Half Full
"I think–" Shrek pushed the front door open, "Ogre Claus dropped a present last night. Found one out by the old clubhouse."
Still sat at the table, Fiona, Farkle, and Fergus's heads all snapped to the front door at Shrek's voice in time to see Felicia enter, followed by him. Felicia glanced sheepishly around at them as she stepped inside.
Fiona stood and made her way to her daughter. Felicia finished the last couple steps toward her mother, and fell into her embrace.
" I'm sorry… I didn't mean any of–"
"It's okay," Fiona quieted her daughter's apology. "I know you well enough to know you didn't mean any of it." The room offered a light chuckle. She met her husband's small smile over her daughter's shoulder, and squeezed her tighter before separating. She gave her daughter a grin, to which Felicia couldn't help but chuckle, looking away with a self-aware nod.
Shrek made his way to the table where his sons still sat. He found himself standing behind his chair, his hands gripping its back.
"Look… lads, I'm… uh–" Shrek began, any confidence he'd gained in the last few hours quickly escaping him.
"Anyone who had to parent Fel would wanna sign her away," Farkle stated with a faux austerity. A moment passed before the rest of the family exhaled in amusement - well, all but one member, who flicked Farkle's ear as she took her seat beside him.
"As if you were a walk in the park," Felicia muttered to him.
Shrek shifted his gaze to his other son, who clearly had something on his mind.
"Villagers really wanted you to sign lit torches?" Fergus asked incredulously.
Shrek blinked, a slight smirk tugging the corner of his mouth. "Aye. Life was… interestin', back in the day." He offered a self-aware exhale.
Shrek looked at his wife, who had made her way behind her own chair beside his. Fiona offered the same small smile she had early that morning, but her eyes held more life in them than before. She placed her hand on his shoulder, to which he smiled with gratitude.
"So," Shrek began to ask her hesitantly, "did ye… ya know, get into–"
"Yeah," Farkle butted into the question he wasn't asked. "Weirdest Christmas story ever."
The family laughed genuinely, a much-needed release of the tension that kept accumulating.
"It wasn't even about Christmas!" Fergus added with faux offense. "I'll take the old one any day."
"Same," Felicia exhaled emphatically.
Shrek and Fiona looked at the teenagers, relishing the small relief that the three were in higher spirits than before. They looked back at one another.
"So where did ye leave off?" Shrek asked his wife.
"We, um… ugh–" Fiona shook her head, looking back at her sons. "Boys, where did we–"
"You kicked Dad in the face and the entire ogre army laughed at him!" Fergus chirped excitedly.
"WHAT!" Felicia exclaimed, looking between her parents. "What do you MEAN–"
"Spoiler alert, sorry sweetie," Shrek offered quickly, as he and Fiona took their seats.
"So… you stalked her," Felicia offered with a flat sarcasm.
"Yah," Shrek answered curtly, closing his eyes as he internally cringed. "Well, maybe ye could say I– look I HAD to, alright?" His tone betrayed a defensiveness he didn't want surfacing.
"It was a bit creepy, honey," Fiona seconded. "And that's coming from this version of me." Another round of chuckles emanated from the triplets.
Shrek exhaled, relenting. "I know, yer right. I s'pose I didn't really understand that… well, that she wasn't the Fiona I'd known. All because of mah… lack'a presence."
He wasn't the biggest fan of talking about that Fiona, particularly with the real one right in front of him. He knew she felt largely the same. But it was a pretty crucial part of the saga. She wasn't his wife… and yet she was, technically. That Fiona, as he had to think of her, never actually existed. But he'd still fallen in love with her - in a completely different, yet all at once similar way. Because it was her, at her core - they couldn't have broken the exit clause had she not been. But the two ogresses had led completely different lives, forming completely different outlooks on life a universe apart.
While the air around this topic was slowly beginning to lift, it wasn't without its painful reminders, and bells that couldn't be unrung.
