Chapter 14: The Red Four-Leaf Clover: Neji's Request
Chapter Text
"Naruto-nii-chan."
"Go away," Naruto muttered, pulling his pillow tighter over his ears.
"Naruto-nii-chan! Wake up!"
Groaning, Naruto burrowed further into his mattress. He winced when his back began to ache- he'd gotten used to the beds in the Uchiha District, which provided much more support than his cheap futon in his apartment. Why didn't I go home again?
He'd spent most of his time the day before in a tree near a hot spring reading a new stack of books that had come into the library, still on medical leave, and had felt too lazy to go much farther than his crappy old apartment.
If it kept people from waking him up at seven in the morning, he would have to start putting in the extra effort to go back to the District.
"What, Konohamaru," he moaned.
"I need your help, boss! You're the leader of the Konohamaru Corps now," Konohamaru replied. With a sigh, Naruto sat up, running a hand through his hair as his eyes adjusted to the daylight.
"The what."
"The Konohamaru Corps! Konoha's new military installation." Konohamaru pulled a pose, light glinting off his teeth as he grinned. It was disturbingly Gai-like.
"…"
"Come on, boss, don't give me that look. You're the leader!"
"…no thank you," Naruto said, flopping back onto the bed.
"Boss, please! I need your help!" Konohamaru roared. He leapt onto the bed, kneeling by Naruto's scowling face. "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Pl-"
"OKAY," Naruto shrieked, shoving him to the floor. "Just cut it out!"
Konohamaru grinned in victory.
"What are we looking for again?"
"Nii-chan, I've told you three times! The special rare red four-leaf clover," Konohamaru said, lips pursed in exasperation. "I have to get it for Kaede-chan before she moves out of the village!" he exclaimed, referring to one of his classmates. Naruto thought it was mildly cute he had a crush.
"All right, all right, settle down. Where's it supposed to be?"
"This place out in the forest called Akagahara."
Naruto's eyebrows furrowed. "Isn't that place said to be just as bad as the Forest of Death?"
"I don't know, but it's where the clover is, so we're going!" Konohamaru chirped, leading him out of town. Naruto sighed.
"Fine, fine, whatever you want. Even if it is forbidden, I don't see how it's any worse than sending a bunch of genin into Training Ground 44." Besides, if they want to keep me out of anywhere in this village they need to put in infinite times more effort.
It took mere minutes to reach the fenced-in area, numerous signs decorated the chain link. All shinobi prohibited from entry by order of the Hokage, he read on one. "Maybe you should sit this one out, Kono."
"No way! I have to get the clover!" his disciple replied stubbornly. Naruto shrugged and leapt over the fence.
"Just follow in my footsteps and maybe you won't blow up," he said nonchalantly, ignoring how Konohamaru paled.
He wasn't the village's best prankster- the one who slipped in and out of ANBU headquarters and in could paint the largest, most easily seen construct of the village without getting caught- for nothing. Naruto avoided most of the traps easily, Konohamaru following close behind him.
"Wow, boss," he said in awe. "You're so awesome!"
"It's easy if you look," Naruto drawled, casually deflecting a kunai.
"I am looking!" Konohamaru protested, landing in a crouch on a tree branch next to him.
"Neh, neh, I mean look, not just see things," Naruto said. He tapped his protégé on the forehead. "You can't just act. You have to think, listen, approximate. These are all the good qualities of a master prankster." And trap artist.
Konohamaru nodded enthusiastically. Naruto broke the genjutsu a seal was placing on anyone who came within close proximity of the clover field- he wasn't going to spend hours getting no closer to his goal- and motioned Konohamaru forward.
"All right, shorty. Start looking."
"I found it! I found it!"
Naruto had been dozing as he pretended to look for the four-leaf clover, jerking up when Konohamaru called out. "I'm up," he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he ambled over. Konohamaru had his arm extended beneath a statue, straining and grunting. "So troublesome."
He pressed on the statue and tipped it over slightly. Damn, this is heavy. He wasn't stupid enough to dislodge it- it would probably set off yet another trap.
"Got it!" Konohamaru cheered, jerking back….right into Naruto.
Naruto stumbled, dropping the statue with a curse. "You said a bad word!" Konohamaru accused, and Naruto cursed again.
"Kono, let's get out of here," he said, tone urgent. He'd gotten enough strength back to hop around the village and perform minor (well, minor for him) jutsu, but he didn't want to get caught in a situation with Konohamaru there.
A snap made him turn, grimacing. All around the clearing, what looked to be puppets shot up from the ground, clicking and clattering as they pointed blades out of their arms and hands. "Nice going," Naruto sighed.
"It wasn't my fault!" Konohamaru squeaked.
I wonder if I use Kurama's chakra to destroy all these and end up in the hospital again how mad baa-chan will be, Naruto thought.
Then again, Jiraiya and Iruka would probably be worse than her. Naruto was too lazy to deal with that debacle again, so he resolved to escape without landing himself in the medics' domain.
"New plan!" he called cheerily. "Dodge!"
"How am I supposed to dodge all of them?" Konohamaru shrieked.
"It will be good practice, my disciple!"
"You haven't even taught me anything yet!"
"You didn't say I'd be dodging you!" Konohamaru screamed, propelling himself away from a green ball as it exploded.
Naruto cackled in response. He littered half the clearing with hundreds of tiny, pachinko-ball-sized blue orbs as he used a downed marionette as a shield. "Well hey," he laughed, grabbing Konohamaru by the scarf and leaping into the air. The balls exploded, shaking the ground beneath and catapulting most of the puppets, their remains, and the two shinobi into the air far overhead. "Know what the bright side is?"
