Chapter 3: A Bleak Existence
Obscured in complete darkness, Hueco Mundo could hardly be considered a refuge, much less a proper home. Eerily silent, faint crescendos of moonlight would illuminate the pale ashy ground, breaking through the dense canopy of towering crystalline trees above. Accompanied by the occasional animalistic shriek, it was a realm that was, without a doubt, totally depressing.
Some time had passed since my arrival and strangely enough, I found myself slipping into a comfortable routine. I would mindlessly wander the vast expanse, stopping every so often to find a little alcove or cave to rest and brood. Recalling past memories of my time alive, there I would lie, caught in a deluge of slowly forgotten failures and bitterness.
And so, the entire cycle would repeat, an depressing loop interrupted only by the need to eat
Eating…
As a Hollow, there's this little corner in the back of your head which screams at you 24/7. Demanding you to eat, it is a call of insanity that plagues your body and mind, pleading for you to get rid of the painful emptiness which fills your entire being. A persistent itch, hunger occupies your every thought, chipping away at your remaining sanity, leaving behind only spite and angst.
Sadly not unused to such depressing feelings, the experience luckily wasn't too overwhelming, though I did hunt whenever I could. Still keen on keeping my moral slate clean, I wasn't naive enough to think I could get by without making compromises if I ever wanted to see Komachi again.
In this manner, I had become quite the talented hunter, catching any unfortunate souls who had the bad luck of entering my radar. Lithe and petite, compared to the bumbling house sized competition which almost always mindlessly screeched, I had a nice advantage going, catching my prey off guard in a quick and painless death.
Prey~that was I had begun to call them. What little humanity remained in me, was repulsed by the term and what I had become. Yet my desire for self-satisfaction was bigger, demanding me to continue, to cling onto my wretched existence, to make any sacrifice in the name of seeing Komachi once more.
Which brought me to my current situation; rummaging through the Austrian Countryside looking for my next meal. Secluded, compared to the cities, the chances of encountering a Shinigami out here was next to impossible. Of course a smaller population meant less food, but with the reduced competition and additional safety, the tradeoff was more than worth it.
Passing by another Rye field, a cool breeze trickles in, light glades of wind scraping gently against my body. Carrying the scent of grape and dirt, my senses suddenly go on full alert as the familiar stench of corrupted energy fills the air.
I had competition and a strong one at that.
Hunching my back, I start to follow the putrid scent, curiosity getting the better of me. Following my instincts, which I had learned to trust, something inside my gut insisted that it would be well worth my while.
Pressing onwards to the field's end, the musk becomes almost palpable, the foul stench laced with another energy, I can't seem to put my finger on.
Ah~ now I understand why Komachi and Mom freak out whenever a rodent gets into the house…
Standing by a riverbank is the largest Gerbil I've ever seen. A grotesque thing coated in matted brown fur, numerous incisions and small scratches litter across its body. Covering its face is the all too familiar chalk mask and above swings an tentacle of sorts, hanging precariously as it sways with concealed intelligence.
*Huff*Huff*Huff*
Angling to get a better view, my heart skips a beat at what happens next.
Clumsily stumbling, from the distance out wobbles a bloodied girl caked in grime. Barely out of childhood, her petite figure stands unbroken, sheening with sweat as she grips onto her right arm for support, a single eye closed shut by dried blood. Snarling, below her single good arm is a small blue bow crackling with energy.
Steadying her hands, I watch silently as she narrowed her eyes in concentration before suddenly disappearing, reappearing a mere few meters from her opponent's flank. Raising her weapon, right before the killing blow is made, the girl falters, her face scrunched in a conflicted expression, the precious advantage of surprise lost.
"Kyahh!"
Without mercy, the Gerbil wastes no time, the brown fur layered over his body warping into a whip that ruthlessly lashes out, sending the poor girl back, her body flailing like a rag doll.
"Hehehe" he gloats, "Girlie you're a hundred years too young to ever defeat me. Opponents twice your strength have tried the same and failed. Here's some advice- give up now and it will all be over soon. I promise it won't hurt too much."
"I -I-I …I'm GONNA kill you!"
Getting back up, the girl raises her weapon once more, her eyes burning with determination. Stirring my heart, I felt a bit teary eyed at the moving scene. Wearing the same resolute look I had when I gathered the courage to ask the neighborhood kids if we could play together, I couldn't help but want to root for her.
Turning my attention back to the battle, I watch with an almost morbid curiosity as the brawl continues, progressing as if it were an endless loop. The girl would form her small bow and with a quickness that my eyes could barely follow, angle herself a prime spot to deliver the killing blow. However, each and every time, she seemed to hesitate, unable to finish off her opponent, the cost being a painful counterattack.
It was obvious to any spectator that she was stronger and more skilled, yet here she was losing ~decisively.
