Interlude 30: 生き霊 (Ikiryo)
"Ho ho ho, I'm pleased you were able to make time in your oh so busy schedule for this presentation, Sir Kururugi. One would think you were avoiding me."
Avoiding? More like I have better things to do than waste my time listening to your deluded ramblings, Lloyd. You repair my knightmare frame and keep it in good condition. I require nothing else from you.
"Get on with it, I am here because you insisted that I would find this interesting and because the Lancelot Mori is undergoing 'upgrades'," my electronically filtered voice tersely replies to him, the lights on my mask glowing sinisterly. Irritating fool, you waste my time at your peril.
Sniffing in derision, Lloyd fiddles with a laptop, pressing keys and muttering to himself, "Your sour attitude is why you're as popular as the smell of wet dog at a fashion show. Much as I loath interacting with people unless necessary, you used to be so much more pliable and pleasant to get along with."
Pleasant..a word I barely understand the meaning of these days. Something else that died with Euphie.
Damn you, Zero. Damn you for all the lives you've ruined.
"Right then! Let's get this started, shall we? Time is money, money pays for engineers, and engineers make SCIENCE! Without further ado, I give you-!"
The large monitor in front of me blinks to life, showing schematics of my Knightmare Frame, the Lancelot Mori. However…there are clear design changes from my last deployment. Perhaps he was right that this might be worth my time after all.
"Lancelot Covenant. Not my first choice for a name, but given your morbid personality and penchant for being incessantly brooding, I felt you'd actually acquiesce to the name change instead of going to brood, or drink, or whatever it is you do with your time," Lloyd whimsically comments, the screen flickering through schematics as I find myself interested despite Lloyd's…Lloyd-ness.
"That new headpiece of yours is quite interesting. Since this was a general overhaul and upgrade, I thought to myself, why not integrate it into the design? Lo and behold, the simulations indicate a theoretical increase in targeting efficiency by forty two percent! And that's merely the least of what I've done to improve my masterpiece!"
The screen changes again to show a clip of a blaze luminous spike of energy emerging from the Lancelot's leg, piercing through a sheet of armor plating, then retracting and vanishing. Hmm, this could be useful.
"Blaze luminous drill! Given your penchant for melee combat and using the legs as blunt instruments, Cecile and I came up with this handy little thing. Hopefully it will save on maintenance time in the future, if you catch my meaning," he declares, a crooked smile on his face as the screen changes again, the implication clear in his words. Namely, that he hopes I will stop using the Kururu Kick so much.
"Be honest with yourself for one hour."
Argh…not again. Go away, leave me alone! I don't want to hear more nonsense right now. Especially from a voice I've never heard before.
"Now this piece I'm particularly proud of, though I can't claim full credit for the original design. One of my colleagues hit on the idea of an expendable add on to slash harkens, swords made of schrotter steel, charged with Blaze Luminous energy. Only good for one hit regrettably, but! It did give me an idea of how to make something that wouldn't bankrupt my budget. With some modifications to my MVS design, these MVS Harkens should be more than sufficient to deal with any opponent, if I do say so myself. Moving on!"
Sleep has been hard for me ever since….since Euphie died. But lately I've had to work myself to the bone even with the soporifics I'm taking. Dreams are no refuge, not when the waking world is a living nightmare.
"Now, the new 'Core luminous' function is one that we had to tinker with a great deal in order to minimize the energy drain from, but, and I must give credit to Cecile here for her invaluable assistance, the results speak for themselves."
The schematics change, indicating additional emitters mounted on the chest. Why would I need that- oh. Not something I expected.
"Hehehe! I can tell you're surprised at this one. The 'Core Luminous Cone' is an advancement of the concept of the blaze luminous shield, and one that I," hmm? Why is he looking like he just swallowed a bowl of Natto?
Lloyd's brow twitches in rare frustration as he takes a deep breath, "As I was saying, one that I reluctantly have to credit my rival Dr. Rakshata Chawla for helping to inspire. If her red hunchback gorilla can block my VARIS with it's radiant wave technology, then I see no reason why the Blaze Luminous cannot be put to use as an offensive weapon rather than a defensive shield. It's not perfect, mind you. Even I'm not that good, yet. But given your formidable skills as a device and the Lancelot Covenant's perfection? It shouldn't be an issue."