"How is there a bright side to this?" Konohamaru hollered back at him.
"You're getting combat experience!" Naruto gushed with a bright smile.
"You're an idiot, boss!" Konohamaru thundered, trying to strangle him with said scarf.
"Oh look! An opening!" Naruto jumped off an inactive puppet, darting to the ground and sliding in between two puppets.
"They're following us!" Konohamaru groaned, hanging off his arm like a cheap cloth.
"Ooh, challenging~"
"I don't know, I'd really put my money on Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said.
"It's not that I don't have confidence in his abilities. I just think, in a water environment, Zabuza would have the advantage and be victorious," Sasuke replied, hands in his pockets as he ambled down the street.
"Well, what about Gai-sensei?"
"I don't know. It's fifty-one to fifty, currently, in sensei's favor, but that man's a monster and a powerhouse. Purely ninjutsu and genjutsu? Kakashi-sensei, every time. But Gai's taijutsu is powerful…and his physical endurance."
"What're you guys talking about?" An amiable voice asked. They turned to face Kiba, Akamaru peeking out of his jacket as usual. After the exams, he'd taken to challenging Naruto to a fight every week, usually ending up with his face in the dirt.
"Who would win in a fight, Kakashi or Zabuza," Sasuke replied.
"And Kakashi-sensei versus Gai-sensei," Sakura added. "We have a betting pool."
"B-betting pool?" Hinata asked. She had come up behind Kiba with Shino, twiddling her thumbs together as usual.
"I want in," Kiba grinned, taking out his wallet. Sakura got the feeling Shino was rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. "Three hundred ryo on Zabuza and four hundred on Gai."
"Excellent," Sakura purred, taking out a blue notebook with a pen attached as well as a small box with Naruto's seal work all over it. She was the agreed-upon bet keeper and banker of Squad Seven.
"So, Kiba," Sasuke commented, eyeing Kiba's bills as he handed them to Sakura, "who do you think would win, our sensei or yours?"
"Psh! Ours, of course!" Kiba exclaimed.
"I do not think that is completely accurate, Kiba," Shino said.
"Eh?! You wouldn't bet on Kurenai-sensei?!" Kiba replied in an accusatory tone. Hinata looked conflicted.
"Kakashi of the Sharingan, said to have mastered over one-thousand jutsu, and to have made chuunin before the age of ten, would be a formidable opponent. Kurenai-sensei is a strong kunoichi, but ultimately Kakashi-san is most likely to emerge victorious."
"Yeah, well why doncha put your money where your mouth is, traitor."
Sasuke smirked, and Sakura rolled her eyes. "What about you, Hinata?" she asked kindly.
"U-um…I-I guess I'd like to b-bet on Kakashi-sensei against Zabuza, Gai-sensei, and Kurenai-sensei a-against Kakashi-sensei," Hinata said, poking her fingers together.
Sakura nodded, recording it all in her notebook.
"Boss!"
"Why're ya yellin' at me like I caused this?! You're the one who needed a damn flower for your girlfriend!"
"SHE ISN'T MY GIRLFRIEND!"
"There's no need to be embarrassed, my little disciple."
"Shut up, nii-chan!"
Naruto dodged another kunai as it sailed through the air, leaping into the air and flipping over until he faced the sky. He took out a three-pronged kunai and stuck it in his mouth, fishing around in his explosive pouches for more bombs. He had a near-endless supply due to his storage seals and many nights spent creating rather than sleeping.
A marionette chased after him below. It opened up its mouth, wooden jaw detaching from the rest of its head, and released a sea of fire into the air. Naruto flipped over and threw the kunai into the flames, leaving a group of blue balls in his wake as soon as he disappeared.
Reappearing on the other side of the flames, he lunged forward as the explosion behind him propelled him forward. Planting one foot in the puppet's face, he swung his sword in a wide arc, slicing through its neck and shoulder.
"Eeek!" Konohamaru ran about like an idiot, hands covering his head. Mentally facepalming, Naruto lifted one hand to form a Rasengan.
A burst of chakra alerted him to a problem before the technique exploded halfway, making him flinch. Seriously?! *Sigh*…more tree-walking for me.
"Kono, dodge!"
"You keep saying that!" Konohamaru wailed, ducking to the ground as Naruto's tanto went whirling over his head. It lodged itself into the chest of the puppet that had been chasing the child, sending it careening backwards into the two behind it.
Dancing in between a few traps, Naruto snatched Konohamaru's scarf and yanked him up, grinning. "All you have to do is look!"
"I AM LOOKING!"
"Sakura-chan, my beloved!"
"Lee!" Sakura screamed, throwing herself off the building they'd been running over with open arms. Lee met her halfway and caught her in his arms, crying tears of joy. "It's been so long since I saw you!"
"It's been two hours," Sasuke stated flatly, eyebrow twitching.
"Two hours too long!" Lee wailed.
Behind them, Neji groaned. Sasuke gave the two lovebirds a wide berth, raising one hand to wave at Lee's teammates. "I'm guessing you had a mission or something before the apocalypse happened," he said dryly.
TenTen chuckled. "Don't worry about it. We were just doing a D-rank." She eyed his chuunin vest.
He smirked. "Maybe in another few months your team will make chuunin. It'd be nice to have a few around I could actually trust to have our backs." His eyebrow began to twitch. TenTen's raised eyebrow prompted him to go on. "Some chuunin we were running with on a mission let Naruto get stabbed in the side once."
