chapter-4: Sale Day

Chapter Text

"Naruto," said Sasuke, "get out of bed."

"No," said Naruto.

"If you don't, he'll dump a bucket of snapping turtles on you again," said Izuna. Naruto ignored him.

"If you don't, I'll dump a bucket of snapping turtles on you again," said Sasuke. Naruto lifted his head to stare at them, frowning. The ghostly apparition of Uchiha Izuna floated beside his distant-descendant-whatever-Sasuke-was-to-him, mimicking his crossed arms, frowny, Uchiha-patented stance. It was startling how much they looked alike. Izuna was like an older version of Sasuke, but with a slightly more bird-like nose, and Itachi's facial lines, but fainter and smaller.

A ghost floated by in the hall. A lot of Uchiha ghosts hung around, but they were usually stuck in their own world, ignoring everything around them. Naruto stared for a moment more before burrowing back beneath the covers.

"Naruto," said Sasuke, in a dangerous tone.

"No," Naruto repeated. He was tired, and he wasn't about to get up for anything less than the apocalypse.

"We're meeting Kakashi in thirty minutes."

"You know he'll be late," Naruto whined.

"If you do not get out of this bed," Sasuke threatened, "I will carry you to the bridge and you will have to explain to sensei why you're in your froggy pajamas."

"I'm proud of my pajamas," Naruto gloated. "Bring it."

Four minutes later, Sasuke dumped him off his shoulder onto the ground, and Naruto started to regret his decision.

"What're you two doing," Sakura said flatly. It was less of a question and more of a tired statement. She had stayed up late going over genjutsu scrolls from the library. A plastic cup with a coffee shop logo was clenched tightly in her left hand.

"Naruto refused to get out of bed," Sasuke explained. Sakura rubbed her forehead.

"Seriously? Naruto, go change."

"No," Sasuke argued, grabbing Naruto's collar when he tried to crawl away from him. "He has to learn there are consequences to his decisions."

"I already know there are consequences to my decisions," Naruto pouted. "Like that time I went dumpster diving when it was too dark to see and cracked my head on the side of a dumpster."

"What?" Sasuke and Sakura parroted each other, heads swiveling to look at him.

"That was hilarious," said Toka. She was a Senju, and sometimes hung around Izuna, and although they came from opposing clans, they seemed to have a strange kinship with each other. Most of the time they just argued, but sometimes she followed Naruto and Izuna around and helped Naruto with his genjutsu. Naruto defined their relationship as a classic tsundere bromance.

"I was ten," Naruto frowned.

"It was still hilarious," she said in amusement. She sat cross-legged on the railing of the bridge, arms crossed. Evidently she had been quite serious in life (as Izuna kindly pointed out with his "What happened to your stick, hn?"s and "Uptight cow"s.), but decades of death had loosened her sense of humor. Naruto wondered why only certain people became ghosts.

"Hello, you three," said Kakashi, appearing in a puff of smoke directly beside Toka. She gave him an amused look. The sling was gone. "Naruto, what are you wearing?"

"Why are you early?" Naruto replied, eyebrows creased in confusion.

"I'm not early," Kakashi argued.

"You're supposed to get here three hours from now."

"What?" Kakashi frowned, checking his watch.

Sasuke smirked. "I told you we were meeting at seven," he said. "But I planned to come at ten."

Still wearing the frown, Kakashi sent him a glare. "That won't work next time," he assured. "And again, Naruto, what are you wearing?"

"Why," Naruto smiled, pressing a seal on the underside of his wrist. His normal clothes appeared on him with a puff of smoke, making Sasuke's jaw clench. The only sign of his pajamas was the white T-shirt visible under his jacket that sported a large frog face. His pajama shorts were comfortable enough to wear under his pants. "What're you talking about, doggy?"

Kakashi stared. Naruto stared back. Toka poked at Kakashi's jaw, and her finger went straight through. He shuddered before jumping down. "Today's evaluation day," he explained. "I'll be evaluating your skills individually," he said, stressing the 'individually'.

"Can we use bombs?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"No," Kakashi replied, voice flat.

"Can I use seals?"

"No."

"Can I prank you."

"No."

Sakura gulped down the rest of her coffee.

"It's taijutsu day," Kakashi said pointedly. "Nothing else."

"You'd best watch your back left side," Toka told Naruto. "You always leave it open."

"I know, Toka, I know," Naruto said serenely. Kakashi gave him a concerned look.

"Naruto," Kakashi said, disturbed, "I know you live with Sasuke, but some of your techniques even he wouldn't know. This is an Uchiha style mixed with…brawling. Where did you learn this?"

"I told you," Naruto replied, irritation tinging his voice, "Izuna."