Saying that he leans down to look me in the eye with a strained smile on his face, "Just..try not to charge head on into a Hadron cannon like the one the Gawain had. While I'm confident the Core Luminous could withstand such a barrage, I'd rather not see my Lancelot needlessly damaged. I trust I'm making myself clear, Sir Kururugi?"
Crystal, Lloyd. Even if I'm all but certain the man isn't dead, there's been no word for a year. Maybe..maybe he really is dead. So why…why does that idea fill me with bone aching loss like my heart has died a second time? WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!
Suddenly Cecile scrambles into the room, gasping for air, a look of fear on her face as I turn towards her.
"Cecile, surely this can't be that important, I'm briefing our device on the exciting and wonderful changes I've made to the-" "Lloyd, Suzaku, look."
We both turn to where she is pointing as the television screen in the wall switches on, a familiar and hated emblem on the screen for a moment as it fades to a picture of a single spotlight in the darkness.
Seconds pass, each feeling like they drag on endlessly, until…a black cloaked figure slowly moves into the light, light glinting off…YOU!
"Greetings. Most of you know me by now, or have at least heard of me. For those who have not?"
A swift gesture to the side, his left arm held straight like a scarecrow before slowing moving to a bow as his body bends slightly at the middle, the gold filigree on his outfit catching the light as his head lowers, my body paralyzed by a wellspring of feelings rising up.
Hate, I can understand. Fear, perhaps. Even shock would make sense. But joy? Love? Relief?
WHY?! WHY CAN'T I MAKE UP MY MIND ABOUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM, THE MAN WHO KILLED MY EUPHEMIA?!
"If the king does not lead, his subordinates will not follow. Euphemia understands the truth of my war maxim. Why don't you?"
…No. He knew Euphie? He led her into a trap?! THAT INHUMAN BEAST!
"I am Zero, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven."
Behind me Lloyd hums in thought, his voice for once sounding intrigued at something that isn't the Lancelot, "My my, seems the propaganda office got this one wrong after all. Things are going to get interesting fast, aren't they Suzaku?"
"Much has changed since the reports of my demise. Something I'm certain His Majesty and his newest ally, the Knight of Seven, know all too well was a lie."
…He's calling me out. That bastard is calling me out!
"What I have seen since my convalescence fills me with despair, grief, outrage, and a not inconsiderate amount of guilt. I failed to seize Area 11 and save the Japanese people. That would have only been the start of my campaign, but instead it came to an ignominious end. Or so Britannia would have had you believe."
Cecile whispers to Lloyd, my awareness of the conversation only noting it in passing, my eyes fixed upon the baleful image on the screen as my fists tighten like a screw being driven into metal.
Zero chuckles to himself, returning to a standing position, save with one difference.
His eyes are glowing blood red through the mask, casting a demonic glow in front of him.
"Credit where it's due, I was very very close to dying that night. Thankfully, my loyal forces and a dear friend whom I will soon be reunited with, got me out in time before Tokyo burned. And yes, I am talking to you, Schneizel El Britnania. I intend to repay you thricefold for what you inflicted on Tokyo when you ordered the city bombed."
"So respectfully, Your Highness? Go to hell,"
Is…is that me? Did I say that? Why?! None of this makes any sense!
Zero rubs the chin of his mask, as if gathering his thoughts, "I'll spare you all the trouble of wondering where I've been and where I am. Where I was, was healing and recovering along with my army. Oh, and taking over the Chinese Federation. Things will hopefully be getting better for people now that the Eunuchs aren't ruining everything."
A yelp of surprise causes me to turn briefly, noting Cecile's eyes wide with shock and Lloyd looking like he just won the lottery.
"Ho ho! I know where he's going with this! He's clearly going to-!"
"As for where I am? I'm on my way back to Japan shortly. Or I'm already underway now. You'll find out soon enough, won't you, Viceroy Luciano Bradley?"
Japan. He's going back to Japan. THAT MURDEROUS FIEND IS GOING BACK TO WHERE HE RUINED MY LIFE AND DESTROYED EVERYTHING I LOVE!
Zero shakes his head and then sighs heavily, "But before that? I need to apologize. The failure to win that battle and everything that followed after, all the death, the misery, all in retribution for my thwarted ambition. I'm sorry."
You…you monster. You think you can apologize for what you did!? You think this makes up for what you did to Euphemia?!