"Speaking of Uzumaki-san," Neji interrupted, eyes averted. "Do you know where he is at the moment?"
"Hn," Sasuke replied, rubbing the back of his neck as he thought. "No. Last I saw him he was reading in a tree, but that was yesterday. Hey Sakura!" he yelled.
"What?" Sakura shouted back, in the midst of a sunset mirage with Lee.
"You know where Naruto is?"
Sakura blinked and dropped Lee's hands, forming a hand seal as she closed her eyes. "Ooh, I didn't know you were a sensor-nin!" TenTen called out.
Sakura smirked, but didn't respond. After a moment, she opened her eyes. "He's in the forest, for some reason," she said. "Konohamaru's there, too." She frowned and tilted her head.
"Do you have a specific location?" Neji asked as the couple walked over to them.
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "You wanting to find him?"
"I wish to speak with him, yes," Neji replied, pale eyes unnerving. Sakura shrugged and took out a piece of paper, drawing a circle around part of the forest and handing it to him. Squad Seven had made many maps of the village and its areas, so they nearly always had one on them.
"I'm not good enough to know exactly where yet, but he's somewhere here."
Neji examined the paper with slightly narrowed eyes. "Thank you, Haruno-san. TenTen, Lee, can you finish up the mission?"
"Sure, Neji," TenTen replied, both arms folded behind her head. She opened one eye, a sly grin crawling onto her lips. "Making a friend on the mission roster today?"
He sent a glare her way, leaping into the trees. "That reminds me, we should go pick up a C-rank," Sakura said, poking Sasuke in the arm as he stared into space with a bored look. "Now that you're a clan head you better build up your mission record."
He straightened. "That's right. Let's go." He took off at a fast walk, making Sakura snicker.
"Goodbye, Lee-kun," she said, whirling around to plant a kiss on said genin's cheek. "Until the next time we meet. Damned fate."
"Goodbye, Sakura-chan!" he half-yelled, tears streaming down his face.
"Lee-kun!"
"Sakura-chan!"
"Lee-kun!"
TenTen blanched, turning and fleeing into the street before either of them could permanently blind her.
"Neji's been very quiet lately. I think your student may have gotten through to him, Kakashi," Gai said, head tipped back as he reclined on one of the sofas.
"Good thing, too, or else Jiraiya might've gotten through to him the hard way," Kurenai sweatdropped.
"I'm still reeling from the tongue-lashing he gave me." Asuma winced.
"Have you talked to Ino?" Kurenai asked, worried.
He sighed. "Yeah. She's supposed to be apologizing today. Kami help me if Naruto has anything but a positive reaction. Jiraiya'll gut me if the kid comes complaining to him."
They both cringed, Kurenai in sympathy.
"Oh, I'm sure he won't reject any apology," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Besides, Naruto doesn't like complaining about his problems anyway. Although," he tilted his head and put on a thoughtful look, inwardly snickering as he paused for dramatic effect and they frowned at him, "he does seem to be sharing more with Jiraiya since he came back. Just like family," he smiled, eyes closed, inner troll rearing its ugly head. "He is his godfather, after all!"
Asuma paled. "Seriously? That makes it worse."
Kurenai bit her lip to withhold a smile. "What was it you were saying about Lee before, Gai?" she asked, trying to get her friend's mind off his possible impending doom.
"Ah, yes! The springtime of youth is strong with my precious student," Gai said, eyes changing to stars. "Sakura-san is most good for him! She pushes him to even greater lengths!"
Kurenai shivered. "I can see why. That girl's a monster when it comes to fighting. Has Tsunade-sama gotten her hands on her yet?"
"Not yet, but I heard Shizune mention Tsunade-sama wanted to speak with her," Kakashi replied. "She was evaluating the hospital staff the other day. Helped Sasuke out with his medical jutsu, surprisingly enough. I have a feeling Naruto's behind that one."
"I'm shocked, frankly, that Sasuke even signed up for that program," said Asuma around his cigarette.
"I keep telling you," Kakashi replied, flipping the page in his book with a flat look in his eye, "he's not nearly as arrogant as he used to act. I have a feeling he feels left out sometimes, because he doesn't have a specialty like Naruto or Sakura."
"Specialty?" Kurenai tilted her head.
"Taijutsu and medical jutsu are Sakura's talents. Naruto has both fuinjutsu and explosives. They're all proficient in kenjutsu. Sasuke, of course, has his Sharingan, but I think we can all guess why he might be wary of what the full Sharingan could do." They shared a moment of silence, thinking of the eldest Uchiha sibling they'd only recently had to fight.
"Perhaps genjutsu would be more his domain," Kurenai suggested, taking a sip of water from the plastic cup in her hand. "I could show him a few things if you'd like."
Kakashi's eye curved upward. "I think he'd do nicely with that."
"Still can't believe they managed to get clan headship past the council," Asuma grunted, taking a long drag of smoke. "S'not like they can actually do much with it."
"That's where you're wrong," Kakashi said casually, fingering the tip of his book. They all raised their eyebrows at him. "Clan head status affords much more…political protection than a simple shinobi from a clan. Certain people whose names shall remain unsaid can't snatch them as easily. A much bigger fuss would be made." Kurenai nodded slowly, gaze thoughtful. "Naruto's already taken possession of the Uzumaki clan's Mask Storage Temple."
"Oh? I'd completely forgotten about that," Gai said, surprised. "I'm surprised it wasn't looted."
