Chapter CXX: Crossing Over

Atem looked over as they wandered. The forest around them was dark, the mist creeping into his scales like claws. The branches seemed to sway and dip around them and he considered the darkened gray sky overhead with a rolling stomach. His paws had begun to itch and his mouths had grown dry the longer they moved about. But his eyes flickered back to Yugi's face. The Gandora was picking his way about almost without a care in the world, pouncing over an upturned rock and humming. He paused to look over, smiling immediately upon locking eyes with him, and Atem felt both warm and oddly cold.

"Yugi…" He faltered and Yugi stopped short, tilting his head and watching him curiously. He smiled warmly after a moment, coaxing him to continue, but the words stuck in his throat. Atem exhaled slowly, then turned away.

Yugi didn't press, so they wandered in silence a while longer.

"Was Sartorius being truthful?"

"Don't say their names," Yugi urged softly, glancing around. "Unless they're in front of you, don't say them. They tend to be called no matter the intent behind it. They'll come because of mere mention."

Atem huffed. "Let him then. I didn't get to test my claws on him yet."

Yugi snorted and smiled, eyes brilliant as stars. Atem thought he was the only bright spot in the entire place. "What did you mean was he being truthful?"

"I know you said it before, but I…"

Yugi blinked and raised his chin, understanding glowing in his eyes. "It's not much of a Paradise if you aren't there too," he said, humming and turning away. He padded along for a few more yards, then paused and looked over. "Does it matter?"

Atem flexed his claws. "I don't… W-will you be able to go back?"

Yugi tilted his head. "Atem, I don't regret it. I won't regret it later. Whether or not I can return when I die, I don't see a point in worrying—"

"But why would you sacrifice that? I don't want you to do that if—"

"I'm trying not to think you're trying to get rid of me, but kind of sounds like you're trying to get rid of me," Yugi teased, then leaned over and licked his forehead when he didn't answer. Atem was shaking when Yugi pulled back and searched his face. "Oh, Atem. It doesn't matter if I lose a spot in Paradise. If my attempts to save you now matter so little, then why should I ever care to remain there?"

Atem blinked.

"If you die here, what was the point of fighting Dimitri? I did it to save you and Yami. I'd be spitting on my own efforts now if I simply turned back. You came here for me." He paused. "I don't see a difference in you coming here from me choosing to follow you back over remaining."

"But… Yugi, I don't want you to sacrifice your place if—"

"I don't think you wanted me to fight Dimitri and lose all four hearts, either," he interrupted wryly, "but here we are. And while I regret only that I know I hurt you, I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Atem bristled faintly, stopping to stare at him. "Yugi—"

"Don't pretend you wouldn't do the same for me. I know you would have done anything to stop Dimitri getting to me. If we all hadn't been so damn distracted, we would have known. There would have been a chance. But even Yami was sidetracked and you don't have the gift of foresight. I had an opportunity to slow him down and I took it, just like I did with…" He huffed and shook his head, searching his face once more. Atem looked as if someone had gutted him and pulled his entrails out, hollow and tired and broken. Yugi wished there was a way to comfort him beyond what he was saying, but Atem had always been so hard to sway. "Let me ask you something instead."

Atem blinked and tilted his head.

"If you were in my place, what would you have done?"

The God Dragon huffed. "Yugi—"

"And if Yami had brought me here and you sensed me?"

He glowered. "Yugi—"

"And if—"

"No," he snapped. "I get it. I do. Stop. I…I don't want to hear anymore. Please."

Yugi blinked, considering him. He'd steadied his shaking but he could see where his words had dug too far into his flesh. The Gandora looked away, then brushed against him and licked his cheek as he began to walk again.

They continued in silence for a small handful of minutes.

Yugi glanced over. Atem was still several steps behind him, looking around and bristling. He hesitated and considered him, then their surroundings. Was he on guard because Yugi had said he needed to be careful of saying names like that? Or had he heard something Yugi had missed?

"Atem?"

The God Dragon tipped his head toward him but didn't answer. He raised his head, snarled, and flexed his claws. Yugi blinked and lifted his head to look toward the spot Atem was, then growled softly.

