in a challenging sort of way. He merely looked at me in waiting, clearly amused to see where this was going. "I'll give you another compliment…" I grumbled, balling up the wet cloth in my hand and flinging it at him with a smug look of my own.

Without breaking his relaxed lean or even looking at the darn thing, his arm shot out to catch it before it splatted against the cabinet behind him. All according to plan.

"You're good at catching things," I said very sincerely.

He smiled, uncrumpling the cloth and inspecting it listlessly. "How very convenient, considering I was recently told I had something on my face. Thank you, Izumi, that was very thoughtful."

"You're very welcome, Itachi. I'm a thoughtful kind of gal," I said as I watched him wipe his face, missing much of what needed to be cleaned. Whatever game we were playing, I liked it. Not only did I like it, I wanted to win.

"Looks like we found another thing you're not so good at. I don't suppose you need my help?" I offered, taking a step towards him.

"Need is a strong word," he admonished, though the humour in his voice belied the stern look he attempted to give me.

Stubborn man.

"Would you like my help?" I amended, closing the space between us and tugging the cloth from his fingers.

"Well, since you're here and have apparently commandeered my only rag…" he trailed off, as if there was nothing he could possibly do about it.

"True. I imagine it'd be quite difficult for you to steal such a thing back, what with my incredible strength and speed."

"Incredible indeed," he said in a pointed way, his eyes oddly intense upon me.

Something about his gaze made me feel stupidly flushed. I chewed on my lip in an attempt to bite back any further comments and brought the moist cloth to his skin, gently wiping the white powder from his nose before moving to his cheeks, making my way across his face and ending with a particularly large smear just below his lips. My throat felt dry when I got to that part and I hoped he didn't notice how audible my swallow was.

"You act like I'm the only one," he speculated, staring down at me and pulling the rag from my hand without breaking eye contact, "in need of assistance."

"Well if you recall, Itachi, you're the one that got stuff on my forehead," I scolded. He smiled contently as he wiped the smudge in question.

"Fair enough, Izumi, I'll take accountability for that one," he paused with a tilt of his head, his eyes travelling down to my lips, "but how would you explain this one?"

The coolness of the cloth glided across my chin beneath the guidance of his thumb, inching towards my lips and just barely grazing the bottom edge. I wondered if it felt like this to him, the comforting pressure of someone tracing lines across your skin with the cool, damp cloth. He continued the gentle wiping, moving extra delicately around the wound on my temple and pausing to examine it more closely.

"This is a burn?" he asked, blotting around it, likely trying to identify it's cause. I didn't want to talk about my injuries though.

"Yes. Now enough about me, how's your wound doing?" I asked, taking the rag back and placing it on the counter. No more distractions.

"My wound?" He seemed genuinely perplexed.

"Yes. Your wound. The one you got because of me, back when I fell in that water. It was a stab wound to your abdomen if I recall correctly?"

"Ah, yes. That was nothing," he recalled, waving it off with swift casualness. My eyes narrowed and I wished it would make me look intimidating like him instead of a petulant child at worst, angry teddy bear at best.

"My injuries are nowhere near as bad and I wasn't allowed to get away with saying 'it's nothing'," I reminded him sharply, closing it out with my best Itachi impression before folding my arms across my chest, an impatient tap to my foot.

He stared at me with a furrowed brow and a certain calculating look, probably trying to determine if it would be more painful to just appease me or continue to push back. I watched the conflict play out in his expression before he ultimately let out a sigh and stared up to the ceiling in defeat, his hands moving to lift his shirt.

Wise decision, Uchiha.

I stepped back and stooped down to get a closer look. I'd probably going to hell for this but at first I didn't even see the scar, I was entirely too distracted by the small trail of hair creeping up from his pantline towards his navel, which, by the way, sat perfectly nestled within some rather exceptional abdominals.

Ahem… concerned about his abs, are we?

Right. I quickly shifted my focus to the slightly angry, pink scar just above his hip bone. While it did look mostly healed, I certainly wouldn't have called it nothing.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked, my fingers reaching out with a mind of their own to lightly to trace the edges of the fresh skin. A small twitch of his muscles caused me to pause, worried it had indeed pained him.

"No," he eventually replied, probably downplaying it as his voice was noticeably strained.

"You don't have to act so tough, you know" I tutted. "Not with someone like me. I could see you at your weakest and you'd still be stronger than me." I laughed to myself, thinking about our insane power difference. He continued to regard me in silence which was fine by me as I continued to be quite distracted by his exposed midsection.

Lightening the pressure of my touch to barely a breeze, my fingertips whispered across the pink scar one last time, again, his abdomen shivering just ever-so perceptibly. I pulled away frowning, wishing there were more I could do to help.

Well, there is that one thing…

I cleared my throat. "So, I recently learned about this ancient healing technique, Itachi. I could try it out on you, if you don't mind," I offered, looking up at him with big eyes. He tore his gaze from the ceiling to meet mine.

"Consider my curiosity piqued."

"It won't hurt," I assured, sinking down to put the wound at eye level and taking his tugged up shirt into my hands. He seemed hesitant to relinquish control of the garment and when I glanced up, he was staring down with a markedly tense look painting his face.

"Don't you trust me?" I asked, looking up at him and blinking, wanting nothing more than to ease the anxious intensity he watched me with.

His adam's apple bobbed with a swallow before answering evenly slowly, "I do."

"Okay, so... so keep in mind, this technique may be ancient but I'm new to it, so I can't guarantee results," I reminded apologetically, analyzing the scar marring his lower-right abdomen. One deep breathe was all I needed to steel myself before I slowly, sweetly, as gently as possible, planted my lips against the far edge of it.

Despite his fingers always being cold, I took note of the warmth emanating from his core. Feeling the muscles in his side spasm, my free hand moved to rest against it, to offer a sense of steadiness, mindlessly rubbing my thumb across the skin and over his hip bone.

I nearly startled back as I felt Itachi's fingers comb through my hair, entwining with the strands before coming to a pause and resting atop my head. At first I thought it may have been to halt me, but after a moment of stillness and his nails gently scratching at my scalp, I realized much to my excitement, he was encouraging me. Between that and enjoying the feeling of his skin against my lips perhaps a bit too much, I decided one more was in order. Afterall, the scar was rather long, more of a slice than a gouge, and I had really only treated one end of it.

It's only right…. right?

I withdrew just slightly to move across the newly formed pink scar to the other edge before planting my lips there as well, the breath coming out of my nose in a long, soft exhale as I did so. My thumb continued to move lazily back and forth over the protruding hip bone in some sort of comforting gesture and I did my best to keep the pressure of the kiss light so as not to aggravate the healing wound, but the barely detectable sound that Itachi seemed to breathe out made me pull back with a start.

"I-I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" I worried at my lip, straightening up in a snapping motion and pulling my hands back to myself.

"No," Itachi assured quickly but stiffly, his head angled upwards so I could only just make out that his eyes were clenched shut with brows knitted as he pinched the bridge of his nose in an alarming show of emotion. He stayed like that for a short moment as he let out an exhale, and a pang of guilt shot through me.

"I'm so sorry, it was only meant to be… I don't know, I was being stupid. I'm really sorry, Itachi, I didn't mean for it to hurt." I could feel myself shrinking. Pathetic.

"It didn't hurt," he reassured once more in a strained voice like his mind and focus was elsewhere.

Like perhaps the pain he's in… because of you by the way, pressing your idiotic face against unhealed wounds, you absolute goober.

I backed away into the counter with cherry red cheeks, inwardly admonishing myself for thinking he might possibly enjoy such a childish thing, only to be even more embarrassed for clumsily knocking into a ceramic dish on the counter which went shattering against the floor. The symphony of shards skittering across the tile immediately snapped Itachi out of whatever mode he was in.

"Don't move," he ordered, his eyes scouring the floor and taking note that while he had shoes on, I wore none. Without any time to protest, he swiftly lifted me onto the counter.

"You truly are dangerous," he said with such a look, his eyes darkened more than usual, that I couldn't be sure what he was referring to.

"Sorry," I winced.

He laughed lightly and shook his head. I loved that laugh, however small it was. I was half-tempted to huck another dish on the ground in the hopes that I'd get to hear it again.

Notes:

You best believe things are about to HEAT TF UP. I mean, at least a little bit anyway, hah... :3 Thanks for all the kudos and comments!

Chapter 23: If You Can't Stand The Heat...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"So, about that ancient healing technique," he said, brow quirked. I quickly covered my face, like somehow that might excuse me from his questioning. Spoiler alert; it did not.

"You mentioned that you only just learned it... I'm curious who taught you such a thing." He peeled my hands away, forcing me to look at his impossibly charming face which, to my surprise, held some amusement at the moment. "So I know who to thank."

Okay, so he doesn't seem too hurt after all…

"Sasori…" I admitted.

"Ah, I see." He nodded.

"And, well… Hidan too I guess," I added reluctantly. That one didn't get me an entertained nod. That one got me a sternly leveled brow. I decided not to tack on Deidara's name as well.

He bit his lip in thinking as he regarded me in the manner a shogi player studies the board, like he wanted to make a play but needed to assess the risk of the moves that might follow. Quietly clicking his tongue to finally say something, he appeared to settle on his move.

So we're still playing this game...

"So, of your colorful variety of injuries..." he began in a low, baritone voice, taking my hands in his to examine the palms, his brow still held together tightly and eyes steadily roving across me.

"You've received this same healing treatment…" he released my hands, moving to brush the hair away from my bruised neck and regarded it with a tilt of his head. "Where exactly?"

I couldn't seem to speak as the intensity of his gaze held me in place. Hesitantly holding my palms up, I managed get out, "just here."

"Mm." His eyes flickered between my face and neck. "So, what you're telling me..." he murmured, fingers tracing ever so lightly along my neck and over my jawline, making the breath catch in my throat as he passed over it, "...is that these areas..." fingertips gliding upwards still toward my hairline., "...haven't been treated?" He finished with an inquisitive cock of his brow punctuated with another disarming head tilt.

I nodded slowly with a swallow, allowing myself to breathe once more. "That's right," I whispered, suddenly becoming aware of the fact that Itachi was fully pressed against the counter I sat on, my knees touching against the sides of his waist. The realization alone set the hitch in my throat all over again.

"If you'll allow me, I'd like to remedy that," he offered, his pupils large and voice dripping low.

"You can try," I replied genuinely, fighting against my nerves to maintain a steady voice and immediately kicking myself at the choice of words and how weird and challenging they came out.

You can try?! For heaven's sake, Izumi, you may as well double-dog dare him.

Much to my dismay, the awkward response did not go unnoticed. I only managed to come to terms with it because of the endearing twitch of his lips it sparked as he bit back more amusement than he cared to let on.

"I'll try then," he agreed. "But I need you to do something for me..." His eyes flickered across my form and I nodded in agreement before I even knew the terms.

Hasty girl.

"I've not attempted such a technique before either, so I'll need you to remain perfectly still..." he said as his hands came to rest on the tops of my thighs, "and perfectly silent." Realizing my lips were parted from a heavy breath, I quickly snapped them shut to avoid any other accidental noises.

Sure, we had been playing at this odd sort of unspoken contest, in which neither one of us really knew how to win, but now he was putting rules to it. My confidence wavered at the seemingly simple stipulations.

"Can you do that for me?" he asked, angling his head down to meet my gaze.

"Of course I can," I feigned confidence.

"Good," he said with a smile and a squeeze, his hands so large on my thighs that I felt even smaller than usual. I fought hard against my eyelids wanting to flutter to a close at the foreign sensation and even harder against the uncomfortable heat gathering between my legs.

"Perfectly still and perfectly silent," he repeated. "You may nod or shake your head in response to a direct question. Understood?"

I nodded shakily and his eyes seemed to darken at my response as he took hold of my hands, guiding them to lay flat on the counter to my sides, behind me. "I want you to keep your hands here."

It forced me to lean back slightly which immediately sent my teeth to worry at my lip. I'd already been feeling this… this weird urge to push my hips forward. I was already very nearly, though not quite, pressing against him, and the angle in which he placed me somehow made that urge to close the gap even stronger.

One little slip…

"Tch…" I scoffed. Stupid, instigating inner dialogue.

"Perfectly silent, remember?" Itachi scolded me and I nodded sheepishly. This was going to be more difficult that I thought.

He straightened up and took a moment to regard me and, in true Itachi style, I had no idea what he was thinking. It was like he was playing shogi again and I was the piece in consideration. He just wasn't sure what he wanted to do with me yet... or maybe he was.

He took my chin in his hand and angled my face to the side, his other hand lightly sweeping strands away from my temple. I waited with my heart pounding in my throat as he leaned over me. I could feel the breath against my cheek before his lips came to press lightly against the once angry wound bordering my hairline. It was warm and gentle and I allowed my eyes to close as he lingered there for a moment before pulling back at a leisurely pace, our faces only inches apart as I came to find him closely examining mine when I opened my eyes.

"Did that hurt?" He asked quietly.

"N-" I began to answer but stopped at the swift raise of his eyebrow.I'd broken his rules yet again. Apologizing with a lilt of my brows, I shook my head instead.

Seemingly satisfied, he tilted my chin away once more, though this time angling it back. He pulled at the collar of my shirt and ran a finger over my fully exposed neck. My body wanted to shudder and my breath wanted to hitch, but I squeezed my eyes shut and poised through it.

Perfectly still and perfectly silent… perfectly still and perfectly silent… Perfectly still and perfectly silent… perfectly still and perfectly silent… Perfectly still and perfectly silent…

"These injuries are rather extensive, Izumi," he noted aloud in a deep whisper and I felt his hair tickling against my skin as he lowered down once more. "I am recommending a more rigorous treatment." His lips moved against my ear as he spoke and I failed in stopping a small tremor run through me. He paused at this.

"I don't have to worry about you moving, do I?" he asked, his tenor so husky it nearly made me give in and push my hips forward. I bit my lip and shook my head.

"Good." His breath lit against my ear again before I felt him move lower. In the moment before his lips came to press against the skin of my neck, I imagined myself as a rubber band being pulled tighter and tighter. The anticipation itself, his breath against my neck, but not his lips. Just waiting for something to give. It was excruciating.

A tiny gasp. A tiny gasp is all I let out as his lips finally brushed against my neck. I thought that was pretty good, all things considered. Just as I prepared to melt into him, however, he was gone. Itachi pulled back abruptly and looked down at me with a very severe, impatient expression. I felt like a dog that knew it had done something wrong but just couldn't help itself.

I know I shouldn't have torn up the couch but that's just my body's reaction to your lips against my neck.

Except replace the couch bit with ' gasped like an inexperienced idiot'.

"Izumi, I'm starting to think you're not taking this seriously," he said with a frown, looking entirely disapproving. I bit my lip hard and looked at him pleadingly in an attempt to convey that I was, indeed, deadly serious about this. I watched his stern expression dissolve with a tilt of his head, his hand grabbing my chin once more.

"You're trying though, aren't you?" he muttered, running his thumb over my swollen lip.

I nodded with a swallow and he seemed to accept this, leaning in once more. Somewhere in the back of my head, I absently noted that my arms had begun to shake beneath me, but was immediately distracted by the press of his lips hot against my neck once more. Oh, they seared a heat right through me and I was only vaguely aware of my chest heaving with the unnatural pace of erratic, weighty breaths and I prayed they wouldn't count against me as I was far from perfectly still .

He removed himself from my neck and I felt the sting of disappointment again as I assumed he was only depriving me further, but his mouth merely brushed along the skin, ebbing and flowing, pressing and breaking away for breath and pressing again in a slow trail across it toward the other side. My eyes clamped shut as tightly as my lips, fighting against my body's overwrought reactions. Itachi, still grasping me by the chin, angled it the opposite way to gain full access to the other side of my thoroughly exposed and elongated neck.

I worried further about the stillness of my body as the tremors in my arms grew stronger and, despite my efforts, my chest continued to pitch with every shaky breath that I so diligently expelled exclusively through my nose.

I took great care, at the threat of Itachi ending treatment, to keep my mouth closed. To his credit though, Itachi was being lenient with his rules in a sense, as I knew for a fact that my rhythmic, puffing chest was not lost on him. The angle at which he had placed me pushed my breasts out already, throw in my desperate panting and yes, I was quite sure he noticed me pressing against him with each semi-restrained breath. Maybe that's why he was letting me bend the rules a bit, this was his fault after all.

The slow, purposeful procession of kisses came to halt, his lips firmly against my neck just below my earlobe. He pulled back just slightly, just for a moment. I could hear his own breathing had quickened and there was a long, tense pause. While I couldn't see his face, I imagined he was playing shogi again.

What's your play, Itachi…?

The room was silent save for our breathing, even his was labored enough to be audible at that point, and I could hear him swallow. I steeled myself with baited breath, waiting for his move.

His free hand grabbed at my waist under my shirt, his fingers squeezing the softness of it before his mouth was against me once more, the warmth and wetness of his tongue pressing into my skin before his lips wrapped around my neck with a slight suction. The sensation was searing and I truly didn't have a shot in heck at keeping my mouth shut.

The sharp, surprised inhale coupled with whatever unintelligible noise that burst from my lips was much louder than I expected and sounded foreign in my ears even though it came out of my own mouth. I winced my eyes shut even harder as I was sure Itachi would stop at this transgression. Or at least, I thought he would anyway.

His hand on my chin quickly shifted to cover my mouth. but, much to my surprise, he continued to scald circles onto my neck, slow laving kisses. He broke away just briefly to speak.

"Izumi…" he breathed and I found myself producing a pained whimper against his palm at the way he said my name. "I have neither the time nor the patience to allow you to continuously break the very simple rules I've laid out. If you cannot stay quiet then I will quiet you myself. Understood?"

This was not the soft-spoken, patient, docile Itachi I had come to know. This was a man who liked to be in control, and oh God did I want to be controlled by him.

I nodded hastily. He bent towards me once more but stopped short and pulled back entirely as if just realizing something. I pried my eyes open to see him staring down at me, his pupils widely dilated and head cocked in curiosity.

"What's this?" he asked, one hand remaining on my mouth so I knew I wasn't meant to answer. His other hand moved from my waist to my wrist and slowly up the length of my violently shaking arm. He leaned to one side to get a better look, his fingers trailing to the shoulder and then back down to feel the constant tremor running through it.

"Are they tired?"

I nodded with a small whine. His eyes flitted from my quivering appendages to my face, regarding me in a curious manner.

"Yet you maintained it…" he mused quietly, thoughtfully, almost to himself yet maintained eye contact with me. He was still playing shogi.

I wondered what my face looked like to make his eyes so hungry as he took me in. Leaning over me once more, his mouth by my ear and his hand travelling up my back to hold firmly against it.

"You can rest your arms," he whispered. "You've been very good, Izumi."

I sighed gratefully, letting my arms give out with a tiny noise of relief as Itachi bolstered me in place.

"Almost done, I promise…" he murmured, though I wouldn't have been upset if he broke this particular promise.

The heat that coiled and tightened between my legs had grown into something much more intense, a burning, longing ache that throbbed and bordered on the edge of pain. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. My body itched to move forward, to rub against him and find some sort of relief, but I couldn't, not yet, not while he'd forbidden it.

His mouth was against my neck one last time and I did my best not to squirm. I was getting sloppy though, and the slight sucking sensation from his open-mouthed kiss followed by the light rake of his teeth along the sensitive skin atop my jugular was too much. A simpering moan escaped me, muffling against his hand, my toes curling to stop myself from pushing against him. Itachi slowed to a pause, his tongue retreating behind his lips which pressed one last time against me before pulling back all together and moving to my ear.

"Did that hurt?"

I shook my head quickly, very much wanting him to understand how much it did not hurt. He straightened up to look upon me, letting the hand over my mouth fall down to my waist, his other hand mirroring it to hold me in place there by my hips. The skin beneath his fingers felt like it was on fire and my lips hung gaping as I worked on getting my breathing under control.

"I hope this helped you understand the foolishness of that question now..." he said. I stared back at him, recalling when I'd asked that same thing and realized with a healthy flush that his reaction before was not one of pain.

Not to mention you're a giant dolt for thinking otherwise to begin with.

I nodded slowly and he seemed to smile, the realization apparent on my face.

"I do hope the treatment was a success," he said quietly, leaning down to press those lips against my forehead. It made me bold, bringing my hands up to rest on his chest, lightly clinging to the fabric of his shirt, and I closed my eyes with a contented sigh.

"Consider the rules suspended," he murmured into my hair before pulling back to take another look at me with a sigh of his own.

He may have been done playing shogi, but as far as I was concerned, I hadn't even gotten a turn yet.

I looked him in the eye with lips still parted, my brows angling up in a desperate, silent plea. The pulsing ache at the center of my thighs was ever-present. Languid and deliberate, I scooted forward until our hips met fully and I let out an unintentional little sigh as I felt something hard and hot against the bundle of nerves between my legs. I watched his face intently as I ground against him, and it did not disappoint.

Everything had led to that moment, all of the flirting, all of my obedience, all of it just so I could see his reaction then; the stiffening of his entire body all at once, breath gusting from his lips in surprise, brows knitting together in an instant. His eyelids fluttered shut, jaw clenching and unclenching.

He was still Itachi though, always holding his cards close to his chest, and that included what might have been a groan had he not trapped it there. I could feel it vibrating against my fingers that spread over his pectorals. The hands holding tight to my hips squeezed, fingertips dimpling into my soft skin, pulling me even harder into him, eliciting a spiking whine from me.

The image of him of all people unraveling like this was immediately seared into my memory, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't absolutely delight in it.

"Oh hey, don't mind me," Kisame said casually, though not without a chuckle as he noticed us after he'd already made it part-way into the kitchen. He wore only boxers and slippers, which scuffed against the floor as he made his way to the fridge.

Itachi and I parted from each other like we'd been freaking electrocuted. He jolted backwards, clearing his throat uncomfortably and fidgeting with his pants as I quickly crossed my legs and smoothed my hair.

"Watch out, a jar fell," I managed to eke out.

"Slippers," he noted, scraping carelessly through the shards and releasing a blinding torrent of light into the dimly lit room as he opened the fridge door which left me feeling terribly exposed despite being fully clothed thank God.

Good reminder that it could be worse…

Itachi and I both watched in awkward silence as Kisame fumbled through the fridge, pulled out a carton of juice, took some time in guzzling it dry, set the carton on the counter, noticed the mochi snacks, smiled to himself, popped one into his mouth, began to leave, paused to grab another, then made to leave again.

"Carry on," he croaked tiredly, shuffling away once more with a wave.

Did God send him to preserve my chastity or is the devil just screwing with me?

"We should probably get all this cleaned up…" Itachi mumbled after a moment of silence, looking around for a broom. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.

"Y-yeah."

"You stay up there," he commanded, and for about the zillionth time that night, I obeyed.

We eventually finished cleaning up and he saw me to the couch. I was hoping for a goodnight kiss because I was stupid. Even just one on the forehead would have been more than enough for me, but we were both far too awkward for words. I went to bed that night with an intense yearning between my legs and the fear in my head that whatever just happened was all a fluke somehow.

Notes:

DON'T KILL ME. It's KISAME'S fault, not mine :3

Chapter 24: Girl Talk

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I wondered who else would be part of the "early risers" club as I awoke in another cold sweat at 5:12 am according to the kitchen clock, which was quickly becoming a close and trusted friend of mine.

Who needs sleep when you have clocks.

My questionable logic was a good indicator that sleepless Izumi was bad news for everyone. No one else was awake and the entire complex was completely silent, which I thought would be relaxing… but honestly, it was boring . I realized, not without concern, that I had grown accustomed to, and even enjoyed the cacophony of living with the Akatsuki.

I downed a cup of coffee and poured myself another before starting breakfast, assuming someone would be up soon wanting to eat.

"Aren't you up a little early for someone who was also up so late ?" Kisame's voice came from behind me, and it did little to hide any insinuation. I turned around with a sigh, crossing my arms.

"Good morning to you too, Kisame." I said sweetly with a fake little smile.

He grinned. "Lucky for me though, you're just the person I wanted to talk to."

"Oh? Why's that? Not that I'm surprised, considering my charming wit and all," I said, beginning to make him a plate despite his overall lack of tact. He chuckled at this and nodded.

"True, I suppose that's probably how Itachi sees it, anyway," Kisame said. I paused at the mention of his name. Truth be told, my stomach had been in knots from the moment I woke up. Nightmares aside, as that wasn't the only thing eating at me.

"So you want to talk to me about Itachi…" I realized aloud.

"Well he's not much of a talker, if you haven't noticed, so I figure I ought to step in and do some of it for him."

"I'm not so sure he'd like that," I said, apprehensive but secretly dying to hear anything he'd have to say on the matter. It was obvious that Kisame and Itachi were close, so if anyone had any insight into that brooding noggin' of his, it'd be Kisame.

"Heh, look, I'm doing him a favor. Itachi is good at a lot of things but talking to women is not one of them."

"He seems fairly proficient to me…" I said, recalling all the times he expertly challenged me by way of banter and that endearing, quiet smile of his on the occasions I'd been lucky enough to tease it out of him.

Kisame sighed and conceded. "Fine, let me rephrase that, he's alright at talking to you , BUT… and it's a big 'but'…heh... only because you're good at talking to him. Trust me when I say he's not typically a suave guy with the ladies, pretty damn awkward actually. Tends to scare them, I think." He said with a sniff.

I thought back to my first interactions with Itachi, which seemed like eons ago by the way, and visibly cringed at how scarily intimidating I thought he was in the beginning. Now he was just regular intimidating.

My, how things have changed.

"I'm not so sure that I'm good at talking to him, though I certainly like to… I suppose I can see what you're saying though…" I agreed, somewhat, as I humorously imagined Itachi participating in a few rounds of speed dating rather unsuccessfully.

"Look, I'm just gonna come out and say it, the man's been eye-fucking you for weeks now… well, not that he's the only one, but that's besides the point."

"Kisame!" I hissed, my face heating up like a lobster in a pot.

Well that was a hard left turn down Pervert Alley. Thanks for the ride, Kisame.

"What? It's true." He said casually. No big dealio.

"It most certainly is not ." I was beginning to think I was morphing into an adder of sorts since I couldn't seem to speak without hissing anymore. "It would never be like that, you guys are all… all... " I found myself stumbling with hesitation, not sure how much I wanted to divulge my girlish insecurities to Kisame.

"Go on, spit it out. What are we?" He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the whole thing. I bit my lip and stared at him for a moment in contemplation. "Come on , I know you've been stuck in this place with a bunch of testosterone-ridden jocks, so let's have some girl talk." He wiggled in his seat a bit and rested his chin on his finger-laced hands, looking at me with anticipation.

"Pretty sure that term would inherently require you to be a girl for it to be relevant here," I pointed out flatly.

"You've got a wild imagination, put it to use."

I looked him up and down with a laughing scoff. "Not even my imagination is wild enough for that, my dear."

I was lying of course, but the image of Kisame as a woman actually made it more difficult to talk to him about these things. Femme Kisame was scary and she looked like she would suplex me at any given moment.

"Look, I'm trying to help you out here, kid, and if you don't think I'm helping you, trust that I'm helping Itachi at the very least." I could tell he was becoming a bit exhausted by me.

Serves him right. I'll exhaust him all darn day… wait, that didn't come out right...

I conceded with a sigh, if it would help Itachi...

"Ugh, fine. You guys are all sort of... amazing? Like you're all some combination of smart, powerful, attractive, talented…"

"Ooh I like this, keep going."

I glared at him and continued with a cock of my head. "Stubborn, psychotic, emotionally-illiterate, immature-"

"Alright, I get it, I get it…" He laughed quietly and I recalled we were the only ones up and should make it a point to stay quiet if we wanted our conversation to remain private. "So what's your point, exactly?"

"My point is that you guys are all these things and then there's me . There's not a single reason for a single one of you to be eye- whatevering me. I'm not powerful or particularly knowledgeable, not about anything that matters anyway, and I'm not exactly much of a physical specimen… definitely not compared to any kunoichi." I blew a raspberry through a sigh as I squeezed the softness of my tummy and continued racking up the list in my head.

Not to mention clumsy, insecure, naive, danger-prone, oh and there's that random section of hair that's curlier than the rest.

Kisame deadpanned, his palm to his face and head shaking. "This is even worse than I thought."

"What?"

"Has anyone ever told you you're a fucking idiot?" He blurted out.

"I'm sure Hidan has a few times, and look, now you're on the scoreboard too. How's it feel to be in the same category as him?" I asked curtly with a click of my tongue.

"Ugh, God, there are too many things to address here..." he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "For starters, on the topic of Hidan… just stay away from that guy. You want to talk about a scoreboard? He's just looking to add you to his. Also, the word unstable comes to mind."

"You don't need to worry about Hidan, he just tries to get a rise out of me, it's not like he's capable of genuine interest." Kisame just stared wordlessly, his eyes somehow able to say, "you really are a fucking idiot", all on their own.

Okay rude… but also like, a little impressive.

"Besides," I continued, "even if that were the case, what reason do I have to believe the same isn't true of Itachi?" Just saying it out loud was painful, the thought alone even, but that was the answer I was really after.

Kisame stifled a laugh at that. "Oh Izumi, sweet, naive Izumi… you really are in the dark. Thank God you have me, right?"

I rolled my eyes, waiting for him to finish his little spiel. "Enlighten me, Kisame-sama."

"Hey, I like that. Kisame-sama . That's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?" He looked thoughtfully at the ceiling, tapping his index against his chin. I didn't want to know what he was fantasizing about.

"Focus, please," I steered him back on track, snapping my fingers. I was beginning to feel better about how easily distracted I thought I was.

"So, full disclosure, there isn't much of a dating scene when you're in the Akatsuki, as I'm sure you've realized," Kisame said.

I nodded in understanding.

"Some of us need a little… well, I'll call it stress relief , from time to time. A very specific kind of relief. You get what I'm saying?"

He received a hearty eye roll coupled with a blush from me. "Yes… I get it."

"Just checking… with anyone else I'd assume they'd follow but God you're thick sometimes."

"You had a point, I'm sure." I huffed.

"Oh yeah, I did have one of those, thanks Izumi." He grinned. "The point is that sometimes… some of us partake in certain activities in seedy places… no pun intended. Heh. I'll have you know, much to my disappointment I'll add, Itachi is not typically one of those people. That being said, I seriously doubt he's trying to put a notch in his bedpost."

I furrowed my brow at this. "Really? He seemed so… confident?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he knows his way around the kitchen, so to speak… and as you may very well know by now."

"I don't," I interrupted him quickly.

"Sorry to hear that. Poor guy is probably pent up as hell, the last time he did anything must have been at least… God I can't even remember…" He scratched his head. "Maybe it was when we wer-"

"Oh my lord you can spare me the details!" I was back to hissing.

"Fine," he said with a lazy smile. "How about I get back to my original point?"

"That would be delightful, Kisame."

"Wouldn't it? Alright, so here's what's going to happen... Itachi just can't get out of his own damn way, the man literally will not allow himself happiness. Tortured soul and all that. So what he will do is try to push you away at some point if he starts feeling too warm and fuzzy. My advice to you is don't let him ." Kisame, while still half-joking, as was his permanent state of existence, took on a slightly more serious demeanor which I felt gave some weight to what he was saying.

"A. I think you're giving me a lot of credit for the insinuation that I would even be able to provide said 'warm and fuzzies'...and B. Don't let him? I don't even know how I'd go about that. Itachi does what he wants."

"A. No he fucking doesn't if you guys really haven't… ya know … and B.I don't know kid, use some of that charming wit of yours."

I simultaneously grunted and sighed at his comments which made for a very interesting noise.

"You'll figure it out," he assured.

"Ugh… is it really that obvious? How I feel about him?" I asked, fidgeting with my sleeve.

He choked on a laugh. "Well, no more obvious than he is. I may be a little more astute in my observations though, considering I saw you two rubbing your hot little bodies against each other last night."

"Oh my God KISAME!" I covered my face and spun away from him in a fettered whirl.

He produced an annoyingly loud guffaw that ended in a belch, paying me no mind. "Welp, thanks for breakfast, Izumi. Say good morning to Itachi for me, I'll be out in the training yard. Nice girl-talkin' to ya."

"Kisame, wait," I called out before he could make it out the doorway.

"Hm?" Glanced back over his shoulder.

"Why did you tell me all this? What do you get out of it?" I asked with a skeptical undertone.

He smiled with a shrug. "Well you know, it was always my dream to be a matchmaker growing up."

"You're a biscuit-head," I deadpanned.

"Because I wanna get my wingman foot in the door before Sasori does?" he tried again.

"Oh, so now we're worried about Deidara, are we?" I asked.

"He's too young for you."

"He's a year older than me," I corrected.

"Yeah, but men are five years behind women as far as maturity goes so he's basically fourteen. Not only is that science but it's gross, Izumi. You don't want to be a pedophile, do you?"

"You're the gross one." I rolled my eyes, hoping it'd hide my amusement.

"You love it," he said, turning to leave with a wave of his hand. I scoffed and he shot me a wide grin before finally leaving.

Maybe I do, what of it?

"Speak of the devil!" I heard a very muted Kisame shout from down the hall. Soon after that Deidara appeared in the kitchen.

"You talkin' about me?" he asked proudly, strolling into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets.

"Well you're certainly no angel," I said, pursing my lips.

"Oh I'm sure he could be, for you." Sasori followed in just behind Deidara. "Couldn't you see him with a halo over that blond hair?" He said, lazily drawing an imaginary ring above Deidara's head in passing before taking a seat and beginning a sudoku.

Deidara grinned and innocently posed his fingers beneath his chin, blinking at me. Yes, he was very cute and yes, I was suddenly very aware of Sasori's "wingman" status. Life was easier when I was oblivious to these things…

Deidara dropped the act quickly as he looked at me for longer than 2 seconds. "Holy freakin' bags , what did you do with Izumi's eyes?" He questioned incredulously, pushing into my space and grabbing my face to get a better look.

"Dei!" I squealed, my voice made odd from having my cheeks pushed together, giving me a wretched case of fish lips .

"Uh-oh, don't let Kisame see her like that, he might realize she's his type," Sasori commented dryly from the table. Deidara barely even tried biting back his laughter at whatever fishy face I had going on. I eventually stopped fighting to pull away, instead reaching out and plucking up two chunks of hair atop his head.

"Halo? Um no, I definitely see you with horns," I said through my squished mouth, regarding him thoughtfully as I imagined it. He released me with a playful grin.

"Yeah, you could say I have a little devil in me." He said prouder yet, arms behind his head.

"Play your cards right and you could have a little devil in you too, Izumi," Sasori said quietly from the corner with a devious little edge, glancing up at me from his Sudoku.

"Hey!" Deidara and I yelled at the same time, though for very different reasons. Deidara was displeased with his partner's choice of the word "little", whereas I was displeased with the entire sentence. Sasori chuckled softly to himself and plotted a number in his puzzle.

"You guys made it too easy…" He said with a shrug and another number on the board. Deidara and Sasori bickered over something regarding ship sizes and ocean movements over breakfast and I milled about, positively oozing nervous energy as I mechanically stirred rice in a pan that had long since been done cooking, my thoughts elsewhere. Each minute that passed without Itachi entering the door set me on edge even more.

"Something wrong, Izumi?" Sasori asked, observant as ever.

"Hm? Oh, no I'm fine…" I chewed my lip, deciding against my better judgement to ask what had been on my mind. "Say, have either of you seen Itachi around this morning?"

"Tch, no." Deidara scowled with a mouthful of rice.

"I think he went straight out to the training grounds this morning," Sasori said absently without looking up. Another number.

Of course he did. He knew that's one place you wouldn't be.

Notes:

OooooOOoooH dramaaaaa ;) Kisame is a good lil wingman tho. Thanks for reading y'all!

Chapter 25: Just Beachy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The day dragged on as my little lizard brain seemed to be able to focus on nothing other than replaying the events of the previous night with Itachi. My feelings ranged anywhere from a tingling warmth seated precisely between my legs to a nagging urge to cry at the fact that, as far as I was concerned, he was avoiding me.

Get a grip, Izumi, not like y'all are together. He doesn't owe you attention.

True… I tried my darndest to busy myself with cleaning. In no time at all the kitchen and common room positively sparkled and I was officially on a kick, deciding to continue it by polishing all of the kunai and various shinobi tools in the weapons chamber.

Better get employee of the month for this…

On my way through the winding, dim halls of the complex, I found the nagging feeling I'd been grappling with was replaced by another, more insidious one.

Deja vu.

It was just like that time I had to seek refuge in Hidan's room. That feeling of being watched, followed, chased even. I kept glancing over my shoulder, just catching the edge of a shadow around the corner but not quite, not definitively. It was only just enough to make me genuinely question my sanity.

My walk became brisk before graduating to a trot and from there, a floundering run, as I seemed incapable of any other type. I was almost to the weapons chamber and I wanted nothing more than to be surrounded by four walls, the weapons inside were icing on the cake.

As I flew into the room and slammed the door behind me, I snuck one last peek over my shoulder. Suddenly nothingness and paranoia sounded just peachy. I only saw him for a millisecond and I only saw a sliver of him... but I swore it was him. That same leather-skinned subordinate I'd seen last time. I felt it in my gut.

We can't rule out indigestion just yet...

I attempted to ignore the baby hairs on the back of my neck pricking to attention as I made haste in shoving a chair beneath the door handle.

"That oughta do it…" I murmured to myself, taking a step back to inspect my handy work, hands on my hips.

And by 'it' you mean make yourself feel better by means of placebo effect? That chair isn't worth a hill of beans to a shinobi.

I resented that. I happened to like my placebo chair quite a bit, though I had to admit, I had a point… I couldn't stop with just the chair. Frazzled as all heck but trying to remain calm and channel my inner Itachi, I skipped over to a weapons chest and grabbed a kunai...hmm make that two, before backing into the front corner and preparing to fling it at anyone that came through that door.

My breathing was still at an uptick from the entire minutes of vigorous exercise and I noticed for the first time the tremor in my hands as they held tight to the foreign blade. I waited and waited, the door handle remaining stalwart and steady. Was I really just imagining things again? I seriously needed to figure out what was causing this paranoia every time I dared to wander the halls alone.

What you need is a therapist.

I scoffed. Probably not wrong though.

Just as I started to convince myself to settle down, my heart seized, the door handle turning until it hit against the chair propped beneath. It jiggled again, harder and faster, increasingly becoming more and more aggressive. I could hear a deep voice grumbling and grunting with effort from the other side of the door. With my stomach residing uncomfortably in my throat, I pulled a kunai back, over my shoulder.

Ready…

A massively loud thud crashed against the door producing a shower of splintering wood.

Aim...

A hulking figure began pushing into the room, kicking the chair over with ease.

Oh lord, fire!

I clenched my eyes shut and whipped the kunai straight ahead as hard as I could. The clink of metal on metal chimed musically, punctuated by a clatter against stonework floor. When I didn't hear anything else, I dared to crack one eye open to reveal a very blurry, very irritated Kisame looking straight at me, his headband angled down.

"May I ask what the fuck you're up to, Izumi?" he deadpanned.

"Kisame!" I cried out in relief. "Oh, I can't tell you how happy I am to see you! What are you doing here?" I breathed out in a sigh and folded over with my hands on my knees.

"God, I'd hate to see how you greet people you're not happy to see," he said, wide-eyed and pretending to check his headband for a new dent. As if. "A bunch of us are training outside and I just came in to grab some more kunai... Didn't realize I'd still be training here too." He raised a brow.

"I'm sorry?" I winced with an awkward shrugging motion.

He snatched the kunai off the ground and put his hand out in waiting and I realized he wanted the one I was still holding. I quickly handed it over with a flush, feeling guilty as all heck.

"I really am sorry, Kisame, are you okay?" I asked, stretching my hands up to take his face in them, turning his cheeks side to side to give a good inspection.

"I don't know, Izumi… I'm pretty shaken up. That's the first time anyone's thrown a kunai at me… and with such force too," he said, not able to keep a straight face through the whole thing.

"Okay, okay. You know what? I was feeling bad but now I'm not so sure," I scolded, pushing his face away and trying to hide my smirk.

"So, you gonna tell me what inspired such a feat of agility and skill? Speaking of which, you know you hit me with the blunt end, right?"

"Well… I didn't want to hurt you, obviously ." Eye rolls for days.

He gave me a look.

"Okay, fine. It sounds dumb, but… I thought one of the subordinates was following me and I thought you were him…?" I stared at the floor and scuffed at it with my foot.

"What? Which one?" he asked, disbelieving and folding his arms.

"Well I'm not exactly on a first name basis," I muttered before offering a description of the man, complete with impressions.

"Pfffft," he let out a snorting laugh. "Eichi? Nah, he's the man. He's been with us since the beginning. If he wasn't trustworthy, we would have found out by now."

I let out a frustrated huff. That was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that he was a total creep and now he was going to be totally fired.

"You know what I think?" Kisame asked thoughtfully. "I think you need to relax. You've been working hard, up all day and night… cooking," he winked before continuing on, "you're clearly light on sleep, plus you had a rough mission last time… or so I heard."

So much for guys not being gossipy.

"Despite your comment about cooking ," I gave him a pointed glare, "maybe you're right…" I admitted with a sigh, rubbing my eyes.

"Come on, go put on a swimsuit and grab a towel. I'll set you up in a nice sandy spot by the river at the training grounds and I'll try real hard not to splash you... No promises though." He grinned and I couldn't help but return it.

"Sounds great, only problem is that Pain didn't exactly prioritize my swimwear options. Can you believe it?"

"Eh, it's fine, we'll figure something out." At least Kisame seemed confident.

We did, indeed, figure something out. I just wasn't too sure about it. I stood in front of him, looking down at myself with a lovely shade of pink scalding my cheeks.

"Kisame, this is just underwear and one of Deidara's crop tops…"

"Yes, which covers more than a regular bathing suit would. I'm having a hard time seeing the problem here, Iz," Kisame whined impatiently. He'd been trying to get me out the door for 15 minutes.

He's not wrong?

I reluctantly caved in after making sure Pain wouldn't be there, as all my lovely bruises would be proudly on display sans the cloak and full body coverings. I clutched the towel and book against me and hesitantly followed Kisame out.

"Oh here, I almost forgot." Kisame pulled a pair of ridiculous, triangle-lensed sunglasses out of his swim trunks pocket and stuck them on my face before donning a matching pair of his own.

"Hell yeah, am I right?" He looked at me, holding out his fist. Not even bothering to deprive him of a laugh, I snorted out a loud one and met him with a fist bump as we made our way through a large clearing to the river.

"God, we're cool," I said.

"Yep. That must be why everyone's staring," Kisame agreed with a grin. I hadn't noticed, but looking around the edge of the woods, most of the guys could be spotted. Some training solo, some sparring, though almost all had stopped to look as we paraded over to the beachy area and laid out some towels.

I had to give Kisame credit, it really was quite the cute little area. A bend in the river where the current slowed to a lazy, meandering pace, the water clear enough to see the bottom which declined steadily so you could easily stand or actually swim depending on how deep you waded in.

"Hey! What are you guys doing, yeah?" Deidara shouted, wasting no time as he jogged over sporting a grin, his blond ponytail bouncing adorably with every bound.

Kisame cupped a hand by his mouth and yelled back. "Found the little one running around with scissors unsupervised. Figured I'd dump her in the sandbox for a while, keep her occupied."

"Hey!" I hissed, smacking him in the stomach in a sorry attempt to scold him. I immediately tore my hand back to cradle it against myself, rubbing it in a consoling way. "Um, excuse you. Are you made of bricks or something?!" I asked incredulously which earned me a very wide grin from Kisame.

"Geez, warn a girl next time…" I complained, shaking the feeling back into my fingers.

He choked on a laugh. "Oh, sure. Let's try this one…" he cleared his throat, "No, Izumi, please don't put your soft, feminine hands on my abs, they're just too hard," he warned with mock concern, though his amusement came through loud and clear.

"Alright, alright, I get it…" I said dryly, opting for just a dirty look. I finished laying the towel out on the sand and threw my book down on it as Deidara finally reached us.

"Hey, my eyes are up here, bud," Kisame tutted as he followed Deidara's gaze to my chest.

"I'm sure he just recognizes his shirt, Kisame," I quickly stepped in. "Sorry, Dei. I didn't have anything, I hope this is okay," I said, chewing my lip, feeling nervous about his gaze on me so intently.

"Yeah," he said absently, his eyes travelling over me, "suppose I'll learn to live with it."

"That's very big of you, Deidara," Sasori interjected, emphasis on big to make up for his comment that morning I'm sure. He strode over and took a seat beside me.

"What can I say, I'm a nice guy," Deidara agreed. Kisame scoffed.

"Practically a saint, well on your way to angel status, at least," Sasori added.

"Hey, Deidara!" Hidan's booming voice cut through the conversation from above as his scythe stuck into a giant tree nearby, "I get the shirt, but why is Izumi wearing your panties too?" He touched down onto the scythe's handle, flipping down to land on his feet with ease and sauntering over with that cocky smile of his.

"Nice entrance," I appraised, genuinely impressed and wanting to quickly sidestep any comments regarding my panties as I was already feeling a bit weird about it. He pushed right past Deidara who was scowling heartily and working up a rebuke, moving promptly into my space, his lips a breath away from my ear and his hand brazenly resting on my hip.

"Thanks, you know, I wouldn't mind seeing yours though?" he murmured and despite not being able to see his face, I could hear his smile and it was broad.

I pulled back and stared at him for a moment, mouthing the words "see my entrance?" with a quizzical pull of my brows. Turning his comment over in my head, I decided that I did, indeed, understand the joke, and no, it was not funny.

My palm found itself against his cheek with a resounding and, more importantly, satisfying crack. Well that just about put everyone in an uproar, as I was not typically one for violence and they likely expected him to kill me outright for such a transgression. They didn't know like I did, that he not-so-secretly liked it.

Hidan grinned and managed to get out, "so is that a no… or?" but was immediately torn backwards by a hand loosely connected to his partner by a swath of long black tendrils. Deidara's hands were voraciously munching on clay and Sasori had already ejected some projectiles at Hidan which left him bleeding pretty good.

"Come onnn, it was a joke," Hidan whined, throwing me a wink before spitting out some blood. He was so not sorry, but I convinced them to let him go after getting him to promise he'd be on his best behavior, despite knowing that didn't really mean much.

Kisame was floating casually in the water and even Zetsu was apparently present. I noticed his head hiding beneath a lily pad with a frog on top, his nostrils just above the water line. Everyone steadily filtered into the river and nagged at me to come in with claims of it being "not that cold", which wasn't the greatest selling point.

Everyone but Itachi, of course. He was the only person still training.

And by training you mean 'avoiding you', right?

Kisame must have noticed too.

"Hey, Uchiha," he shouted as he clambered out of the water and up a small cliff face. Itachi looked over in response. "Get in, loser," Kisame yelled during his ferocious cannonball which nearly reached even me. I shot him a warning look and he waved it off with a toothy grin.

Laying on my back and pretending to read my book, I eyed Itachi hesitating in the distance before eventually making his way over. All he needed was a little nudge I guess…

Noted.

"Looks like we'll need to get you a bathing suit," he said, scratching his head as stood looking me over.

"You don't like this? I heard it's all the rage in… somewhere fancy," I retorted with an air of haughtiness.

"I never said I didn't like it."

"It was implied."

"In error then, and I sincerely apologize, as I do quite like it," he said quietly with a glance around. The rest of the guys were being idiots, wrestling and currently taking bets on how long Hidan could last underwater before he drowned to death. Itachi sat beside me and leaned over slightly, eyeing the bruises still present around my hips.

"Probably a good thing I didn't know about these last night…" he murmured. "Or should I be offended that you didn't tell me…?"

"I wasn't allowed to speak, if you'll recall."

The corners of his lips quirks. "I do remember that, now that you mention it."

I was screaming on the inside. So it did happen. It wasn't a dream. He was actually acknowledging it to my big, dumb, gawking face.

"Maybe next time," I mused, trying to keep my head but throwing a line out to see if he'd bite. After a moment of silence I became hyper aware of him shifting uncomfortably and his eyes averting to the suddenly extremely interesting sand beside him.

"Listen, Izumi," he began wearily as he idly grabbed up a handful of sand and let it pour out of his fist like an hourglass.

Oh no.

"I… last night… I apologize. I shouldn't have done that." He stared at the streaming sand beginning to mound up on the ground.

I regarded him silently for a moment, trying desperately to process this sudden mood shift. My heart sank at his regretful timbre and I did all I could to keep my voice even.

"Did I... do something wrong?" I asked quietly, and despite my efforts, it still came out like a timid child.

"No, no you didn't do anything wrong," he assured quickly and paused to continue. "I just… it was inappropriate of me. I should have more control. I am sorry, Izumi."

More control? Pretty sure he had all the control...

My mind reeled and went back through my conversation with Kisame from that morning. This must have been what he was talking about, Itachi being a grizzled veteran of pushing people away and whatnot. According to Kisame, it wasn't something I shouldn't allow.

How the heck…? Itachi doesn't happen to come with instructions, does he?

I sat up and rested my cheek on my knees to look at him. "Well I'm not," I said coolly. He slowly turned to look at me with the slightest of furrowed brows, almost like he was… confused? Surprised? Disbelieving? He was hard to pin down as always. He looked like he wanted to say something, but-

"Alright, Izumi." Hidan's voice boomed from behind. "It's fanclub time."

I glanced over my shoulder to see a shirtless, dripping wet Hidan approaching in only his boxers, hand combing his hair back. I inadvertently swallowed.

"You know what that means, right?" he asked with a devilish smirk.

"No. Oh no, no Hidan, don't you dare," I warned sternly with my index finger out and everything, clapping my book shut and scooting away from him.

"Oh yes, I do dare. Izumi is getting picked the fuck up, we goin' for our fucking swimming badge today!" he shouted wildly followed by some obnoxious attempts at airhorn noises, drawing a couple cheers from those in the water.

Despite my every attempt to resist, I soon found myself draped over Hidan's shoulder, subsequently giving everyone a lovely view of my ass.

Greeeeeat.

"Hidan!" I cried, slapping the bare skin of his back mercilessly.

"A little lower, sweetheart," he purred over his shoulder.

"Fine, you asked for it…" I challenged back, my tongue peeking out with effort, winding my hand up as far as it could go before bringing it down on his ass with a resounding smack. Even my own palm stung from the force and I felt his butt cheeks clench on contact which put a little smirk on my face.

Geez, why can't you slap that hard when it comes to his face?

"Not fucking bad…" he praised with an audible grin. "My turn."

Oh, I so should have seen that coming.

"Hidan, don't yo-" I let out a surprised squeal as his hand stung against my partially exposed ass which didn't seem fair to me, considering his was fully covered. Not only that but he didn't pull away, instead leaving his huge hand to grab my right cheek with a squeezing, jiggling shake. Before I could protest, and to be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to as the odd sensation didn't feel all that terrible, I was thrown from his shoulder.

Not that cold?!

The water was freezing as it enveloped me without warning. I burst up to the surface looking like a drowned rat and cursing Hidan's name through chattering teeth.

So much for his best behavior...

Sadly, I was fairly certain that was his best.

"Oh come now, Izumi. It's not that bad," Sasori said.

I shot him a glare. "You're a puppet. Do you even feel temperature?"

"No." He smiled.

I gave him a sideways look as I pushed the hair out of my face. Hidan returned to the water with a belly flop, the glutton for pain that he was, and I quickly waded away from him towards the shallow area by the bank, making sure the loose crop top stayed down as I noticed with a start that it had a tendency to float upwards.

Pushing against the lazy current I made my way over to Kisame and Deidara, who were debating the practicality of water bombs. Itachi was slowly wading in to stand beside Kisame. He seemed largely unaffected by the temperature, reminding me once more that I was a big baby.

"How are you guys not freezing?" I asked, jaw chattering, as I tied my hair up.

Deidara let out an odd sort of choking cough which prompted Itachi to speak up rather abruptly. "Yes, Izumi, we can see that you're very cold. Perhaps you would be better off staying mostly submerged to get used to it." He was strangely pointed and somewhat averting his gaze, though not very well. Kisame was stifling a laugh and Deidara's eyes glazed over like he zoned out on me.

"I think I'll ease into it, thanks," I said slowly, eyeing the three suspiciously.

Itachi continued to stare pointedly at me, his throat producing a frustrated little sigh through his clenched jaw. Kisame was coming undone with laughter and Deidara looked to have fallen into a coma while standing, a weird little smile on his face.

"If there's a joke here, I don't get it," I said impatiently. I didn't think it was possible for Kisame to lose his beans anymore than he already had, but he continued to amaze me.

Itachi moved towards me in a swift motion, blocking my small form from the view of the other two which immediately elicited booing from Kisame.

"You're impossible, do you know that?" he asked, quietly exasperated. I looked up at him with big eyes, waiting for an explanation and he glanced down for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh, which I had recently come to realize was a gesture he made when trying to maintain some semblance of control, especially when faced with certain temptations.

The blood rose beneath the skin of my cheeks quickly as my eyes shot down to examine myself, I thought I'd been very careful to avoid a nip slip.

"Izumi… the fabric of that shirt is clinging to you in a very interesting way… and we're all painfully aware of how cold you are…" Itachi's voice came out even but strained as I stared down at myself and realized, not without horror, that the fabric of the shirt was very thin and clingy indeed and yes, interesting was a word for it.

Holy biscuits, the girls are at attention.

I bit my lip which did little to hold in my embarrassed groan and quickly dipped low into the water, crossing my hands over my chest.

"Boo, party foul! Free the nipple!" Kisame called out from behind Itachi, spitting water at the back of his head.

I decided to keep sinking down until I was fully submerged. It was nice underwater, besides the cold of course, which I was admittedly getting used to. No one was slapping my ass or telling me I'd been mercilessly flaunting my modest rack around.

You'll have to breathe eventually.

Oh, yeah. There was that.

I eventually rose back up to my neck.

"Fine, you're right, it's better when I'm all the way in the water…" I admitted begrudgingly, slicking my hair back. Itachi sank down as well and moved over to the large, submerged rock shelf in a cute little alcove, perfect for sitting while staying mostly underwater.

"Hey, what're you, twelve? Show's over dude," I could hear Kisame in the background trying to jostle Deidara out of his stupor as I moved to sit by Itachi.

Notes:

I wanted a cute beach day so DAMMNIT WE DID A CUTE BEACH DAY. So, how mad would y'all be if Izumi ended up with Kisame? lmaooo jk jk... but I do love him

Chapter 26: Finally Some Proper Training

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"I suppose I owe you a thank you and an apology," I said, giving him a sideways glance. He had a kind of orangish-pink hue painting his features as the sun was dipping below the horizon and I couldn't stop looking at him in that light.