"Most people forgot it existed," Kakashi shrugged. "He immediately snatched up the vault with the Uzushiogakure remains as well. It's not as if there was much left, but it was rightfully his."
"I'm guessing the Uchiha District is home base for the Uzumaki, then. Kind of ironic," Kurenai said as she leaned back and set her chin on her palm. "I still can't get over the fact those two live together."
"It's economical. Sasuke's not exactly rich, like some people seem to think," Kakashi sweatdropped, rubbing his head. "Naruto jokes about it, but that's just jokes. He sold off what he could and used the rest for upkeep, but there is a reason he shut off most of the water and electric. I'm eighty percent sure they have a plan to become bounty hunters in their spare time to rake in cash. Sasuke's such a workaholic," he sighed, sagging. The others gave him flat stares, too used to his laziness.
"Well, even workaholics must have their hobbies," Kurenai said, clearly amused. "I caught something out of Kiba about a betting pool. Evidently they've gotten my team into it, too. They're split on who would win, you, Kakashi, or Momoichi Zabuza," she chuckled.
Kakashi slumped. "My stupid little students don't have faith in me," he muttered.
"Betting pool? Ah, that explains it," Gai grinned. "I often hear my students debating who will win our next match and mentioning your students' names. Even Neji's been pulled into it. Although…" He joined Kakashi in the depression corner, making the other two jounin sweatdrop. "He bets against me quite a bit."
"I heard about that," Asuma said, a small amount of awe in his tone. "Evidently there's a two thousand ryo joint bet they have with Kotetsu and Izumo about who'll snap first, Iruka or Jiraiya."
"Snap over what?" Kurenai asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
"I'm not sure exactly what. But evidently there's some rumor about Naruto being a witch, because someone keeps hissing at him and calling him a voodoo child."
"Be the leaf, my disciple, be the leaf," Naruto called out, one hand cupping his mouth and the other blocking a puppet's sword with his three-pronged kunai.
"What does that mean?" Konohamaru screamed, ducking under a puppet's legs to escape. They were halfway to the fence, although Naruto was slightly afraid the puppets would just follow them to the village…but hey, it was technically the fault of whoever had designed them.
"You must discern this on your own, young toad," Naruto replied.
"You don't make sense, boss!" Konohamaru wailed.
"Kaede-chan is counting on you! Be the leaf!"
Groaning, Konohamaru came to a stop behind him, panting heavily. "W-we've been at this for hours! I can't go on," he moaned, hands on his knees. Abruptly, he straightened, eyes narrowing. "Can't you just teleport us out of here?!"
"Hmm," Naruto replied thoughtfully, tossing the puppet across the forest into two of its allies. "I hadn't thought of that."
"Do it now then!" Konohamaru screamed.
Naruto grabbed his shoulder and activated his jutsu.
A moment later, he collapsed several yards from the fence with blood spurting from his nose, both hands clapped over it as he groaned in the general direction of the ground. "Owwww."
"Boss!" Konohamaru shrieked, hands fisted in his hair. "What happened?!"
"Tried to go too far, I guess. Daaaaammnit," Naruto moaned back. "This hasn't happened for weeks."
"Get up, get up! They're coming!" Konohamaru squeaked, shaking him by the shoulders.
"It'll be fiiiiiine," Naruto waved him off, a tad cross-eyed.
"No it won't! We're gonna DIE," Konohamaru wailed to the sky.
Two puppets lunged at them from a tree branch, exploding into numerous pieces as a whirlwind of chakra exploded around them. The rotation died down, leaving Neji in its place, arms extended.
He turned, Byakugan evacuated, and Konohamaru promptly freaked out. "Aahh! Who're you?! What's wrong with your eyes?!"
"Are you all right, Uzumaki-san?" Neji asked, ignoring him.
"H-hey! Don't ignore me!"
"It's all right, my disciple," Naruto chuckled, rooting around in one of his pouches until he withdrew a bandage and held it to his nose, keeping his head tilted down so he didn't choke on blood. "I'm fine, Neji. Just fudged a fuinjutsu and gave myself a nosebleed. It's normal with teleportation. What're you doing here, anyway?" Neji opened his mouth, but Naruto cut him off with a disapproving frown. "If you train here, you really shouldn't do it alone."
"You hypocrite!" Konohamaru shrieked. "You train in that forest full of big tigers alone all the time!"
"Oh, my little disciple, I'm never alone!" Naruto said cheerfully.
"What does that mean?!"
"I'll tell you when you're older."
"We can discuss this outside," Neji said tersely, scowling.
"Ah, right. Let's go, Kono!" Naruto cheered, getting to his feet and swaying onto Konohamaru's shoulder. "Weeeeeeee! Oops, still dizzy."
"Boss! You're so embarrassing…"
Neji lifted Naruto off the ground and jerked his head at Konohamaru. "Let's go," he stressed, just as several puppets exited the ground. Konohamaru squeaked and followed him over the fence, taking a seat at the base of a tree and watching the puppets hover behind the chain link before leaving, almost with a depressed air. Well, as depressed as an inanimate programmed object could be.
"You're supposed to carry princesses, not get carried like a princess, boss. You're so embarrassing," Konohamaru complained again, pouting.
Naruto took a seat beside him, grinning before ruffling his hair and making him shriek.
"I wish to speak with you," Neji said, sighing slightly in impatience. "Alone, preferably."
"Ah. Right. Hey, Kono, shouldn't you get your flower to your girlfriend?" Naruto asked.
