Chuunin Exams: Part 1
"Naruto, you suck at this."
Naruto stared at the pot on the stove as it boiled over.
"I don't know what to do here," he admitted.
Facepalming, Sasuke shoved him out of the way, taking the pot off the heat as he blowed on it. "You're hopeless."
Sasuke had been the cook for years. Sakura sometimes came over and cooked them meals, but she wasn't as good as Sasuke. His attempt to teach Naruto- in case Naruto ever actually had to live on his own- had proven to be fruitless. The only thing he could do was place a ramen cup in a microwave.
Even then he sometimes forgot about it. One time, he'd hit ten minutes instead of one, walked off, and forgotten to check. What a mess that had been to clean up.
Scrubbing a hand over his face, Sasuke salvaged the potatoes and told his friend to stir the gravy.
A moment later, Naruto's voice reached his ears. There were two stoves, set so two cooks could work back-to-back. "Um, Sasuke?"
"What?"
"Is it supposed to bubble like this?"
Sasuke wheeled around and blanched. "What did you do?"
"Sorry," Naruto said, handing him the spoon. Sasuke groaned, shoving him towards the door.
"Just go do something."
"Kay."
Naruto wandered back into the living room, looking for something good to read as he settled down. He was moping, really, because while Kakashi was busy doing…whatever it was he did, and Sakura was at home, and Sasuke was training, he really had no one to spend time with on their off time.
A knock sounded on the door.
Naruto leapt off the couch, rushing to the door and throwing it open. "Sensei?" he asked, befuddled.
Kakashi eye-smiled and waved. "Yo. Do I smell chicken?"
Kakashi had forgotten to ask Sasuke about his training regimen, so he'd decided to take a detour and stop by the Uchiha district.
He hadn't expected it to look so depressing. Well, it was going to look depressing, as a massacre had taken place there, but he figured with both Sasuke and Naruto there it would have some life to it.
It was apparent Sasuke and Naruto had done some upkeep, keeping the weeds under control and making sure everything was structurally sound, but other than that, it was a ghost town. Probably literally. He would've bet money the water and electricity for the houses was shut off. The only signs of life were centered around a home set some way from the gates, which were a hell of a pain to get over. When had they electrified them?
He paused, wondering if he was intruding, watching Naruto sulk through the window. He'd noticed some off behaviors in his students- such as, despite how they liked to tease him, they were awfullydogged in their attempts to please him.
More so than usual genin, that is.
Again, they'd flipped all his expectations of what they would act like on their head. Sasuke, rather than being demanding and spoilt, trained so often and so hard he constantly had to wear bandages on his hands and feet. When Kakashi told him to do something, he worked so long until he perfected whatever he was doing and viewed it as a personal failure when he failed to do something Kakashi had set before him. Rather than blaming Kakashi, self-blame entered the boy's eyes. When Kakashi praised him, however, some tension leaked from his shoulders and a satisfied gleam entered his eye. He could see Sasuke had taken full responsibility for his teammates- where they lacked drive, he made up for it in spades, determined to drive them to whatever greatness he had in mind.
Sakura, shockingly, was even more determined than Sasuke. The reason being apparent when he'd followed her home one day, just to try and get a feel for their home lives. She'd entered the house and quietly announced she'd perfected the jutsu Kakashi had given her- an advanced water technique that summoned a dragon, a miniature-version of the one he'd used against Zabuza. Her mother had patted her shoulder, said "That's nice, dear, what would you like for dinner?" and moved into the kitchen. Her father had been reading a newspaper, so neither one saw the crushing disappointment cross the girl's face before she locked her expressions down and smiled widely. Living with Sasuke and Naruto as friends had made the girl think she wasn't allowed to feel disappointed in her own family situation at times. "Well, I'm lucky I've got a family at all, so I shouldn't be sad." It was no wonder she craved the influence of those like Iruka and Kakashi. The other Academy teachers had no doubt treated her like an airhead- a competent airhead, but an airhead.
Naruto was…Naruto. He was a training nut like the other two, but he was also a tad lazy and valued quiet time, shockingly. If his nose wasn't in that book of his- which Kakashi still hadn't been able to identify- he just wandered around in the forest. If he had any purpose to that, Kakashi didn't know what it would be. He seemed to try and avoid walking the streets if he wasn't with Iruka, Sasuke, or Sakura, which made the jounin feel guilty double-fold. He'd caught a woman hissing at him about being a 'voodoo child', and honestly, he wasn't too happy about the air in the village concerning their Jinchuriki. Even after all this time they couldn't let go of their prejudice.
