Chapter 105
Cuiusvis hominis est errare, nullius nisi insipientis in errore perseverare
"Anyone can err, but only the fool persists in his fault"

"The heart never forgets,
never gives up,
the territory marked off
for those who came before."
—The Bridges of Madison County

"I'd rather have you, remember?" Inuyasha told her, and she had no idea how much she needed to hear those words.

She grabbed onto his haori, holding herself close as she cried into his shoulder.

A hand rested on the back of her head, and she wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him tightly against her.

He'd rather have her.

Not Kikyo.

Her.

For someone who claimed to be terrible at speaking, he always seemed to know just what she needed to hear.

His nose knocked into her temple.

"Hey," he whispered to her, "stop your bawling."

"I'm not," she sniffled out.

"Kinda sounds like it," he said quietly. "My haori is a bit wet for not bawling."

Kagome sniffled, pulling away from him.

"Jerk," she muttered, wiping her eyes.

"How am I the jerk here?" He asked. "You're the one snotting up my clothes."

She lightly pushed his arm, glaring as hard as she could up at him.

"I did not," she whined.

The door opened, and she glanced up to see Miroku and Sango.

"Is everything okay?" Miroku asked, grabbing Shippo by his collar and holding him up. "We can leave—" Sango stepped towards them, Miroku looked like he wanted to flee the room in the opposite direction. "Unless, yes, of course, staying—we are, I mean, if we need to, not an encouragement either way." He sighed heavily. "Just going to make this even more awkward," he muttered to himself, stepping in, and letting Shippo fall to the ground.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You were thinking bad thoughts."

"I don't see someone dropping you on the ground when you have bad thoughts."

"There's not a cliff high enough to punish him for all his thoughts," Sango muttered.

"Bold of you to assume that I wouldn't enjoy said punishment."

Shippo made a face, and Sango just shot Miroku a look over her shoulder.

"There's my favorite face," he cooed, and Sango merely rolled her eyes and knelt beside Kagome.

"You're sure that you're okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I was just having a moment."

Sango's gaze flitted over to Inuyasha, and they clearly shared a secret communication that Kagome wasn't privy to.

"What?"

"You'll tell us if you need us to slow down?" Sango asked.

"Yeah, but I'm not really doing much. Inuyasha's the one doing all the work."

"That's not what she meant, and you know it," Inuyasha countered.

"I'll be fine," she said, and Sango raised her eyebrow at that. "I will be fine, Sango."

"You just have to tell us if you need a break."

"I will," Kagome promised.

Sango seemed settled enough and began packing up the rest of their things with Miroku and Shippo.

Inuyasha moved her out of the way so that the others could work, and Kagome looked over at the others before turning away and resting her head on Inuyasha's shoulder.

One day, she'd be useful again.

The group packed up quickly, and they all looked at her.

"Are you ready to go, Kagome?" Shippo asked.

"I am if you are," she answered, feeling a smile start to break out across her face.

Inuyasha shifted his hold on her just a bit.

"You good?" He asked her, and she nodded.

"Yeah, I'm good."

She leaned against him, and she felt the slow sigh escape him.

Kagome thought that they might walk, but she hadn't expected them to run nearly all morning, stopping only at lunch.

Especially after their sprint yesterday.

Miroku sat beside her as Sango and Inuyasha discussed something that clearly wasn't making Inuyasha very happy.

"What are they talking about?" Kagome whispered to Miroku as he prepared the fire.

"Huh?" He looked over to the other two who looked ready to square off. "Oh, that."

"Yes, that. What are they talking about?"

"We are not near a village, and Inuyasha is—shall we say, concerned about the matter."

"We knew that this would happen on our way back though, right? That we'd have to stay outside at some point?"

"Yes, but we were hoping for a more defensible position. Inuyasha wants to head a bit more west, towards the mountains, and Sango is keener on making a straighter line towards Kaede's."

"Is it really that far out of the way?"

There might be a way to compromise between the two hard-heads.

"While it's not too far, it would take us out of the way about a half-day's travel. I do see the merit in both strategies, but I cannot say which one is the better plan."

"Oh," was all that Kagome could say to that.