With a scream, the boy shot up, frantic. "I forgot! And it's a clover!" he shot over his shoulder as he sprinted away. "And she's not my girlfriend!"
Naruto chuckled, turning back to Neji as the Sarutobi faded into the distance. "What'd ya wanna talk about?" he yawned.
With a tense expression, Neji shuffled to his knees, folding his hands together. Naruto rubbed his eye and cast him a confused glance, wondering at his formality. "I wish to extend my humble apologies," Neji blurted out.
Naruto blinked slowly. "…for what?"
Neji's eyelid twitched. Naruto had a feeling that was his version of faceplanting into the ground. "My behavior during the extent of the chuunin exams," Neji elaborated.
"Ahhh. You don't have to. I barely even remember what you said," Naruto eye-smiled, waving him off. Another twitch; another faceplant.
"Uzumaki-san, you showed me that…fate does not always dictate what one does. I…did think of you as a dead last loser, but you are an admirable fighter," Neji said, a frown covering his face, as if he had trouble choosing the words. "You even managed to survive against Orochimaru and the Hokage-samas."
"To be fair, I did run away most of the time."
"You have also…prompted a great shift in my clan," Neji breathed out deeply, eyes staring so unblinkingly into Naruto's own that the blond shifted uncomfortably and wondered if the Hyuuga ever had to blink. "I wish to thank you."
"Ah…I didn't do much." Naruto twiddled with a strand of hair beside his ear he'd braided. "Just cast doubt and suspicion into everyone's minds. And harassed people in council meetings," he muttered under his breath. "Did you know," he began with a shark-like grin, leaning forward and making Neji raise one thin eyebrow. "That the Caged Bird seal, years and years ago, took a small, small bit of a part of a seal from an Uzumaki technique- completely original, mind you, not common stuff- but," he broke off into a giggle, rubbing his hands together gleefully, "it'd almost be…ahh, illegal to use it if it were, eh, trademarked or something." He chuckled under his breath evilly, bangs shadowing his eyes.
Neji's eyes went round.
"But of course!" Naruto placed a finger over his lips. "Nobody…knows that yet…" His sharp incisors glinted in the sunlight as he unfolded his legs and started to stand. "I'm sure nobody'll mind if I get a trademark on a seemingly…" He tossed his hands into the air. "Useless, archaic, pretty much unused Uzumaki spiral, right?" He shot a grin in Neji's direction.
The boy gaped at him- or, at least, gaped as much as someone as composed as Neji could. "Uzumaki-san-" he said, something like gratefulness in his tone.
Naruto held up one hand. "That's for council jerkwads. Naruto's fine." He waved, heading back in the direction of the village now that he felt steadier on his feet. "See ya later, Neji!"
"Wait! Uzu- Naruto-" Neji began, starting after him. "I wanted to…" He paused.
Naruto paused and glanced over his shoulder, expecting. "Well," Neji muttered. "Lee said I should- hn-"
"I want to request that you- well, that you allow me to be. A friend?" Naruto tilted his head, laughing inwardly. So formal, he thought.
"Sure, Neji," he replied, grin widening. "First thing's first, though." Neji straightened, like he'd just told him he was about to outline the parameters of a mission. "Who're you betting on with Kakashi-sensei versus Gai-sensei?"
"Not here either," Naruto muttered sourly, sending the bare shelves in front of him a glare. "Why the hell can't I ever find it?!"
"What're you looking for, gaki?" A voice behind him questioned. Naruto looked over his shoulder, grumpy expression still in place, and stared flatly at Jiraiya.
"Tuna," he spat out, scowling.
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "Touchy. Are you obsessed with it like you are with ramen, then?"
"No." Naruto huffed out a breath through his nose. "You'll think it's stupid," he frowned.
Iruka had once sat Jiraiya down for a lecture on Naruto's behavior. Jiraiya had thought it completely unnecessary, and then Iruka had brought out a blackboard. With diagrams and lists. Iruka had spent nearly an hour drilling information into him.
There were genuine laughs, and then there were fake laughs Naruto used to conceal pain or embarrassment. If he was truly angry about something one did, he would confront them. He only avoided people or gave them a cold shoulder if he was afraid of their reaction. Most of the time he didn't bother with dealing with people; which meant honesty- even a sign of something that initially seemed like distrust, as his statement was- actually was a sign of trust.
Most importantly, Iruka had pounded out- if Naruto thought someone would think something was stupid, unimportant, or something similar, NEVER TREAT IT AS SUCH under pain of death. Even if it seemed to be the most ridiculous thing in the world.
The Sandaime had once made the mistake, bless his heart, of telling Naruto that tossing a ramen cup into a nearby pond every Friday to make sure the "tigers" in the forest didn't come out to eat people wasn't an important task. He'd learnt his lesson when Naruto hadn't opened up to him for two weeks until he was sure his "jiji" could be trusted with "important information".
"Aw, come on. Give me some credit." Jiraiya poked his shoulder.
Naruto sighed. "When I was around six, Sasuke told me about something that tasted really good," he said, crossing his arms. "I went out to try it, but I couldn't find it. I somehow ended up in a bar- don't ask- that's where I met Ibiki, actually- don't ask- but to this day it's always either sold out, not in stock, they don't carry it, or they're fresh out," Naruto scowled. "Even in villages I visit outside Konoha! It eludes me at every turn!"
Jiraiya sweatdropped. "You've been looking for tuna to try for going on seven years?"
"…yes."
"…okay, fine, let's go get some."