He'd taken to observing the other genin teams a bit, becoming the 'weird scarecrow' who sometimes sat in on training sessions. (It seemed he took after his students in the "socially incompetent" department, as he forgot to ever actually introduce himself on such occasions. They still didn't know his name- unless they'd asked their own sensei.) The Yamanaka girl had been the one to call him 'weird scarecrow'. Naruto sometimes called him a scarecrow, but in a way similar to how he'd taken to calling him a dog, rather than 'weird'.
In truth, he hadn't spent much time around children…ever, really. He was emotionally distant from everyone, even his close friends. He had nothing to compare them to or know what was "normal stupid teenage hormones" as Anko so kindly put it. Aside from the Hyuuga girl, who obviously had her cousin's situation weighing on her mind, the others were all emotionally healthy, had good family situations, and really…okay, lackluster, if he was being honest. His team trained so hard, what were Asuma and Kurenai even doing? Lounging around all day? Even he couldn't be lazy with his little genin around. Team Seven had already completed twelve C-ranks within two weeks. Plus, the D-ranks. They had to have broken a record or something.
His conclusion was: his team was attention-starved. Not the kind of attention people such as Konohamaru got- or day-to-day interactions with people- or even attention between friends. Rather, the kind of attention a mentor or parent gave. It was especially apparent standing in an empty district with only two living souls in a two-mile radius.
Which is why he found himself knocking on their door, tossing on a smile as he asked what was for dinner.
...
Crap. He was getting attached.
...
He supposed there were worse ways to go than death by Monopoly.
Naruto slowly wound a bandage around his calf where one of Sakura's kunai had grazed him. His wounds tended to close within seconds, but if he didn't bandage them after training, he also tended to lose more blood than he liked and ended up dizzy.
Plus Sakura just nagged him about it.
"Good session, team," Kakashi said with his signature smile, the Icha-Icha book already back in his hands. "You're making good progress. I'm surprised at how well you're doing with genjutsu, Naruto."
"That's because I'm teaching you," Toka said haughtily from beside him.
"Ah, shuddup," Izuna muttered, throwing her a glare.
"Thank you, sensei."
"Yeah, that one you put me under was a real whammy," Sakura sweatdropped. "Did you have to make it so morbid though?"
"It's therapeutic," Naruto told her, just to annoy her.
"If that's your idea of therapeutic, you've got problems."
He grinned at her. Twenty of his clones were still randomly dispersed throughout the forest working on his chakra control- sometimes he didn't know if his huge amount of chakra was a blessing or a curse.
"Sasuke's the best at it, though," Naruto said. Sasuke sat beside him, eyes closed as he wrapped up one of his wrists. "He's got the sickest mind."
Sakura snickered.
"If you're not careful, I'll use this 'sick mind' on you," Sasuke threatened.
"Now, now, no infighting," Kakashi said, expression still the same. "How's your medical training going, by the way?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Sakura can treat many ailments already," Sasuke replied. "She's at the top of the student registry."
"Sasuke-kun is ranked tenth place," Sakura said sheepishly, smiling. "But he can heal cuts and bruises well enough." Sasuke twitched.
"Ah, don't worry, Sasuke-kun," Kakashi waved at him and tilted his head. "I'm sure you'll do well with more practice. You're only having issues because you have much more chakra than the average genin." Satisfaction rippled through him when the inferiority complex died down a little in the Uchiha.
"Hey," Naruto exclaimed suddenly, "why aren't you healing me and Sasuke, then?!"
Sakura smiled sweetly. "Pain is good for you."
Kakashi really needed to introduce her to Anko.
Or keep her at least five miles away. Either one, really.
"Aaa, team, I've got a surprise," Kakashi eye-smiled, waving three pieces of paper back and forth.
"Are those exploding tags?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.
"Sasuke, you wound me. Why would I give my precious students exploding tags?"
"A test?" Sakura proposed.
"A trick?" Naruto tilted his head.
"For fun?" Sasuke suggested.
He stared flatly at them. "You brats have no faith in me."
Sakura beamed. "It's okay, sensei, we know you wouldn't hand them to Naruto. He'd just get you back twice as bad."
For a moment, everyone but Naruto shivered.
"I thought you'd like a break," Kakashi continued, eye-smile back in place. "Want to go see a movie?"
"Training," Sasuke replied, like a robot. Naruto rolled his eyes as he started off towards the Uchiha estate.
"I'm going to have coffee with Meiji-san. Another time, you two," Sakura waved as she walked off.
"Aw, come on, it's a Yukie Fujikaze," Kakashi said after them. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Naruto jump slightly. A glint appeared in his gaze. "You want them, Naruto?"