"Do you have a preference?"

She shrugged slightly.

"I don't know," she answered. "I think I'd prefer to sleep in a cave tonight. After everything. But I also don't want to go out of our way to get there."

"See! Hear that!" Inuyasha shouted, jabbing a finger into Sango's face.

"Hear what?" Sango asked, knocking his finger out of her face.

"Kagome wants to go towards the mountains!"

Sango glared at Inuyasha and then at Miroku.

"I merely asked the lady where her preference was," Miroku answered, "and she answered."

"You're just pissy because I know Kagome better than you!"

"You do not!" Sango snapped, slugging Inuyasha in the shoulder.

Shippo edged his way towards the firepit, and Miroku threw a twig at his head.

"No," he warned, and Shippo hissed at him. "Don't hiss at me. It's not ready."

Kirara leapt up onto Miroku's shoulder with a chirp, and he turned his head slightly to look at her.

"Oh, are you talking to me now?"

Kirara trilled and bit his ear.

"Ow!" He shouted as Shippo lit the fire in his distraction. "Ack! Shippo!"

"Fire's started!" Shippo started, darting off as Kirara leapt off Miroku's shoulder with a joyous trill.

Miroku reached up to rub his ear that had two very distinct fang marks in the cartilage.

Kagome giggled.

"I guess she's still mad at you."

"And here I thought we were making progress." He rubbed the shell of his ear for just a bit. "Leave the two of them to team up."

He stoked the fire, tossing on the last of the wood as Inuyasha returned to sit by her side with two cups of Ramen and set them in front of her.

Kagome looked over at where he'd been, seeing Sango gone from camp.

"Where did Sango go?"

"She took the pot to go get some water." There was a lingering quiet for just a beat. "She's fine, Kagome."

"I know," she whined,gesturing to the forest around them. "It's just—everything, you know?"

A warm hand rubbed along her spine, and she leaned against his shoulder as they waited for Sango to come back.

"Try not to worry too much," Miroku said. "I promise that we are doing everything within our power to keep you safe."

"I know, but it still feels like something's going to come out of the trees and grab me or hurt you, and I know that I shouldn't feel like that, but I do!"

"That is an entirely reasonable feeling," Miroku answered, and Kagome let out a long breath that she'd been holding for far too long. "Considering everything that's happened, I would be surprised if you didn't have those fears."

"But I'm tired of feeling this way!"

"Tired of feeling what way?" Sango asked, setting the pot over the fire as the water sizzled and vaporized along the side of the pot.

"Ah, our dear Kagome is nervous being outside," Miroku explained, as Sango took a seat beside him.

"You have every right to be scared, Kagome," Sango said, leaning forward to shift the handle of the pot a bit. "But we're going to do whatever it takes to make sure all of us stay safe."

Kagome nodded as Inuyasha wrapped his arm around her shoulders, dragging her firmly against him.

She knew that her friends were telling the truth, and that they'd do whatever it took to keep all of them safe.

But the doubt was there that they'd be able to do anything, and she knew that she shouldn't ever doubt Inuyasha. Kikyo, however, was a different matter.

If it really came down to a choice of her or Kikyo?

She wanted to believe that he was telling the truth—that he really wanted her—that between the two of them, she was his final choice.

But all their history together, it still made her pause. It made her wonder if it really came to that, if he'd be able to turn away and let Kikyo die.

Because that's what Kikyo had implied was happening to her. She was killing Kikyo, and saying the words aloud felt like a death sentence on her own head.

So instead, she'd kept them quiet to herself.

Pretending like it had never happened, except that it had.

Because saying it felt like a death sentence too—just one of a different kind.

Sango and Miroku made their ramen cups, setting them in front to steam and soften.

Kagome took a deep breath as Kirara crawled into her lap.

"Oh, I see how it is," Miroku muttered, and Kagome let her fingers drift through the soft fur.

"I told you she holds a grudge."

"So how do I get her to stop holding a grudge?" Miroku asked, reaching to gently feel where Kirara had bitten him. "My ears are going to need more earrings at this rate."

Kirara grumbled something low in her throat as she looked at Miroku.

