Chapter 11 A : The Fifth Hokage: Rasenshuriken!
"Here you are, Naruto. You now hold the rank of chuunin," Iruka said, eyes shining. Naruto slipped it on over the shirt he'd fought Neji in- it was his favorite, as he'd made it himself. As a school child. He wished Neji could know the irony.
Kami, is he going to cry? Naruto thought, sweating. He adjusted his gloves, copies of Jiraiya's, and tried not to fidget.
"The last order of business," Sarutobi said in clear amusement, "would you like to remain as a squad with your current team? You will have solo missions, but you will remain a squad and take team missions as well."
Naruto beamed. "You bet, old man!"
Iruka sniffled. Jolting, Naruto gave him a wary glance, sweat rolling down his face in buckets. "I-Iruka-sensei?"
"It's nothing," the chuunin said quickly, face turning to stone. "Nothing at all."
Still sweating, Naruto laughed nervously. "Right."
Sakura slipped the chuunin vest on, feeling satisfaction well up in her. She couldn't wait to tell Lee!
"Finally, would you like to remain with your former genin team as a squad?" the Hokage asked.
She gave him her brightest smile. "Of course, sir!"
Sasuke pulled the vest on over his shirt, zipping it up. His expression was blank, but he was smirking inside.
"Sasuke," said Sarutobi, "one last thing. Would you like to remain on team seven as a squad?"
"No doubt, Hokage-sama," he replied coolly.
"Well, Kakashi, they all said yes…" Sarutobi trailed off when Kakashi slowly emerged from behind his Icha Icha book, alligator tears streaking down his cheeks.
"My- my cute little genin," he sniffled. "Th-they're not cute little genin anymore!" he wailed.
"They're cute little chuunin," he went on, interrupting the Hokage when he tried to speak. "I-I'm so proud!" He started sobbing into his sleeve, making everyone in the room, alive or not, uncomfortable.
"…I pronounce Team Seven to be Squad Seven," Sarutobi finished.
Iruka patted Kakashi on the shoulder. "There, there," he said awkwardly.
Naruto tried in vain to get Kakashi to stop sniffling. "Sensei," he deadpanned, "you're embarrassing us."
"Naru-chan is so mean to me," Kakashi muttered. Naruto rubbed his forehead, wishing the undead weren't watching.
Hashirama chuckled under his breath from behind Sarutobi. The photographer tapped his foot as he became impatient.
"Would you idiots hurry up? This shouldn't be a grand affair," Sasuke hissed.
"Careful, Sasuke-kun," Naruto beamed, "you sound like Orochimaru when you hiss like that."
Sasuke blanched, looking even paler than usual. "Ouch," Izuna whistled, floating up through the floor. "Hey, Naruto, if I photobomb you will it show up on film?"
"Izuna?" Hashirama asked, stunned.
"Oh. Hey. 'Sup." Izuna waved, floating up to start poking Kakashi and snickering when he shuddered.
Toka came flying through the door, face contorted in rage. "You no-good sleaze!" she screamed.
Izuna whirled around with a grin. "Toka-chan," he said in a cheerful tone.
"Oh," Toka paused to bow, "hello, Hashirama-sama." Her visage changed once she turned to Izuna. "You. Me. Outside, now." She grabbed him by the throat and threw them both outside through a wall.
Jiraiya came in through the window at the same time, shuddering when they passed through him. "You keep it cold in here, sensei," he said, much to the confusion of the Hokage. "Anyway, what did you need, brat? I was doing valuable research."
"Shut up," Naruto told him, making a depression cloud come down over his head. He grabbed Jiraiya by the sleeve, as he couldn't reach his ear, and dragged him over while the man looked on in total confusion.
"Okay," Sakura said, nudging Sasuke to the right so she could shimmy in between her squad-mates. Kakashi stepped up behind them, eye curving upward, and Jiraiya stood there in befuddlement.
Naruto sent him a dry look. "Ero-sennin, duck in for the photo," he whispered as Kakashi put his hand on his head, much the same way he had for their first picture as Team Seven.
Jiraiya blinked before exploding, waterfalls streaming from his eyes. "YOU WANT ME IN THE PHOTOOO?"
"Not if you don't settle down," Naruto said flatly. Kakashi chuckled.
Jiraiya huddled down slightly so he would be in the shot, one hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Smile," the photographer said dryly.
Sakura grinned, showing off her megawatt smile. Sasuke's expression was blank, but pleasant, and Naruto was mid eye-roll, but pleased.
The camera flashed.
Naruto felt happy.
They'd only been at the toads' mountain for a few days, but Jiraiya was itching to ask. As Naruto meditated, gathering sage chakra, he fiddled around on his own platform on a spire.
Naruto had clammed up when they'd gotten there- he was polite, but he hardly showed any emotion. Sighing, the boy opened one eye. "What is it, ero-sennin?"
Jiraiya sweatdropped. "Why haven't you said a word to me about your parents, brat?"
Naruto tossed him a bland look. "I didn't see any need to."
"I was your father's teacher."
"I know."
"I know a lot about him," Jiraiya hinted. When Naruto closed his eyes, he faceplanted, nearly dislodging him from his platform. "Seriously?! Don't you want to know anything?!"
Naruto's eyes flew open. "No. Why would I when it would only tell me what I never had?" he snapped.
Jiraiya gaped, mouth open like a fish. "…oh."
Naruto sighed. "I need some help studying the Hiraishin, though. Think you can help me with that?"
Jiraiya nodded wordlessly.
"This is not fair."
Naruto smirked, opening inhuman eyes and looking as if he were wearing orange eyeshadow. "Dunno what you're talking about, this is easy."
Jiraiya crossed his arms childishly and glared. "What's your sennin form, then?" Naruto asked, raising one thin eyebrow.
"…about the same," Jiraiya replied, huffing.
"Come on, show me."
"I don't feel like it."
"Coward."
"Jiraiya the Gallant is no coward!"
"Then show me!"
Twitching, Jiraiya slammed his hands together. "Fine!"
Naruto watched disinterestedly as he gathered sage chakra. Slowly, his appearance changed, parts of his face bulging and becoming more toad-like.
Jiraiya opened his eyes, sending Naruto a triumphant look, only to fall flat on his face. Naruto threw his head back, laughing loud enough to wake the slumbering toads a ways off.
"Ah-ahahahahahahah," Naruto covered his mouth to try and stop laughing. He took another look at Jiraiya's face and started to shriek, rolling backwards and off the slab of stone he sat on.
Jiraiya pouted, but paused, staring at his expression. "That's the first time I've seen him smile," he thought to himself.
Naruto turned the page, relaxing to the sound of crickets and ribbits around him. His eyes hopped a few sentences to where the main character delivered his speech.
"Hey. Naruto."
"What," Naruto replied, without taking his eyes off his book.
Jiraiya poked at the food the toads had given him, grimacing. Naruto, shockingly, had eaten everything he'd gotten without complaint. "Why do you read my book all the time?"
"I only read it every once in a while," Naruto replied.
"You read it every single day. Sometimes more than once," Jiraiya accused, crossing his arms.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "So?"
"Why do you? It was never popular; it's not very good," Jiraiya complained.
Naruto shrugged. "It's fine, ero-sennin."