Naruto eyed the tickets. Fujikaze movies were one of his guilty pleasures. "Eh…" He was tempted, really, but- "I don't have any interest in going alone," he shrugged. "Iruka-sensei's out of village on diplomatic thing for village academies and curriculum or…whatever."
He started off to follow Sasuke. "I'll go with you, Naruto-chan," Kakashi said, the assessing gleam still there. Naruto paused. Looked back. Frowned.
Dammit, he knows my weakness now.
"Naruto."
"Yes?"
"Is there a reason we're sitting on the ceiling?"
"No." Naruto shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth, watching the movie projector display an upside-down image. From his perspective, at least.
"Ah." With a sweatdrop, Kakashi went back to watching the movie. "You know, you don't have to practice your chakra control everywhere."
"Hn," Naruto replied, making Izuna snicker.
Izuna hovered over to Kakashi's side, stage-whispering into his ear. "He doesn't like sitting down there because there are people and he's antisocial," he said. "Plus he got beat up in one. I mean, it was just the one time, but he was nine. And technically he's not allowed in here by the ushers even though they can't do that."
Naruto twitched. "Shut up, Izuna."
Kakashi side-eyed him.
"That's not fair," Rin frowned.
"It doesn't matter."
"Naruto, are yo-"
"Naruto-kun, you shouldn't allow that to happen!"
"Kakashi, tell Rin it doesn't matter."
"Ah?" Kakashi jumped. "She's-"
"Don't you dare say it doesn't matter!" Rin hissed, slapping Kakashi on the shoulder. He shuddered at the cold feeling, connecting the dots in his mind as his eye widened.
"Did she just-"
"It's fine! Don't make a scene!" Naruto hissed.
"I will possess someone!" Rin seethed.
"Don't possess anyone! You've never even tried it!" Naruto whispered back.
"Possess-" Kakashi went on helplessly.
"Hey! Keep it down!" someone whisper-shouted.
"I'm getting more popcorn." Naruto hurriedly crawled across the ceiling to the wall, sliding down until he hit the floor.
Damn ghosts, he twitched.
"Say, Sakura, is there some event or something? I've seen an awful lot of foreigners…" Naruto trailed off, flipping to the next page in his book.
Sakura face-desked. "Naruto," she said patiently, "the chuunin exams are this week."
Naruto looked up and blinked. "Wow, really?" She shook her head at him.
"Hello, my cute little genin!" Kakashi said cheerily as he appeared in a puff of smoke. "Guess who entered you in the chuunin exams?"
"You?"
"You?"
"You, doggy-sensei?"
"That was rhetorical," Kakashi sweatdropped.
"Ah," said Naruto, bopping his head in an 'I see what you mean now' way. He pulled a small notebook out and wrote something down. Kakashi chose to ignore that.
He handed them each a form, watching Sasuke's eyes light up with a frightening fire. "We're entering," he told the other two, leaving no room for argument. "Naruto, I swear if you mess this up I'm coming after you."
"Whatever you say, 'Suke," Naruto yawned.
Naruto was minding his own business, trying to get Konohamaru to leave him be to read his book when a Suna ninja just had to start being a bully.
"Oi," he called out, eyebrow twitching, "that's my disciple. Let him be."
"Eh?" The puppet-master looked him up and down. "You're hardly old enough to go around calling anyone your disciple, brat."
Naruto frowned. He wasn't that short, was he?
Yes, yes you are, his annoying inner-Sasuke told him. It didn't matter. He was still teaching Konohamaru some of his D-rank jutsu and his ninja way.
"Doesn't matter. Let him be." Naruto was growing more and more annoyed as the time Konohamaru spent hanging in midair by his collar grew. Sure, he was a brat at times, but he hated bullies. "I said," he said, voice lowering, as red bled into his eyes, "Let him be, or I'll kill you." He didn't often threaten people that way- but he'd grown fond of Konohamaru's gang, irritating as they were. Of course, he didn't actually have any intent to kill them and start an international incident, but it was rather risky standing in the street of a neighboring village and manhandling the kage's grandchild. He needed to keep this to minimal damage. Kami forbid Ebisu come walking by and throw a hissy fit.
And Uzumaki Naruto wasn't one to stand by while someone got picked on. Unless they deserved it, in which case he pointed and laughed. Like the time Sakura had shoved Sasuke into a lake.
Something about him made the older boy step back, hand opening as if in reflex and dropping Konohamaru on his backside. Both he and the girl with the fan strapped to her back went pale, staring at him with mouths agape.
"Y-you're just like-" Kankuro stuttered.
Naruto's demeanor changed in an instant. "Thank you, Puppet-Man!" he gushed, skipping up to Konohamaru. "Let's go, my little disciple."