"You're a coward you know" The girl wheezes out, body wrapped by opaque blue strings, "Hiding behind his image. I'm going to enjoy blasting your body apart till there's nothing but dust left!"
If only she could back up those words…
In another time, the threat would have been dangerously credible, sending chills down my spine, instincts shrieking and terror filled. But in this moment, the girl was broken, alone, declawed and battered, a paper tiger that could do nothing but meekly roar.
This is getting hard to watch.
As a Hollow, I had made a personal policy to not interfere with the living. While I wasn't one of those wishy washy protagonist types, the idea of messing with someone who had their whole life left to live felt distasteful. Let the dead deal with the dead and the living with the living was my modus operandi.
Still- it felt wrong just watching.
"Any final words girlie?" The gerbil gloats one last time, towering over her broken body. "It's quite touching how much you cherish your big brother. As a parting gift let me give you one final surprise."
Extending the appendage above his head, a dark light coalesces at the tip, the figure of a young man emerging.
So that's how he was able to crush her so effortlessly.
It was a trick that was difficult to make out from a distance, especially when the disguised lure was much smaller than the main body.
A scummy trick that even a rotten boy robbed of his youth wouldn't dream of using.
Clenching my paws, the familiar sensation of fiery rage starts to flow. Screwing a kid's mind this thoroughly was already a red flag but as an older brother myself, to take something so precious, and tear it to shreds snapped a switch inside.
This wasn't about sustenance anymore, just simple sadism.
Refusing to let an inkling of intent leak, gray tendrils of energy coalesce around my feet, circling around like vengeful serpents hungry for blood. Power coursing through, my eyes narrow, scanning fervently for any weak points, any gaps in his defense.
There!
"Arrgh!"
Pouncing, claws meet the tender texture of flesh, sinking in with an unfettered hunger. Inhaling the familiar scent of sweet iron, the bestial side of me rages with approval, pleading for more blood, more carnage. For the first time I had tasted the flesh of our own kind.
And it was delicious.
By now, fully cognizant of the situation, the Gerbil leaps backward, fleeing to safety. Glaring hatefully, a sliver of disappointment hits me, realizing that the scum is far from dead. Bloodied and bruised, the Gerbil wheezes, struggling to stay upright, his brown coat lined with numerous wounds, one of his arms completely missing.
"You!" the Hollow stutters in indignation, "The girl's mine! Stay out of this if you know what's good for you!"
Not bothering to dignify the rat with a response, I face the still injured girl, her eyes glittering with a mix of shock and terrified defiance.
"Don't worry- I'm an ally." I try my best to reassure her, making sure she does not kill me immediately. Even if I won, none of that mattered if I ended up being shot from the rear.
Taking advantage of the momentary pause, the Gerbil lunges, his wounds already starting to heal. Numerous whips shoot out from his mane, screeching vengefully as they soar out like rockets, each powerful enough to shatter stone.
Blotting out the sky, it doesn't take long before the assault starts to take its toll. A cut here, a punch there, the attacks were relentless, a swarm of angry ants intent on vengeance. Already I had begun to feel sluggish, dulled by the stab of pain which crept every time I moved to evade an attack.
So long as I was kept at arm's length, it was impossible to land a hit. Even worse was the bastard had come to the same conclusion, jumping away whenever I got too close.
There was only one solution I could think of.
Muttering curses in anticipation, I intentionally lower my pace, quickly becoming engulfed by a wad of fur, the coarse and harsh texture scraping harshly against my skin. As arrogant as a normie who believed in ideals of Youth, the Gerbil seemed to be the type to gloat, boasting before he killed you.
At least that was what I was betting on…
Chucking heartily, a wave of relief hits, my prediction turning out to be true. Within seconds the two of us are face to face, warm rancid breath caressing my body like a diseased rag.
"Hehe. Did you really think that you had a chance, little fox? Dozens of opponents far stronger than you have fallen before me. Even those damn Shinigami stood no chance. Know this boy, the minute you laid a finger on the likes of Grand Fisher your fate was sealed. Like that stupid girl you are nothing next to me."
Continuing to boast, the Gerbil or Grand Fisher, continues to lower his guard. Fully invested in his superiority spiel, the guy was now cajoling in sadistic laughter as he continued to mock me, unaware of his surroundings.
Just what I was hoping for…
Quickly turning to the injured girl who has been watching from the sidelines, I-Hachiman Hikigaya, commit the greatest taboo loner is capable of: Relying on another person.
"He's wide open! Shoot!"
Immediately sharp pain erupts from my chest as the Hollow starts to squeeze my body intent on punishing me. Brandishing his teeth into a toothy snarl, his eyes flare with rage as he realizes the situation.
But it's too little, too late. Cutting through air like an azure dragon, a brilliant blue arrow slams into the Gerbil's chest, the smell of cooked flesh soon following. Screeching in pain, Grand Fisher lets go, too focused on the pain to care or comprehend.