"Atem, to me," he murmured, and the God Dragon hesitated a split second before going to his side. From the dark came Sartorius and Keith, Bakura trailing them a few steps behind. Yugi huffed and bristled, baring his teeth. "Did I need to bloody my claws with you again, Sartorius? Or were you looking to see Atem rip you to shreds instead?"

Sartorius didn't ever look away from Atem. "You're so much…more than I assumed you'd be," he said slowly, leaning forward and sniffing the air. Atem bristled and bore his teeth, but Yugi stepped forward with a snarl. Sartorius kept his eyes locked on Atem, as if the God Dragon were somehow the center of the universe. Yugi didn't blame him—Atem was amazing—but he didn't like it. "Do you understand how much you've done?"

"No. I seem to be in the habit of misunderstanding things," Atem murmured just loud enough his voice carried. "It might just be my newest talent."

Yugi snickered despite himself. Atem lashed his tail, eyeing them coldly. Sartorius kept his eyes locked on Atem, gaze burning into his. He snarled softly, raising his chin and narrowing his eyes slowly. He tipped his head toward Yugi slowly, hissing, "Your strength is so mute behind his."

Yugi snorted. "He's a God Dragon," he scoffed, though a sense of bewilderment swept through him for a single moment. What was he saying? It didn't make any sense. He bristled faintly and risked a glance toward Atem, wondering. But his eyes shot immediately back to Sartorius. "What is the point of saying that?"

Sartorius stared at him blankly, then looked to Atem again. "Do you even consider how much you have caused?"

Atem stood statuesque, eyes sharp as his claws. "No. I don't think I care much, either," he said slowly, voice dripping with venom. "I also don't tend to listen to someone who means to hunt me like a deer."

Sartorius chuckled. "Me?" he sneered. "No. Dimitri is there for that. You'll find yourself dropping beneath his claws soon. I have no reason to test my teeth on you. I'll eat Yami's soul when he should die and enter my domain."

"You can't access the Red Meadow," Yugi snapped, bristling and lashing his tail rapidly. He drew his lips back further to show the ridges of his teeth and flexed his claws. Atem was watching him intently in his peripheral. "You have no means to hunt him down if you cannot enter the meadow, Sartorius. Or am I somehow wrong?"

Sartorius snarled. "You think you are the only one who could cross between the meadow, Purgatory and Paradise? You are not so incredible."

Yugi hesitated, for a moment wondering if it was true. He'd thought it was some kind of mistake that he'd even managed to pass through the barriers between the three. But perhaps it wasn't so much a mistake but rather Atem had somehow done it. Maybe his status as a God Dragon and Yugi's bond to him had caused the barriers to buckle.

And, just as Yugi wondered at this, a realization crept through him. He bristled, looking to Atem and finding his paws itching with excitement. "I know where we need to go!" he laughed, and Atem looked over in confusion. Yugi ignored the startled expression and gestured with a jerk of his head for Atem to move past him. The God Dragon hesitated for a moment, then slowly crept around him.

Yugi swiped a paw at Bakura when the Hunter nearly sprang at his brother, snarling and spitting. Sartorius watched Atem with cold, glittering eyes. The Slifer turned his head and eyed him just as fiercely, the two of them snarling softly.

"Atem, keep going. Move forward and don't look back when you get to the meadow. I'll be right behind you. I promise."

Atem hesitated. "Yugi—"

"I may have lied, but I've never broken a promise to you. Trust me and go."

The Sky Dragon remained still for a moment, then drew a deep breath and turned to rush off. Yugi saw him fade from his peripheral, flexing his claws as he faced the other three dragons. He bore his teeth, snarling softly, lashing his tail, and locked eyes with Sartorius.

"You said he's the catalyst. Why? What makes him the reason any of this has happened? As far as I can see, the majority of it comes from a mistake Jaden made."

Sartorius was watching where Atem had disappeared. He slowly turned to him after a long minute. "Do you think Jaden holds so much power? You're a fool, Yugi." He raised his head, sneering. "You and your little Sky Dragon. You both have more power in your paws than the other three. But Atem… He's gutted the natural order of things, ruined the balance. Yet you should believe it came from Jaden? Perhaps you should learn to cast your blame properly."