"Wow, boss," Konohamaru stared up at him in awe. "Will you teach me to do that?"
"Nope!"
"Aww!"
"Naruto, what are you doing?" Sasuke asked from a tree, irritation coating his voice.
"I'm playing ninja with Konohamaru, Sasuke! Can't you see that?" Naruto said, just to make Sasuke facepalm.
One burst of sand later, a redheaded boy with the kanji for love tattooed (carved?) onto his forehead was standing less than a foot away from him, staring with an eerie, eerie expression. Both Suna ninja pretty much squeaked.
"What are you?" the boy asked. "Mother wants your blood."
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto stuck his hand out. It hovered there; the boy didn't reciprocate. He instantly recognized the pull of a Bijuu's chakra within the boy. "Want to be friends? Too late, I'm your friend now, no take-backs! Are you here for the chuunin exams? Well, of course you are, why else would you be here this time of year. I hope you do well. I can tell you're strong, and not just because of lil raccoon-y here. You're so cute, you know that? Panda-chan! Say Puppet-Man, what're your names?" he asked, zeroing in on the first one as he forcefully shook Gaara's hand.
"I'm K-Kankuro," the boy replied, having taken several steps away from them. "Th-that's Temari, and that's…Gaara." His eyes were on Gaara's and Naruto's linked hands.
"Awesome! I'll see you in the exams, Gaara!" Naruto cheered, taking off down the street at something in between a sprint and a canter with Konohamaru in tow.
Gaara stared and stared and stared at his hand, and his siblings gulped.
Bad things happened when Team Seven played Monopoly.
"Sasuke," Kakashi said through gritted teeth. The chuunin exams were the next morning, and rather than do something constructive, like train, Naruto had forced them all into Kakashi's apartment to play a board game. "You're walking a thin line."
"Pay up, sensei," Sasuke smirked, holding out his hand. Bitterly, Kakashi handed him the fake bills.
Naruto and Sasuke had, apparently, decided to team up. Naruto, the banker, sat beside the Uchiha heir with a matching smirk. Sakura was seething beside him.
The clock struck one a.m. Sakura, practically breathing fire, slammed her fist down hard enough to make all the figures on the board jump half a space. "You're going down, loser," she said, sending Sasuke the most livid glare Kakashi had ever seen on a kunoichi.
"Bring it, pinky," Sasuke shot back. Sparks flew as the two engaged in a stare-down.
"Shouldn't you three be sleeping?"
"We're used to only using four hours of sleep," Sasuke replied, not taking his eyes off Sakura. It was a bit creepy how he said 'using' as if sleep were only an optional construct he could choose to partake in.
"I don't sleep much anyway," Naruto shrugged. "At night." He added, when he saw Kakashi's mask shift as he opened his mouth. He napped quite a bit during the daylight hours. Night hours were his best inspiration hours.
"Coffee," Sakura bit out. "None of us leave until Sasuke's a poor, hotel-less hobo."
Sweatdropping, Kakashi leaned away from her.
This proved, in hindsight, to be a wise action, but not an action great enough. Mere minutes later, the sound of something like an explosion rocked the whole neighborhood, waking the neighbors and making a pack of dogs start up barking. The woman who lived next to him started screaming. Kakashi didn't hear her over trying to get Sakura's hands off Sasuke's neck.
"All right, my cute little genin," Kakashi's eyes twinkled, "do your best." And break a record or something. Subconsciously, he'd become a little competitive, to say the least.
One week earlier.
"Kiba's already got Fang over Fang down," Kurenai smiled, shifting her grip on the coffee cup in her hand. "Hinata's doing splendidly with the D-rank genjutsu I gave her. I think she's ready for a few C-rank, possibly a B-rank."
She and Asuma spoke over the coffee machine, while Gai ranted to a sweating Hayate about Lee. Kakashi sat on a couch focused on his book, not making a move to help Hayate, who was only in the jounin lounge to take a message to Asuma about a mission he'd be sent on in a few days.
"Their teamwork is getting pretty strong," Asuma was saying, and something nagged at Kakashi all through the conversation.
"Speaking of teamwork," he said with an eye-smile, looking up from his reading. "I think my team's gotten pretty good at that. They've already taken down a B-rank missing nin without my help." All right, so what if he gloated a little?
"By themselves?" Kurenai asked, clearly shocked. "Kakashi, they're children!"
"That's impressive, my Eternal Rival!" said Gai, appearing at his side with a gleam on his painfully white-toothed grin. "I would expect nothing less from young shinobi under your splendid tutelage! What other feats have they accomplished?"