"I'll accept your thanks, though I'm not sure what the apology would be for." He met my gaze and seemed to be just as intent on staring at me, though I'm sure I didn't look nearly as enchanting and other-worldly.

"For being so hopelessly thick, or as you would put it, 'impossible'," I admitted with a small smile.

"Hm," he seemed to regard me thoughtfully before finally speaking. "Impossible, yes. Hopeless? No. You can keep your apology, I wasn't all too bothered by it."

"Coulda have fooled me."

"Well, had it been just you and me, perhaps I wouldn't have said anything at all," he mused quietly.

Oh so he just doesn't like other people looking… interesting.

"Consider my lesson learned. From now on, only my head stays above the water," I said with a playful splash in his direction.

"She vows such a thing and then immediately brings her hands out of the water, and to assault me no less. Perhaps she is hopeless after all," he said with his usual stoicism. Had I not known him, I may have thought he was being serious, but recognizing that he was teasing me pushed me to chase after the rare and elusive Itachi smile.

I scoffed. "Fine. I don't even need my hands to splash you."

He looked at me in waiting, patient as ever.

I glared hard at the water between us, willing it to pop up in a splash. It was easy enough to make ripples, but it took a fair bit of concentration for anything more.

"Hah!" I cried triumphantly as the water's surface broke, shooting some droplets to land on Itachi's exposed shoulder.

Despite clearly being impressed with myself, he didn't seem to share in the feeling, instead looking uneasy about it. I saw it before I felt it, a red drop hitting the water, trailing down from my nose.

"Ugh, sorry, I don't know why that happens. I know it's gross," I murmured quickly, moving to wipe it.

"This happens often?" Itachi asked, idly reaching over and brushing his thumb across my lip and beneath my nose.

"Just when I try to do anything with my abilities…" I said with a guilty shrug, feeling like I was somehow in trouble.

"Do it again," Itachi commanded, sharingan flashing to life in his eyes. They looked brilliant and gleaming beneath the fiery light of the sunset and I took a moment to comprehend what he said, distracted by all the pretty lights and speckled colors reflecting in his irises.

Far be it for me to deny the man anything he asked for. I clenched my jaw once more and narrowed my eyes in concentration at the rippling water, eventually producing another splash. A slightly bigger one, might I add. Regardless of how drained it made me, Itachi's thumb brushing across my lips afterwards was a reward well worth the discomfort.

"You're doing it all wrong, that's why this is happening," he said, washing the blood off casually.

"Well color me shocked, considering all my formal training," I snarked.

"You're about to get some. Sit up straight," he said, appraising my posture with a frown.

"Hey!" Kisame shouted from the beach. "You guys coming in?"

I hadn't noticed all the commotion died down at one point or another. Everyone besides Itachi and I were toweling off and heading back towards base.

"We'll be right there, just doing some training!" I shouted back, worried that if given the chance, Itachi may have just agreed to turn in right then and there.

"How's my posture?" I asked, turning back to Itachi and sitting very rigidly with my shoulders back, a deadly serious look taking over my expression to the point of becoming a caricature. He wore a certain look of contentment that softened his already elegant features and I couldn't help but be stupidly endeared to him.

I found my body tensing up as he leaned over, hands gripping my waist and swiftly pulling me through the water to sit between his splayed legs with my back against his chest.

"Fairly good," he answered, his hands pulling my shoulders back so I was flush with him.

Yes, yes it is.

"So… your body is filled with a network which contains all of the chakra flowing through every part of you," he began in a very adorable professional voice, his fingers trailing down my arms, nails grazing across the tops of my fingers spread against my thighs before his hands came to unfurl and rest atop mine.

"However, just because you have chakra... in your hands, for example..." His fingers tapped against mine, "...doesn't mean that's where you gather the chakra."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice the slightest bit unsteady as I realized the front of my loose crop top had floated up, and with Itachi holding my hands against my legs, there wasn't much I could do about it. Whatever embarrassment I may have felt, it was nowhere near as powerful as the weirdly intoxicating feeling of knowing I was exposed as I sat there with my body flush against his, even if he wasn't aware.

Keep your head, Izumi…

The air had always felt alive around him, I had no explanation for it, but I quickly found out things were no different in the water. Whatever magnetic force I constantly felt pulling me towards Itachi was ever-present and I wondered… I hoped, perhaps beyond reason, that he felt it too. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"You gather chakra in your core," he explained, pulling one hand free to hold against my stomach instead, his fingers curling in and dimpling against my soft belly. I breathed again.

My, isn't he getting precariously close to your scantily clad chest?

"Right here. This is where you want to focus on gathering your chakra," he whispered, giving another squeeze and I nearly lost my breath at the feeling of his powerful hands on me. "Once it's gathered here, you send it where it needs to go. Your problem is that you've been gathering it where it needs to end up, not where it needs to start."

"I think I understand," I said, absently enjoying the warmth of his skin while being surrounded by the coolness of the water. The sun had finally retreated beyond the horizon, leaving behind a hazy welcome for the onset of night, fireflies beginning to blink and float in the depths of the surrounding forest and the crickets started in on their ode to twilight. I felt like I was in a dream.

"Do it again then… and I do not want to see any blood," Itachi commanded in a whisper.

"That should be easy, considering you can't see my face, Mr. Behind-Me," I said, thinking I was clever enough.

The hand still on mine moved promptly to the back of my head, fingers twisting around and grasping my messy ponytail. The breath hitched in my throat as I felt him shift and tug my hair back, my spine forced into an unbalanced arch only supported by him.

"Oh?" he said, looking down at me with those scarlet eyes. They paralyzed me as I stared up at him, my jaw hanging open and a few shaky breaths pushing through. His gaze flitted from my face to the water, his eyebrows coming together in something that resembled frustration? No, that wasn't quite it.

"Izumi… please tell me this black fabric floating up the water's surface is not your shirt…"

"It's not my shirt." I said quietly, almost mechanically, still staring up at him, unblinking. He gave me a disapproving look as if to question why I was lying to him. "I only did as you asked," I defended with a pout.

There was that smile I worked so hard for.

"Fair enough… and how long has it been like that?" he questioned further. The pressure of his hand tugging at my hair, forcefully craning my neck back to look up at him, it was mounting, and not in an unpleasant way.

"A while…" I admitted, sinking deeper into the feeling of his grip holding me in such a vulnerable position. My neck and face fully exposed to him had my heart rate climbing.

He sighed with a close of his eyes, gently releasing his grip on my hair, smoothing his hand over it several times before pushing me back up into position.

"It can't be helped," he murmured, keeping us on track. So serious. "Here's what I want you to do," he began, pulling my shoulders against him once more to fix my posture yet again. "Take your arms and hold them out in front of you." His hands pushed up against my elbows to lift and straighten them out.

"And then?"

"And then you gather chakra in your core."

"My core?" I knew very well what my freaking core was, but I couldn't stop myself from inviting him to put his hands on me again. To my delight, the invitation was well received.

Well aren't we the little harlot tonight?

"Yes, right here." His hands left my elbows and my heart skipped a beat at the feel of his fingers sprawling across the smooth skin of my belly. It would have been more than enough just to feel the pressure of his hands against me, but I felt myself beginning to unravel at how his fingers continued to move and rub against my skin in gentle patterns. I couldn't tell if it was in my head or not, but almost undetectably it seemed like those fingers were steadily rising up toward my ribcage.

I tried my best to hold back a shuddering breath.

"Gather it, then release it forward," he directed. "I want you to produce a wave at least three meters high."

I balked. "Three meters?!"

"Yes. We're not leaving until you do it."

I swallowed hard as I steeled myself to rise to the occasion. "Challenge accepted, Itachi-sensei." I murmured, earning me a snorting puff from Itachi.

Closing my eyes and focusing on gathering energy in my core, I found myself having quite a hard time with the whole concentration thing. Itachi's fingers squeezing against my ribcage and the tingling sensation lighting up every nerve beneath his touch were the most obvious culprit.

"Well?" he asked after a few long moments of nothingness, though I was positive he could feel the uptick in my breathing.

"I'm…I'm having a hard time focusing my chakra…" I admitted weakly with a small shiver as his hands travelled up just a hair higher. They were so absurdly close to the base of my breasts that I couldn't seem to think about anything else.

"Try again. Breathe in and out slowly and release your chakra on the out," he encouraged with a gentle scrape of his nails against my ribs. I nodded shakily and took a deep breath in, holding it there, focusing on the heat coiling deep within my abdomen. There was a split second where I felt like I could visualize my energy there, swirling and knotting tighter and tighter. I grabbed onto that feeling and on the out, pushed it to my fingertips with a heady grunt. A wave, maybe a good meter and a half tall came rushing out of me, disturbing the lazy waters and traveling quite a ways before falling back into rhythm with the rest of the current.

I beamed and let out a disbelieving snort of a laugh, whipping my head around and craning it back to look at him.

"Did you see?!" I exclaimed through another laugh, unable to contain my excitement. While it was difficult to grab ahold of the chakra, it didn't hurt , not like it always had before. I couldn't stop smiling, it was the first time I felt like I had a modicum of control and understanding of my abilities.

Despite Itachi's characteristic stalwart stoicism, he couldn't hold back all of his own satisfaction as he regarded me looking, dare I say it, pleased as punch. "I did," he said with a contented sigh.

"I know it wasn't three meters though… let me try again." I turned back around and righted myself against him, putting my arms back out. In my momentary rush of success, I had nearly forgotten about the hands holding my posture rigid by my ribcage. I tensed at the feeling of his index fingers moving up just slightly but enough to now be resting comfortably at the base of my breasts. Even without being touched, it was enough for my nipples to become almost painfully hard. I clenched my thighs together in an attempt to quell the odd sensation forming there as well.

Trying to mimic what I'd done earlier but so thrown off but his foreign touch, the next couple of waves were babies compared to the first one.

"You're distracted," Itachi noted. I nodded with a small whine. "Well, that's part of the lesson. There will always be distractions… it's important to learn how to work through them."

A sharp inhale pulled my lips apart as his fingers moved feather-light up and just barely across my nipples, causing my body to arch back against him before giving in to a shudder forward against my will, but Itachi quickly pulled me back by my shoulders as he'd done several times before at that point.

"Posture," he reminded me before his hands moved back to my torso. The tips of his fingers sparked fiery trails across and up my quivering diaphragm, causing me to become more and more undone by the second. By the time his hands reached my breasts again I was internally a mess, trying with everything I had to keep my arms out steadily in front of me.

Another wave, this one maybe two meters. My heart swelled at it but I knew it wasn't enough.

"Try again, keep steady," Itachi whispered before allowing his fingers to pull across my nipples and settle there, taking a hold of them between his fingers in a long, slow pinch. It was my complete and utter undoing. A stuttered and unintelligible noise groaned out of me as I sank into the insane pleasure that washed over me. I jerked forward, nearly doubling over as the overwhelming feeling took over my body and set my breathing at a panting pace.

"Focus, Izumi," Itachi said sternly through a breath.

"S-sorry," I managed as I shakily pulled my body back upright against him and extended my arms forward. I could feel the growing heat inside me as detectably as I could feel it growing in him as well... The sensation of his hard, warmth pressing obstinately against the small of my back made me very much want to make sure I stayed pressed up against him. With a small whimpering sigh that I couldn't manage to bite back, I felt him twitch against me as I lifted myself, shifting up to grind into him.

Yes, posture. It's very important, Izumi.

He let out a barely audible noise of satisfaction from his throat as he slowly released the impossibly pleasurable squeezing pressure in favor of tracing light circles around the raised skin of my nipples and across my chest. He managed to tease out a litany of shivers and small little puffing noises from me in response, which he seemed to enjoy based on his now perceptible breathing.

Another sapling of a wave. Was it really possible to actually get worse at this?

Oh I'm sure if it is, you'll find a way.

"Focus," Itachi urged again. I wanted to, I really did. There was nothing I wanted more than to simply impress the man whose chest was busily expanding and contracting beneath my back. His fingertips dancing across the very sensitive skin of my breasts and catching on my buds was making my head just the teensiest bit foggy and I tried, given the mounting urgency in his voice, to reel myself back in.

I squeezed my thighs together tightly and focused on the tightening, uncontrollable feeling swelling inside me. Visualizing it, I let it continue to grow and coil and bunch together in my core. My mind felt like it was swimming as the feeling of Itachi's fingers continued to run tremors through my body.

"Come on, Izumi," Itachi ground out, rolling against me from behind and pinching the over-sensitive nubs between his fingers very suddenly and even more tightly than before, causing my body to jolt forward with a gasping cry. My arms still extended, I released my hold on the chakra I'd been chasing in a rush.

I was thankful for the splash of the large wave that did well to cover up the accidental cry that had burst from me. I stayed still like that, hunched forward with my arms held weakly in front of me, for several moments as Itachi gently released his hold, caressing my breasts and cupping them entirely in his hands to bring me back against him. I leaned there with my head lolling over his shoulder, expelling heavy breaths from exertion and other things , and laughing through them with a stupidly swollen heart.

I did it.

"Did you see?" Itachi recycled my question from the first wave, squeezing me softly before letting his hands fall away from my breasts, arms looping around my torso instead. I had completed his little challenge so I guessed that whole distraction thing was over.

"My eyes were closed..." I admitted through a breathless laugh. "But it sounded big enough."

"You really are impossible…" he mumbled. "I'd say it was almost five meters."

I could do nothing but melt into him as he held me there and looked down at me with an expression I'd never seen on him, it almost felt like he was proud of me. Even if he wasn't, I was proud of me. I sank into the heat of his body pressing against and wrapping around me. The sky was impeccably cloudless and twinkling, as were the fireflies that illuminated spotty sections along the river bed in droves. Everything seemed so perfect in that moment, I wanted to just freeze time right then and there.

"Impossible? Surely you meant impressive. Oh, or maybe you didn't finish and were going to say impossibl...y impressive?" I said, smiling. I couldn't stop.

"Mmm…" Itachi agreed softly, "that you are." He was still for a moment but I could feel his breath on my neck. He was thinking, I could practically hear the cogs turning in that cryptic noggin of his.

"It drives me mad... the way you leave yourself so vulnerable like this," he whispered in a low, strained voice, pressing his nose into my neck and nuzzling some errant hairs away.

"Hmm, I figure I should be safe with you," I said, waving off his comment and enjoying how warm my back was compared to the rest of my frigid body.

"That's what scares me..." his voice came out low and even before pressing a searing kiss to the artery pumping wildly beneath the delicate skin of my neck. My eyes fluttered shut as a small sigh passed from my lips.

After a moment of comfortable stillness, just kind of absorbing it all, he pulled away with a sigh of his own.

"We should go in. People might start wondering…" Itachi whispered as he lazily pulled back and grabbed my waist to move me.

"Can't we let them wonder?" I pouted, hooking my legs around his so I couldn't be moved. Well, in theory anyway...

"Stay in here any longer and they'll be wondering how to treat your hypothermia," he chided, easily dislodging his legs from my own and pulling me through the water behind him and up the bank. "I think you'll want to put this on," he said, offering me his cloak. I smiled sheepishly and accepted. The night air had become chilly so I was quite grateful for the gesture. Itachi informed me on our way back that the Akatuski were gathering that night to do something very important, something he thought I might enjoy, which certainly piqued my interest.

Notes:

Three chapters in one weekend? I know, I'm a monster.

Guys I just need to throw out a resounding THANK YOU to my peeps that leave me fun little comments. I love hearing from you guys, it totally makes my day when y'all have shit to say about this silly little fic.

Thanks for all the reads and kudos to everyone that's made it this far. Buckle up, bitches, because shit's about to get MESSY.

Chapter 27: Poker Night

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

After a quick shower and a fresh set of clothes, I headed for the kitchen to see what this "very important" thing was. When I entered, I was surprised to see every member of Akatsuki—sans Pain and Konan—gathered around the bulky kitchen table.

I stifled a giggle when I noticed what they were doing. "You guys are really something else," I said, shaking my head in amusement.

"Aw come on Izumi, you know you wanna join. Get over here and choose your poison," Kisame offered with a devilish grin. I rolled my eyes but ultimately did as he suggested.

"Dammit, my bottle is running out," Kakuzu whined in a gruff tone as he grabbed a small bottle of dark green from the middle of the table where various colors of nail polish sat grouped together. I watched with a mild laughter resting behind my lips as the men chose their colors, tapping them roughly against their palm before unscrewing the brushes.

"I can't believe you guys all get together to paint your nails ." A few smirks sprouted around the table while others grunted at my comment.

"She's got a point, why don't we play poker or something instead of this shit?" Hidan asked as he dragged dark green across his thumb nail, cursing it as it bled onto his skin. I mentally noted that he and Kakuzu used the same color which was cute since they never seemed to agree on anything else.

"That would require money," Kakuzu pointed out, clearly against the idea. Hidan glared at Kakuzu with a twitching eye.

"Yes, but that also means you can win money," Kisame commented. Kakuzu seemed to think about this.

"Oh shit, are we actually going to play poker?" Hidan asked in disbelief as he watched his partner give it some consideration. A few of the guys began discussing the logistics of playing after their nails were dry.

Why is this so adorable?

"Izumi, don't you want to paint yours?" Zetsu asked, looking at me with expectancy.

"There's none left," I noted.

"I'll share if you want red," he offered, his hand stretched out towards me with the dripping rouge brush between his fingers. I shook my head politely, "No thanks Zetsu, I don't think red really suits me." In reality I had recently spent too much time covered in red and I wasn't looking to be reminded of it in any way.

"I have black, un" Deidara offered with eyebrows raised in questioning. I pursed my lips pensively as I considered it.

I sighed before answering with a hopeless shrug, "So… don't make fun of me, but… I've never painted my nails before, and given the short list of things I excel at, I just don't imagine this to be one of them."

Sasori laughed lightly under his breath and I gave him a quizzical look before he elaborated, "The one person here who has never painted their nails also happens to be the only female present. I find that humorous."

"That's what I'm here for, good for a laugh at least." I said with a half smile and a full shrug.

"Okay, so you'll probably suck at it, no big deal. I can just do it for you," Deidara proposed, waving me over.

Kisame nodded towards Itachi, "Itachi has the steadiest hand with those eyes of his." Deidara grumbled lowly under his breath at the mention of Itachi.

"I mean, Deidara can do it if he wants, just as long as it's not Hidan," I joked as I glanced at Hidan who was hunched over closely to his hand, his tongue partially hanging out of his mouth in deep concentration, and his hand shakily dragging the polish across his nail.

"Sorry I'm not as good as these fucking losers," he retorted sarcastically before slamming his palm against the table and cursing again, claiming I messed him up.

"Hidan, stop shaking the table…" Itachi warned with a glare. I suppressed a laugh at Itachi's sudden annoyance. Apparently the man was deadly serious about his manicure.

"Whatever. I'm just trying to get this done so we can get to playing poker." Hidan grumbled as he continued painting haphazardly. "And Izumi, just so you know, I'm plenty good at other, much more important things." He tossed me a wink and a grin, his tongue sliding across the edge of his teeth.

Well that was forward, here in front of everyone, no big deal.

Before I could focus too much on it, I flinched as Deidara's hand against mine startled me. He smirked at my reaction before pulling the brush from the bottle and placing my palm flat against the table. The polish was cool against my nail, shining like black ice as it dragged across. It was only minutes before he finished, my nails painted for the first time.

"You like?" Deidara asked, taking my fingers and gently pulling them toward his mouth to blow against them. I prayed my face didn't betray me as I was having a somewhat hard time not showing how absolutely endearing he looked at that moment.

"I love, thanks Dei," I said, trying to control my smile from getting too big as he released my hands from his. I smiled down at them as I fanned out my fingers before me.

"It's like you're an official member now, un," he joked.

I gave a hefty snort at this. "Ah yes, the most powerful member of Akatsuki. Izumi."

"Hell yeah, she can make ramen that'll scald your skin off," Kisame added with a chortle, running dark purple across his thumb nail.

"Has a snorting-laugh so irritating, you'll want to tear your own ears off," Kakuzu Added.

"Hey," I scowled, but found myself quickly drowned out by other members adding to The Legend of Izumi .

"Footing so clumsy, she might trip into you," Deidara said.

"Head so oblivious, she'll miss every sexual innuendo." Sasori jabbed.

"Hey, I'm getting better at that one!" I cried as they continued on for a while.

Most of the guys had finished and were in the process of setting up for game night. It was kind of cute any time I would get a glimpse of them doing something relatively normal together. While some of them would pretend otherwise, there was still a human element to all of them despite the things they were capable of.

I went to work in the kitchen which was connected to the room they were in. Game night snacks seemed to be in order. I went about preparing a pork mixture for some fresh gyoza.

"Oi, Izumi. You ever had sake?" Hidan shouted at me from the table, a pink flush on his own face that let me know he had certainly been enjoying some sake himself. Looking about the table, they all seemed to be enjoying varying amounts of spirits.

"Take a wild guess," I called back over my shoulder with a shake of my head.

"What?! You need to at least try it, kid" Kisame insisted, somehow astounded by this. "You're 18, right? That's almost criminal!"

"Coming from a criminal, now that's cute," I admonished with a smile as I brought a plate of steaming gyoza over to the table.

"Aw c'mon Izumi, just try it, yeah?" Deidara prodded as he poured sake into a tiny saucer and pushed it towards me.

"I- I don't know. Is it going to make me act as stupid as you guys?" I asked hesitantly.

This got a good belly laugh from Kisame and a few other chuckles, even Itachi wore a small smile with his rosy cheeks. It was a good night after a good day, seeing everyone laughing and together. That's how I wanted to remember them, my whole experience. I had been dealing with a horrible pit in my stomach wondering how and when the curtain would come crashing down on the entire surreal experience. I made a mental note that I still had to at least tell Itachi about Aki and how he'd gotten ahold of my blood. I'd need to make sure I was around him if and when Orochimaru used that jutsu.

After some more jeers and general peer pressure, I gave in, taking the saucer in my hand and bringing it up to my nose. I had always been curious so honestly it didn't take much to convince me to give it a try.

"Don't smell it, you'll never try it if you smell it," Sasori advised. I was nervous to try it. I couldn't seem to just get it over with. It hovered in front of my lips for a long time as I worked up the nerve.

"Come on, don't be a pussy!" Hidan yelled. Apparently that was all the motivation I needed. Throwing it back as quickly as possible, my face twisted at the unfamiliar flavor filling my cheeks before gulping down the entirety of it.

"Blech…" I stuck my tongue out and shook my head with a shiver. Well, this just drew more jeering and laughter.

"Damn Izumi, you're supposed to sip it, not shoot it!" Deidara cried between laughs.

"Legend!" Kisame shouted with a bellowing laugh.

"I didn't know!" I said defensively. "Why wouldn't you tell me that first?!"

"Fuck, I'm glad we didn't," Hidan was laughing so hard he was holding his stomach.

"Admittedly, it wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining," Itachi calmly noted, his eyes trained on me.

"I'm glad you guys enjoyed it…" I whined light-heartedly.

"I thought we were playing poker?" Kakuzu asserted with a clearing of his throat, clearly no longer amused. I looked around realizing I was all done cooking and serving and stood awkwardly for a moment before turning to leave.

"Izumi, you wanna learn the game?" Kisame asked with a pointy smile, waving me over. I stopped and looked back at him.

"Oh, that's okay, there aren't any more chairs anyway," I said with some disappointment.

"Come on," he pushed his chair away from the table and patted his lap. "Plenty of room."

I wasn't sure if I was just starved for social interaction after my years of isolation or if it was the sake, but I silently agreed with a subtle smile and a trot over to him. I felt absolutely miniscule on Kisame's lap, his cloak nearly devouring me whenever he reached for anything on the table. I sat to the side with my legs dangling over his thighs, kicking them in a rhythm as he explained the rules to me.

"Alright kid, you're in charge of my chips. Take good care of these," he said as he dropped a stack of small, colored disks in my hands. I quickly cupped them and held them against me to avoid dropping them in a clattering torrent which was, of course, always an option.

"So this is my hand, the game is part luck, part skill," Kisame began quietly explaining to me, bringing the cards in close to us. "Essentially, my cards need to be better than everyone else's. Even if they're not, sometimes you can bluff and get other people to fold, but it's a gamble. We don't know anyone else's cards until the end, so that's what makes it tricky. That's where you come in, you're gonna be my good luck charm, got it?" He smiled down at me with a chuckle.

I nodded with a smile. "Pretty sure I know how to help." He raised a brow at me curiously and I held my finger up, gesturing to give me a moment.

"Hey Itachi," I whispered, despite him sitting right next to Kisame and I. He looked over.

"What cards do you have?" I asked curiously.

The corners of his lips upturned slightly. "And what would someone such as yourself do with that information?"

"Nothing really, I mean… I'm not even playing," I shrugged, feigning innocence.

"Ah, very well, in that case I'll tell you. I have five aces," he admitted.

I turned back to Kisame, motioning for him to bring his ear close. "Itachi says he has five aces." Kisame threw his head back in a great laugh at this.

"Damn, Uchiha's got jokes tonight!" Kisame managed to get out through his laughs as Itachi's shoulders shook with quiet laughter to my left. They eventually explained to me that there were only 4 aces in a deck of cards and all I could do was muster a semi-dirty look in Itachi's direction.

"My apologies, I couldn't resist," he offered quietly but still with amusement. I noticed Deidara glowering across the table and I recalled his rivalry with Itachi. If I didn't have 0% confidence I would say he almost seemed… jealous?

The game went on with Kisame consulting me on whether he should "fold" or "call" each round. I quickly found out that "call" made the game more interesting for me so that became my answer every time.

"Hey, you're supposed to be my good luck charm," Kisame whined as he lost another hand. "Are you just saying 'call' every time?" he squinted at me accusingly. I shrugged with a guilty grin, my shoulders shaking with the giggles.

"You're the worst," he laughed before picking me up faster than I could protest. "I gotta take a leak, watch the kid for me," he announced, plopping me onto Itachi's lap before disappearing down the hall.

I froze for a moment as if he had just set me in the lap of a grizzly bear. I slowly, very slowly, turned to look up at Itachi with an expression that read "Is this okay?" but he wasn't even looking at me, he was staring intently at the cards he was just dealt. Of the little I knew about Itachi, I was aware that he was a very private person. This type of display, even if he didn't initiate it, even if it didn't really mean anything, as I had just been on Kisame's lap as well, I feared it would make him uncomfortable.

"So, fold or call?" he asked me quietly without taking his eyes from the cards. His other hand found a resting place on my thigh just above the knee, securing me in place on his lap.

Pshh, and you were worried.

Even though it was below the table, I was completely taken aback by the gesture. Was this the power of sake? I was glad I only drank the small amount I did, I didn't need anything helping me make a fool of myself. He asked me a question, right?

"C-call," I answered quietly, still looking at him. His eyes finally shifted to regard me, that shadow of smile creeping onto his face once more.

"You haven't even looked at my hand," he noted coolly, pausing for a moment before adding, "perhaps you are a good luck charm though." I looked at the cards and saw he had something Kisame had referred to as a 'Royal Flush', which apparently was an automatic win. I don't know.

"Just not for Kisame I guess," I said with a hushed laugh.

"Lucky for me," Itachi agreed.

His hand on my legs seemed to take the opportunity to pull me in closer but it was barely noticeable, I couldn't be certain if it was wishful thinking or not. I kept my face down in the hopes that he wouldn't notice how flushed I had become, though that didn't protect me from the rest of the table. I glanced around to see Deidara staring intensely at his cards with a gloomy expression and Sasori giving me a knowing look and a small smile.

Let's gloss right over that, shall we?

It was then that something hit me, a scent, and a very particular one at that. I suddenly felt short of breath, my body stiffening as I frantically searched for the stench. I quickly honed in on Kakuzu. His mask was pulled down around his neck and a large, smoking cigar was clenched neatly between his lips. The smell made my stomach turn and my mind churn with images of Gorzo's twisted face and for a split second I swore I felt his hands on me.

My body became unbearably hot as I attempted to breathe in deeply but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to catch my breath. Itachi suddenly removed his hand from my leg which had been the only thing making me feel grounded.

In the midst of the overwhelming fragrance and the absence of Itachi holding me in place, I felt light-headed, like I might float away or fall over, I wasn't sure which one. My hands instinctively grabbed at the fabric of Itachi's pants to keep myself upright, head spinning from the fumes as I tried desperately to gain control of my shallow breathing and whatever manic look was taking over my face.

What the hell is wrong with you?

"Izumi…" Itachi spoke quietly as he had been before. To anyone else it would have appeared like we were still discussing his hand.

"Hm?" I managed to respond without looking, worried any more would alert him to the tremor in my voice.

"Have I made you uncomfortable?" He asked hesitantly, his voice even quieter.

"No," I denied quickly with a shake of my head. I could feel his eyes on me.

"You're trembling," he whispered, though the obvious underlying question of "why" was there. I felt so stupid that I couldn't bring myself to answer without bursting into tears, and I did not want to make a scene. What was happening to me? Why was my body having such a visceral reaction to such a thing? I knew logically it was only Kakuzu and not Gorzo.

"I'm fine," I lied with an attempted smile and eyes welling up against my will. They darted across the room and I was relieved to see most people were focused on the game, all except Hidan who I was alarmed to find trained on me sharply. I couldn't read his expression, it was devoid of its usual humor which was oddly disconcerting. There was a certain seriousness about him and his eyes traveled from me to Kakuzu and back to me, his head cocking just slightly. He looked back at Kakuzu.

"Oi, Kakuzu. Put that thing out, it smells like ass." Hidan whined with a sudden boisterousness, waving the air in front of him.

Kakuzu inhaled deeply and blew a long, deliberate plume of smoke in Hidan's face. I silently gasped for breath as I watched the billowing cloud swirl around, my fingers inadvertently squeezing harder at the fabric between them.

"No." Kakuzu followed up flatly.

"I swear to fucking God," Hidan started in but Kakuzu cut him off.

"I'm not in the mood for your empty death threats. It's never bothered you before so just deal with it." Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at his partner as he continued to puff on the cigar.

"Well it's bothering me now ." Hidan complained with a growl as he jolted forward, snatching the cigar straight out of Kakuzu's mouth and tossing it over his shoulder all in one fluid motion. It landed in the sink with a fizzle before floating to the top of the water next to the soaking dishes.

Hidan smiled arrogantly at Kakuzu whose eyes had become dagger points.

"Hidan… do you know how expensive that was?" Kakuzu's low, gravelly voice was coated with a thick layer of irritation.

"Yeah, yeah, take it out of my next earnings, like I give a fuck." Hidan waved him off and went back to staring at his cards, tipping back dangerously in his chair as he surveyed them with a smartass look on his face.

The disturbing scent still lingered in the air, though as the smoke dissipated I felt the tightness in my chest ease just slightly. I couldn't take my eyes off Hidan who glanced up, but not at me. Did he really piece that together? He and Itachi seemed to exchange a look, Hidan's head nodding to the side in what seemed like a gesture to the common room. I couldn't see Itachi's reaction if there was any, but only a short moment later his hand returned to its position above my knee.

"I fold," Itachi said, placing his cards face down on the table. "I think that will be it for me this evening," he expressed to the group before speaking to me directly. "Izumi, you should turn in as well. We have another seal-breaking session tomorrow morning." The hand resting on my leg gave a small, reassuring pat. I felt less panicked than before but was still trying to regain my breath and break myself of the tremor that ran through my hands when they weren't squeezing the hell out of Itachi's pants. I quickly realized what I had been doing and released my grip at once.

"Aw come on, you're done already Itachi?" Kisame teased as he sauntered back in while we were getting up. Itachi gave him a small nod as Kisame returned to his spot at the table where the rest of the guys picked up the game again. Looking back over my shoulder I noticed Deidara watching Itachi and I leave with a scowl tugging at the corners of his mouth. Maybe he was jealous. I didn't have the mental energy to think about that too.

"Follow me," Itachi said to me from over his shoulder as he continued through the common room and down the hallway. Through my light-headedness I followed Itachi with a swaying, wobbly gait down several halls before he stopped at a door, opening it and ushering me inside.

Notes:

OOOooOooOoooOoh Izumi and Itachi alone in his bedroom together? Well, they're both quite responsible... I'm sure nothing will happen... :3

Chapter 28: Awakening*

Notes:

Content Warning: Some spicy stuff

So this chapter is long guys. Over twice as long as my usual updates. I couldn't seem to cut it any shorter, trust me I tried.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I entered his familiar room and he followed behind, shutting the door and suggesting that I should lay down.

"I'm fine, Itachi, really. You don't need to go through all this," I assured, feeling embarrassed that yet again, someone had to take care of me.

"I have to insist." He pressed his hand against my back, pushing me towards the bed. I didn't resist. His bed was comfortable, much more than the couch I'd been sleeping on. Closing my eyes for just a moment, I sank into it and took a few deep breaths. Itachi looked down at me with his usual vacant expression.

"Was it the sake?" he asked, clearly in reference to my bizarre reaction that I was still calming down from.

"No, I-I barely had any," I said, shaking my head, breathing in and out in a very calculated fashion. I had questioned the same thing but I knew that wasn't it, that was well over an hour ago and I'd only had one tiny drink.

"Was it… me?" I could tell he felt uncomfortable even asking such a question, one that left him vulnerable.

"No!" I rushed out, practically shouting. "No," I repeated calmly, in a second attempt at being a normal person.

Nice.

He looked over, amused. Sitting on the edge of the bed he took my wrist in his hand, pointer and middle finger pressed firmly against the inside of it. "Your pulse is still a bit fast…" he noted. "Care to tell me what's bothering you then?"

"I…I-I don't think I can explain it," I said, feeling defeated and not at all in control of my stupid emotions. I didn't trust myself to be able to talk about it, not even a little given my current state. "I'm... afraid," I admitted, eyes downcast.

"Afraid of...?"

"I'm afraid that if I try… god this is so stupid," I groaned, covering my face with my hands. Itachi waited patiently for me to go on. I wasn't getting out of this so easily. "I'm afraid I'll start crying," I eventually mumbled into my hands.

"I see..." he said thoughtfully, "and... that would be a bad thing I'm assuming?"

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, frustrated. "No? But also... yes?"

"As thorough an explanation as that is, I'm afraid I don't follow."

What a polite way to call you an idiot. Maybe he really does like you.

"I feel like if I start, I'm never going to stop... Is that dumb?" I peeked up at him from between my fingers, also feeling silly about being vulnerable. I was supposed to be fun, not depressive. It was like... all I had going for me.

Itachi regarded me in the same way a doctor might a patient, trying to figure out how to fix me or at least put me at ease, taking the time to let a comfortable silence settle before he disturbed it. "Not dumb," he finally said with a slow tilt of his head. "You don't have to tell me, Izumi. I've kept my fair share of secrets."

He paused to peel the fingers from my face, holding my hands away from me and pushing them against the pillow on each side of my head. When I expected him to pull away, he remained there pinning me, staring down with an unexpected intensity.

"I-Itachi?" I questioned, my voice cracking with uncertainty. When his eyes only darkened, my chest rose and faltered on a hitching inhale. Part of me was scared... but another part of me, a bigger part, wanted him to lean in and close the gap between us.

He seemed to snap out of it, blinking once before pulling away in a rush and averting his eyes to the floor. "My apologies," he murmured, regaining his composure. "I was only thinking about how I'd been worried that I made you uncomfortable earlier tonight. Lost in thought, I suppose."

"No, no Itachi…" I began, waving my hand around like it might shoo away his anxieties. It was cute how worried he seemed about that. For such an intelligent, serious man, he could be rather lost at times. I quickly pushed myself up into a sitting position and grabbed his hand without a second thought.

"You were the only thing holding me together," I admitted, squeezing his hand like I could will him to believe me with the intensity of my grip alone.

He slowly turned to meet my gaze, regarding me skeptically.

"Look," I urged, tucking the hair behind my ear. I brought his hand to my face, leading his fingers to the wound that he'd become intimately familiar with during recent events. "I know it must seem so silly to you, for me to feel the impact of a wound so small small, but I-I'm not used to it. These things are still scary for me." I released my grip on his hand but it stayed there, gently pushing my hair back and tracing the scabbed edges, an uneasy look painting his features.

"A burn… from what?" he asked quietly, his other hand moving to rest on my thigh, finger tips lazily grazing back and forth. It was a comfort, to say the least.

"Honestly, I thought I was over it... but when I smelled the smoke…" I trailed off, looking down, ashamed I couldn't seem to complete a single sentence. I hadn't talked about it and this was exactly why.

"The cigar…" Itachi realized aloud with a sigh. "I should have known. My god, even Hidan knew…" He shook of his head, hand going from grazing across my thigh to gripping. I winced and glanced up to see him glaring at my wound like it had done some sort of personal disservice to him.

"It's okay. I'm f-fine," I assured very unconvincingly, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Oh lord, here we go.

Shakily placing my hands over his, I couldn't tell if I was trying to comfort him or myself. My shoulders began to shake as all the sobs I'd been holding in since that day wracked my body. I clutched at Itachi's hands even more desperately, fearing that if I didn't hold onto him I'd fall into the abyss entirely. The dangerous look on Itachi's face quickly faded, only to be replaced with something that looked almost like... fear? Was this new territory for him, too?

"I'm s-sorry…" I cried quietly. He looked even more bewildered at this.

"What on earth are you apologizing for?" Itachi questioned as he pulled out of my grip, taking my face in his hands and forcing me to look at him. I fought to pull away, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed at him seeing me pulling apart at the seams like this, but he held me steady.

"I… I-I'm just being stupid and weak… even Konan said s-so…" I choked out. Itachi's typical impersonal mask cracked further with a helpless expression.

"Izumi… " he began with a sigh, "there is nothing I can say or do to take away this type of hurt." His timbre was low and whispered, hands gliding from my cheeks and snaking around my back. "Though... I can ensure you don't bear it alone."

His arms around me felt firm and safe as they pulled me onto his lap and moved to cage me against him, my eyes shocking wide at first before soothing shut as he held me there. Itachi was silent as I fell apart in his grasp, held together only by his hands. One gently sweeping across my back, the other securing my head to his shoulder, idly smoothing my hair.

After letting the waves wash over me, I found myself calming down and lulling into him, sinking into his comfort. I'd been enjoying the embrace far too much to break the silence, so we sat in it for a while.

"Mm... and you were afraid you wouldn't be able to stop," he eventually murmured.

I let out a weak laugh. "I suppose that was meant to make me feel better..."

"Meant to, yes. As it turns out, I'm not very good at this. Another thing to add to that list of yours, I suppose," he replied quietly, if not a little embarrassed.

"Itachi… thank you." I gave him a long squeeze, breathing him in deeply as I knew it wouldn't last forever. He let me cling there for a moment longer before pulling back to look down at me.

"Do you feel better?" he asked, mask placid as ever as he brushed the hair from my blotchy, wet face.

I nodded slowly, sniffing and staring up at him with a stupid amount of admiration, entirely unable to understand how someone as powerful as him, who had done the things he'd done, could treat me with this kind of care? I just couldn't put the pieces together.

"Did you… want to talk about it still?" he asked hesitantly and it became endearingly more evident that this was, indeed, new territory for him. I'd never heard a note so unsure ring from the quietly confident Uchiha. I managed a shake of my head, having done quite enough blubbering for one night.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, frowning. I shook my head again, unable to break out of my captivation. My gaze flickered between his eyes and his lips as I suddenly became very cognizant of our extremely close proximity.

"No, it's just… your face is really, um... really close to mine," I murmured without really thinking, my stunned stare unbreaking from his.

Oh my God, Izumi. Who says that?

"It is," he agreed. "And that's... a bad thing I'm assuming?"

I shook my head slightly. "Not bad, it's just…"

"Hm?"

"It's making me feel like… like..." I trailed off again, unable to vocalize the thought that sounded so utterly ridiculous even in my head.

"Like…?" he encouraged with a quiet urgency.

"...like you might, um... kiss me?" I admitted, my already warm face flooding with a rush of blood.

OH MY GOD, IZUMI. WHO. SAYS. THAT.

Even Itachi seemed to have a healthy flush after that, his darkening eyes driving through me with an intensity that halted the breath in my throat.

"Izumi... I... you shouldn't say things like that," he warned, eyes unblinking and brows pinched tightly.

"Why?" I asked, barely a whisper.

"Izumi..." His tone was pained. Our faces were so close I couldn't even bring myself to form words. The hand that previously held me by the back of my head returned to its place there, his fingernails gently raking up my scalp before gripping firmly at the roots.

I realized with a pitch in my chest that even if I'd wanted to move-and I didn't-I wouldn't be able to. My brows raised in questioning, lips unintentionally parting to expel a heavy breath.

"I am a man of tremendous self-control," he began, his voice even, though tight in his throat. "But even I have my limits… and I'm afraid if you don't leave right now, you're going to witness me pushing them." The more he spoke, the more I could hear the effort of holding himself together wavering in his voice.

I had never seen this Itachi. There was a certain fervor to him, some desperate aching. More than anything, I wanted to cure that ache, even if I didn't fully understand what it would take to do so. There was a noticeable tremble to my words when I gathered myself enough to ask, "A-are you asking me to leave?"

Much to my surprise, he closed his eyes and began to laugh. It wasn't the kind you'd hear after a joke, nor was it loud. No, it held a sad sort of darkness, a cynicism completely devoid of any humor. His head tipped down until his forehead bumped against my collarbone and I could feel him shaking against me with the nearly silent laugh. Finally, he spoke. "In all honesty, that's what I should be doing, but no…no, I'm not."

He gradually lifted his head from the junction of my shoulder, gaze leveling with mine, fostering an intensity like he wanted to scare me off. And it was effective in a sense because I was scared, but it wasn't the kind of fear you ran from. No, I was scared of the unknown, but at the same time, wanting so badly to know. I felt like I was completely at his mercy.

But do you even want him to be merciful?

I… I wasn't sure.

"Just tell me you want me to let you go and I will. I promise I have the willpower… but I need you to ask me, Izumi." He had all but abandoned his usual calm and collected, man-of-few words façade and his eyes searched my face with a sort of manic tittering to them, but the only thing he'd find there were heavy breaths crashing out like waves, fully flushed cheeks and eyes half-lidded.

I waited for whatever would come next. Leaving was not even on the table.

He held me there for what seemed like an eternity, scanning my face for something over and over again, simultaneously desperate to find whatever it was, but also relieved it wasn't there. When the fervor reached its peak, his eyebrows knitted and with no warning whatsoever, time seemed to stop.

There was no past or present, no world outside the four walls that contained us. There were only our bodies pressed against each other, his lips bearing down on mine with an intensity that left me no choice but to return it.

The feeling of this man kissing me the way he was... I couldn't help but question somewhere in the back of my head, just how long had he been wanting this? The searing heat of it felt like he was pouring every ounce of want and need and desire that had built within him for an eternity, all into this one act.

I'd come to know Itachi to be rather gentle, but this was not that, it was far from it. It wasn't aggressive either, however. It was just raw and unprocessed. His tongue begged against my lips and without hesitation, I let them fall open. His hands roving and grabbing messy fingerfuls of my hair as our tongues twisted and moved against each other, like if he didn't hold me there, I might disappear, like he needed to pull me closer into him to make sure I couldn't slip through his fingers like my hair.

I wanted him to know I wasn't going anywhere. I needed him to know that.

Without daring to break the kiss, I shifted and pushed up onto him, seating myself squarely in his lap, legs straddling his sides. The low, satisfying hum this drew out of his chest left me breathless, forcing me to break away with a gasp, my head lolling back for a moment as I seemingly forgot how to use my muscles.

"Always so vulnerable…" Itachi's voice had taken on the same fevered quality as his eyes and the sound of it alone set a weakness in my knees, immediately exacerbated by his teeth scraping against my neck, coming together in a scorching bite that drew a whimper from my lips. He followed with a gentle kiss, contrasting delightfully against the burning, residual pain. But pain was a strong word. Pain implied that I didn't like it, and that couldn't have been further from the truth.

I was thankful to be seated on him at that moment, my legs numb and starting to quiver as he wove a sloppy trail of urgent kisses down to my collar bone. His capable hands held me upright against him and I wondered if he sensed that I actually needed the help, my entire body feeling like the bones had dissolved, leaving me limp and burning in his grasp.

I tried to focus on my hands, just my hands-starting small was better than nothing. I had to wrest back some control over my own body, at the very least.

The enduring ache between my legs throbbed with a pulse so strong I wouldn't have been surprised if Itachi could somehow feel it against him. It was painfully difficult to think about anything else, but through all my feverish shivering, I knew I needed to. My fingers twitched and moved shakily to his chest.

Progress.

I exhaled with relief and a thousand other emotions, anchoring myself there, fingers grasping and twisting into his shirt. Itachi found a particularly sensitive spot in the nook of my collar bone of all places, siphoning from me a sharp gasp. Realizing what he'd discovered, he met my wanton little slip with one of his own, a deep, rumbling groan which vibrated through his lips as they worked the untouched skin.

We fed off each other in this primal way, and as he continued to suck on that delicate patch of skin, I found myself absolutely melting.

The shaking of my legs brought on by the nagging tenderness between them persisted intensely and I thoughtlessly rolled my hips forward with a drawling whine in an effort to find relief. Another strained noise passed Itachi's lips, tearing away from me and letting his forehead fall against my chest breathlessly, fingers squeezing around my hips and pulling me against him further.

"Izumi…" he murmured, his voice breaking. It was music to my ears. "Your legs…" His hands glided over them and gave a squeeze, perhaps in an attempt to cease their incessant tremor. He was unsuccessful. I had long since given up on trying to stop them from doing so, it being very evident that it was no longer in my control.

"I'm o-okay, I just..." I assured, apparently the tremble finding its way to my voice as well. I cut myself off, feeling absurd in not knowing how to phrase what my body was feeling.

"You just…? What?" he urged me to continue between heady breaths and I felt his desperation deep within me because I held it there too.

"I just-" Cut short by hitching breath, he pulled me against him in a slow, intentional grind. "J-just…"

"What?" he pushed in a deep whisper. I met him with rolling hips, a returned gesture, and was rewarded with a rough squeeze of my thighs and a breathy exhale. "Tell me," he commanded, but it sounded more like he was begging, his voice unravelling with every word.

It was intoxicating.

"I just… want…"

"So help me Izumi…" he ground out, leaving me with the impression that if I didn't spit it out he would find a way to pry it from me.

Trembling fingers. Racing heart. Dry mouth.

"I just want you," I breathed out in a rush.

Despite the desperate, fevered expression that had consumed the whole of Itachi's face up until that point, it shifted just slightly, his brows lilting in such a way that almost broke my heart. Like he had just heard something for the first time, perhaps even something that he thought he would never deserve. It wasn't about the sex, as I was quite sure women had expressed their attraction to him before. No, it was something much more deep-seated than that.

And I'd said I wanted him, but that wasn't what I meant-not really.

"I… I need you," I amended quietly, breathlessly, with all the courage I had left in me as I placed a shaky kiss to his cheek.

Resisting the overwhelming urge to punctuate my admission with the push of my hips, I stilled them. I wanted him to see it in my face, just my face, that I meant it. I truly did need him and while there was certainly a physical aspect to that frenzied desire, it ran much deeper than that in a way I couldn't put into words.

Itachi wasn't good with words either apparently, and maybe that was why we were using our bodies in such a way. It felt impossibly right.

I held his gaze with mounting anxiety. It was his turn to say something. He almost looked frightened, though not enough to stop him, he was far beyond the point that anything could do that. His hands softened and moved to capture my face.

He swallowed. "Izumi… are you sure?" Now he was the one speaking breathlessly, and I was absolutely captivated by the man coming undone beneath me.

His eyes stared unblinking, intensely waiting. I could tell he recognized he would be my first-the inherent importance of it-and if I knew Itachi at all, he was concerned that I would regret such a thing later, to put him in such a high station.

I nodded, also unblinking and with a fiery heat beneath my cheeks.

"I need to hear you say it," he murmured in a way that told me he couldn't possibly believe what was happening.

Join the club.

I wrapped my tiny fingers around his wrists to hold him there. I wasn't running away and he wasn't allowed to either.

"I am absolutely…" I began, moving in to capture his lips, unable to even stop myself. "Positively…" breaking away for just a fraction of a moment before needing more. He returned the kiss with fire, our tongues melding in a slow twist. I pulled away breathlessly and found it somewhere within me to get out one last word. "Sure."

It felt like I was hanging on each passing breath as he stared at me intensely, processing, perhaps playing shogi again. If he thought I knew what to do next, he was out of his mind. So I waited there, my hands wrapped around his which cradled my face adoringly, my heat atop his. I waited there with my heart in my throat and my legs still shaking in anticipation.

The look in his eyes came back into focus and I knew he'd already made his next hundred moves.

"Arms up," he directed. The feverish, clamoring Itachi had gone dormant, a semblance of control and gentleness returning. His hands moved to the bottom hem of my shirt. I swallowed, suddenly nervous about what was to come.

It would be the first time he would see me and I couldn't help but wonder...

What if he doesn't want you?

My hesitation did not go unrecognized.

He paused there, eyes flitting to survey me before his fingers abandoned the shirt, moving instead to grab my chin and pull me in for a honey-sweet, potent kiss. If there was ever a moment I questioned his motives, if he really cared for me-and I had questioned it-the way he kissed me then buried all those fears.

My heart swelled, fingers entwining in his hair as we kissed over and over again. I could have done it forever, despite the impracticality of such a thing.

Chapped lips be damned.

"You don't need to be nervous." He broke away and pressed a reassuring kiss to my forehead which I leaned into with a sigh, my fingers gently sweeping across his chest and settling to feel his heartbeat. Despite his composed exterior, it seemed oddly rushed.

Itachi's fingers fell to the hem of his own shirt this time, and as he pulled it off, I leaned back to take him in.

Thoughtlessly, my fingers moved to trace the scar I'd gotten to know very well in previous encounters. Letting them smooth over his skin the way one might run their hands over a fine marble statue, I explored every curvature of bone and flesh and muscle, evoking small twitches that had me completely entranced. He was timeless and beautiful just the same.

"Arms," he eventually said, but I could tell it was more of a question as he angled his head down to meet my timid gaze with a look that begged me to trust him. And I did, completely and implicitly, the foolish, naïve girl that everyone liked to remind me that I was.

I raised my arms above my head. Itachi's eyes didn't move from mine, even as my shirt hit the floor.

They eventually travelled upwards to regard my hands though, which I kept in the air in spite of the shirt having long since been removed. He hadn't told me to bring them back down after all. There was a curiosity present in his expression as he looked at them, then at me with a tilt of his head.

"I thought to spare you from my overbearing rules tonight, Izumi… but you like them, don't you?" he asked, eyes darkening.

I nodded slowly. I did like them, I liked them very much. I didn't know what to do with myself without them.

"They make you feel safe," he murmured with a certain satisfaction in realizing it. I just stared back, chewing my lip and hoping that was okay.

"Very well then," he whispered, pulling my wrists down to his mouth, allotting each one, just there on the inside, the faintest press of his lips.

He took care in shifting out from beneath me, capturing each breast in his mouth as he did so, one after the other, gently sucking and nipping, his tongue running over each delicate bud and sending a full-body shudder and a series of soft gasps to ripple through me. Slowly lowering my arching back to lay against the cotton sheets, he gave them each a soft, parting kiss and pushed himself up, coming to stand before me.

His hands slipped beneath each of my knees, pulling me toward him and maneuvering me so my bottom rested just shy of the mattress edge.

The way he looked at me was like he was trying to etch the sight into his memory, as if he might lose his vision tomorrow and he needed this to be the thing he remembered most vividly. And though that wanting expression alone made me ache for him even more, it also made me feel like a spotlight blared down at me.

My arms moved to cover my chest as I allowed my eyes to shamelessly traipse down his body in return, feeling very much like I was getting the better half of this deal.

"Your hands…" he began as he took them into his own, bringing them to lay flat against the sheets at my sides. "They stay here… easy enough, yes?"

I nodded, the breath still shaking from my lips. "Is that it?" I asked, not at all meaning to sound disappointed. That slight smile, that ever-endearing amusement present on his face would be my undoing though. It was like he knew something I didn't.

"There is one more rule… but I'll tell you when it's relevant. Patience, Izumi." His fingers dipped under the elastic of my pants and underwear together, and with a slow series of tugs, they too were on the floor.

My breaths were deep and wavering, eyebrows arched in a way that begged for his touch so I wouldn't feel so ungodly exposed. Like just his hands on my body might cover me up enough to put me at ease. But he wouldn't, or maybe more accurately, he couldn't.

He seemed to be frozen, save for his own breaths and dilating pupils, as he stared down at me from his position between my legs. My knees hugged his waist and I watched the shifting lump in his throat as he swallowed and pulled at his own pants. They caught awkwardly at the prominent bulge at his forefront before falling to the floor.

Unsurprisingly, fully nude Itachi was beautiful.

Despite it making me feel like even more of a scrub comparatively, I pushed the thought away in favor of admiring the way his lean muscles moved as he raised his arms to comb through his hair. They stayed there entwined for a moment as he breathed out, regarding me in a similar way.

"My God, you are…" The man of few words paused, seemingly at a loss for them entirely, "...impossibly impressive," he eventually finished in a barely audible, breathy murmur, and I couldn't help but let out a wisp of a laugh at the callback.

His eyes roamed over me and the hands in his hair fell, one apprehensively wrapping around his length. I couldn't look away, the sight of him grabbing himself, the idle pumps as he stared down at me like his appetite was insatiable but dammit was he going to try... It drove spike of heat through my core, pooling and burning so unbearably hot.

Yes, please do try...

Only a moment later he pressed his hands into the bed on either side of me and leaned down capture my lips in a slow, undulating kiss. Feeling him press against me, his length first nudging, then sliding up and along the sensitive patch between my legs had a whining moan escaping me. Something he eagerly devoured.

I held my breath in anticipation of what I expected to be a painful plunge, and while he did move along me at a lazy, rocking pace as he deepened the kiss, he did not enter. My shaking thighs clenched his sides and my fingers grabbed at the blankets feverishly, back arching and chest pressing against his as he continued to kiss me.

"Not yet…" he said in a low timbre, breaking away just slightly to reach a hand down and briefly check the position of my hands. I was being a good girl at the moment and he seemed to mentally note this.

His fingers touched against me gently, gliding up my slit, and I made the most embarrassing noise in the history of noises. He paused, pulling away even more and looking down at his hand. The unreadable, bemused look that washed over him sent a jolt through me in the worst way.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked frantically, already mortified without even knowing anything and pushing up to my elbows to see.