Yugi risked a glance in the direction Atem had gone. He could sense it. He'd made it to the meadow, but he was not going any further on his own. He was going to wait for Yugi there, on edge with his absence but refusing to come back after being told not to. He turned back to Sartorius, curious and bewildered.

"But what does that mean?" he snapped. "What in Paradise are you even saying?"

"I'm saying that your son," he sneered, "is the most unnatural creature to exist. He exists only because your mate's abilities are so strong. Had it not been for them, Yami wouldn't exist."

Yugi blinked, for a moment wondering how truthful he was, but the split second thought passed. He shook his head. "You're saying a battle instinct caused Yami's birth?" he scoffed. "An instinct that makes it possible for him to win every fight despite exhaustion is what caused Yami's birth?"

Sartorius blinked once, long and slow. "You think…that's his ability?" he muttered. Then he roared with laughter and stared at him as if he were the dumbest creature ever to exist. Yugi stared at him, bewildered. "You're fantastic. I'd love to know how your limited understanding has gotten you even this far."

Yugi hummed and turned to swipe at Bakura again when he drifted closer. He braced himself, but the Hunter did not come any nearer nor did he so much as bristle or growl. Keith was just as motionless behind him, and Yugi considered Sartorius for a long moment. Their eyes locked and he found his head throbbing for a single second before it cleared.

"You're a lot stronger than you look. As mindful as a hatchling with a head wound, but still strong." Sartorius peeled his lips back into a wide, hideous smirk and turned away. "Oh, I'd love to keep you longer, little Gandora, but I don't see a point in prolonging our departure."

"You're so afraid of Atem?" he spat. "You're so afraid of him you won't even bare your teeth at me? Coward."

"Coward?" Sartorius hissed, voice oddly dripping with amusement. "Me? Afraid of Atem? What need do I have to be afraid of him? Had you not come running, I'd have tested my claws on his hide."

Yugi blinked. Was he…afraid of him then?

He considered him, then glanced at Keith and Bakura. They were frozen as if in stone, staring at him with burning eyes. Yugi wondered why Sartorius kept them like this, why he didn't let them rush and strike at him. It made no sense. Unless Sartorius was truly so afraid of him, it shouldn't have mattered whether they came after him or not.

He is. He's afraid of me. Yugi blinked. Why was he afraid of him? Why?

"You're afraid of a regular dragon, even though you're Divine," Yugi hissed, almost laughing. Sartorius bore his teeth more pointedly, snarling, but didn't come forward as Yugi was vaguely hoping. He'd wanted a reason to test his claws against him as well, though threats toward Atem counted. He would have, had he not told Atem to go ahead of him. If not for that, he'd have launched himself and tried to rip him to pieces.

"You understand nothing."

"Maybe you could educate me then."

Sartorius snorted. "You're too blind and pathetic to teach. You're so obsessed with that worthless deity you've wasted away your own potential."

Yugi hummed. "Funny. I always thought he made me stronger."

The Divine snarled softly, then shook his head rapidly. "You think through him rather than yourself. You bleed weakness."

"Yet you're afraid of me." Yugi glanced toward where Atem had gone. He knew the God Dragon was getting antsy. He could sense it. Atem had gotten to his paws, stretched, flexed his claws, shaken himself out, and just barely stopped himself coming back. He huffed. "If I should die again, and we cross paths, I'll rip you to pieces for ever even considering coming after Atem. And I'll do it as many times as it takes to destroy the three of you and wipe you from existence altogether. Understand?"

Sartorius's eyes burned into his and for the first time Yugi saw Jaden there. It was the same furious look the God Dragon gave him when he overstepped and Yugi intervened, or when Yugi hurled insults and Jaden bit his tongue in turn. It was the same look he'd given Atem before he'd turned on him so violently in hopes of getting to Yami, right before Atem declared war…

Yugi turned and rushed for the grove of trees further ahead. The air wavered, quivering as if it were being stroked by a soft wind. The mist, dark gray and almost suffocating as it clung to his scales, seemed to lighten and even its appearance began to brighten. Yugi sprang forward, through the grove, and landed within grass the same bleeding red as Atem's scales. He looked around briefly, considering the various splashes of different colors in the petals of flowers and the trunk of trees.