Team Seven was a well-oiled machine in battle. With Kakashi's help- and evidently some practice with the 'Meiji-san' friend of Sakura's- Naruto's fuinjutsu had risen from beginner and intermediate levels to advanced and beyond. He had a talent for it- nothing less from an Uzumaki. Kakashi was already forming plans to somehow acquire what had been salvaged from Uzushiogakure after its destruction. The remains had been locked in a vault and hadn't seen air for years.
"Well, Naruto's fuinjutsu has risen to a level I'm afraid really only Jiraiya-sama can teach him now," he said innocently, inwardly snickering when their eyes went wide. "Or perhaps the Third. His taijutsu is excellent- he's definitely a heavy-hitter, as well as an explosions specialist. He took down Momoichi Zabuza with a barrage of exploding kage bunshin. Oh, you didn't remember? He stole the Forbidden Scroll under duress from a teacher," he beamed, repeating the line his genin used. "As for Sasuke, I've taught him many of the fire and lightning jutsu I know. We can't really practice the higher-ranking ones much, lest we burn down the forest. As for Sakura, she's a competent medic. She also seems to be copying Tsunade-sama's technique, amazingly, as she put her fist through a solid cement wall the other day. I've let her and Sasuke have some A-rank genjutsu. Naruto's behind on that, but it's only because he has so much chakra, so he's on C-ranks and B-ranks. As a team, I'm sure they'll all make chuunin." Kakashi knew he was bragging. He also knew he probably shouldn't give other contestants information on his team's skills, but it really wouldn't help Teams Eight and Ten anyway. They were too far behind, and besides, it gave his team more of a challenge. As soon as they made the Bingo books, they'd face enemies who knew information about them beforehand; it was practice.
For a moment, Asuma and Kurenai were silent. "I thought they were-" Kurenai began, stopping short.
"Well," Asuma said, a bit awkwardly. "They aren't really like they were in the Academy. They're the ones who've been emptying the D-rank pool."
"Seriously?" Kurenai gave him a shocked expression. "That's why Team Eight hasn't been able to take a C-rank yet!"
"Terribly sorry about that," Kakashi chuckled, not sorry at all. "We're abstaining from missions for training, so you'll need to get your C-rank in this week if you're planning on entering them, Kurenai-san," he paused, eyeing her. "Are you planning on entering them?"
"I-I am, yes," she replied, but she was unsure. Her eyes darted to the side.
He turned back to his book, eye-smile in place. "We should have a team spar, my Eternal Rival!" Gai yelled, raising his fist into the air.
"I'm sure my students would win, Gai," Kakashi allowed, grin widening. He'd seen Gai's students in action. "But that will have to be postponed…until we find out who makes chuunin." He wasn't tooeager to have them exposed to Gai's…Gai-ness.
"Of course," Gai nodded.
"Sounds like your brats are a bit over-prepared, Kakashi," said Hayate, sliding towards the door with a smile. "I'll enjoy seeing their fights."
Kakashi's eyes turned, impossibly, farther into a U-shape. "I will too."
Sasuke stepped into the examination room and was immediately assaulted.
"Sasuke-kun!" Ino squealed, evidently having forgotten about his death-slash-torture threat.
"Get off, Ino," Sasuke deadpanned. "You're making a scene."
"I'm so happy to see you!" Ino continued.
Sakura cringed, leaving Sasuke to his fate. They'd silently passed by the second-floor illusion, leaving a mob to stupidly complain.
Well, they'd tried to silently pass by the mob.
A green menace had appeared to challenge Sasuke, evidently intent on proving his love to Sakura, who he'd developed an instant-crush on.
Sakura was…Naruto was weirded out by his female teammate, really.
Sakura stared, and stared, and stared.
"Well, you're probably stronger than most chuunin," she said, a glint entering her eye. "And that's really attractive." Lee blinked. Several times. "So sure, I might go on a date with you, but only after we get to know each other. And have a training session." A scowl flashed across her face. "You almost beat Sasuke-kun, so I want to know how good you are." She slammed her fist into her open palm, creating a small shockwave.
Hearts appeared in Lee's eyes, and Naruto knew the two would marry one day.
"Ah, youth," Gai sighed.
Sasuke and Lee's match had been cut short by Gai before a winner could be deduced.
Upon hearing he was 50 to 49 in his running bet with Kakashi, Team Seven had retreated to a corner and widened their betting pool to include Gai.
"Hey, Naruto," Kiba called out, wearing a grin as he walked up with Shino and Hinata in tow. "Heard from my sensei you're supposed to be super strong or something. You still a dead last?"