"That doesn't tell me why you read it all the time," Jiraiya twitched.
"Maybe I'll tell you someday," Naruto said, starting to ignore him again. Maybe he would…if Jiraiya stuck around.
"What exactly do you want?" Naruto muttered, knelt by Jiraiya's side as the sannin snored. He didn't understand why Jiraiya had been so adamant about training him- he was a bit guilty to admit he hadn't been the best guest, either. Sometimes he did feel bad when he brushed Jiraiya off…like Izuna said, he was like a puppy.
He stared at Jiraiya's sleeping face, mouth wide open and a bit of drool leaking out of his mouth. This man was so…so…utterly goofy. His stupid dance routines, his drama, even his perverted nature was…endearing.
It scared Naruto. He didn't want to like Jiraiya. He didn't want to get attached only to find out Jiraiya was only training him out of obligation, and didn't even really care about Naruto as a person at all. He didn't want Jiraiya to disappear for another decade or so because he liked wandering around for booze and women more than him.
He poked Jiraiya's cheek. "Eheheheheh," the man swatted at his arm. "Stop it, sensei, I know that jutsu already."
Naruto couldn't help a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. Goofy was so accurate.
The worst thing was, when he was around this stupid person he wanted to be goofy too.
Shaking his head, Naruto stood up, giving Jiraiya's grinning face one last look.
"You're so troublesome, godfather."
"Jiji is retiring?" Naruto asked, mouth open in a frown.
"Yeah, kid. He's decided already, so might as well not argue with him," Jiraiya said, leaning against the windowsill. They sat in a restaurant booth, conveniently near to one of the village's hot springs.
Naruto raised his eyebrow. "Who did he pick to succeed him?"
"Well, initially he wanted to choose me-" Jiraiya scowled when Naruto covered a snort. "Don't laugh, you little brat!"
"Y-you as Hokage," Naruto snickered. "You'd never get any paperwork done because you'd be too busy 'researching'." He used air quotes with the word.
"Anyway," Jiraiya glared, "we're going to find the new Hokage."
"Let me guess, some other teammate you have."
"…"
"Are you kidding me."
"…we leave a week from today."
"I FOUND HIM!"
Naruto shrieked, flipping off his bed and onto the floor. For once, he'd gone back to his apartment, which he kept up the rent on in case he was feeling too lazy to walk all the way back to the Uchiha District. He was a heavy sleeper, but he'd only been dozing when Izuna had come flying in through a wall.
"What? What? What?!" he yelled, leaping up with a kunai in hand.
Izuna's eyes were shining. "I found Madara," he grinned.
Naruto stared. "…and you woke me up why?"
Izuna scowled at him. "Seriously?" Naruto shrugged. "…okay, he's kind of stuck in a cave and I need you to lead him out."
Naruto rolled his eyes. Some ghosts became attached, or bound, to certain places, and for some reason, he could let them leave and roam. "Fine," he grumbled. He yanked on a pair of shorts and rubber boots he kept for going out in the rain.
Izuna sweatdropped as he left his apartment in nothing but said boots and the shirt he wore to bed, a T-shirt too large for him with a shuriken on the front.
Izuna led him over the walls, out of the village, and through the forest, keeping a pace anyone else from Naruto's age group would find grueling. They finally happened upon the cave he'd mentioned, nearly collapsed at the front, the opening filled with rocks and boulders.
"Seriously," Naruto muttered. Izuna slipped inside easily, and Naruto began to shimmy and squeeze through the openings to get further in.
Water dripped from stalactites, falling into his hair and making him shiver. Gravel skidded beneath his feet, nearly making him lose his balance a few times before he finally emerged into a small space that had once been quite large. He looked around until he found the white glow of the ghosts, walking towards them and pausing before he got too close.
Uchiha Madara was a weary-looking person even in death. Upon closer inspection, Naruto recognized several traits he'd seen in Sasuke and Izuna; the long, spiky black hair, the pale complexion, even his facial structure. He sat cross-legged against the wall, looking much older than his appearance. Izuna knelt by his side, whispering things Naruto couldn't decipher with his hands on his brother's shoulders.
Naruto stepped closer, wary but interested. He had no illusions about who was in front of him; he knew Madara had betrayed the Leaf and forced Kurama's hand…er, paw. Uchiha Madara had been a dangerous person.
But he couldn't help but feel a little pity, too. The way he looked at Izuna was the way one looked at their whole world after it had been taken from them.
Izuna wheeled around, shaking his head. "Naruto, you're never gonna guess what he wanted to do to the moon."
"What were you on when you made that plan?" Naruto asked, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. He'd taken Madara and Izuna back to the Uchiha District, figuring it might be wise to keep them and the former Hokages separated for the moment. Madara gave him a dry look, opening his mouth, but Naruto cut him off. "Because I want some. It sounds trippy."
"Shut it, brat," Madara snapped, glaring at him as a tick grew on his brow.
Izuna slapped him hard on the back. "Be nice, Madara-nii. He saved you!" he said cheerily.
"How long were you stuck in a cave?" Naruto asked. Madara was once again cut off, this time by Izuna.
"For, like, fifteen years," he complained. "You wouldn't believe how determined he was to do his stupid moon plan! I spent, like, two weeks talking him out of it."
"Figures you'd be the only one able to convince him." Naruto rolled his eyes.
By the way Madara's expression was twitching, Naruto figured his life was about to become one big headache. Madara might need a little more convincing before he really gave up.
Sakura came bursting into Team Gai's training ground with a whirlwind of leaves, instantly zeroing in on her 'beloved'.
The damage to the village had been minimal, and took only a few squads to repair. They were just as strong as ever, especially since the Mist had sent reinforcements to their aid. The genin teams were back to training and taking missions, and during the three days since the end of the exams, Sakura had already completed two C-ranks of her own.
"Lee, my beloved!" She yelled, interrupting him as he was doing what she suspected were a thousand push-ups. Tenten was sharpening some of her weapons, while Neji stared pensively at a tree and Gai cheered along with Lee. She liked being over-enthusiastic with him, as 1) he was the only outlet for the abounding affection she had that wouldn't freak out no matter how far she took it, and would in fact reciprocate it, and 2) she enjoyed the looks on people's faces when she did so.
"Sakura-chan!" He brightened, leaping up and running to meet her while Gai sighed about youth.
"How have you been? Is it exciting being a chuunin? What kind of missions have you taken?" He chattered on, holding her hands in his.
She grinned, standing on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek. He turned as red as he did opening the Third Gate, but it stopped his chatter. "I've been great. I've been on two C-ranks. It's very freeing being able to go on missions by myself and interact with the other chuunin as an equal now," she said. Although Iruka-sensei still treats me like a little kid, but I don't mind.
She glanced over at Neji, who hadn't moved since she had arrived, and spoke behind her hand. "Is he okay?" she whispered.
Lee cast his teammate a sympathetic look. "The Hyuuga clan's council has been called in for investigation by Hokage-sama," he whispered back. "Naruto's words and claims set many people on edge. It's become apparent to many higher-ups that the Caged Bird Seal presents a danger to the village."
Sakura frowned. "A danger?"
"A main branch member could, theoretically, make a side branch member do anything," Lee explained. "Cover up treason, assault, steal things for them and serve as a scapegoat. Any number of things."