"Hands," Itachi reminded quickly and I laid back down with a whine, grabbing at the sheets but still craning my neck to see.

"Izumi…" he said breathlessly, "you are very wet…"

"I-is that… bad?" I bit my lip, feeling stupid.

The shake of his head was measured and slow and it did not go over mine that his sharingan had activated. "No," he said, putting one hand on my knee to hold me open, leaning in close, and slowly pushing the slickened finger inside. "It's not bad, Izumi."

The outside world had already stopped when I first felt his lips against mine, but now even time inside those four walls felt like it had choked to slow-motion.

He was staring at me like I was the only person left on earth and I wanted to keep watching him watch me. Eyes fully focused but half-lidded, lips just barely parted. I could have lived off that look, the arch of his brows tilting in such a way that urged me to give in to every spark. Let myself light aflame. I wanted to keep looking, as I never got to see such a raw, stripped-down version of Itachi, and I needed to savor every last second of it.

But my body moved without my consent, lids clenching, fingers gripping, back arching, entire body shivering with the feeling of him inside. Even with only one finger I couldn't get over how tight it felt. For a split second I worried about how anything else could possibly fit, but I reeled back into the moment.

We would figure that out later.

He withdrew and pushed in again, slowly at first but steadily picking up, eliciting a stream of whiny little puffs from me as it began to scratch the surface of what I'd been craving from him.

Watching me shrewdly from his position above, those heavy-lidded sharingan irises took in every spasm and uncontrolled movement my body met him with. I could tell when it reacted in a way he particularly liked because his brows would tighten together and lift, a noiseless "oh" breathing from his lips.

Another finger, not without effort, and a sharp inhale. I almost didn't hear the nearly inaudible, strained noise that hummed in Itachi's throat over my own surprise. I wondered if he was just as amazed as I was at the unyielding tautness of my muscles around him.

Maybe that's why you're such a weakling, all your muscles have been hiding in your freaking vagina this whole time.

I promptly told my inner dialogue to shut up. This was not the time for snappy zingers as far as I was concerned.

The feeling verged on pain as both fingers stretched me open, my walls fighting to adjust and accommodate. I twisted my hands into the sheets just to keep them there, starting to understand why the hands rule was deceivingly difficult. I fought against my body's reactions which had me desperate to rake my hands through my hair or his, it didn't matter which.

Fingers pumping and curling against me, flexing and stretching. I descended into an unraveled mess of squirming and soft noises, grabbing and releasing the blankets in frenzied repetition, wanting nothing more than to be able to touch him. Whatever modesty had existed within me before was gone.

That empty, pulsating ache between my legs, though partially sated, still persisted. That overwhelming desire to be even closer, even fuller, despite the nearly painful tightness already… I couldn't bear it any longer and he knew it.

"Itachi… please," I whined, reaching for him, inadvertently breaking his rule, but it was too late to take it back. He grew very still at this and I tensed, heart rate spiking in waiting for his reaction.

"Say… say that again," he commanded quietly after a brief silence, fingers pulling from me and settling on the sensitive little bundle of nerves just outside. I wasn't sure which part had triggered his reaction. Was it his name burning off my lips, swollen and pink from biting back groans?

I realized then, given his occupation and general demeanor, that the women he'd been with before were likely near-strangers and he'd probably never heard his name in bed.

Or maybe he just wants to hear you beg… so beg the man already.

"Please… Itachi… I-I..." My voice broke as he quickened his pace against me and I struggled to form words with the unfamiliar mounting of pressure tightening within me. That little bundle had been swollen and wanting for a full day at that point and the sensitivity of it was excruciating.

His eyelids fluttered for a moment before finding focus again. He seemed to take great pleasure in watching me writhe and arch beneath his touch, unable to move my hands. Ever the opportunist, he took the liberty of leaning down to kiss me, perhaps just to hear me moaning and sighing against his lips. But that was okay with me, my breathing rapid as he pushed me towards the edge. He moved his mouth against my ear.

"Not yet."

His pace slowed to almost nothing and I let out a whining sigh. His eyes devoured me beneath half lids and if they could have spoken, they would have said, "be patient."

I shakily nodded at the unsaid comment with a wavering breath, all too eager to show my obedience despite the fact that I wasn't all too sure I could do that.

He stopped altogether before pushing his fingers into me one more time, curling up in a beckoning motion as if appraising me, checking to see if I was ready for what was to come. I seized up at the impossibly pleasurable feeling, whining incoherently as he pulled out of me and positioned his hips at my entrance.

His name promptly left my mouth in a desperate little puff as I reached for him once more, my nails catching and grazing along his hip bone. I couldn't stop myself.

"I will deal with that later..." he murmured with a certain shakiness to him, grabbing my wrist and pushing it back onto the bed. It became clear to me that this was a man trying desperately to maintain control over himself, but having about as much luck as I was in ceasing the shake of my legs.

Hands on my hips, he tugged me to the very edge of the bed, one hand slipping under my knee, pulling it up and straightening the leg against him so my ankle rested by his neck. The other hand wrapped around himself, adjusting the tip against me. He paused there, breathing unsteadily, eyes casting across me.

"Ready?" he asked, punctuated with a hard swallow and a thorough survey of my face. I nodded.

"Izumi, please…" he said weakly, his head sagging forward on his shoulders, hair hanging in front of his eyes, still shakily restraining himself at my entrance, "you know I need to hear it."

Undone Itachi was truly a sight to behold.

"Itachi, please..." I mirrored his own plea, a desperate flutter to my voice.

Pupils retracting and dilating, gazing intensely at me from behind a messy curtain of hair, he breathed in and held it there, sliding in just barely . My nerves lit up and I clenched around him, biting my lip, causing him to pause.

He breathed heavily once. Twice.

"Are you sure?" He asked, and I worried because I was beginning to think that he was the unsure one.

I liked to think both of us shared the same expression at that moment. Like we were leaping off a cliff together, one so deep it descended into nothing but darkness, scared and unknowing of what we'd find at the bottom. But we were curious, so ungodly obsessed with finding out.

"Yes..." I managed to whisper.

Pressing in further. Pausing with another unstable breath, both of us. It was painful to the point of feeling like we were attempting the impossible.

"Slow…" I begged in a tight whisper. My fingers were diligently squeezing at the cotton sheets in rhythm with my breathing in an attempt to bear through it.

He nodded. Another heavy breath.

"You tell me when you're ready," he said, strained yet softly, giving a small squeeze to the leg he held against his chest, his head turning to the side and occupying himself by pressing feathery kisses to my ankle as he waited. I focused on the way his lips felt against the delicate skin there instead of the feeling of being torn in two. The pain wasn't really going away, though I had somewhat adjusted to it and distracted myself from it.

"O-okay," I breathed out after a moment. Another kiss to my ankle. Another small push, a little further.

I sucked the air through my teeth with a wince, a whimper passing my lips, feeling fuller than anyone should at only halfway in. Even through the stretching ache, I made sure my eyes stayed open so I could watch his face as I took him. I wondered if it was painful for him as well, and I suspected it was, though in a different way.

Painfully slow.

His jaw clenched and flexed as he maintained his controlled, torturous stillness, but as his eyes passed over me and took in my own contorted expression, I could practically hear his heart drop.

"Izumi… I… I'm hurting you." His distressed voice and staggered breaths, that anguished expression, it all set off alarms in my head. I knew immediately he was about to pull out, put a stop to the whole thing, and not for him but for me. For my sake.

Sure enough, I felt him shift to pull away.

But I'd decided I did not want his mercy. I wanted to finish what we started.

Panic set in, my body moving on it's own, my free leg wrapping around him in reaction. A desperate, aching, "don't go," trembling from my lips as I crushed myself against him.

The pain spiked through me hot and sharp, enough to bring welting tears to my eyes, a harsh inhale through chattering teeth. But there, with him fully sheathed on me, I came to find that it was no longer only pain. There was something else deep inside me that he was pressing against and it caused my eyes to roll back.

A loud, guttural groan grinding out from behind Itachi's flexing jaw was all the motivation I needed to peel my eyes open. He was still and panting with his head tossed back and lids tightly shut. My leg still pressed firmly against his chest which he clung to with one of his hands, his other gripping my thigh as if he needed it to hold himself up. The sight of him unhinged like this set my every nerve ablaze.

His head fell forward, cheek pressing against my leg as he looked down at me intensely. I rocked against him just barely, wanting to feel him against that spot again so it wasn't just the harsh feeling of being stretched beyond my limits.

"I told you I was sure," I whispered in a broken voice to answer the question of "why" which was written all over his face. He began to pull out and I tried to lock my leg around him again but he pressed down on my thigh to hold me still.

"Not going anywhere…I promise," he assured with an earnest glance, pulling out a little more before pushing back in.

He was slow and sweet and as he pressed flush against me. The pain receded even more with each press and it was nearly gone after several slow thrusts, instead replaced with blinding pleasure that drew several noises from my lips, not a single one of them ending up as an intelligible word. A quiet expletive muttered by Itachi sent my hips rolling forward to meet him, dying to hear another. I hadn't even realized that my hands moved to comb through my hair.

"I've been lenient... but this is the fourth time, Izumi," Itachi scolded breathlessly, pumping a few more times before halting and grabbing me by the hips, pushing me back on the bed and climbing over me. The longing emptiness quickly filled as he pushed into me once more.

I winced through the initial pain, nowhere near as bad as before, and settled into pleasure as he struck that same chord even more intensely at this angle.

One hand pressed into the bed, holding him aloft. The other gripping both my wrists above my head. Bucking into me wordlessly, our bodies against each other speaking loudly enough for the both of us, he held down me so tightly that I couldn't possibly move. As was true to his nature, he managed to wrest any shred of control away from me and I shamelessly delighted in being powerless beneath him. In fact, it was quickly sending me over the edge.

The darkness at the bottom of the cliff was within view and I was well on my way to falling into it.

"Itachi…" I pinched out in a strained voice.

"Hm?"

"I… I think... I-I'm going… to-" The pressure was building to the point of overflow and I quickly approached the precipice.

"Not until I say." He pushed up to look down at me more thoroughly, slowing his pace just barely. Just enough to keep me teetering but not send me over.

"What?"

"This is the other rule… not until I say," he slowed even more and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he reveled in keeping me there on the brink.

I closed my eyes and sank into his every thrust, his name falling off the tip of my tongue with each one. Begging him over and over.

"God…" Itachi breathed out, eyes rolling back for a fraction of a second, as if I left him no choice but to let me have it, and somehow that was the most terrible and delightful thing anyone had ever done to him.

I pushed my hips forward and he quickly snapped to meet me, his pace suddenly errant and rapid.

Oh god. Oh dear lord. This is it.

"Not yet," he ground out. Tears of pleasure streamed from the corners of my clenched eyes from the effort of holding in the mounting, all-encompassing feeling crushing into me with every movement of his hips against mine.

"Please! Itachi…" I cried out as I felt myself edging up to the line. It was practically tearing me to pieces.

"Now," he grunted with a powerful jolt and several more to come after it.

We devolved into a mess of sweat and limbs, labored breathing, twisting sheets and the sweetest noises I ever did hear. My entire body seized as he overtook me. I wanted to wrench my hands into my hair but they were still pinned beneath his and I had no choice but to let it consume me helplessly. My name fell from Itachi's lips in discordant syllables, each one a grunting, whispered staccato as he finished right behind me.

After a final, gentle thrust, he slowly pulled out and fell to my side. Both of us laid there in the breathy silence of the room. It was all I could do to shakily stretch my hand over to lay atop his abdomen, just wanting to be connected somehow still, and my heart couldn't help but skip a beat as his hand quickly topped it, his fingers curling and lacing with them.

"How is it that you misbehaving does this to me…" he eventually mumbled to himself, causing me to snort out a breathless laugh.

"Have you ever thought that maybe your rules are too difficult?" I rebutted.

"No. Is that something I should think about?... And here I was thinking you liked a challenge."

"Mmm no… I'd rather you think about me." I attempted to flirt.

"Already done," he replied quietly, rolling onto his side to press a kiss to my forehead before pulling me into him absently.

A stomach is no place for butterflies. How dare you, Itachi Uchiha.

I breathed him in deeply, my face buried in his chest. It felt like I was coming down from a high, my entire body tingling and warm. I curled an arm around him and idly ran my finger tips in loose patterns across the skin of his back. We stayed like that, content and melting, for a long while before I felt the breath of a sigh across the top of my disheveled hair, followed by a mumbled comment about being undeserving.

"Hm?" I nuzzled into him more.

"It's late. We should get cleaned up and go to bed," he said, pulling away just enough to look down at me and tuck some loose hairs behind my ear with another sigh.

The sighs were beginning to worry me, as I couldn't tell if they were contented or not.

Isn't your birthday coming up? An Itachi translator would be nice… just sayin'.

"Is… everything okay?" I asked, hoping I was being paranoid. But I had seen a glimpse of sadness in Itachi just then and that, in tandem with the mysterious sighs, well I didn't like it, not one bit. That feeling of dread was only exacerbated by the ensuing silence.

"Itachi?" I prompted again, trying to tug out of his grip but he pulled me against him tighter, my face buried in his chest once more. The way he held me there, pressing his lips to the top of my head, it reminded me of something... reminded me of the way he had looked at me earlier, like I might just wisp away at any moment.

How could I show him I wasn't going anywhere? I'd already given him all of me after all. My teeth set to chewing on my lip as I recalled it in vivid detail.

"Yes. My apologies, just thinking," he said blankly and I could tell his thoughts were elsewhere. He loosened his hold.

"Thinking about…?" I pressed.

"About getting ready for bed. What do you say?"

"I say you're a bad liar," I tutted.

"Not at all. I have a very stringent bedtime routine that requires a great deal of thought."

There he is.

"Oh does it now? Well I'm very curious to find out what it entails then."

We were being playful again and I allowed myself an internal sigh of relief to squash the pit that had taken root in my stomach. As far as bedtime routines go, I imagined it wasn't his usual. He was astonishingly sweet with me, carrying me to the bathroom, making sure the water was warm before he helped me into the shower despite me being fully capable of doing it myself.

I had to assure him several times that I was okay as he repeatedly checked in with me using various rephrasings of, "you're sure you're alright?" and "I haven't hurt you?", always with a touch of his hand resting very low on my belly, a concerned bowing of his brow.

These questions came after he'd noticed the small, rust-colored rivulets flowing down from my thighs. It was no alarming shock of red, only faint ribbons, but enough to send him worrying nonetheless. Though there was a lingering soreness, it was one that I thought of fondly.

While I wanted for him to be at peace, there was admittedly a certain swell that I felt at being cared for. It was something I so rarely experienced that I didn't even feel childish when he quietly insisted on cleaning me, instead allowing it on the condition that I could do the same for him. He reluctantly agreed.

We were both unusually quiet as we took turns washing each other thoroughly and carefully, and though we were naked and at times, even pressed against each other or kissing, I wouldn't have dared to call it sexual. It was vulnerable and intimate and there was a certain sense of shared catharsis, but it was not sexual, it was something beyond that.

As we readied ourselves for bed, his clothes fitting loose and comfy on my small frame, I couldn't take my eyes off him, even through my yawns. If I thought I was enamored with him before, then I didn't know what to call this.

Except you do…

Hush.

My heart leapt into my throat when he gestured, albeit hesitantly, for me to crawl into bed next to him. I didn't worry about nightmares as I lulled to sleep that night with my back pressed against Itachi, clutching his arm which draped over me. It was a good night, and we told each other such before drifting off.

Notes:

Holy shit guys, if you made it through that whole thing I appreciate you.

One of my pet peeves is people writing virginity loss scenes where the chick is just like... immediately getting plowed lmao. So my characters may have been awkward and weird about it but I stand by it.

As always, thanks for reading my dears 3

Chapter 29: Resistance

Notes:

And here I was thinking I wouldn't be able to update today... mwehehe :3 Anyway, another longer one here

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

In stark contrast to how I fell asleep, I was cold when I awoke. Groggy and disoriented, sweating and breathless from a dream I couldn't remember, which may have been for the best based on my rapid heart rate. I grabbed at my stomach for Itachi's hand to pull him closer but all I felt was the fabric of my own shirt. I realized then that I didn't feel him against my back either.

Squinting my eyes open, it took several moments for them to adjust and recognize that I was no longer in Itachi's bed, but rather on the couch I had slept on every other night. I had either dreamt up the whole thing, walked out there in my sleep or Itachi had moved me. My stomach knotted as I opined over the most likely scenario.

My eyes throbbed with a dull ache, likely from the lack of sleep, and I replayed the previous night's events over and over in my head. Everything was perfect, there was no way Itachi would have just dumped me on the couch without warning in the middle of the night... right?

Itachi was a private person, maybe he realized that if I wasn't out there in the morning, people would go looking for me. Yes, maybe he was trying to spare me from the embarrassment of having to explain why they'd find me curled up in his clothes, in his bed, in his arms.

That was it, that was definitely it.

You need to talk to him, like now.

But that would be needy and clingy and probably twelve other undesirable adjectives I wasn't thinking of, and I was far too in my head about how I was supposed to act around him now that we had slept together.

Things were supposed to be different, right?... right?

Okay, fine, but at LEAST chew your nails.

That I could do. The only thing keeping me sane throughout the morning was the fact that I had another memory seal-breaking session with Itachi and Kisame coming up. I had been dreading it with how taxing it was on my body, but now it was my chance to see Itachi and hopefully quell the pit that comprised the entirety of my abdomen. I let my hand rest atop it and recalled once more, the events of last night.

The hours between when I woke up and when we were scheduled to meet crawled by. I hoped Itachi would make an appearance before then, but as time went by, the likelihood of that seemed to diminish. I passed on breakfast, not trusting my ability to keep food down with how anxious I had become.

"Hey kiddo, you ready?" Kisame asked, sauntering into the common room. I leapt off the couch before he even finished the question. "Wow, aren't you enthusiastic this morning," he commented with some amusement.

"Yeah, I um... I guess I'm just excited to get it over with, heh… heh," I lied, scratching my head and smiling. I followed him into a mostly empty chamber down a maze of halls.

Um… what.

My heart sank. Itachi wasn't there. Kakuzu was.

"Kakuzu's filling in for Itachi," Kisame noted casually.

"Is... Itachi okay?" I asked hesitantly, not sure how much I was letting on to my disappointment or that fact that anything had happened between us.

"Itachi? Please, he's always fine. Just said he was busy, asked for a stand-in," Kisame offered with a shrug. I tried with all my effort not to let the growing anxiety register on my face but despite my efforts, I could feel my mouth pulling into a taut line.

He asked for a stand in because he was busy ? Oh this did not bode well.

"You know the drill, go ahead and sit down between us. Might be a little longer this time with Kakuzu being an elderly man and all, so settle in," Kisame said, shooting Kakuzu a joking grin. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at him but didn't retort. He may have worn a smirk under his mask, but I couldn't tell for sure.

Kisame wasn't kidding though, it really did take longer. Around hour three my stomach was protesting loudly in addition to the waves of headache and nausea hitting me which I was familiar with from the other times. I felt like a fish out of water, all wet and sweaty and struggling to breathe. Kisame and Kakuzu looked to be deeply concentrating, both rigid and strained, especially as we rounded to the finish.

In the end, the whole thing lasted about five agonizing hours, during which I had nothing to do but sweat profusely and pine over Itachi. It was the worst torture I'd ever endured, and mind you, I had been stabbed in the leg once upon a time.

The final "pop" that always came with the seal breaking felt louder this time, brighter and somehow hot. I felt sick to my stomach as it burned through me.

"Alley oop," Kisame said gruffly as he heaved me up to my feet.

"Oh, thanks Kisame." I winced, feeling that familiar soreness run through my whole body, a lovely little after-effect of the process. "Thanks Kakuzu…" I added, realizing I had taken up his entire morning too. He stared back at me in response. It wasn't a glare so I took it as a win.

"You alright?" Kisame asked, his hand remaining on my shoulder to make sure I stayed upright.

"I can bring you back to the common room," He offered, already moving to take me into his arms. I stopped him.

"That's alright, I have to go to the bathroom anyway. I'm okay, really," I assured with a weak smile. Only I wasn't intending on going to the bathroom.

Standing outside Itachi's door with my hand poised to knock for a long time, I felt frozen in trying to muster the courage. There was a fear that, as terrible as my current state of unknowing was, perhaps knowing would prove to be even worse.

I reminded myself again that last night was literally perfect. I was in my head about it.

Things were fine.

It turned out I wouldn't need to work up the courage to knock, the door opened on it's own. Not wide, but a crack, Itachi's dark irises staring down at me from beyond it.

"Yes?" he asked in a way that made me flinch.

Oh. Things were not fine.

"I… can I come in?" I asked, finding my eyes instinctively sinking to the floor along with my stomach and every other organ in my body. The way he was looking at me reminded me of the first time I saw him. Like he didn't know me from a hill of beans.

"I'm... busy," he said coldly, also looking away. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

Swallowing down the lump in my throat and wiping the sweat from my forehead, I hesitated. I couldn't afford to just leave, I was going to implode if I didn't talk to him.

"Itachi, please," I pleaded, and as those words came out of my mouth, I could only think of how different they sounded compared to when I'd said them last night. I winced at the thought.

His eyes flickered over me, but it wasn't appraising in the way that he was checking up on me like normal. No, it was calculated like a predator does it's prey. He stepped away without a word, opening the door enough for me to enter, and I did so with a terrible feeling in my gut.

"So?" he questioned, not letting the silence settle.

My tongue moved around in my mouth uncomfortably, realizing it had suddenly gone dry. It took me a moment to find my voice. "I'm confused…"

"I can tell," he answered quickly without much emotion. There was a certain biting cold to his words that made me want to shrink in on myself.

"You weren't there today," I stated, but it was really a question.

"Correct. So far I don't understand your confusion. Like I said, I am busy. I trust Kisame and Kakuzu did just fine." He replied.

I could no longer resist the urge to shrink, my shoulders curling in and hands grabbing at my elbows. My chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself as I tried to process what was happening. I struggled to stay solidly on my feet, unbalanced from the body aches already but Itachi's sudden dismissiveness towards me was far more dizzying. My tongue clicked as I went to speak, the words coming a moment later.

"It's just that… well, last night-" I began. He cut me off abruptly.

"Last night was a mistake." He was stern and unwavering and when he saw me gaping at a loss for words, he took the opportunity to continue on. "It won't happen again, I can promise you that. We need not continue to interact outside of professional necessity."

My heart clenched horrendously in my chest, the tightness of it feeling like actual, physical pain and my hand instinctively clutched at it. I felt like I was about to topple over, my other hand shooting out behind me to hold myself up against the door.

"What is it now? Did I not explain it well enough to abate your confusion?" he asked, his eyes unchanging from how they looked the first moment he opened the door.

I stared at the bed behind him. I had been in it, beneath him, just last night not even twelve hours ago. Could that Itachi and the person in front of me really be the same? My face felt like pins and needles, a numbness spreading across it with an unbearable heat as my thoughts began to spiral into dangerous territory.

"I-I don't understand… s-so you don't want me talking to you any… anymore?" I couldn't keep the tremble out of my voice any more than I could from my hands. Soon my entire body would be shaking.

"Correct. It would seem you're no longer confused, then."

I wanted to wretch, I nearly did. My face went red as I thought about the position I was in last night, the things we had done, how he had seen me, and now this is what I had become to him overnight. "I don't… I-I don't understand," I said with a strained choking noise. "Are you... m-mad at me?... What did I d-do?"

He seemed to grow frustrated which was the first actual emotion I had seen from him. Like he couldn't believe I was making him explain further.

"Mad at you? I am not anything at you. I don't know how to make this any simpler, Izumi."

I stared up at him horrified. I couldn't believe this was the same Itachi from last night who peppered me with affection and held me through my pain. Now he didn't seem to mind being the source of it. I clutched harder at my chest as my breathing came out in shallow bursts. The anguish flaring and overtaking me, I couldn't put it into words. I stammered out a few different syllables as if trying to start a plethora of various sentences but none of them came to fruition.

"If that's all, you can leave." Itachi eventually said.

"O-okay…" I choked out, turning slowly and unsteadily to the door. His hand slammed against it as I began to open it. I flinched, freezing in place with my hand on the door handle. I could feel him lean into me from behind, the heat of his breath falling upon the back of my neck as he spoke.

"I'm s…" he started to say something before cutting himself off with a frustrated growl of a sigh, settling on something else a second later. "Do not come back here. That is the final rule. Do you understand?" His voice was barely above a whisper yet somehow strained.

My eyes were wide and staring straight ahead at the woodgrain of the door with laser focus despite the tears flowing from them. I nodded my head jerkily and mechanically. He removed his weight from the door and it opened enough for me to slip out, my heart breaking into a thousand pieces as I did so.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to wail and howl and shriek until my vocal chords gave out. How could I have been so stupid and naive? To think I had been falling for a man that I knew killed his entire family. What did I think would happen? Did I think there was somehow a misunderstanding and he was secretly good ? He got what he wanted from me, of course this would be the result.

I absolutely hated myself.

It's okay, Izumi… he had both of us fooled.

I knew things were bad when my alter was supportive.

I only made it a few steps down the hallway, hyperventilating uncontrollably, before leaning against the wall and sliding down it, crumbling into a mess of arms and legs grabbing at myself. Heaving sobs racked my body in contradiction to the far-too-fast breathing that tore from me. I tried desperately to pull myself together, to just breathe in and out like a normal person, but the numbness in my face had replicated itself in my hands as well and the descent down the spiral was quick and merciless.

And so the mystery was soIved. The ledge I had leapt off last night, Itachi and I plunging into its depths together… that was no longer the case. Looking around I would see that I was alone, and once I had finally reached that darkness to find out what lay beyond, I discovered it was an endless expanse of just that. Darkness.

Get up, girl. Don't let them see you like this.

Fair. I pushed myself to my feet in a quick movement, thinking maybe I could at least find a less-trafficked hallway or broom closet to sob my heart out in. Standing was a bad idea. A bout of vertigo struck me back to the ground where I stayed, struggling with my hiccuping, overwrought breathing.

I didn't know how long I'd been there for but I was past the point of embarrassment and only happy to see Kakuzu come down the hall. I wasn't sure I could deal with someone like Deidara, he'd be worried and have a million questions, none of which I'd be interested in entertaining. Kakuzu was ideal because while he wouldn't care to hear about it, he would likely, though begrudgingly, help me.

"What's with you being in a constant state of distress…" he muttered, voice gruff as ever as he came upon me.

Perfect.

"I'm not feeling well…" I answered, technically truthfully, looking up at him with swollen, heavy eyelids. I extended my arms up and as I'd hoped, but also to my surprise, he yanked me up by my wrists and hefted me into his arms.

"You're a pain in the ass," he grumbled.

"I know… I'm sorry," I mumbled, turning into him. He may not have been my person of choice to seek comfort from necessarily, but I was desperate to dull the ache that expanded in my chest. He didn't stop me from pulling myself up against him, arms looping around his shoulders and neck, my forehead resting in the crook of his collar. I sniffled as my eyes welted once more at just the thought of Itachi's cutting words, but I managed to hold it at bay and not degrade further into a blubbering mess.

"What's all this about?" he eventually asked impatiently. And here I was thinking he'd never ask.

"I'm just… tired," my voice cracked as I spoke barely audibly into his collar.

He sighed heavily. "I'm too old for this shit." I heard him mutter, but that's all he said before he continued on, trudging at a slow pace down the meandering hallways and, I suspect, taking a few long detours, hefting me once more to readjust me closer to him. I sniffled again, preparing for my free ride to be over soon as I was well aware that taking the long way to let me calm down a bit was the extent of Kakuzu's generosity. I was certain he was taking me out to the common room where I would be under the scrutiny of whoever was out there, if anyone, and I was absolutely in no mood for it.

"Do I smell bad or something?" Kakuzu asked, assumedly in reference to my incessant sniffling. I stifled an exhausted, abrupt snort, stunned into a short burst of laughter by Kakuzu's very uncharacteristic attempt at humor.

"Did... you just... make a joke?" I grumbled in awe.

"Absolutely not." He said flatly. "Smell a man enough times and he'll begin to wonder."

I laughed lightly, tiredly. "I'll keep that in mind…" I had no wit left in me but I appreciated the ounce of humor he'd provided all the same.

"We're almost there. I trust you have your affairs in order."

And by affairs I'm sure he meant sniffles.

"Yes," I answered quietly, letting myself fall away from him so I was draped in his arms like a ragdoll. I wiped at my eyes and cheeks with the backs of my hands and looked up to Kakuzu. He glanced down with a stoic expression.

"Thank you..." I said quietly. He grunted in affirmation before bringing me out into the common room and slumping me onto the couch. The room was thankfully empty otherwise. Without another word, he left. I promptly wrapped myself in blankets, willing myself to fall asleep once more. Anything was better than being awake at that point.

Wrong again.

The nightmare started the same way it always does, with the baby, with Aki. But this time it went further, the newly broken seal pulling the curtain back a bit more, just another glimpse beyond.

But I didn't want to see. I tried to cover my eyes but it was just so bright .

It was from the fire.

Roaring, destructive fire. The smell of it on flesh was beyond putrid and the sounds it drew from grown men were nothing short of absolute agony. That's why they were all screaming, all those voices coming out of that baby. Because of the burning. The searing pain. They were alive when it happened, not even lucky enough to pass out from the smoke first.

Staring into the glowing, incendiary yellows and oranges, I squinted. There was something in the flames, in the distance. No, not in them. In front of them. They were merely a backdrop for this one, lone figure, merely a shadow. But a part of me knew it was something much more terrible.

The figure called out to me and I began to shake uncontrollably. But it was an odd sort of feeling, not like my body was shivering but like it was being shaken. My name again, louder this time, by someone familiar.

I startled awake with a bizarre sort of strangled cry that my ears only caught the end of. Opening my eyes revealed to me that it was Kisame's deep, gruff voice shouting my name, coupled with his hands gripping and jostling me about.

"Ki… Kisame?" I felt delirious as I clutched at him, trying to gather my bearings. It took me a moment but I realized I was there, in the common room, and not in a field full of people being burned alive. I had to admit, there was a certain relief that came with that. "Geez Kisame," I sighed, letting myself lean into him.

"God kid, I couldn't tell if you were getting murdered or plowed in whatever dream you were having."

"Kisame!" I hissed at his crudeness, pushing him away. He laughed.

"What? It was hard enough to wake you up, practically gave you shaken baby syndrome for fuck's sake. Everything okay in there?" he asked, rapping his fingers against my skull.

I only grunted and swatted his hand away before rubbing my eyes with a wince. I wondered if I should talk to him about Itachi. Kisame was his wingman after all. It would be the right thing to do, letting him know he was out of job and all.

"Hey, I know that I'm hilarious and all but I'm also being serious. You alright?" He tilted his head down to meet my eyeline.

"Yeah, I'm… well, no… not really," I admitted, not even enough mental capacity to lie, "but... can we talk about it later?"

"Sure, kid. You just let me know," he said hesitantly. "Hey if I leave you alone in here you're not gonna start screaming again, are you? It's super inconvenient since my room is the closest, you know."

Curse you, Kisame. I'm over here trying to be upset, you know. Quit it with your snark.

"I'll certainly try my best not to. So sorry to have disturbed you, Kisame-sama." I said with a smirk. He returned a toothy grin of his own before retiring once again to his room.

I quietly grabbed a book. Laying on my side, partially curled in a ball, I flipped through the pages with a dull stare painted on my face. I read the words on the pages but I thought of Itachi.

There were many snapshots of him I would forever hold in my memory from that night, whether or not that was a good thing, but there was one in particular that played on a repetitive, flickering reel in my head. It was there in that comfortably quiet, steaming shower with the water hitting my back. Itachi had just broken from the kind of kiss that makes you lose track of time, lingering there against my lips to plant one more, then another, still one more. His fingertips buried in my messy, wet hair, thumbs gently angling my jaw up to meet him. We were no longer kissing to ramp up to something more, this was the something more. And it felt beautiful and perfect and like it could come all crashing down at any moment for some reason and maybe that's why we were so intent on never letting it end.

It took too many tries to break away from that kiss, but simultaneously there could have never been enough. The way he looked down at me, still with my face held delicately there in his hands, I couldn't believe my knees didn't give out. But I stayed standing, and he was the one dropping to his knees. I could do nothing but watch him as his hands slid down my sides, coming to rest lightly on each hip, squeezing gently, his forehead hitting against my belly button. He stayed there like that, both of us did, just letting the water wash over us for a long time. There was something painfully sorrowful about it and I couldn't understand why. I brought my hands to his hair, smoothing down and over it repeatedly with the whisper of his name on my lips. He stirred from whatever stasis held him there, just slightly, just enough to angle his head up and press a kiss into my belly, low and centered on my waistline. His lips felt like they might burn through the skin and I felt a flood of melancholy wash over me as well.

"It's okay," was all I whispered. I wasn't even sure what was wrong, or what was okay. But I wanted him to believe that it was. That it would be. I was so wrong.

Several people milled in and out of the common area over the course of the afternoon, none of them being Itachi, and I grew tired of the questions and stares and whispers.

Hidan would be the next person to put me up on the stand. He swaggered in slowly with a yawn, shirtless as always, picking at his fingernails as he plopped down at the far end of the couch by my feet. I moved them just in time to avoid my ankles being squashed. He casually grabbed them and dragged them back to rest on his lap once he settled in.

"Oh sorry, I heard you were trying to become one with the couch. Almost didn't see you there." He feigned obliviousness.

"Hidan…" I scolded half-heartedly with a scowl.

"Izumi," he mocked me with a disgruntled look which slowly transformed into a smirk. I rolled my eyes like he was an annoyance but the feeling of his hands resting atop my ankles was admittedly a small comfort.

"Alright, alright, so who do I need to beat up?" He questioned half-jokingly but stared at me in waiting for an answer quite seriously.

"I just don't feel good after the memory thing," I sighed, tired of lying.

"Seems a lot fucking worse than last time," he speculated suspiciously. He really was more observant than he got credit for. At least, he was when it came to me anyway… I realized for the first time.

Odd.

I shrugged. "Maybe each one gets worse," I suggested.

"Pfft, if that's true then based on this," he loosely gestured to me, "the last one is gonna turn you into a pile of fucking jello."

"That doesn't sound so bad," I said thoughtfully. "Being jello could be fun. I wouldn't need to worry about anything at least. Plus I'd be tasty."

"Nah, you'd be the worst kind. You'd be lime jello." He said, absent-mindedly pulling the hems of my pant legs up to examine my ankles. They were still a little bruised and were one of the areas that didn't receive initial treatment since they weren't usually visible.

"I would not be lime…" I grumbled at him.

"You're literally turning green already." He raised my leg up to show me my yellowish-greenish ankle. "Fuck,this is worse than I thought, you'd be lemon-lime ." He grimaced dramatically.

"Oh and I suppose you'd be a better flavor?" I challenged with a raised brow.

"Tch, obviously. I'd be cherry." He said with confidence and that charming grin of his.

"Why, because you're always covered in blood?"

"You know Izumi, I don't care what people say, you're not as dumb as you look." He said with mock sincerity. I threw my book at him which he seemed to enjoy since he let it hit him with a smile, the glutton for toture.

"You're the idiot here, talking to me about what kind of jello we'd be…" I chided.

"Hey now, this is what we call a fucking intellectual conversation." He tutted while standing to leave, my feet finding their way back to the empty cushion. I didn't like it. Even if I feigned annoyance, I liked talking about jello with Hidan. For all the issues I had with him over the course of my time with the Akastuki, I had to admit he had grown on me and he was the only thing taking my mind off other things .

"Where are you going?" I asked without really thinking, immediately scolding myself inwardly for sounding so clingy.

Haven't you learned your lesson?

"Why, you gonna miss me?" He asked, cocking his head with a smirk. And there it was, exactly what I was afraid of.

"It was just a question…" I mumbled, quickly averting my gaze.

Hidan leaned in, his hands stuffed casually into his pockets. "That's not a 'no'," he said with a wink. "And seeing as you're partially fucking fused to the couch at this point, I guess I don't need to tell you not to go anywhere, but I'll be right back."

He paused before he turned to leave, picking up the book I had thrown, opening it haphazardly to the middle. "Here, you were reading this, right?" he said, tossing it on top of my face, the inner spine hugging my nose and forehead.

"Hidan!" I rebuked, muffled by the pages. By the time I snatched it off my face he was already heading off down the hallway, whistling innocently.

I originally thought I wanted to be left alone but I realized then that I just wanted to be distracted, so I was thankful that Hidan didn't take long to come back. I watched him approach from the shadows of the hallway as he nonchalantly tossed about a small, familiar container. He lobbed it over his shoulder, deftly catching it behind him with his other hand before bringing it back around to open it. It was filled with a yellow oil, the same kind he had applied to my neck. It was weird to think that wasn't even a week ago.

"Show off." I rolled my eyes with a small smile. He flashed a grin in response as he returned to the same spot on the couch, my feet moving and repositioning themselves on his thighs once more. He quickly took to yanking my pant bottoms up to my knees.

"Ya know…" he began, dipping his fingers into the viscous oil, "most people have to pay for something like this." His fingers moved thoroughly across my skin, a glossy sheen covering every spot they touched. His hands worked over my right ankle slowly and firmly, though not enough to hurt. In fact, it felt far from painful. I had to work at keeping my mouth shut so as to not embarrass myself with any small noises of relief begging to escape me. Even if they weren't sexual, I knew he would make it that way.

"So, should I be flattered that I'm not most people... or should I be preparing to give you what little coin I have to my name?" I asked evenly, trying not to let on how he was affecting me.

He glanced up at me with a wry smirk before returning his attention to my limbs. "Who said I get paid in coin ?" he asked, giving my ankle a particularly deep squeeze, his thumb pressing in and pushing along my achilles tendon and up my calf muscle.

And that's what did it. That's what drew one of those embarrassing little noises out of me that I was so trying to avoid. It was barely a whisper, a fleeting, sharp exhale of relief, coupled with an involuntary fluttering of my eyelids closing for the briefest of moments. When I opened them again, they immediately sought out Hidan to make sure he hadn't noticed. Much to my dismay, I was met with his very intense gaze, the corners of his lips upturned in such a way that led me to believe I had given him exactly what he was trying for.

"Feel good?" He asked, tilting his head and clearly already knowing the answer based on his cocky expression. His hands worked expertly up my calf, kneading and squeezing, gliding along my skin easily, slick from the oil, and he did so without taking his eyes from mine.

"Yes," I breathed out, immediately wincing at how I sounded. His smile only grew. Had Itachi not pulled a 180 on me, I would have been stopping Hidan right about now… but I had no reason to now, not if it was the only thing pulling me back from the brink.

"You catching a cold or something? Sounds like you're losing your voice." He asked in a genuine tone but the look on his face made it all too clear that he knew very well that I was not catching a freaking cold.

I shook my head, opting out of saying anything more.

"You want me to stop?" He asked, his thumbs rubbing slow, deep circles into the muscle of my calf before coming to a halt, awaiting my answer.

"No," I whined with a slight groan as he stopped. His eyes seemed to darken as he took in my response, the arrogant amusement on his face fading and shifting to a more serious, hungrier expression. His lips parted just slightly, tongue pressed against the back of his teeth, as he watched me intently.

His hands travelled smoothly up and over my knee, fingers snaking their way under the rolled-up pant legs and squeezing firmly around the tops of my thighs. I fought hard against the soft sigh in my throat but I couldn't stop my eyes from closing with a flutter, my brows knitting together as a heat washed over my face.

I was thankful Hidan's hands felt so different from Itachi's. Even with my eyes closed they could never be mistaken as the same. Itachi had a certain gentle grace about him. Even when he was dominating me, he was controlled, concise. Hidan was rough and chaotic, unapologetically so. While I still couldn't seem to take my mind completely away from Itachi, even now under the hands of Hidan, I couldn't bear to be reminded of my misstep more than necessary.

When I was able to open my eyes I found that Hidan was gazing at me with an expression that made me think he was enjoying this more than I was. Brows together in concentration, he raised them and pushed his chin forward in an encouraging way as his hands traveled further up towards the middle of my thighs before squeezing again, slightly harder this time.

"Hidan," I gasped in shock at the tremor it sent ricocheting through my legs. They would continue to quiver for the next few seconds against my will, I was finding out that they liked to do that...

My face ignited once more and swaths of blanket spilled out from between my fingers as I subconsciously gripped them tightly. I thought of Itachi's rules somewhere in the back of my head. Hidan's teeth found his lip and bit down hard as he watched me with expanding pupils. I suddenly became all too aware of our location in the common room.

"Hidan," I breathed again, swallowing hard before following up quickly, "I need to stop." I took a deep breath in an attempt to override the pace it was trying to come out in. I was pretty sure people got massages every day and managed to not dissolve into absolute jello. The jello-related irony was not lost on me.

Hah.

Hidan and his voracious gaze held onto me for a moment, unwavering, as if needing time to process this request. He blinked once, then again, the control over his expression seemed to slowly come back as he teeth released their hold on his swollen bottom lip. He looked back down to my legs with a slow nod and his hands withdrew from their position on my thighs, though not with any haste and not without grazing along the entire length before ending up at my ankles again. His usual cocky smile found its way back on his face as he rubbed them casually like he had at the very beginning.

"So... what badge does that get me in the Izumi fanclub?" He asked. I choked on a laugh, not expecting the question.

"Okayest leg rub," I replied as coolly as I could, still recovering.

" Okayest ?" he scoffed. "Let me take you to another room and I'll show you how okay it can be. Legs are nothing, I give a really fucking good back rub, ya know." He offered in a challenging way.

"I don't have bruises there," I retorted quickly, thankful to have facts on my side.

"You don't have bruises on your thighs either but I didn't hear you complaining." He called me out before adding, "And if we're saying fucking bruise location is what gets the go-ahead, then I guess that means I can get those ones on your hips next?" He nonchalantly flicked the hem of my shirt up a few inches, exposing the obvious finger-spaced bluish purple spots marking my pale skin just above the top of my pants.

I immediately hated the facts.

"No." I said, decidedly blunt.

"You know you make me crazy, right?" He asked in a low timbre, dragging his nails up my shins and subsequently sending a shiver down my spine.

"You were already crazy," I retorted in a huff as I grabbed my book and pretended to be interested in it.

"Oi, where the fuck did these ones come from? These weren't there before." Hidan was suddenly grabbing my forearm. I dropped the book as his hand yanked my wrist toward him, he scrutinized it with narrowed eyes before looking back to me for an explanation. I hadn't realized Itachi left any marks but there they were and I knew undoubtedly it had been from last night.

"You keeping a running list of my injuries now?" I asked defensively.

"You working on creative ways to avoid answering questions now?" He retorted, unblinking.

"Hidan," Itachi's voice cut through the air, instantly reducing me to a frozen, timid, shrinking version of myself. Speak of the Devil.

"What?" Hidan whined, unphased and unabashed by Itachi's sudden presence. He didn't bother moving my legs off him, instead his one hand continued to rest across my ankles, his other still had my forearm firmly captured. And there I was, looking like a hot mess with a tangle of hair, red, puffy eyes, my shirt flipped up to my navel, and covered in bruises and oil.

"Pain would like to see you in his office. New assignments." He said plainly. He glanced at me for only a moment, his eyes moving across my form quickly, stopping briefly on my injuries, the spots on my wrists in particular.

"Fucking hell…" Hidan cursed before turning to me. "We'll fucking talk about this later," he waggled my wrist, giving me a pointed look, before letting it free. I quickly pulled it back against me while tugging my shirt down. Hidan's absence left just Itachi and me. I wanted nothing more than to be able to turn into a turtle and recess into my shell.

I expected him to just leave, after all he's the one that told me to stop talking to him, so it surprised me when he suddenly approached. I had a thousand questions but they all sounded so desperate and I honestly didn't think I could bear his answers. I opted to keep them in my head, remaining frozen as he loomed over me. I took note of his eyeline narrowing in on my wrist and I shrunk into the couch as much as possible but there was no point.

His hand easily pulled mine up, my sleeve loose enough to shift down my arm when held upright. Itachi stared with an indiscernible, perturbed expression which quickly devolved into outright resentment. His brows angled severely before blinking his eyes shut with frustration, letting out a pained sigh.

"Pathetic," he muttered, pushing my hand away from him. I pulled it back into me and held it there against my chest which tightened horribly as I watched him walk away. Then came the tears again. Back to square one.

I needed to talk to Kisame.

His room was always the easiest to find because, as he said, it was the closest to the common room. Not only that, but I had painted a cute, little blue fish with legs on it one particularly boring day, and he miraculously allowed it to stay. I stared at the fish as I raised my hand to knock.

"Hey kiddo, was wondering when you'd be by." He said, opening the door. It was unnerving how all these guys could sense me coming. "You look like hell," he added.

"Really? That's so weird because I feel great." I said with a weak smile and an eyeroll. He chuckled and stepped aside for me to come in. It wasn't at all what I planned on, but once I got in there and looked up at Kisame and his big, stupid, blue, grinning face, I practically launched myself into him. He let out a surprised little grunt before landing on another chuckle, his hands heavy on top of my head and shoulders.

"Oh boy… so what'd he do?" Kisame asked with a sigh, ruffling my hair and giving me a little squeeze. I pulled back lazily and unmussed my hair in a rather grumbly fashion.

Straight to the point then.

I didn't know where to start or how much I should divulge. He took note of my internal struggle, mouth open but no words forming, and promptly plucked me up to plop me on his oversized bed.

"You looked like you were using half your brainpower just to stand upright, don't want you hurting yourself," he teased, grabbing himself a chair and flipping it around, sitting on it backwards with his arms folded over the back of it, chin resting atop those. Waiting ever so patiently.

Men really do love gossip .

I let out an exhausted huff. "I know you said he'd try to push me away but it was… not what I expected. It was a lot… worse?"

"Ah, so he's already started on his bullshit," he said in understanding. A frustrated eye roll.

"Yeah... but I really don't think it's an act, Kisame. He was like… like a different person," I said, choosing to remain vague still.

"Alright well give me the hot goss, the dirt, the deets. What'd he say?" He pressed, scooting his chair forward and leaning in even more.

"Well, he pretty much told me to leave him alone…" I tried not to sound as defeated as I was. "...to not talk to him again... outside of a professional capacity."

"Is that all?" He snorted like it was nothing.

Well… minus the unimportant detail that we slept together.

"Basically." I held myself by the arm, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Here's the thing. Itachi is… I'll say unique . Relentlessly tortured to point that it's honestly fucking annoying. He'll take every opportunity to shut down unless you don't give him the option." Kisame delved into a long-winded explanation and psychiatric evaluation of Itachi Uchiha.

I shook my head. "I don't think you understand. He was… mean ."

"Heh… kid, you don't know what 'mean' is. No offense."

I snorted at his condescension.

Hi. Was literally tortured here, in case you forgot.

"Look, all I'm saying is that I know the guy and, without getting too mushy, he's different with you, I mean fuck, a lot of these guys are, but nevermind them. He's different with you. Trust me, if you march in there and don't take no for an answer, it's not the one you'll get. He'll fold."

I was pleased to understand the poker reference.

I heaved out a hopeless sigh of monstrous proportions, bringing my hands up to rub my eyes. "I think you give me too much credit."

"And I think you give yourself too little."

"Well that's because I'm a useless little pipsqueak… and he's Itachi Uchiha." I reminded, just to give him some perspective.

"And yet, I'm pretty sure you're the only person on this earth that might be able to bring that man to his knees."

It struck a chord. There was no way he could understand the depth and context of that comment. I recalled that moment in the shower once more, as I had already done repeatedly throughout the day. Itachi, on his knees, pressing a kiss into the heat of my pelvis, as if it could truly heal any damage he'd done. Somewhere between repentant and worshipping. I flushed at the thought and forced myself back to reality.

"Let's pretend you're not wrong…" I began.

"I hate pretending, can we just say I'm actually not wrong?" Kisame interrupted.

"No. We're pretending," I scolded.

He waited for me to continue with a scowl and I tried not to let my amusement creep in. We were talking serious business.

" Anyway ," I began again, folded arms and a stern look cast in his direction, "pretending you're not wrong... what am I supposed to say to him?" I finally asked.

He grunted out a short burst of a laugh. "You're asking the wrong guy. You're the wordsmith here, remember? Witty mouth or something like that? Oh hey, why don't you try one of those hugs, that was… kind of nice… I guess," He said, scratching his head and looking down, a somewhat darker shade of blue tinting his cheeks. It was adorable .

"When was the last time you got a hug, Kisame? Besides just now, of course." I asked, having no right to tease him considering my recent foray into hugging territory but doing it anyway.

Again, he was laughing in a way that led me to interpret it as never .

"Well, glad I could end your dry spell then," I teased.

"Dry spell? Who said anything about a dry spell? In fact, just the other-"

He was now talking about something else. Definitely not hugging. I quickly interrupted him.

" Thank you , Kisame-sama, for your time and wisdom, as always." I tipped an imaginary hat at him. He promptly plucked said hat from my hands and put it on his head smugly so I couldn't reach.

"I'll get that back when you least expect it," I warned as I opened the door to leave, despite not being quite ready to leave the warm, comfortableness of Kisame's room. Not when I had nothing but uncertainty waiting for me outside it.

"So, you gonna talk to him?" he asked as I passed under the door frame, my fingers clinging to the inside of it subconsciously. His countenance was unusually humorless.

I nodded. "I think so… soon anyway. Maybe in the morning."

"Good." He ruffled my hair once more and put the hat back on me, tying imaginary straps beneath my chin. I couldn't help but snort, nodding in thanks. It would save me the trouble of stealing it back later.

At least I had a plan, a bit more confidence than before, and an invisible hat no less.

All very important things.

Notes:

I'M SORRY, Y'ALL. What a mess, let the drama BEGIN.

Chapter 30: Break

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I laid on that couch staring at the ceiling for longer than I cared to admit. Sleep tempted me but the nightmares that lied just beyond it abated those desires. My nails were chewed to nublets and the bags beneath my eyes were fit to carry groceries by the time my body physically shut down without any input from my brain.

According to the clock, it was 2:33 am when I jolted upright, tired eyes scanning the room impressively fast, though not as quick as my heart rate which had me feeling like it was auditioning for a drumline. That was an interesting image and I'll admit I dwelled on it a bit too long.

Shockingly, it was not a nightmare that tore me awake, but rather, that haunting feeling of being watched. Again . Yes, the same one I had felt on several occasions, though only deep within the halls, never out in the open common room like this.

You're losing it even more.

I swept the room once, twice, five times… maybe it was just me.

Refer to my previous comment.

I couldn't shake it though, not even as minutes passed by, sitting in quiet speculation, chest tightening with every breath. Something was wrong. I couldn't explain but every bone in my body, all at once, suddenly screamed at me to run.

And I did.

I flounced my way down hall after hall like I had never run a day in my life, which wasn't too far from the truth in all fairness. I knew I wasn't supposed to go see Itachi, but between the sleeplessness, my questionable instincts, and the raw fear causing the blood to pump audibly in my ears, I wasn't exactly in the mindset to make, what we in the biz call, "smart decisions". I just wanted to feel safe, and he was the unfortunate association I had with that word.

I needed to talk to him anyway. No time like the present.

There I was, at his door. I had two reasons to be there, one was the feeling, the very odd, tangible sensation that I had not been alone, but also Itachi. Just Itachi.

You're obsessed. This is a bad idea.

My brain fought with my hand and my hand won out, rapping impatiently against his door.

Nothing.

He's probably sleeping like a normal human does at 3 am. Ya know… like you should be doing.

I felt the swell of anxious energy inside me and I had this crazy notion that just seeing him might dissolve it. Another swift knock. I was bouncing up and down on my toes as I waited, glancing nervously at each end of the hall.

I was about to knock again when I heard his voice from the other side of the door. A murmur from just behind it. "You never were good at following rules…" accented by a sigh and quickly followed up by a louder, impatient tone, "It's late, Izumi. Go back to bed." He did not open the door.

"Please, Itachi… I-I don't feel good. I have a bad feeling," I said, unsure how to explain, especially through the freaking door no less.

"Bed," he ordered again. He sounded tired. Or maybe he was just tired of me .

Well if you're doing this, then really do it. Don't take "no" for an answer, remember?

Oh biscuits. It was a lot harder in real life than it had been in my head. The confidence Kisame had instilled in me must have had a same day expiration date or something because it had gone sour fast . I really should have paid more attention to that. I also couldn't seem to find my invisible hat. Could this night get any worse?

"Itachi, please, I… there's something wrong. Can you let me in?" I pleaded.

A moment of silence passed followed by a click, the sound of the handle turning. It was deja vu as Itachi stood there looking down at me from the space of the cracked door. He didn't have to say anything, his frigid annoyance was written all over his face, demanding an explanation.

"I just… I feel scared… and weird. Like someone is watching me…" I explained, suddenly feeling sweltering hot under his gaze. I tugged at my collar.

"This may come as a shock to you, Izumi, but not everyone takes such an interest in you."

Ouch.

"I… I know that," I felt like I was already fighting back tears. This was not going to be easy, not if he was already on the attack. "I just... it's not the first time I've felt it and… well... I thought you might… help…me?" I winced at the end as his stalwartly stoic countenance didn't shift favorably. I realized how absurd I was sounding the further I went on and I had a feeling, based on Itachi's grimace, that the questions he would hit back with would hit hard. And boy did they. With gusto. And by "gusto" I mean a detached and indignant irritation, of course.

"Izumi," he was pinching the bridge of his nose, but this time it was not out of sexual frustration, just the regular kind.

Disappointing.

He whipped the door open all the way and stepped toward me. I usually enjoyed our size difference as his larger form made me feel safe when he caged himself around me, but now he was looming in a way that intimidated me into stumbling backwards a step.

"What do I need to say to you to get it through your simple head that I do not want you coming here. Hm?" He spoke in a low, tight voice, his words crisply annunciated, all edges and sharpness.

"I just thought…" I started quietly, wringing the fingers of one hand with the other. He cut me off.

"No. You weren't thinking. If you had an ounce of thought in you, you wouldn't be standing in front of me like some child that had a bad dream." He didn't sound angry, he just sounded done. Somehow, that seemed worse.

Where's that backbone…? I know I put it around here somewhere…

"How can you stand to speak like this to me after how you were with me last night?" I pushed out in a huff, wiping an errant tear away roughly with the back of my hand before clenching both my hands into little balls at my sides.

Hey, there it is. Close enough, anyway.