Naruto didn't hear him. He was too busy reading, and scanning the room for the Suna team. He spotted Gaara, lifting one hand to wave with a bright grin. The redhead stared at him with a blank expression.
"H-hey! Don't ignore me!"
"You people are making a scene," Kabuto sighed as he appeared and adjusted his glasses. "I'm Kabuto-"
Naruto instantly hated him.
"Go away," he hissed, demeanor shifting instantaneously.
"W-what?" the silver-haired youth stammered.
"I loathe you," Naruto snapped, venom seeping out of him. "Get away from me." He took three and a half steps back, just enough to place himself at Izuna's side.
He couldn't pinpoint exactly why he hated Kabuto, but his senses were screaming for him to get the hell out of Dodge.
Snakes, the Kyuubi hissed.
"You heard him," Sasuke said coldly, pointing his sword at Kabuto's throat. Sakura was right by his side, her own katana out of its sheath and pressing against Kabuto's Adam's apple.
W-when did they move?! Kabuto thought wildly. "C-come on, guys," he laughed.
Teams Eight and Ten watched wide-eyed. "W-what the heck, Sakura?" Ino stuttered.
Kill him, kill him now, Kurama yelled. He was irrational, wild-eyed, because as much as he denied it, he did care for Naruto, and he momentarily forgot the repercussions that killing Kabuto would bring down on his host. All he knew was there was danger present. A dark air hung around the shinobi, something drenched in human suffering. He'd felt such things before, when his hosts had raided labs and prisons soaked with the blood of innocents and the toils of human experimentation.
"Naruto?" Izuna asked, as wide-eyed as the rest.
"Follow him," Naruto whispered. "Don't let him out of your sight." Izuna nodded.
An explosion rocked the room. "That's enough, brats," the examiner yelled. "You can quit trying to impress each other."
Naruto relaxed by a margin. As soon as his eyes landed on the head examiner, he grinned. "Ibiki," he yelled, waving. "Frank says hello."
Ibiki twitched. "Just come get your seat number, you brat."
Naruto stared at his test with a blank expression. An idea popped into his head.
Ibiki-san,
I know that I am a genin and therefore my word is not worth much, but you should look into Kabuto. Maybe sick Anko on him? The Kyuubi hates him. He smells of snakes and human suffering. He is too suspicious. Please tell the Hokage I have Izuna following him; don't worry, jiji will know what that means. As well as the ghost in his office.
Thank you! :3
He proceeded to draw an overly-cute chibi figure of a mole giving a thumbs-up before he took a nap.
Ibiki-san, Sakura wrote, I know that I am probably overreacting, but you should investigate Kabuto-san. It's not the word of a genin I go off of, rather the word of a Jinchuriki who I have never seen react so vehemently against someone, not even people who've tried to kill him. P.S. I have permission from Naruto to speak of his status to those in the ranks who know of it. Please confirm with Hokage-sama if suspicious of me.
She proceeded to fill out the test so completely there was no blank space, going over several theories on how to solve each individual problem and explaining several different ways to find the answer.
Head Examiner:
Kabuto is most likely a traitor. Naruto tells me you're the head of the T&I Division. Please react accordingly.
Sasuke filled out around a third of the questions, twitching when he saw Sakura going to town. Damn her.
He sat and listened to Ibiki drone on about the final question, intimidating team after team into leaving. Morons, Sasuke twitched wildly. Did they have no drive? No determination? No ambition?
He looked over to Naruto, only to find him asleep at his desk. His fist clenched, breaking his pencil.
No, no drive at all.
"Well then," Ibiki was continuing, "you've passed the f-"
The window burst open in a haze of glass, making everyone in the near vicinity wince and cover their eyes. A woman landed at the head of the class, four kunai stretching a wide banner behind her. "Yo, brats! I'm your second proctor, Mitarashi Anko! Don't forget it!"
Oh, Kami, she's just like Naruto, Sasuke thought, sweating.
Oh, Kami, she's just like Naruto, Sakura giggled.
Naruto woke up in with a shake of his head, yawning. Ibiki twitched at him.
"Follow me to the second exam!" Anko pumped one fist into the air, jumping out the window again. Sasuke and Sakura were on her heals, Sasuke dragging Naruto by the collar.
Ibiki walked over to Naruto's desk, still scowling, with his teammates' tests in hand. Brat thinks he can just sleep through my whole exam, eh? He thought, picking up the exam. Not even write a thing-
He paused.
"Mana," he said, calling out to one of his proctors, "get me the Hokage."
"The Forest of Death, huh?" Naruto asked, squinting up at the gates. "Me n' Sasuke n' Sakura spent a few weeks in there once."