"Uchiha Izuna," Kakashi said. His voice was flat and disbelieving. "Uchiha Madara's younger brother." He was nursing a bruised eye where Naruto had kicked him. Naruto knew his own bumps and bruises were only minor because the man had gone easy on him.

"I told you I see ghosts."

"Right." Kakashi squinted. "Well then, who's the ghost hanging around me?" he questioned, crossing his arms.

"Says her name is Rin," Naruto mimicked his teacher's eye-smile, watching his face go pale. "She was a Jinchuriki like me for a little bit. She has these purple marks on her face, reminds me of Sakura. She says you shouldn't feel guilty about something? Because watching you sulk annoys her. Wait, I wasn't supposed to tell you that part-"

"Is there-" Kakashi interrupted, voice wavering, "is there a boy with her?"

"Hm, no. Just her." Rin gave Kakashi a sympathetic look. "Don't worry about it, though. If he's not here that just means he passed on peacefully."

"Naruto," Kakashi paused. He had his book in hand, but it was forgotten, his grip tightening on it as if for support. "I need you to be honest with me. Is this a prank, or not?"

"Of course not," Naruto replied, insulted. "Gosh, sensei, I love pranking but I wouldn't mess with someone about their precious people like that. That'd be like someone telling me Mom's ghost was hanging around." Disappointment flashed across his face. "Never found her," he muttered at the ground.

"Oh, it's all right," Rin whispered. "You'll meet her someday, Naruto."

All at once, Kakashi felt guilt and pity assault him, almost worse than what he felt on a daily basis about his old teammates. He stared at Naruto staring at the ground, swallowing before opening his mouth. "Would you like me to tell you about her?"

"Really?" Naruto grinned, practically bouncing up and down until he had ahold of Kakashi's arms so he could shake them. "Cool!"

"All right. Well, first thing you should know, there's a reason she was called the Red Hot Habanero…"

Sakura didn't like getting up at four in the morning to beat the rush on Sale Day.

She loved Sale Day, but everyone else? They were annoying.

It took mere minutes to hop across the village to her favorite weapons' shop. She stood there for a half hour until an old man flipped the sign to 'open', gesturing her inside with a smile. The owner, Asakura, always told her she reminded him of his daughter.

Having beaten the rush by at least half an hour, Sakura slithered in between the aisles and racks of weapons, eyes holding a gleam.

Kunai, shuriken, swords, spears even. Asakura's store had it all. It was probably the reason he had such a well-known reputation.

She stood for ten minutes admiring a rack full of kama before remembering she had a line to beat. She'd saved up for six months for Sale Day, and she wasn't about to lollygag until she had to stand in line.

Unable to resist, even though they had a good supply at the Uchiha estate, she picked up a pack of new kunai and a sharpening block and went about deciding on a katana. Kakashi had promised to teach them all more than they could learn from the Uchiha's scrolls.

"I'd go for one of these, if I were you," a girl with her hair in buns sidled up behind her, pointing to a rack. "They're made by Oniwari. He's the best blacksmith in town."

"I'll have to remember that," Sakura said, a smile on her face and a glint in her eye. "My sensei promised to teach my teammates and I. I've had some beginner's practice because my teammate's family heirlooms include many teachings on it, but nothing can compare to live instruction."

"True that." The girl nodded appreciatively. "You just out of the academy?"

"Yep. I think it's been a month now."

The girl whistled. "Wow. I'm glad to see a kunoichi with such drive." She sighed heavily. "It's like all the graduates care about right now are boys, makeup, and their hair. And really, I'm not complaining about being in such a time of peace they can worry about those things, but it really makes it hard to earn respect. We're kunoichi, not civilians."

"So true," Sakura sighed, running her hand along one of the swords' handles. "I actually kept up a façade like that during the academy so I could stack the team formations with my current teammates, but I think I was the only one who wasn't serious about it. I lost my best friend over a boy," she pouted.

"Damn. I'm Tenten, by the way." The girl stuck her hand out. Sakura mimicked her, feeling a grin tug at her lips.

"Haruno Sakura. Are you Asakura's daughter? He always talks about you."

Tenten's cheeks tinted. "Yeah, that's me. Anything else you're looking for, Sakura?"

"Hmm. I could use some trench blades, actually, like the kind the Hokage's son uses. I'm ninety-nine percent sure my friend's a wind type, and I think it would benefit him to learn how to use those."

They chatted as Tenten showed her around to some of the more lesser-known weaponry, a satisfied grin overtaking her face as she saw the gleam in Sakura's eyes grow.

"You know, my friend's into fuinjutsu. He's pretty good, but he's self-taught, so a training partner would be really helpful. Would you mind helping him out once in a while?" Sakura asked, piling her items onto the front counter as the first of the rush came in through the door.