"What do you mean you're out?" Jiraiya twitched.
"Fresh out, sorry!" The waitress chirped.
Naruto gave him a flat look. "See? I'm cursed."
Frowning, Jiraiya flipped his menu shut. "You're not cursed, gaki. I'll prove it."
"What the hell do you mean the whole shipment got overturned into a river?!"
"See? You've already moved up to the sixth rank out of the whole program," Sakura said, patting Sasuke on the shoulder.
"I suppose that's satisfactory. You've done well," he said, arching one eyebrow. "First rank."
"That's what I keep hearing," Tsunade said from the door to the nurses' break room. She shoved the rest of the donut she held into her mouth, swallowing before she went on and took a seat on one of the sofas. "Haruno Sakura, right?"
"Yes, Tsunade-sama," Sakura replied. "This is my squad mate, Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke inclined his head forward in respect, while a smile tugged at Sakura's lips. "You already know Naruto."
"Who doesn't?" Tsunade grinned.
"Has he put you through his initiation yet?" Sasuke asked, fiddling with the tangled mess of gauze in his hands. He'd found it shoved onto a shelf in a supply closet and taken it to the break room to detangle on his break, muttering sourly under his breath about lazy nurses.
"Initiation?" Tsunade and her grandfather asked in unison, though they could only hear one of them.
Both chuunin smiled, relatively normal-looking expressions, but they somehow held an undercurrent of pure evil. "Ah," Sakura chuckled, "you'll have to find out on your own. Sandaime-sama said he wanted to see your face when it happened."
Even more confused, Tsunade mentally shrugged. "Well, I wanted to ask you a question, Sakura-san."
"Just Sakura is fine, Tsunade-sama. What did you want to ask?"
"I was wondering how you managed to mimic my technique," Tsunade said. "I saw your fight against your- boyfriend?" Sakura nodded. "Quite impressive, especially considering your Academy record."
"Academy record's nothing to go off of," Sasuke interrupted, frowning down at his lap as he fiddled with the gauze. "We faked our grades and personalities so we could stack the formation of Team Seven." It almost made him exhausted to say it again. Would they ever have to stop explaining this to people?
"That's true. But how I mimicked your technique, well, it's complicated, but I knew the theory behind it. Centering chakra into the point of impact before you strike. It took a long time to deal with the kickback, and managing the chakra that rolled off," Sakura said. "I hope you don't mind too terribly," she continued with an apologetic smile.
"Oh, not at all," Tsunade waved her hand, grinning like a shark. "In fact, I was wondering if you'd be interested in apprenticing with me."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, strips of gauze in his mouth as he struggled with the bulk of it in his hands. Unsanitary, but they always used sterilization jutsu before using it.
"Being your apprentice? I'd be honored to," Sakura said, startled. "Although, why would you want to be my teacher?"
"Let's just say I like your spunk," Tsunade chuckled.
Sasuke started to grimace, tugging at the knot more vigorously than before.
Sakura beamed. "When do we start?" she asked.
"Oh, this afternoon would be fi-"
"Damn y-!" Sasuke yelled, jerking on the material so violently he dislodged himself from the couch and went sailing to the floor.
A moment later he realized what he'd done, and stared at his hands, momentarily too frozen to be embarrassed.
"Oh, Sasuke," Sakura sighed heavily.
"This is impossible! You're cursed!" Jiraiya howled, pulling at his hair.
"See? I told you!" Naruto yelled, hands on his hips as he scowled. "It's nowhere!" He gestured to the stores surrounding them.
Jiraiya dragged a hand down his face. He sunk onto a bench, scratching the side of his head with his knuckles. "There has to be one vendor that has tuna in the whole village," he exclaimed. "I just saw a sign for it this morning!"
"Yeah, well." Naruto sat down and set his chin on his hands, grumpy. "I can't even conjure it up. If I don't know what it tastes like, I can't mimic the flavor."
"Conjure?" Jiraiya questioned.
Sighing, Naruto pointed at a rock at their feet. "Anut otni nrut."
The rock morphed into a pale-looking piece of meat. "What the hell." Jiraiya said.
Naruto picked it up and held it out to him, practically pouting. "Take a bite, but spit it out."
After staring at him for several moments, Jiraiya took the meat and took a large bite.
"Hyack! Gah!" He immediately spit it out, wiping his tongue with his sleeve. "What the hell was that?"
"Not tuna," Naruto said dully.
"No, I mean what was that?!" Jiraiya flapped his hands.
"Oh. Magic."
"…magic?"
"Yeah. Oh, come on, the Kyuubi had to do something with his free time. He's only ever been in a few hosts. What do you think these are?" Naruto held up his palm and channeled chakra into it, making the pentagram there glow. "It's a mixture of his magic-type energy and fuinjutsu."
Jiraiya frowned. "Why'd I have to spit it out?"
"It would've turned back into rocks eventually."
The man glanced down at his stomach and grimaced. "What else can you do?"
"Well, anything reasonable, really." Naruto stared across the street at a mask vendor. "Ecaf sih ot kcits."
One of the masks flew off the rack, plastering itself onto the vendor's face. The man screamed and clawed at it as he bumbled into the street, flailing.
The duo snickered. "Ooh, ooh," Jiraiya gasped, pointing. "Make that guy turn into a donkey."
Naruto smirked. "Yeknod a otni hprom."
"Do you see him?" Ino asked worriedly, glancing around with one hand shading her eyes from the sun. She peered off the edge of the store roof they occupied, looking around a mile a minute.