"Eh?" Anko paused in her introduction, eyebrow twitching. What kind of brat ruined her scary exam speech like that?
"Be careful of the west region, Tenten," Sakura yelled out, cupping her hands around her mouth. "There are tigers there bigger than horses!"
In an instant, Anko was behind her, a kunai resting against the girl's cheek. "Think you're all tough, do you?" she grinned.
"Statistically, no," Sakura replied, unintentionally channeling her teammates' social obliviousness as she took the question literally. "Stacked against the other Konoha genin I can honestly say I have good, even great chances but the foreign teams are a mystery, so it would be preemptive to say we're 'tough'. The Suna and Sound teams are especially strong challengers, so-"
"Sakura, I think that was a rhetorical question," Naruto said, eyes on the notebook in his hand.
"Oh. Well then…yes? No? I'm not sure of the correct answer." Frowning, Sakura raised her fist and knocked the kunai away at a speed that wasn't so much something Anko couldn't match as something she wasn't expecting from a genin.
Anko blinked. Grinned. "Aw, Kakashi's brats are actually not so pathetic."
"You dropped this," a Sound nin purred from behind her, holding the kunai out with his tongue.
Team Seven stared blankly, before taking a collective step away from the creepy shinobi and regrouping in a formation less than half a foot away from each other. "Better go get our forms," Sasuke said mildly, leading them towards the booth outside the fence.
"Watch him," Naruto whispered to Toka. She nodded. "And get the others."
"Naruto, the snake is heading straight for you."
"Damnit."
By "get the others", he'd told Toka to gather the other ghosts who were willing to help him. Around twenty of them were dispersed through the Forest in their area watching for either Kabuto or the creepy Sound nins.
"What do we do?" Sakura asked, chewing her lip.
"Get out of Dodge," Sasuke replied. "Something about that one is off. They're no normal genin." He didn't quite know if the Sound nin was male or female. He didn't care either way.
"You have three minutes before the snake reaches you," said Shin, the Yamanaka hovering over Naruto's shoulder.
"Crap." They'd gotten their scrolls, but Naruto knew the shinobi must have a different motive to beeline straight for them.
Brat, I'm ninety percent sure that's Orochimaru heading for you, Kurama warned. Inside Naruto's mindscape, his nostrils were flared as he paced back and forth, shrunk down to a more manageable size.
"Double crap. Shin, go to the Hokage's office. I don't know how you're going to warn him, but you have to find a way. Orochimaru is here."
"Be careful," said Shin, sinking into the ground with a worried glance at Naruto.
"We have less than three minutes to set up a level five," Naruto said, and his teammates paled.
Rule One: Examine the level of firepower needed to eliminate target.
Target: Sannin-level. Therefore, full firepower.
Unfortunately, he had no idea where the other genin teams were, so he had to keep it semi-contained.
Naruto's kage bunshin dashed to and fro, attaching various exploding tags to the trees around them. "I hate having to use up so much of my arsenal," Naruto complained. He'd emptied a good portion of the two large packs hanging off each hip. "But sannin are sannin. Just our luck the first one we get to meet ever is the whacko traitor."
"Aw, is that how you think of me?" a voice purred from behind him. Naruto whirled around and lashed out on instinct with his katana, slicing through nothing but hair. "I have to say, I thought you'd be weaker than that."
"What do you want?" Sasuke asked, well, ordered, really. Only one minute and thirty seconds had passed, and Naruto cursed.
"I've come to offer you power, Sasuke-kun," Orochimaru smiled, sliding up to stand on a tree, and alarm bells went off in Naruto's head.
"What do you mean 'offer him power'?" he asked, squinting.
Shin burst into the Hokage's to find the old man talking to a group of shinobi about strengthening the security protocols, setting a watch on Kabuto, and, strangely, investigating Danzo. Naruto must have had something to do with that. "Hey, old man!" he yelled, floating through one of the jounin and making him shiver. "Get off your backside, there's a snake in the forest."
No response. "Damnit. Hokage-sama, never before have I regretted being dead so much."
"Shin, what's the matter?" Tobirama asked, frowning.
Shin looked up and blinked. "Orochimaru's attacking Naruto's team," he explained, gesturing with his hands. "Naruto sent me to warn him, but I don't know how."
Tobirama went ramrod straight, frown deepening. He cast a glance at Sarutobi, stepping out from behind the desk. "Stay here and try to work out a way to inform him."
"What are you going to do?" Shin asked, befuddled.
Tobirama smirked at him.
"Pedophile!" Naruto screamed, unleashing a volley of green clay orbs the size of golf balls. Orochimaru easily avoided the explosions, sending him an irritated look.