"I see. How far is this investigation going?"
She wrapped an arm around one of Lee's as he went to the edge of the training area. "The Hokage and his council have been interrogating both main and side members thoroughly. Just today several Hyuuga have been in court all day. A few of the other clan heads have been involved too."
A glint appeared in Sakura's eyes. "Clan heads, you say? Interesting for you to bring that up…"
Sasuke adjusted his gloves, checking himself in a mirror hanging on the wall. His headband shined bright on his forehead- he'd polished it for an hour that morning, along with the plating on his gloves. He fiddled with the collar of his vest, then tugged at the armband he wore with the Uchiha fan large and visible.
"You look fine, Sasuke," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. They were each in the dark green pants chuunin wore, with orange stripes on the outer side of Naruto's and blue stripes on Sasuke's. Naruto had ditched the shirt he'd been wearing, thankfully- Sasuke didn't want to walk into a council meeting with his squad mate wearing that. Naruto also wore an armband with a slightly more elaborate symbol than the one most chuunin and jounin wore- a show of support for the fallen Uzushiogakure- rather, he wore the full clan emblem.
"We've been planning this for years," Sasuke hissed back. "Don't mess it up."
The door to the council chambers swished open. "Uchiha-san," a woman wearing glasses said politely. "You may enter now. Uzumaki-san, you as well."
Naruto flipped her a salute, following Sasuke inside. He'd never been in the meeting chambers, but wasn't nervous about it; he recognized the genin's parents- most of them clan heads- and Koharu and Homura on either side of Sarutobi.
Hiashi looked stressed. Naruto snickered inwardly.
"Our final order of business today," Sarutobi began, sounding worn-out. As they'd been waiting in the hall, many Hyuuga had streamed past them. "Is concerning the headship of the Uchiha and Uzumaki clans."
From behind him, Hashirama gave Naruto a thumbs-up and a bright grin, making Tobirama roll his eyes at him.
"Sasuke-san is the only remaining member of the Uchiha, sans Uchiha Itachi, current whereabouts unknown," the Third went on. "Naruto-san is one of the last known members of the Uzumaki, and is the only descendent currently having any ties to the former clan leadership."
"How is he related to the last known clan leader?" It was Inoichi who asked, though in a curious way and not a scornful one.
"Uzumaki Mito's cousin took leadership of the clan after their father passed away. Her descendants continued as clan head until Uzushiogakure's destruction. Uzumaki Kushina, Naruto's mother, was Mito's great niece. Under normal circumstances, Naruto's third cousin would be in leadership at this time, but we all know why this is not possible," Sarutobi explained.
"Eh?!" Hashirama yelled in a comical way, pointing at Naruto. "You're my great grand nephew, then!"
"Be quiet, Hashirama," Tobirama snapped, making him sink to the floor in depression.
"I fail to see how there is any need for an Uzumaki clan leader," Koharu broke in. "Their clan is destroyed, any remnants in the wind." Tobirama gave her a disapproving look.
"The same could be said for my situation, Utatane-sama," Sasuke said in a flat tone. "However, there are more Uzumaki in this village than Uchiha, so it makes more sense for Naruto to gain headship than it does for me to do so." He stared at her with a blank expression, challenging.
"Eh?" Choza looked around, as if the supposed new Uzumaki member would suddenly appear. "What other Uzumaki are here?"
Sarutobi nodded at an ANBU near the door. She slid it open, gesturing someone inside.
A girl wearing a purple tunic and black thigh-highs stepped in, looking exceedingly nervous as she adjusted her glasses. A long mane of red hair cascaded down her back, and every eye in the room zeroed in on it.
She brightened considerably when she spotted Sasuke and Naruto, hurrying over as quickly as was polite. She hovered around Naruto's shoulder, looking as if she wanted to hold onto his sleeve.
"This is Karin-san," Sarutobi said with a smile. "She was one of our informants during the Sound invasion." Several people began muttering in the background.
"She worked for Orochimaru?" Homura asked in a curious tone, examining her. She hardly looked dangerous.
"That is correct," Naruto answered for her. "She has for a few years now. At some point I began corresponding with her through her summons," he pointed to the tiny, almost unnoticeable raven perched on her shoulder, making several people do a double-take. "Because I'd caught wind of an Uzumaki survivor. Eventually I was able to convince her to hear me out, as she was loyal to Orochimaru at that time, I will admit. However, we met during the chuunin exams, and it was at that point she became one of our spies."
"Oi, Sasuke, lookit that," Naruto said, pointing to one of the gargantuan beasts of the Forest of Death. A bear lumbered by beneath the tree branch they perched on.
"Fantastic, Naruto, I've never seen one of those before," Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes.
"No, I mean that." He pointed again to the splash of red running from the bear. They both stared at it for a moment before darting through the trees, dropping down in front of the bear.
Sasuke slammed one foot into its forehead, making it rear up and let out a roar. It turned away, snapping trees as it went, and dragged itself in the other direction.
Naruto, meanwhile, grabbed the girl on the ground and jumped a safe distance away, setting her on a small boulder. "Are you okay?" he asked, just as Sasuke landed beside him.
The girl looked up, adjusting her glasses, and went wide-eyed. "I…I, uhm, I-I'm fine." She appeared quite amazed with them.
Naruto squinted at her. "Hey, what's your name?" he asked, something clicking in his head. Red hair, a Sound ninja, glasses- "Are you Uzumaki Karin?"
She jumped, fear crossing her face. "H-how did you know my name?" she asked, taking her eyes off Sasuke.
Naruto reached into a pouch and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it to her. "No way," she said. "You're not an Uzumaki! Y-your hair!"
"My dad was from out of clan," Naruto said, taking a seat. He took the letter back, returning it to his pouch. "Last month I told you I was trying to get clan leadership and you would have a place here if I did, remember that?"
She frowned. "I serve Oto," she said stubbornly.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, Orochimaru's so great." She startled at his words. "Let me enlighten you as to what Orochimaru is all about…"
"And that's why I carry my snake-man kit," Naruto finished, holding up said box from nowhere. "To enlighten people to the horrors of what that despicable person does in his laboratories. I have over two hundred photos."
A few people paled, rejecting his offer to see inside. Naruto returned it to the seal on his shoulder.
"Naruto-sama deserves more than anyone to be clan leader!" Karin suddenly burst out, getting irritated with some of their expressions. "He helped fend off a whole invasion, didn't he?! Don't you want us to be able to find our survivors?! You're supposed to be our allies!" she yelled. She'd become quite smitten with him in a platonic way after seeing how powerful he was.
"It's okay, Karin," Naruto whispered, patting her shoulder.
"She's right about that," Shikaku drawled. His eyes were closed as he leaned against his knuckles. "Konohagakure was Uzushiogakure's main ally. If we couldn't stop their destruction, the least we could do- that we owe them, even- is assist their clan in rebuilding."
"They would be a valuable asset. I feel obligated to help in any way to restore the Uzumaki to their former glory," Inoichi pondered, rubbing his chin.
"As for the Uchiha," Homura said, "what benefit would you becoming clan head produce, Sasuke?"
Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "By law, I'm obligated to the position," he said flatly. "I'm the only Uchiha standing, furthermore, I'm the next in line, as my father is dead and my brother is a missing nin. My age is irrelevant, as if I wasn't seen as an adult in the eyes of the law, I would not be a shinobi or a chuunin." He had been dubious on whether or not they would allow his claim when he was a genin- it was seen as a child's rank, even though there were several adult genin still in the village.
"Sasuke-kun is correct," Sarutobi said, unable to keep a smile from slipping out or stop himself from using a more endearing term. "His position is not in question. If I'm right," his eyes twinkled as he looked Sasuke in the eye, "you're only petitioning the council with Naruto-kun to press his rank through, as he does not have the direct relation to a clan head that you do, and his clan was not a Konoha clan."
"Correct," Sasuke replied coolly.
Koharu's eyebrow twitched minutely. "The only one who really needs a vote, then, is Uzumaki there," Shikaku yawned. "Might as well instate Uchiha already. Be weird as hell having a couple kids on the council, but what can ya do?" He shrugged. "Oh well, I vote yes."
"I agree!" Choza boomed, raising his hand.
Sarutobi rubbed his forehead. He hadn't called a vote yet, but once Choza got going…
Inoichi agreed. Tsume said she didn't care, but had no problem with it. Shibi simply nodded in that eerie way the Aburame did everything.
"I see no reason for an issue," Sarutobi said, marking something on a piece of paper. He'd been prepared, evidently. He motioned for an ANBU. "Take these to my office and have them notarized."
Koharu held her tongue, but she was obviously dissatisfied.
"Oh, right," Naruto said, a lightbulb going off over his head. He felt some measure of relief- as soon as the paperwork went through, no one could touch Karin. He wasn't going to let Danzo get his grimy hands on her for her bloodline abilities. He pointed at her head. "I was wondering if I could transfer her to an active genin team since she's already passed a graduation test."
"What? You've already instated her as a shinobi?" Koharu asked, sending the Hokage a frown.
"There was no reason to make a fuss about it," Sarutobi replied serenely. He was the one who controlled his shinobi, not his council, damnit. "She'll be on watch for a few months to ensure her loyalty, but she was helpful in preparing for the invasion. What did you have in mind, Naruto-kun?"
Naruto grinned. "I had the perfect team in mind…"
"Now, Rock Lee, you watch out for her, okay? She's my precious distant cousin," Naruto said with a grin, throwing an arm around Karin's shoulders just to embarrass her.
"Naruto-sama…" She muttered petulantly, flushing.
"I swear on my life no harm will ever come to her, Naruto-kun!" Lee exclaimed, fire burning brightly in his eyes.
"And train her up real good, will you, Gai-sensei?" Naruto beamed.
"I swear on the power of youth," Gai said, tears streaking down his cheeks. "I'm honored you would entrust us with so youthful a task, young Naruto-kun!"
"I agree wholeheartedly! Sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Sensei!"
"Lee!"
"What did you get me into?" Karin muttered sourly.
Naruto flashed her an evil smile. "Sorry about them," Tenten said, grabbing Karin's hand. "Come over here, they'll take a few minutes to de-youthify."
"Finally," Karin said in relief, "someone normal."
"What? He escaped?" Naruto hissed, hand tightening on his fork.
"Unfortunately," Jiraiya said, clearly in a sour mood. They were back in the same restaurant a day before leaving to look for Tsunade, in the same booth, with Jiraiya staring at the same hot springs. "Believe it or not, they were attempting to figure out some way to kill him when one of the security seals broke. Kabuto had managed to slither out of his jail cell and helped him escape."
"Well." Naruto set his fork down. "Damn."
It made a shiver crawl up his spine. Orochimaru was fixated on stealing Sasuke's body, but he was also rather apparent about wanting Naruto dead. Thinking of the fact they had a target painted on their backs from a sannin wasn't comforting.
Jiraiya turned away from the window, catching sight of the nervous expression he wore before he went blank. "Hm? What's wrong, kid?"
"Nothing," Naruto replied, trying not to envision the sight he'd seen when he looked down at seen Orochimaru's sword gone through his abdomen with the man's disjointed head soon behind. "Nothing at all."
Naruto left Karin with a book on intermediate sealing. She was efficient with beginner work- storage seals and their inner workings and such- but hadn't gotten the chance to study in depth.
They'd set her up in one of the Uchiha houses, right across from their own, taking care to turn the electricity and water back on and make sure everything was working properly. It was smaller than the clan head's house, but she liked it well enough- she'd already started decorating.
Sasuke had given the house a flat stare when plants started appearing, sitting on the porch rails and occupying the windows. Apparently, she shared Naruto's obsession with growing things, though she had a penchant for flowers where he was partial to herbs and exotic things that were poisonous. She herself was adept with poisons, and had started to study the subject with him. As soon as her parole was up, she was planning to enroll at the hospital for medical training.
Jiraiya took them on a zigzag path through the country, hopping bars and checking out hot springs and casinos. He was starting to think Tsunade wouldn't be found when they happened upon a demolished castle. Naruto didn't doubt Orochimaru was the cause of that, what with people running screaming about a snake monster.
Night had fallen by the time they entered a town. Jiraiya turned into the doorway of a pub, motioning for him to follow. Naruto promptly rolled his eyes. "You know I'm underage, right?"
"Oh, come on. This is a prime information-gathering spot. Just get a snack and stay out of the adults' way, all right?" Jiraiya snorted, stepping inside.
He stopped not two feet in the door. "Hm…?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.
Jiraiya jolted, screaming as he pointed. "TSUNADE?!"
"Jiraiya?!" A blonde-haired woman parroted. "What are you doing here?"
"Finally! I've been looking everywhere for you! Should've known you'd be in a place like this," Jiraiya complained, walking towards her table.
Five minutes later, Naruto had seated himself at the table, picking at his food as it arrived. He pretended to ignore their conversation, but listened closely.
"What went down with Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked. Naruto, despite himself, admired how shrewd the man was. He may have been goofy, but he was one of the most intelligent people Naruto had ever met.
"Nothing much. We said hello," Tsunade replied, staring at the table. Jiraiya handed his plate to Naruto when he was done with it, who set it on the end of the table, snatching the last piece of dango Jiraiya had left.
Tsunade took out a deck of cards, placing it on the table. "Why have you been looking for me, then?"
Jiraiya shuffled. "The old man is retiring," he said. "He's chosen you as the Fifth Hokage. The Council is in full agreement."
Shizune startled. Tsunade said nothing.
"I'm starting to think that wasn't a wise decision," Naruto said, eyes sharp as he watched their poker game.
"And who's that?" Tsunade asked as she eyed him over her cards.
"He's Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto saw Tsunade jump and rolled his eyes. "Now I'll say that again, Tsunade. Sensei's chosen you. Do you accept?" Everyone at the table waited for her to answer Jiraiya's question.
The silence dragged on. The tension at the table could be cut with a knife.
"Impossible," Tsunade finally snapped. "I refuse."
Jiraiya grinned. "I remember you saying those exact words the first and only time I asked you out," he chuckled.
"Oh, really?" Naruto asked in fake curiosity. "No wonder why she said that, then."
To Tsunade and Shizune's surprise, Jiraiya's head clanged down onto the table as if a boulder had just fallen on him, a dark cloud encasing his upper body. "Why do you hate me so," the man said, waterfalls falling down his cheeks.