He regarded me silently. His face was placid but I saw his eyes shift over me like he wasn't expecting that, and worse yet, really wishing I hadn't. Now that he was the speechless one, I took a page from his book and just kept going while I had it in me.

"I'm not buying this… this… whatever this is that you're doing!" I whipped my arms in the air in frustration.

"So you've woken me up in the dead of the night to tell me you're in denial?" he bit back calmly, leaning against the door frame.

"I-I think you're the one in denial." I flinched at my stutter but pressed on. "You're pushing me away and I... I don't understand why, but… you can't tell me you don't feel this," I said quietly, losing my edge in an instant, brows arched in a desperate plea, hands pressed and splayed over my heart.

"Tell me what is giving you this impression so I can disassemble it for you." His voice was dangerously low and his eyes darkened by the shadows cast upon them.

Sorry Kisame, but I need some credibility here.

"Kisame warned me you would do this..." I admitted.

"Kisame did, did he?" Itachi reflected on this flatly. "Well let me tell you something about Kisame. Kisame likes to meddle and he thinks he knows more than he does."

Itachi was smart, probably smarter than anyone else I knew. Was it so absurd to think he had Kisame fooled as well? I had taken his advice as fact, as gospel, like no one could have known Itachi better and it couldn't possibly be misinformed, but I was beginning to question if we were both made fools in this game.

I couldn't keep it up much longer. The burning behind my eyes had brought upon the start of welting tears. I really only had one thing in my arsenal and if that didn't work, I feared it would break me to pieces.

"You're lying, you're always a bad liar." I shook my head. Maybe in disbelief at the things he was saying, maybe as a warning to myself to shut up. I wasn't sure.

His mouth set into a taut line, sending me a forbidding look that cautioned me not to push this further.

"It is time for you to leave, Izumi. Now ." He spoke slowly and there was a small space between each word that reminded me of when parents reprimand their children in this sort of universal code that indicated it would be the final warning.

It sent a chill down my spine.

He's so close to breaking.

"Itachi…" I said quietly, exasperated, daring to step forward and close the space between us. "You don't need to do this alone… you may not think it, but... you deserve to be loved and I… I" He cut me off.

"Izumi… don't ." Itachi commanded in a rush. The look he was casting down quite literally petrified me. It had gone from an apathetic callousness to something different. I wasn't even sure if he realized he'd lost control of that poker face, the cracks showing a glimpse of something beneath. Something filled with dread, defensive and fearful. It reminded me of an animal being backed into a corner.

I shook my head, not breaking our locked gaze defiantly. Both hands reaching up to lay against his chest, fingers gripping into his shirt, scratching against the skin beneath.

His body went rigid beneath my touch, taking in a very controlled breath through his nostrils and holding it there, expressing his most dire warning yet with only the look in his eyes, and a slight, slow shake of his head. Everything inside me told me to shut my mouth and go, but I knew I would regret it forever if I didn't try.

Three words. Three words said with an ache, a plea so desperate for him to not only only hear them, but understand that I meant them. Even if it went against all reason or logic. Even if he was an S-class missing-nin and I was just some girl. I knew for longer than I cared to admit. It was intrinsic, it was palpable in the air around him, this magnetic pull I had felt always edging me closer to him. I had felt it for a long time and it frightened me to my core to finally say it out loud. But I did.

Three words. Three words was all it took for Itachi Uchiha to break, though not in the way I wanted.

The moment they fell from my lips, his face twisted with the worst expression I've ever seen on him. Like he couldn't believe I could be so stupid. That I could make such a careless mistake. Like he could not believe what I was about to make him do.

He started by wrenching my hands away from him, squeezing my wrists painfully tight and walking me back against the wall. His mask had all but shattered and the look of resentment that blared out at me was enough to fracture my heart on the spot.

Looking up at him and being met with the face of someone who looked like they had never hated anyone more, well, I imagine my own resembled someone who had just eaten a lemon.

What have you done, Izumi?

"Love me?" He almost choked on the word, like it was some vile thing that left a bad taste. "You don't even know me. Here is the truth, Izumi. I thought to spare you from it but it sounds like you need to hear it. I was attempting to meet a very base desire while in an inebriated state last night. Such things are usually beneath me, but at the end of the day, I am a man and you were convenient, so yes, I fucked you. You gave it a cute attempt. Let's not make this more than it needs to be."

I had imagined that when the world crumbled from beneath me, it would be this big dramatic thing. An awe-inspiring, chaotic event in which I would pull apart at the seams and float off into a hundred pieces with a dreadful, drawn out tearing noise. But it wasn't that. It was practically silent, in fact. I cringed. That's all. My face, my entire body, somehow all of me cringed simultaneously when he said it. But that was it. I couldn't seem to move, or speak or even blink. The tightness in my chest seemed to spread through my whole body causing it to seize up and just...kind of… stay there. I vaguely felt the warmth of tears streaming down my cheeks. I stared ahead.

" So yes, I fucked you ."

He was so matter-of-fact in his frustration. It repeated in my head a thousand times over within the course of a second. He never spoke like that, certainly not to me. It was so beneath him. But so was I now, so perhaps I was just seeing what had been behind the curtain this whole time.

I continued to stare.

"Go," he said, quiet and sour, stepping aside.

I didn't look at him. I couldn't. I was slow in my steps but I managed to move, staring ahead. The door shut behind me. I heard something against it. A thud. A sliding noise. I kept walking down the hall.

I felt dissociated from my body as it made its way through the complex. I had become numb to it all, even that feeling of being watched. But it soon became clear to me that it had, indeed, been true. I rounded a corner and straight ahead of me was that man. That subordinate I had seen on several occasions and the one I always suspected of causing this sense of discomfort.

I kept walking. My alter questioned the move, screaming in the back of my head to go find Hidan or someone, anyone. But I shushed her. I was on autopilot and that felt okay. Besides, Kisame told me he was fine. He even had a name, Eichi. That was a nice enough name, I supposed.

An Aside: Itachi and Kisame

"Uchiha, you in there?" Kisame shouted with a rushed rapping of his knuckles against the bedroom door. He went to push it open after what he considered to be long enough to qualify as a courtesy knock, but it hit against something. Something that produced a sleepy groan.

"Hm?" Itachi mumbled as he snapped awake, quickly standing up from his position on the ground.

Kisame regarded his partner rather curiously as he pushed his way in. "Hey man, I'm not one to tell you how to live your life, but you should really give the bed a shot. You never know, might end up liking it."

Itachi didn't laugh or even let slip an airy look of amusement. It had been a long night and he very much wanted Kisame to get to the point of his early morning visit.

"Alright, so we're not joking today, got it." Kisame said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. "Anyway, I was just seeing if Izumi was in here."

"No. Why would Izumi be in here?" Itachi asked calmly. Kisame rolled his eyes.

"Keh… and I thought we weren't joking around?" Kisame said, raising a knowing brow at Itachi, who only stared back, praying to God his poker face was holding. He'd been having a difficult time with that as of late.

"Okay, fine, have it your way. I'll pretend I don't know what's going on between you two, would that make you feel better?" Kisame asked. Yet another eye roll.

"Why are you looking for her?" Itachi asked, disregarding his partner's question. He was going for calm and collected, his signature look, but he was trying hard not to let on to the fact that the thought of her missing had already sent a spike in his blood pressure.

"So, funny thing, we can't find her anywhere," Kisame said with a sigh, scratching the back of his head.

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Itachi asked a little too quickly, a little too heightened. And he knew it as soon as the words left his lips.

"Is there more than one way to interpret that?" Kisame asked. The smartass. "She mentioned she was gonna talk to you this morning so I was hoping she'd be in here… Man, Pain is gonna flip the fuck out." Kisame said with a heavy sigh, his forehead creasing with worry lines.

Itachi stared at the floor intently like it might have answers and Kisame was not blind to this or his oddly tight voice.

"Oh boy... what do you know?" Kisame asked, clearly on to him. Itachi truly was a bad liar. It was one of the reasons he preferred the silence. It was inherently harder to read.

Itachi's eyes snapped up to meet Kisame's and there was indeed, a strangeness to them. Something odd between fear and guilt.

"I… may have upset her last night." Itachi admitted.

"Upset her how… ?" Kisame asked, an accusatory tone to his voice, and for good reason.

"I said some things to her that were… cruel," Itachi said carefully, uncomfortably. This was not a conversation he wanted to be having. He was already embarrassed enough that the events had even transpired in the first place, let alone divulging the details to arguably, his closest companion.

"For fuck's sake, I feel like I'm going fishing and catching minnows here, would you just lay it out on the table for me, man? " Kisame groaned, dragging his fingers down his face in frustration. "I don't know if you recall but she is missing. Kinda on a timeline here."

Itachi frowned with some sort of strained noise in his throat. "It was hard enough saying it the first time."

"The fuck did you say to her, Itachi?" Kisame demanded. Rarely had he seen Itachi on the ropes so it must have been bad .

Itachi breathed out a wave of self-loathing and irritation from his nostrils, lips pressed tightly together in a thin line as if mentally prepping. "I told her to leave," he said, pausing to wet his lips and failing to do so as no moisture existed there at the moment. "...that sleeping together was purely to meet a need, that I was just drunk, and I… said it in a way that would hurt."

"Whoa what ?! I'm sorry, can we go back to the part where you guys slept together ?!" Kisame hissed, eyes bulging. "When did this happen? Hold on... let me guess, it was the night before last. Because immediately after, you turned into a raging dick . Oh man, it all makes so much sense now." Kisame stared at Itachi, his head shaking in a tutting motion, hands on his hips.

A heady blush overcame Itachi under the scrutiny as he quickly looked to the ground. "You made it seem like you knew…"

"I mean I had hoped , but no. So let me get this straight, you slept with Izumi… Izumi ," he repeated for emphasis. "Izumi, the clumsy little mess of a human that couldn't hurt a fly? Izumi, the cute little bubbly thing that takes care of us for some reason? Izumi, the literal nicest person in the world? You slept with her and then told her what ?"

"I had no choice, Kisame." Itachi's voice boomed sternly with a warning, uncharacteristically loud for him. If anyone should have understood, it was Kisame. He knew this was no world for Izumi to get involved in. She was too good for it. Someone like her? It would devour her whole and it wouldn't even spit out the bones. He could never forgive himself, he already had enough skeletons in his closet.

"Guess I know why you look like such shit, now." Kisame scoffed.

"I didn't really sleep."

"You always look tired. I meant that you are a huge piece of shit. Like this officially makes you a piece of shit, officially." Kisame clarified.

Itachi frowned, knowing that:

a. That was too many "officially's" for one sentence, but it was neither the time nor place to bring it up. And...

b. He deserved it and then some. He wouldn't bother trying to defend against it.

"Anyway, you chose to fuck her, so what's this about no choice?" Kisame folded his arms and gave him a pointed look, very curious to see how Itachi was going to talk his way out of this one. Itachi stared at Kisame.

On one hand it was obviously a bother to be questioned like this, but at the same time, he hadn't realized how close Izumi and Kisame were. He knew they were friendly and would banter and tease each other out of boredom, but it was oddly endearing to know Kisame found it in him to actually care for the girl behind closed doors. It was so very unlike him. It even seemed like Kisame liked her even more than him. Itachi didn't blame his partner one bit considering he shared a similar stance. Even in the throes of the painful event they were currently navigating, he marvelled at her affect. She truly was impossibly impressive. Never once had he thought it a joke.

"That was a mistake, and I told her such. Kisame I… I don't know how to put this any other way... I fucked up, in a big way..." Itachi said in a manner that alluded to something more. Something with a great deal of guilt behind it beyond what he'd already confessed to. He ran a shaky hand through his hair before tying it low at the base of his neck. Even Kisame wasn't used to seeing this fettered version of Itachi. It was unnerving.

"What'd you do, accidentally put it in the wrong hole?" Kisame speculated, bewildered.

Itachi didn't bother dignifying that with an answer. "I…" he took a second to growl under his breath, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. "I came inside. I was lost in it, I didn't even think to pull out..."

"Fuck dude, you didn't wrap it?" Kisame asked with a wince.

Itachi's expression made it painfully clear that he did not.

"Damn and I thought you were the smart one... Soooo, did she flip out?" Kisame asked, looking all sorts of yeesh .

"No, she… she didn't even mention it," Itachi said, exasperated. "I don't even think it was a thought for her, she was just… happy . I feel like I completely took advantage of her trust..."

"It's probably fine, man. The odds are in your favor." Kisame offered as a small comfort. It was small indeed.

"But what if they're not? The odds, I mean. Can you imagine?" Itachi asked rhetorically, though given the look on his face, closed eyes with a disgusted, weak laugh, it looked like he was imagining it in great detail. "For all I know, I've done nothing but curse her. I'm not long for this world, Kisame… you know that, but she doesn't. To be with her in the little time I have left… and to potentially leave her to raise my child alone." He stared at the floor with disdain, as if he could see his reflection in it. "What I said to her, however cruel… it was merciful compared to a fate such as that."

"You still have that death wish, huh?" Kisame had become oddly somber to match Itachi.

"The medicine doesn't help like it used to. I know my time is approaching. There is no need to burden her with such things."

"Tch, you know if it's not you, it's just going to be someone else." Kisame pointed out with another eye roll.

Itachi cocked his head with a questioning glance. It's not that he hadn't thought it himself, he most certainly did, but he had written it off as a bout of jealousy. Or two. Or ten. It didn't matter, he'd never let on.

"Oh, like you don't notice everything. You'd have to be blind to miss it with Hidan anyway. You wanna take bets on how long it takes for him to lose his temper with her? You think he'll kill her or just maim?"

"Kisame…" Itachi sighed in a scolding way, as if he was being absurd.

"No, I'm serious. You think one of these other fucking guys won't jump at the opporunity to save the damsel in distress? Especially that damsel, the one you distressed? I don't know how merciful it is in reality, just in that twisted, dark head of yours."

Itachi would never divulge to Kisame that he'd thought about this more than he'd like to admit. But Izumi in a relationship with someone like Hidan or Deidara… he knew it would be fleeting, either one would mess it up quickly enough. And he would be close at least. Close enough to keep an eye and step in it need be. That's what he told himself, anyway. He did need to sleep at night, after all.

"Alright fine, I'll do it," Kisame grinned widely, lacing his fingers behind his head. "I know you're too shy to ask, but I'll take one for the team and be with her."

"I wouldn't have needed to go as far as I did if you hadn't encouraged her in the first place. Yes, she told me. So was this your plan all along, Kisame?" Itachi asked, a hint of humor mixed with bitterness.

"Oh no, no, no. Don't you try to pin any of this on me. I didn't put your dick in her."

"Yes, thank you for that uncomfortable image, Kisame…" Itachi sighed deeply. "This isn't helping us find her." He tried to steer them back on track.

"Fair point. Okay, so you said she was scared when she first showed up? something about someone watching her?"

"Yes…" There was that guilty look again. "And I just sent her off on her own..."

And there was that disgust again. Itachi let himself trail off, he had already shown his partner enough weakness, enough emotion for one morning. He felt strange and vulnerable far too often lately, it was uncomfortably forgeign and only ever eased by her, and now he didn't even have that. He couldn't get her face out of his memory, there when she showed up at 3 am. She had been so frightened, it damn near scared him by proxy.

All he had wanted to do was pull her into his chest the moment he saw her. Stop her from making that face. Fix it, whatever it was. He had tried to keep the door closed because he could hear that fear quaking in her voice and he knew the moment he laid eyes on her, he would see it, and it would not be something he would be able to scratch from his memory.

"Hey man, in your defense, she should be safe within these walls." Kisame pointed out.

"I'm concerned she left on her own," Itachi confessed. "She doesn't need to be able to perform jutsu to get out technically, she could just phase through the door."

"Hm true, you were a pretty huge dick. But even so, you really think she'd do that? She strikes me as a rule follower."

"You'd be surprised…" Itachi murmured, mostly to himself.

Kisame raised a brow with an approving sort of look but decided not to touch that in a rare moment of self-restraint.

"So maybe she left to... I don't know, cry outside? I won't pretend to know what girls do. Imagine if we go out there and she's just straight whipping kunai at a picture of your face nailed to a tree." Kisame pondered thoughtfully with a chuckle.

"This feels unnecessary and unproductive," Itachi deadpanned.

"It's called brainstorming ." Kisame countered.

"Storming? Kisame, I wouldn't even call that a brain drizzle."

"Hey, that was pretty funny, Itachi. Good for you." Kisame seemed genuinely impressed, nodding and pushing his bottom lip out in a 'not bad' kind of way.

"Can you please focus?" Itachi was back to rubbing his temples.

"Alright, alright... so Deidara has the top down view, we'll have him do a full aerial sweep, the rest of us will sweep the ground. Zetsu can do his weird ass tree shit and a couple people will stay back and keep looking around here in case she shows up. Maybe check the subordinate floor?" Kisame paused, looking up like he had just remembered an important detail.

"Yes?" Itachi prompted impatiently.

"It's just… hm… so there was this time a couple days ago," Kisame began, explaining the incident in which Izumi flung a kunai at his face with her eyes closed. Itachi, despite his dour mood, had to bite back a smile while imagining it. It sounded about right, having been the victim of an attempted assault by way of flying spoon once upon a time.

"So maybe we go check on Eichi, just to be safe." Kisame suggested.

"Hn," Itachi agreed curtly.

Notes:

BIG OOF for my bbs D:

Sorry for sad chappie but tonks for reading 3

Chapter 31: Perseverance

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It all happened within a matter of seconds.

Seeing him there. Him seeing me. Eichi, the subordinate that made my skin crawl. He was a thick, towering beast of a man with scarred skin stretched taut over his muscles. It had always been the eyes that did it for me though. Creepy little things, black and deep-set with a small scarlet pupil in each. They glinted in a calculating way. He wore a smile and in my current state, that seemed friendly enough. Enough for me to blankly pass by him anyway. Except I didn't.

Before I could register what was happening, I was against the wall, then the floor. Something was being forced into my mouth, past my teeth, against my tongue, a thick piece of cloth maybe? It had an acrid taste and my guess was that it was far from clean. My muscles strained against him, and I use the word "muscles" generously, but it was useless. He tied the gag tightly in place, then did the same with my wrists behind my back.

'I told you so' doesn't even begin to cover it.

Literally seconds for all of that. Then I was over his shoulder and we were moving quickly.

I had been in such a mentally disconnected state to begin with that my mind was reeling and short-circuiting as I tried to just think . I needed a plan but I couldn't even process the events in the moment, let alone try to get a step ahead. My only thought was to scream, and I did, a lot, until my voice went hoarse. I tried anyway, but it came out as a pathetic muted thing through the cloth gag.

I knew once we made it outside, my chances of coming out of this thing alive were slim to none. I had read enough mystery/crime novels to know once you left the first location, odds were not in your favor. Struggling was useless, though that didn't stop me from trying.

Oh, but he didn't like that, he didn't like that at all.

The breath flew from my lungs, my back hitting the ground harshly as he tossed me off his shoulder. We weren't far from base yet, still on the training grounds as far as I could tell. Through the darkness, and only because it was so illuminated by the moon on that clear-skied night, I could just make out the sandy river bank from my position in the dirt and I immediately knew where we were. In a swell of excitement at knowing anything at all, I scrambled backwards in an attempt to get on my feet, which, as it turns out… was very hard to do with my hands bound behind my back.

"Yeah, I don't think so," The insanely muscled, red-skinned man said nonchalantly, reaching out with one massive hand to latch onto my ankle and yank me back. It was Gorzo all over again. I prayed he didn't have similar intentions.

"So apparently I'm not allowed to break your legs… you can thank Orochimaru-sama for that," he began grumbling, yanking up my pant legs to just above the knee.

Orochimaru… man, this guy just can't take a hint.

I bit my eyes closed and found myself thinking of Hidan, my brain replacing the horror of whatever was currently happening with a more enjoyable memory. Any minute now he'd be giving me a leg rub and slinging jello-related insults at me.

That was far from the case. His hands gripped me firmly, beyond firmly even. There was no warning, just a horrendous popping noise and a sharp, throbbing pain in my left knee, his thick fingers still tightly wrapped around my thigh and shin.

"So we'll just dislocate these real quick, make sure you can't get too far in case I have to put you down for some reason." He spoke pragmatically, like if he just explained what he was doing, maybe I'd be a good sport about it.

That's gonna be a hard no from me, pal. I'm not good at sports, nor am I a good sport.

Dusk was still a couple hours out. No one would realize I was gone, not for a while. This man, Eichi , a name I suddenly thought was dreadful by the way, would have plenty of time to whisk me away to wherever we were going. I got the distinct impression, based on my incredible detective skills, it would be to this Orochimaru fellow everyone had been speaking so highly of.

My other leg. Another pop. My cries were pathetic and muted on the cloth gag and he seemed to get a kick out of it. I let myself cry harder. In fact, I made a show of it, not that it was difficult to ham it up a bit, it really did hurt like the dickens, whatever those are... and while he was busy enjoying the show, I managed to hook my sock off with my other foot. The sock was on the ground and I was over his shoulder again, a stabbing pain in both my knees as they hit against him in a rhythm as he raced through the woods.

Think, Izumi.

My brain raced just as fast. I needed to come up with a plan, but what could I possibly do against this brute? Even if I hadn't been bound, gagged and had my kneecaps dislocated, it was a preposterous match. If we were pitted against each other in some sort of bizarre cook-off to the death challenge, maybe I'd have a shot, but I didn't imagine that to be the case.

Eichi must have been bored or lonely because at times he would talk to me as if we were co-workers or something, not that I could respond.

"Been waitin' for a break like this for… hooo I don't know, say nine years? Spy work is draining, ya know. Definitely looking forward to a nice cushy spot at HQ over in Sound. Had a girl out that way once..." He continued to ramble and I gained the impression that he'd been undercover with the Akatuski since Orochimauru had been a member, and while his purpose all those years was just to keep an eye, that changed when I came along. Now he was a delivery man, and I was just the package.

I felt akin to a cardboard box, frayed and gouged, every corner crushed inwards, all dented and bent and wrapped in tape that said "FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE". Something clinked inside when you shook it.

Nice promotion ya got coming there, be a shame if someone ruined it for you…

That would require a plan, remember? I scowled to myself and after a few more minutes, slipped off the other sock. At least, I thought, this would tell someone which direction I was going in… should they be looking.

Oh God, please be looking.

That's seriously the whole plan? Socks?

Yes. Socks. For now.

I could hear something rumbling in the distance, and to my delight, we were approaching the roaring noise. It was water, rushing water. The lazy river by base must wind down to where we were now, eventually becoming a waterfall. It wasn't long before we reached the jumping off point of a very steep decline leading down to the pool in which the crashing waters met the ground once more.

Eichi was going on about how his mom had wanted him to become a taxidermist and his uncle's high blood pressure.

Excellent. Stay distracted, beanhole.

Craning my neck around in an attempt to get a proper glimpse of the surroundings from my unfortunate vantage point draped over the man's shoulder, I took note of the steepness of the cliffside we were about to traverse, rife with loose rocks and twisting tree roots. The waterfall, heavily gushing and splashing into the deep pool at the base of the incline. The waterfall itself was not terribly tall but not a small one either, maybe 10 meters in height.

It looked like, based on our trajectory, that we would be crossing the river just at the bottom of the ravine, just past the point where the waterfall met it in a crashing flourish. That would mean we were going down the cliffside.

That changed things. I could work with that.

I swallowed as I hastily began planning. I didn't have long, maybe even only seconds as he began stomping and sliding down the ledge. I had something. It wasn't fancy, but it was something.

From my lovely view, upside down and between his legs, I honed in on a rather large root curling up and out of the ground. The whole cliffside was a tripping hazard, mind you, but with some concentration, I had high hopes of upgrading said hazards into unavoidable peril. You know, as one does.

I only had one shot at this. My only trump card was him assuming I couldn't do much so once he knew, he'd be on guard.

I took a deep breath, rankling my brows in concentration on the exhale, focusing on my core. Gathering chakra, releasing it with the mental command extended outward toward the root. I couldn't believe it... It actually began to move with a twitch. My heart swelled and I used the emotional burst to fuel the movement. It surged and twisted out of the ground, quickly snaking up Eichi's leg, wrapping and squeezing around his right foot and ankle.

"What in the fuck ?" he growled with a start. His balance was lost and as he began to lurch forward, I struggled recklessly, bucking with everything I had to continue the momentum of his fall, and while he was held in place by the meaty, constricting root, I was not.

To be perfectly honest, I hadn't really thought about the tumble I'd have to take to get down to the water. Of course beggars can't be choosers, and while I much preferred slamming and bouncing my way down a rocky cliff face to being slung over that man's shoulder, it still freaking sucked .

With my hands secured behind me, I had no way to shield myself from the battering I sustained as I skidded and crashed through a plethora of fun things such as rocks, sticks, overturned logs and various shrubberies, to name a few. I was, however, glad to have the gag, as I felt like there were moments I was gritting my teeth so hard they would have broken otherwise.

I could hear him yelling in the distance, even as I plunged into the water. Frigid as ever but comforting in the sense that it wasn't rocks. Sometimes it's the little things.

Don't get too excited, that was the easy part.

True. This part of the plan was only good in theory because it required some actual skillful use of my abilities, not just some floundering root.

No offense, root. You did good.

I had to be quick about it. I was sure any moment now he'd be breaking out and making his way down to collect me, and likely not in the most stellar of moods. I struggled to gather my senses underwater, my brain still feeling like it was rocking against my skull. The good news was that while my knees were still killing me, the water allowed me to move without putting pressure on them, which is why I was so excited to hear the falls to begin with.

Almost out of breath and having made my way toward where the waterfall actually met with the pool, I stilled myself, blocking out the pain all over my body, the knees, every wound gained from my sharp-edged romp down the cliff, the burning in my lungs.

There is literally a stick protruding from your stomach.

Nevermind that. I had to shut it all out and focus. I allowed myself to think about Itachi for the briefest of moments, his hands firm against my belly, squeezing and urging me to gather chakra there.

The water around me began to churn and swirl in an unnatural rhythm. I gripped onto the feeling and pushed it further and further, willing it with every ounce of desperation for it to encompass me, to work against itself and ferry my body up the falls. It began to flow with its own current, a powerful one, pushing me up in defiance of the natural downward flow. My heart almost couldn't handle that it was actually working, it swelled so much I thought it might pop.

I prayed it was dark enough that Eichi wouldn't be able to make out my form in the chaos of the waterfall. I was only halfway up when I felt myself beginning to falter, the amount of energy it took to create this makeshift water elevator was wearing me down quickly, my chakra feeling like it was diminishing to the size of a pea. But it truly was life or death, and if there was ever a moment to go "balls to the wall", whatever that meant, I don't know, I heard Hidan say it once, then this felt like that moment.

Gritted teeth and clenching eyes, nails biting into my palms behind me, I forced a spurt of energy, propelling me up in a burst. To my horror, I couldn't stop there. The rapids were… well, just that... rapids. I fought against them with my physical strength, which I realize is a joke in it's own right, but it wasn't enough. My hands still bound and knees still awash with pain really put me at a disadvantage, if you can believe it. I had to pull more energy, keep using the water to push me against the current, at least until the rapids let up.

Itachi would have been mad. My nose was bleeding profusely. Not just a drop and not just one nostril. The strong, coppery taste hit my lips and spurred me on until I physically couldn't bear it any longer, the edges of my vision starting to go black, and I realized with a spiked heart rate that if I let myself pass out now, it would have all been for nothing.

There was an overturned tree partially in the water with bare branches sticking out every which way. I managed to get to it and awkwardly grab ahold, bound hands be damned. The bulk of the rapids were behind me and Eichi would be looking for me downstream for a while. He wouldn't assume I floated my way up a waterfall, and if he did, then he probably deserved to catch me.

I awkwardly pulled myself closer to the shore line so my feet could touch to the bottom. I would slowly wade up the river, albeit painfully. The frigid water provided some much needed numbness to my wounds and at least the gag stopped my teeth from chattering loudly. Silver linings.

I took a page out of Zetsu's book and maneuvered myself beneath a lily pad, wearing it like a hat as I slowly made my way upstream, staying low in the water so just my nostrils grazed the top. After another hour or so of the agonizing walk and my heart seemingly convulsing inside my esophagus the whole time, I couldn't help but cry when I came to that little sandy spot. There was the alcove where Itachi and I sat only a couple days ago. It felt like ages somehow. Had the gag not been there, my mouth would have soured into a frown.

No time to think about him .

I hadn't even gotten a proper chance to process the whole of what he had said to me. Maybe it was better that I didn't.

I had done all I could, the rest would be up to the Akatsuki. My knees would never take the weight of me walking, and the trip from shore to the base was kind of long and fully out in the open. All it would take is one glance from afar to notice me if he came searching this direction. No, I would wait. Someone had to be looking for me… right?

I pushed into the alcove, flopping onto the stone slab and scooting back as far as I could, body exhausted and shaking between the physical exertion and the cold. Lily pad on my face as I stayed in an awkward sort of slumped, semi-laying position, just enough to keep my face above water. I laid there, crying for a moment. Everything hurt, and yet even after the morning I just had, I would still venture to say my heart hurt most of all.

Dawn had arrived. I laid there with shallow breaths. I did that for hours, just trying to hold onto consciousness. I was so scared he would sense my chakra and I didn't know how to mask it so instead, I just kept using it. Every time I felt like maybe there was a grain of it, I would immediately squeeze it out as a tiny ripple of a wave. It did occur to me at one point that if Eichi couldn't sense my chakra, that meant no one could, and I had a hard time reconciling that because there were certainly people I wanted to take notice of my current position.

I had started to give up hope as the sun climbed higher into the sky and my ability to keep my eyes open and brain in working order diminished by the minute.

"Any luck?" A voice in the distance made me jump, my heart slamming against my ribcage in a swell. It sounded like Kisame. I scrambled from the alcove, disoriented but determined, flicking the lily pad off me and wading to shore with my last droplets of energy. As the water got more shallow, I found I could no longer sustain my weight so I stayed low and did my best impression of a snake, slithering up the sandy area, dragging myself forward with my chin in an awkward chest-heaving, squirming motion.

I screamed for him through the gag, but my voice was hoarse and nearly gone even before the gag. I could literally see him in the distance. My vision was blurry and dark at the edges but I could make out his form, though it looked like he might have been turned in the other direction. I desperately wormed further ashore, screaming still with tears pouring. I had never felt so desperate in my life, and when Kisame whipped around and looked straight at me, I couldn't help but dissolve into a mess of laughing sobs.

He was upon me in a matter of seconds, an urgent look painting his typically humorous features. His hands hovered over my body for a second as if he wasn't sure where to even start, but he was Kisame and he quickly regained his senses. With the quick movement of a kunai, the gag fell from my mouth and I gasped gratefully, inhaling a deep breath and coughing as I did so. I uttered his name in a long drawn out sob coated in relief. He'd finally found me.

"Good fucking lord," Kisame muttered, rolling me over to loose the bindings on my wrists as well. As soon as they came undone it was all I could do to wrap my arms around myself, hugging my shoulders. I was just so cold and so exhausted.

"Hey, kid, look at me," Kisame was rolling me back over and lightly slapping my face with one hand, holding my head up at the base of my neck with the other. I stared at him through my wooziness and tried to bring him into focus. I reached out and sloppily dragged my hand down his face to make sure he was real.

"A good fish…" I mumbled distantly in a raspy, breaking voice.

"Keh… glad someone thinks so," he said with a mild laugh. "Kid, listen, I need you to answer me. Stay with me, okay?"

"Staying with you," I affirmed by way of garbled words, petting his face once more. He maneuvered out of it with a twist after trying to blow it away like errant hair didn't work.

"Who did this?" He asked very seriously, grabbing my hand to avoid being pet a third time.

I stared at him vacantly and struggled to keep my eyes open with a furrowed brow. Was he asking me something?

"Izumi, who ?" Kisame repeated.

"Who… hoo… Like an owl?" I managed, his words sounded so far away. Why was he asking me about owls?

"Oh, for fuck's sake…" he grumbled before yelling over his shoulder at Zetsu who appeared through a tree in the distance, "Hey, I got her! Tell the others!"

"Eichi? Was it Eichi? The subordinate?" He was back to asking me questions.

Everything was fuzzy. My heart was fuzzy. It felt too fast. My brain was fuzzy. It felt too slow. I heard a name I didn't like fall from Kisame's mouth and it immediately set a tremor in my bottom lip. I clutched at him to pull myself closer but I had no strength. Luckily he sensed what I was getting at and pulled me into his lap.

"You had a rough night, huh?" Kisame said, looking down at me with a sigh and attempting to smooth down my very matted, nature-infused hair.

I smiled weakly and leaned my head into his chest. "The worst… warm."

Kisame hymned and hawed, "Eh, I've been called worse."

"…not the worst warm… The worst. Period. Warm... two thoughts... also, a nice warm."

"What's this? You become semi-coherent just to chastise me?"

I patted his chest weakly with my finger tips. "A good fish."

"Guess I'll take what I can get," Kisame conceded with a snort as I slipped into semi-consciousness.

My body let out a groan as I felt him lift me up, my knees knocking together painfully. I felt like twilight had fallen in my mind, a strange in-between haziness making it hard to see or think clearly. At some point my body was put on a table, it was prefaced with a cacophony of clattering objects. I assumed they were swept to the floor in a burst of impatient urgency. But I felt warm in Kisame's arms and cold on the table so it would have been alright, had they taken the time to slowly move the salt and pepper shakers, etc.

"She's not good," Kisame's voice, albeit low and hushed, was burdened with concern and I hated the way it sounded. "She was gagged, hands bound behind her back. Almost no voice, probably spent it screaming. I found her by the water, no idea how she got there but based on her body temp, I'd say she was in there a while."

I couldn't tell who he was talking to as they did not respond. Or maybe they did and I blinked out of existence again. I was doing that a lot.

Kisame spoke again after I don't know how long. "Hey man… I know you're thinking it. This isn't your fault."

Still no response, and while I couldn't react, I felt something firm and warm against my cheek, then the other. A pair of hands cupping my face, fingers brushing into the hairline and pressing down the frayed edges. I absently wondered what Kisame was doing, was he looking for wounds? It hardly seemed efficient. I imagined his hands would be rougher.

Regardless, it was staggeringly comforting as the thumbs traced and smoothed across my eyebrows before rubbing in a delicate back-and-forth against my cheeks. The movement stilled and I felt a breath against my face, nearly noiseless, though not entirely, there was just the faintest hint of somberness to it. I had the faint urge to sneeze as something tickled against my nose and face. Was it... hair?

God, you're a mess. Would you stop trying to think for once in your life? Go to sleep, Izumi.

"Well, we've got company, might wanna get your shit together," Kisame mumbled as two more sets of footsteps approached quickly. The hands were gone just as quickly.

"Oh shit ... " That one was Deidara's voice. He seemed disgruntled by something. Possibly the sight of me, possibly his favorite salt shaker smashed to pieces on the floor. I was in no state to speculate. "Was she suppressing her chakra or something? How the fuck didn't we find her before?"

"No… it's just been used. Repeatedly I would venture to guess. That blood from her nose isn't from any injury I can see… though she has plenty of those." Sasori mused with a somberness to him. "Impaled by a branch here, still bleeding. Contusions here, looks like she fell… quite a bit." Sasori went on, inspecting me for more wounds and tutting about the innate fragility of the human body.

"Izumi, I don't know if you can hear me but I'll need to be removing some of your clothing to better assess you. We really should be getting you out of these wet clothes anyway. My apologies, I do hope you'll understand…" I could hear him, he was just coming through like an old-timey radio, all small and fuzzy in the background. I wanted to let him know that it was okay, that I didn't have it in me to care about such things at the moment, not like they hadn't all seen my undies anyway...

Sasori's fingers were cold but delicate and though the air was also cold against my bare skin, it was a relief to be out of the soaking clothes. Sasori did me the service of leaving my undergarments on and I internally thanked him for being a gentleman… gentlepuppet… gentlepuppetman?

Anyway, I internally thanked him.

"What the fuck," Kisame groaned. "The fuck are those knees doing? Good fucking lord, I can't even with this girl."

"They've been dislocated. My guess would be strategically, so she couldn't walk. They just need to be reset and the swelling should dissipate in time," Sasori assessed. "She'll probably be okay to walk in a day or two."

"Alright, so do it, yeah," Deidara said impatiently, apparently not enjoying the sight of them as is.

I absently wondered what they looked like and fought to open my eyelids but all they did was flutter enough for me to see a few quick flashes of light and then back to darkness. I did, however, manage to let out an annoyed groan.

"Hey, you see that? She's trying to wake up. That's good, right?" Deidara asked with a sort of hopeful innocence.

"Well, it means she's not braindead. I suppose most of us would qualify that as 'good'," Sasori replied sedately.

"I wouldn't rule it out yet. She called me a 'good fish' not once, but twice outside," Kisame added.

"Oh, is that not what you like to be called? That's what I have as in my address book." Sasori made a joke that would have had me laughing in any other state.

Haha.

I did so inwardly.

"Please… we all know I'm a bad fish." Kisame said it in such a way that it would have been criminal had he not put his sunglasses on while delivering the line. As far as I was concerned, he did.

"If she's waking up then we need to set her knees quickly. It will be painful so we should take advantage of her current state."

Itachi's voice made my heart drop. When had he gotten there? He was always so quiet… It was like the hazy film that covered everything from my thoughts to the voices around me, all but vanished. Suddenly everything was clear and sharp, almost painfully so.

"Well, who here can do it? I am good at diagnosing because I need to know how to damage bodies efficiently. I would not trust myself to repair one, however." I could hear Sasori stepping back, clearly bowing out.

"I'm uh… not exactly known for my gentle touch." Kisame said. "I mean fuck, look at those legs, they're like toothpicks. How does she even walk on them?"

Oh boy, this is how conspiracy theories start , Kisame .

"I could try, I mean, how hard could it be?" Deidara said, which horrified me. The man adept at blowing things up, offering to give my knee caps the ol' college try.

Pass.

"I know how," Itachi spoke up and I could practically hear my heart plummet through my back, splatting against the floor.

Deidara sounds fine, actually.

I felt his fingers lightly pressing on my leg, feeling for the right position. There was something about his touch, the fact that he dared to do it so gently and sweet, that sickened me. I thought of him and the night we spent together, this touch now mirroring the gentleness then, and all I could do was let out a sob at the memory and the fact that none of it was real for him.

" So yes, I fucked you."

"I know…" Itachi said in response to my strained choking noise, thinking it had been induced by physical pain. I ignored the fact that he sounded apologetic, that would only mess with my head.

It seemed like he had found the right placement of his hands as he gripped my leg firmer in preparation to straighten it out.

"No…" I managed to groan, fighting to open my eyes once more.

"It needs to be done. It will be quick." Itachi paused to assure.

"No... not you..." I murmured with a pathetic attempt to push his hands off me, my hands just sliding off his. I couldn't stand him touching me knowing what it meant to him and what it meant to me, and the vast sea of differences between the two. I was finally able to wrench my eyes open a crack, he was foggy but even then I could see the realization strike him.

The pain was not the problem, he was.

He froze in place, trying very hard to maintain his indiscernible expression as everyone slowly turned their attention to him.

Deidara's eyes narrowed at him in an almost curious fashion with a distinct 'what did you do, Uchiha?' vibe to it. Sasori raised a brow with a similar question resting behind it, though not quite so aggressively. Nevertheless, he seemed both surprised and intrigued by this development. Kisame just cringed with a shrug, looking like he felt bad for his partner but at the same time… play stupid games, win stupid prizes?

"Kakuzu," I mumbled, breaking the tension.

"You want Kakuzu?" Kisame asked, brow cocked.

I nodded.

"Fuck if that's not the first time that's ever been said.." Kisame said to himself with a wide-eyed look, head receding into his neck a bit bewildered-like. "Regardless though, he's out sweeping the grounds for the subordinate."

I huffed weakly. "I'll wait."

"Izumi," Itachi started, pausing to release a heavy, disheartened sigh, "you need help and I'm the only reasonable option here now. I'm doing it." He moved in to touch me again and the swell in my throat managed to form into a noise of protest that somewhat halted him.

"I can wait." I formed an entire sentence, albeit a short, whiny one.

"Izumi, look at you. You're a mess. It needs to happen," His voice was raised, his frustration clear, and I didn't have it in me to fight against the tears as they started up. I quickly brought my hands to cover my face.

"P-Please don't... yell at me… I-I had a h-hard night…" I cried into them, voice hitching and breaking, shoulders shaking. The fact that I was keeping my sobs mostly silent was about all I could muster for emotional control at the moment.

When I looked at Itachi I wanted to be mad, I wanted to hate him for what he took from me without a second thought, for making me think it was something more, for absolutely destroying me... But that's not what I felt when I saw him. Just an emptiness and a terrible, impossible longing so deep it seemed like the darkness I leapt into. An unending expanse.

Is this that 'young love' everyone talks about? I'm gonna give it a 0/10. Would not recommend.

Deidara shot Itachi a glare. "Quit yelling at her, prick!"

"I'm not yelling . I'm just trying to help ." Itachi said calmly, too calmly for the stern look he wore.

"Then why don't you go get some bandages and shit. You're upsetting her in here, maybe try being somewhere else?" Kisame said to him quietly on the side.

Itachi glared at him, his fingers laced behind his neck as he tipped his head back and took a deep breath.

The front door seal pinged with someone new coming in. My heart leapt in my throat when I heard his voice.

"She's here?!" Hidan shouted, audibly bounding down the hall towards us.

"Yep, in here," Kisame affirmed back loudly, giving Itachi a pointed look. "Here we go, it's damsel time," he whispered to him.

Hidan rounded the corner and skipped up to the table with a broad smile, barreling through the others standing around me, eliciting grumbles and a curt "fuck off" from Deidara. Passing by the doorway was Kakuzu hauling a hefty, squirming body behind him, bound by hundreds of black strings. It was Eichi, and they were headed in a different direction.

"Hey, there she is. Look at this fucking badass with blood all over her face." He said, scratching some of it off and continuing to smile, though his eyes gave him away. It was reminiscent of when parents downplay their kid's injury just so the kid doesn't freak out.

Pfttt, like we have the energy to freak out .

"Hidan…" I breathed his name out with relief. "Help?" I whined, my fingers weakly reaching for my knees.

"Hm, what's up?" He took a quick moment to inspect them. "Tch, easy, I have to do this all the time for myself. Two re-located knees, comin' right up," He said, nonchalantly placing one hand atop my thigh and the other beneath the calf.

"It's not gonna feel great, sweetheart. You want something to bite down on? Leather strap, bit of wood? Hey, Sasori is right there, maybe he'll lend you a finger to chew on."

I let out a flimsy laugh, shaking my head. Staring up at him through tired, squinting eyes, my heart couldn't help but feel a bit soft and fluttery. He was being silly, and that was something I desperately needed given the unfortunate array of experiences I had dealt with over the course of the last 24 hours.

"I would, Izumi, if you thought it would help," Sasori offered, all ten fingers wiggling lazily at me.

"No? Alright, alright, we'll find you something. You need something meatier, don't you? Something you can sink your teeth into..." Hidan speculated thoughtfully, looking around. "Hmmm how about Kisame's ass? I'm sure he'd love it."

"She can bite my ass after you eat it, Hidan," Kisame agreed coolly.

"Hey, don't threaten me with a good time, big boy." Hidan threw Kisame a wink. Kisame deftly avoided it.

"You sure you know what you're doing with that leg there, zombie boy? Taking an awfully long time," Kisame asked, earning a haughty scoff from the immortal.

"If you're so worried, why didn't any of you fucking do it? When I arrived you all were just standing around like you were waiting for a fucking gangbang to happen," Hidan said, absently rubbing and gently squeezing my thigh. It didn't seem like he even knew he was doing it but I could see Itachi trained on the movement.

"Well, none of us felt capable besides Itachi, and Izumi didn't want Itachi to do it," Sasori explained calmly, knowing exactly what he was doing. "Which is odd as she's always seemed rather favorable toward him," he added, the cherry on top.

Way to put me on blast, Sasori.

Hidan's brows, both of them, nearly jumped to his hairline for a moment.

"Is that fucking so?" Hidan questioned, looking from me to the stoic Uchiha who leaned against the wall, taking the scrutiny in stride.

"Yeah, can we talk about that?" Deidara chimed in, clearly having done nothing but mull that over repeatedly since it happened.

I tensed at the thought of needing to explain and Hidan's eyes flickered over me, picking up on the brief reaction.

"Tch, I don't need the fucking details, it's enough to know that he already fucked up," he murmured before giving me his full attention, tightening his grip on my leg. "Ready on three?"

I nodded weakly, grateful for the change of topic.

"One," he said before immediately thrusting my leg into a position that produced a loud click in my knee and a hoarse cry from my mouth.

"That wasn't three…" I groaned, closing my eyes.

"True, and think about all the anxiety I saved you, entire seconds worth," he said, gently setting my leg back on the table and leaning down casually to press his lips to the kneecap like some sort of finishing touch. My pale, freezing skin suddenly flushed hot beneath my cheeks. When I looked up, flustered, Itachi was leaving the room and Kisame was shaking his head. Deidara and Sasori were exchanging a disapproving look.

"Okay, come on dude. Get over yourself and fix the other one, yeah?" Deidara scolded but Hidan paid him no mind.

"Tch, get over myself? Unlikely, Deidara-kun , have you seen me? I'm too fucking pretty," he said as he rounded to the other side of the table, grin flashing the whole time. He was joking but he also wasn't, he really was pretty, though in a very masculine kind of way. His pink eyes and light, silvered hair betrayed his macho motif because had they been on anyone else, they would have looked delicate. But not really on him, there wasn't a delicate part about him… maybe with the exception of how his fingers moved over my skin. Feeling entirely drained and aching all over, I let my eyes linger on him as a distraction. I didn't want to let on that Itachi leaving the room left an upsetting pit in my belly, just another reminder of how he felt towards me.

That being not much.

I typically made it a point to somewhat overlook Hidan, not allowing myself to fully consider him as his affections were often so overblown and in a way that was far too public or crass that I had no choice but to brush them off as theatrics to cure his own unending boredom. But it was hard to continue ignoring the increasing sweetness of how he handled me at times. He was honey when he needed to be, despite being vinegar the rest of the time... but was that really so bad?

He took hold of my other leg, giving the second knee a popping click followed by a kiss as well. While the pain swelled with a flourish, there was a relief that came with it afterwards, just from my kneecaps being back in their intended positions. I closed my eyes and let loose a breathy sigh of relief.

"Thanks... Hidan," I said meekly, reaching out for him semi-blindly and finding his index finger. It was enough. I wrapped my fingers around it and squeezed, suddenly awash with the powerful feeling of truly being safe and at home . I closed my eyes for a moment to appreciate it, some wayward tears slipping out from the creases of my lids.

"I'm starting to think you keep getting hurt just so I'll take care of you," Hidan said, looking down at me with a tilted head and soft, playful expression, touching his thumb to my cheeks to wipe the tears off.

"You're not that pretty," I said, knowing full well he was, and pretending not to be entirely overcome with my appreciation for the man at that moment. He grinned back like he had some snappy comment but it wouldn't come. Kakuzu was walking in with Pain.

Notes:

Poor bb Izumi... she is back and safe though... for now 3

Listen guys, I got drama in the tag so I gotta bring the drama... things are looking like they might get awk af in the Akatsuki house

Thanks for reading 3 I think I've avoided burnout so far because of all your lovely comments/kudos *frantically begins knocking on all the wood*

Chapter 32: Exhaustion

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Most of the guys seemed almost excited at the prospect of assisting with the torture and interrogation of Eichi, who I imagined was in the same, or at least a similar holding chamber that I had been placed in upon my initial arrival. I had been offered a front row seat and I was pleased to have Pain decline it on my behalf. It wasn't a person I ever needed to see again.

"No, she needs to be cleaned and treated before debriefing," Pain said flatly as Kakuzu lifted me off the table.

"Oh and he's gonna do that?" Deidara balked, pointing at Kakuzu. "What about Konan?"

"Konan is busy in Amegakure. Kakuzu will handle her just fine." Pain said in a way that declared the decision final before turning to Kakuzu directly. "Bring her to me when you're done."

I swallowed. Things were suddenly serious.

Yes, because they were just so silly before.

Pain didn't get involved with me much, I usually received his orders secondhand through one of the guys, which was fine with me. But now I was being taken down the hall to Kakuzu's room with only an uncomfortable bath and bandaging session between me and a meeting with Pain.

"Take your clothes off," Kakuzu ordered as I sat on a towel laid out on the floor, waiting for the bath to fill.

"Wh-what?" Apparently I had enough energy to squeal. I was practically naked already, wasn't that enough?

"Do you normally bathe with clothes on?" Kakuzu asked rhetorically to indicate my idiocy.

"No, but I don't usually bathe with you either…"

"Just do it. It's nothing I've never seen before," he commanded, a vein in his forehead coming to the surface.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better about it?"

"My job isn't to make you feel better, it's to make you smell less like horseshit and make sure you don't get a staph infection. Clothes. Off. Now ."

I glared at him willfully.

"Look," his eyes narrowed, the vein was now pulsing, "you know how easy it would be for me to rip them off you? Take this opportunity I'm affording you, it is a generosity."

And there I was thinking I had gotten past the embarrassing part of my day. The prospect of a warm bath, considering the dank, coolness still residing in my bones, had been very exciting only a few moments ago. Now it seemed like just another form of torture.

I could feel my eyes beginning to mist as the realization set in that this was just something that was going to happen. I stared up at the ceiling in an attempt to will the oncoming tears away, not wanting to get yelled at by Kakuzu for being a crybaby. Honestly, part of me couldn't believe I even had tears left. It truly had been a long night and I idly wondered when I would finally be able to sleep.

Running out of fumes here.

Whatever expressionI made caused Kakuzu to exhale loudly and run his hands down his face, but whatever he was about to say was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," Kakuzu grunted.

I shrunk at the sight. Itachi slowly pushed the door open with his foot, his hands full of medical supplies. The last time I was in a bathroom with him was very different and I cringed at the now painful memory.

Be cool, Izumi. Be cool.

"You can set them on the counter," Kakuzu said with a nodding gesture. Itachi moved to the vanity and, despite trying to be cool, I watched him from my periphery to see if he'd look at me. It was brief, but he did, he seemed to linger on my face, perhaps because of the tears. The corners of his mouth tugged into the smallest of grimaces. I likely disgusted him with how pathetic I was.

Itachi paused in the doorway on his way out. "I… do you need any assistance, Kakuzu?" Itachi asked with some hesitation.

"No," I answered quickly, quietly, despite the question not being for me. Itachi stalled, casting a fleeting glance over me once more before looking back to Kakuzu.

"You heard the girl," he said gruffly. Itachi left without another word.

Suddenly I didn't care as much about my current predicament. It had become a sliding scale and knowing that one option had been both Kakuzu and Itachi performing this cleaning... well, it made just Kakuzu seem that much more bearable. I moved slowly against my sore muscles to pull off my bra.

"Complying now?" Kakuzu noted as he turned the water off, tub full enough.

"Trying to anyway…" I mumbled, my arms straining and fingers fumbling but I eventually got it, a pulse of heat singing my cheeks regardless of Kakuzu not even looking in my direction.

Despite my rather successful bra removal, attempts to pull my undies off were dismal and wrought with strained noises as I struggled to lift my body weight up.

You wanna talk about pathetic? Thank God Itachi isn't here for this...

"Kakuzu…" I said weakly, coated thick with embarrassment. He glanced back at me from over his shoulder. "I'm sorry… I can't..." I strained, trying to push myself up using my abused knees but they were in no mood. I felt so small in so many ways.

I winced in waiting for him to tell me I was useless but surprisingly, it didn't come. He stopped what he was doing and knelt beside me to lift my bottom and tug the last piece of clothing off. His touch didn't linger, nor did he look at me in any way that didn't seem like it was simply assessing the extent of my injuries.

"Stop apologizing," he said with annoyance, lifting me up from my position on the floor and lowering me into the tub. The water burned against my cold skin at first but I quickly adjusted and let out a grateful sigh as the heat enveloped me. I instinctually left my arms to hover over my chest and I crossed my legs tightly.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "You don't need to do that. I don't view you that way," he said blankly as he readied a washcloth with some soap. Looking at the water I could see it had already become slightly discolored from the grime and blood floating off my body.

"I know that… I don't just assume everyone takes some special interest in me," I said defensively, feeling like he was taking a similar jab that Itachi had.

He regarded me but chose not to respond, instead throwing the soapy, wet wash cloth at my face.

"Wash up as best you can, I'll take care of what you can't after," he muttered, taking a seat on the towel and staring blankly at the wall.

"Ugh, you got soap in my eye," I whined, snatching the cloth from my face and blinking madly.

"Maybe if you weren't so concerned with covering up you would have caught it," Kakuzu countered.

I snorted. "Yes, with the stellar reflexes I have going on right now… or ever."

He didn't indulge me with further conversation and I didn't mind that. I washed myself in silence as best I could, wanting nothing more than to just close my eyes and sink into sleep. The heat of the water made it difficult to resist doing so. I sat upright in the tub and let my head lean against the wall as I absently scrubbed at a spot of tree sap on my shoulder.

"Kakuzu…"

"Hm?"

"I'm tired…"

"I'd rather you be finished. Are you finished?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said, feeling like it was at least good enough. I heard him shift behind me, soon appearing at my side and hunkering down. I handed him the cloth over my shoulder and leaned forward to give him better access to my back.

"This water is filthy."

"You have a keen eye," I agreed lazily. He scoffed at my sarcasm and went to work.

I remembered the first time I met Kakuzu all those months ago, and the man at my side now, while largely the same, was not entirely the same. He was somewhat gentle with me, working the cloth more carefully around deeper wounds. This was something he was good at, whether or not he wanted to admit it. I closed my eyes.

"What did you do, fall down a cliff?" His deep voice broke the peace and I snapped awake. He was in the middle of pulling a long sliver of wood from my shoulder blade.

"Mm something like that..." I affirmed with a yawn.

Even without looking at him I could tell he was shaking his head. I heard the irritated sigh that so often came with it.

"Kakuzu…"

"Hm?"

"I'm so tired…"

He was silent for a time. "I know," he eventually said. A moment later I felt a weight on my head and I realized it was his hand giving me some form of awkward, stationary pat. I sighed into it, shutting my lids. However stiff and hesitant it may have been, it was nice. I wondered if there was a sense of catharsis in it for Kakuzu, having to care for me in this way. Like maybe it was an opportunity to do what he never could for his daughter in some regard.

"Why can't I just sleep?" I groaned.