"Isn't that him over there?" Choji asked around a mouthful of chips. He pointed down the street towards a tree casting shade over a small area. On a bench sat none other than everybody's favorite (or not-so-favorite) blond and his godfather, guffawing at something happening on a street perpendicular to the one they were on.
Ino blanched. "I can apologize later," she squeaked, wheeling around. Shikamaru lazily caught her elbow, rolling his eyes.
"We have to apologize now, Ino, it took us all of today just to find him."
"But he's with Jiraiya-sama," Ino whined. Shikamaru gave her a blank stare. "Oh, fine," she sighed. "Let's go."
Naruto was in the middle of saying some nonsense when Ino walked up to him. "H-hey, Naruto," she said, putting on a smile.
Naruto glanced up, cutting himself off. "Oh, hey, guys," he said, sounding a little bored. "What's up?"
Jiraiya stared at them over the blond's head with an expression that was absolutely blank. Somehow, this was more unnerving than if he'd been glaring at her. Gulping, Ino widened her smile. "I just wanted to apologize," she said.
A moment of silence passed. "…for what?" he asked, feeling a sense of déjà vu.
Ino's smile twitched. "For, uh, you know, hitting you the other day."
"Oh." There still wasn't any comprehension in his gaze. "It's fine." He turned back to the street, lifting a pair of binoculars he'd gotten from nowhere.
"Uhh." Ino started to get nervous when Jiraiya narrowed his eyes. "No, I'm really sorry."
"Yeah, and I really get it?" Naruto asked, giving her a side-eyed look. "All good now."
"N-no it's not!" Ino laughed awkwardly. "We should, um, take you to lunch as an apology!" Choji went "What?" in the background.
Naruto lowered his binoculars with a frown. "Why would you want to take me to eat?" he asked, genuinely confused. It wasn't as if Team Asuma had ever treated him like the villagers had, but they'd always either ignored him or made fun of him, or just not said anything when others did. He'd played with Shikamaru and Choji some when they were small, but he'd avoided them after the Yota incident.
Even if they never remembered, he would never forget the eyes they'd looked at him with- the same eyes the rest of the village always gave him.
"To say we're sorry!" Ino hurried on.
"Yeah, but, why just this once?" Naruto sweatdropped. "You've punched me plenty times before."
Ino started to sweat at his statement. Jiraiya crossed his arms, the humorous air about him he'd had before gone.
"What she means is," Shikamaru drawled, "it won't happen again."
Naruto stared at them all, slowly tilting his head. Is this one of those social situations I can't understand?
"Ah!" He suddenly exclaimed, making her jump. "You fixed your focus problem?!" Sasuke had told him about it.
"What- no!" she yelled, lowering her voice again when Jiraiya fixed her with a glare. "We just want to- um- be friends. That's it."
What the hell, what the hell, Naruto thought, mentally tapping his head as he struggled to come up with a solution. "Well," he said, eyebrows drawn together, "it's not like I don't like you guys or anything, but why?"
"What do you mean why? Can't people just want to be friends?" Ino asked, crossing her arms.
"Usually not with me," Naruto replied bluntly. They were starting to irritate him- although that made him feel a tad guilty. "I seem to remember being a-" He shaded his eyes to glance up at the sky. "Hmm, an 'annoying, troublesome idiot' who never knew when to shut up and was 'kind of slow' and 'well, he's not really a freak but he's not normal either'," he said, adopting a mocking accent whenever he quoted them.
He looked down and blinked at the guilt on their faces. Even Shikamaru was starting to look uncomfortable. "What?"
"I…I'm sorry." Ino bit her lip and stared at the ground.
He tilted his head further. "…really?" he asked skeptically. It wasn't that he doubted their intentions in particular; he was just naturally suspicious of everyone.
"…well, if you're offering ramen, I won't say no. It'll have to be some other time, though…"
"But you accept the apology, right?" Ino asked.
"I guess? I don't see the point, really…I wasn't mad…"
A groan of "troublesome" from Shikamaru made Choji start to eat his chips again, he'd paused during the tension. He paused when he felt a prickle on his hand, glancing down and jumping.
"Gah! Get away!" He swatted at the insect on his hand, jerking when Naruto appeared abruptly in front of him and snatched it away.
"Don't just go and kill it, Choji!" he chastised, huffing. The boy leaned back, clearly confused, and Naruto let the insect rest on his knuckle.
"It's just a bug!" Choji argued.
"No, it's an insect," Naruto corrected. "Bugs are a type of insect." He gave the beetle an appreciative look. "This is a Konohagakure Green-Back."
"It looks brown," Choji said dully.
"It's the hue, Choji, you have to have an eye for the hue. They hatch year-round, but they only live in the southeast forest. They're so resilient that the Aburame developed them specifically for battle," Naruto grinned.
"Uh…okay?" Choji sweatdropped.
"That's different from the Red-Winged, which is used primarily with medic nin Aburame because they're exceptionally good at handling poison."
"I didn't realize you were familiar with my clan's numerous insect species."
Ino and Choji both jumped. Naruto watched the beetle lift off his hand and buzz through the air to land on Shino's shoulder- Hinata and Kiba were nowhere to be seen. "She belong to your hive?"
"Yes. Recently-hatched insects sometimes wander off." The beetle slid under Shino's collar, making Ino shiver.
"See, Choji? That's why you shouldn't swat random insects," Naruto stage-whispered to the boy, snickering at his expense.
"Yeah, whatever. Are you comin' to lunch or not?"