"I'm not surprised she didn't accept, though." Naruto closed his eyes, calculating in his head. "She's clearly not cut out for the job. Just look at how old and decrepit she is. Too dumb, not wise enough, she'd never measure up." Let it be said that he didn't mean a word of what he was speaking.
Jiraiya stared at him in utter horror. To his shock, Tsunade just chuckled. "This apprentice is nothing like your previous one, Jiraiya. He's a fool with a bad mouth, just look at him. Funny-looking too."
Naruto resisted the urge to ask why his henohenomoheji shirt always garnered that response. Then again, he was wearing a scarf with toads all over it…
"If anyone, it's you who can't compare to the Fourth," Naruto said, leaning back against the booth and crossing his arms. "You'd never be able to take on his legacy." His eyes were sharp.
"Well, to be fair," Jiraiya said, catching onto what he was doing and grinning. "It's a hard bar to meet. He had all the qualities of someone set to become the greatest ninja of his generation. Solid ninjutsu, a master at fuinjutsu, the intelligence and strength. And nearly as good-looking as his teacher."
"So?" Tsunade said, staring at the card in her hand with narrowed eyes. "None of that stopped him from dying young. Throwing his life away for the sake of the village. Money's one thing…" Her expression narrowed into a glare. "A life's another. To put it all on the line like that, against all the odds… that's a fool's bet."
Naruto's chopsticks snapped in half.
"My grandfather and his successor, they were all so willing to die for the village. Well they're dead all right, and the village is no safer than it ever was."
Naruto stared blankly at the table. "You've changed, Tsunade," Jiraiya said, turning serious. "To say such things…" He eyed Naruto out of the corner of his eye.
"You've forgotten, I'm not as young as I look," Tsunade said, taking a look at the last of her cards. "I'm in my fifties. The years change people."
"Tsuna-chan…" Naruto turned, feeling guilty when he saw Hashirama hovering behind the booth with a heartbroken expression. He didn't know why they'd been followed, but he hardly liked seeing someone with such a kind face looking like that. "What happened to you?" Tobirama stood behind him, arms crossed, wearing a frown of disapproval, as usual.
"Sensei should have known better," Tsunade continued. "What's he been doing? Playing the hero in his old age?"
Naruto pressed his mouth into a thin line. This woman was irritating him more seriously than Jiraiya ever had.
"Playing at Hokage…" Tsunade snorted. "That's a fool's game."
The table exploded.
"Whoa! Naruto!" Jiraiya shouted, shielding his face. "What the hell?"
Patrons coughed and hacked as the smoke cleared away, leaving both sides of the booth to lean away from the demolished table. Crushed wood and broken dishes littered the floor between them, and Shizune sweatdropped, edging away with Tonton in her arms.
"What's your deal now, brat?" Tsunade asked, derision in her voice.
Eyebrow twitching, Naruto willed himself to put his sword away. It was pointed at Tsunade's forehead, although she was unflinching, and his hand shook, making light bounce off the blade at random. "You should know better than to call my father a fool in front of me," he snarled.
Tsunade's eyes went wide. "Where were you when he was being attacked?" Naruto demanded. "Where were you when my mother had the Kyuubi ripped out of her? Where were you they wereimpaled over my body, to save me, not this damned village? Until you go through what he went through, you aren't allowed to call him a fool!" He finished in a scream. "I will beat the smirk off your face before I allow you to say that again. You have no right, you naïve child."
Tsunade blew hot air out through her nose. "Child?" She barked a harsh laugh. "I have about forty years on you, brat. You don't have any room to call me naïve." So he knows about them, then? Did you tell him, Jiraiya?
Naruto gave her a stony look. "Anyone who would say it's a fool's gamble to protect those precious to you is nothing more than a child," he said coldly. "I don't know what's happened to you, but you don't deserve to be Hokage."
Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. "Are you challenging me? Let's take this outside, kid."
"Tsunade-sama, no!" Shizune squeaked.
Five minutes later, they stood across from each other in the street. "Hmph. One of the Legendary Sannin taking on a snotty-nosed genin? I ought to be ashamed of myself," Tsunade sighed.
"Actually, he's a chuunin," Jiraiya corrected her.
"Genin, chuunin, whatever." Tsunade held up a finger.
"Oh, stop trying to show off."
"I don't mean one minute. I mean one finger. It's all I'm gonna need to take you down."
"Naruto-kun, I hate to say this, but she needs a good punch in the face," Tobirama said, bending down to whisper in the boy's ear.
"Tobirama!" Hashirama exclaimed, scandalized.
Tobirama gave him an annoyed glare. "Look at how arrogant she's become, brother."
Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Whatever, let's get on with it, granny."
"Granny?" A vein throbbed on her forehead.
"Let's just hurry up already."
"Fine, then. Come on." She motioned towards herself.
"One moment." Naruto schooled his face into a sleepy-looking expression.
"Wh- you're the one who just said to get started!" Tsunade yelled, pointing at him. Naruto didn't respond. "You brat!"
"Okay, ready!" Naruto said brightly, beaming.
He formed a half-Rasengan in his hand, charging at her quite obviously. As expected, she sent him into the ground, but it was all part of his plan.
"What's the point in teaching him a jutsu he can't master?" Tsunade yelled. Jiraiya stared at them in confusion, knowing full well Naruto had already mastered Rasengan. "You old fool!"
"Ehehehe," Naruto chuckled darkly at the ground, exuding a dark aura. A moment later, he'd appeared directly behind her, proceeding to tap her on the shoulder.
"Wha-?" Tsunade was cut off by Naruto's fist. Jiraiya and Shizune gaped in surprise as she stumbled back, and Naruto balanced on the handle of the kunai he'd dropped at her feet.
"H-how'd you get there?" Tsunade stammered.
Naruto slipped the kunai back into his pouch, no one having seen the grey sealing tag he'd placed on it. "Magic," he said seriously.
Tsunade twitched. "You're arrogant, brat." He wasn't, actually, and had a low opinion of himself, but no one needed to know that. "Let's make a bet."
She motioned to her necklace. "You master that jutsu in one week, I'll admit I'm wrong and that you're worthy of becoming Hokage like your father, and I'll throw in my necklace to boot."
Naruto gave her a deadpan stare. "Why would I want your crappy necklace?" Hashirama faceplanted into the ground, sulking.
"You little-! Just shut up, okay?" Tsunade shouted. "That's the bet!"
"Sure." He shrugged.
Jiraiya facepalmed. "You numbskull," he complained. "That necklace belonged to the First Hokage himself. There are only two like it in the world. That thing's worth three gold mines and the mountains on top of them."
"'The First Hokage himself', you people talk like I don't see him every day," Naruto muttered.
Jiraiya's eyes widened. "Wait, what did you just say?"
"Nothing, ero-sennin. Why don't you go peek on some women? It seems to be all you're good for…"
Jiraiya crumpled to the ground, unknowingly right next to Hashirama, and the depression cloud expanded to cover him as well. "Why do you hate me so…!" he wept.
"Okay, then," Tsunade smirked. "But if you don't win, I get the money from froggy." She held up his wallet.