"I imagine once you fall asleep, you'll be out for a while. Your body is exhausted. Pain is impatient."

"Is he… going to get rid of me?" The question had encompassed quite a few of my thoughts as of late.

"I don't know," Kakuzu said honestly after a moment of contemplation, pulling his hand back. "You are a pain in the ass."

"That and I haven't really remembered anything useful… kind of starting to feel like I'm more trouble than I'm worth," I said quietly, frowning at the sullied water.

"You would be better off if he did. Look what happens to you here." He finished plucking out the last of the wood bits and washed over the area.

I shook my head. "He'll kill me, not like he'd ever just let me go..."

Silence. He must have known I was right.

"...I'm not sure he'd get away with that." Kakuzu said eventually.

"What do you mean?"

"People seem to like you, for whatever reason."

"Are you included in these 'people' in this clearly hypothetical scenario?" I asked with my suspicions. The awkward pat may have given him away.

He grunted. "Don't ask me stupid questions."

He pushed himself up and plucked out the drain cover. The brownish water gurgled and I just sat there watching it empty as Kakuzu fiddled with the shower head to rinse me off and wash my hair.

I did feel better after, though if anything, I was even more ready for sleep. Kakuzu had me sit on his bed as he wrapped my torso tightly in a long bandage to cover the smattering of injuries on my back and helped me into a clean pair of undergarments. I was infinitely thankful he was such a consummate professional, to the point that I felt silly for even being worried in the first place about undressing in front of him. By the end, my embarrassment had mostly receded.

Mostly.

I felt my eyes lulling as he went about treating my various, smaller wounds and I idly traced along a winding stitched pattern on his arm to stay occupied, counting the individual stitches. He glanced over initially with irritation as if to ask what I was doing, but after a moment, he seemed to allow it.

I was surprised when he broke the silence yet again.

"I found your socks."

I smiled. "Can't imagine they'll fit you," I speculated.

"It's unlikely," he agreed, pausing before he continued. "That was smart, you know."

Is this… a compliment… from Kakuzu? Should we… see if he's feeling alright?

No. I'd let him have this. It sounded like it physically pained him to give it to me in the first place so I certainly didn't want to discourage him from being nice by teasing him about it. Not this time, anyway.

"I thought it might help you guys find me… fat lot of good that did me," I muttered.

"It pointed us towards him," he said in a way that made me think he considered it no small feat, coming from me anyway. I sensed the bar was low when it came to me.

He had finished at that point, capping the various medicinal concoctions and stowing them once more. He grabbed the set of clothes tucked into the supplies Itachi brought in and I realized, much to my displeasure, that they were a set of Itachi's clothes.

"Mmn," I made an uncomfortable noise as he set them next to me and I stared down at them as if they'd personally affronted me.

"What now ?" he groaned

"I just… is there anything else?" I asked very mouse-like.

Kakuzu looked between me and the set of clothes. It was always hard to tell with him but he seemed to be thinking, analyzing.

"No one will have anything that fits you."

"I know that…" I muttered, staring at the bedspread.

"You don't want them because they're his," he said. "Something happened between you two." He was just thinking aloud at that point.

"I don't want to know," he concluded, not really looking for a response, and I didn't give him one.

I watched curiously as he fumbled through his drawers like he couldn't find what he wanted before settling on one of the many black tank tops that filled it.

"Here. It's a… dress," He said, motioning for me to lift my arms, and I did with some effort. Looking down at myself I couldn't help but giggle, albeit tiredly. He was not wrong.

"Good. Let's go," Kakuzu said with one final appraisal before hefting me up into his arms. I let my head rest against his shoulder as we made our way to the meeting room.

"Hey, Kakuzu?"

"Hm?"

"I think… if things were different, if you chose a different path I mean. I think you would have been a good dad, for what it's worth..." I said, still tracing and counting the stitches up by his shoulder.

He paused for a moment and I could tell I caught him off guard. He didn't seem to know what to say but eventually settled on, "don't be stupid." But his heart wasn't in it and I couldn't help but smile to myself.

"But that's kind of my thing," I protested.

"Fine, but don't be stupid in there ," he nodded toward the double doors as we approached.

"I'll try."

"Izumi…" he grumbled, annoyed at my lackadaisical response.

"If he goes to kill me, will you stop him?"

"No."

"Please?"

He paused just outside the door.

"I'll try." He used my own line against me.

"Touché…" I murmured as he pushed the door in with his foot.

Pain's eyes trained onto me as we crossed the chamber. Kakuzu set me in the chair across from him. The meeting table was massive, practically a monument in the otherwise empty room, so there was still quite a distance between us. Part of me was thankful to be kind of far from Pain as he sometimes threatened the unauthorized use of my bowels, to put it politely. But the other part of me was not looking forward to having to yell across the table as that required energy and a voice.

Oof, sorry pal, we're not-so-fresh out.

Pain gave Kakuzu a nod and told him to get the others if they were finished with Eichi. Kakuzu left curtly, leaving me alone under the spiraling stare of Pain. The look Kakuzu flashed me on his way out reminded me not to be stupid.

"You've been causing trouble, Izumi." Pain started in guns blazing apparently.

I winced. "Ugh… you're going to kill me, aren't you?"

Hey, that's the stupid stuff Kakuzu was warning you against.

I didn't have the energy to form a smart response.

"Hm, tempting, but no." Pain said. I couldn't tell if it was his attempt at a joke or not. "I will say, Orochimaru's borderline obsessive attempts to retrieve you have me very invested in maintaining your residence here. It does make me wonder if he knows something I don't."

I don't think I could have sighed any bigger. It was a tsunami of relief.

"For the sake of transparency, I will also say that I had considered the possibility you were working with the subordinate to escape, but seeing as how you seemingly took measures to return, that is no longer a concern. At this point I'm just looking for you to recount the events from the moment of your capture so I can corroborate Eichi's story."

I was mechanical in my retelling. I had to be. My brain battery was at 1% and I wasn't feeling especially performative or creative. This seemed to suit Pain just fine. He listened intently enough and even nodded in understanding from time to time. As I went on, people began filing in and Pain gestured for me to continue anyway. I hated that Itachi sat next to Pain because I wasn't able to look at Pain without seeing him.

"So that's when Kisame found me," I concluded with a huff, rubbing my eyes.

Pain sat back in his chair thoughtfully, his fingertips pressing against each other. "You're more clever than I gave you credit for, Izumi. Using your abilities to force the flow of the river, even the waterfall, in the opposite direction… it's an ordinary feat for someone like Kisame but for you… you haven't been training, have you?" Pain asked, his eyes narrowed in such a way that made me think "yes" would be the wrong answer. I couldn't tell if my face went red as I thought back to my singular "training session" but I certainly felt baking under the heat of that question.

"Just lucky to manage it in the heat of the moment I guess. It… it wasn't easy," I said, avoiding Itachi's searing stare. He seemed to decompress a little after I answered.

Nice. Technically the truth, the best kind of truth.

Despite the awful things Itachi had said to me, I got the impression that Pain would have been none too pleased to find that not only had I trained, albeit only a little, but someone had actually trained me. Itachi being that someone. Pain seemed to prefer me good and helpless. I suppose it made me easier to manage.

Why are we protecting him after what he did?

I wasn't sure. But I would continue to do so in all of my unsureness.

"Well, I won't complain about luck being on our side. Itachi, any update from the interrogation?" Pain asked.

Itachi dabbed at his eye in answering. "The subordinate has… expired. We were able to obtain some valuable information beforehand."

"Good work," Pain praised with an approving nod in waiting for said information.

Aw, what a good manager. Positive reinforcement is so important.

I was supposed to not be stupid so I quickly shushed my inner dialogue, lest comments like that come out of my mouth.

Itachi went on. "As suspected, he was a spy for Orochimaru, his order to deliver the subject to his master. Prior to that, he'd been feeding him information on the Akatsuki since Orochimaru's departure."

"So yes, I fucked you."

I needed to stop thinking about that and pay attention. Though if he would have stopped calling me "the subject" I'd have an easier time forgetting his sudden detachment. I tried to focus and listen to the words he was saying now rather than thinking of the ones he said then.

"He also divulged that Orochimaru has a sample of the subject's blood but is actively avoiding using the agony curse because there is concern regarding potential permanent damage considering the subject's fragility. He is, however, running out of options now."

"So yes, I fucked you."

Every time he called me "the subject" I wanted to disappear.

Pain looked largely unperturbed. "To increase security we've arranged a room for Izumi. We will be ramping up our plans to capture the tails beasts very shortly so she will need a secure location while we are indisposed with those activities anyway. Subordinates will not be permitted access, also currently employed subordinates will be undergoing screenings to assess their allegiances. Without Eichi feeding Orichimaru information, it should be harder for him to track down Izumi's location should she leave base, so that frees up more options regarding travel."

Pain snapped his head in my direction, speaking directly to me. "Izumi. We need to see results soon."

I swallowed hard and nodded in understanding.

Sure, we'll just remember better, because that's something we totally have control over.

"Was there anything else, Itachi?" Pain asked, slipping some papers into a file folder in front of him. Hidan on the other side of Pain was craning his head to look at them, looking bored as ever.

"Just one thing. The man we've run into on several occasions now... his name is Aki, and according to the subordinate, he is Orochimaru's son."

The world tilted on its axis and I felt myself sliding out of my chair. I grabbed ahold of the edges to maintain an upright position. How could that be? I saw myself holding him as a baby, only a child myself, and I felt somewhere deep within me that we were connected somehow… like perhaps we were even related...

The part that horrified me the most was thinking that maybe that was still true...

Could I also be Orochimaru's child? Is that why he wants me so bad, he's just taking what's his?

I didn't know what to make of the information. The wheels were turning but I wasn't going anywhere. It was something I would need to address later when I had a properly functioning brain and not jellyfish brain.

"Interesting. I wasn't aware that Orochimaru had any kin... He certainly has his secrets… it would seem that is all then." Pain ended the meeting and I impatiently waited for someone to gather me, cursing my useless, balloon knees.

I idly wished they were filled with helium so I could float off.

My eyes went into overtime to nab someone's attention as I noticed Itachi bee lining for me with a very unforgiving face. My attempts were fruitless and Itachi was quickly upon me.

"Why didn't you tell me about the blood? He told me you knew ." He started in, his words clipped and concise.

Guess we're skipping the small talk then.

"I was going to yesterday... but then I… I wasn't sure it would matter to you. I didn't want to bother you..." I was proud of myself for stringing together a whole sentence with minimal stuttering under the very severe gaze of Itachi Uchiha.

"Of course it matters, it is quite literally my job, Izumi," The frustration was plain in his voice. "I need to know about these things and be prepared. I can't just be at your beck and call at any given moment."

"I don't expect that… I-I don't expect anything. I was prepared to just handle it on my own," I said, my breath becoming increasingly shallow.

"Izumi…" his throat produced some sort of odd, helpless grunt. "If something had happened to you… and I could have helped if only I'd known… I would have..." he abruptly paused again with shogi face before continuing, "I would have looked incompetent to Pain. This is my livelihood at stake here. You need to tell me these things."

It's not that I didn't hear him because I did, with remarkable, painful clarity as I was informed for the first time how much his employment under Pain meant to him and how high it ranked compared to little ol' me at the bottom of the barrel. Yeah, no, I heard him loud and clear, and had I not been distracted by the red bead of blood begging to spill over the edge of Itachi's lower left eyelid, I probably would have already burst into tears. I was that done .

"Itachi… you're bleeding," I said quietly, not even thinking as I reached up to blot away the crimson tear. He seemed genuinely stunned, whether it was at the blood or my reach, I wasn't sure. His hand fell atop mine, holding it there against his face for a moment, his eyes flitting shut for the briefest of moments.

I was foolish in thinking that he was comforted by the touch somehow, but I quickly realized my mistake in misreading him. When his eyes snapped open there was only indignation, his hand twisting to clamp around mine and push it back at me.

"Please do not change the subject. Is there anything else I need to know about that you've been keeping from me?" His voice was raised at me again.

"N-no… I-I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean t-to..." I eked out through the tears as my face immediately began to leak upon opening my mouth. I felt so incredibly small as he towered over my sitting form and I couldn't help but clutch myself by the shoulders. It was the closest I could get to disappearing.

"Ah… I didn't... " Itachi sounded so quiet and torn, his hand shooting out towards me in a rushed, instinctive motion, but froze in place before pulling back and falling to his side.

"You're tired. Let me bring you to your room," he said quietly, almost defeated. It was the closest semblance to the Itachi I had known and I was just so confused by it all. All I could manage was to shake my head and frantically search the room for anyone to notice me, but most people were still chatting amongst themselves, mostly about the interrogation.

"Izumi… please. I can bring you, it would fall under the professional umbrella." He was referring to his comment about not interacting unless required by our "professional terms". That just made it worse somehow. I bit my lip in an attempt to disguise my increasingly dour expression and shook my head even more frantically.

Finally I managed to lock my pleading eyes with Kisame. He was speaking with Kakuzu but as soon as he saw me, he quickly gestured that he needed a moment before rushing over.

"Heyyy kiddo, everything okay?" He asked, already knowing the answer based on the uneasy look softening his blunt features. His eyes passed from my distraught form to Itachi's and narrowed.

I could feel my own face turning sour, like if I ventured to speak I would have no choice but to start sobbing. I just nodded hastily.

I didn't dare look at Itachi, but Kisame mouthed something that looked like "what the fuck" at him.

"Alright, let's get you to your new room. You sure you're okay?" He asked again.

The floodgates broke as soon as I opened my mouth, as I suspected. "I'm just… so tired. I don't f-feel good," I said for the thousandth time that day, tears streaming and my arms out for him to take me away. I was just so beyond ready for that nightmare of a day to be behind me. He immediately obliged and I felt like a child the way he carried me against the front of him, somewhat on his hip, my arms wrapped around his neck as I buried my tear-soaked face into his cloak.

"The hell are you thinking? Look at her for fuck's sake," Kisame whisper-hissed at Itachi, as if I wouldn't hear over my own crying, which to my credit, wasn't all that audible. Maybe he thought I was too deep in my own emotions. Regardless, nothing else was said as we made our leave.

"Kisame," I said quietly into his shoulder as he travelled down the hallways.

"You should take it easy, Iz. We can talk when you wake up."

"I messed it up…I tried to do what you said but he… he really does not like me."

Now it was Kisame making the frustrated sounds, some sort of exasperated sigh. "No… no, it's not like that. He's just… he's just Itachi. We're gonna take a break from him, alright?"

"I told him… I told him I loved him, Kisame… was that stupid?" I asked, cringing.

I felt him pause in his gait, halting our path down the hallway. The arm supporting my back squeezed me tightly against his chest as he released a heavy sigh.

"Ugh, kid… you really did try, didn't you?"

I nodded lethargically.

"Alright… I'm only gonna say this once, okay? Because it hurts my man cred and my general status of badass, so don't even repeat it, it's just for your ears. You got that?"

I nodded again.

"People like us, Itachi, me, the Akatsuki, you get the picture... we don't hear those words. Ever . It's the sacrifice we made when we chose this life. It just comes with the territory. That being said... any one of us would be lucky to hear them at all, lucky to hear them from… I don't know, the fucking human equivalent of a walrus, let alone you . Itachi is the fucking idiot, Iz, not you… not for that reason anyway… some of your puns are pretty bad though, I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

He just couldn't bear to be serious for more than two seconds.

"You're sweet…" I said to his shoulder.

"Don't tell anyone."

"I wouldn't dare, they wouldn't believe me anyway. Also, I'll work on my puns." I said with a yawn.

"Thank God. Hey, you ready to see your room? I heard it has walls and a floor and everything." He said as he pushed open the door with his shoulder.

It was a plain room with four walls, Kisame was not lying. Within those walls was a single bed pushed against the corner, a night stand beside it with one lamp atop, and a simple chest at the foot of the bed. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

"Geez, Kakuzu really skimped out in the decor department," Kisame murmured to himself as he swiftly pulled back the blankets with a quick yank.

The feeling of that bed, my bed , beneath me was, quite frankly, indescribable. It wasn't a particularly high quality bed as far as beds go, but it was mine and I had been fantasizing about laying in it before I even knew it existed. I vaguely felt Kisame pull the blankets back over me. I twisted my body into a ball beneath them and squeezed out what I hoped would be the last of my tears. He said something but I didn't hear it. I was out.

An Aside: Kisame and Itachi with special guest Hidan

Kisame plopped down at the kitchen table next to Itachi, cup of coffee in hand. It was much later in the afternoon than he would normally enjoy his coffee, but that morning had gotten a bit kerfuffled.

"Hey man, how's your day going? That's cool, let me tell you about mine. You see, I just got done watching Izumi cry herself to sleep in fetal position because some asshole was being a fucking asshole to her. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" Kisame asked casually, taking a sip from his mug.

Itachi closed his eyes, loosing a sigh heavy with fettered embarrassment, his hands pressed together as if in prayer, tapping against his lips anxiously. "I… I don't even know why I talk to her at all. Every time I open my mouth now, I'm making her cry. Even when I'm not trying to."

"So I've noticed," Kisame said pointedly, taking another sip and putting on a pair of readers which were comically small on his large face. He began perusing the half-done crossword out on the table. "You having second thoughts?"

"No…" Itachi said, burning a hole into the table with his stare before releasing a long, breathy huff, "Yes…" he amended. "But I know it's because I am being selfish. I tell myself to stay away but then I… I see she needs help or she's done something dangerous and I can't even stop myself from intervening."

"So just fucking apologize to her man, tell her you're a dumb fuck, this isn't rocket science. She'll forgive you in an instant." Kisame began writing a word down but, with a frown, immediately erased it.

"That's the problem, Kisame. She will and she shouldn't . What I said to her was unforgivable, that is the reason I said it. I didn't want to give myself an out, I knew it would be all too tempting."

"For fuck's sake, don't act like people can't learn from their mistakes. If you never forgave me for half the shit I've said then we wouldn't be having this super fun conversation right now."

Itachi gave Kisame a sideways look, like he wanted for this to be true but was having too difficult a time allowing this leniency for himself, not after what he'd said. Not after he saw how it destroyed her.

"She told me what she said to you," Kisame said, a certain seriousness to him as he wrote the word 'dango' on 36 ACROSS of the crossword. His handwriting needed work.

"Hm?" Itachi questioned absently, his mind barrelling through all his options and potential consequences. He had already played out every match though, and the decision he had made was the most optimal one for her. So he thought.

Although, that was before he knew about the Orochimaru and the blood situation. It was also before he'd gotten a very real glimpse of Hidan with her. Things had become more complicated.

"She hit you with the "L" word," Kisame elaborated.

"Oh… that. Yes… I… I shouldn't have allowed that to happen." He said, shaking his head, continuing to drill into the table.

He had every opportunity to stop her. He had tried somewhat, yes, but he could have done more. He could have literally clapped his hand over her mouth and sent her on her way just as he had afterward anyway. Itachi was not blind to the fact that the sound of those words coming from her lips was both the most enchanting and wretched thing he had ever heard in his life, both for very different reasons. He had sensed it was coming, and his depraved desire to hear it even just once overpowered his logic to spare her from the torture of such an unrequited confession.

Not truly unrequited, of course. But to her knowledge, yes. Very much so.

It was by far the thing he regretted most about that night. And even then, if he could go back, he wasn't sure he would be able to change it. He kept it on loop in his head.

"Can't blame you for wanting to hear but man… she's got it bad. You've got it bad," Kisame eventually said.

Itachi had nothing to say to this. Kisame had no idea how bad he had it. It was much more trying than he'd ever anticipated. It wasn't the worst thing he'd ever done of course, considering he'd taken lives, but he'd been able to run from those misdeeds, bury them and push them down into the darkness so at least he couldn't see them quite so clearly. But this one was different. She was still there, right in front of him every day. He had to hear her laugh and cry, see her lay on a table covered in holes and scrapes and bruises that he could have prevented had he only set aside his own self-loathing and listened to her.

Letting the table have a rest, Itachi glanced over to the crossword. Kisame was writing, then erasing the word "judgment" with a growl. The clue being "divine punishment".

Yes, it did feel that way.

"No you were right, there's just an 'e' in the middle." Itachi pointed out quietly.

Kisame hastily scribbled down "judgement" with an appraising smile. "Hey thanks, Uchiha."

"Mhm…" Back to staring at the table. A moment of silence passed. "Did you see how she looked at me in there?" Itachi groaned, not able to tear his thoughts away from it.

"Keh… I think everyone did, man," Kisame said with a big oof. "Did you see how Hidan looked at her in there?"

Itachi closed his eyes. He couldn't unsee it.

"I don't want to talk about that," Itachi said flatly.

"Well whether or not you want to talk about it, it's happening. Dude is different for her. Fuck, even my pants were a bit charmed off by him."

"You're not helping."

"Neither are you. You're just letting her walk right into that buffoon's arms," Kisame said with a disapproving shake of his head.

"She's allowed to make her own decisions."

"Mm. With the exception of when you make them for her, right?"

Itachi probably should have seen that one coming. Kisame was good at putting things into perspective for him and he wished he had deferred to him prior to any questionable decision-making he'd done recently. Too late now. Itachi tended to get in his head about things and he fully recognized that his tunnel vision, while making him an ideal shinobi at times, did not help with social interactions and nuances, and it certainly didn't help him with Izumi.

He sighed deeply and let out a string of words he could hardly believe he was even vocalizing. "Maybe he'll be good for her. Better than me anyway."

Kisame laughed way too hard at this.

"What? You just said yourself he did something to your pants." Itachi said.

"Hey hey hey now, let's be careful with how we paraphrase things... and fuck you for being funny when you're supposed to be depressing," Kisame said, much more amused than disgruntled. "My point is that charming is not the same as good ."

"At least he's one of the two. More than I can speak to."

"Yeesh. I know I requested depressing but maybe dial it back."

"My point remains."

"Yes, he's a very charming, sociopath, and I mean that in a very legitimate, clinical sense."

Sociopath. A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.

Yes. He did seem to fit the bill if you removed Izumi as an outlier. The table really should have been on fire at that point based on the intensity Itachi managed to levy against it.

"What's a seven letter word for 'botch'?" Kisame asked.

"Failure."

"Hm, no. Second letter is 'I'."

"Mistake."

"Mm, nice." He promptly jotted it down.

"I hate irony," Itachi muttered.

"Oh, but it loves you" Kisame said, giving his partner a sideways look.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Think about it, man. You don't see the irony in the fact that you're a pacifist without much time left, and Hidan's a sociopathic warmonger that will live forever? Total opposites, like you couldn't get any more fucking opposite. Hell of a selection she's been given… just saying."

"That's not ironic, it's just unfortunate," Itachi noted drearily.

Kisame took some time to adjust his glasses, pulling them down the bridge of his nose just a bit, looking at Itachi over the top of the lenses to give him a proper disapproving look. "What's unfortunate... is that you pushed her right towards the sociopath. Nice."

"Who's a sociopath?" Hidan's voice came from around the corner as he sauntered in looking even more full of himself than usual. Itachi suddenly had the overwhelming urge to remove his own ears.

"Sasori," Kisame answered casually. "Plus the dude's creepy as hell with that doll shit."

"RIght? Can't trust something that doesn't fucking bleed," Hidan agreed from the fridge, poking around and loading a heap of items into his arms.

Itachi and Kisame otherwise fell silent upon his entrance. Itachi continuing his psychic assault on the table and Kisame writing down and furiously erasing several words on the crossword puzzle.

Hidan paid them no mind, only pausing to acknowledge Itachi on his way out. He leaned into him and spoke pleasantly like it was a perfectly innocent conversation.

"Hey dude, I don't know what the fuck you did but thanks for stepping aside. Izumi... well, she always seemed a little distracted by you so… I think this'll be good for us." He punctuated it with a wink.

"How embarrassing for you that I needed to step aside for her to finally take notice." Itachi couldn't help himself. He knew Hidan was just goading him for a reaction and Itachi was the king of not providing one... so why on earth would he falter now? Pathetic. He needed to get control of himself.

"Nah, what's going to be embarrassing for you is when she finally has a basis of comparison." True to Hidan, the ever crass and foul-mouthed miscreant, he muscled all the food he was carrying into one arm so he could grab his crotch with the other, giving it a bit of a shake in Itachi's direction. Itachi very much wished to remove the smirk from his face.

"Oh boy," Kisame muttered under his breath as Itachi stood quickly, the chair skidding back with a grinding squeal. Itachi managed to maintain his silent composure, though he could hear the blood pumping angrily in his ears. It was not the implication that Hidan's anatomy might be more robust, Itachi was entirely unconcerned with that.

No, it was something else. Something that made him feel like if Hidan could talk about bedding her like this before he'd even done so, how could he possibly trust him to actually care for her?

"Why don't we take it down a notch, children? Hm?" Kisame said, his hands out in calming gesture, motioning for Itachi to sit and Hidan to back off.

"Aw, come on. I was just trying to be fucking polite at first. It's your boy here that turned things around." It was very clear that Hidan was entirely amused with the whole scenario and Itachi's reaction in particular.

"Keh, yeah. Sure. And here I was thinking maybe you changed a bit for her." Kisame said with a tip of his head.

"For her? Absolutely. For you, and fucking you ?" he shifted his gaze back to Itachi who was at eye level. "Nah. No fucking way."

The two stared at each other like there was an invisible tether between them and whoever broke it first lost the girl. Itachi was well aware that he'd already done that, yet he played this game anyway. His stone countenance remained unchanged, save for the sharingan flashing to color his eyes with that crimson veil.

Hidan pushed his chin forward in a challenging kind of way, daring Itachi to do something. And oh, how he wanted to. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so enraged that his hands threatened to shake. His face would not reveal this though.

"Tch," Hidan eventually scoffed with a grin. "You're worried I'm gonna hurt her or something? Seems like you beat me to the punch, pal," he said with a cocky smirk.

Itachi had nothing to say to this.

"Yeah, that's what I fucking thought. Get cucked, gentlemen," Hidan chirped as he left.

Kisame lazily lolled his head to look at Itachi. "Nice."

Notes:

I know he's not exactly a fan-fave but I love Daddy Kaku so y'all are effing STUCK with him :3 hehehe

Okay and I need to ask, how are we feeling about pairings? Team Itachi? Hidan? Does anyone have any hope for Deidara anymore lmao?

Thanks for reading 3

Chapter 33: Waking Up

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The best and worst part about falling into a sleep so deep that you forget you've ever been awake is that nothing brings you out of it. Not any amount of noise or jostling, emotion or obligation, nothing. What that means for dreams though, is that they don't end when it gets too scary.

You don't wake up. You just keep watching.

The fire. The screams. The baby. They'd all gone on for an impossible, indeterminable amount of time and all I could do after a while was turn away from them, crouched on the ground with my hands over my ears.

Seeing that it was merely a dream however, my hands weren't corporeal, neither were my ears for that matter, so I heard it all quite clearly regardless.

In my seemingly infinite stay in that nightmare of a place, pun intended, I will admit that I was at least forced to really think about it. Where I was, what was happening, these nightmares in general.

What did they mean?

They were something I had always run from, hid from. But why?

Why should I?

It was my past. It had already happened, whether I knew about it or not, and I was going to find out about it one way or another. Pain needed me to.

My life literally depended on it.

So why should I let it bully me into a corner and make me watch with my eyelids forcibly peeled back when I could just open them myself and do it on my own terms?

I thought to push beyond where I'd been before. I wasn't sure it was a good decision per se, but it was the one I went with nevertheless. In all fairness, this could be said about most of my decisions.

So I would attempt to take control of this lucid dreaming situation and actually explore the hellscape I found myself in.

There was a figure in the distance, in front of the flames and I wondered if I was supposed to go to them. See their face.

I ran towards them for a long time, too long to not have gotten any closer, and yet, that seemed to be the case.I kept running, kept trying, but to my dismay, they somehow grew even smaller in the distance.

Ugh. If that's not what I was supposed to be doing then what ?

I stood there, looking around me at a loss, the ground aflame in areas and littered with bodies. Having spent a decent amount of time in such a setting at that point, I had actually numbed to the visual of it a bit.

Hooray exposure therapy.

There was one corpse in particular though that gave me pause. She looked so serene, cheek to the ground, a thin trail of scarlet streaking from the corner of her lips and pooling in a neat little puddle in the dirt.

Despite the blood, her lips seemed to almost form a smile. Wavy, wild hair dusted darkly across her lashes. Her open eyes seemed to lock with mine but I told myself it was just a coincidence, I only happened to be standing in front of her.

I had stopped on this woman in particular because it was me .

I couldn't wrap my little lizard brain around how ? How could it be me if this was some weird distortion of a memory ? I wasn't in the future… was I?

Not really sure what to do next, I laid beside her with my own cheek flush to the ground, staring back into her vacant, unblinking eyes. I brushed the bangs out of her face. I had thought it was me at a glance, but this woman was different.

Older. Prettier, even through the dirt and gore adorning her delicate features.

"Who are you?" I whispered.

I stared at her and the longer I did, the more she seemed to smile. I couldn't tell if it was in my head or not. Was her smile actually growing or had I just imagined it? But it still remained sweet somehow, like she might burst into a soft laugh at any moment.

You can imagine my surprise when she did just that.

I startled backwards with a gasp, moving to scramble away with my heart pitching against my ribs.

"No, honey. Please don't look away… Please don't forget me," she pleaded, strangely sad but again with a laugh, like I was being a silly child.

The laugh, while soft, was somehow so much louder than it needed to be and it echoed for far too long. It hurt my head terribly, to the point that I needed to cringe my eyes shut.

I felt like I was somehow letting her down but when I opened them, she was still there, smiling back at me, wistful and morose. I felt compelled to stay, laying back down as I had been. She mirrored my previous gesture and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

I nearly crumbled beneath her touch as I felt it all hit me at once.

"M….Mom?" I asked weakly, a tremor wobbling the word.

Her smile grew so large, with such relief. Like she'd been so afraid I would never remember and all that fear washed away from her in one blustering sweep.

She was stunning, even decorated with streaks of rouge, and I longed to be in her arms.

There was no biting back tears, I ugly cried as the realization really seeped into me.

This was my only memory of her and I couldn't even really call it that. But she was just so beautiful, I wanted to keep looking at her smile to make up for all the years I should have seen it.

"Oh little bean, you always wore your emotions on your sleeve," she said with a tilted head, that soft smile, continuing to card through my hair.

She was perfect and she called me little bean . I suddenly realized where I had gotten some of my speech patterns from and I broke down even more until I was nothing but atoms.

How could someone do this to her... to everyone?

"Mom I… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I lived and you... you-"

"Shhh, none of that is important. This is what's important." She said, her eyes gentle and nurturing, but still with some urgency behind them.

I stared, perplexed, as she pushed a swaddled little package towards me. A baby. I was certain there had not been a baby in her arms before but there it was now, so who was I to argue?

We were working off dream rules and I was fairly certain that meant anything goes.

He was wrapped tightly, she pushed him further towards me and I immediately snatched him up.

"You guys need to take care of each other, alright?" she said.

"Aki?" I asked with a crackling voice.

She nodded warmly with a smile, she was beaming at the sight of me holding this child.

"M-my brother?" I ventured to guess.

Another nod. Another smile.

I nodded back voraciously, coming to tears again. "Y-yeah, of course."

"He's so small, he's an even littler bean than you. He needs your help, honey." Her words became so quiet.

They hit me in a strange way. He was with that Orochimaru. He probably did need my help, even beyond this ethereal construct I was trapped in at the moment.

Everything started to blur and fade. I was desperate to keep talking to her, I had so many questions but one was blaring in my mind much louder than the rest.

If Aki was my brother and Orochimaru's son… did that mean the same for me? Was I his daughter?

I called out for her but the curtain was already closing. I cried out louder but was met with only silence, not even an echo.

Then it was darkness. Darkness until I awoke once more after what had felt like ages.

"Well, if it isn't sleeping beauty. Have a good nap, sweetheart?" Hidan's voice was the first thing I heard as I began to stir and I was delighted to not be alone.

Groggy and out of it, I rubbed my eyes and blinked them open. He was sitting in a chair against the opposite wall, leaning back in it at a precarious angle, his necklace in hand with a bead pinched between two fingers.

No shirt, of course.

I surveyed the room with knitted brows, taking a moment to recall that it was mine. It was odd and unfamiliar still.

"Hidan… how long was I out?" I asked, pushing myself to sit and wiping a hearty spit stain from my cheek. Even without seeing it, I could tell my hair was looking like some out-of-this-world abstract art.

"Mm, only a couple days," he said thoughtfully.

"A couple days ?!" I hissed, nice and loud.

Hey, your voice is back. Neat.

"Mhm, couple more and you woulda missed your own birthday," Hidan said casually, tipping back in the chair even further, probably to show off his abs.

Intentional or not, they were certainly being shown off.

Geez Izumi, thirsty much?

I mean… I was. I looked at the nightstand for some water but there was just a lamp. Couldn't drink that. I scowled.

"My birthday…" I stared at Hidan, a bit perplexed. "How would you know that?"

Frankly I'd nearly forgotten myself. It was never really celebrated growing up, so I'd never come to expect anything out of it.

"I'm a psychic. I can read thoughts and shit," Hidan said with a shrug.

"Oh yeah? What am I thinking then?" I asked, a smile crawling onto my face.

He smirked. Hidan loved to play games, and this was certainly a game to him. Though some would also say that I was also a game to him…

He regarded me pensively, even going so far as to stand up and slowly swagger over, head tilting this way and that as he studied me. Hidan's posture was always very hip-forward for lack of a better term. I wasn't sure if it was his natural stance, or something he played at on purpose because of how it presented his torso in a rather appealing way. All extended and somewhat leaning back, especially when he folded his arms over his chest.

He folded his arms over his chest.

Okay... I was beginning to wonder if he really was psychic. That would be terrible news for me. He didn't need to hear me thinking about how nice he looked, he already thought that enough for the both of us.

I snapped my attention back to reality when he took my hand in his, pretending to trace lines in my palm like he knew what any of them meant, not to mention that had nothing to do with mind-reading even if he did.

"Hm, you're thinking... about how devilishly good-looking I am," he said with a smirk.

It was a total Hidan answer. No way could he have actually picked up on that.

"Try again, Prince Charming," I said with a playful roll of my eyes, praying his ultra-Izumi insight wasn't high enough to know he'd actually been somewhat right.

"Prince Charming"? You trying to flirt or something?

It was only because he said the sleeping beauty thing… leave me alone.

"Alright fine… you're thinking about how dry your throat is…" he tried again, and as I was about to give him a bingo, he continued on, "... and how I'm a tall drink of water."

I snorted out a laugh. "So, out of curiosity, do all of your predictions end with me thinking about how attractive you are?"

"I don't know, should they?" Hidan pressed with a wolfish bite of his lip. "Would you say that'd be accurate?" He examined my hand thoughtfully. Uncurled my fingers one by one, smoothing the pad of his thumb along them as he straightened them out. Glancing up to meet my gaze intently, he watched in obvious amusement as he placed my palm flat against his stomach.

"Hidan…" I scolded, trying to play it cool. Trying being the operative word. My God, he was forward.

If I had to make an assessment, I'd say his skin was very smooth, and his abs very, uh… nice.

I imagined what we'd look like if anyone were to see us at that moment. A perfectly sculpted man being caressed and worshipped by some sort of muppet with dried drool on her face and a mop of hair sticking up haphazardly as if recently suffering an electrocution. Nice.

"Izumi…" he mocked back, holding my hand there. I... didn't exactly try to pull away.

"You're ridiculous," I huffed, feeling the heat rising in my face.

"That's not a 'no'." It was practically his catch phrase at that point.

He pulled my hand lower, guiding my fingers to traipse along each curve and dip of his muscles, my fingertips sinking in as they passed below his navel. At the first sign of hair, I tore my hand back like I'd touched lava and not his stupid happy trail.

"No, then!" I blustered, shaking my head to clear my thoughts.

Geez, I'd just woken up from a two-day hibernation, why the heck was he trying to mess with me like this?

Mm, have you met him?

True. Guess I thought he'd allow me a break perhaps, seeing as how my current state of being could only be described as "pungent chaos".

"May I ask what you're doing in my room?" I folded my arms so he couldn't steal my hands again.

"Feels nice to say that, huh? Your room."

"Mhm, and it'll feel even nicer to kick you out," I teased, tipping my chin up.

He raised his brows, bottom lip pushing out with a nod. I could practically see the words "challenge accepted" flashing over his head in neon lights.

"Well, if you must fucking know, I was bringing you a chair," he said as if it were so obvious, gesturing to the chair he'd been sitting in.

"What do I need a chair for?"

"So I have somewhere to fucking sit? Damn, fucking selfish much? Oh, unless you wanted me in the bed with you," he brightened with a grin. "That's cool too."

I deadpanned. "Hidan, that is not why you're in here."

"Alright, fine. You got me. I came to see how you got your hair to do this really cool thing it's doing. How on God's fucked up earth is this even happening right now?" he asked in sheer astonishment, reaching out to touch it and verify it wasn't an illusion.

"Hidan!" I snorted out an exceptionally loud laugh. "I'm being serious!"

"So am I! It's really fucking sexy, just look at this. Gravity defying. Goddamn." He feigned awe as he attempted to run some fingers through it very unsuccessfully. "Nah…" he sighed, idly playing with just one stray lock sticking up from my forehead. "Maybe I just wanted to be the first person to hear that damn pig snort of yours. Kinda cute, y'know. Not to mention these are my handy work." He lightly patted the tops of my previously dislocated knees through the blanket. "They feelin' okay?"

"Y-Yeah," I said, basically dumbfounded by his uncharacteristic display of thoughtfulness mixed in with all that run-of-the-mill teasing. "They're okay, I think."

He raised a brow, squeezing gently at my knees. "Yeah? Wanna take 'em for a spin?"

"Hidan… " I murmured, blushing furiously.

The genuine smile he wore, which was actually quite handsome on him, morphed into a sly grin as his tongue peeked out between his teeth. "I was talkin' about just gettin' up and walkin' around a few steps. What were you thinking of, sweetheart?"

Oh my god. You can't just assume everything he says is sexual you freaking nasty.

Alright, this was getting ridiculous. It was impossible to find an in-between with these men. I'd been criticized for not realizing the sexual nature of his comments before, and now I was over-compensating assuming all of them were.

Apparently I needed a guide for Hidan as well.

As well…? That's some wishful thinking there, my dear.

I caught myself. It was valid, all signs pointed to me not needing one for Itachi anymore… God, couldn't I go five minutes without thinking of him?

Hidan tended to do pretty well to distract me from those thoughts but it looked like nothing worked 100%...

"Nothing! Yes, let's walk!" I shouted like a maniac, jolting back to reality and flipping the blankets off me. That's when I first noticed I was wearing Deidara's clothes yet again. Hidan explained that Kakuzu had redone my bandages at one point and they decided Deidara's clothes would fit best because, and I quote, "he's practically a chick himself."

I just shook my head and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

So far so good.

"You got it?" Hidan asked, standing to my side and taking my hand as I pushed off the bed.

My my… what a gentleman.

I was caught off guard by this and found myself staring down at my hand in his as I stood. His was just so large. Calloused and rough from wielding that weapon of his, but still somehow soft in a way.

It had only been two days but I felt oddly weak. It reminded me of when the seals were broken but not quite as intense. Probably just a side-effect of chakra over-expenditure. Still, my knees felt fine and I walked around the room without any assistance.

"How's it feel?" Hidan asked.

"Good," I said, bouncing a bit in place.

"Yeah it does…" Hidan said, his voice suddenly low as he stared at me intently, eyes fixated on my chest.

Alright, that one was sexual.

"You can't even see anything, my chest is wrapped, you biscuit brain," I chided with an eyeroll.

"Oh come on, like you're the only one with a good imagination."

My attempt at keeping a straight face was unsuccessful and my smile only made his grow wider with the apparent victory.

"Speaking of chests… why don't you walk over to that one," Hidan suggested as he sat down in the chair, watching me. He gestured to the chest at the foot of my bed. "Go on."

"Okay…?"

The chest was not far away. It was a small room. I walked over to it in about two seconds and looked at him.

"Well, I made it, if you can believe it."

"Prouda you. Now open it."

He had a little smirk on his face that made me a bit worried about what he was up to. I half expected snakes or a spray of blood or something horrific to come flying out at me when I opened the thing. But that's not what happened.

No, what I found wasn't at all what I expected.

There had been a dress back in the shop I went to with Hidan and Kakuzu. It was pretty, I recalled admiring the soft blue stitching on the otherwise white dress. But now there it was, sitting neatly folded in the chest at the end of my bed.

The only item in there. The first thing given to me to store in my new room.

"Happy early birthday, sweetheart," Hidan said quietly from the chair.

He'd been calling me that for a long time.

Sweetheart.

It started out sarcastically, like it was an insult somehow, some condescending thing. But this one hit differently. Over time, the "sweethearts" took on a different tone and I wasn't sure of the exact moment the definition had changed for him, but it did somewhere along the way.

Maybe it was the way he said it, but I felt strangely warm at this one in particular.

I looked back at him completely bemused. He was sitting in there, manspreading like it was his job, elbows on his knees, terrible hunched posture just watching me with the most endearing look on his face.

My eyes returned to the dress and I picked it up, unfurling it to confirm yes, it was indeed the same dress I was thinking of. The fabric was soft and shimmery as I kneaded it between my fingers, even in the dull light of my lone lamp.

"Hidan…" I breathed out, completely taken aback by the gesture. I couldn't stop smiling.

"If you really needed to know…" Hidan began, his voice lulling into this deep timbre, "this face that you're making right now... absolute batshit hair and all. That's why I'm here in your room."

I felt my face preheat and quickly come to temp.

Ding.

I didn't even know how to react to this somewhat serious, charming Hidan.

I was at a loss for words. I knew thanks were in order of course, but it didn't really feel like just a simple thank you could be enough. Like words alone wouldn't really get across how much I appreciated him. Er, the gift I mean.

Oh my. Are we about to get steamy? Because you should really brush your teeth first.

No, not like that ...

"Hidan I… I don't know what to say," I said, staring down at the dress in my hands as I slowly stepped toward him.

"Hmm, you could try 'Thank you, Hidan. You're the best, Hidan. How on earth did you get so fucking sexy, Hidan?'" He grinned, tipping back in the chair again with his fingers laced behind his head.

The show off. The chair slipped for a second but he quickly caught the balance and continued to rock back on the flimsy legs with a cocky grin.

"Would you stop that?" I tutted. He leaned back more.

"Stop what?" he feigned ignorance.

"You're incorrigible."

"Hm, nope. That word is too long, not sure what you're talking about." Tipping further. Biting his lip.

"The chair , Hidan. You're going to break it." I said with a hand on my hip.

"Aw, and here I was thinking you were worried about me. "

"Well I know you can't break."

At this, he grinned. He took great pride in being an indestructible force.

"Yeah, but I'd let you try anyway," he said. The devil.

"You know, I'm trying to thank you here," I said, mildly impatient, mildly amused.

"Well damn, you're not trying very fucking hard, been sitting here the whole time." Hidan grinned, attempting to get my goat. And he got it.

It was like my goat was just standing there in a field, grazing on dandelions or some other delicious weeds, minding its own business and then Hidan comes along and snatches it without any resistance. Not even a bleat.

Bye goat. Thanks for nothing.

My eye twitched and I quickly decided I would make him stop tipping the stupid chair.

It clanked against the floor noisily as all four legs were suddenly connected with it again, my butt plopping hard in his lap.

My brain, my absolute walnut of a brain, flashed back to Itachi for the briefest of moments as my legs dangled and kicked over the side of Hidan just as they had with Itachi during poker.

Stop that.

"Well, this is one way to thank me," Hidan murmured, bringing me back to this plane of existence, his voice low and face very close to mine.

Feeling awkward and nervous under his stare, I quickly brought my head to rest against his shoulder, my arms wrapping around him. "Thank you, Hidan... You're not the worst, Hidan... How on earth did you get so gosh darn thoughtful, Hidan?" I said, pulling myself against him a bit tighter.

There was an odd fluttery feeling in my belly as his arms did not hesitate to reciprocate, pulling me against him entirely so there wasn't a molecule of air left between us.

Hidan was truly massive compared to me and I could feel the raw power of his forearms and biceps as they flexed against my back in the squeeze. Wearing Deidara's crop top meant his skin pressing against mine in areas and I swallowed hard at the feeling of his fingers dimpling into my waist.

To my horror, he inhaled deeply which had me freezing up for a moment.

Oh my God. Now is NOT the time for him to smell you.

Somehow he didn't seem to mind.

"I feel like you went off script. I fed you the lines and everything and you still fucked it up," he grumbled into my hair and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's called improvisation."

"Mm, you and these big words today. I like that sexy brain of yours even more than the hair. Makes me wanna eat it."

He proceeded to feign eating the top of my skull.

With enough useless squirming and giggling on my end he ultimately decided against devouring it, citing the reason as being it was too big and would spoil his appetite.

"Is that why Kisame calls you zombie boy?" I asked.

"Who's to say? I eat more than just brains, you know…" he tapered off.

"You're absurd," I said, flushing, knowing it was some sort of come-on from his tone alone.

"Hey, what happened to 'thoughtful'?"

"I feel like that's what I should be asking you."

Neither one of us seemed to want to be the first person to break our hold on each other so we just kind of stayed like that. Me speaking to his shoulder and him to the top of my head.

Considering my hair, I'd say I got the better deal.

"Hidan?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you, really… I love it," I said, daring to let out a content sigh as I looked at the dress from over his shoulder, still clutching it in my hands.

"Don't mention it. Not like I paid for it anyway."

Loosening my hold, I pulled back slowly to look at him with a narrowed gaze. "What do you mean you didn't pay for it… like, as in, you stole it...?"

He shrugged. "Does it matter? Still the same dress you loved like two seconds ago."

I scoffed. "Yes, it matters. Of course it matters! I don't want to wear stolen goods, Hidan."

"Well in that case, I heard Deidara steals all his shit."

"Hidan," I scolded, finally tearing away and pushing to my feet, shoving the dress into his chest. "You can keep it."

"Eh, I don't think it'll fit me. Thanks though." He tried to hand it back. I stepped away and crossed my arms.

"Fucking really?" he asked, annoyed and shooting me an incredulous look like I was being the difficult one.

"Yes, really. Thank you for thinking of me… but also, y'know… you shouldn't be stealing and I don't want to condone that, y'know?!" I may have sounded a bit holier than thou, but I felt like it was reasonable enough.

"Fine," he scoffed, standing up.

"Fine," I agreed.

"It'll just be in my room then. I'll hold on to it just in case… Oh, I know! This'll be my goal dress. Y'know, for when I finally lose all that weight," he mused and I tried very hard not to let my amusement peek through. He must have noticed it because he continued being absurd. "Plus maybe Deidara'll wanna borrow it. You can too if you want, you know where it'll be."

"I have no use for this information, seeing as how I won't be wearing it," I said with some haughtiness.

"Sure," he agreed, a smile underlying his calm facade.

Clearly he was internally betting against me already.

At that point I was plenty ready to head out and see everyone else. For whatever reason, I let Hidan convince me that I didn't need to straighten up my appearance first. He was impatient and apparently my room was boring .

I got the impression he'd been in there a while before I woke up based on the abundance of empty food wrappers in the corner.

He acted as my escort to the common room, swaggering ahead of me and complaining about my pace. Maybe not the best escort but you get what you pay for and he was free. I actively ignored his whining. I may have felt a little off-kilter but I was thankful that he was mostly there for show and I didn't actually need help.

Kisame nearly tipped the entire table over when he jumped up upon seeing me.

"It's alive!" he boomed, sweeping me up into a hug that left my legs dangling a good distance off the floor. I giggled relentlessly as he spun us in a circle.

I had never gotten the cool, spinny hug treatment as a kid so I was going to enjoy it as if I were one, gosh darnit.

"Awesome hair, Iz, you have got to teach me your ways," he said, setting me down and messing it up even more.

"Told you," Hidan chimed in from the couch. "Everyone's gonna want it."

Before I could even give them a sideways look I was being lifted again from behind and spun in another circle.

"Did I miss a memo? Are handshakes and hugs out, is this a new greeting or something?" I shouted through laughs as I was whirled around by I didn't even know who.

"Memo came out yesterday, yeah?" Deidara said, whizzing to a halt, setting me down and turning me to face him. "But if you're oldschool, I can respect that."

He pulled me into him for a more traditional hug, murmuring into my ear, "nice to see you vertical again, Izumi."

I didn't even have time to question if that was somehow sexual.

"I'm missing the hugs again. Why am I always missing the hugs?" I heard Sasori mildly complaining from behind us.

I pulled out of Deidara's grip, though not of my own free will. It was odd, like something was controlling my movements.

I must have looked mighty confused, I was mighty confused, as everyone couldn't stop snickering at me flouncing up to Sasori to give him a huge, over-exaggerated hug complete with not one, not two, but seven awkward pats on the back.

"Wow, Izumi. You've really been working on these," Sasori said, sounding impressed. He had a sly grin on his face as I pulled back enough to see it.

"I'm a puppet right now, aren't I?" I deadpanned.

"And so smart, too," he said, his grin growing. I attempted a searing, chastising look, but who was I kidding, I was happy to see him and admittedly, that was a little funny.

"My apologies but I thought you could use the help after last time," he said.

I gave him a narrow-eyed, pursed-lip look but couldn't say much as he was entirely correct.

"You're rude." I eventually settled on as he allowed me to pull away.

"I really am, you should probably do something about it." A smile lit his otherwise expressionless face and a moment later I found myself slapping him across it.

"Sasori!" I gasped in reaction, totally shocked by my sudden, uncontrollable violent outburst.

"Wow, Izumi. And you said I am the rude one," he tutted with a disappointed look, rubbing his cheek with feigned hurt.

" You made me do that!" I cried. With everyone else cackling at the apparently hilarious scenario, I was having a hard time keeping it together myself.

"Hm. No. That doesn't sound like something I would do. I am a very serious person. You should really work on that temper of yours though..." He released the chakra strings with a small, knowing grin.

"I am glad you seem to be feeling well," he followed up on a genuine note and I pulled him in for a real hug.

"It's good to be back," I murmured.

"Sooo are we gonna talk about this hair?" Deidara butt in from behind, pulling me back and spinning me around to get a good look.

"Not you too..." I groaned, rubbing my eyes. "Fine. Here's the secret. Sleep for two days straight. I think there is likely a bit of drool involved but it truly is that easy."

"Sounds time consuming," Kisame said, displeased with this answer.

I nodded. "Beauty has its price, Kisame," I said with a shrug.

"Hey, speaking of beauty. Hidan, are you playing dress up or something, what's with that, yeah?" Deidara asked, pointing at the dress he had crumpled in his hand.

"Oh, this old thing? I got it for Izumi's birthday but she didn't want it. You interested? I think you guys share a size," he said, laying it over his body which was sprawled out across the couch. It really put into perspective just how big his frame was. The dress looked like something a doll might wear compared to him.

It also provided a very unique visual.

I could tell based on expressions that I wasn't the only one imagining him in it. Sasori in particular looked like he'd just smelled something rotten.

Deidara completely ignored most of Hidan's comment and focused on "Izumi's birthday".

"Birthday? Wait, how the hell would you know that, yeah?" Deidara asked.

A GOOD QUESTION.

"Snagged a peak at her file," Hidan said casually. I gawked at him.

Why was it that when I asked, he couldn't just tell me the apparently very simple truth?! He glanced at me slyly and shrugged.

"Shit," Deidara hissed, "so it's today?! Oh man, I didn't know, I didn't get you anyth-"

"No, no, no!" I corrected quickly, waving my hands and shaking my head. It was cute that he seemed so worried about missing it though.

"It's in a couple days, and it's not a big deal. I don't need anything. Really."

Deidara frowned at this. Kisame frowned at this. Everyone frowned at this.

"Izumi, for a smart girl you're really quite dumb," Sasori tutted.

"Ouch, happy birthday to me I guess," I grumbled.

He smiled softly. "You know we need to do something . What do you want?"

"How about a day without injury? That's probably asking too much though..." I mused

"Yeah, geez, pick something reasonable , Iz." Kisame chided. I scrunched my nose at him.

"Fine. How about a..." I didn't even know what I wanted. I stared at Kisame trying to rack my brain. "... a fish."

"Done." Kisame said.

"A flying fish," I amended with a raised brow.

"Easy."

"A giant flying fish," I pressed.

"Sure."

"You're just saying 'yes' no matter what," I stated the obvious.

"No way. Look at me. I have connections." He said in his cool-guy voice. It was missing the sunglasses though.

I continued to add stipulations until we ended up with a giant, blue polka-dotted, flying fish with a saddle for riding, and yes, a matching pair of triangular-lensed sunglasses.

Kisame assured me this was well within reason. I very much wanted to see him try.

"But just in case it doesn't come in on time…" Deidara said, giving Kisame a pointed look, "maybe pick something a bit more local too, yeah? Something us non-fish people without connections can manage?"

"Fine," I conceded with a pout.

At this point only the fish will do.

"Some new books, maybe...? Is that too much?" I asked hesitantly. Kisame laughed.

"Yeah Izumi, I think books are out of the question. They're just so expensive and hard to find." He said, rolling his eyes.

I didn't appreciate his sarcasm. Not one bit.

"Well I don't know! I've just been through the ones here a few times, even the one in latin. You wouldn't believe the twist ending," I said, followed up with a disbelieving whistle.

"Isn't that just a book on horticulture?" Sasori asked suspiciously.

"Um, I don't want to give spoilers and I don't think I need this type of toxicity in my life," I retorted. He met me with a small smile.

"There's that bookstore over in Jomae Village. It's close, half a day's travel." Kakuzu grumbled from the other room.

He had apparently been just inside the kitchen. I peeked my head in to see him at the table reading the paper, though my smile faltered as I noticed Itachi across from him.

These two would just sit in here silently the whole time.

Just be normal.

What the heck did that even mean? ...I would attempt it though.

"Kakuzu, are you trying to get out of a hug by hiding in here?" I asked quite sternly.

"I'm not hiding." His brows were heavy set and creasing in the middle. It didn't take much to annoy Kakuzu but I was feeling like I could keep going a bit.

"So you do want a hug, then?"

"That's not what I said."

"It's alright, you don't have to say it," I said, walking up and giving him one from behind. With him sitting we were actually around the same height so it made it easier for me to wrap myself around the grumpy, old shinobi's broad shoulders.

"I heard you re-did my bandages while I was out." I said, my chin resting casually on his shoulder. "I appreciate you."

"Were you hoping for a staph infection instead?" He said, brushing off my thanks.

