Season 4 - Episode 5 - two days after 'Snitch'

July 7, 2015

She answered her annoying phone without thinking … per usual for this time of day, "Raydor …"

"So?!"

"Hmmm?" She was confused, exhausted, and still possibly asleep.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Emily … what … are you … everything okay? What time is it?"

"Six thirty, there, Mom, were you still asleep!? I'm so sorry! I thought you'd be up getting ready for work."

"Mmm," Sharon groaned, "It's 6:30 …"

"Yes."

"What day?"

"It's Tuesday, Mom …" Emily smiled on the other end, "What time did you get in from your date last night?"

Sharon opened her eyes. Oh my god.

"Yeah, Mom … how was your first 'date'?"

Sharon couldn't stop the smile from forming … last evening and night and this morning played over in her mind quickly. He left only an hour ago. She bit her bottom lip.

"Was great."

"So you two are dating?"

"Yes."

Emily squealed and Sharon had to move the phone quickly away from her ear.

"Tell me everything!"

Sharon stretched, needing to get up. "No."

"MOM!"

"Emily, it's way too early for how loud you are being. It was an amazing date. The best. That's enough for now, love."

"Fine. You're running late for work, but I'll need more details later."

"Maybe. Bye, Emily."

"Bye, Mom." Emily continued to smile as she hung up.

Sharon's smile faded. What could she tell her? Not the truth. She couldn't tell her that they didn't make it to Serve. She couldn't tell her she just went straight to his house … bed … bathtub, desk … bed again for hours. She couldn't tell her that they already exchanged the 'I love you's' … she couldn't say that he went ahead and stayed over after bringing her home at two a.m., leaving at 5:30, exhausted and giddy.

Sharon fell back against her pillow. 6:30. She was going to be late. She was sure he was already at work.

'Good morning' she texted.

'Very, very good morning'

She grinned.

'You at work?'

'Yep. Came straight here. You almost here?'

'Still in bed.'

'Why so tired?'

'Shut up.'

'I love you.'

'Don't shut up. I love you.'

'See you in a bit? I'm nervous.'

'Behave today.'

'Yes ma'am.'

He did behave. She was so proud at how at ease she felt all day. Sure, her heart rate increased a bit when she saw him and she smiled a little more than usual, but they could do this.

He was miserable, she'd find out later, but he pulled it off pretty well. She called him in at one point and they had an entire discussion about a case, him leaving to make some calls … not awkward at all. They could do this.

She was worried about this the most. He … their relationship … could not affect her work. She loved him. She knew it. She'd only said it out loud late last night to him and only realized that she was in love with him last week … her job wasn't something she'd ruin for that, though. She wasn't sure that this could work.

He was stubborn.

She was, more.

His temper would ultimately rear its head.

Hers, too, she smiled.

Something had shifted … changed, though. She just didn't seem to care. She couldn't care about the risk. They had to take it. She had to give this the chance she deserved, he deserved. She looked out to him at his desk, working. He was everything she thought he'd be. Everything he wasn't ten years ago. This was only day one. Last night, though, this morning. The way he was … surprised her, a bit. She looked down at a file, pretending to work. Smiling.

'Hey' he texted.

She looked at him again, he was facing his desk, looking down to his phone.

'Hey'

'Can I text 'I love you' during the day here?'

'Yes but not every five minutes.'

'I love you' 9:52 a.m.

'I love you'

She went back to work. Enough of that. She smiled.

'I love you' 9:58 a.m.

She bit her bottom lip and grinned. No.

She responded, however, 'I love you'

'I love you' 10:04 a.m.

Should she stop it now or see how far he'll go? She knows him. He'd literally do this every six minutes for the rest of today, and then probably tonight when they're together.

'Andy'

'Sorry, had to' He turned around at his desk and smiled that stupid smile over and she returned it. 'I'll stop.'

'I love you. Work, please.'

'Okay' he sent a sad face emoji and a heart.

She shook her head, met his eyes as he turned more in his chair and stood, happily walking over to Tao's desk to discuss something. She looked down to the file and actually got to work.

Season 1 - Episode 3 - after 'Medical Causes'

August 26, 2012

She filled her second glass of wine and sat on the couch, breathing in deeply and enjoying the quiet. Rusty is home.

The sentence repeated over and over in her head.

Rusty is home.

His face, she smiled, she already loved this kid so much and never thought she'd want the statement 'Rusty is home' to be true more than now. Her heart broke for him and she saw Emily and Ricky in him so easily.

Telling him that the decisions his mother made had nothing to do with him … she'd had that conversation over and over and over with her kids. He was hers, now. She felt it. Even if he left tomorrow, she'd know him forever. She'd keep track of him, or find him if he ran off again, she would look out for this boy, even if he acted as if he didn't need her, and he was still just a boy. She didn't care what he'd had to do out there … how 'grown up' he had to act … how much he tried now to act all big and bad and grown. He was a baby, still, just sixteen and missing and loving his mother so very much.