"So," Shrek refocused back onto the story at hand, "True Love's Kiss wasn't exactly a given. Cuz… well, cuz that Fiona didn't believe in it."
The triplets' faces broke into stunned blankness. Their eyes darted to their mother, who could only look back at them with a neutral expression. The teens turned back to their father.
"What?" Fergus asked, his brow knit. "That's like, Mom's whole thing–"
"What do you mean–"
"–she didn't believe in it?" Farkle and Felicia asked on top of one another.
"Well…" Shrek took a breath, "she was, um… intense."
"Running a war is an intense thing to do," Fiona mused with a deliberate lightness, taking a sip of her fresh cup of tea. The teenagers exhaled in amusement as Shrek withered. The couple subtly met glances again, Shrek silently thanking her commitment to vagueness… not that she had any desire to go into further detail, anyway.
Shrek took another breath, forcing himself to keep going. "Anyways. Stiltskin wanted me, 'n had the whole kingdom after me… so, I turned mahself in."
The teens' brows furrowed again, confused - how would that have solved anything? Letting himself be captured, he wouldn't have been able to–
"In exchange fer me, he'd free all ogres - those were mah terms. I thought doin' so would save that Fiona, 'n her whole cause, 'n friends… cuz me breakin' mah contract wasn't lookin' too good. Stiltskin was pretty floored, too, so I thought I'd finally–"
"But that's the danger of him," Fiona interjected, desperate to educate her children on this man they'd just happened upon in the wild. "Even when you think you've got him beat, he twists your words, and still manages to win. And no one is immune to it… not even someone who'd already dealt with him." Fiona exhaled, and looked at Shrek to give him back the floor. But he nodded slightly, encouraging her to continue.
"Stiltskin honored your dad's terms… to the very last letter," she went on. "He freed all ogres, except for that Fiona… since her curse hadn't broken, she–"
"Wasn't all ogre." Fergus's voice was distant as he realized Stiltskin's con. His siblings' eyes widened, looking at him, then at their mother. Fiona raised her eyebrows in confirmation.
"So her 'n I were trapped… together," Shrek continued. "Thought all hope was lost… but, actually, it was just what I needed, cuz she started seein' somethin' in me after I did that, I s'pose." The triplets' eyes focused back on him. "The ogre army was able to capture Stiltskin, 'n save the day. 'N we broke the contract. Next thing I knew, I was roarin' my skull off in the Candy Apple again, everyone cheerin' me on. So… kinda hafta assume it worked." He shrugged lightheartedly.
While the teenagers looked between one another, Shrek and Fiona met glances subtly, relieved at the task finally being completed, while avoiding as much discomfort as was possible.
"Look, guys, I–" Shrek turned his attention back to the triplets, unsure what good another apology would do, but unable to stop himself. "I'm sorry ye didn't know this, before ye heard a twisted version of it… from Stiltskin himself. And I'm–" he looked among their three faces, and then back to Fiona, "–I'm sorry fer what I did. 'N fer the stupid reason I did it. 'Bein' a real ogre'..." he scoffed, rubbing his forehead. "That? Over mah family, 'n everythin' that really matters? I dunno what kinda guy thinks like that… guess I did, once upon a time."
Felicia couldn't help but glance at Fergus beside her, her face growing hot. She felt him wordlessly acknowledge her. Farkle looked at them both across from him, his expression similar.
"One last thing," Fiona said. The three quickly looked at her, their attention refocused. "No one can know about this. Please." Her tone was calm and gravely serious. Shrek nodded.
"Well…" Fergus broached carefully, "who does know?"
"Aside from Stiltskin, ye mean?" Shrek asked wryly.
"Yeah," Farkle responded in kind.
"Us. 'N now you three."
The three glanced quickly amongst themselves. That couldn't be right.
"Uncle Puss?" Fergus asked. Shrek and Fiona shook their heads.
"Uncle Donkey?" Farkle continued.