"I only want his body!" the sannin yelled.
"How does that make this any better?" Sasuke shouted back, disgust written across his face.
"He's twelve!" Sakura screeched.
Irritation piquing, Orochimaru slammed his hand into a tree. "Crap!" Naruto said again, just before a snake big enough to wrap around the Kyuubi sent him barreling through the forest.
"Naruto!" Sakura yelled, leaping to go after him.
"Sakura, dodge!" Sasuke tackled her, narrowly saving her from Orochimaru's sword. It sliced through four trees where her body would have been.
Orochimaru grinned. "Let's have some fun," he said, licking his lips.
"Oi, scaley! You hungry?" Naruto yelled, bouncing a clay ball the size of a bowling ball in his hand. It was a frightening red.
The snake turned its predatory eyes towards him, gleaming in the darkness of the forest. "Come get it, ugly!" Naruto cackled, running right for its mouth.
The maw opened up to swallow him, the snake lunging forward in a terrifying game of chicken.
Naruto tossed the orb down its gullet, the ninja wire he'd attached to his sword stopping him short and swinging him back around to a tree.
The explosion rocked the forest.
"What the hell?" Kankuro muttered, looking up at the sky as birds burst from the trees.
"It was that boy," Gaara said, startling his siblings. "That boy…Uzumaki."
Then, he said one thing that made both of them start to freak out. "Mother is…afraid of him."
Sasuke decided after that day he hated snakes. He was going to find a summoning contract that specifically hunted snakes. Like hawks, or something.
He and Sakura had engaged the sannin in taijutsu together, and although they were able to fend him off for a few minutes, they were still losing quite badly. A myriad of cuts decorated their skin from the sannin's blade, which frankly creeped them the hell out. Who keeps their sword down their throat?
Seeing Orochimaru up close and personal really disgusted them both.
"Enough of this! It's time for you to accept my gift, Sasuke-kun," Orochimaru said, a crazed look in his eye as his head detached from his body through a stretchable neck and how was this guy not being hunted down?
"How is that not rapey?" Sakura screamed. Her hair, shoulder-length before was singed. She'd have to cut it to ear-length.
Orochimaru's teeth darted towards him like a bolt of lightning.
An explosion rocked the forest floor. They all stumbled, battle pausing momentarily, as Naruto came careening through the trees.
"Not today, bastard!" he yelled, and then his arm extended.
His hand transformed into a beast's appendage before their eyes, covered in bright orange-red fur, growing claws the size of their arms and legs. He snatched Orochimaru around the neck, tossing him like a ragdoll through the forest, the orange fur growing all the way up to his shoulder.
Pale in the face, Naruto retracted the arm, and it shifted back into his normal human limb. It fell limp to his side, and he placed his other hand on its elbow wincing.
"Naruto," Sasuke called in alarm. "Are you all-"
"First time I succeeded," Naruto interrupted with a weak chuckle, "g-guess I should be happy, right?"
Orochimaru popped back with a scowl, steam practically rising off him. They stared at him with widened eyes. "All right, play time is over-" he began.
Tobirama came racing through the trees behind him, a scowl planted deeply on his face. "You leave those children alone, you self-righteous, arrogant brat," he growled, and then he leapt into Orochimaru's body.
Startled, Sasuke and Sakura took a step back as the sannin's body jolted. His eyes rolled back in his head and foam started to leak from his mouth, body shaking and jerking about in a grotesque way as they gaped.
"G-guys, run now," Naruto yelled, stumbling towards them. Sasuke sprinted for him, lifting an arm over his shoulder, and took off after Sakura as she beelined for the tower. "Thanks, Nidaime-sama!" he called over his shoulder.
They'd only spent a day in the forest, but the stupid Sound team deciding to attack them made them take three days to play a sick game of cat-and-mouse avoiding them. Team Seven wasn't in shape to fight them, with Naruto randomly falling unconscious, and Sakura was too low on chakra to heal them. Every time they bandaged themselves up, they ran into an ambush, gaining new wounds and losing stamina as they constantly ran.
Naruto, of course, had a plan. He knew by running so much the team would think they were too weak to fight at all, so when they hunkered down in the trunk of a hollowed-out tree, he set the whole place with explosives. They'd managed to find an actual hiding place, as all their previous ones were discovered almost as soon as they found them.
He thought it was poetic justice, seeing as they all had Sound based attacks, that their eardrums would be busted by the time he was done with them.
And then he made kage bunshin copies of his team, and slipped away through a literal tunnel they'd made with an earth-style technique Kakashi had taught them.
Naruto's only regret was that he wouldn't be around to see them scream.