His smile all day today as he anticipated being reunited with his Mom, just all came back to break Sharon's heart again. How could anyone not want him as their son, she'd never know … already taking him into her heart after him just being here fifteen days so far. Half a month and she was done for. This kid owned her heart and she didn't feel bad about it.

She did feel bad that she hadn't mentioned to Emily and Ricky that she wanted him to stay with her long-term. They hadn't spoken to him and she didn't tell them much, just the basics … enough for them to not have any more questions. Emily being her protective self, worried for her Mom's safety with some random kid, as she described him, living there. Ricky being his Mama's boy self, just making sure that she's safe and wary and making her promise to call no matter the time if she needed anything. He only lived a few hours away.

She finished the second glass of wine and smiled. She wasn't planning on getting too tipsy tonight, but looks like it's headed that way. She moved to the fridge to fill her third and hopefully last glass tonight and decided to sit on the balcony for a bit.

Her phone dinged with a text notification in her pocket and she tried to guess who it would be.

Emily, Ricky, Gavin, Andrea …

Lt. Andy Flynn

"Hmm …" she wondered aloud and clicked.

'Sorry to bother you. Call if you can.'

She called.

"Hey, Captain, sorry to bother you, just needed to check in … apologi-"

"Lieutenant," she interrupted quickly, "please don't apologize, there's no need."

"I understand," he slowed down. "I know what you're saying, and thank you, but I feel terrible. Rusty is important to me and I need you to know that I feel terrible."

She didn't speak for a moment. She actually teared up a bit. 'Rusty is important to me'

She cleared her throat.

"Andy," softly, she continued, "thank you. I hear you, I agree. I'm sorry he ran from you … he didn't want you to see him cry …"

"He okay?"

"He will be."

"His mother is a fucking bi-"

"Okay, Lieutenant," she smiled and then kicked herself for smiling.

"I'm sorry, I just … nevermind, I'm very glad he's safe and sound … and home."

She smiled wider. "He is. Thank you, Lieutenant."

"See ya tomorrow, Cap."

"Yep, have a good night." She hung up and took a sip. Rusty's home.

Season 4 - Episode 9 - during 'Wish You Were Here'

August 2, 2015

She was sitting at the bar with o.j., breakfast, coffee, and her phone, waiting for Andy to text. This must be her life now. She shook her head in disappointment.

"Morning." Rusty came in to make cereal and sat at the table. He was deep in his phone.

Andy texted.

'Don't be mad at me. I'm in your hallway … please come kiss me. No quickie. I won't even come in.'

'Omg'

She stood, brought her coffee cup for some reason, set it down on the front entrance table and quickly ... quietly ... snuck out the front door. Rusty was engrossed in his phone, he'd have no idea.

Andy was leaning against the wall next to her door.

"I can't believe you," she whispered her disappointment, but hugged him close and didn't let go.

"I'm sorry, kinda." He smelled her hair, ran his hands down her back. He'd missed her so much.

She hummed against him and finally brought her lips to his. He turned her back against the wall and leaned in against her fully, kissing her for as long and deep as she would allow.

"Mmmmm, you gotta go," she warned after a long while, but wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him close.

"You gotta let me go." He was enjoying this way too much.

"Andy ..." she warned after a bit. He was now moving his hands and lips lower.

He growled and pulled back, stepping back further, but keeping his hands on her waist. "I have a problem."

She smiled, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Me too, but it's a good problem to have."

"Are you mad?"

"I should be because I told you not to stop by …"

"You said 'no' to a quickie, this was just a kiss."

"Hmm," she pulled him down to her one last time.

It took him a while to break the kiss. "Do you have to go visit Ricky for so long?"

"Two nights, that's all we're staying. Maybe three."

He let out a frustrated sigh. He hated that she was leaving, but was more disappointed in his reaction. He'd never been this clingy with anyone … never wanted to spend every moment of every day with someone. Ever.

"Mmmm, I have to go, Rusty will wonder where I am."

"Gus, too … he's in the car."

"Oh my god, Andy."

He smiled down to her disappointed face. "You're so beautiful, Sharon."

"Hmmm," she smiled.

"I love you," he pecked her lips quickly and moved to the elevator.

"I love you," she whispered back to him and smiled as he kept watching her until the elevator door shut. She shook her head. She loved him so much. She missed him so much last night … their first night apart, really … and then tonight … tomorrow … how is she going to do this? She almost started berating herself for her dependency toward this man, but decided to do that later … she needed to get back inside. Maybe he'd show up outside of Ricky's just to sneak a kiss. She grinned. 'Ridiculous, Sharon,' she went inside, grabbed her coffee mug, shut the door, not too quiet, though, and rounded the way into the kitchen, smiling at the unknowing Rusty.