Naruto went rigid. "Give that back," he hissed, his whole demeanor shifting.
"You know how bets work, don't you kid? You have to bet something too," Tsunade said in amusement.
"Empty it out, I really don't care," Naruto snapped, sword in hand again. "Give the wallet back."
Shizune quickly grabbed the wallet and emptied it into Tsunade's own- which was full of nothing but I.O.U.'s- and handed Gama-chan to Naruto. He put it in the same seal he kept Jiraiya's book, giving Tsunade a vicious glare and muttering to it while she sweatdropped at him.
"Tsunade-sama didn't used to be like that. She used to be kind and dedicated to the village, but she's…changed. Ever since that day…" Shizune paused.
Naruto raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to go on. "The day she lost everything?" he guessed.
Shizune looked up at him, stunned. "H-how did you know?"
"I recognize the look," Naruto hummed, glancing towards the ceiling.
"Look?" Shizune repeated.
"The look in your eye when you've died before your body's dead," Naruto replied, completely normally, as if he were talking about the weather. Shizune gave him a disturbed look. "So who was it? I'm guessing a lover, probably a family member?"
"You're right." Shizune's voice trembled. "One was my uncle, Dan. They loved each other so much. The other was her little brother, Nawaki. Their dreams…were to become Hokage."
Naruto nodded. "I suspected as much." Shizune gave him another disturbed look. "What?"
"If you deduced all that about Tsunade-sama…" Shizune looked near to tears. "Why would you say those things to her? Why did you provoke her like that?"
"Because that's the only thing that got through to her," Naruto replied bluntly. "We weren't going to sit down, have a nice little talk, and have everything be okay. She's a strong person, and sometimes the strongest people need people to approach them in a strong way."
"I see…but Naruto, that necklace is all she has left of her loved ones. It's not something to be gambled away on a silly bet!"
"Look, I don't care. I'm trying to make a Hokage, not win a necklace," Naruto said dryly. "She's the one who bet it."
"You'll be sorry!" Shizune snapped. "That necklace isn't something for you to wear! It won't accept anyone else but Tsunade-sama wearing it."
"…you do know it's an inanimate object, right?"
Shizune slammed her fist down on the tatami mat, scowling. "Quit joking around! It's only safe on Tsunade-sama. When anyone else puts it on, they die."
"…you do know it's an inanimate object, right?" Naruto repeated dully. Her scowl deepened. "Lady, I didn't detect any curse on that necklace. If it really were a cursed necklace, I would know."
"No you wouldn't!" Shizune yelled. "You couldn't understand."
Naruto resisted the urge to smack his forehead. Shizune went on and on about how Tsunade had lost the two people most important to her, ending with her reasoning for how she was.
He slipped past her to the door, not wanting to hear anymore of it.
"Where are you going?" she demanded.
"Out," he replied shortly.
Pain doesn't mean it's okay to act like that.
Naruto had been working on his new technique for seven days straight. He didn't actually care much about the bet, but he wanted to have something new to satisfy it.
Still…maybe he'd gone a little overboard.
He glanced down at his arm, hanging limp at his side and bleeding a river. Okay, maybe he'd gone a lot overboard.
"N-Naruto!" Shizune's startled voice caught his attention. "What on earth happened?"
Just before he passed out, he managed to give her a thumbs-up. "I've won the bet," he said, and then collapsed to the floor.
"Oi. Shizune-san. Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey."
"Gah!" Shizune shot up, startled. "What day is it? What time?!" she demanded, grabbing Naruto's collar.
He sweatdropped. "It's morning."
"…are you sure you're feeling all right?" she asked, in awe.
He glanced down at his arm. "Well, tore my arm up pretty bad, but Tsunade and the fox took care of it," he shrugged. "Besides, today's the day I one-up that old witch," he grinned.
"You've mastered the jutsu?" Shizune asked.
"Uhh…not completely," he admitted sheepishly. "But I'll wing it."
She chuckled, before going rigid. "Wait! I don't have time for this!" She ran to the window. "Stay here, Naruto!"
She threw open the window, startled when a kunai slammed into the wood beside her. "Wait, Shizune!" They both poked their heads out, and Naruto felt his stomach flip when he saw Jiraiya, leaning heavily against the wall as harsh breaths wracked his body.
"Sensei!" he exclaimed, leaping onto the roof as two clones popped into existence. He helped Jiraiya sit down, unable to keep the concern from his face. "What happened? Were you attacked? Do I need to go kill someone?" His words came out in a rush.
"I'm fine, I'm fine! Tsunade, that vixen, she spiked my drink," Jiraiya panted, before pausing. "Are you- is Naruto-chan concerned for me?" He shrieked, stars replacing his eyes as he clasped his hands together.
Naruto froze. "No," he huffed, crossing his arms as he turned away. Jiraiya faceplanted.
"A-anyway," Jiraiya said, voice strained. "I can't build up any chakra. My body is too weak- I can barely throw a kunai straight."
Straight enough to almost kill me, Shizune thought in irritation.
Naruto gave him a deadpan look. "And here you are always going on about what a great ninja you are. What, did you get distracted by her pretty face?!"
"Shut up!" Jiraiya boomed back at him.
"Whatever. Have some water, ero-sennin."
Naruto pulled his canteen out of nowhere, shoving it into his hands. "Don't call me that," Jiraiya muttered half-heartedly, taking a swig. "Anyway, I'm almost at thirty percent now. You," he gave Shizune a meaningful look, "need to tell us what's going on."
Shizune bit her lip. "All right, but you two need to come with me. I'll explain on the way."
"I admit, the monster inside you had me worried, but surrounded with the three Legendary Sannin, I see how insignificant you are," Kabuto went on. Naruto gave him a disinterested look, standing in between him and Tsunade as she trembled. Hashirama and Tobirama knelt on either side of her looking concerned, having been following her most of the time they'd been around.
"Ditto," Naruto said in the same tone of voice Kabuto was using. The Sound nin stared at him in annoyance. "Besides, you really shouldn't take someone so lightly when you've just been beating up someone they like." He adjusted his gloves.
"Eh? Someone you like?" Jiraiya muttered, giving him a twitchy glare.
He shrugged. "Besides, she's very important to Hash-" He was about to say 'Hashirama-sama' as he had been, but the Hokage cut him off.
"I've told you you can call me uncle, Naruto-kun!" he called from behind him.
Naruto let out a put-upon sigh. "…Uncle."
"Uncle?" Jiraiya asked, clearly confused.
"You're nothing but a child sitting at the grown-ups' table," Kabuto taunted. "So stay out of it…or I'll kill you."
"Wow," Naruto deadpanned. "I've never…heard…that before…"
Kabuto scowled. "If you're so sure, then," Naruto snapped, dashing forward.
"Naruto! No!" Jiraiya yelled, going to stop him. He couldn't take a step, sinking to his knees. Damn…my body is still weak! The kid's good, but not that good!
Kabuto smirked. Naruto could tell he was still going under the impression he was a weak genin.
How unfortunate for him.
Halfway to him, he released the seals weighing him down- part of their weight training.
A student of Kakashi wasn't going to lose to the likes of Kabuto concerning taijutsu.
He threw a handful of disguised Hiraishin kunai, littering them around Kabuto. "If you were aiming for me, you're even worse than I thought," Kabuto chuckled.