Mere centimeters away from the bastard I lunge, my instincts taking full reign as I bite, kick, and tear, gouging his tender flesh.
My throat piled with the congealed blood and raw flesh, within a minute it's all over, the only remains of Grand Fisher a few strands of hair, scattering into the air. Writhing in ecstasy, the familiar feeling of power washes over, a soothing relief from the endless aches. For a brief second, I'm on Cloud-9, soaring through the skies without fear or pain, all Earthly desires left behind.
Here I was, Hachiman Hikigaya, invincible and unbroken. The storm had been weathered and tamed, a sense of pride swelling my chest. The only time I felt this sense of accomplishment was when I had gotten an invitation to the class rep's birthday a few years back.
It was really too bad the party was quite boring. I never could have guessed that people my age still played the invisibility game.
Snap*
Coming back to my senses, I turn to see the injured girl, her bow leveled directly at my face. A quick shot away from death, I lower my body in submission, emphasizing my lack of danger. Already subconsciously drooling at the thought of sampling her delicious flesh, I was smart enough to not push my luck.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot where you stand Hollow!" She yells, her tone betraying not an ounce of fear or nervousness.
"I saved your life. That counts for something at least doesn't it?"
"And why would a Hollow go through all the trouble? Momma said you people are monsters, who only think of eating and killing us. How can I trust that a dumb doggy like you won't try and trick me?"
"Girl, we both know I wouldn't stand a chance against you, trickery or not. The only reason I chose to help was to save your life from that Hollow you were fighting."
That much was largely true. Even with her injuries, something told me that the girl still would wipe the floor with me recent power-up or not. Radiating brilliantly, her body oozed power, energy seeping out of it like an overflowing faucet. If anything, between the two of us, she was the real monster here.
"As if!", her bow flaring up dangerously , "I had that rat freak! You didn't need to butt in like that and steal my kill!"
Thankfully she seemed to be a bit of an airhead.
"Alright Alright." my paws gesturing non threateningly, " Let's just say that I helped as a thank you. One of your people saved my life a while back, so I thought I would return the favor."
"Liar! No Quincy would ever help a big dirty ugly stinky Hollow like you! An ugly doggy can't fool me!"
Seriously, even in the afterlife, my charisma was below average.
Before I can even make a snarky retort, a shrill voice booms in the distance, carrying over
"Lady Basterbine, where are you! Lady Basterbine your fath~ quick hurry you fools! Her reiatsu is scattered all over the place."
That was my cue to leave.
It didn't take a genius to understand how the situation was practically set up for a painful death once they found me, a Hollow, next to their precious injured lady.
Energy seeping into my paws, the stale air cracks open, the icy chills of death trickling out as I create my escape route.
"Wait!" a voice whimpers out.
Wearing a conflicted expression, the girl, or Lady Basterbine as she was called, stares at the ground nervously, her eyes bouncing between the dirt and me.
"I~ will I ever meet you again!" she quickly stammers out, coral cheeks flushed.
Watching her bashfully avoid eye contact, for a brief moment a ridiculous thought crosses my mind.
Had I actually managed to charm her?
Impossible.
I wasn't delusional. The girl was simply curious and was nervous due to the adrenaline. Logically speaking, it made sense why she was all fidgety and red ~ who wouldn't be all jumpy after a life-threatening battle. To even think a girl could have any sort of romantic feelings towards a monster was plain ludacris.
…
Deeper than that still was the fact that I was simply unlikable. It didn't matter if it was family or peers, I had always been alone, the scapegoat, the butt of vicious pranks and jokes, a human punching bag for everyone's amusement. Besides Komachi and my parents, I couldn't recall anyone else who genuinely liked me.
Finding myself releasing a self-deprecating chuckle, I spare a moment, pondering the girl's question before giving my answer as I plunge headfirst into the abyss.
"No, hopefully never."
The living should be with the living and dead with the dead. And even in life, Hachiman Hikigaya was dead, a man imprisoned by bitterness and cynicism, unable to live. As a wise sage would probably say, Even the brightest light can be consumed by the darkness if it treads too close. Associating with me would hurt all parties involved.
And there. Chapter 3 is finally finished and it only took 5+ months? But in all seriousness it's been a hectic last few months as I've finally made the move into college and found myself too busy to work on writing. So yeah, I would like to apologize for the lack of updates.
Personal details aside, I was pretty happy how this chapter came out, with Hikigaya's introduction to more of the Bleach Cast and some visualization of his warped self image. Originally I was considering making this encounter between Hikigaya and Yuigahama and have something similar to canon play out where the former heroically aids the latter but decided against it at the last moment in order to spice up the plot( I might just be a Bambietta simp after watching TYBW).
Anyways that's all for now and hopefully the next update won't be too long. As always feel free to leave any feedback.