"Kirara, my love, how can we mend this brokenness between us?"

Miroku held his hands out to welcome her into his own lap. Kirara stared at him, before slowly stepping off and slowly creeping with her belly low to the ground towards Miroku, who was practically squirming in happiness.

He grinned widely, and he was clearly keeping extremely still in order to not frighten her off.

Kirara's paw lightly touched Miroku's robes as if testing the fabric.

"Sango!" Miroku whispered as Kirara slowly crept into his lap. "Sango! Look!"

"I'm looking," she answered quietly as she motioned for Kagome and Inuyasha to eat.

Inuyasha picked up their cups, and he let her grab hers as he took chopsticks from Sango and let Kagome grab hers first before using his own to stir the noodles.

"I'm going to pet her," Miroku whispered.

"I would not," Sango warned. "Let her come to you."

"She already came to me."

Sango hummed taking a bite of her noodles.

"She's going to bite your balls," Inuyasha told him, but even that couldn't stop Miroku's giddiness.

Kagome stirred her cup gently as she tried to make her stomach settle. She really wasn't hungry, but she knew that if she didn't eat something then there was going to be a hanyou that was definitely going to be all up in her business.

Not that she really minded. As long as it meant the same thing to him as it did her.

Which she really hoped it did.

His attentiveness gave her hope, it really did.

However, her stomach did not want noodles—or anything else for that matter.

She could practically feel Inuyasha's gaze boring into her as she tried to scrounge up the effort to take a bite and not make a face at it.

Taking a small bite, she could feel Inuyasha's tenseness and piercing gaze fade a bit more as he resumed eating.

He tossed the cup into the fire after a moment, and then sat beside her, waiting for her to finish.

Like that wasn't pressure enough.

Miroku finished next with Sango tossing both hers and Shippo's cups into the fire.

Leaving just her, and she'd only managed to eat half of it.

"Are you okay?" Sango asked, a hand gently resting on her knee.

"Yep!" Kagome answered as cheerfully as she could. "I'm fine!"

She saw Sango's eyes dart to Inuyasha, whose staring seemed to intensify a thousand fold.

Kagome tried not to wince at the strength of his eyes that seemed to try to burn a hole into her head in his attempt to figure out what was going inside of it.

"We can go now," she said, tossing her cup into the fire.

Clawed fingers snapped out, grabbing her wrist and stopping the motion. His other hand caught the cup of noodles before it hit the ground, not spilling even a singular drop of broth.

"You're eating," he ordered.

"It's okay, really. I ate a lot at breakfast!"

"She did eat a considerable amount," Miroku said and she only glimpsed the angry look Inuyasha shot at him.

"We'll eat something more substantial once we find a place to rest," Sango said.

"It's not like I'm doing that much to begin with."

"You're fucking healing!" Inuyasha snapped out. "And you need to fucking eat in order to fucking heal!"

"Inuyasha," she started, and she watched him tense up.

"No, you're not going to convince me to not let you eat!"

Kagome leaned back a little at his words.

"What do you mean?"

"That!" He motioned towards her in vague waving of his arms. "You always talk nice and say words, I'm not having it!" He held out the cup of noodles towards her. "So eat it and feel fucking better!"

"Inuyasha, I feel like I'm going to throw up if I eat more."

She slowly reached for the noodles, and he pulled it away from her reach and stared angrily at the noodles as though they had somehow offended him by just existing.

"Fine," he muttered, tipping the cup and practically inhaling the noodles in a few bites.

"Don't choke," she told him and he tossed the cup into the fire, shoving the chopsticks into her bag.

"Shippo, the fire," Miroku said, motioning to the fire pit.

"What about it?" Shippo asked, eyes darting to the fire and away.

"You started it. You put it out."

Shippo stared at the fire.

"The flames are taller than I am!"

"Which is why I wanted you to wait to start the fire. Now, you put it out."

"But what if I get burned? I'm just a child, Miroku!" Shippo cried, shaking his robes.

"You're a kitsune, Shippo. Maybe you're just pretending to be a child. Maybe you're really older than all of us. Maybe you're older than Inuyasha!"

"Ew. Gross. I'm not an old man!"