Naruto appeared behind him, slamming his elbow into the back of the man's head. "What?!" Kabuto uttered, stumbling forward. Naruto was right after him, all palm strikes and knees and elbows.
There was a bit of silence on both sides as Naruto beat him; he'd already depleted his chakra and lost blood, while Naruto had a grudge.
"Hah!" Naruto went for a punch to the neck. He cursed when Kabuto ducked under him, sending him spiraling into a rock formation.
Let it be said it had been a nice rock formation, all symmetrical and gray, until Naruto happened to it. After that it was a crater.
"W-what? You can't possibly have that strength!" Kabuto exclaimed, backing away.
Naruto sent him a glare over his shoulder, killing intent leaking from him. Cursing, Kabuto retreated to Orochimaru's side. Naruto got up and slammed his fists together, wary of approaching the both of them, only returning to Jiraiya's side when the man yelled at him.
"All right. Shizune, Naruto, you take care of four-eyes," Jiraiya instructed. "Leave Orochimaru to me. But before that, I need Tsunade to fix my body."
Shizune glanced away. "I'm sorry, Jiraiya-sama. There's nothing we can do about that."
"WHAT?! You've gotta be kidding!" Jiraiya screamed. "Ugh…well, what can ya do."
"After I kill this one, I'll help you with the snake," Naruto commented, standing with an empty expression and his arms crossed, one hand on his sword hilt.
"Forget about it! You may be able to handle glasses there but he's right, you're in over your head when it comes to a sannin," Jiraiya chastised him.
Naruto eyed him. "Suuuuure."
"What the- don't disrespect me! You listen to what I say, brat, you hear?!"
"Mhm."
"Na-ru-to!"
"Enough." Orochimaru's voice rang out, tinged with annoyance. "I tire of your petty babble. Kabuto."
His opponents tensed as Kabuto bit his thumb, using the seal on Orochimaru's arm to use the summoning jutsu. Naruto's explosion had damaged the snake so badly he'd gone to Tsunade for healing.
With a giant plume of smoke, two equally giant snakes appeared on the battlefield, Kabuto and Orochimaru standing on one's head. "Better summon 'Bunta," Jiraiya muttered, running through the requirements for his own summoning.
He slammed his hand into the ground, and with a tiny puff of smoke, Gamakichi appeared.
"GAH! What are you doing here?" Jiraiya shrieked. "Where the hell's your father?!"
Naruto facepalmed.
"Still playing the fool, I see," Orochimaru chuckled. "You always were ridiculous, but this time you've outdone yourself. You're still as big a disgrace as the day we met."
Naruto twitched, sending him a glare. "Oi," he called out, "shut your disgusting, pasty mouth, pedo-snake-man." He bit his own thumb, running through the same hand seals. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"
There was an explosion of smoke. When it dissipated, a toad the size of a horse stared back at them. "What the hell?!" Naruto screamed. "I put enough chakra into that for the boss! Where the hell is he?"
"He was busy, so he sent me," the toad replied. Naruto and Jiraiya both facepalmed.
"Oh, dear, this isn't boding well…" Hashirama murmured.
A tiny toad sat upon the larger one. "Ooh!" It squealed. "Gamakichi!"
"Gamatatsu? What're you doing here?" Gamakichi asked, blinking.
"This is the first time I've been summoned! I'm so happy I get to shine," the little toad gushed.
Naruto breathed slowly out through his nose.
The snakes darted towards them as one. "Leave Jiraiya to me," Orochimaru yelled. "I leave the rest to you to do with as you please."
The ground exploded upon impact, sending up a wall of smoke. Naruto leapt into the air, eyes on Tsunade, and startled when a shape appeared above him.
One of the snakes snapped its jaws shut, surrounding him with darkness. He heard Jiraiya scream his name, but let himself go down its gullet, taking out a large red orb with a smirk.
He let it fall down ahead of him, letting out a chuckle. "Boom," he whispered.
Light exploded around him. He put up a small barrier around himself, sliding down the snake's innards and into fresh air as its meat rained down on the whole battlefield.
Kabuto was gaping up at him, mouth wide open. "I'm an explosions specialist, fool, you fool!" Naruto shouted, taking out a handful of blue balls.
He blasted towards the traitor, who dashed away as quickly as his legs could carry him. The battlefield became littered with explosions, and the other snake sunk into a partial swamp as it formed beneath it.
Naruto littered the whole area with undetonated bombs, setting them off whenever Kabuto dodged into one's path. He went after the medic nin with vicious ferocity, herding him away from Tsunade and Shizune.
When they were a suitable distance away, Naruto leapt into the air, landing on a glowing pentagram. "What? What is that?" Kabuto demanded, watching him crouch in midair with an incredulous expression.
Naruto couldn't help a terrifying grin overtaking his face. "The reason the monster inside me should have you worried," he said, repeating Kabuto's earlier words. "Suiton: Suidanha!"
The hell?! Kabuto fled the stream of water in a panic. It cut through the ground around him, and would have sliced through his body like cheap paper, forcing him into an area that was oddly devoid of any rubble.
"Nicely done, child," Tobirama said from behind his shoulder. Naruto grinned, too out of breath to respond, and formed a hand seal.
"Time," he panted, "to detonate."
"Detonate what?" Tobirama asked, eyebrows creasing.
"…detonate," Naruto grinned.
Kabuto froze at his expression, examining the area around him. "Oh, no," he whispered.
An elaborate sealing array glowed into existence around him. "W-when did you have the time-" he stammered.
"Kage bunshin," Naruto said in his usual 'the more you know' tone.
"I didn't even see you make any!"
"I made some before I got here, you moron!"
The seal glowed an ominous red. Kabuto dashed to get out of it, but a barrier sent him crashing back. "Let me out of here!" he yelled.
"Three," Naruto said, much to his confusion and panic, "two. One."
The manic gleam returned to his eyes as the sealing array exploded, confined to the barrier. "Ah," he sighed, letting his arms relax, "art." Tobirama gave him a look.
It was five minutes before the smoke cleared. The seal was gone, but it had etched itself into the ground so its pattern was still visible. Naruto picked through the now rocky terrain until he found Kabuto's body, scorched and mouth open in a scream. "Yuck."
Still…he took out a large war hammer from a scroll, raising it above his head.
"What are you doing?" Tobirama asked, startled.
"He's a medical ninja, has this whole healing himself thing," Naruto explained. "Just need to make sure I got his brain."
He slammed the hammer down, spewing blood and organs all over everything, spraying his pants with blood. Ignoring the slightly disturbed look on the Second's face, he trotted back towards Tsunade.
Naruto was concerned. Jiraiya was at fifty percent at best, struggling even with Orochimaru's weakened state.
As he stood there in front of Tsunade deciding on what to do, he felt a prick on his ankle. Frowning, he looked down, jumping when he saw a tiny snake attached to his foot. He quickly pried it off of him, giving it a scowl. "What, did one of those two creepers summon you when I wasn't looking?"
The snake's body abruptly looked like…was he holding two of them?
Everything was blurry. Crap. Poison.
He stumbled, dropping the snake. "Naruto-kun?" The ghosts called in concern, but he didn't hear them, dropping to the ground like a rock.