"Maybe you could have come up with a better plan than humiliating her in front of the entire world, you shitty Char Aznable-wannabe!"
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
"I know an apology means nothing to those who have suffered, lost loved ones, or suffered degradation or needless horrors. Words mean nothing without action. Action to redress the wrongs, to save whom I can, to change what I must."
How dare you try to sound high minded and noble! You, who threw the woman I love to a mob that tore her apart in their maddened rage at your bidding! You, who sacrificed my people on the pyre of your insane ambition! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CLAIM THE HIGH GROUND, BEAST!
Zero claps his hands together three times then bows. Who is he? How does he know Japanese culture so well? Why do I feel a sense of longing towards him?!
"Namu amida butsu. A prayer for the dead in the hereafter. Before my fall, I would have said I come in the name of vengeance, retribution for Britannia's actions. But pride goeth before a fall. And far too many suffered for my pride last time."
With a dramatic gesture, his left hand furls his cloak in one hand, casting it open as he draws one of the two swords by his side, holding the blade forth, pointed at the screen.
"I come to reclaim my people from those who have abused and plagued them. To strike down those who take joy in the suffering of the weak and powerless. To raise up those who pray for deliverance. To ensure that the hope I kindled once before does not perish in vain and is rewarded for it's perseverance."
Hope? Joy? Deliverance? You hypocritical piece of shit! You think you can wash away what you've done with a different tone?! I'LL BREAK YOUR MASK AND YOUR SPINE!
"I won't let either of you down. Keep him safe for me. I am coming now."
ENOUGH!
"General William Tecumseh Sherman of Britannia once famously said during their civil war: 'War is hell.' A statement those of us who survived the Second Pacific War can attest to. A hell I will ensure no one ever-" the sound of shattering glass echoes as my fist punches through the screen, my body trembling in a range of emotions, breath coming like steam from the vents in my mask.
Zero…you want me to come to Japan?
"Lloyd. Cecile. Prep the Avalon for launch. We leave for Tokyo immediately."
Before either of them can object, I slowly turn towards them, the irises of my mask locking on them as targets, every bone in my body poised for violence.
"Immediately. I'm heading to the base commander to inform him of our departure. Prep the Lancelot Covenant for battle as fast as possible."
Fine then. We'll settle things knight to demon, with Lancelot's sword through your black and vile heart.
Saying that, I stalk out, the sheer menace I'm putting out ensuring that anyone who even thinks of crossing my path quickly decides otherwise.
Challenge accepted, Zero.
It took over twelve hours for us to get from Białystok to Tokyo, partially due to needing to finish loading supplies and avoid Chinese air defenses. Zero could be bluffing about having seized the Federation, it's unlikely. Kami only knows what vile things he did to the people.
Tokyo..I didn't want to come back here. Not after..what happened. Just being back here makes my heart feel like a wolf has carved my chest open to feast on it. Euphie, would you even recognize me?
Or would you recoil in horror at the sight of the man you love and what he's become? Would…you run away from me if I tried to embrace you?
Looking at my reflection in the window overlooking Tokyo from the Viceroy's palace, the fact that I don't know the answer makes it all the more painful.
"I would never have chosen a coward. I chose YOU. Because you're one of the finest men I've ever met. A man worthy of the title of Knight. And I won't let my knight...no. The man I love, tear himself apart. Not when he doesn't deserve it. And not when I can help,"
"Euphie…."
My hand twitches at the loud bang of a door opening, signaling the entrance of the sitting viceroy, one of my colleagues in the rounds, and a man I've never met before today.
Sir Luciano Bradley, the Knight of Ten, Vampire of Britannia, Butcher of Africa.
"Well well well. So the newbie who thinks he's too good for the rest of us shows up to piss on my door. What do you want?" he states with a sneer, looking down at me like he can't decide whether to mock me or fight.
What was His Majesty thinking putting this….this…garbage in charge of Area 11?
"I'm here for Zero. Just stay out of my way and we won't have any conflict."
A twitch on his face is the only advance warning I receive before three bat shaped knives are thrown at me, each aimed at one of my vital organs. Against most people, this would be a fatal assault, thrown far too quickly for them to even realize they are under attack.
But against a knight of the round?
The first knife aimed at my groin is sidestepped, the second aimed at my intestine batted aside with my cloak, and the third? That one I pluck out of the air and throw back at him, leaving a thin line of blood on his cheek as it passes by.