"I've never had one before, are they fun?"

"No."

"Then I suppose 'no' for me as well," I said thoughtfully as I released him and took to fumbling around with his cowl. He tried to shrug me off but I didn't get the sense he was trying too too hard.

"What the hell are you doing now ?" He growled.

"Your hair," I said innocently, setting the cowl in a small, neat fold on the table beside him. He sighed deeply in annoyance as my fingers went deftly to work, combing through his tangled hair and separating it into three sections at the base of his neck.

Kakuzu grumbled but ultimately remained still and seated, continuing to read the paper. We'd been through this before and I was sure he knew at that point it was for his own good.

I could feel Itachi's eyes on me as I did this and I pretended to look at something just past him to sneak a peek.

It almost came as a shock to me when his gaze wasn't filled with ire or vexation, but rather a curiosity, like he was witnessing something impressively unusual. Not dissimilar to how one might watch a lion tamer bringing a monstrous beast to calm.

He continued to watch from the corner of his eye as I ran the braid down Kakuzu's back with a hum.

"So you were saying something about books, Kakuzu?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, that one in Jomae, Izumi would love it," Kisame said with an approving nod, popping in from the other room along with the others.

"Dibs taking her," Deidara piped up.

"Couldn't we… all go?" I asked, chewing my lip. I wasn't sure if that was a reasonable request but it sounded like it could be a fun group trip.

That's a very sneaky way of making sure Itachi is invited…

No. Itachi had no interest in me and I had no interest in getting my heart stomped again. That's right, not a single part of me still wanted to just be near him.

Definitely not.

Okay let's try this one… that's a very sneaky way of making sure Hidan is invited…

Ugh. My brain was impossible.

Deidara seemed grumpy about sharing the limelight but overall people seemed to like the idea of one last hurrah before a lot of them got tied up with some missions that sounded pretty time-consuming.

Kisame assured me he would schmooze Pain to get it approved. And so it was written, official, on the books, and a bunch of other words and phrases that meant we were definitely going to Jomae village for my birthday.

I couldn't stop smiling at the thought.

People eventually began filtering out of the communal area to go train. On his way out, Itachi paused, my heart beat doing the same as his eyes fell down on me.

"I'm… It's good that you're well again," he said quietly with that sullen, charcoal gaze. It flickered to the side briefly like he was second guessing starting a dialogue at all. This was the nicest he'd been to me since the incident without a doubt, and I scolded my heart for instantly fluttering in it's cage.

Stupid girl. He's just being polite. I'm sure you recall it's his default.

My mouth decided before my brain had any input to just speak and ease the tension.

"Thanks, you too." I blurted out.

My face burned .

"You TOO"? WHY?

His head cocked just slightly, an airy look of questioning present in his features.

"I-I mean your eye! I hope your eye is okay!" I quickly followed up as I recalled it had been bleeding and actually an unresolved point of contention between us as he never quite answered to it.

"Ah… so you remember that," he said with a light sigh, "Just a little overuse, I am fine," he assured. The corners of his mouth were just the slightest bit upturned, though in a melancholic way.

"Overuse?" I asked, quirking my head.

"Yes, I… wasn't fond of the subordinate. I'm afraid I went a little overboard. But as I said, all is well. You should be more concerned with yourself."

It was difficult to talk to him without being able to touch him. It was far easier to resist that urge when I felt like he was yelling at me. But in that moment it almost felt like he cared again, same as the Itachi from before.

I thought after getting my heart broken that perhaps I would stop feeling this undeniable force yanking me towards him.

No shot. Reach out and touch that man.

I wanted to do nothing else. He wore an expression that made me want to kiss it away. It had worked before… so why not again?

Because he doesn't want you, remember?

I was getting some seriously mixed signals from both Itachi and my own internal dialogue. Okay, fine, mostly my inner dialogue...

Fine. Go touch Hidan.

Ugh. There was that too. I was in way over my head.

There had been that brief period of time when just the thought of Itachi's touch quite literally repelled me, but only because I knew it would feel too good. And that wasn't fair when I knew it only felt that way for me. But that seemed to crumble the second I pulled even the smallest, albeit crestfallen smile out of him once more.

I allowed my fingers to wring each other out, it was all I could do to just keep them occupied.

"I'm alright now, I think. A little sore, but okay…"

A bit of a delayed response but I was pleased to put one together at all.

"But um, Itachi, I just… I wanted to apologize… for not telling you about the blood. I know I should have done it sooner, I didn't realize things would... happen the way they did. I'm not trying to get you in trouble." I rubbed my arm and looked at the floor.

Glancing back up, the ghost of what barely passed as a smile to begin with had dissolved altogether and I hated it.

"No..." he said, pausing.

I desperately hoped there was more to that sentence. I breathed in relief when he picked up again.

"...I was being… unfair. I hope we can continue to work together without it being… strained. I will be better."

Right. You're just work associates now…

He seemed especially awkward, perhaps because we weren't alone, even though Kakuzu was on the other end of the room and appeared to be actively ignoring us as he read the paper and absently fiddled with the fringe of his braid.

I just stared up at him not knowing what to say. He was being careful with his words in such a way that made it obvious he was struggling.

Why, though?

Because he was feigning niceties and he was awful at lying? Had Kisame put him up to this? Maybe Pain did. He had mentioned needing to be able to work together.

Ever the professional.

Itachi's face was placid of course but the cracks showed a roiling undulation beneath. I had the urge to hug him too, him being the only person I'd seen that day that I hadn't. I resisted though.

He was making an effort to make things not weird between us and I would meet him with the same, no more, no less.

"A-alright," was all I managed to get out.

He nodded and passed by me, leaving just Kakuzu and me left. He looked very dapper in his braid.

"Didn't like the dress?" He eventually asked, not even looking up from the paper. He, like Kisame, was a coffee drinker, and he took a sip.

"What? No, of course I did. But I'm not trying to encourage theft, you know." I said with an eye roll.

"...Theft?"

"Yes. You know, when you take something without paying for it?" I explained, knowing full well that Kakuzu already understood the definition. I just didn't know what he was getting at.

"Watch it," he grumbled, denouncing my sarcasm.

"Sorry…" I said quietly with a peaking smile.

He was digging through his cloak. A moment later his hand clapped against the table and when he removed it, there was a small piece of paper beneath. A receipt for one dress. Not a cheap one either.

"He said he didn't pay for it," I said, confused as I analyzed the slip.

"He didn't," Kakuzu said, leaving me to draw the conclusion that he had.

"Aww Kaku-"

"Shut up." He ordered quickly as soon as I began to fawn over him.

"You're such a secret softie," I hummed, hanging off his shoulders once more. "Thank you."

"And you're about to see how secretly soft your voice box is when I remove it," he threatened callously before licking his finger and turning the page.

Nice. Points for creativity.

"See? A couple months ago you would have threatened to outright kill me." I pointed out. "Not to mention you might have actually done it. Progress," I said with a smile, giving a final squeeze and breaking off.

And to think only a short while ago I was such an inexperienced hugger. It had quickly become one of my favorite things, much to Kakuzu's chagrin.

He seemed to live through it just fine.

"It was Hidan's idea, I only paid for it," he said in a delayed attempt to dismiss my scandalous accussasion, but I knew what money meant to him which still made it quite the gesture.

"Okay fine. You're cold and heartless." I placated him.

He grunted in response.

I took the rest of that afternoon and evening to rest up so I would be ready for what needed to happen the next day. It would require all my energy.

The following morning had me in full on chores mode .

The guys were basically children and no one had bothered to clean up after themselves during my time "away", and I wanted to be perfectly prepared for this birthday outing.

That meant coming back to a nice clean house and having everyone's laundry all set before we left. During my thrilling mission to collect everyone's laundry, I was relieved to find Hidan was not in his room. The dress lay neatly folded atop his dresser, as if calling out to me.

Try me. Try meeee.

Maybe I had been a little harsh… even if he had stolen it, which he didn't, at least he was thinking of me? That was a slippery slope I decided to stop contemplating.

So you want him to be thinking of you, eh?

I blushed at the thought and shook my head, dismissing it. I snatched up the dress and moved to the door, shutting it quickly. As long as he didn't come in within the next minute or so, I could throw it on.

I figured I should at least see if it fit, right?

It was kind of exciting. I had never owned anything pretty in my life. It was always over-sized hand-me-downs growing up and even with the Akatsuki, it was plain clothes and cloaks.

I fumbled out of Deidara's clothes and any wrappings and began to pull on the dress as quickly as possible. That's when I heard that dreaded noise—the toilet flush. Hidan was in here, he was just in the bathroom.

Oh god. If he didn't wash his hands, he'd be in the room in mere seconds, and I didn't put it past him to not wash his hands.

Please be more hygienic than we give you credit for, Hidan.

Suddenly the dress became some sort of impossible freaking puzzle to solve.

"Shouldn't this be easier?" I hissed under my breath as I took stock of things, the dress only halfway on at that point. It didn't seem right.

The straps, why were there 4? I could have sworn there were only 2 on the hanger. And what was this, a second thinner dress sewn into the main dress? And why on freaking earth was it all bunched up?! The buttons weren't really buttons either, turns out they were clasps. And wasn't there a drawstring somewhere?

Oh dear lord.

The door clicked open and Hidan was there, stopped in his tracks staring with his mouth slightly ajar at the disaster before him.

Of note, he did not wash his hands.

Notes:

Hello lovelies 3 early update because I planned on two chapters this Sunday, so I thought why not spread them out since this one is mostly just transitional, very dialogue heavy.

I have got to say... you guys crack me tf up with your thirsty ass comments LMAO. Also, some very interesting requests and predictions XD I love it.

At this point Izumi is clearly not over Itachi but also realizing Hidan might actually have genuine feelings for her... and maybe she has some for him. It's all very confusing for the poor girl. We will see how she fares soon... :3

Chapter 34: The Dress*

Notes:

CW: Long as fuck and sexuall t

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Don't look!" I shrieked, pulling the half-worn dress against me as much as I could to cover myself.

"In case you hadn't noticed, you're in my fucking room!" he bellowed back incredulously.

"Fair, but in my defense, I didn't think you were in here," I whined and looked exasperated between him and the dress.

Now this put a highly amused look on his face.

"Ah yes, my own fucking room, pretty odd place for me to wind up. You'll have to excuse me." He feigned apologetically as he crossed his arms over his bare chest and leaned coolly against the bathroom doorframe.

I huffed. "Can we go back to the part where you don't look?"

He ignored my question. "You know, if you'd just ask. Maybe, just maybe , I'd help." He said, cocking his head arrogantly.

He'd gotten to use that line on me once before and oh, was he getting joy out of it again.

I glared at him, looked back down at my predicament, then back to him. I offered a defeated look and a whine.

You got a white flag? No? You could try waving that dress around.

"Close enough," he let out a low chuckle as he pushed off the doorframe and approached.

"Turn around," he said, his hands moving across my shoulders and turning me away from him. I'm not entirely sure what he was doing to fix the mess I had made but he seemed proficient at it.

Fingers hooking into straps and pulling them into the right place, latching clasps, tying ties. The whole nine yards.

"So you changed your mind about wearing this, huh?" He asked with a certain air of satisfaction as he fastened some tassels in back, his fingers brushing up and lingering against the bare skin of my spine in the process.

I wanted to turn around and shoot him a snarky look, call him out on lying about the dress not being stolen. But I didn't dare turn around, I could feel the heat of my own face and I was sure it was at least 20 shades of pink.

"Well I thought I could at least try it on… didn't realize women's clothes could be so complicated..." I muttered. I decided to let him have this one for now.

"You say that like you've never worn a dress," he noted with a snort.

"Just the once," I replied quietly, thinking back to my time at Gorzo's mansion.

At that very moment, I felt Hidan's hands slide beneath the dress from the bottom and travel up along my thighs. His fingers found the hem of the bunched-up slip and he pulled it down with a slight tug.

My mind flashed with images of that man, Gorzo.

I could practically feel his hands on me again, pressing against my flesh, rising up my skirt, holding me in place, tearing at my underwear. His weight against me from behind, feeling him from behind… feeling helpless beneath him.

My heart seemed to beat with a shockwave that pulsed through my entire body. I was dizzy. My face went numb and I suddenly felt like I couldn't catch my breath.

"Almost done," Hidan said, seemingly unaware of the chaos existing only in my head. His hands had since traveled to the straps one last time to adjust them properly, but I still felt Gorzo grabbing at my thighs.

What was wrong with me?

Why couldn't I breathe? My fingers had also begun to go numb and I could feel them trembling against my will.

"Done. Let's see then." Hidan announced and stepped back.

I could still hear the amusement in his voice. I had been amused only moments ago too but now I felt like I was spiraling out of control. I couldn't seem to move at all.

"Oi, earth to Izumi. That means turn the fuck around," he jeered impatiently. When he grabbed my shoulders to spin me around, my body flinched away involuntarily. I knew it was Hidan but I couldn't stop feeling him.

"The hell's your problem?" He asked with sudden annoyance. Turning me around with more force so that I actually faced him.

I don't know what my face held when he looked at it but I had never seen so much confusion on his. His amethyst eyes were intense and flickered over my form with knitted eyebrows.

My trembling hands, my absolutely pale face which only moments ago held more color than I ever wanted, my chest rising and falling quickly as if I had just run a mile. He noticed all of it.

"For the love of Jashin, what did I do now?" He threw his hands in the air in frustration.

I was so embarrassed. I had no good explanation. I just shook my head, tears forming at the corners of my eyes and overflowing quickly down my cheeks which only embarrassed me more.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what's happening," I managed to eke out as I brought my hands up, staring at them hard, willing them to stop shaking and for the numbness to recede. I rubbed my face frantically, wondering why I couldn't feel my own touch.

Hidan's eyes didn't move from my form, though his frustration seemed to recede.

"Is it Orochimaru? That blood shit?" he asked, grabbing my wrists to examine me.

Again, I saw Hidan touching me. I knew it was just him logically, but I saw Gorzo flash in my mind again. A surprised gasp flew from my mouth and I tore my wrists back and held myself by the shoulders.

"Hey," Hidan bent down to look me in the eye. I must have been seeing things because his expression seemed to soften, on anyone else I would call it concern.

I met his gaze and recalled his question. I shook my head.

"No… it's him, I don't know why I'm remembering him right now," I said through a sob.

I hated the way I sounded. Why was I always in distress? Orochimaru was one thing but this… shouldn't I have more control over this?

"Him?" Hidan questioned, straightening up.

"That guy... from the mansion," I said, my voice tight as it squeezed through my throat, straining to get through a sentence without sobbing.

Hidan looked truly confused which made me feel even more guilty. He was actually being nice and this is what he got in return? An emotional mess to deal with?

"Hey, look at me," He said, noticing my darting eyes averting his own. He tucked a finger under my chin and forced me to meet his gaze. He bent down to my eye level again.

"You're having an anxiety attack. They fucking suck but I promise you will be okay. Let's get your breathing under control, alright?" He was calm. Weirdly calm.

Are you sure this is the same Hidan we know?

I watched as he climbed onto the bed, shuffling the pillows about so he could sit upright against the headboard. His legs extended and spread out in front of him.

"Come on," he said, patting the space between his legs. I wasn't sure what was happening but I wanted to trust him. I needed this feeling of impending doom to take it's leave.

"I can't feel my fingers. I can't feel my face," I expressed in a panic, rubbing my forehead and twisting my fingers about in an attempt to force more blood into them.

"I know, I know. Come on," He reiterated, holding his hand out. I put my much smaller hand in his and he pulled me onto the bed, situating me to sit in the space between his legs, mine splayed out against his and my back against his chest.

"There we go. Not so bad, right? Can you feel me breathing?" He asked before taking an exaggerated breath.

I nodded, trying to muster the same level of calm he had in that moment. I could feel his chest rise and fall beneath me.

"We're going to breathe in deep, hold, and then let out." He directed.

Again, I nodded. I couldn't find the words to express how stupid I felt or how grateful I was that Hidan was actually helping me through this.

I sucked in as much air as I could and held it, shakily letting it out when I felt Hidan decompress beneath me. Much of my back and shoulders were exposed. Pressed against his bare chest, I could feel his immense warmth radiating through me.

"Good. We're just gonna keep doing this," he said, his hands travelling up to hold onto the sides of my shoulders. Where I could only see and feel Gorzo before, I finally felt some comfort. He grasped onto them gently, moving up and down slowly in an attempt to warm me up maybe.

I focused on my breathing and didn't even tell myself it was wrong to revel in the comfort of his hold. I'd been so overwhelmed by my previously dormant feelings toward Hidan and my still lingering ones for Itachi and I just didn't have the emotional bandwidth to deny myself this pleasure.

I closed my eyes and let myself sink into him. The tears stopped and my breathing became more natural over time. Hidan felt so warm beneath me that I eventually found myself drifting off.

"You're not falling asleep on me again, are you?" Hidan's voice was playful, he was trying to keep things light. I appreciated him.

"Well, not anymore," I retorted, my voice still a bit quiet, though thankfully it had lost the tremor.

"Hey, there she is," Hidan joked, squeezing my shoulders slightly. "I mean, you could and I wouldn't hate it. I did recently take a leak so I guess I won't have to get up for a while."

I laughed lightly through a relieved exhale. It seemed the worst was over and Hidan didn't hate me for it somehow. I still did though.

"What if you have to poop?" I asked thoughtfully.

Valid question.

"Then I'd really be nice and toasty," he said as he wiggled his butt deeper into the bed.

I snorted. "You're disgusting."

"Don't fuck it til you try it," he said.

"That's… not how the phrase goes. That doesn't even make sense."

"My bad. Don't try it til you fuck it, right?"

"I need you to stop."

"Say that again without the last two words," he said with an audible smirk.

"Hidan…" I scolded half-heartedly.

"Izumi…" he parroted me.

I sighed. Not in a bad way either. The luxury of being able to sigh was nice, it meant my breathing was alright. So much so that I could afford to let out a big one.

"Hey, Hidan?" I asked quietly.

"Hm? What's up?"

"How… how did you know about all that stuff?"

"What stuff?" He questioned.

"The anxiety attack and the breathing stuff."

At this he let out a chuckle before answering matter-of-factly, "Just because I'm a fucking monster now doesn't mean I was never human. I do remember a few things."

His answer surprised me into silence. There really was more to him than I gave him credit for. He had been terrible to me in the past, yes.

He called me "bitch" for weeks before he ever called me by name. But I was beginning to see another side that made me wonder if he was just broken like the rest of us and dealing with it in his own way. Granted, his way was very unique.

He broke the silence after a while. "Sooo… you wanna tell me about it?"

"What?" I asked bewildered.

"Sweetheart, people don't just have anxiety attacks over nothing ."

Psh… bet you could prove him wrong one of these days.

"Oh, that..." I realized what he meant. He stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.

I clicked my tongue, about to launch into it but found my breath caught in my throat. I had swept it under the rug and sat on it for so long that I didn't even know how to begin.

"I-I'm sorry, it's hard to talk about for some reason. It's… embarrassing somehow, this whole thing." I gestured to us in general and the room before letting my hands fall back down and fidgeting with the hem of my dress. "I don't know where to start."

"So I walked into that fucking mansion… " Hidan did a wretched impression of me and began the story, trailing off expectantly.

"Right," I rolled my eyes at the impression and breathed in. "So I walked in and somehow managed to get picked…"

"Yeah, somehow," Hidan interjected with an incredulous snort.

"... anyway … I knew you guys were supposed to be outside so I kept trying to get him to bring me to the garden."

So far so good.

"Mhmm," Hidan affirmed, encouraging me to continue, his hands moving from holding my arms to draping across my collar from behind in a sort of limp but comforting hug. My heart nearly skipped a beat and I froze, finding myself thinking about the feeling of his broad arms weighing down on me instead of talking.

"Oh, my bad," he said as if he didn't realize what he'd done. He began to pull his arms away. My hands quickly reached up to keep his in place.

"No, I, um… I like it," I confessed, my little fingers curling around his thick forearms and my chin resting on top of them. He didn't protest. I imagined the sly little smile adorning his face.

"Mm. Anyway," he said.

" Anyway ," I continued, trying to push past my awkwardness. "So he started just kind of… well, he was strong… much stronger than me, anyhow. And then he was kissing me, my neck and he... well I knew I wouldn't be able to convince him to leave with me, not before he... um, well you know."

Wildly descriptive. A+. Have you considered a career in writing?

Hidan shifted slightly beneath me and I felt his forearms tighten. I'm not sure he even realized he was doing it but he seemed agitated.

"Mhm," he said again, a noise I think was meant to prompt me further, though it sounded oddly controlled, like it was pushed through a clenched jaw.

I did go on, though.

"I really did want to complete the job for you guys, like… a lot, but I had never um…" I shook my head, frustrated with myself that I couldn't find the right words, "...what he wanted from me, I had never done that before. I was just… scared, I think. And he was just so much stronger… you know? And I know you would have stopped him easily if you were there, but it was just me."

I felt a slight pressure against the side of my head and I allowed it to tilt with a close of my eyes, Hidan's lips pressing into my hair. I could hear the inhale and exhale through his nose as he stayed there. His arms wrapping just a little tighter.

It caught me off guard, a remarkably sweet gesture from the brashest man I knew. It felt like he was saying sorry with it, that it was okay now.

"Go on," he whispered against my hair.

I swallowed and pushed down the butterflies.

"It was so bizarre, he... almost seemed to like that I was scared? I was so stupid… and his blankets were so freaking slippery. I mean, in what world would crawling across silk sheets work against someone who just needs to grab my ankle?" I laughed, the humor of it dulling the memory a bit. "So as you might imagine, he pulled me back against him…pretty uh, pretty easily."

I had to pause. Hidan said nothing, I couldn't even feel him breathing anymore. I took a deep breath.

"and he was just so much stronger, um, like I said. So he um… well that was when he pulled off my… um... "

"Fuck. God fucking damnit, Izumi," the sheer volume of his voice in the otherwise quiet room combined with his frustration startled me. Hidan's hands pulled out of my weak grip and flew to his temples, rubbing them as if he had a headache.

I quickly maneuvered around to look at him, absolutely bewildered.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked wide-eyed.

"I fucking… UGH, I fucking knew it. I fucked it up. I reminded you of him just then, didn't I?"

I stared at him like a deer in headlights. He continued on in a rage.

"That fucking… did he...? ...What did he do to you?"

I swallowed hard, shaking my head. I knew what he was asking.

"Nothing you don't already know about. I stopped him before it got too far."

He breathed a sigh of relief but it was still riddled with disgust. "But he would have. You literally had to fucking kill him to stop it from happening. And then here I am, putting my fucking hands on you and reminding you of him."

I was shocked to see him like this. It was almost like he was only talking to himself and I was just witnessing it.

"Are you... mad at me?" I asked hesitantly.

He gawked at me incredulously. "You?! Don't be fucking stupid, why the fuck would I be mad at you ?"

I looked around frantically like I might find an answer somewhere else. "I don't know, you just seem so upset after I told you what happened."

"Oh, for fuck's sake Izumi. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

I had no answer, I just shrunk into myself staring back at him. Why was he so mad? It seemed like he basically knew all of this before I even said it.

"I mean look at you, even now you're fucking scared of me," he threw his arms in the air in defeat and laughed without humor.

"I'm n-" I tried to get a word in edgewise. I suppose I did manage precisely one.

"I fucking let that happen back then and I'm apparently still fucking making you relive it. No fucking wonder I couldn't fucking compete with him."

Couldn't compete with him…? What was he even talking about?

Hidan continued ranting through my dumbfounded silence.

"So that's just it, huh? I'll never be able to fucking touch you without you thinking of that," he said bluntly with realization, staring up at the ceiling while tapping the back of his skull against the wall repeatedly, fingers linked together atop his hair.

It replayed in my head like an echo.

I'll never be able to fucking touch you without you thinking of that...

I wasn't imagining he said that, right? Because if not, that would mean he wanted to be able to touch me in some form or another and for once he wasn't coming on to me in a joking manner.

That was more than enough to renew the hammering of my heart.

"Hidan…" I looked at him, my brows meeting at the worry lines.

He didn't make a move or even look at me.

"Hidan," I said more forcefully, positioning myself even closer to him. I sat on my knees between his legs, my arms outstretched and holding myself up on his wide shoulders, my face a foot from his as I tried to grab his attention.

"Hm?" He grunted, tearing his eyes from the ceiling to meet mine. Hands still locked on top of his head.

What are you doing?

I searched his face for some hint of what I could do, but he only gazed back at me with a frustrated, defeated expression.

What are you doing?

I shook my head. I shook it at everything he had been saying. I didn't know how to put into words that he was wrong. I was too flabbergasted in finding out that he cared to this extent. I knew he was a flirt and potentially wanted to partake in certain… activities with me. But that was all physical.

His reaction to my distress, I couldn't help but wonder at the breadth of his feelings towards me. It was true that every single member of the Akatsuki was tragic in some way, and it was painfully obvious in that moment that Hidan had more demons than he let on.

He was able to help me through my trauma but seemingly incapable of processing his own.

What are you doing?

"Hidan…" I said softly, begging him to get out of his own way and just listen to me.

My hands moved from his shoulders to the sides of his neck, the tips of my fingers combing into the edges of his hair. His expression became even more pained before he shut his eyes entirely.

"The fuck are you doing?" he asked the same question I'd been asking myself. "I don't need you to try and comfort me. I'm the one that fucked u-"

I cut him off, my lips pressing against his abruptly.

He didn't fight it, he didn't even move. My stomach flipped and nearly entered my throat as I held him there for seconds before I broke away, breathing heavily, eyes wide.

What did you do?

His eyes were as wide as mine. We sat in silence just staring at each other, processing what had happened.

"I-I'm so sorry," I suddenly stuttered out, shaking my head and covering my face with my hands, feeling the heat of my cheeks emanating through my palms.

Look at Hidan. Just look at him. Why on earth would a guy like that have any interest in a girl like you?

He's just feeling confused.

Remember what happened with Itachi?

My alter was practically begging me to stand down but there was no time to heed the warning.

His large hands wrapped around my wrists, pulling them away from my reddened face. I fought against him which was beyond useless. Opening my eyes, I was immediately met with his expansive pupils that left only a thin ring of color at the edge of his violet irises.

He did not blink, he only flickered his gaze between my own and my lips.

Much to my embarrassment, as he did this, the breath audibly hitched in my throat as I felt something needy stir within me, some affection I'd held for the man but kept out of reach in a far corner like it was an animal I was afraid to let out of it's cage for fear of not knowing what it would do.

Not knowing if it would hurt me.

That was all he required. His brow knitted together and arched up in an expression that told me he had that same need within him. His grip became tighter on my wrists and his mouth overtook mine in an instant.

I gasped at the feeling of his lips moving against my own. It was nothing like my previous, admittedly minimal experience. He didn't have much of a gentleness to him, if any at all.

No, he was all raw force and possessiveness and he absolutely dominated my mouth in a way that left me feeling like I was caught in his current and all I could do was trust that he would keep me afloat wherever he was sweeping me off to.

It wasn't feverish though, not at first. He was confident and purposeful in his force.

He loosened his grip on my wrists, allowing my body to lean against his as his hands found their way into my hair. He held me steady as he continued to kiss me in a passionate display of power.

"Hidan" I exhaled his name, my breath coming out in uncontrollable waves.

A low groan escaped him upon hearing his name. He pressed his mouth against mine even more hungrily and I met him with the same appetite.

My head swam with this overpowering feeling of yearning, a warm pit growing and growing inside my core. It seemed to tell my body exactly what to do and how to move on it's own.

I just needed to be closer to him. My legs edged forward and positioned themselves on both sides of him.

"Fuck…" He whispered through his teeth as I straddled him, breaking away from the kiss with a ragged breath. He tightened his grip on my hips, pulling me down against him.

My half-lidded eyes grew in surprise, feeling something hot and hard pressing against my most sensitive area. I almost cried out at the sensation but I muffled myself, burying my face into the crook of his shoulder. This only made him squeeze my hips harder and loose another expletive in a drawn out growl.

Everything was happening so fast.

I wondered if it was what I wanted while simultaneously thinking I would explode if I couldn't have it. He pulled me down against him once more, this time thrusting his pelvis upward to grind against me.

I couldn't help but let out a small cry before biting into his shoulder to mute myself, drawing out another low growl from Hidan.

I was still so new to these sensations, my body seemed like it was doing all it could to take them in stride, the overflow pouring from me in a series of puffing gasps.

What if you sleep with him...

Feeling him pushing against my entrance, even through our clothes, sent uncontrollable tremors through my legs and I felt like at that point I was just holding onto him for dear life.

And it turns out like Itachi all over again?

I didn't think I could handle something like that again.

"Izumi…" The way in which my name tipped off his tongue had me sighing.

My legs continued to quiver and shake. I wished they wouldn't do that.

"Izumi… sweetheart… hey..."

I couldn't seem to respond through my breaths. I was trying to focus on making my legs stop doing that.

He moved his hands up to my shoulders and began to push me off him. I didn't want him to see my face, I didn't know what it looked like. I felt totally out of control. Even though he could easily overpower me, he didn't force me back.

"You're fucking shaking," his voice was deep and gravely through his heavy panting. My entire body hitched as I felt him roll against me once more.

"I-I'm sorry," I admitted, feeling embarrassed once again by my body's reactions.

"No… that's not what I mean. If I'm being completely honest, it's a huge fucking turn on but…" he sighed, "but I… fuck… are you okay?" He whispered as he pushed me back once more, that time I let it happen.

He took one hand to brush the hair from my eyes, leveling our sights with a downward tilt of his head.

"I… I'm not sure," I admitted through my panting breath, feeling completely flustered and abashed.

"Did I fuck up again?"

I shook my head vigorously. I didn't want him to think he did anything wrong, but there was no way I could tell him the truth. Instead I opted for burying my face in his shoulder.

Nah, you're fine, just thinking about how Itachi screwed me and decided I wasn't good enough. Thinking you might do the same. I dunno.

Yeah, no. I didn't need to freak him out with that level of crazy up front.

"Talk to me, sweetheart. Fuck me up with the truth. Was it him again?" He asked into the top of my head. His arms were heavy around my back and shoulders. I knew he was talking about Gorzo.

I liked how safe I felt against his chest. Safe enough to say something at least.

"No, it's not that… I'm sorry, I feel so dumb. I think it's just...a lot for me all at once."

I wasn't technically lying.

I could feel the sigh across the top of my head.

"Fuckin... I can't believe I'm fucking saying this…" He muttered with a pained voice.

I waited on edge for whatever he was going to say.

"Stop, we should… fuck…"

He paused for a second.

"Fuck, that's not right," he mumbled before trying again.

"I mean... fuck , we should stop ." He sighed again with exasperation. "God that was harder to say than it should have been..." he muttered to himself.

My stomach dropped. I pulled back to look at him. I knew why I didn't want to continue, but what reason could he have? He was so into it only a moment ago.

So it was Itachi all over again, except he didn't even want me to begin with.

Maybe it was better that way though...

"Is... there something wrong with me?" I asked weakly, looking away and feeling like an absolute idiot.

"God, Izumi, no. No, fucking no. That's so not it. Hey, fucking look at me," he grabbed my chin roughly and held my face inches from his. "I want you, okay? Really fucking bad and that's putting it lightly. You can literally fucking feel how bad I want you."

I really could. It was… a lot.

Hidan tilted his head back against the wall and cursed himself once more.

"I just… only ten minutes ago you were crying over that fucking fuckboy. I don't want him to be anywhere close to your thoughts when we fuck."

Interesting use of 'when' over 'if'.

I cringed at his crassness. He didn't seem to notice or at the very least, it didn't hinder him.

"Plus you're all shy and shit, so let's just…" he paused with a rumbling, straining noise caught in his throat, truly in disbelief of the words coming out of his own mouth, "...take a fucking beat and fucking relax about the whole thing, alright?"

I smiled weakly at him and nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to relax as he suggested. I sank down a bit on the exhale and froze with gasp.

Hidan let out a noise that vaguely sounded like " hyngggg " as I accidentally pressed against the still very erect bulge beneath me.

"I-I'm really sorry… did I hurt you?" I stammered nervously.

"Hurt?!" He laughed incredulously. "No, but fuck if you're not making this the most difficult decision of my life." He groaned.

"I need a cold shower" he said, his brows knitted as he pinched the bridge of his nose and I tried not to think about Itachi.

"And before you ask... no, sweetheart, you can't join me… but you can watch," he added with a wink.

His hands slid back down to my hips so he could carefully remove me from his lap, cursing to himself the entire time. He set me aside and stood up, looking back down at me once more.

I tried to make eye contact but I was completely distracted by the erection that was painfully noticeable through his black pants. He noticed me looking and grinned.

"Like what you see?" he asked, standing to the side, hands on his hips as he leaned back in a way that thrust them forward.

It was truly amazing how he managed to jump between sweet and vulgar in an instant.

I went beat red and immediately snapped my eyes away muttering another apology.

He just laughed and leaned back in for another kiss, lingering on my lips before planting one on my jaw, then one on my neck. Another on the neck. I found my head lolling to the side to give him more access, a barely audible moan escaping my lips.

I felt his own lips pause before smiling against my neck.

"Goddamn…" He muttered before breaking away to look down at me, biting his lip like he was imagining a thousand different things he'd like to do with me. I leveled his gaze with my own, all big eyes and chewing my lip as well, a question behind it that I wasn't sure if I should vocalize.

"What's up?" He asked, the question apparently visible in my expression to even him.

"I…um, well… were you serious?" I asked with a nervous pause. He cocked his head to the side, clearly needing a bit more.

God, he was going to make me say it.

"When you said… I could watch?" My fingers absently set to picking at my nails as I awaited his response.

Um, where did you find that audacity and where can we get more?

I expected an arrogant smirk. An "I knew it, you are a pervert" kind of satisfaction to his countenance. But that wasn't it.

His lips parted just slightly with a sort of disbelieving breath, irises darkening beneath his furrowing brow. He was staring at me very seriously, perhaps trying to figure out if I was the one joking around. But I clearly wasn't.

I couldn't help but notice the twitching movement in his pants, the thought of me watching him pleasure himself was apparently something very exciting to him.

"I wasn't," he said, causing my face to burn with embarrassment before he had a chance to follow up, "but I am now."

He stepped toward me, arm extended. I took his hand and he pulled me off the bed to my feet. He had to bend down quite a bit to plant another kiss atop my head. In keeping his massive hand around mine, I trailed behind him into the bathroom where he immediately set to turning on the showerhead.

The hot torrent quickly filled the room with steam. I stood watching him test the temperature, not really sure what to do with myself and wondering if this was a curiosity I really needed to sate after all.

When he turned back to me though, the look in eyes as he appraised my diminutive form compared to his own, I knew it was something I very much wanted to witness.

"God, that dress is sexy on you, sweetheart," he muttered, his eyes lingering on me before glancing over to the countertop.

"Yep, that'll fucking do," he said to himself, his hands suddenly on me, lifting me from under my thighs to sit atop the counter, carelessly knocking a few things over.

I went to pick them up.

"Leave it. I don't care about that right now."

I swallowed and nodded.

He stepped back and surveyed me, gears turning behind those hungry eyes. I allowed my gaze to travel downwards and made note that nothing had changed at his waist.

He remained equally excited, if not more.

Closing in on me again, apparently coming to some sort of decision, he tousled his fingers through my hair to leave it disheveled. Hooking a finger in the thin dress strap, he tugged it down so it fell off my shoulder. Hands on the inside of my thighs, he pulled them apart.

He was posing me, I realized. Prepping me to look a certain way.

Was he intending on just looking at me while he…?

I found myself breathing heavily as I watched him. His eyes ravaged across me as he tugged the dress down so my modest breasts became that much less modest.

"Fuck… fuck, I want to fuck you," he whispered as he stepped back to regard me once more.

I swallowed at his shameless admission. I did more than that, I absolutely reveled in it.

It was so foreign to me… to be the object of anyone's lust, and yet it seemed to be happening so much lately. I felt wrong for liking it as much as I did... but I couldn't deny it.

In a quick motion he was upon me once more. He captured my jaw in his left hand and bore down on my lips with his own and just like that, we were kissing again.

It wasn't my plan, I wasn't even sure it was his. He wasn't really one for calculation or plans, a bold departure from my only previous experience.

He was immediately wrenching my mouth open with his tongue and as he powered his against mine, his hand released the tight grip on my jaw, sliding down, fingers moving to curl and wrap around my throat.

"Ahhm…" It was like he had squeezed the soft, wanting noise out of me.

I didn't have a chance of holding it in.

It surprised me as much as it did him when it puffed out of me. When I expected him to pause, pull back and smirk at the victory he'd pulled from my lips, cocky in the lewdness he managed to produce within me, he did not.

Not exactly anyway.

He did withdraw to look at me, but kept his face close. Those amethyst eyes of his, so very darkened and intense, flitting across my face like he was checking for something.

"You like this, sweetheart?" he asked, letting his fingers relax, adjust and flex to hold my neck firmly once more.

I had been asking myself the same thing, or rather why I liked it so much when it felt so dangerous. I knew it was dangerous as it had actually happened to me before.

But this was different... It was controlled… and it was Hidan.

I was beginning to realize I quite liked to be controlled. At least in this capacity.

Seems potentially problematic. Let's ignore that, shall we?

Indeed.

I was sheepish in my eventual response but I managed a quiet, almost shameful "yes".

"Mmm… yeah, I can tell you do," he said with a tilt of his head.

"Just look at this face…" His thumb pressed up against the corner of my jaw, angling my face to the other side. He seemed to be taking me in from every perspective.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed by," he said, still examining me, my admission clearly an uncomfortable one. He gave a small squeeze on my neck. My breath hitched and the pressure spiked between my legs.

If you say so. That settles that, then.

I was quick to want to accept this as a fact.

His eyes lulled as he moved in for another kiss. His lips pressed against mine and I couldn't help but notice this one was different. He would always be dominant, I suspected, but even so it was softer somehow.

It contrasted so strangely with his fingers pressing into the sides of my throat. His lips moved against mine slowly and his tongue did not force its way in. It slid across my bottom lip, asking for entry.

I'll allow it.

Somehow even this gesture carried his insane confidence. Asking was clearly only a formality. I happily parted my lips accompanied by a soft sigh. He returned one of his own, albeit deep and guttural.

It was a long, languid kiss and I was not ready for it to be over when Hidan eventually broke it.

His hand firm against my throat continued to build a heat within me.

He locked his gaze with mine once more. I could tell there was something on his mind.

"You feel me, you know it's me." His voice was breathy and whispered.

I was confused for a second but quickly realized it was a question, not a statement.

He wanted to make sure it was him I was feeling, not anyone else. Not anyone that would hurt me. That's why he kissed me like that. So I would know.

So I couldn't possibly get it confused.

Now he was the one needing assurance and it was overwhelmingly endearing.

My face went soft as I stared back at him, so taken aback by the realization that maybe he cared much more than I thought he could.

"I only feel you. Just you," I assured him, low and whispered, bringing my hands to rest atop his forearm with a squeeze.

His eyes darkened further, those light silvery lashes somehow managing to cast a shadow over them as his lids fell once more. His lips were on me again, it was like he couldn't stop.

Nor was I asking him to.

His mouth's dominance grew as he groaned his approval into me. Teeth biting at my lip, eliciting a noise that tethered shock and pain into one, before sucking on that spot and I briefly wondered if he'd broken skin.

But I didn't have time to linger on such things because his tongue was pressed against mine once more with another deep groan. If that other kiss was for me, then this one was certainly for him. I tried my best to respond in kind.

I liked it. I really did. I more than liked it.

I was just a little thrown by the intensity. It was like he was kissing me with a strength to make up for lost time and it was all I could do to try to keep up, my returned affections peppered with a litany of small, helpless noises that seemed to spur him on more.

He became almost greedy in his kissing, like he wanted to take all he could get because he knew it was all I had to offer at the moment. I was only too keen to let him have it.

His fingers tightened dangerously around my neck for a moment and I broke the kiss with a strained gasp.

My lungs begged for a deep breath but the rest of my body begged for something different.

Izumi, don't you dare rush this.

I didn't necessarily feel like I was the one rushing it. It was just hard not to get swept up in his current.

"Hidan," I whined, my hands pulling at his. He withdrew, bringing his lips to my ear.

"Not gonna hurt you…" he said lowly, obliging by loosening his grip just enough. "...Just like to feel your blood pulsing."

It was an odd thing to say. An even odder thing to hear. But... it didn't bother me.

His teeth found the shell of my ear and scraped down it's length, coming to bite down on the lobe. I could feel him smirk as he drew a surprised gasp from me.

I hadn't noticed before, but without the distraction of his mouth against mine, the hurried sounds of Hidan grabbing and stroking himself took center stage.

I couldn't move my head, my eyes alone shifted to regard his lower half.

He'd apparently managed to pull his pants off with one hand during all of that and I was immediately greeted with the sight of Hidan fully nude in all of his glory, pleasuring himself as he stared at me intently, his fingers tight on my throat.

It made me lose my breath for a moment, jaw falling slack as I shamelessly stared.

His breathing was as labored as mine and when I let out a sighing whimper at the overwhelming sight of him, his jaw clenched and unclenched, a groan pushing through gritted teeth.

"Fuck… you're just here to watch," he reminded himself aloud as he suddenly released the hold on my neck and stepped back to really look at me. He shook his head like he couldn't believe he was actually going to continue backing away from me, but he did.

Continuing back, stepping into the shower, he continued to work himself, slow and methodical.

"I'm gonna stay in here... and you're gonna stay out there," he assured, his chest puffing out with heavy breaths and I found myself losing the ability to blink.

"But sweetheart… just so you know, I don't need to touch you to make you fucking come."

I wasn't even entirely sure what to make of that, but the confidence in which he said it sent goosebumps to raise like braille across my skin.

Yes, and if we read it, it says "prove it".

He did not shut the sliding shower door, he just stood there letting the water hit him, sending steaming rivulets across his body, trailing down his pale skin over the curve of each muscle.

It was mesmerizing, the sight of him.

The way he gazed at me almost dangerously, his hand pumping himself, mouth going from hanging, to teeth biting hard into his lip, back to lips parted as he stared at me in some distant way. Like he was seeing me there of course, but also imagining me doing much more than just sitting atop the counter.

I clenched my thighs together in a squirming motion to push down the uncomfortable blood-rushing pressure burgeoning between them as I watched Hidan pleasure himself to the disheveled sight of me.

He was impressive in every sense, a creature of pure, forceful desire driving himself over the edge.

And dare I say… proportionate.

"Are you turned on, sweetheart?" He asked, tipping his chin up and looking at me from behind those intensely lidded eyes.

I was. Very much so.

But I felt so weird vocalizing it. I bit my lip and nodded with a small, whining plea. His lids fluttered and he moaned unapologetically, though he recovered quickly and recaptured me with his gaze.

"It's okay to touch yourself, baby girl," he said, watching me intently.

A tiny, unsure noise escaped me as I was fairly certain I knew what he meant but... what if I didn't? I was so afraid of looking silly when he did nothing but exude confidence.

This was his game to win. I didn't even know how to play.

"It's okay. Spread your legs," he encouraged, his voice becoming feverish and desperate. I was wound so tight, my legs began shaking as I forced them apart.

"Fuck …" He muttered to himself as he looked on, gripping himself tighter. "Good girl… Now pull your dress up."

'Good girl.'

His encouragement sent a wave of heat through me as I realized I had done something right, something that pleased him.

I wanted to hear it again.

Though a bit nervously, I pulled the fabric of the dress up past my thighs to reveal my undies.

"Fuck… take them off." His brows knitted together as he commanded me and I could hardly take my eyes off his quickening pace.

"Off, sweetheart. You gotta catch up and I can't fucking slow down."

The hesitance in me was quickly stamped out by his urgency and my panties were on the floor only seconds later. I did, however, stall in putting my legs back into their prior position.

"Open… spread them," his commands were becoming more erratic and insatiable and I immediately twitched to obey, not feeling nearly as exposed as I should have upon the sight of Hidan becoming utterly undone.

"Fuck... God…fuck… that's a good girl."

Good girl. There it is again.

"Holy fuck... Jashin… look at that pussy…" He was transfixed. Worshipping. If my face could have flashed any hotter my skin would have melted off.

He was so obscene.

He is… so why is it turning you on?

"Play with yourself, sweetheart," he urged.

I was hesitant to follow this command, despite his insistence. It was embarrassing. I didn't feel I'd be very good at it, or do it the way he wanted. I wasn't even sure what way that was and I didn't want to screw up this thing we had going.

I didn't want another Itachi situation where I gave it a cute try …

I tried not to think about that.

"Rub your pussy for me, baby, please." He was more specific.

Perhaps he knew I needed detailed instructions. I also assumed that was the first time he'd ever said "please" in his life. Not to mention, at that point it seemed like he was just hurling new pet names at me.

Again, I'll allow it.

God, I felt dumb.

I swallowed. Bringing my shaking hand to hover over my thigh and hesitated, looking up at him. His face was begging me to move it just a little further to the center.

He bit his lip. I bit my lip.

Just freaking do it. Look at him, my God.

I throbbed beneath the pressure of my fingers even just lightly pressing against my own heat. Gasping at the feeling, I didn't realize I could do this and have it feel so good.

"Oh… That's it baby girl… holy fuck . I can see how wet you are from here..." he groaned, nearly closing his eyes, forcing them to stay open as if to take in every last drop with them.

So that's two for two. Guess it really is a good thing.

"That's perfect... just like that. Now, I need you to do something for me, sweetheart." He sounded very serious through all his shallow breathing.

I nodded. I would do it, whatever it was.

"I need you to imagine something…" he said with a lingering stare. "I need you to look at me, look at my cock."

So brazen.

I was looking. He was back to pumping himself in long, slow, rhythmic strokes.

"Good girl… now imagine it squeezing into that tight little pussy of yours…"

Hidan was vocal... to say the least.

"I want you to think about sitting down on it nice and fucking slow… this thick cock pushing through your lips... splitting you open, stretching you out, filling up that cute little hole… fuck baby girl…God..."

I wouldn't call his vocal tendencies bad… just jarring. I had never heard anyone speak like that in my life and my body shuddered upon hearing some of it as he left me no choice but to imagine in vivid detail the things he was describing.

Part of me cringed at his unapologetic lewdness but another part of me basked in it.

It was very obvious he was imagining these things as well as he seemed to unravel towards the end.

He could have been doing those things to me right then, he wanted to be, but this was enough for him at that moment.

Him in the shower, me on the counter, both imagining us doing much more terrible things to each other yet still not daring to do more than just look at one another and touch only ourselves.

"You thinking about it, sweetheart?" he pressed.

His stare was poignant and heated on me, flickering between my hand rubbing against myself in quick succession and my face contorting into some brow-knitted, mouth-gaping expression that had him looking like he would fall apart at any moment.

I nodded with a hitching breath, my voice breaking as I pushed out a small "yes".

"God, I've wanted to see your face do that for the longest fucking time…"

Oh?

"Are you thinking about my hands holding your fucking thighs apart so you couldn't close them even if you tried? You taking this cock, all of it, until I'm slapping against you, bottoming out in your soaking fucking pussy…"

His lids fluttered from just the thought but so did mine.

"Fuck, I would drive this dick into you over and over until I had you screaming… and then I'd keep fucking going." His voice was deep and low and full of all things wanting and needing.

I had lost any semblance of humility as a drawn out, simpering moan tittered off my lips.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm not sure if you could even handle it that deep..." he questioned aloud, his eyes rolling back as he clearly imagined trying regardless.

I wasn't sure either, and the further we pushed into this depraved territory, the more I wanted to find out.

"Faster, baby girl." His commands were for me but he was following them himself.

I was lost in the sight of him. What we were doing felt so oddly animalistic. Like we were devolving into a feverishness dealt upon ourselves but designed for the other person, and there was no force too powerful or speed too quick to satiate the indecent thirst we dared the quench.

"Hidan…? " I whispered with a trill of surprise as a quickly escalating feeling pulsed through me.

My eyes clenched as I hit a spot that spiked in intensity. Then again. And again. I rubbed against it eagerly, chasing the feeling down, my breath becoming more and more strained with each little circle I pressed into myself.

"Open your eyes, sweetheart. Open them," Hidan breathed and grunted his words, his hand squeezing hard around his girth and his hips bucking into it erratically.

"You look at me when you come."

The pressing insistence of his strained voice, the absolute need coating it, had my eyes snapping open to comply, though my lids could hardly handle it. They hung heavy over my darkened irises and my eyebrows knitted desperately with effort to keep my gaze on him.

"Holy fuck, that fucking face" Hidan mumbled under his breath, gaze unnerving. "Look at me. Come for me, sweetheart. Come on."

Between his desperate, begging encouragement and the absolutely unravelled look on his jaw-clenched face, I lost it. I did just as he told me.

I came. I came apart until I was nothing more than a twitching, shivering mess, my hand clenched tightly between my thighs which clamped shut as soon as the swell overwhelmed me.

Despite my hand in a vice grip of my own design, I left it pressed against myself as I let out an extended, stuttering cry at the feeling exploding from beneath my soaked fingertips. I couldn't help but squeeze my eyes shut at the feeling.

"Look at me, baby girl." His command was somehow sweet but booming at the same time and I wrenched my eyes open as much as I could to oblige. They met his and I knew right away that whatever heady, lusting expression my face held was the thing he'd been chasing.

From under my desperately arching brows and heavy lids begging to close from the pleasure, I got to watch him fall to pieces.

Hidan groaned out a string of unintelligible noises and expletives. His free hand shot out against the shower door to hold himself up as he hunched over and angled himself into the stream of the showerhead.

His hand pumping in a mad, sporadic pace. Eyes fixed on me still catching my breath and shaking atop his counter.

A strained grunt marked the beginning of the end. His stomach flexed and twitched as he found release, streams of it shooting from him with his final erratic strokes.

He didn't dare take his eyes off me, nor I him. I was fixed at his expression, teeth bared for a moment as if the intensity in which he burst was too much to handle, yet he seemed to manage just fine in the end.

He stood beneath the warm jets of the showerhead, breathing heavily for a moment, finally allowing himself to close his eyes with a flitter.

He stepped out of the shower, turning it off after only a moment.

I needed more than that, still finding it difficult to breathe or even form a word. I slackly lifted my head to look at him as he walked toward me with eyes that threatened to devour me whole.

"Izumi… sweetheart…" he took my head in his hands, dripping wet fingers cutting through my hair in messy chunks. He tilted my head up towards him at a pinched angle and in a show of dominance, brought his lips against mine for a deep, groaning kiss. I hadn't had a chance to catch my breath yet so I found myself gasping into it.

"That…" he said, breaking away with a pull of my lip between his teeth, "...was fucking sexy ."

"Yeah?" My breathy voice was small and nervous.

"Fucking yeah . Also… I told you I'd make you come without touching you," he said with the slyest of expressions.

I instantly covered my face with my hands, mortified by his bluntness.

"Hey, you think you can hide from me? Give me this," he grabbed my right hand and brought it to his face. I stared at him gaping as he took my fingers into his mouth, one by one.

"Mmm…" He was enjoying himself a little too much.

"What are you doing?" I hissed, unable to pull back.

He seemed to be savoring it but eventually popped the last finger from his lips.

"I'm helping you clean up, geez."

"Hidan," I breathed out, exasperated.

"Alright, alright, come here," he said through a laugh, pulling me against him and planting a kiss on top of my head.

I sighed, contented, closing my eyes and letting myself catch my breath against him.

I had to admit, I really liked my new dress.

Notes:

Alright guys, I think it's safe to say... Hidan likes Izumi :3 and I would also venture to say the same is true vice versa.

DRAMMMAAAAA

I hope y'all like that innocent little mutual masturbation scene... _

I thought it would be fun, since Hidan is sooo super physical, to make it so they couldn't touch at all. And you know... he's got that dirty mouth, may as well put it to use :)

And I love derpy little Izumi learning her sexual preferences. OF COURSE she has a praise kink jfc XD (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT) She is just such a lil cinnamon roll :3

Full Disclosure, I will be taking a small break from posting. I hope to keep it no longer than a month-long hiatus. It is NOT a break from WRITING. Just posting. Do NOT worry. I know these are like... the famous last words for so many fics.

I assure you, I have not lost passion or direction, if anything you guys have kept me going with all your thirst-mongering, you absolute heathens 3 I just tend to write ahead a ways and then go back and fill in the gaps so right now I need time to fill in the gaps and I don't want to feel rushed because then my brain will actually break.

Chapter 35: Midnight*

Notes:

CW: Spicy stuff

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Things were… interesting between Hidan and I after that. I didn't know how to act with him and he was loving it. That afternoon he insisted on making lunch for me, though the only thing he knew how to make was a basic sushi roll, and that was being generous.

"Hey Izumi, what kind of veggie should I add to this roll? Eggplant or cucumber?" Hidan asked me, standing at the kitchen counter, holding each very phallic vegetable with a rather firm grip.

I sat at the kitchen table trying to finish my sudoku in peace, absolutely mortified by the question since Kakuzu and Deidara were also present at the table witnessing this interaction.

I glared at Hidan with a knowing look which only added a glint of amusement to his eyes.

"I don't know, why not cucumber?" I mused with a shrug before looking back down at the half-completed sudoku board.

"Really? I would have expected eggplant from you," he began, hefting the eggplant in the air. "They're bigger, you get more out of them, fun to look at, ya know?"

I sighed deeply before answering with a pointed glare. "Well, that's true Hidan. Why don't you go with the eggplant then."

"Whoa whoa whoa, let's not be hasty now. There is something to be said about the cucumber's shape." He started waving the cucumber around.

"Nice and uniform, sleek, mostly symmetrical. Some have a slight curve but, you know, I'd like to think that's a good thing." He ended thoughtfully, balancing the vegetable on one finger.

"Dude, you are a fucking psychopath," Deidara chimed in before I had to answer, thank god.

"Seconded," Kakuzu muttered after a sip of coffee without even looking up from his paper.

"Alright alright, I'll go with the fucking cucumber. We don't want to get too wild, am I right?" Hidan was grinning like an idiot.

I was trying desperately to shoot him a look that had a general air of ' would you stop?!' , but I don't think I hid my own amusement well enough.

He was looking exceptionally good sans shirt, as per usual, and I found myself admiring the little dimples above his butt as he stood over the counter. Not that he knew this, but even though our little interaction happened only just that morning, I was having the hardest time not thinking about it constantly.

It was very distracting of course, but even worse than that, a lot of it was spent worrying about what Hidan was thinking.