"Mm-mm," Shrek hummed in the negative.
"What about Uncle Artie? Grandma?" Felicia questioned. "You said they banished Rum–"
"After your dad told me… everything," Fiona gestured vaguely, "we told both of them that Stiltskin had attempted to get your father to sign a dangerous contract. Which is true, technically… Stilskin had just succeeded at his attempt. We didn't feel the need to mention that, though. That's when we learned about my parents' near-miss with him."
"Gotta admit, learned a thing or two from that guy about lyin' by omission," Shrek remarked ruefully.
"So needless to say, with our word, Artie and Grandma needed little convincing to banish him from Far Far Away," Fiona said.
"Yer uncle even let us keep him in a cage out front fer a time," Shrek chuckled mirthlessly. "Not that ye'd remember that, ye hadn't even turned two before they dragged him back 'n threw him in the darkest, grimiest cell they could find. We tried to get more outta him about the whole thing, but he's a wee tight-lipped rat."
"After his jail sentence was complete - ten years," Fiona took over, "he was banished from the kingdom for life, never to set foot in it again. Lucky for us, Far Far Away covers a lot more than just the central kingdom. And once other rulers learned that Far Far Away of all kingdoms had banished him, they were quick to do the same."
"That's the last we heard'a him," Shrek concluded with a weary exhale. "Last we thought we would, that is."
"So, again: you must not tell anyone about any of this. Understood?" Fiona glanced around the table.
The three nodded.
"And that means anyone." She looked at her daughter.
Felicia's brow furrowed indignantly. "Why're you looking at me?"
Fiona raised an incredulous eyebrow at her. Felicia shifted in her seat, relenting to her mother's scrutiny as she averted her eyes, a slight scowl still present.
"You either, Fark." Fiona's turned her attention to the son beside Felicia, her expression unchanging.
Farkle held up his hands in mock-defense, but lowered them as both parents' serious eyes stayed on him. "Right. Yeah. Promise."
The adults' attention returned to Felicia.
"Yes. I know," she affirmed hotly. She glanced across at Fergus, and then back to her mother. "Are you not going to remind him?"
"I don't need to be told not to tell anyone a terrible, traumatic family secret," he taunted her, to which he received a foot smash. He looked aside at his mother's glare, now focused on him, as well as his father's less than amused face. "Sorry," he uttered sheepishly. "Right."
"Thank you," Fiona sighed, accepting that the brief period of calm solemnity was officially over.
"I think we're all a wee bit… spent, aye?" Shrek offered the table. "I think we'd all do well to lay down fer a bit. Been a long mornin' fer all'a us." The four ogres in front of him collectively deflated at his words, signaling their agreement.
"Maybe later–" Fiona began, but stopped to allow herself a yawn, which echoed around the table. "Maybe later, we could do presents? It is Christmas Day, after all." She stared ahead half a moment, and shook her head as the reality of her words hit her. "It's Christmas Day…" she repeated in disbelief, rubbing her forehead as she chuckled with far too much self-awareness.
"Aye, that it is," Shrek seconded, squeezing her shoulder.
The three siblings stood from the table, followed by their parents, and the five headed to bed for a long Christmas nap.
We're back! My editor (hanny spoon) has been kind of Going Through It recently, so a bit of a pause was necessary. I did consider continuing to post without having them be edited by someone else, but… I think her involvement is directly linked to the marked uptick in quality.
Thank you for reading!
Thanks as always to hanny spoon for editing, and to all my readers!
(Also... okay, to be completely honest, this site's decline has been pretty evident to me as an author, as well as others. I'm mildly concerned I'll just log on one day and FFN will be completely down - a week or so ago the main Shrek main on here was completely inaccessible, along with many other high profile fandom categories. I will continue publishing on here for as long as this website allows, but I also post my stuff on the other two main fanfic sites, the ones that start with A, and W. So if you log on one day only to find no more FFN, and you wish to continue reading, you can find it over there.)