The heavy cloak on my shoulders settles back in place, the entire exchange having taken place in mere moments.
So why is he smiling like a demented baboon?
"Gyahahahaha! Ol' one eye said you were different! Guess he wasn't bullshitting, Seven. Or should I say, Eleven? How the hell one of you slant eyed fucks got promoted this far up the chain I'll never understand, but clearly you're not as useless as the rest of them," he cackles, licking the blood off his cheek, swallowing it with obvious relish.
最低のきさま。 (The most vile of men)
Light shines from the optics of my mask as I raise an eyebrow underneath it, "Are you done?"
Scowling at my refusing to rise to the provocation, Bradley sneers, "Fine. Do what you want. If the masked fucker shows up, you can have him. But if the red queen shows up?"
Red queen? The woman I took to Pendragon? What does he want with her?
The vampire of Britannia looks down at me, a demented giggle bubbling up as he licks his lips like a wolf slavering for a feast.
"If that woman shows up with him, I want her. I never finished showing her a good time last time. I'm dying to finish painting her red and white, hehehehehehe!"
….This…this is a knight of the round? This inhuman fiend is one of the highest ranking men in Britannia? Euphie…how could we have saved Britannia, when the men at the top are just as bad as Zero….?
"What's the matter, number trash, never had one of your own? Maybe I'll let you have a turn at her red snatch before I'm done. It'll put some hair on your tiny balls, gyahahaha-urk!"
Laughter cuts off into a pained gasp as my fist buries itself in his solar plexus, the distance between vanishing in an instant. Beasts like you don't deserve to speak.
"Hold your tongue, 野獣. Or I'll rip it from you." (Wild beast)
Bradley hisses, hands disappearing beneath his cloak as he glares at me, "You think you're better than me, Eleven? You think trash like you has any purpose beyond being a hunting dog?"
His left shoulder twitches, clearly ready to act.
"Even your dead princess that you couldn't protect only thought of you as a trained animal, Number scum!" he bellows, a knife stabbing towards my heart in an upward thrust.
Just before I can retaliate, a blinding pain stabs into my brain, causing me to stumble backward, narrowly evading the thrust, as a memory with feelings I thought lost long ago pierces my heart further than his dagger would have.
"But please Suzu...don't call me that tonight. I'm just plain little Euphie. Your Euphie, my Suzaku."
Euphie….what…where…when was this? Why can't I remember her?! Why can't I remember why I loved her?! Her touch, her laugh, the quiet moments we spent together, it's all unclear and hazy!
What's wrong with me?!
"What's the matter, afraid of a good fight-gah!" the beast in human skin taunts before I suddenly disarm him and start pulverizing him, fists slamming into him repeatedly, giving him no chance to recover as I pant, hot air venting from my mask, trying to stem the panic and discord in my soul.
Why?! Why?! Why?! WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER THE WOMAN I LOVED?!
A cough and choking gasp brings me back to the real world, and the violence I just inflicted on a fellow knight of the round. And the loss of control that precipitated it.
What…what have I done? She…she wouldn't want this. Euphie wouldn't want me to be like this….
"B…Bastard…I'll get you…" Bradley snarls, struggling to his feet as my body shakes in place, fear and uncertainty warring in my chest as I flee the room, the vampire's taunts echoing in my wake.
"THAT'S RIGHT, RUN COWARD! RUN AWAY LIKE THE DICKLESS FUCK YOU ARE!"
Air rushes around me as I run with all my might till I'm back in my quarters, falling to my knees as I hyperventilate, mask discarded on the ground, tears streaming from my eyes for reasons that don't make sense to me.
This…this isn't me. I…I'm not like this…I…I…no! No, no, no, no! I have to be hard, I have to close my heart away! I have to kill Zero for what he did and avenge her! I HAVE TO ATONE FOR LETTING HER DIE!
And then…and then join her in what lies beyond. And pray…pray she forgives the monster I've become.
What hope is there in this world, if something precious and beautiful as Euphemia Li Britannia, as innocent and pristine as Nunnally, as generous and understanding as Lelouch…no longer exist in it?
"May the Kami forgive me for what I will do. Because I can never forgive myself for the crimes I have done, for the people I failed, and for the country I damned," I whisper, shuddering in place, an indescribable feeling of loss overpowering all else.
Loss…what did I lose? And why does that question make my heart ache so deeply?