He moved to Atem's side. "Hey."

The God Dragon startled, turning with wide eyes. "You did come," he murmured, sounding amazed. Yugi blinked, startled, but sank into the lick Atem gave his forehead before laying his chin atop his head. He shivered and Yugi wondered what he must have been thinking that he'd thought he'd abandon him here. "What happened?"

"Sartorius decided to insult me a bunch, but we didn't get into a fight, surprisingly. I expected more, honestly," he admitted, though relief surged through him as well. "I was worried he'd try to follow me out, but he didn't even do that."

Atem nodded slightly. "Any idea where we should go now?"

Yugi hesitated, glancing around and tilting his head. He didn't feel anything. There was no draw as there had been in that brief moment he'd realized. He considered and shifted his weight, flexing his claws. "I'm out of ideas," he admitted softly, smiling faintly. He was relieved when Atem smirked and looked around as well. Yugi brushed up against him, stepping forward and considering once more. "I…think we'll go this way."

Atem hummed. "Let the misadventure begin, I suppose."

They wandered until Atem's muscles began to ache. He shivered as he kept moving behind Yugi, the Gandora pausing and glancing around several times. He looked flustered and maybe slightly distraught, though he didn't answer when Atem asked if he was all right. The more he looked, the more apparent it was he was whispering under his breath. Atem realized he was trying to keep track of their progress through landmarks, but the world looked so uniform around them.

This must be what it felt like to follow me through the snow, Atem thought, glancing around again. Yugi snorted and looked over with warm eyes, grinning wide. "I said that out loud?"

"Just a little," Yugi teased, licking his cheek before turning back.

"I'm still sorry about that," he muttered, surprised when Yugi whipped around to look at him with burning eyes. He flinched back but the Gandora merely stared. "I…I should have done better. I know you insist it wasn't my fault, and you think it was a good thing because it meant that we realized Yami's egg was retaining its own heat, but…"

"Atem, there's no blame to be cast for that entire situation," Yugi said quietly, shaking his head. The fire had gone from his eyes, his gaze warm and soft with affection. "You weren't used to walking in snow, it was the first time I'd ever been in that altitude with snowfall, I refused to leave even when I knew we should have, and I didn't tell you my paws were going numb. We can play the back and forth with that situation all day."

Atem hesitated. "It would have been better if I'd told you about the egg before it got to the point of us arguing."

"You were scared, Atem. I don't hold that against you, either." He paused. "And you're forgetting, dear heart. I wanted Yami to hatch in that den. I fought for us to stay there because I wanted him in the safest den possible. Even if you'd told me the moment it happened, I would have insisted all the same."

Atem huffed. "You're making it really hard to apologize."

Yugi burst out laughing. "I refuse to accept it when it wasn't your fault."

He snorted before he could find an argument. He huffed when Yugi flashed him a huge grin over his shoulder. They continued in silence for a few more minutes, the meadow as endless now as it had seemed before. The plants all looked the same striking red and the grass was sharp as it touched his paws, threatening to ensnare them with each step.

"Yugi."

The Gandora paused, almost stumbling over his own paws as he whipped around to face him once more. "Yes?" he prompted, tilting his head and smiling as if they weren't lost, as if they weren't digging at old wounds, as if he hadn't been killed. How was it he was just so happy to be there with him that he forgot all of the worst things in this situation?

He hesitated, struggling to find the words. After a moment he sighed heavily, moved closer, and barely managed to breathe, "I regret a lot of things. I owe you a lot of apologies."

Yugi blinked, frowning. "Atem—"

He shook his head, flustered. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, Yugi. Most of all for being so cold to you so often."