Inuyasha swiped at him as Shippo yelped and ducked towards Miroku, who grabbed his vest and placed him in front of the fire.

"Inuyasha won't hit you if you put the fire out."

"Really?" Shippo asked, looking over at Inuyasha for confirmation.

"Guess you'll have to find out after you put out the fire."

Inuyasha flashed his claws at Shippo, who yelped and started digging and kicking dirt up onto the flames.

Kagome giggled as she watched Shippo look like a little Pomeranian puppy trying to dig a hole in the yard.

"Are you hurting anywhere?" Sango asked. "I can get you something if you'd like."

"I'm okay," she said, "we can go when Shippo's done."

Sango followed Kagome's gaze as she turned and looked at the meager results that Shippo was accomplishing.

A soft roar and a fully transformed Kirara stepped up onto the other side of the fire. She turned, flicking her tails up in the air, and Kagome recognized the action before anyone else.

Her time of owning a cat for years was finally paying off.

She clawed her way into Inuyasha's lap as dirt sprayed across the fire, striking Miroku right in the face—and everywhere else.

Inuyasha had leapt just far enough to be out of the range of the dirt spray, and he held her gently against his chest.

Ultimately, the good news—the fire was out.

The bad news was that Miroku was probably going to need two baths.

A slight cough escaped him, and Kagome swore a small brown cloud puffed out of his mouth.

"I think that we can safely say that Kirara is still upset with you," Sango said as she held out her handkerchief to him. Miroku blinked at it before huffing and shaking his head so that dirt sprayed out in all directions.

"That is a very safe bet, I'd say." He took the bottle of water and dumped some water onto it before wiping his face.

Which just made it turn to mud.

And that forced Kagome to turn her face into Inuyasha's shoulder to avoid laughing outright at poor Miroku.

It didn't help, because she just snorted into the fire rat robe.

"Rude," Miroku commented, and then just sighed loudly. "I suppose there are worse things, especially if it makes our fair lady laugh."

Inuyasha's thumb rubbed along the edge of her knee, and she looked up at him. He was staring at Miroku with a grin on his face. Sure it was at the expense of their friend, but he was so handsome when he smiled, and it was so rare that she got to see him like this.

Lately, it almost seemed like everything was working against him being happy, and a lot of the time, it felt like it was all her fault.

She'd have to be better. She wasn't going to be the reason that his brilliance dimmed.

Because his smile made the world seem brighter.

"You think Kirara is going to let your ride on her back like that?" Inuyasha laughed.

"Are you offering?" Miroku asked, and Kagome turned to see him shaking his clothes free of the clods of grass that had landed on him.

"Fuck no!" Inuyasha said, recoiling a bit. "I carried your ass the last time you passed out."

"Like I was a sack of grain," Miroku pointed out.

"Did you your ass get carried or not?" Inuyasha snapped back. "I could've just dragged your ass by the heel face-down, but I was nice."

Miroku sighed heavily.

"I will be back in a moment," he said turning around and heading into the trees and in the same direction that Sango had gone to retrieve water.

Sango looked at Kirara, who had resumed her smaller form.

"Don't you think you've punished him enough?" Sango asked as the small cat curled around her legs as she walked. Sango picked up the small cat, who trilled with tails lazily swinging from side to side. "You're adorable," she muttered, setting the cat down on the ground. Kirara chirped, bounding off to go play with Shippo.

Before Kagome could ask anything, Inuyasha sat down, with her still in his lap. His arms wrapped around her in such a way that she was almost forced to lean against him.

His thumb kept a slow and rhythmic pace up and down her knee, and from the look at his face, she didn't even think the he realized that he was doing it in the first place.

"Oi! Runt! Help Sango!"

"You could be helping too," Sango pointed out.

"I'm on guard duty," he answered, arms tightening up just a bit.

Judging from the look that he shot her a moment later, Sango must've muttered something under her breath.

"What was that?" Inuyasha asked.

"You heard me, or are those dog ears just for show?"

He snarled at her, and Sango merely shot him a deadpanned look.

"If you're going to threaten, then at least get on your feet and do it."