"Absolutely," Tenten replied, ringing up her ticket. "My dad's the one who taught me, but he's pretty busy with the store nowadays and my sensei isn't the best at it."

"Who's your sensei?"

"Might Gai."

"Oooh." Sakura beamed. "My sensei's Hatake Kakashi. I've heard they're something like-"

"Eternal Rivals?" Tenten snickered.

"Yes. Hey, we should totally have a team spar sometime."

"I like how you think," Tenten smirked, slipping her katana into its sheath. "Although I'm sure my team would win."

Sakura mirrored her expression. "You're on, buns," she taunted, slinging the sword's strap over her shoulder. She grabbed the bag Tenten handed to her, waving as she headed for the door.

Team Seven woke up at six in the morning (much to Naruto's chagrin; Sasuke had to drag him out of bed, and then go to Sakura's house, leave a half-asleep Naruto outside, slip in through her window, and drag her out of bed) to get D-ranks. They'd made it their mission to complete so many that they'd be forced to take a C-rank.

Kakashi was none the wiser until Kurenai approached him complaining there were no missions in the queue for her team to take.

"Okay, team," he sweatdropped, standing in front of them as they watched him in an eerie way on a Friday morning. "It turns out you've been taking too many D-ranks."

"What." Sasuke replied.

"Well, there aren't any for the other teams to take."

"Maybe they should get up early to train and take them instead of expecting it to be handed to them whenever they want," Sasuke sneered. His work ethic had surprised Kakashi the most; his driven sense of anti-entitlement had sent the jounin for a loop. He'd figured Sasuke would be the spoilt one, but as it turned out, he'd become so averse to spoilt genin by watching Naruto for years. Kakashi had spent a coffee break with Iruka asking him about it, and he figured that seeing your best friend constantly spat upon and shirked at every turn, every opportunity snatched from him, without being able to do anything about it would make one bitter about ninja who were handed everything on a silver platter.

Mizuki had evidently been one of the worst. Perhaps that was why, when Sasuke "just so happened" to come upon him, Iruka, and Naruto in the forest, Mizuki had come out of it babbling and foaming at the mouth.

That whole situation still confused him. He knew Mizuki had failed Naruto on purpose- although his grades certainly were in the toilet anyway- and it had nearly thrown off their perfect 'stack the team' formations, but it was almost like they were the ones who set Mizuki up.

"Well," Kakashi continued, holding up a mission scroll. "I got us a C-rank anyway. I figured you guys were ready."

They'd only been training for a few weeks, but they were all at least chuunin-level when they started. He'd given Sakura a set of weights to wear, hoping Gai never found out. A vision of Sakura, decked out in a green jumpsuit, shouting about youth assaulted him, and he cringed. Oh, yes, he was doing everything he could to keep his students free from Team Gai's influence. Sasuke would take one look at him and go off asking for help with their taijutsu. Probably with a bribe.

They ignored his random wincing. "All right, team," he said cheerily. "Let's go."

They took off for the Hokage Tower, and Naruto waved at Haruna, who glared at him and muttered about voodoo children.

The mission room was empty, surprisingly- but Asuma was there, and he grinned like a shark when Kakashi told him they were waiting on a client for an out-of-village mission. "Damn," he said, shaking his head. "My team will finally have some chores to do."

"Ino needs it," Sasuke told him. "I think she has a focus problem." Sakura facepalmed, and Asuma gave him a strange look.

Naruto's nose was in his book. He tended to ignore everything around him at any given moment, unless it required his immediate attention. He looked up when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

Iruka grinned down at him. For the most part, he'd been unaware of the full extent of the falseness of their charade, but he'd always known Naruto better than his mask. "Excited for your first C-rank, Naruto?"

Naruto lit up like a Christmas tree. "Iruka-sensei!" he gushed, book disappearing as he latched onto the man like a leech. "Yep! I've never been out of village before! Well, officially…"

Iruka eyed him. "Do I want to know?"

"Probably not? I mean, there's like a sixty percent chance you'll give me a lecture."

Iruka rubbed a hand over his eyes. Naruto was still hanging onto his arm, and was lifted off his feet, but Iruka was used to the habit; it hardly took any effort anymore, considering how little Naruto weighed. From the time he was six, Naruto liked to hang off his arms or shoulders like a flag without any wind. Or, treat his limbs like monkey bars. Really, it had annoyed him slightly at first to have to hold his arm out whenever he walked anywhere, but it was endearing.

"Can we go get ramen when I get back, Iruka-sensei?"

"Of course, Naruto."

"Iruka-sensei?" Iruka looked down at Sasuke, who looked awkward and even a tad nervous. "Can you please rent a book for me while I'm in Wave? It's been on hold for three weeks, and I'd like to get it tomorrow before it gets rented out again."