"Naruto!" Shizune cried, sprinting to his side. "Oh no, what happened? Naruto? Naruto!"
Naruto felt himself slipping, crashing into his mindscape with a thud. "Kurama?" he groaned.
"It's getting dark," the Kyuubi muttered. "Why is it getting dark?"
Faintly, he heard a familiar voice.
"Guess he wasn't so tough after all."
Kabuto?!
That was impossible. He had literally smashed the guy's brain. Unless he'd found some technique that let him use real bodies somehow to save himself…with how sick Orochimaru's experiments were, Naruto wouldn't put it past him.
The sounds of Kabuto beating down Shizune were vague, but Tsunade's cries of pain roused him. Sure, he'd tried to insult the woman into coming to her senses, but he wasn't going to stand by and let someone beat her.
Shizune's eyes widened when Kabuto and Tsunade were forced to separate. A gigantic paw slammed down between then, the claws as long as Shizune herself, but it got thinner and smaller as it got closer to-
Naruto.
The boy was on his knees, other hand holding the shoulder that had transformed as he reached his arm out. "Let her be, wretch," he snapped, struggling to stand.
"N-Naruto," Tsunade muttered, eyes round as dinner plates.
"Hmph. So the poison didn't kill you?" Kabuto growled. "I will, then!"
Naruto cursed when Kabuto came at him. He tried to move the arm he'd transformed, but it was heavy as lead, barely moving a few inches. Uttering something that Iruka would have lectured him for, he thrust his other arm forward, watching as it turned to orange fur before his eyes.
The claw impaled Kabuto through the gut, and boy, did that feel weird. The medic nin crashed to the ground, still, and Naruto tried in vain to get his arms under control.
"Crap," he breathed, tugging on his right arm. "I shouldn'ta done that."
With a snap, the arms recoiled, the Kyuubi's chakra rushing back into him with the force of a train. He slammed to the ground, groaning, trying to ignore the ringing in his ears.
There was a pair of hands over him, leaking pleasant-feeling chakra into his system. Naruto could only guess it was Shizune, but the voice that greeted his ears wasn't her. "It's all right, Naruto. I'm putting my life on the line now."
Finally, he thought, but was too distracted by the absolutely agonizing pain in his arms to really hear what was going on.
"Don't move, Naruto-kun," Hashirama said by his ear. "Stay still. Tsunade-chan will take care of you."
Naruto panicked when he felt Orochimaru's chakra shoot towards them. "I won't let you touch him!" Tsunade yelled, and then there was a sickening squelch.
Naruto's heart stopped when he creaked one eye open and saw the snake toss her body aside. "Y-you…bastard…" he hissed through clenched teeth.
"Now it's your turn," Orochimaru said, and with a sickly sweet smile, swung the blade extending from his mouth down towards him.
A shape darted in between them. Naruto flinched as Tsunade's blood dripped down on him, staring up at her with wide eyes.
"I-I told you…I won't let you touch this boy…" She growled, arms trembling.
"You're becoming more trouble than you're worth, Tsunade," Orochimaru snapped, kicking her off of him.
He was interrupted by a large, furry hand crushing around his stomach, taking him twenty feet through the air before it slammed him into the ground. Orochimaru spat up blood, a snarl leaving his leaps as he turned his head a nearly full one-eighty to look at Naruto. His arm was bleeding now, and he really wished he could go home, sit down, and eat ramen for three days.
"Dammit, Naruto, don't do that again!" Tsunade yelled, kneeling beside him with her wounds- gone? Naruto stared at the marks on her face in confusion.
"What the heck happened to your face?"
"Just sit there."
She proceeded to beat Orochimaru halfway across the field and back, which honestly, Naruto could have watched all day. He pulled himself up and watched Jiraiya leap down to help her, but she was determined to do it on her own.
She punted the man into a rock formation, pausing to take a breather. His voice floated out of the smoke, making both of his fellow sannin tense. "Kuchiyose no jutsu."
"Crap! Naruto, get over here!" Jiraiya yelled, hurriedly getting ready to summon. Naruto appeared at his side, one hand on his shoulder, and the man gave him a dry look. Of courseNaruto had a Hiraishin mark on him.
Naruto started hacking on the smoke that appeared. The ground changed to something spongy and uneven, and he grinned slightly. "Boss toad!"
"Yeah, yeah, what do you want, Jiraiya?" Gamabunta sighed, nearly making Naruto trip and fall just by speaking.
Jiraiya frowned at him. "Can you stick to here?" he asked.
Naruto tested his chakra, nearly stumbling again. "Nope. I'm shot. But I can with this." He took out a small scroll, wrapping it around his ankle and taking a ribbon that was attached, placing it on Gamabunta's head. A blue glow surrounded his feet, and he knelt down. "All set."
"Good. Better hold on. Just sit there." Jiraiya turned to face his 'old friend' again.
"Okay then…" Manda turned to the slug Tsunade had summoned. Naruto thought this snake looked ten times as evil as the last ones. "I'll go after you first!"
The speed at which the summon moved stunned Naruto; he hadn't expected something so utterly massive to be able to move so quickly. It wrapped around the slug, but Gamabunta was there a second later, the massive snake in his grasp. It was a deadlock.
"You won't be able to defeat me, Jiraiya," Orochimaru taunted, hands slowly forming seals. "You're just as pathetic as you used to be."
"Oi! Sensei could beat you into next week, pedo!" Naruto hollered as he shook his fist.
Katsuyu burst into thousands of copies of herself, leaving Manda to spiral towards the ground. Gamabunta stumbled and quickly let go, not wanting to go down with him, and leapt back when Manda abruptly slithered straight off the ground towards him.
It was so trippy. If nothing else, Naruto was glad he was able to see a battle on this scale.
Gamabunta's sword went flying. Manda twisted around, opening his jaw to bite down, but screamed as the blade came slicing through his mouth, pinning his head to the ground.
"Holy cow, she's strong," Naruto said in appreciation, watching Tsunade whirl Orochimaru around by the tongue as she beat him. "It's awesome. And a little bit terrifying."
Beside him, Hashirama smiled serenely, sitting cross-legged beside his brother. "She's back," he said warmly.
A hack caught Naruto's attention. He turned and squinted, scowling when he saw Kabuto, lying on the ground, still coughing up blood from the gaping wound in his abdomen. He'd smeared his blood on one thumb, getting ready for a jutsu.
There was a cloud of smoke, and Naruto felt Kabuto's chakra disappear. He used up the last of what he had, he thought. That's not good.
Three snakes the size of the ones previous loomed over Kabuto's dead body, stretching into the air higher than most buildings. Naruto released his scroll, jumping over the side of Gamabunta while Jiraiya was focused on the battle.
He landed hard, stumbling and barely able to keep the impact from being fatal. Damn, my chakra's really messed up. He was in nearly as bad of condition as he had been in the preliminaries.
"Hey granny!" he yelled, catching Tsunade's attention as she was holding Orochimaru over the edge of Gamabunta's sword. "I lied before, I already knew Rasengan. But I made up for it. Watch this." He aimed at the approaching snakes.
"What're you doing?!" Jiraiya shouted.
"Fūton: Rasenshuriken!"
The explosion was so, so beautiful.
He passed out.