Did he actually feel something for me or was he just vulnerable at that moment? Or maybe it was just a game to him?

In the moment it really felt like we had something more between us but… I had thought that before and been wrong. It was possible he'd already reconsidered his feelings and come to his senses.

He'd been hot and cold with me in the past, perhaps this was no different.

Falling asleep that night, despite being rather tired from how much I had gotten done that day, was proving to be rather difficult. The knowledge that my birthday actually came with real plans that year was making me giddy.

Between that and my more-than-lingering recollection of Hidan from that morning, I was having a rough go of it.

Maybe you should… pay him a visit?

No. It was nearly midnight. Surely he was sleeping.

Plus, he might take it the wrong way. He might just immediately assume I was there to proposition him. I really just wanted some reassurance that he didn't suddenly decide to hate me.

If sleeping with him meant even the slightest possibility of his near-future abandonment, such was my only experience to date, then I didn't want to do that.

Boring...

Not boring. Safe.

Besides, it was my own internal thoughts that made me hesitate to begin with. Still though... I tossed and turned for a few more minutes before my body seemed to get up on it's own. I found myself standing at my door.

I breathed in deep, mustering the courage to even just open the door. If I truly went to see Hidan, and he was as charming as he'd been lately, I wasn't sure I'd be strong enough to resist his advances if he were to use them on me.

And he does tend to use them on you...

But simultaneously, my mind wandered to darker places the more I thought about having not seen him since lunch.

I wondered what he was up to, what he was thinking about. Was he thinking of me?

No, of course not. I had already decided he was fast asleep.

Was he thinking of me as much as I was thinking of him though?

Okay, this is just getting ridiculous. So we've shifted from constant thoughts of Itachi's rejection to Hidan paranoia?

In my defense, Itachi's rejection and Itachi in general were still frequent flyers in my brain, now it was a healthy rotation between him and Hidan.

It's not like Hidan owed me a "goodnight" or anything, it's not like we were together... but there was something about the thought of him just going to bed that night without a word to me that put a festering pit in my belly.

What would I look like if I showed up at his door? Desperate at best, voraciously clingy at worst.

I was stuck in a state of analysis paralysis, staring at my door as I contemplated the pros and cons of going to see Hidan. The last time I went to see a guy I liked in the middle of the night, my heart ended up in a bleeding puddle on the floor.

I looked at the clock. It struck midnight exactly.

Maybe just… go get a snack. A midnight snack.

Yeah, that's a thing.

And while you're up, you can decide.

That seemed reasonable. Enough to get me moving at least.

I opened the door and startled backwards with a gasp.

"H-Hidan?" I whispered in both surprise and relief. He stood there looking like he was poised to knock on my door, leaning coolly against the frame with a dimly lit lantern in one hand.

"God, you know, I never get tired of hearing you say my name." He flashed a broad smile.

He was flirting out of the gate. It was helping to dissolve that nasty pit.

Though there was something just a little off about him.

He looked slightly… disheveled? Shaky? It was hard to pin down. He seemed a little paler than normal, a slight sheen of sweat on him. He reminded me of myself when I'd wake up from a nightmare.

"Were you going somewhere?" He asked.

I swallowed.

"Yeah, I was just… hungry," I said.

"Mmm, I bet you were. Anything I can help with?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked, skipping over his obvious innuendo. I was getting better at detecting them.

"What time is it?" Hidan asked.

"It's midnight, and I don't appreciate you answering my question with another question."

"Heh, that's fine, I can think of some other things about me I'm pretty damn sure you appreciate."

I stuttered out the beginning of a retort but it fizzled out as my cheeks flared to life. He grinned.

"Happy birthday, by the way. Kind of what I came here to say."

I froze. I think my brain broke. He couldn't actually have been there just to say that, could he? Right at midnight? That would mean he'd been waiting to do just this, he timed it out and everything. That would be just… too sweet.

"Hey, are you feeling okay, Hidan?" I was being a bit playful but there was a serious question in there somewhere.

"Why, did I offend you or something? Got a thing against birthdays? Here, let me try again." He cleared his throat. "Hey sweetheart, I just wanted to be the first person to tell you this on your special day... Fuck your birthday and fuck you too."

He smiled. I deadpanned.

"What? Was that not what you wanted?" He asked innocently.

No. I wanted him to kiss me and finish dissolving that pit.

"I wasn't offended . It was just abnormally sweet of you. Plus you're looking a little…"

"Sexy?" he interrupted.

"Hm, not what I was going to say, believe it not."

"... Sexy as fuck?" he tried again, even more hopeful.

"More like 'run-down'," I said bluntly.

He pursed his lips at this. It was an even cuter pout than Deidara's.

"Well, in my defense, I had a pretty fucking exhausting morning." He acted like he was complaining but he had a wistful smile on his face at the memory.

He knew I wouldn't know how to respond to this and he took a moment to thoroughly enjoy my bout of speechlessness.

"Are you really okay?" I eventually asked, deciding to side-step that whole thing entirely.

"Geez, I'm really not sure, Izumi. Maybe you should invite me in, just to be safe," He said with mock concern.

I hoped the overwrought roll of my eyes covered up the secret excitement I had at the lame excuse to have him come in.

"Get in here," I said with an impatient scoff, pulling him in by the wrist.

As if it's a bother...

"Wow. Check out the iron fucking grip, guess I don't have much of choice." He conceded and followed me with a smirk.

"You're hysterical, you know that?" I asked with a scolding undertone.

"Of course I do. I'm self-aware as fuck."

I offered a loud, abrupt snort at this as I led him over to sit on the edge of my bed, setting the lantern he had on the nightstand. It emitted a cozy little glow in my modest room.

"I'm serious, Hidan. You don't look so good, do you have a fever?" I asked, stepping into the space between his knees before him.

Checking his temperature only required one hand, just the back of it against his forehead, yet I found my other resting gently on the sloping area between his neck and broad shoulders.

Hidan closed his eyes for just a moment before laughing off my comment.

"Come on, who the fuck do you think you're talking to? I'm always fine." He was joking but he was also serious.

I couldn't help but feel incredibly saddened by it. He was Hidan. He'd built up such a persona that he wasn't allowed to be anything else. No one ever expected anything out of him besides surface-level anger, violence and crassness and a self-perpetuated sense of arrogance... but I knew better.

He wouldn't have been at my door at midnight to wish me a happy birthday if that was truly all there was to him.

"Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?" he asked, clearly getting weirded out.

I shook my head. "Sorry, just zoning out." I smiled. "I know you said you're fine, I'm sure you are, so maybe just humor me and let me take care of you a bit?"

"What? No. I came in here to fucking take care of you ."

" Me ?" I asked, incredulous. "What for?"

"Yeah, you. It's your damn birthday and that offer for a back massage is going to expire soon. Thought you might want to use it, lemon-lime."

I thought back to when he'd given me the leg massage after hurling jello-based insults at me and recalled he was rather good with his hands. There was no doubt in my mind that what he was suggesting wouldn't be thoroughly enjoyable.

Though I still pined for a simple kiss.

"Oh my. I didn't realize there was an expiration date. I suppose I better take advantage then, huh?"

"Sure, you can take advantage of me any time you want, sweetheart."

Ignoring that.

"But first. I get five minutes to take care of you," I said.

He scowled and whined. "I already told you I'm fucking fine. I don't need anyone to fucking take care of me."

There was no doubt in my mind he truly believed that. He seemed like he was getting genuinely annoyed by the insinuation that he could be anything less than okay at any given point in time. But that was just so unrealistic. Surely a result of life as a shinobi.

"Please?" I asked, both my hands at that point were on his shoulders. I gave them a small squeeze as some sort of physical plea. "For my birthday?"

With a groan and his head lolling back, he conceded. "Five minutes?"

"Five minutes," I agreed with a smile. I skipped to the bathroom, running a washcloth under cool water.

"You're not gonna stick a thermometer up my ass, are you?" I could hear Hidan asking from the other room.

"Wasn't the plan, but if you ask real nice…" I called from the bathroom, wringing out the washcloth.

"Mm, look at you all feisty after midnight."

I resumed my position standing between his widely set knees.

"You know this is fucking stupid, right?" Hidan said as I began blotting his forehead with the cool, damp cloth.

"Hidan… please," I said, touching my free hand to the nape of his neck, letting the tips of my fingers find their way into his hair.

His expression softened a bit as he sighed. "Fine…"

I took my time in wiping the cool cloth across his skin. He had put on a show of acting like the whole thing was silly but his unintentional, heavy exhales and lulling of his eyelids told me he enjoyed it on some level. Maybe even needed it.

Hidan really was beautiful. I had noticed it the first time I saw him, his unusual features very striking, but this was the first time I really got to shamelessly admire him at such a close proximity.

His strong, angular jaw, the arch of his eyebrows when they weren't cocked in some arrogant way, the slight cupid's bow of his lips and the little dip above them. His delicate, surprisingly long silvery lashes. Don't even get me started on his eyes.

I had no clue why this man seemed to find me attractive but I suppose I was grateful as I very much liked to look at him.

When I begrudgingly finished with his face, I travelled down his neck and traced along the protruding bones of his collar.

When his eyes were open, they were trained on me. I wanted so badly to just grab his face and press my mouth against his.

I set the cloth on the table, returning to him and smoothing down his hair, allowing my nails to rake down his scalp.

"Mm, done?" Hidan asked, closing his eyes for a second. He didn't seem to totally hate it.

"No. Why is this so hard for you? You've taken care of me plenty of times."

"That's because you need taking care of. You're small..." he reached out to brush his thumb across my cheek. "... and cute, and powerless." It was almost sweet until he got to the last one. That one was a little too real. He continued on, his thumb grazing across the skin of my cheek once more before moving to my lips. "And I'm big, and strong, and powerful." His finger dragged across my bottom lip as he spoke, regarding me with a tilt of his head. "Isn't it obvious? It's me that takes care of you, baby girl."

My hands came to rest atop his knees to steady me. I may not have agreed with him but the way he looked at me as he delivered that line made my knees want to give out.

He seemed to have everything all figured out in that black and white brain of his. I wanted to argue with him, remind him that physical strength was not the only kind. That everyone needed help sometimes. But he cut me off with a question that made the rest of my mind go blank.

"So when the fuck are you gonna kiss me, sweetheart?"

"W-what?" I stammered.

"You heard me."

I did. I did and he knew it. I heard him loud and clear. I just wasn't expecting that. There was no time to form a witty answer so I was forced to tell the truth.

The horror.

"I was… waiting for you to kiss me," I admitted.

He grinned. "I know."

"You knew ?!"

He laughed. "Uh yeah, not like you're fucking subtle. You've been eyeing these silky soft lips since I opened the door. I had half a mind to just shove my tongue down your throat right then and there, mind you."

How romantic.

I produced some sort of incredulous scoffing noise which loosely translated to 'so why didn't you?'.

His face moved within inches of mine, his gaze tethering to my own.

"I wanted to see if you'd do it."

His eyes darkened, the humor leaving them. "Lesson number one, and this goes for basically anything in this miserable fucking world... If you want something, sweetheart, just take it."

His voice was practically a low growl by the time he finished speaking. It spiked my heart rate and shallowed my breath. I squeezed his knees just to feel grounded. Hyper-focusing on his lips I watched as his teeth bit down onto the bottom one.

I just stared, unable to bring myself to move. I wanted to be kissing him, he wanted me to be kissing him.

So why did I feel so paralyzed?

"Izumi." My name came out of the mouth I was so keenly regarding.

I snapped up to meet his gaze again.

"Fucking take it." It was a command. Almost a rule. And I liked that.

The breath catching in my throat did not stop me from complying. My hands quickly planted themselves onto the sides of his face, pulling him closer to press my lips against his with a soft whine.

It was filled with relief, I had been aching to do it since I saw him at lunch.

Oddly enough, he seemed to be letting me take the lead. I wasn't sure what to do with myself, but I knew what he would have done and I tried my best to emulate it in the absence of my own original thought.

I let my tongue hesitantly peek out against his bottom lip, the one he'd been biting only moments ago.

This garnered a deep, approving hum from him as he opened for me. It did not take long for him to resume control after that, his tongue fighting to dominate mine as both his hands grabbed my waist before moving down to cup my butt, one cheek in each hand.

He squeezed hard with a rough shake, clearly enjoying the way it felt. I did too.

I let out a gasping cry as one of his hands suddenly came slapping down against my left cheek. I let my forehead fall against his shoulder as I breathed in deeply, absorbing the odd stinging pain that somehow, simultaneously set a flame in me.

He brought his mouth down to my ear.

"That was for hesitating…"

I couldn't stop the needy little noise that managed to escape my lips at this.

So there would be repercussions if I didn't do what he wanted, do as he said…? I had to question my sanity for a second because that excited me far more than it should have.

"I'm sorry," I whispered through a breath. He pushed me back by my shoulders to look at me, his hands coming up to hold the cheeks on my face.

"It's alright, sweetheart. Normally I'd have some ways you could make it up to me, but… it is your birthday and I still have that massage I need to give you."

He moved to pull me up onto the bed but I planted myself in place and wrapped my arms around his torso.

"Wait," I whispered, pulling myself tightly against him.

I was just feeling a little overwhelmed.

Left alone with my thoughts all day, I had half-convinced myself that he didn't even like me anymore. And now there he was kissing me like it healed his wounds and was offering to take care of me.

I just needed a second to take it in. It didn't feel real. It felt too good.

"Something wrong, baby girl? I need to fuck someone up?" Hidan asked, one of his hands immediately taking to running through my hair, smoothing it down against my neck.

I loved when he called me that.

I shook my head against him, planting a tiny kiss on his neck to assure him there was indeed, nothing wrong. He inhaled deeply.

"I was just… I was being dumb," I mumbled into him.

"Impossible. We've already been over this. You got that big fucking brain, remember?"

"The two aren't mutually exclusive. It can be both big and dumb."

"Fuck, you got me there. Alright, tell me what you were thinking and I'll tell you if it was dumb."

I groaned. There was no way I was getting out of this, I just needed to get it over with.

"I just thought maybe you… were sick of me already…" I grumbled quietly into his shoulder with a wince.

At first there was no answer, I only felt him shaking before he burst out laughing way too loud.

"Hey, it's too late for you to be laughing this hard," I muttered, feeling more embarrassed than I would admit to.

"Yeah well, you were right, that is really fucking dumb. Super glad I didn't eat your brain when I had the chance."

"Hey!" I cried, tearing away from him to shoot him a dirty look. He looked amazingly amused and shook his head, staring at me with this disbelieving laugh.

"Izumi, sweetheart, you are the only person on this godforsaken planet that I do not want to kill."

He was serious when he said that. The fact that he didn't feel the urge to kill me when he felt it for everyone else was the most deranged compliment I had ever received.

"Get the fuck over here, will you?" He patted the blankets beside him. I crawled onto the bed as he slid off and we essentially traded spots.

"The shirt comes off and you lay on your stomach, arms at your sides," he said, knowing I would need directions even for such a simple thing. I appreciated that about him.

"Why does my shirt have to come off?" I asked, trying not to sound horrified.

"I'm not giving you a fucking massage through your shirt, it would be like getting blown through my goddamn pants. There'd be no fucking point."

I blinked madly several times and made some sort of blustery snort from my throat. I'm not sure what answer I was expecting, but that was not it.

"God, you're fucking cute when you're all flustered," he said with a smirk, brushing my cheek.

I blushed and glanced away. "So you do it on purpose?"

He grabbed me by the chin and pulled my face back to look at him.

"Sometimes," he said, before closing the space between us with an aggressive, domineering kiss. He broke it as abruptly as he began it.

"Stay focused, sweetheart. Remember the next step?"

"My shirt…" I said quietly, looking down at myself.

"I do offer a shirt removal service, free of charge," he said with a raised brow and a bite of his lip.

"Is that so? I'm not convinced you even know what a shirt is based on your wardrobe."

A grin split wide across his face. "That a complaint?"

"No…" I admitted sheepishly. His grin somehow grew wider.

"I'll admit, maybe I'm not the best at putting them on… but I sure as fuck can take one off."

I stared up at him with big eyes, biting my lip as I thought hard on whether or not it would be the right move to take him up on the offer.

On one hand, I ached for him to touch me in literally any way and his fingers brushing against my skin as he pulled my shirt off would certainly fall under that umbrella.

On the other hand, he would see me topless. Which just seemed embarrassing.

Analysis paralysis had set in once again. I wasn't making a choice and he could tell.

Still meeting my gaze, he slowly reached down and grabbed one of my wrists. Equally slowly, he gathered up the other in the same hand and lifted both above my head.

He held them there, staring down at me with a tilt of his head

"Now… I'm gonna pull this shirt off."

"Can I keep a bra on?" I asked.

"You're not wearing one. Also, no."

I balked.

Of course he could tell.

"Not gonna lie, felt pretty fucking nice when you were hugging me."

I wanted to cover my face but my hands were currently being held captive. How did I not think of that before I hugged him?

"Anyway… like I was fucking saying," he gave me a pointed look. "I'm gonna take this off. You're gonna lay on your stomach with your arms at your sides. Got it?"

"Yes…" I mumbled.

"Listen. These directions are as much for me as they are for you. You are very fucking distracting ... so I need you to keep me on track. Can you do that?"

I nodded, though I'm not sure why.

You keeping Hidan on track? HAH.

Hidan's fingers quickly found the bottom of my shirt. I could feel his nails gently scraping against my belly as he lifted it. He was not like Itachi who stared at my face the whole time, even as the shirt hit the floor.

No, the second my breasts were exposed, his eyes shifted with surgical precision to stare.

He had recaptured my wrists after the shirt was gone.

I just sat in front of him feeling like I was the catch of the day or something. Kneeling on the bed, arms held between his fingers above my head, staring up at him with a hard swallow as the cold air hit my chest.

"I think I'm… supposed to be… laying on my stomach now," I said, feeling a strange mix of over-exposure but also slightly captivated by the expression he wore as he took me in.

"Yeah… about that," he said, unapologetically gazing at my chest without so much as a blink. He did, however, slowly release my wrists.

"Change of plans, I'm thinking we should start with the front," he said, quite decidedly.

"Hidan!" I scolded, cupping my breasts in my too-small hands, not that I had a sizable chest by any means. "You said to keep you on track!"

"I am on track! It's just, ya know... a different fucking track. It's called a fucking detour , Izumi."

I gave him a look.

"Fucking… fine... lay on your stomach," he muttered and gestured to the bed angrily, crossing his arms in frustration. "Lay on your cute-ass fucking tummy and deprive me of every joy in this life. Go on, go ahead and fucking do it."

He was being such a drama queen, I tried stifling my laughs as I layed down.

I turned my head to look at him, cheek pressed against the blankets.

"You've really built this up, you know. I hope it's as good as you say." I challenged, knowing this would steer him back on track.

"Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea who you're fucking talking to."

"No? Well why don't you show me then."

"Would you look at this... The shirt comes off and she turns into a little fucking vixen," he said, eyebrow raised before getting on the bed and mounting me from behind, his hips lowering down so he was seated somewhat on my bottom.

I felt something very distinctly and obstinately pressing against it.

"Um…" I started to question what I was feeling and Hidan quickly cut me off.

He coughed. "Hm. Fuck. Sorry about that."

"Is that… what I think it is?" I asked, pushing my butt up against it to get a better feel.

" Whoa -kayy… hoo… fuck… I don't think you wanna fucking do that…" Hidan said in a strained voice, stilling my hips with his hands, pressing them forcefully into the bed.

"Sorry…" I apologized half-heartedly, mostly amused at his reaction.

"And to answer your question… Do you think it's my fat fucking cock? Because if so… then yes ."

" Hidan… " I whispered harshly. If I had pearls I would have been clutching them. Sometimes I had no words for the crassness of this man.

"Look, I promise he's well behaved. You'll barely notice him. Best behavior and all that shit. Something something scout's fucking honor," Hidan assured.

I could hear the slickness of his hands rubbing together as he applied some kind of oil to them.

"Not sure how I could miss it…" I replied sarcastically. I couldn't see him but I was positive he was grinning at the obvious nod to his size.

"Hey, technically it's your fucking fault," he muttered as he finally pressed his hands into my back.

I was going to argue that having breasts did not warrant fault, but I had suddenly become too busy dissolving.

His large hands swept slowly over my entire back to cover it thoroughly with oil. In big, sweeping figure-eight movements, he skated his palms across my skin with the perfect amount of pressure.

He had powerful hands and knew exactly how to use them much to my delight, earning him a plethora of contented sighs of varying volumes and neediness.

"Feel good, sweetheart?"

"Mhmm…" I managed to groan out and he pressed his thumbs along each side of my spine and slowly worked his way down it's length towards him, drawing out a litany of additional puffs and little moans.

"Mm… better be careful with those noises, baby girl…"

I could feel him still hard and now twitching against me. I didn't think it could turn me on so much, but I found myself enjoying the feeling of him against me in that way as much as I did his hands.

"I'm not sure… I can..." I whispered, holding back another heady breath as he pressed a circle deep into my lower back with the heel of his palm. It ended up just coming out even louder after I got my words out.

" Goddamn… you're trying to torture me aren't you?"

"I thought you liked torture…"

"I do, as in I like to be the one fucking doing it."

"Well, it only seems fair that you should be on the receiving end once in a while then." I was getting bold.

I lifted my bottom against him once more and he immediately ground into it like he'd been waiting for that. I gasped at the feel of him pushing at my entrance through our clothes.

"Baby…" he breathed out, no longer moving. "I'm serious, you're playing with fucking fire doing that shit."

"I'm sorry… I can't help it," I whined.

"Oh fuck, don't say that… don't say shit like that, sweetheart…"

I felt him pulse against me and if it was anything like how I felt between my legs, it was almost painful for him. His hands had gone from rubbing and pressing into my back to maintaining a firm but tenuous grip on my hips.

It seemed like it was to still them at first, but then it felt like he was pulling me up against him.

"Why not?" I breathed.

"Mm, Izumi… I gotta ask…" His voice was deep and gravelly from restraint. "Are you trying to get fucked right now?"

There he was again, answering my question with another question. A really freaking blunt one.

I let out a strained unsure noise in my first attempt at answering it

'So yes, I fucked you.'

Why did I have to think about that at a time like this?

Hidan's specific use of words was unfortunate, as I suddenly could only seem to hear Itachi talking about 'fucking' me. My apparently 'cute' attempt at it...

I understood it was only natural for Hidan, given his expressive speech patterns, and I'd even heard him use it in a sexual context before, but this just hit differently.

It would not be wise.

Don't you want more time with him?

At least you could have your birthday together.

Sleep with him now and he'll be gone by morning.

My mind was frantic and racing to administer damage control due to my antics.

"I… I don't think I'm … ready," I managed to get out. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry for fuck's sake, I just want to give you what you want," he said, which did make me feel a little better but I mostly felt stupid.

"I do think," Hidan started as he swung his leg over me to get off the bed, "I need to finish this standing."

I looked over. He was practically bursting out of his pants.

"Alright…" he said with a deep sigh, "where the fuck were we?"

He yanked me closer towards the edge of the bed so he had a better angle over me and went right back to work. His palms gliding firmly down my back, his fingers going further down and creeping beneath the top of my pants.

Hidan hummed. "You know, technically your spine goes down pretty fucking far, basically to your ass crack. You opposed to pulling these down a bit so I can get to everything?"

It sounded like a flimsy excuse to take my pants off. But then again… he also already knew there was a line I wouldn't cross. It couldn't hurt, right?

Only one way to find out.

"T-that's fine…"

He wasted no time. His fingers hooked into the waist hem.

"Lift," he said, tugging a bit to show they wouldn't come off easily without my cooperation.

"Thought I wasn't supposed to do that anymore," I questioned, turning my head to look up at him with a sneaky little smile.

He cocked his head at me with a raised brow.'

"Fuck it. Have it your way then, sweetheart," he smiled wryly and yanked my pants down in what I could only call a show of force, lifting and jarring my body as he did so. Turns out they pulled off quite easily when he was rough with me.

Turns out I liked it when he was rough with me.

Hm. Alarming.

"Hey, those are down way further than my butt," I complained, my pants around my knees.

Hidan shrugged. "If you fucking helped me out I woulda been able to control it more. You made your bed, now fuck in it."

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Hidan, that's not how that saying goes!"

"Aw man, did I fuck it up? My bad, my bad. I think I know it, it's uh... you fucked in your bed, now shit in it."

"No!"

Hidan was grinning like an idiot. He knew I fake-hated it when he did that so of course he was constantly messing that stuff up.

He was back to putting oil on his hands and surveying me with hooded eyes.

"Looking awfully helpless there, sweetheart…" he said, taking a step back like it would help him get a better view.

"What are you doing?" I ask a bit impatiently. I wanted his hands on me again.

"I'm saving this for later," he said, still shamelessly staring.

I scrunched my face in questioning.

"My God Izumi, do I need to explain this ? I'm gonna fucking jerk off to you later. I'm just taking a second to remember this for the goddamn spank bank."

"Oh my GOD ," I cried into the bedspread.

Hidan was cracking up.

"I fucking… yeah, I don't know what to fucking tell you. It's really not fair. Look at this ass. Literally every part of you is either cute as a fucking button or hotter than hell. I'm fucking enjoying it, what can I say."

I eventually found it in me to turn my head and look at him. He was just standing there, somewhat shrugging, rubbing oil together and looking at me like I was something beautiful.

"I'm a lot of things, but a liar ain't one of them, baby girl."

I wanted to kiss him badly.

I thought he was something beautiful, especially in the orange glow of the lantern light.

"Which one is my butt?"

"First of all, Izumi, I am begging you. Please just call it an 'ass'. I know you don't really cuss much but that one is like… barely a curse word. You sound like a four year old when you call it a butt and I want to think about fucking you without feeling like a damn pedo…"

I scoffed at his blatant and brazen admission as well as his criticism of my speech patterns.

Rude as beans.

"Secondly, the fuck are you talking about?"

"My… ass ," I said in a very quiet voice, "Is it cute or…?"

He smiled widely at my use of 'ass' and took another thoughtful look at it.

"Is it cute or hotter than hell? God, it's fucking… somehow both? I don't know how you do it. Look at this little freckle peeking out of here," he said, grabbing one cheek to spread them apart.

"Hidan!" I shrieked with a giggle and scooted away.

"What? Fuck, I just wanted to see if it had friends!" He feigned innocence. "Also, that was way too easy for you to move away…" Hidan sounded like he was talking to himself.

"What now?" I whined, desperate for his touch but not if he was only going to use it to try to get a better view of my freaking crack freckle.

Though I had to admit, it was kind of freeing how comfortable I was starting to feel around him, even in my current state of undress. It surprised me.

He was easy.

"How much do you trust me?" He asked with a grin.

"With my life," I answered far too quickly and far too seriously for how he had asked the question. I didn't even think about it, I didn't feel like I needed to.

Most of the humor left his face as he regarded me with an odd look. He seemed to be stopped in his tracks, which was unusual for him, taken aback by the bluntness of my answer, but in all fairness I was taken back by his bluntness all the time.

He seemed to store this away somewhere mentally.

"Welp, that's a better answer than I could have fucking hoped for. In that case, put your hands behind your back for me, sweetheart."

I did so hesitantly, watching as he pulled off the cloth belt tied at the top of his pants.

"Good girl," he murmured as he grabbed my wrists together at the small of my back and draped the cloth over them without tying. He bent down to be closer to my ear.

"I'm not an idiot, I know you were actually tied up... so maybe this is a bad idea. But… if I did it… do you think you might like it?"

My brain was getting foggy from the feel of his chest touching against the bare skin of my back as he leaned over me.

I breathed in unsteadily as his free hand caressed the back of my thigh, passing up and onto my ass where it stopped with a squeeze.

I thought about being tied up again and how it might feel different in the safety of my own room, which honestly felt the most comfortable it ever had at that point, with Hidan in it, under the warm lamplight glow.

"I think… I might," I said quietly.

He was swiftly tying and securing my wrists together behind my back.

"You tell me if you don't, baby girl," he said, kissing my bound wrists before moving further south once more.

"My God… this ass," he growled to himself.

His hands were all over it, rubbing and squeezing, pushing the oil across the cheeks and down the backs of my thighs.

I tugged with my wrists as if to pull them apart, just testing the restraints. They were tied tightly. I couldn't deny there was something about that helplessness that made me feel something. It felt wrong to enjoy such a thing, but enjoy it, I did.

"How's it feel, sweetheart?" he asked, his hand traveling up to hold one of mine briefly. My fingers immediately took to curling around his.

He was checking in, I realized. It was... sweet.

"I… like it," I said, breathy as a marathon runner.

"Good, me too." he said in a deep whisper. "Now normally... I'd be spanking you for giving me that fucking sassy ass question earlier and not cooperating with the pants… but it's your birthday after all and I don't want to be too harsh… figure I'll let you off the hook this time… this time."

How very gracious… though that won't be necessary.

I thought back to the stinging feeling of his hand against my cheek earlier and I... I didn't mind it one bit.

"Well…" I trailed off.

No... maybe I shouldn't have said anything...

"Hm? What's that, baby?"

Ugh. These pet names were making me melt. I would have told him anything.

I noticed he tended to really overuse them during these types of interactions. You know... sexy stuff. I suppose he thought it would be encouraging for me.

It certainly was.

"I mean… It was kind of rude of me…." I said sheepishly, a bit muffled into the blankets. I glanced back to see him with a very devious, growing smile.

"Hm, it was… wasn't it?" He said, pushing his jaw out and staring down at me with a lusting approval. He dragged his fingertips over the curves of my thighs and bottom.

"So, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think what you're telling me is that maybe ..." he settled his hand firmly on one cheek, "just fucking maybe, you ought to be punished?"

He patted his hand against my ass gently, as if warming it up for what was to come.

"Do I have that right, sweetheart. Do you want this?" His voice alone was enough to set that throbbing ache between my thighs. I could feel myself getting wet.

He patted me a little harder.

"Mm," I pushed out a noise that I thought sounded like an affirmation. I always felt so silly talking during these sexual situations, especially when it was so clear that Hidan was such a natural.

"Put your ass in the air if you want this, baby girl," he coaxed, and I was thankful for the option of non-verbal consent.

Of course my shaky legs were making things difficult as always and I didn't have use of my arms, but I managed to lift my ass up with a whine.

You probably look like a freaking inchworm. A sexy inchworm at best. Still an inchworm though.

I wished I was nicer to myself, but I also doubted I was wrong.

"Mm, now she's being a good girl… but it's too late for that," Hidan tutted, one hand still firmly on my right cheek, the other moving beneath me in the space where I had lifted, hooking around my hip from underneath so he could support me and keep my ass as high as he wanted.

He pulled me up a little higher, spreading my cheeks more and drawing out a gasp from me.

"Fuck if I'm not saving this view for later…" he mumbled to himself as he rubbed his hand over my cheeks, slowly moving from one to the other, causing me to twitch as he lingered on the in-between.

"You ready, sweetheart?"

"Yes…" I eked out.

His hand was gone. When it returned it felt like it brought fire with it.

The cry that came out of my mouth sounded so odd to me. It was quite obvious that pain was not the only thing driving it, there was a thick coating of neediness that tapered out as a whimper.

" Fuck… " Hidan murmured approvingly, rubbing gently over the cheek he'd just spanked. He came down on it again, then again. A succession of squeaks and whines from me punctuating each one as he continued.

When it felt like I had just about reached my threshold for the painful pleasure, he switched to the other side, giving it several small, quick slaps in a row before landing a big one that ended with a grab and a shake, leaving me shuddering.

The long, low growl drawn from his throat made me want to push up even more but I wasn't in control of that any longer. I was once again left wondering if Hidan really was psychic with the way he seemed to know when I had just reached my limit.

"You think you need more?" Hidan asked.

"Need more? You mean… to… learn my lesson?" I asked back, shy and hesitant.

"That's right, baby girl. To learn your fucking lesson," he said, rubbing gently over the tender, punished skin of my cheeks reassuringly.

I whined, some sort of indecisive noise coming from me.

"You want to know what I think?" he asked, his hand moving down my inner thigh and back up, stopping so the tips of his fingers were wildly close to my entrance.

I was thankful he was supporting my ass in the air because the shaking of my legs became a real problem.

"W-what?" I asked shakily.

"I think…"

His hand moved, just slightly. I felt him just barely grazing up my slit and then back down, pressing into the folds and exploring them surprisingly gently.

" Hidan ," I gasped in a whisper, overwhelmed by the spark it ignited.

"Mm, I think... you're really fucking wet, sweetheart..."

He lost his train of thought.

The pad of his middle finger stroked from top to bottom several times before settling softly on my bundle of nerves.

He barely moved at all after that and it was driving me insane .

He would slowly press and release, applying more and less pressure at varying speeds, toying with me, watching and listening for my reactions.

And I gave him plenty of reactions.

It was like he was trying to figure out what made me tick, where my buttons were and which ones did what. He was bordering on cruel with how slow and torturous he went about it.

I whined and stretched to press against him more but he only retreated his touch, softening the pressure to almost nothing, causing my whine to grow and become even more impatient.

"Fuck, this is the cutest little pussy I've ever seen… I could play with you all day, baby girl."

He shifted to lightly pinch me between two fingers, rolling and kneading my sensitive little button between them in a slow rhythm which left me a mewling mess.

"God, these fucking noises are gonna be my fucking end..." he muttered to himself, keenly noting my fluttering eyelids with a bite of his lip.

I couldn't even stop them from pouring out of me.

"Shhh, baby girl. I know, I know…" he murmured sympathetically as he continued to touch me in ways that I couldn't comprehend.

"I know you want more, and I'll take care of you… but only if you're good for me…Can you do that? Can you be good?"

"I can," I whined desperately.

"You can what ?" he asked, eyes dark and wanting.

I froze, unsure of what I was supposed to say.

"You can fucking what , sweetheart?" He pushed me to figure it out quickly.

"I can… be…" my voice was so quiet and uncertain.

"Mhmm…" he encouraged.

"I can be good… for you."

"Mm, I'm sure you can, baby girl," he groaned out.

He pushed a finger into me, drawing the most fitful, hitching breath from my lips. My hands strained against the bindings to move but they stayed in place behind my back, nails biting into my palms.

"If you're a good girl and take just a little more... Fuck, you're tight… holy shit... this fucking pussy..." He took a second to breathe and gather his thoughts. "I think… fuck… I think if I can get your ass nice and pink... then you'll have earned a reward."

He was pushing in and out of me slowly, practically forcing me to let out a soft little moan every time I felt his knuckle against me.

"You think that sounds fair, baby girl?"

"Y-y…y..."

"Come on, say it. You can do it, sweetheart. We're gonna get you talking."

He added another finger with some strain and began going faster. I thought my eyes were going to roll straight out of my skull. How could he expect me to form words when he was pushing inside me like that?

"Y…. y-ye-s." It took every ounce of effort and it still barely passed as intelligible.

"Good girl…" he praised, curling his fingers inside me. "Ready?"

He thought better of waiting for an answer considering how long it took for me to get out the previous one.

He abruptly pulled his fingers out, leaving me wanting, and immediately replaced the feeling with a blinding, stinging sensation as he came down hard on my ass, drawing a sharp yelp from me. Then again, and again.

"Shh, baby. It's okay… just a little more…" he coaxed as he alternated slapping each cheek, back and forth, not letting up, hammering down on them. I could feel the jiggle of my ass and thighs with each resounding hit.

It was causing the pressure in me to mount dangerously. I worried at one point that I might come from that alone.

Hm. Alarming still.

I lost count of how many he had landed but when it was over, my ass felt unbelievably hot. I could feel it radiating out like it was it's own heat source. He trailed his fingertips over the sensitive skin before rubbing his full palm across my bottom with a surprising tenderness.

"God... fuck, look how rosy this fucking ass is," he muttered, absently rubbing me still like he was utterly enraptured.

I wished I could see, but the view of Hidan was plenty satisfying. I felt like I'd never appreciate the site of my own pink butt as much as he did, so instead I angled my head to be able to look up and back at him as he stared endearingly down at it.

"Was I... good enough?" I asked quietly after a moment, biting my lip.

He looked down and met my gaze with fully dilated pupils. I had no idea how he managed an expression so soft and hungry at the same time but it had me coming apart at the seams.

" So good, sweetheart. You earned this..."

He spread my cheeks apart and it was his turn to come undone at the sight.

"My fucking God… " he muttered, biting his lip.

There was no warning. I gasped out a terribly wanton noise as he buried his fingers in me once more.

He almost immediately pressed into the spot he'd been hitting before and I quickly found myself panting and whimpering in rhythm with his thrusting. I had already been so close, but he didn't know that.

"Oh… wha-…h-how…Hid...an..." My voice came out soft but wanting and almost confused . I felt like I was barreling towards the finish line far faster than what should have been possible.

"Something wrong, baby?" he asked, not breaking rhythm as he tore his fixated gaze away from what he was doing to me in order to meet my hardly open eyes.

There was no doubt my face was a needy, desperate mess.

His head lolled back, brows knitting deeply at the sight of me, his lips parting with a noisy breath.

"Hidan… t-there...don't stop… p-please ..."

I sounded desperate and urgent. I didn't have to tell him I was about to come for him to understand.

"Wh-what? Fuck, already?!" He seemed shocked but at the same time, he did not disregard my request. In fact, he seemed to pump even harder, even faster.

"S-sorry… please… d-don't s- ah… s-stop," I pleaded, unable to feel any part of me other than the sparking between my legs each time he rammed into me.

He produced an animalistic, lusting growl deep within his throat. I felt like I was melting into the bed.

"Oh baby girl, don't you ever be fucking sorry. Not for this. I'm not fucking stopping until you come all over my fingers. Let it out, sweetheart. Come for me, baby. Come," he begged, pumping feverishly still.

That was it for me. I clenched around him and heard him groan under his breath as a keening cry erupted from me. I buried my face in the blankets when I realized how loud it was and that I couldn't hold it in.

"That's it baby. Keep going, I'm not fucking stopping, I know you've got more in you... you're wound so fucking tight, sweetheart."

I couldn't believe how long it was lasting. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.

Every time I felt like it should have been the end, he'd hit that spot again and just keep extending it out. It felt like I was riding this never-ending wave that kept crashing and crashing but never hit shore.

"You still coming, baby?" Hidan asked, almost incredulously. My entire body was tense and shaking uncontrollably.

I nodded and whined his name through shallow breaths into the blankets.

"Holy fuck… I fucking... said I'd take care of you, baby girl… shit... just imagine if it were my cock in this tight pussy..."

I couldn't respond. I couldn't do anything but feel him. I'd become completely non-verbal with no control over any of the unintelligible noises coming out of me.

"God, you fucking needed this, you're coming all over my hand, sweetheart… so fucking sexy..."

I couldn't tell what was keeping me going, his strong, sizable fingers skillfully slamming into me or the things he was saying. Maybe both.

Definitely both.

"Mm, that's my girl… you're almost there, baby, I can fucking feel it… just relax into it. I got you, sweetheart, I got you..." Hidan coaxed, tightening his hold around my hip as he continued pounding against me for the final stretch.

He could tell when I'd reached my limit, such was his talent.

As requested, I let my body slump entirely on his arm which still held my ass in the air, nothing left in me to assist in keeping it up. Sporadic shivers pulsed through my body as he slowed his pumping before stilling entirely with one last full push, all the way to his knuckles.

This drew a long, satisfied sigh from my panting, parted lips.

"Good girl… such a good girl," Hidan whispered breathlessly.

He pulled his fingers out at a slow, languid pace marked by several praiseful curses, all while lowering me back onto the bed. I could barely move, my body in some sort of euphoric stasis. I managed to turn my head and crack an eye open to see Hidan.

He was casually taking the same fingers that were just inside me into his mouth as his other hand worked to lazily untie the bindings around my wrists.

There under the flickering, amber glow of the flame, in all of his unapologetic, lewd glory… soaking fingers in mouth, erection nearly tearing out of his pants, no shirt, eyes-half lidded… I felt so absurdly warm in my chest as I took him in.

He looked so content, so in his element. It made me realize that maybe... I was his element. One of them anyway. Hidan was good at a lot of things but people wasn't one of them. He was good at me though, I'd come to find out.

Really good.

Not even just sexually, though I couldn't deny the man had an effect on me... In what seemed like such a short time, he'd become my biggest support. It was so odd to think about how we started out.

Back then I was just 'bitch' said with a sneer. Now I was 'sweetheart' and 'baby girl' said with… well I wasn't about to use the L word with where it had gotten me previously. But yes. It felt like that, anyway.

I wanted to be good at him too.

He caught me staring and flashed me a smile. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

I melted further into the bed.

Notes:

So I still need some more time before I get back to regular updates but man, I just had to post this for you guys :3

MAYBE I'VE MISSED Y'ALL JUST A LITTLE.

I'm not sure if I should be apologizing for this Hidan dump but like... it is what it is... I don't subscribe to the whole 'Hidan is a devout virgin' theory. There is just no way he's not pure, dripping sex.

Anyway... I hope you enjoyed :) As always, thank you for reading and the support. Comments and kudos breathe life into this old husk of a body so if you got 'em, hit me

Chapter 36: Sweet and Sour

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Baby girl…I didn't break you, did I?" He asked with an amused expression, tugging at the belt and releasing my wrists.

I must have zoned out on him.

Despite being freed, I still just kept my arms where they were, moving wasn't something I felt like doing yet.

"Define 'break'," I murmured.

He grinned and pulled at my shoulder to flip me onto my back. He was leaning over me in an instant.

"Give me this. You're fucking insane," he murmured against my lips before capturing them.

'This' being my mouth apparently. I gladly gave it to him.

A few residual moans escaped me as he deepened the kiss. He devoured them happily.

"Where do you get off calling me insane?" I asked when we eventually broke.

Clearly it was the other way around.

"Hm, probably because you got off on me for over two fucking minutes straight. That's fucking where and that's fucking insa- ."

He was speaking but I wanted him to be kissing me again.

It was incentive enough for my body to move once more. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulled him down against me, relishing the feel of his hot chest against my own bare flesh and his lips against mine.

He hummed approvingly into it, biting my lip and sucking on it as he pulled away.

"No," I breathed out, pulling him back down, "Not yet, please..."

"Mm, so polite…" he said, before appeasing me without a fight. I couldn't get enough, sighing into him with a borderline absurd neediness.

His hands were all over me, grabbing and squeezing my hips, my breasts, my neck. That last one finally made me break the kiss with a gasping breath, his name falling off the end of it.

"Izumi…" he parrotted me as he always did when I scolded him but this time it was heady and breathless.

"Sorry, I… I've just been wanting to kiss you all day," I admitted sheepishly.

"Must be nice. I've been wanting to kiss you for a lot longer than that," he grinned.

I wasn't expecting that from him, I could only smile back and endure the fluttering feeling in my belly.

He had shifted his weight to be largely over me and I could feel his hardness struggling against his pants, poking into my leg.

"Aren't you going to… take care of that?" I asked quietly.

He snorted. "I'm trying to be a fucking gentleman about it for your damn birthday, tonight's about you , but fuck you for making it hard."

"Pun intended?" I asked.

"Oh, pun fully fucking intended, baby." He smirked, biting his lip.

God, he was gorgeous.

"What does being a gentleman have to do with it? I think you've been perfectly generous this evening."

"Mm, is that right?" He asked, coming down to bite my neck playfully.

"Mhmm… I wouldn't mind, you know. If you were… generous to yourself," I said quietly.

He propped himself over me on his elbows, brushing the bangs out of my eyes. I had to admit, it felt quite natural to be under him. It was… nice.

"Generous to myself, huh? And what exactly would that involve?" He asked, clearly trying to get me to say something that would surely sound odd coming out of my mouth.

I deadpanned. "Well, I would imagine your hand, for starters."

This had Hidan snorting out a laugh and I was just pleased to have a front row seat, he had one of those contagious laughs, and, as odd as it sounds, beautiful teeth.

"Careful with that smartass mouth of yours," he said quietly, though still with a coy edge. "Gonna fucking tempt me to put something in it."

I chuffed. "Pfft, oh yeah? Like what?" I asked, thinking that was a pretty vague and silly threat.

He was laughing again. Hard. When he finally settled down, he still looked way too amused.

"Oh, sweetheart..." he said with a residual smirk, shaking his head. Looking at me thoughtfully, he brushed a hand through my hair as he took a deep breath.

"...I am going to ruin you."

It was an odd sentence to be said so lovingly. I wouldn't deny it stirred something in me.

"Mm, I don't even know what to fucking do with you sometimes," he murmured.

"Well, you should be thinking about what you're going to do with yourself ," I said teasingly, clearly feeling my oats in my post-orgasmic state, and pushing my thigh up into his erection.

He raised a brow and hummed approvingly. "You're pretty fucking insistent, hm? Starting to feel like I'll offend you if I don't…"

"Oh yes, it would be unforgivable," I agreed, gravely serious.

"Well fuck, I wouldn't want that," he said, feigning concern and rolling onto his back.

I shifted onto my side towards him and didn't even realize I was biting my lip in anticipation as I watched him stroke over the bulge through his pants. He wasted no time in pulling himself out.

I could feel myself getting worked up again at the sight of him sighing and closing his eyes as his hand wrapped around his length.

He was an impressive man.

"Um… Is there… anything I can do to help?" I asked, despite being afraid to.

He was already pumping himself when he looked over at me, halting a bit. I could tell he was at odds with himself before finally answering.

"Don't worry about me, baby girl. I can take care of it. Trust me... I won't be long."

I watched as he closed his eyes again and resumed his previous speed.

"Mm…" he was making these small little groans and biting his lip. It was hard to look away.

"I'm thinking about you, ya know…" he broke the silence, though his eyes were still closed and he didn't lose pace.

"W-what?" I asked quietly.

"Thinking about bending you over this fucking bed, spreading those little legs open…mm the way they shake when you fucking want it..."

He was stroking himself even faster.

"Lining this cock up, rubbing it against your clit first just to tease you. I wouldn't put it in right away. No, sweetheart, I'd wait until you were fucking begging for it."

I found my breath audibly catching in my throat just listening to him. Part of me felt like begging for it right then.

"Forcing this cock into your pink little pussy… God is it fucking tight… ugh, and this cock is a big one, baby girl, I don't know how it's even going to fit… I have a feeling I'm gonna have to make it fucking fit, sweetheart." His voice was low and increasingly breathy as he continued to work himself over.

His brows knitted even more tightly as he imagined it. "Oh, but you'll fucking take me, you'll take all of me, baby. I know you're a good girl."

"Hidan..." I breathed. I felt like I was just an audience member to his inner dialogue. It was a lot more interesting than mine, that's for sure.

"Mm, baby I love when you say my fucking name." He squeezed himself harder and bit his lip.

"Please, let me help…" I pleaded.

He cracked an eye open to look at me. "So fucking polite with the 'please'… you really are a good girl. You sure you want to help, sweetheart?"

"Mhm," I whined.

"Fuck it then, give me your hand," he said, suddenly stopping the hurried frenzy of his right hand.

"Look at this tiny fucking thing," he said, taking my hand into his. His hands were huge comparatively and I'd always thought they were rather nice to look at, as far as hands go.

"Goddamn, I wonder if you'll even be able to touch your fucking fingers together when you grab me..." he mused, clearly not thinking I could. He seemed to like the thought of this.

He was leading my hand over to find out. I found myself breathing heavily, nervous beyond belief, having never touched a man before. Not like this.

"Go ahead, baby girl," he said, letting go of my hand and staring down at himself expectantly.

I glanced at him, uncertain. It was like there was a wall of nervousness freezing me in place.

"Just wrap those little fingers around my cock, sweetheart, that's it. I'll take care of the rest," he assured, eyebrows knitted like the anticipation was physically paining him.

Seeing him like that, seeing that he wanted it so bad, that I had something I could give him to ease the building tension… it was a strangely delightful, powerful feeling.

I swallowed and nodded. After a deep breath, I mustered the courage.

His hips pushed up as soon as my fingers closed around it and I could feel the hot throb of it twitching in my grip.

I let out a small, breathy noise, not just at the feel of him but at the sound he made. It sounded like it came from his chest, it was such a deep thrum.

"Holy shit, baby," he said, his hand coming to grip atop mine.

Hidan was correct in his assumption that my fingers may not even be able to touch each other.

"Oh fuck, I'm so close already... you got me so fucking hard from playing with that fucking pussy of yours, sweetheart… Couldn't stop imagining my fucking cock buried in it."

I couldn't help but begin to breathe a little more heavily just listening to him. He was vulgar and outright deviant, but he was just so confident in all of it, it sent a wave of heat to tighten between my legs.

"God… the way you came all over my hand baby girl… that was… oh fuck… "

He bit his lip and began stroking faster but also more erratically, my hand still beneath his. I watched in awe as his face moved and contorted, biting lip, furrowing brow.

"Mm, squeeze it tight baby, I'm about to fucking come," he said through his teeth, voice strained.

I squeezed harder.

"Fuck, baby girl… make me come," he gritted out. "Be my good girl, make me come, sweetheart…God… fuck…"

Our pace quickened and his hand squeezed around mine even tighter as the most intoxicating noises came out of him. I watched the muscles in his stomach twitch and contract as the discordant streams of white liquid shot onto them.

A string of cussing mixed with pet names ground out of him as he came and I lost my breath at the sight.

I felt compelled to press my body against his side, using my free hand to comb through his hair. As soon as he realized I had shifted to be against him, his left arm wrapped around to pull me there even tighter.

He took a moment to catch his breath before releasing my hand. He had me keep it around him for a moment though, just to admire the fact that I couldn't fully grip him. He seemed to enjoy that quite a bit.

Just what his ego needed...

He cleaned himself up with his boxers and threw them on the floor before rolling on his side to face me. He bumped his forehead against mine and raked his fingers from the nape of my neck up through my hair, grasping it tightly at the back of my head to hold me in place there.

He breathed in deeply and exhaled, thick with relief. His eyes were closed.

"God… you make everything so quiet…" he murmured.

The way he said it made me think that was a good thing. Hidan said all sorts of odd things to me, but this one had me the most perplexed.

"What do you mean?"

"Hm? Oh... don't worry about it. Fuck, I'm just talking nonsense," he muttered. His grip was getting looser and I could hear the sleep in his voice.

That was quick .

"Hidan?" I asked quietly.

"Hm?"

I was nervous to ask, that nagging fear of rejection eating at me despite the man holding onto me like I was his only source of oxygen.

"A-are you… will you stay?"

"Stay the night? With you? In this tiny, sorry excuse for a damn bed? Hmm, let me think about it, fucking yes ."

I smiled and draped my arm around him, lightly caressing and scratching at his back. He made a satisfied, sleepy noise that made me think he liked it. His hand was no longer gripping my hair at all, but rather just laying loosely entangled in my messy locks.

The way he was breathing led me to believe he was either asleep or almost there. I only had a small window to ask one more nagging question.

"Hidan…?"

He grunted.

"You won't leave…?" I felt clingy, but I had to ask.

"Mm mm… fucking stuck with me…" he grumbled.

He was actually adorable when he was sleepy. I inched my body down to lay my head against his chest. His arm seemed to automatically fall down to my back and pull me securely against him.

God, it was like he was made of warmth. I supposed it was too late to put a shirt on.

"Mm… so quiet…" he said, barely intelligible.

I wasn't far behind him, my lids lulling against his radiating heat.

Despite being wrapped around Hidan with his arm protectively draped over me in the real world, these things seemed to offer no protection from the violent sleep that plagued me. I tried desperately to take control and enter a lucid state, but it seemed impossible.

My mom was there again and I'd been so happy to see her at first until I noticed her eyes were missing. Just empty gaping holes staring back at me. She was trying to pass me a handful of bones.

It went on for far too long.

I awoke with a start, jolting upright and clutching at the blankets. My heart rate seemed like it was trying to outdo my quickened breaths.

"Hidan…" I whispered.

There was no answer.

The lantern light had gone out and the room was pitch black. I felt cold.

I pulled the blanket up over my chest and reached out to my sides, catching nothing but air and stillness.

I grabbed at my own body and stomach which felt like it turned to lead and dropped through me. I had hoped to find Hidan's hand holding me against him from behind, but I should have known from my full-body chill that I wouldn't find such a thing.

He wasn't there and he hadn't been for a while.

Deja vu.

I felt the bed all around me. It was a small bed, we had been squished together on it to begin with. I would have known if he were next to me without even feeling.

But some irrational part of me still needed to check. I was patting the blankets frantically on each side of me, my breathing shallowing the more I searched without success.

Just me. No Hidan.

Not again .

It was amazing how quickly the tears came. I clutched at myself, holding on by the shoulders as I rocked for a moment, absorbing my fears playing out in real-time.

"Why this again…What's wrong with me?" I cried quietly to myself, the pit in my stomach feeling like it was growing large enough to suck me in.

I hated the way the strained sob I'd been holding back leaked out of me. I felt so pathetic.

"Hmm… Baby?" Hidan's groggy voice startled me. It sounded like it came from… the floor?

"Hidan?" I squeezed out, my voice tight and shaky.

Before I could tell him not to, the lantern was lit again from his crouched position on the floor. I clutched the blanket against my chest.

He looked up at me, absolutely bewildered.

"The fuck? What's wrong?" Hidan asked, quickly standing over the bed and taking my face in his hands. I let my head fall forward to hide my stupid face. My hands wrapped around his wrists and I let out a shaking, catching sigh of relief.

"Hey, talk to me," he said, partially coated in sleep and confusion.

I let my forehead hit against his torso, breathing in and out sporadically.

"I thought you left…" I said weakly through tears.

"Wh-what? Why the fuck would I do that?" He asked incredulously, pulling my head tight against him, smoothing my hair down. "I fucking told you I'd stay, didn't I?"

"I don't know…" I said. That was a lie.

Hidan was silent for a moment.

"I'm serious, Izumi... Where the fuck is all this coming from? Did you think I was fucking lying?"

I shook my head with a helpless shrug. I didn't want to get into it, I knew I couldn't explain it without bringing up what happened with Itachi and I didn't want to do that.

"You thought I was sick of you already earlier, now you thought I'd leave you in the middle of the night?"

He paused and winced like he'd heard a loud noise, but the room was silent.

When he spoke again, there was a certain twinge of pain in his voice that ate at me. It sounded so foreign coming from him, but at the same time, not at all because hurt on him sounded very much like anger, and I'd certainly heard that before.

I suppose I just wasn't used to it anymore.

"Is that... really what you fucking think of me? Is this the low bar you've set for me in your head?"

His arms fell away from me and he stepped back, staring down at me through a mask of frustration.