"Well, sure. Why not?" Naruto paused when he realized the Aburame wasn't following. "You comin' or not, Shino?"
"Because of this we keep the species separated." Ino cringed as she listened to Shino and Naruto talk about beetle breeds. Can they not do that while I'm eating? she thought.
Jiraiya occupied a different table; when Shikamaru had asked if he was sticking around, Jiraiya had just given him a slightly frightening grin and said he was 'watching them'. The boy had tried to hide a shiver as he slunk back to their table.
"Mhm, that was good," Choji sighed, giving his stomach an appreciative pat.
Naruto checked his watch. "Hn. I should get back now. Thanks for the food. Even though it wasn't ramen."
Ino's brow twitched. He could be more grateful…
The blond slid out of the booth, waving. "You wanna do it again sometime?" Choji asked around a mouthful of beef.
Naruto paused. "Eh…I'll get back to you on that," he hedged, rubbing the back of his head.
"What, too good for your old Academy pals now that you're a bigshot chuunin?" Ino pouted playfully. "You spend a lot of time with Neji's team."
"Well, I mean, they never…" Naruto trailed off. They never treated me like an idiot. Sans Neji, who seemed determined to make it up to him. "They are my friends-"
"Aren't we your friends?" Ino frowned.
"Well…don't friends like each other?"
"What, you don't like us?" She asked, insulted.
"I don't know." Naruto averted his eyes. "Most of the time I sent a kage bunshin to the Academy and didn't bother sorting through the memories they brought back. But…no one seemed to like me most of the time." When he saw the guilt on her face, he rushed to amend his wording. "You don't have to feel bad about it! No one likes me most of the time!"
Jiraiya started twitching when he realized Naruto saw absolutely nothing wrong with the statement. The waiter glanced at the fork he'd bent in half and began in a wavering tone, "Sir, are you going to pay for th-" Jiraiya turned to glare at him. "N-never mind, it's perfectly fine! Anything for our patrons!"
"I mean, I was an annoyance back then. You were kids. You don't have to feel bad."
"That…" Ino's frown deepened. He's kind of right…even if they didn't dislike him, nobody really liked him… Even her father had sat her down and had a long discussion with her. Had she had it wrong all along?
"That doesn't make anything okay," she ended up mumbling to the table.
"Well, look." Naruto plastered on his fake smile, feeling like he'd regressed to his Academy days. "You don't have to feel guilty about anything. I accept your apology. So you can put this behind you. See you around." According to 'Dealing With Your Emotions: For Dummies', these were all things he needed to make clear so they left him alone. He suspected they only wanted to apologize because of either a. outside consequences or b. guilt. He turned on his heel and headed for the door, waving at Jiraiya as he passed.
He left Team Ten stewing in their guilt, while Shino stared after him, wondering how he'd missed something so obvious.
It was a damn shame the only person he could hold an intelligent conversation with in his class was the one person he'd written off as a distraction.
"What's going on tomorrow?"
"Naruto, do you live under a rock?" Sakura asked, a tick mark growing on her forehead.
Naruto held up his hands. "Hey, it's not my fault. Ero-sennin and I were in Training Ground 44 trying out a new bomb." Sasuke withheld a shudder.
"Is that the reason I found a smoking monkey carcass on the path the other day?" she asked, scowling.
"…maaaaybe," he sang. "In my defense, that was sensei's fault."
She shook her head. "Anyway," she continued, "Tsunade-sama's holding a competition tomorrow."
Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "Competition?" He had spent the day in the legal offices in the lower Hokage Tower levels, filing paperwork for some trademark Naruto wanted to put on a seal. For something so old, there were numerous forms to fill out and hand in, but of course Naruto was off making bombs.
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Everyone's going to receive a crystal, kind of like that one." She pointed at the crystal Naruto wore around his neck he'd gotten from Tsunade. "Except not worth a fortune and different colors. Genin get blue, chuunin and higher get red. Blue are worth one point, red are worth five. Tsunade-sama will give whatever they want to the person who wins."
"Whatever we want, eh?" Naruto said, rubbing his chin as he reclined and stared at the clouds. They'd brought a bench to Training Ground Seven, as the three logs weren't the best seats. "What would you ask for, Sasuke?"
"There are many things that would be useful." Sasuke frowned in thought. "Maybe I can ban sunset genjutsu…"
"Haters gonna hate." Sakura huffed.
"If ero-sennin wins, he'll probably make every hot spring mixed bathing," Naruto snorted.
"Or start a secret police-slash-bodyguard service," Sakura muttered.
"Hm?"
"Nothing."
An image appeared in Sasuke's head. Jiraiya would create cheesy ANBU-like uniforms with orange armbands. Iruka and Kakashi would be part of the founding members. They'd probably sucker Gai and drag himself into it. Tsunade would hold weekly meetings where they did nothing but drink and rant about bigots. Neji, Naruto's new BFF, apparently, would give silent but threatening persuasion to anyone who didn't comply.
…Sasuke shook his head. He really needed to stop taking late shifts at the hospital.
"You can team up, and pool your crystals together for a joint prize," Sakura was saying.
"So, we can team up on sensei," Naruto grinned. "Just like old times. It'll be fun for Karin."
A glint appeared in Sakura's eyes. "We should give him a nostalgic experience." The two began snickering evilly.
"Okay, but what will we ask for?" Sasuke interrupted.
They were all silent for several moments before Naruto's eyes started to shine. "Oh," he grinned, "I know exactly what we'll ask for."