He turned Kagome closer, clearly pouting and glaring at Sango's back as she worked.

Kagome noted that Shippo still moved in to help and pack away their gear, and Kirara quickly changed into her larger shape to be ready when Miroku returned.

Sango scratched the large diamon on Kirara's head as the fire cat leaned into it.

"You're going to have to be nicer to him or you're going to hurt his feelings, and we all know how bad he pouts. He's worse than Inuyasha."

"I heard that!"

"Good to know those ears aren't for show then."

Inuyasha turned away from her with a scoff, shifting to rest his chin on top of Kagome's head.

They'd left the clearing with no issues and even found a small little cavern nestled inside the base of the mountain.

It was barely big enough for the five of them to sleep without being right next to someone else, and the ceiling wasn't angled right in order to build a fire inside.

Miroku had warded the place, and Sango had promised to stay with her the entire time that Inuyasha was gone hunting.

It was the only way that he was going to leave to find food for them.

He'd clearly wanted to go, but once he'd sat her down on her sleeping bag, he hadn't wanted to leave her alone.

Miroku and Shippo built the fire, and Kirara and Sango stayed inside with her.

"Sorry," Kagome said, with a sigh. She'd preferred to be outside and sitting in the warmth of the sun and the fire, instead of in the dark little cave.

"Don't apologize. I'm happy to do it."

"It would be better if we were able to sit outside though."

Sango made a noise of agreement.

"Yes, well, this is the only way that we could compromise on Inuyasha leaving your side for more than a couple of minutes."

"I still feel bad. He's doing so much."

"Trust me, Kagome. He wouldn't be doing all this if he didn't really want to."

Kagome let out another soft sigh.

"Yeah, but I don't want him to feel obligated to do it."

She never wanted him to feel any obligation towards her. She never wanted him to think that he had to do something because she wanted it, or worse, out of guilt.

Sango snorted into her hand.

"Kagome, I swear that Inuyasha is not doing anything that he doesn't want to do."

"But—"

"The only thing he didn't want to do was leave you here."

Kagome looked up from where she was gently rubbing Kirara's ears to see Sango grinning at her.

"Wha—?"

"Kagome, you can't be serious," Sango said, giving her a look that expressed all her disappointment and frustration at her. She blinked once and then rubbed her face with her hand. "He's being—he's so obvious!"

"Obvious about what?"

Sango opened her mouth to speak as she tilted her head to the side, and then there was a loud crash and a thud.

Inuyasha threw a small deer onto the ground.

"You okay?" Inuyasha asked, staring into the cave. Eyes clearly looking for something.

"We're fine," Sango deadpanned. "Miroku would be dead if she wasn't."

"Wait," Miroku said, turning towards her. "I was the first line of defense? You were making poor Shippo a sacrificial lamb?"

"Sango only said that you were dead. I clearly got away."

"Thank you, Shippo," Miroku stated plainly.

"Okay," Inuyasha said, giving a quick nod and then looking down at the deer. "I'll go clean this then." He hesitated before grabbing the deer by the throat and leaping off out of sight again.

Kagome watched him.

"I can't believe you killed me," Miroku said, looking at Sango.

"Go start the fire, Miroku," Sango ordered.

"Shippo, start the fire," he said over his shoulder, leaning against the entrance. "Honestly, you could've at least killed Shippo to so that I didn't have to die alone. I mean, really."

"Can I make the fire big?" Shippo asked.

"Sure," Miroku answered. "Big enough to roast a deer and a deer only," he corrected, turning back to face her.

"You'd want me to kill a child so you looked less pathetic?"

"Not when you put it like that! I'm not a monster, Sango!"

Sango just stared at him blankly as Miroku crossed his arms.

"I'm not talking to you anymore about this."

"Well, I'm not!" Miroku hesitated. "I mean, I am!—Wait—We are still talking about this!" He started to walk inside and bounced off the barrier, knocking himself onto his butt.

Fire leapt up into the air behind him, and he turned to look at the little fire tornado that appeared behind Miroku.

"Shippo," Miroku sighed, "please tell me you did not just burn up all the wood."

"But you told me not to lie," Shippo answered.