I had hurt him. And from the sound of it, badly. I hadn't considered that he'd take my irrational fears on a personal level.

"No... no, it's not that," I assured him, reaching out and trying to pull him back onto the bed.

He didn't come. He winced again and yanked out of my grip, crossing his arms, continuing to regard me.

"No. Not until you fucking tell me what's going on with you. I'm not doing this shit."

Geez, didn't take you long to screw this one up.

I couldn't seem to stop screwing things up. At least I knew what I did this time.

The sternness set in his tone and face made me want to shrink into myself, feeling disgustingly shameful. I had never intended for my own insecurities to come off as a reflection of him.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered through my fingers, my shoulders beginning to shake again. My hands slid up to cover the rest of my face. I could feel the hyper-ventilation starting to set in.

Why are you like this?

I'd made him upset, actually hurt his feelings. It was written all over his face.

Feelings. He had feelings and I knew that.

How could I assume he was immune to this? I had felt bad that people thought of Hidan as just, well, Hidan , this impenetrable fortress, an asshole that didn't feel, but I was guilty too apparently.

He'd been nothing but overwhelmingly sweet and kind to me as of late and he didn't deserve to take on my baggage as his own with no explanation. I felt so horrified with myself and wanted to stop crying.

Wanted to, but couldn't. I wasn't the victim there and I didn't want to pretend to be. I just couldn't stop it.

"God… Izumi… I fucking... I hate seeing you like this. Just tell me what's wrong so I can fucking fix it. What did I fucking do wrong? What do you fucking need from me to prove to you that I'm not just some piece of shit?" He slipped in and out of frustration and pleading tones but ultimately ended at infuriation once more.

I noticed he had dropped the pet names.

"I'll be fucking real with you, Izumi, I don't know what more I can fucking do. Seems like no matter what, I'm just gonna be a fuck up to you. I am to everyone else, and fuck if I care about that, but I thought you were different ."

His anger was becoming frenzied and I wondered if he'd even be able to listen if I found the ability to communicate properly.

"Th-that's not it! It's… it's com-... complicated…" I said, crying into my hands, feeling like I couldn't even think under the fire of his words.

My palms were clammy and my fingers numb. Breathing was difficult.

I recognized it as a panic attack, the kind Hidan had originally shown me how to get through. He wasn't helping at the moment, however, nor did I feel particularly entitled to his assistance.

"I'm not a fucking idiot, despite what people think. I'm sure I can keep up if you gave me a fucking chance," Hidan spat.

"It's not you !" I cried.

"Then who, Izumi?! Let me fucking guess, the classic 'it's not you, it's me'?! " Hidan boomed. His mouth was stretched taut into a thin line and his nostrils flared as he waited impatiently for an actual explanation.

I flinched. I wasn't used to this look from him, not anymore, not even close.

"Hidan I'm s-sorry… Please s-stop yelling…I c-can't even think," I pleaded through my tears so quietly and unintelligibly I wasn't even sure if he heard me. I sounded pathetic but I didn't even care anymore, I just needed for him to stop for a second.

"Come on, Izumi. You thought I'd be a piece of shit, is this shitty enough for you?" he yelled.

I choked on a sob, desperate to make him understand but his continued shouting was causing my thoughts to scatter further and further.

"No… I didn't think that, I-I don't think that!" I cried desperately.

His skin had taken on a thin sheen of sweat, very much like how he looked when he'd first shown up. The vein in his forehead bulged.

"Then why the fuck do you keep expecting me to fuck up?! Is it because I'm not him?" He bellowed, seething.

Him?

He rushed into another furious question and I tried to keep track of them in my chaotic head.

"Hm? You know, I'm actually fucking trying here," he laughed without humor, "and I'll still never stack up to that fucking 'nice guy' Uchiha. Is that it?"

So that was it.

So even Hidan could feel insecure.

"He wasn't nice!" I cried, twisting my fingers into the sheets. Hidan paused his barrage to stare at me.

He blinked.

"He was… he was not nice. Okay?" I said, defeated, punctuated with another pitiful sob before trying to continue on.

"It's not that you can't compare… it's that I'm worried you will . I'm worried you..." I breathed in shakily, "...you won't want me once you have me...," I paused to choke down the lump in my throat, "I… I'm so sorry… I never wanted to burden you with this…"

Hidan's voice was low and dangerous. His mask of anger was not dissolving like I'd hoped for.

"Izumi… what'd he fucking do?"

I made a pained noise, struggling to find the words. I had a terrible penchant for bottling things up when I was the only victim of the side effects, but I didn't have that luxury now.

"He just… he just left … in the middle of the night." I threw an arm up in the air just to come slapping back down onto my thigh. I stared at the ceiling, unable to make eye contact with Hidan.

"I stayed over… it was my first t-time…I thought he, I don't k-know… I thought he cared about m-me..."

I was so ungodly uncomfortable talking about it. I had no choice but to power through it, choking back my pain.

"But after… h-he said he didn't want me anymore... a-and I was just so scared that I wasn't… that I wouldn't be good enough for y-you either."

No better way to get a guy than to talk about your last lay, am I right?

"I'm s-sorry, it's really not you, Hidan…I just… I didn't expect it then either, so now I-I… I'm scared all the time… I'm so sorry. You're the last person I want to h-hurt…"

I was breaking down horribly and wiping at my face frantically, my eyes and nose leaking like faucets as I tried to explain through all my shaking and crying and hiccuping.

No way would he want me now, but at least he would know it had nothing to do with him...

I dared to look up at him, eyes all red and glossy.

It was an odd expression he wore, something in between rage and pity. I didn't really want his pity, I just didn't want him to think I thought poorly of him.

"I'm so sorry, Hidan…p-please don't yell at me anymore…" I pleaded again, eyes downcast, gripping my shoulders and shaking my head, in disbelief of how badly I had let that escalate.

Hidan dragged an arm across his forehead as he stared down at me, wiping the sweat and digesting what I'd told him. After a moment, his face suddenly dropped. It was like a veil lifted and the anger that had glazed over his eyes dissipated all at once.

"Oh, fuck… oh, sweetheart… I'm an asshole. I'm a fucking asshole. God, come here, come here," he said, his voice steeped in regretful tones all of a sudden, his brows tying together as he climbed into bed and pulled me onto his lap.

I froze up at first, not having recovered from his explosiveness yet.

"No… no, baby, don't be afraid of me… not me," he sounded appalled by the idea, "I didn't know, baby girl. I didn't fucking know, I'm a fucking asshole," he murmured with his chin atop my head, rocking me.

His comfort was not soft or tender, it was fierce and biting and desperate . My back actually cracked as his arms wrapped and flexed around me. He must have heard it because he loosened a bit.

The tension released from me in a wave as I sighed into the feeling of his hand rubbing up and down my back as he held me there.

I grabbed at his back to keep myself there against him.

"There you go, calm down. I got you. You gotta fucking breathe, okay? Breathe with me, sweetheart."

I could do that. I finally felt like I was settling down as I focused on his chest expanding and decompressing.

"You're not... mad at me anymore?" I asked weakly, reigning in my sniffles.

"God… no, no sweetheart. I didn't mean to fucking yell at you like that, baby. I swear I didn't. It just..." he made a straining noise deep in his throat, "...it just got loud for a second… that wasn't me. I don't want to make you fucking cry, baby girl…" He continued rocking me just slightly.

I nodded my head against him and tried to catch my breath, not fully understanding everything he said but feeling comfort from his words regardless.

"I'm right here. I'm not fucking going anywhere, I promise," he assured into my hair, kissing the top of my head.

"You're not?" I asked, just wanting to hear it one more time.

He stretched out, laying on his side, rearranging me to press against him, caged safely in his arms.

"I just got you. I just fucking got you, baby girl. What kind of stupid fucking asshole gives this up?"

Itachi .

We must have both thought it because the next thing out of Hidan's mouth was undoubtedly about him.

"I'll fucking kill him."

"That's a bit extreme..." I discouraged.

"Have you met me?"

Touché.

"Why don't you settle for polite silence around each other?"

"Izumi, I need to make sure I have this straight..."

Ugh, I hated when he'd summarize my words into his own blunt terms. It always sounded so much worse like that.

"You're telling me Uchiha fucked you, knew you were a fucking virgin, and then just fucking kicked you out?"

I cringed.

"I mean, not exactly ..."

"Then what, exactly?"

I groaned at the thought of needing to explain further. He waited impatiently.

"He was kind, that night... He let me fall asleep there, but… I woke up on the couch. He must have moved me. I thought maybe he was just being… shy about it? Didn't want to let on, you know?"

My voice was tight as I recalled the recent memory. Hidan regarded me with a furrowed brow.

"Are… you sure you really want to hear about this?" I asked, thinking how it might be uncomfortable for him.

"You bet your fucking ass I do. All I ever hear about is how great that little prick is. Lay it on me, sweetheart."

Even through my tears I couldn't help but give him a little sideways smile.

"Well then you'll love this," I mumbled. "I was supposed to see him the next morning but he didn't show up. I had to find him and he… it was like he didn't even have time for me. We spoke about it twice and between them he told me that… it didn't mean anything to him and that I wasn't… any good at it."

"He fucking said what ?"

"I think that's what he meant, anyway… he said I..."

That lump was back. I swallowed it.

"God, I can't even say it… he said it was a... 'a cute attempt'..." I managed to get out, wiping the tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. It was beyond embarrassing to recall.

Guess Hidan knows what he has to look forward to now.

Hidan made a disgusted noise and squeezed me tighter. "For fuck's sake… no wonder you're so fucking timid."

He looked down at me, grabbing my chin. "Hey. You know that's fucked, right? You could just fucking lay there and I would have the time of my life. I could fuck your corpse and be thrilled."

"Oh my God, Hidan!" I cried with an incredulous, horrified laugh.

"What? It's not like I'd wait for it to get cold or anything," he said, grinning.

"You're unbelievable."

"Relax, I'm just kidding… I'd totally fuck it cold."

" Hidan !"

He amused himself to no end. He amused me to no end too, but I couldn't possibly let him know that. I wasn't sure how he did it, I could go from crying to laughing with him in a matter of seconds.

"Yeah so, to be serious for a second though, as much as it fucking pains me…I won't pretend I'm not chuffed as hell that he fucked up because it's the whole reason I'm the one in your bed grabbing your ass right now."

"You're not grabbing my ass…" I pointed out flatly.

"Mm, good point. I thought you'd never ask."

He grabbed my ass and I attempted to scold him without success.

"Like I was saying… I'm glad the asshole showed his true colors, but... God, I hate how it fucked with your head, sweetheart." He murmured against my forehead before planting a kiss.

"I'm okay, Hidan," I said softly, petting my hands across his chest.

"Shut the fuck up with that, you're not ," he blurted out, exasperated.

He went on. "I woke up to you fucking sobbing in the middle of the night because you thought I abandoned you since some prick got it in your head that you're not fucking good enough, when you're actually better than all of us combined. Fuck that. Fuck that guy."

"Hidan…" I whispered, not really sure what to say. It was kind of cute that he felt so protective of me, even if I didn't feel the same anger towards Itachi.

"Hey, look at me," he said, pulling back to grab my chin. "You're not okay, sweetheart. You don't fucking need to be okay. I need you to scrub that shit out of your brain. I'm here, either fucking way."

I almost started crying again from how sweet he was in his own way.

He wasn't done. "And just so you know, after hearing all that , 'polite silence' isn't gonna fucking cut it."

He looked scary angry. It wasn't his usual kind that was bold and shouting and unmistakable. No, this was something else. It was beneath the surface, I could see gears turning.

"Please Hidan, don't do anything. Don't say anything. I don't want there to be any fighting. Itachi and I just got to a place that is kind of... okay. Professional."

"Ugh, your fucking pacifist tendencies are really killing my vibe… fine. I won't kill him, how about that?"

That was the best I was going to get. I sighed. He sighed too.

"You should go back to bed, sweetheart. Got a big day ahead of you." He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Okay… Um, Hidan?"

"Hm?"

"Why were you on the floor?"

He snorted.

"You fucking kicked me off. Like, literally."

" No , no way," I said, incredulous. It had to be one of his tall tales.

"I'm serious. I don't know what you were fighting in your dreams there, sweetheart, but I was getting my fucking ass kicked."

"Oh my God, that's horrible! You should have woken me up!" I cried.

"Nah, didn't wanna do that," he said casually with a sniff.

"You have your own bed, you didn't have to sleep on the floor. You could have just told me." I persisted.

"Nah, didn't wanna leave you."

I kissed him. There was no other option. He was just too much, my heart felt like it was going to burst if I didn't just kiss him.

After several promises that I wouldn't vault him off the bed, we drifted off again. I wasn't entirely sure I should be making such assurances, but I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms, so it was a necessary fib. It had been a long, emotional night.

The nightmares did not return, thank goodness.

Not only that, but Hidan was there when I awoke. He was the opposite of me, large and sprawled out across the too-small bed, whereas I was tucked against his side, small and compact with my cheek on his chest and my leg over his thigh.

Now that I'd rested and fallen out of the heat of the moment, I felt a flash of embarrassment at my topless state. On the other hand though, I couldn't put into words how nice the skin on skin contact felt, his arm and hand were exceptionally warm draped over me, loosely holding me against him.

I tilted my head back to look up at him. His mouth hung ajar, small tranquil breaths passing through his lips. His hair was a little ruffled, it was cute the way the messy locks fell across his forehead.

I took more than a moment to admire him like this. He looked so peaceful which was not a word I would typically use to describe Hidan.

"There something on my face?" he suddenly grumbled, cracking an eye open to look down at me.

I flashed red and let out a quick 'no' with the shake of my head.

"Hm, then what the fuck are you looking at, if you don't mind me asking?" he teased.

"I just… like the way you look," I admitted awkwardly.

He smirked. As if he needed the confidence boost. But it was the truth. I had decided I needed to learn from Hidan and be more up front with my thoughts. Maybe not as up front, but bottling didn't lead to anything good.

"What a coincidence," he said, brushing my cheek with his thumb, "I like the way I look too."

I snorted. I should have seen that one coming.

"You're an ass," I said, though I couldn't conceal my smile.

He grinned. "Practicing your curse words, sweetheart?"

"Just on you," I said.

"Mm, lucky me," he said, squeezing me against him and planting a kiss into my hair.

"Thanks for staying…" I said quietly, pulling myself into him even more.

"You're fucking thanking me for taking you up on the opportunity to wake up to your tits pressed against me? Yeah, um, sure, you're fucking welcome?" he said with a disbelieving laugh.

"I don't think that's how I phrased the offer, Hidan," I scolded.

"What can I say, I like to read between the legs." He winked.

"You mean 'between the 'lines'," I corrected.

"Yeah, yeah, what'd I say?" he retorted knowingly.

I couldn't help but smile and shake my head.

"There's that smile…" he said, brushing my cheek again, this time without the bonus sarcasm.

"Hey Hidan…?" my smile fell a bit as I contemplated the best way to ask this. "...How is this going to work? Like… in front of everyone else?" I asked nervously.

"How do you want it to work?"

Ugh, he can never just give me an answer.

"I just… I want to avoid drama, at least for today. You know?" I said, overly worried I would put him off if I didn't want to be publicly couply yet. I didn't know how any of it worked but I also knew I would get comments and looks and I just wanted today to be easy.

He feigned looking aghast. " Me ? Cause drama? Izumi, baby, I am fucking offended."

I sighed and gave him a look that said I was being serious.

"Alright, alright. Fuck, I'm gonna have a hard time keeping my hands off you though. But it's cool, it's cool. We're not 'official', I get it. I'm fucking patient. I can fucking wait."

He sounded so sure of something that was almost definitely not true.

"Patient?" I called him out.

"More patient than you," he refuted. My jaw dropped at the audacity.

Oh, heck no.

" Excuse me?"

He rolled his body over me, propping himself on either side with his elbows. "If I recall correctly, and I fucking do, it was you making all sorts of whiny little impatient noises last night."

My mouth just hung open. I couldn't believe he was using that as an example so brazenly. I couldn't even form a retort, my brain and face had become so overheated.

He was smirking, clearly enjoying my lack of response.

"That's right, looks like you remember it well, baby girl. Must be tough to think of a snappy comeback when you know you were doing all you could to rub your hot little pussy against my fingers last night... but they just were not being kind, were they?" he asked with darkening eyes.

He was messing with me. He knew I couldn't respond to stuff like this. I wanted to prove him wrong.

"No, they really weren't," I said as coolly as I could. He cocked his head, smirk growing. That wasn't what he expected.

"Mm… they were just trying to figure out what you liked, sweetheart. What should they have done differently?" he asked, shifting to one side, his hand snaking down my pants and resting there, gently tapping against me in waiting.

I felt my lids become heavy almost instantly as I took in a hitching breath.

Just then a blaring, ringing noise startled me, and Hidan cursed it to hell. I had heard the noise before, but not often. It was used to round up all of the Akatsuki for meetings and such and it ran through the entire complex.

"Fucking hell… guess that's my cue," Hidan groaned. "We'll have to pick this back up later, baby girl," he said, grabbing me roughly between the legs as his lips powered against mine in a kiss that was supposed to last him all day, and boy could I tell he was trying to make it last.

He finally broke away and got up from the bed. He kicked his boxers underneath it. I mentally noted this, I'd have to remember that when I did laundry. He was very obviously halfway hard through his pants but they didn't seem to bother him as he left, tossing a wink in my direction.

An Aside Featuring "the guys" Kisame, Itachi, Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara and Sasori

Kisame slowly paced back and forth in front of the men who were lined up before him; Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, Kakuzu, and Hidan. His hands were folded together behind his back, his posture rigid, chest puffed out.

"Alright gentlemen, listen up, I'm gonna need all of you to use what little attention spans you have right now because this is important. Today is the day. Izumi's birthday," Kisame barked.

"Kisame, is all of this really necessary…?" Itachi interjected quietly, gesturing to their odd militaristic setup to go over birthday plans. Perhaps taking offense to the attention span jab. His attention span was probably the best of everyone's. He would dare to call it immaculate.

"Of course it is! Now pay attention, Uchiha."

Itachi glowered at Kisame which was only a few degrees from nonchalant for him. Kisame smirked but snapped back into his spiel.

"Pain has… apprehensively agreed to give us the day off for this occasion. Though, there were a few conditions I needed to agree to in order to push it through to green light…"

Sasori was getting impatient. "Get on with it, Kisame, we don't have all day."

Kakuzu grunted in agreement.

"Hey. I believe I requested attention spans, no?" Kisame chastised, shaking his head. " Anyway , for today, while we travel and while in the village, we will not be the Akatsuki. We will be… tourists ."

"The fuck does that even mean?" Hidan sneered, folding his arms.

"Well, what that means in general is being incognito. Tourist apparel is to be worn at all times, no obvious chakra use, no visible weapons, certainly no Akatsuki paraphernalia or branded items showing. I know we just got those cute little red cloud keychains, you keep that shit at home." Kisame paused to eye the group, making sure everyone looked to have an understanding.

His eyes trained on Hidan, specifically. "What that means for you specifically is a whooole nother bag of dicks. No murdering, no random howling with laughter, no rituals, no talking about Jashin, no grabbing your junk-"

" Okay , shit, I fucking get it you old fuck," Hidan cut him off with a hearty roll of his eyes.

Kisame scoffed, "I fucking hope so for Izumi's sake." He began tossing balled up articles of clothing at the men as he went down the line.

"I didn't have time for fashion, I was on a tight schedule and just tried to find things that fit," he said in a way that was likely meant to be apologetic but he didn't seem too sorry.

"The hell?" Deidara questioned, unravelling something that looked like a Hawaiian shirt.

Kisame tried to hide his amusement, though not well.

He finished handing out the clothes. "That's right. We're all gonna be nobodies with poor fashion sense. Considering we all basically only have one outfit that we repeatedly wear, this probably isn't far from the actual truth."

Deidara's grimace did not falter. "Where'd you even find this shit?" he asked sourly.

"Honestly, I don't really know. There was a box labelled 'AU' filled with these old clothes in the storage unit. We just gotta work with what we've got, ladies," Kisame said with a shrug.

"I have to wear a fucking shirt?" Hidan balked. "A fucking…what even is this, a polo ?!"

"That's right," Kisame said casually with a sniff, "and you should probably pop the collar to let people know you're a douchebag since your usual ways are banned."

Hidan began spewing threats before Deidara interrupted.

"Why the hell does Uchiha get a nice button-up?!" Deidara fumed as he stood there donning the clearly used, wrinkled red Hawaiian shirt adorned with illustrative palm leaves.

Itachi stood there looking uncomfortable as he buttoned up the shirt and straightened out the sleeves. He did look quite presentable, especially compared to the rest of the crew.

"Listen, guys, we can all get some yukatas or whatever when we get into town, this was all I could get my hands on at such short notice. It was fucking random, alright?" Kisame explained with an exhausted sigh.

Yes, definitely random. Perfectly by chance.

Hidan looked at Itachi and then to Deidara in a rare moment of non-aggression between the two, "Eh, I wouldn't worry about it, Deidara. He still looks like a fucking prick to me."

Deidara snorted out a laugh and glanced over at Itachi who was actively Ignoring Hidan, but anyone looking for the telltale signs of irritation would find them. Clenched jaw, eyes unblinking, focused on his breathing.

Hidan noticed and Hidan enjoyed it. In fact, he wanted more.

He almost pushed it, he had a thousand much more pointed and grating comments he could make. The thought of Itachi having his way with Izumi and then leaving her to shatter was setting his own jaw the clench.

He wanted to fuck with him bad .

But Izumi didn't want drama that day, and anything more to come out of his mouth would absolutely start a shit show. He bit his tongue when it came to Itachi in favor of teasing Kakuzu who stood there looking absurd in an oversized fair isle reindeer and snowflake patterned sweater.

"Shit, Kakuzu. You know, that sweater really brings out your festive eyes." Hidan said, a bit too cheery.

Kakuzu scoffed and itched his arms. "Don't make me fucking kill you in front of Izumi."

Kisame appraised Kakuzu and added his two cents. "Oh I don't know, a little splash of red might be a good accent."

Deidara chimed in, "Probably not great for incognito thou-" He paused abruptly, taking notice of Sasori next to him for the first time since their change of clothes.

"... Sasori, my man… what the fuck do you have on?"

Sasori deadpanned. "Luckily I don't have bodily functions… this seems less than convenient," He said dully, looking down at his floral romper.

"Oh, whoops. That was actually for Izumi," Kisame said with a laugh, scratching his head. "Ah, fuck it. It looks fine on you and she's got that dress."

Sasori sighed deeply.

"What about you? Aren't you gonna look like a dumbass tourist?" Deidara questioned suspiciously.

"Oh yeah, shit I almost forgot," he said, rummaging through a separate bag. Him and Itachi looked like wardrobe twins once he managed to don the outfit, both looking very sharp and sleek.

He put a pair of sunglasses on and shot Deidara with some finger guns.

Hidan's forehead vein was practically bulging out of the skin. "What the fuck, you said it was random! You have that and I have a fucking polo and fucking jorts you dickweed!" He bellowed.

"My guy, looking this good is never random," Kisame said with a grin, totally ignoring the large majority of Hidan's outburst.

Others jumped in and the bickering quickly became a loud cacophony of whiny men ranging from Itachi quietly muttering to himself about how uncomfortable the collar was around his neck to Deidara and Hidan full on howling about their fashion misfortune.

Kisame shouted over everyone, "Settle down children, if you want Izumi to be happy you'll fucking get over it."

And that seemed to be the thing that put everyone in line.

Kisame stared in astonishment. "Holy shit, that actually worked…" he grumbled before clapping his enormous hands once. "Alright, I'll go get the little bugger and we'll head out. Deidara, you have transport lined up, right?"

"Tch, of course I do," he mumbled, annoyed and inspecting what appeared to be a miscellaneous stain on his sleeve.

Kisame disappeared down the hallway leaving the men to compare and contrast their involuntary fashion of the day.

Sasori ended up being quite pleased to find pockets in his romper.

Notes:

Okay, I officially apologize for the Hidan dump. I have no concept of pacing, I just write exactly and literally what I imagine happening which apparently results in 3 full chapters of Izumi x Hidan lmaooo fuck me

BUT

We movin' on. We goin' on a trip. Get your bags packed, y'all.

3 thanks for all the love

Chapter 37: Festival Attire

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I had just finished getting ready which was actually quite a difficult task when it came to that dress. With a little patience and a few tries however, I managed to get it on solo.

I believe this is what they call "personal growth".

There was a knock at the door followed by Kisame's voice.

"Hey kiddo, you ready?"

I whipped the door open, startling him with my speed. Admittedly, I had been ready and waiting.

"Kisame, please. You and I both know I was born ready," I said, whipping out my sunglasses, flicking them open and putting them on, all with only one hand. Now that I had a room, I'd been practicing that in my spare time.

So cool.

Kisame grinned and lifted his own shades to give me a wink.

"That's what I like to hear. Now let's fucking boogie, birthday girl."

I followed behind towards the common area where I assumed everyone was gathered.

"Um, Kisame… not that it looks bad or anything but… what the heck are you wearing?" I asked.

"You like? We've gotta dress as tourists so all of us are wearing weird shit like this… well maybe not like this . You'll see."

"Oh wow…" I said, biting back a wild howl as I turned the corner and saw possibly the dopiest array of fearsome missing-nin in the world. Hidan's jorts, Kakuzu's sparkly reindeer sweater, Deidara's stained tropical shirt, Sasori's floral romper. All of it was far too much to take it and I immediately lost my everloving beans over it despite my genuine attempt not to laugh.

Itachi and Kisame were both looking sleek and cool so I immediately knew Kisame had been in charge of dressing everyone.

"Oh my God… Kisame… this is the best gift... you could have given me," I was nearly crying from laughter and only speaking when I could catch my breath.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up," Deidara pouted, crossing his arms and giving me a look.

Kakuzu looked miserable, Sasori looked bored and ready to go, and Hidan seemed much less irritated than I expected as he locked eyes with me, a little smirk playing on his lips.

"Alright, we've got everyone. Let's move outside," Kisame shouted and we all began following.

I caught up to Hidan.

"I almost didn't recognize you in a shirt," I said coolly.

He leaned down to whisper, "Ditto."

"Hidan!" I hissed, smacking him in the stomach.

"Relax, I'm all discrete and shit," he teased.

"You're something alright."

"You like my new look? I heard sweating your balls off in fucking denim is in this year."

"I'm surprised you're taking it as well as you are," I said.

That was true. I was very surprised, actually.

"Well it put a smile on your face, can't be all bad. I was gonna wear this really cute dress I got recently, but this girl ended up taking it from me," he mused, feigning disappointment.

"Wow, she sounds just awful," I said with a face.

"Yeah, but she's a total babe, so..." he shrugged and gave me a sideways smile. I returned it.

It really was going to be a long day, as excited as I was. There were moments when Hidan would surprise me with his sweetness and my instinctual reaction would just be to kiss him and I couldn't do that now, per my own rule.

What were you thinking ?

I was thinking I didn't want to deal with the drama of Kisame telling me I was making bad decisions and Deidara being all mopey. Itachi obviously wouldn't care and I didn't assume Kakuzu or Sasori would feel any particular way about it, but two dissenting opinions was enough to rain on my parade and I wanted to keep it nice and dry for one whole day, gosh darnit.

We had made our way to the center of the training field. Deidara stepped away from the group and began detailing the plan.

"Aerial will be a bit too obvious with all of us so I'm thinking striders, yeah?" Deidara said, his hands already munching away in his pouches and forming two handfuls of tiny creatures which leapt from his palms and inflated with a chorus of poofs.

They were adorable . I squeaked in delight as they hopped around and began fanning out. There was one for each person and amazingly, they all seemed to know who their rider would be.

"So cute Dei!" I squealed as mine trotted up to me and began nuzzling my hair.

It was something akin to an ostrich as far it's legs went, long and springy, but it's wings were small and clearly meant for maintaining balance, certainly not flying. It had big, curious eyes and a large rounded beak, and it seemed to maintain a slight, giddy bounce at all times.

You better pet that thing right this instant, girl.

But of course. It chirped and trilled as I showered it with an over-abundance of scritches beneath it's chin and through the fluffy little tuft atop it's head. I made a similar noise in response, and we chatted back and forth like this for a moment.

I assumed they would all look about the same but glancing over at Kisame's little guy, it was not nearly as cute as mine. It was larger, but Kisame was larger than me so that made sense. The difference was just that it looked so darn ugly .

It was squat and round with a mean looking expression. It nipped at him as he mounted it. Kisame frowned and seemed to resist punching the thing. He shot Deidara a look.

Deidara smiled and shrugged. "Sorry man, it's just random, yeah?"

"Oi… think there's something fucked with mine," Hidan grumbled, scratching the back of his head and looking at the thing with disdain.

I couldn't accurately describe the laugh that burst out of me if you paid me.

It was like something from another world, an ungodly cacophony that far exceeded any snort-laugh I had ever produced before. Abrupt and sputtering, I absolutely fell apart at the seams at the sight of this creature that, every time Hidan would take a step away from it, it would hobble towards him with a needy little grunt.

His creature was more like a rough draft of mine, emphasis on rough .

It was toad-like in some ways, though still with the long birdish legs. It leaned to one side as one leg was significantly shorter than the other. It's body was lumpy in all the wrong areas and it's eyes, which were too far apart and not even level with each other, blinked off rhythm, one and then the other with a delay in between. There was something dripping from its mouth which hung ajar stupidly and the noise it produced sounded more like a wheezing turtle.

I was dying .

"Oh, sorry. A couple of them must have gotten smushed, yeah. They should still function okay," Deidara said casually, brushing it off as an accident but I could tell by the underlying smirk on his face that it had been quite purposeful. It was quickly turning red from the effort of holding back his laughter and he bit his lip in a last-ditch effort to keep it at bay.

"Hm… looks like I got it's brother," Itachi said blankly, staring at the creature before him. I would have said it was it's identical twin, if not for the oddly deformed appendage sticking out of his side and absently pawing at Itachi.

Tears were streaming down my blotchy, reddened face at that point, and I wasn't the only one.

No, all of us had collectively devolved into a fit of shrieks and howls. Kisame and Deidara were literally doubled over, slapping their knees, Sasori's head thrown back, hand over mouth, and Kakuzu was the most unusual sight of all as his body just shook silently.

Itachi's little guy, still pawing at him, began making an odd sort of grunting noise and rubbing up against him in a desperate plea for attention.

It took us literal minutes to die down. One of us would start up again and trigger the whole crew into laughing, so it was a long, arduous process to calm down.

Itachi stood there stoically as he waited, eventually reaching a hand out to awkwardly pat the thing atop it's head in an effort to get it to stop grunting at him but it only seemed to excite it more. Hidan busied himself by attempting to kick his away but it was a persistent little beast.

"I think… I'm okay to travel on foot," Itachi said as the rest of us began mounting up.

"Same," Hidan agreed.

"Nooo!" I cried, horrified at the thought that I wouldn't be able to see them riding these ridiculous creatures. "We all have to ride!"

"I promise I'll keep up, Izumi," Itachi assured calmly.

I liked that he was saying my name again.

"That's not the point," I whined, looking pleadingly between Itachi and Hidan. "We're supposed to all do it together ."

"No fucking way am I getting on this thing. It already got some sorta slime on my fucking leg." Hidan complained, twitching his leg to shake it off and I choked back another laugh.

Itachi looked to be in despair about what he was about to do.

His mouth pulled into a taut line and he took a moment to close his eyes and exhale heavily from his nostrils.

"Fine…" he conceded before grabbing ahold of his mount and swinging his leg over it.

As Itachi bared his weight onto the thing, it tipped down to one side with a raucous gurgle, it's balance thrown off kilter at first, but it soon righted itself. Each step it took seemed to pain it, but it wobbled along at pace fine enough, dipping sideways every other step.

Kisame and I died all over again at the sight of Itachi Uchiha riding this blundering little abomination. He looked so out of place and out of his element, him being so elegant and composed typically. Now he bobbed around on the thing haphazardly as it let out little belches and other odd noises.

"Hidan… please?" I asked, blinking at him with big eyes. He was the only person not on his critter and he knew it. He looked begrudgingly between it, me and Itachi. Cursing the latter for giving in and making him look like the jerk.

"Goddamnit Izumi," he grumbled something about how I better appreciate this as he, too, sank onto the wheezing creature. It seemed to spit something sticky up as it decompressed under his weight, but like Itachi's, it straightened out, shimmied a bit, and lurched forward.

"Alright, everyone good to go, yeah?" Deidara asked. I noticed his mount looked a bit buffer, a bit more studly than the rest.

"Hey Dei, did you make mine the cutest?" I asked as I hugged the thing tightly around the neck, evoking a happy little warble from it.

"Of course. The cutest for the cutest," he said with a grin and let out a whistle causing all of the creatures bolted up into the treetops at once.

For the first five minutes I could do nothing but swell and giggle at the feeling of flying through the branches. It was such an incredible rush. I also couldn't help but steal glimpses of the guys behind me.

Itachi looked miserable at worst, blank at best, though there were snapshots of an upturned lip at times when he would glance over and our gazes would meet by chance. It made me suspect maybe he didn't hate it as much as he let on.

He was finding enjoyment in something at least.

Hidan only hated it. He bounced around on the thing not even holding on, his arms permanently crossed over his chest as some sort of silent protest, like he would only touch it the least amount humanly possible, and even then, only to appease me.

While it was hands down one of the most hilarious things I had ever seen, the whole thing had me feeling terribly uncomfortable and confused as I was having an increasingly difficult time reconciling the fact that I had kissed Hidan and then some... and while I was admittedly very fond of him, syphoning a small smile from Itachi was still something I chased for a high, despite his admitted lack of affection toward me.

Maybe that made it alright though... knowing he would never return my feelings, would it be so awful to continue that pursuit from time to time? It was just a smile. It was the most I'd ever get from him.

I only wanted to see it. Would that really be the worst thing?

It certainly didn't take away my feelings for Hidan, they were more than alive and well. I just couldn't seem to squash them for Itachi despite every awful thing he'd said to me. They weren't enough to undo the fondness I'd already built from all the kindness he'd poured into me before.

I had a lot to think about on our journey through the treetops. Not all of it was pleasant. I found myself dwelling on Orochimaru a lot… and if I was his daughter. Something about the thought made me sick.

I tried to keep myself distracted.

Over the course of the trip we all named our creatures, and by we and I mean I named all our creatures, mine being String Bean. Itachi's was Goose because of the strained honking noise it began making about halfway through. Hidan's was Sticky Buns, inspired by whatever was leaking out of him. Then we had Kisame on Blorp, Sasori on Mlem, Deidara on Chad, and Kakuzu on Sprinkle.

Deidara discouraged me from naming them since they would inevitably explode, but I couldn't help myself.

It was afternoon by the time we arrived in the smallish village. We all came to a halt in the forest just outside it and stretched as we dismounted our delightful little creatures.

"Alright, everyone say goodbye to your little friends," Deidara instructed.

I frowned, throwing my arms around String Bean in a tight hug. It chirped in response which just made me frown more.

"Do you have to, Dei?" I pouted.

"Aw, come on, Izumi. You knew this was going to happen. I told you not to name them," he whined.

Hidan kicked his away from him as it clamored for his attention. "Well mine can fuck right off."

Deidara studied Hidan and the beast, tapping his finger against his chin. "Why don't you hold onto him actually. I wonder how many pieces you'll blow into. Care to make bets, yeah?"

"Not enough," Kakuzu commented, climbing off his birdie and shoving it away from him.

Hidan chuffed. "Ya know I do feel pain, getting fucking blown up sounds shitty. I'll pass. Besides, it would ruin this totally rockin' outfit."

"Yes, what a shame that would be," I teased.

"Oh, so you want it to get ruined? This all part of your master plan to finally get me naked?" He teased harder.

I flushed and sputtered for a comeback.

"Well on that note," Deidara interrupted, saving me from further conversation regarding Hidan being naked. At least he'd implied I hadn't already witnessed such a sight…

A true gentleman .

"Back the hell up, everyone," Deidara commanded with a grin and we all stepped behind him.

The creatures suddenly began performing some rather daring feats of acrobatics. Jumping and leaping onto one another, forming pyramids and towers and whimsical, wobbling structures. One by one throughout the routine, they launched into the air, exploding into a shower of sparkling bright lights.

I was genuinely quite the show.

String Bean was the last to go and also the only one that rained down in a brilliantly multi-colored shock of light.

I looked on, absolutely dazzled. I was also the only one clapping at the end.

Deidara smiled at me. "Was that a suitable death for Strong Beans or whatever?"

"It's String Bean … and yes, it was very artfully done. I loved it," I gushed, throwing my arms around his torso. He immediately caged me against him in a hug that had us rocking from side to side before he let me go, looking down at me with a satisfied little smile.

"Alright guys, Izumi's already seen the coolest thing she's going to today so we may as well head back," Deidara said, only to be received by booing and getting shoved by Sasori.

We made our way to the village entrance and my jaw dropped .

"Holy shit, must be a festival going on today," Kisame noted.

There were so many people and all sorts of pop-up shops littering the streets. Some sold food, the air so thick with the mingling scents that I was practically full from the smell alone. Others were games of luck and skill and many others offered a variety of trinkets, goodies and services ranging from kites that looked like colorful dragons, to palm and tarot readings.

I wanted to do it all .

I think Itachi could see it in my eyes, all big and round and sparkling, because he quickly stepped next to me and asked that I "please stay close" in a voice that told me he was worried I wouldn't be able to follow the simple rule.

Always with his rules…

Kisame agreed. "Yeah kid, this is not the place for you to get separated from us."

"But of course, Kisame-sama," I smiled at him sweetly and grabbed his hand.

"Aw, now you're just trying to butter me up so I get you something really good for your birthday," he said as he began pulling me along at his side. And I had thought my hand felt small compared to Hidan… Kisame's hands were freaking enormous.

I did not deny his accusation.

We squeezed tightly through the crowd, my head practically on a swivel in my wide-eyed attempt to take in all the sights, sounds and smells.

There were flashes of color all around me, people of all types wearing stunning yukatas, a pair of children chasing each other donning stark red and white kitsune masks, brightly lit lanterns in the shape of fish stringing in a winding back and forth above us all the way down the main strip.

We were in a sea of people laughing and happy and I, myself, couldn't wipe the silly grin off my face. I'd never seen anything like it.

"So, what do you wanna do first, Iz?" Kisame asked.

How about feel overwhelmed?

I didn't even fully understand what my options were. There seemed to be something fun to do or see or eat everywhere I looked.

Deidara ran ahead, pushing his way through the crowd, shouting back over his shoulder. "I'm getting out of these fucking clothes!" he shouted, pointing at a shop ahead of us that had a variety of yukatas displayed just inside.

Kisame sighed deeply, "Guess we should follow him." He motioned for everyone behind to follow into the shop. I was thankful to not have to make a decision.

The group of men all filing into the little shop looked comically large in the dimly lit, intimate space. A light, relaxing tune played in the background and the shopkeeper who probably should have been terrified by the group of gruff men in questionable attire walked right over. A sweet old woman with a smile that seemed to be her default resting face.

"Ah, I see you fine gentlemen are in desperate need of my help," she said, eyeing them all once over and even pushing some of them around a bit so she could get a better idea of their dimensions.

I stifled a giggle as some of the guys grumbled and others looked uncomfortable. It had probably been a long time since any of them had any occasion to get fitted for something like this. I also fell into this category.

"Oi lady, I know I'm irresistible and shit but I usually charge for that," Hidan said as she grabbed him by the waist to straighten him out before her, her beady eyes behind thick-lensed glasses traveling up and down him.

She let out a cackle at his comment. "Ah, to be young and arrogant. We'll get you into something suitable yet," she said.

Hidan scoffed and began muttering something rude under his breath until he noticed the look I was giving him.

" Be nice ," I mouthed with a pleading look. He rolled his eyes but ultimately didn't fly off the handle.

Crisis averted.

The shopkeeper moved onto Kisame. "My, you are a big boy…" she said, practically marvelling as she squinted up at him.

"Keh… lady, you have no idea," he grinned.

I slapped my palm against my face.

These guys were so freaking embarrassing sometimes. They couldn't seem to resist making dick jokes, even to this little old lady that looked like the personification of a worn shoe.

She faffed about, muttering to herself, taking measurements and rummaging through racks until she had something picked out for each of them.

"Alright, now this is what I'm talking about, yeah?" Deidara said, admiring himself in the mirror. He had on a beautiful sky blue yukata with a simple pattern of clouds and soaring white birds flitting across it, a red wrap tying around his waist.

"Oh Dei, it's perfect for you," I admired. "Has it been a long time since you've worn one?"

He laughed like that was an understatement. "Heh, God, it's probably been since I was a kid," he said, scratching his head, trying to remember.

"Hm, that looks good on you," Sasori stated, a rare compliment from the dusty redhead.

"Not bad yourself, yeah?" Deidara said, eyeing his partner adorned in maroon. The pattern was checkered between maroon and a darker shade of it. It was simple and elegant on his slight form, the black sash tying in his waist made him look even slighter. Sasori truly was a very beautiful man… puppet...

"Okay, yeah, but you guys ain't got nothing on me," Kisame said, flexing unnecessarily. He wore a striking navy yukata with stark white koi swimming through waves printed across it. "God, it's been a damn minute since I've worn one of these."

"Seriously, man," Deidara agreed.

"Mm, it's probably been almost 25 years for me," Sasori chimed in lightly, staring distantly at himself in the mirror. I noticed Kisame and Deidara looking at themselves in a similar way.

Kakuzu was the next to appear from behind the 4-panel shoji screen. He was stiff and awkward and just the cutest freaking thing in his deep green yukata adorned with an understated, dark floral print.

"Oh, Kakuzu," I began to fawn.

"Stop."

"Oh, you look so handsome," I gushed, ignoring his request and patting a couple wrinkles out of the long breast collar. I was so glad I had taken the time to do his hair that morning, he looked like such a gentleman all put together like that.

"Izumi," he warned.

"Doesn't he?" the old woman chimed in, staring at him with a swoon. I did terribly in suppressing a giggle. It was too cute.

"Ohh, if I were just a bit younger…" she began going on about him being the nicest catch of the day. And there I was thinking that phrase was only suitable for Kisame.

She disappeared behind the partition once more.

I smiled up at Kakuzu and patted down another wrinkle. He just sighed and looked at the ceiling.

"I think you're actually older than her… feel like being charitable to a kind old woman, Kakuzu? Looks like she could use a date, I bet she'd show you a good time," I murmured to him with a hum.

The taught line of his lips twitched up just a bit for a split second. He was so dead set on not letting me know he was entertained, but I knew better.

"Hidan is a bad influence on you," was all he had to say.

Speak of the devil. Hidan sauntered out and immediately took note of my hands on Kakuzu's chest. "Oi, me next," he said with a grin.

The old shopkeep came sputtering out behind him in a huff. "I told you that is not how you wear it!" she admonished, hitting him several times with a yardstick that doubled as a cane. He wrinkled his brow at her but was largely unaffected.

She was frustrated with him. I understood entirely .

Welcome to my life, lady.

"The whole world does not need to see the entirety of your chest, young man. The point of a yukata is to display the beauty of the garment, not your body," she scolded. I looked to see that he had, indeed, pulled open the top of his robe so most of his chest and shoulders were exposed.

"Look, with all due respect, fuck off you old bag," Hidan said casually.

"Oh my God I am so sorry! I will take care of him!" I rushed towards Hidan to clap my hands over his mouth and began furiously apologizing to the elderly woman.

She waved it off with some unintelligible muttering. Something about all looks and no respect.

"Mm, yeah you will," Hidan said quietly, looking down at me with a victorious smirk as I grabbed at his collar, yanking it closed and smoothing it out across his chest before redoing the sash. The yukata itself suited him beautifully. A nice, rich charcoal with deep magenta striations and a magenta belt.

The old shopkeep knew what she was doing, playing off his unique eyes like that.

"Hidan..." I hissed, annoyed to realize this was probably all his plan just to get me to touch him. "What ever happened to you being nice ?" I demanded in a whisper.

"Hm, never tried it. Seems fucking exhausting," he said thoughtfully.

" You are exhausting."

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, so close I could feel the heat of his breath and the graze of his lips. "Mm, you would know..."

His tone was mischievous and the blood in my face instantly came to a boil.

Stop feeding the troll.

I ignored his comment, aggressively patting him one last time as I finished fixing his garment.

"There. You look very nice," I said angrily.

The whole thing was nothing more than a giant amusement for him. He was off and running with my goat once more. As always.

"Thanks, sweetheart. Don't know what I'd do without you," he said back, flashing a smile.

The shopkeeper interjected, "Flash the whole damn town, I'd wager."

I laughed. That woman was my kind of gal.

"Fucking please , they would only be so lucky," Hidan scoffed.

I was so caught up with fixing the whole Hidan debacle that I didn't notice Itachi had finished and come out as well. He had moved over to Kisame who I sensed was a bit of a safety blanket for him in these odd scenarios that were normal for most, but certainly not for him.

They weren't normal for me either and I was kind of glad I didn't get pulled into the mayhem of sizing and being dressed. Perhaps it was because I already looked presentable enough. Either way, I wasn't going to question it.

Itachi stood there quietly staring at himself in the mirror as so many of the others did and it hit me in a very sad way as I reasoned out the cause for this somewhat forlorn, lost look.

They were seeing themselves as normal people. Perhaps kind people. People that would attend a festival on the weekend with friends. It must have been odd to see themselves like this. A reality check in a sense.

This might have been a snapshot of what their life could have been had they made different choices.

Or maybe it was a snapshot of who they used to be.

Maybe both.

Were they happy with their departure from that person they once were? Did they miss anything about them? Did they regret who they'd become?

I'd come to know them all well enough to understand they were not all bad. But I also wasn't blind to the fact that I got to see a side of all of them that others did not. They were not good to most. Not even a little, I surmised.

Kakuzu left me feeling especially disheartened as he stared blankly into the mirror. I wondered what he was imagining. Perhaps what a little girl riding on his shoulders might have felt like, giggling and pointing out the lanterns and kites floating through the air.

And maybe they weren't thinking about these things at all.

Perhaps I was sick in the head and humanizing monsters because I'd come to love them in my own way despite their shortcomings.

Maybe they were all just bored and liked to look at themselves because they were all so damn beautiful. I could never know . But something about the look and their faces made me believe that wasn't it.

Itachi looked so sullen, but striking as always. His hair was secured in a small bun against the nape of his neck. His yukata was black with a white geometric design, tied at the waist with a simple red belt. He was always very calculated and I had to give the old shopkeeper credit for choosing such a befitting style for him.

"Itachi," I said softly, almost as a sigh, tilting my head as I looked at him.

Whoops, didn't mean to say that out loud.

I had gotten caught up in my reverie and realized my error when he actually turned to look at me.

My head snapped back into a normal upright position and I swallowed, quickly rearranging the sympathetic tilt of my brows to be cool. Cool as a cucumber. Cool as a freaking ice cube.

Oh, beans. Who was I kidding?

You probably look like a stressed hamster.

Praying my startled response did not register too terribly, I hastily racked my brain for a way to play it off like I meant to say that.

I approached him hesitantly, mind racing for what I could do that would fall under our professional interaction requirement.

My tone had been far too delicate. I had nothing. There was no saving it.

I just did what felt natural, laying my hands against him and smoothing out the fold of the collar down his chest as I had with a couple of the others.

"It suits you," I eventually said quietly, not meaning for it to sound as sad as it did. It's not really what I wanted to say.

He was staring down at me saying nothing. I noticed the bob of his adam's apple as he swallowed.

I stepped back, my touch lingering before falling away, trying to resist the urge to apologize. I felt so stupid. It was like I just couldn't stop myself.

Maybe Hidan is rubbing off on you. You're a freaking masochist torturing yourself like this.

One last glance showed me his jaw was clenched. Putting my hands on him and commenting on his wardrobe was, as I suspected, not a professional necessity.

I immediately broke at the sight, giving in with the quietest, rushed apology and turning away.

I was ever thankful for Kisame who appeared to be entertaining the others. Apparently he'd found a polaroid camera. I had a very brief urge to go over and remind him we don't play with things that aren't ours… but it was occupying the boys and I would take that win.

His sunglasses were on again and he seemed to be striking several poses as Sasori snapped his photo. Hidan was chastising Kisame for not doing it right, snatching the sunglasses off his face to wear them himself. He pulled the top of his yukata open again and ran a hand through his hair leaving it slightly disheveled, striking a pose of his own which involved sticking his tongue through his fingers which formed a V.

The others snickered. I didn't want to know.

Deidara jumped in the shot, sticking all three of his tongues out. Hidan pretended to strangle him from behind. I realized I should get a camera for home. It certainly kept them busy.

The shopkeeper swooped out from behind the folding screen, scaring the living biscuits out of me.

"And you next, miss?" Her eyes crinkled when she smiled.

"Oh. Oh no, no I'm okay," I said, waving my hands in front of me, flustered and still recovering from my embarrassing slip up with Itachi.

"Oh miss, I must insist . Your dress is quite pretty but a beauty like you should be in something more worthy for a festival like this," she pressed.

I laughed nervously. "You're too kind, it's really not a big dea-"

Itachi cut me off. I felt the weight of his hands on my shoulders from behind and his torso against my back.

"Of course she should," he agreed quietly.

I breathed in slowly with a swallow as I felt the reassuring squeeze of his fingers pressing into my bare skin. After all we'd been through, the electricity still ran through him.

Was he… not mad then?

"Finally, a man with some sense," The old woman chirped approvingly.

Between her pulling at my wrist and Itachi gently pushing me forward, I had no choice but to let it happen. Glancing back, I shot Itachi a bewildered look. He simply nodded towards the shoji screen which I disappeared behind whether I wanted to or not.

"Let an old woman have her pleasures, my dear…" the woman said with a chuckle as she leafed through a rack of robes with a tittering noise.

"I have just the thing for you… just need to find it… ah there it is," she said, fumbling to pull it out.

I smiled and conceded. "You must love your job, you're so good at picking these out for people you don't even know."

Her crows feet deepened at the compliment. "My dear, it's not difficult. It's all just a feeling, and when you're as old as me… well, you've learned to trust those feelings."

She had me undress before helping me into the stunning garment. I knew immediately it would be much more expensive than any of the guys' robes, but I didn't want to be rude and tell her no when it was halfway on. Trying it on couldn't hurt… right?

I sighed. "Well consider me jealous, then. Trusting my feelings hasn't gotten me anywhere good…" I mused.

"Oh?... it wouldn't have anything to do with the dark haired man waiting out there, would it?" She asked with a knowing little smile.

I gaped. "Wh-what?... How?"

She let out a raspy old chuckle. "Oh my, I thought so. I can tell these things, you know. It's easy to spot the affection in eyes like his. That light shines for you, my dear."

And that's when I knew she had it all wrong. I laughed quietly, thinking it was me that was the obvious one.

"No. You have it wrong, sorry to say," I said with a humorless laugh.

She chuckled again. "No. I don't." She finished securing my sash and stepped back to look me over.

"Hmm," she hummed, a twinkle in her eye. "Do you want to know my favorite part of this job?" she asked.

"What's that?"

"It's witnessing the moment when every man in the shop goes speechless at the sight of a beautiful woman in one of my yukatas." Her cheeks plumped as she took me over to a small vanity.

I snorted softly. "Sorry to disappoint but I wouldn't count on that, not with me."

She shook her head with a little giggle to herself.

"Humor me a bit more, dear," she said, opening a pot of rouge and smearing some on each of my cheeks, rubbing it across the apples of them with her wrinkled fingers.

I sat patiently and stared at the ceiling as she went about applying some to my lips before moving on to swipe something across my eyelids and brush my lashes, coating them thickly with jet black. She grabbed at my hair, twisting it in sections and pinning it seemingly haphazardly, but when she had me look in the mirror, there was nothing haphazard about it.

I breathed out at the sight. It was nothing like when I'd had makeup done before for Gorzo's. I still looked like myself… though the part that struck me was how much I looked like my mom .

I nearly reduced to tears but bit back the feeling.

"Let's see who's right, shall we?" she asked, that twinkle still in her eye.

"I wouldn't count on much of a reaction. I think they found your camera, which I'm sorry for, by the way... they'll be too distracted taking pictures pretending to kill one another…" I half laughed at the end. They were absurd.

"My money is on the loud one finally shutting up… and the quiet one won't be able to keep his mouth shut. That's usually how these things go," she said excitedly, pulling me away from the vanity.

As I approached the edge of the folding screen, I could hear the guys still horsing around. I looked back and gave her a very 'I told you so' look. She waved it off and smiled, ushering me forward.

I took a deep breath and awkwardly stepped out from behind the partition. I immediately took to staring down at myself, looking out seemed too expectant.

The yukata was truly the most beautiful thing I'd ever had on my body.

You mean besides Itachi?

Stop that.

Oh, so you mean besides Hidan?

STOP THAT.

I huffed, focusing again on the shimmering, white yukata, adorned with hundreds of delicately embroidered powder pink sakura blossoms that looked to be blowing in a breeze across the expanse of pearly cloth. The details were immaculate. The sash was silken and red, a winding cherry blossom tree branch sprawling across it producing even more little pink buds.

I swallowed and looked up, shuffling out even more per the urging of the shopkeeper who came out and stood behind me with a little grin on her face like she was getting ready for some sort of show. She cleared her throat which garnered the attention of Itachi who was closest and had been absently watching the others mess around.

He turned to look, freezing halfway through his movement the moment his gaze fell on me.

He didn't move with the exception of his eyes travelling slowly up and over my diminutive form.

He didn't seem to breath at first either, though when he did, his chest expanded in an exaggerated way and the breath that came out parted his lips ever so slightly. He didn't blink for the longest time.

"Izumi…" Itachi said quietly, almost mirroring how I'd said his name before. My heart was pounding in my chest. It was a lot of hyper focused attention on me and I wasn't used to that.

Plus it was Itachi.

It was the most warmth I'd seen in him since that night and I flushed pinker than my blush under his gaze, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear nervously.

The old woman whispered into my ear from behind. "What did I tell you, my dear? I am never wrong."

My stomach was confused and fluttering. Was he really looking at me the way I thought he was or was I misreading him as I so often did lately? And why should I have even cared? I had Hidan.

You're the literal worst.

"You look…" he started, and suddenly the cacophony of fully grown men play-fighting in a robe shop came to an abrupt halt. I looked over to see all of them still and staring at me as well. Apparently Itachi speaking up pulled their attention toward me.

Itachi realized the sudden draw of focus as well and finished his sentence coldly.

"...It suits you."