"Of course, Sasuke. What's the name of it?"

In truth, Iruka had been Sasuke's favorite teacher- although he certainly wasn't as emotionally attached as Naruto- because he was the only one who treated Sasuke like any other student.

Asuma turned, sweatdropping when he found Kakashi under a cloud of depression. "Uh…" he trailed off, coughing. "Kakashi?"

Kakashi sniffled. "My cute little students don't like me as well," he muttered to the floor.

"Your client's here," Sarutobi said dully.

They each straightened, although Naruto was still in midair.

"Are you kidding me? These are the brats that are going to guard me?" the bridge-builder shrilled. "The blond one's a shrimp!"

Instantly, he found himself staring into a pair of red eyes. "What did you say?" Sasuke hissed.

"N-now, Sasuke, don't get violent with the man," Naruto laughed, pulling his friend back by the sleeve. Sasuke didn't like anyone insulting his team. "He doesn't know better."

"I know two shrimps and a little girl can't protect me," Tazuna blundered on.

"Cha! What'd you call me?" Sakura screamed, lunging.

Naruto grabbed both of his teammates around the waist, struggling to hold them back from assaulting their poor client. Izuna guffawed, and the silver-haired man gave him yet another disapproving look. Although, he was giving Tazuna disapproving looks too. Naruto wondered if there was any Konoha shinobi from the man's time who had not received a disapproving look. His own family probably hadn't been spared.

"Come on, guys," Rin said, to no effect, since they couldn't hear or see her. "This isn't a good way to start the mission."

Toka rose up through the floor, frowning. "Naruto," she said, "are you sure it is wise to leave the village right now?" she said, referring to the fact that he was in the middle of trying to achieve full Jinchuriki transformation.

"What's it to you, hag?" Izuna sniped, a smirk crawling onto his face when she whirled around.

"Close your mouth, ignorant reprobate!" she snapped.

"Ooh! She used the ~big words~!" Izuna gasped, slapping both palms onto his face as he pretended to gape.

She clenched her fist and scowled. "If I could, I would-"

"Incinerate me? That would be fun."

"Shut up!" she howled, lunging. Naruto blinked when her hands actually connected, wrapping around Izuna's throat as he laughed. Ghosts, as far as Naruto knew, couldn't sustain damage- but he'd thought they couldn't actually touch each other, either. He'd seen plenty fly through one another. Evidently he'd been wrong.

They proceeded to brawl in the middle of the missions room floor. There was ectoplasm. Naruto wrinkled his nose when Kakashi stepped through Izuna's legs.

"Man," he sighed, "you two fight like an old married couple."

The two stopped short. Sasuke and Sakura stopped short as well, thinking he'd been talking about them. Four sets of eyes, only two visible to the world in general, swiveled to him.

"Are you kidding me?" Sakura yelled, voice rising as she ranted. Naruto cringed. "I would never marry Sasuke! Gross!"

"Hey!" Sasuke yelped, insulted.

"Don't compare us to a couple! I'd never marry that hag, even if I were alive to exchange the vows!" Izuna shouted.

"Living with you would be a nightmare," Toka taunted. "I bet you couldn't even perform." She grinned like a shark.

A fire lit in Izuna's eyes as they got in each other's faces again. Naruto rubbed his forehead. "You're the one who'd have a problem. You were such an ice queen in life I bet you never even-"

"There are children present!" Rin squeaked.

"Oh yeah? Pot, meet kettle. Anyone who'd get it on with you would just be doing it out of pity, Uchiha," Toka drawled.

While this had been going down, Kakashi had managed to talk Tazuna into accepting his team. "We're ready to go, you three," he eye-smiled.

"Be careful, okay?" Iruka said, worry coloring his tone as he ruffled Naruto's hair.

"Don't worry," Naruto beamed. He waved at the Hokage, who waved back, unaware of the slightly goggle-eyed silver-haired man behind him who'd watched Izuna and Toka's showdown in silence.

"This isn't over, Senju," Izuna hissed as he followed Naruto out the door. He pointed at his own eyes, then pointed jerkiliy at Toka as she stood with crossed arms and a scowl.

"Anytime, Uchiha," she hissed back, giving him a much less polite gesture.

The door swung shut. She turned, tensing when she finally caught sight of the Hokage. "T-Tobirama-sama!" she stammered. "I apologize for you having to witness that."

Blinking, Tobirama slowly opened his mouth, looking for suitable words for the first time he'd seen his clanswoman since her death. "…you've changed much, Toka-san."

Frowning down at his parchment, Hiruzen tried to shake the feeling of someone hovering over his shoulder.