The Gandora blinked and bristled faintly. "Atem—"

"And especially for what happened with Yami—"

"Enough!" Yugi snarled, lunging and snapping his jaws inches from his beak. Atem startled, flinching back in surprise. Yugi glared for a moment, lashing his tail, and shook his head violently. "No. You don't get to apologize to me right now when none of this was ever your fault and I chose to do those things. I knew what I was getting into when I courted you. You warned me plenty. And I chose what I did for you when Yami asked. I don't care what you say now, because you're scared. I know you are. You're afraid we'll never find our way out and be trapped here. And that's not fair of you to…to take all of this upon yourself because you're scared."

Atem faltered, eyeing him and frowning.

"I chose to hide Yami. I chose to lie to you. I chose to save you. Don't regret my decisions for me, Atem. I did all of this. I knew what was at stake. I knew you might never look at me the same. I knew you might be haunted when I betrayed you like that. I chose to do this, and fighting Dimitri was…" Yugi seemed to struggle for a moment before sighing softly. "Dimitri was nothing compared to the moment I helped Yami hide away. Betraying you was a thousand times harder than realizing I would die there when we fought."

He shivered, studying him through narrowed eyes.

"But the thing is, Atem, it was worth it. You survived. Yami is okay. You're okay. Rattled, but okay." He smiled warmly again. "And that's all I've ever wanted. Being happy would be nice as well, but maybe that's pushing it."

Atem bristled. "You made—make—me happy."

Yugi blinked and considered him curiously. "I know I did, but you've still got a lot of hurt in your heart," he murmured. "And right now isn't really the time to apologize. I know you haven't forgiven me just yet, even though you probably wish you could."

He huffed. "And if I never do?"

"That's a lot of resentment to carry, but I don't think you'd never be able to. I think it'll be a long time, like it was before you fell in love with me, but I can't see it lasting forever, Atem." He paused. "I also don't see that I've earned it."

"You're still here. And you came back—"

"That's not what I meant," he said gently. "I meant that you're apologizing because you're scared. You're afraid this won't work. You're worried I'm not going to be there when you wake up. That's why you're saying all of this. And I know you'd rather me take advantage of this and forgive you so that you can force yourself to do the same for me. But Atem… It wasn't earned, and I don't want you to manipulate yourself into forgiving me."

He opened and closed his mouth. "But… I… What if this doesn't work?"

"It will," Yugi said firmly, raising his chin defiantly. "It will."

Atem shook his head. "How can you be so sure?"

"Just place a little blind faith in me for once," the Gandora laughed, licking his face. It occurred to him Yugi was being brave for him, because he wasn't sure. He didn't know the way back, just as Atem hadn't known the path to take to get to the valley that day in the snow. But Yugi had followed him as faithfully as he could, carrying Yami's egg and trusting Atem to lead him there…

Atem snorted. "You're the only dragon I'd ever follow so carelessly," he chuckled, licking his forehead and moving to his side once more. Yugi looked overwhelmed with joy for a split second before trotting ahead a step.

They padded along for what felt an eternity.

And then Yugi bristled, wings quivering, and looked over at him again. His eyes were bright as the sun and Atem swore they were glowing, as if starlight were sprinkled through them. He bristled, confused, but Yugi crowed, "I know where we are! Come on!"

He rushed forward and Atem raced after him, startled by the certainty in Yugi's every step. They were surrounded by darkness, with a strange gray mist which crept upward under paw. The path before them seemed almost to vanish into nothingness for a single moment but for a dark, ashen gray path which stretched before them.

Atem shivered, mind flickering with memories that weren't his.

This was the same place Yami had found Timaeus when he'd shared his heart.

He looked at Yugi, hearts thundering. The Gandora turned to him, studying his face, and leaned forward to lick his cheek. "Go first. I'll follow immediately after," he promised.

Atem hated himself for hesitating. "I… You know I love you, right?"

Yugi blinked, then laughed. "Yeah, I do. I never doubted that." He butted his shoulder. "I'd assume you knew that about me, too? Even if I did hurt you like that?"

"Yes." He tilted his head. "You'll be there when I wake?"

"It might take a moment longer, but yes." Yugi smiled. "You have my word, Atem."

He nodded slightly, searched his face, licked his cheek, and ran for the gray path before he could stop himself.