There was a long inhale and exhale from Miroku, and Kirara nudged Kagome's hand to keep up the rubbing.

"Okay, then go find more firewood."

"You want me to go into the woods alone?"

"Clearly, you survived all our pretend scenarios, so I'm sure you'll be fine."

"I guess I have to do everything around here," Shippo muttered stalking off out of her line of sight.

"And don't pick just the twigs!" Miroku shouted after him. He turned back to Sango, still sitting on the ground. "So I'm just fodder to you, huh?"

This time, Sango sighed, clearly exasperated with the conversation, and turning to give Kagome a look.

"You picked him," she pointed out and Sango groaned.

"I know!" She whined. "Why did you let me?"

"I didn't let you do anything," Kagome said. "You just picked him and told us you did."

"Well, I was obviously delirious and probably concussed!"

"Ah, well, then you clearly wanted me on a more—shall we say—primal level?"

"How is it possible that you can take anything and turn it into something completely inappropriate?"

"It is a gift, much like you claim my fingers are." He grinned as Sango sputtered and choked on her words. "Sango agrees with me a lot when we discuss it."

Sango, to her credit, recovered quickly and threw a large rock at him and would've nailed Miroku in the face, had the barrier not made it bounce off harmlessly.

"I swear, I am going to murder you in your sleep."

"All the more reason to stay up at night and scratch our itches."

"I can do that," Shippo said, appearing a moment later with an armful of small branches. "You don't have to stay up all night. I can scratch really good!"

"Uh," Miroku cleared his throat. "Thanks Shippo."

"No problem." He said, patting the small pile of wood.

Another thud came to the side, and both Miroku and Shippo looked up.

"Meat's cleaned," Inuyasha said, "you got stakes?"

"Over here," Shippo said, pointing to the wooden skewers that they'd cleaned and prepared for the meat. They staked several pieces next to the fire and then Inuyasha was shaking wet hands at the entrance.

"You wanna take this down?" He motioned to the entrance of the cave. "Not looking forward to zapping my ass."

"Fine," Sango said, rising to her feet and pulling the ofuda off the wall. The barrier disappeared and Inuyasha stepped inside, past Sango and knelt down in front of her.

"How're you doing?" He asked, already picking her up and moving her outside.

"I'm okay," she answered. There was still a little bit of sunlight left as Inuyasha moved her out into the daylight to sit near the fire.

"This is warmer," he answered as if justifying his actions.

There had been a very slight chill in the cave, but it hadn't even been enough to merit getting a blanket or anything of the sort.

"There," he said, settling her down. "You need anything?"

She shook her head.

"I'll get you some water," he said, shifting over to her bag and digging out a bottle of water.

"Honestly, I'm okay," she answered, but he clearly wasn't hearing any of it as he took her sleeping bag and began stretching it out inside the cave like he was making sure that she'd have enough room to fit.

"Hey, Inuyasha?" She called and his ears flicked up before the rest of him did, and he was on his feet, moving towards her.

Patting the ground beside her, she waited.

He huffed out of his nose a bit before he plopped down beside her.

Good. That's what she wanted anyway.

"You feeling okay?" He asked as she looped her arms through his and rested her head against his shoulder.

"I'm better now."

His posture loosened a bit—the muscles no longer as tense and almost pressurized, like he was waiting for something to happen.

She relaxed too. Letting the fear uncoil as he sat there beside her, ears swiveling around the woods as she watched the fire cook the meat slowly.

Her friends joined them, all sitting around the fire as the day slowly burned away to nothing.

A/N: Happy Thursday! Sango has realized that they're not playing hard to get, they're just literally idiots.

I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. It was a little longer than usual, but I wanted to make sure that since I'm going to take a break until the start of the new year that I sent you off into the night with a bit of comfy reading. So this is my notice that I'm going to take a short break until after the new year.

For the record, my stash of chapters is dwindling, and between school and my parents moving, I have been working 7-7ish every day and then even more on the weekends, so I'm just braindead most days.

I know it's been like almost a month since I updated, but I'm just struggling. Hopefully I can get my feet back under me and have a decent backlog again.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a blessed New Year. I think we could all use a break.