5

"No, I have to go home" Ianto said for the third time as Jack struggled with him, the bite on his arm throbbing like fuck.

"I want you to stay until Owen takes a look, come on you know all the diseases those things have in their mouths, please. He is in his way in now" Jack argued, pushing Ianot back towards the medical bay.

"But I don't want to!"

"Ianto. How old are you? Come on. He will be perfectly fine, and you need to get your shots" Jack said, then added "I will give you something to suck for afters?"

Ianto's face left Jack under no illusions how much of a lead balloon that comment had been, and he grinned nervously as he checked the time again. This was not a normal Ianto. What Jack was starting to believe, Post Lisa, is that this is a Real Ianto and only he saw this side to the man who still maintained a polite façade around others. For some reason, this endeared him even more.

"Where is the fucking tosser" Owen's voice echoed through the base as he entered the doors, looking up with surprise "Hey… no klaxon welcome?"

"I turned them off. It's late and the inmates are asleep" Jack called back.

"Inmates. I like it. Like an asylum" Owen quipped as he wandered over to look down "Fuck T-Boy, can I never get a good night's sleep?"

"Stop calling me that!" Ianto growled.

"What. SHE used to call you that" Owen giggled "I know that much about you that was not in your file."

"What… who is SHE?" Jack asked. Not Lisa talk again.

"Yvonne. Like… Torchwood Boy. T-Boy" Owen replied and then added with another giggle "And now he's here… making tea. So fucking ironic."

Ianto glared at Owen like he might make him spontaneously combust and Jack knew there were only a few heartbeats between exasperation and violence here "Owen… just treat him like I pay you to."

Owen checked Ianto's arm, muttered, slapped on some ointment, poked… muttered… put on a dressing and then got out the needle for those shot to counteract the venom. Yeah. They have venom.

Antidote on board Ianto rose from the bed he had been sitting on to face Jack square on "And now I need to go home."

"Not… stay for observation?" Jack looked past the glowering man and Owen shrugged to show he didn't give a toss either way.

As Ianto was storming up the steps Owen called after him "But we also know she used to say it was TARDIS Boy too… right? Why is that? You bigger on the inside darlink? Or the blue suits? Or something else she knew that was not in ANY files? I bet you made the same noise when you were…"

Ianto stopped on the top step, pivoted to look down and said in a low, dangerous voice "Keep going Owen. Just give me one more poke and you will find out what the fucking T stands for."

"OK… come on." Jack stood between them, his mind swirling with the TARDIS comment as he held his arms out, like a parent separating children. Ianto saw it this way too and with a huff of annoyance he fled.

"What the fuck is wrong with you lately, every chance you get you needle him" Jack demanded. "Like jealous siblings vying for Dad's attention or something."

Owen shrugged like a child, still clearing up the mess as he refused to look at Jack.

"Is it Toshiko? Because they spend time together? You know… you know she is like a sister in his eyes, right? I might be a fucking dog, but he isn't. He is faithful to me. Him and Tosh... siblings." Jack guessed. "Or that I take him on the Weevil hunts now?"

Owen glared at him, and Jack knew he was right, disappointed that yet again he had missed something going on right in front of him. He didn't want to be a leader, he never asked to be one.

God, he hates politics.

.

.

Blerp, I'm home" Ianot called out, gingerly shaking the coat off his shoulders and letting it slide down his arm so he could hang it up on its hook. Yes... each jacket or coat had its own hook and woe betide the fool who messed up his coat sequence.

"Blerp?" he ventured into the flat and froze.

OK. So… lots can go wrong apparently.

Pot plats smashed, the light fitting was yanked from the ceiling and swinging like a fucking ape had used it like Tarzan's vine… the record collection was…no… not the vinyl… fuck… a cushion had met a grizzly end and kapok was everywhere like snow.

"Blerp, you better come out and tell Taddy you are sorry" Ianto stepped further in, a crack underfoot making him lift his foot to find cereal… oh no... the kitchen.

Yeah.

Who know one tiny thing can cause more damage than a troop of monkeys? OH fuck… the little smeared handprints made with raspberry jam looked like this was a set for a murder scene in some Horror movie and he knew he was about to blow as he hissed 'Blerp' like it was a curse word. He hunted under furniture, up on the broken light fitting…. Even opened the oven for a look. His demon child was nowhere to be found and his arm ached, and he was so sore and….

Ianto stood staring at the cat flap, swinging in the breeze and knew with a terrible certainty that this was his fault for not double checking that.

Larry and Blerp were gone.

The alien was loose in Cardiff.

"You little shit."