And here we have Chpt 3! I hope you're enjoying, thanks for reading ^-^

ROBYN POV

Fire. Smoke. Breaking bottles and plates. Wood groaning against the heat, and walls crumbling from the weight of the roof. In a small heap at the foot of the stairs to the basement, blinking in the dim light. Orange glow flickered at the top of the stairs, occasionally blotted out from the smoke choking the air. Smoke? Fire. I whimpered as my arms ached, covered in cuts and scrapes from the fall down the stairs. Fall. More like a throw. He threw me in, locked the door, set it all on fire. But why?

I winced. "M-Mum…"

No one would answer. No one would ever answer to that name again. Not now that he had cut open her throa–

I blinked.

The ceiling of my quarters stared back.

Late morning sunlight filtered through the slightly open window, allowing a breeze to drift in, shifting the drawn curtain. I shivered. That dream hadn't crawled into place for so long, why now? Oh. Of course. The answer came soon enough when I tried to sit up and found myself bound to my bed.

Oh god.

That wasn't a dream. He had been right there, taunting me, jeering at me, snarling. I slumped back into the sheets and tried to take deep breaths. Why him? Why had he turned up after all this time? I swallowed hard and my ribbon caught my eye as it shifted in the breeze. Reason had nothing to do with it. That was what Keza would say. It had happened and now… Now I had one hell of a mess left lying at my feet.

Steps approached my door. I closed my eyes and tried to feign sleep, what the hell was going to happen to me? Would I be locked up? Used as one of the new convict busy-bodies? Doubtful. Dammit if he still had enough influence, they might even push for a death sentenc–

"She's still asleep." The Commander's voice warbled into my room shortly before the door closed behind him and from the sound of it, one more person. Eld? Mike maybe. Or would it be the Captain? "Has there been any report on her waking?"

"None. I sent Mike and Eld away so they could continue their duties, they've already given statements."

"And she just passed out? No one hit her?"

"No, none of us had the need to once Eld and Mike got hold of her. It happened fast."

"Indeed." The Commander stepped closer, and as he loomed, I tried not to move. It was like knowing a sword swung overhead, and all I had to do was hope when it fell, it missed my body. "You say she looked afraid before she attacked the convict?"

"I could see from across the damn room she was terrified. This is not some random attack, there's a history."

"History or not, she's still attacked someone put into our charge."

"He's a damn convict Erwin, hardly a victim."

"When half his ribs are broken, his skull nearly caved in and a punctured lung is suspected, yes, he's a victim. But why she did it, that's my main concern at this point."

The Captain clicked his tongue. "Why? What difference does that ma–"

"It would inform me of whether or not Sanshi is in fact a time-bomb simply waiting to go off, and next time on a fellow Scout, or if this was something from her past that simply… snuck up on her. Determining that is going to help me know how to proceed."

A seat creaked by my bed, the Captain had presumably sat down. "She'd never attack a fellow Scout."

"And you surmise that, how?"

As grateful as I am to know the Captain was on my side, as much as he was on anyones, I was rather keen to know as well. What had I done to convince him of that?

"I surmise it by knowing her via serving alongside her, Erwin. Don't forget that whilst you're behind your damned desk, me and Mike etc. are actually out amongst the brats. You've seen her reports, hard the feedback from Shadis and other trainers, the one consistent point of concern is always–"

"I take your point."

"Do you? Seems like you've conveniently forgotten."

"I have to consider this from the broader scope, Levi. You know that."

"Yeah, yeah."

The Captain was really defending me, huh? The useless rookie making his job harder than it needed to be. Safe to say, I am very confused. But at least I'm not in a cell and confused. Although hold on, what was that? My feedback? What the hell had Shadis been saying about me now?

A heavy sigh sounded from the Commander. "Do you think she'd explain herself to you? I assume her comrades have been questioned? Beyond Mike and Eld I mean."

"Petra knew very little, although she was quick to point out how much Sanshi has always taken the time to look after folks on the battlefield. She might not know their names, but she doesn't want them to be left there either. She cares about people."

"Noted. It is a pity we don't know more prior to her waking, with any luck she'll be forthright." The Commander headed back towards the door. "See what you can coax out of her, Levi. I sincerely hope she has the sense to talk to you."

Shit. I'm going to have to tell them all about it, aren't I? The past was meant to be just that, passed. Yet it stuck to the bottom of my shoe like dog shit. Just leave me alone. Dammit. And after all that, I hadn't even managed to keep my promise. They spoke about him like he was still alive. Damn. I couldn't do it even now? Maybe he was right. Maybe I was just useless. A useless rat.

The door clicked shut.

Left alone in my room with Captain Levi. Not a very normal feeling, by any stretch of the imagination. No doubt his keen eyes were scanning every detail of my room; I just hoped I had dusted well enough yesterday. Then again, could anyone dust well enough for this man?

"Why the hell did you do it, Robyn?"

He used my first name. Had he ever done that before? Not that I minded, but it sounded weird. I wasn't sure why; he said 'Petra' and 'Gunter' etc. often enough. But for some reason, my own name sounded rather odd. The chair creaked. My hair was pushed back gently, barely touched by his fingertips.

"How the hell can that old fuck have scared you so much?"

It was like he didn't believe it, because he thought I was too strong. Maybe. Or I was just hearing what I wanted to, ignoring some distinct tone of contempt.

There didn't seem to be any advantage to hiding any longer. I drew a long breath and blinked, frowning up at the deeper gold against the ceiling. It was later in the day that I had realised. When I glanced towards the Captain he had sat back, staring at me with disinterest. He must have moved. I hadn't imagined the closeness and the hair touch, had I?

He nodded. "Feeling more sane?"

"Not sure any Scout counts as entirely sane, sir."

His brows raised and he folded one leg over the other, resting his hands on his knee. "I see your point. But still, we going to have a problem?"

"No, sir." I clarified, shifting my wrists and looking down at the clanking. "Guess I really lost it back there, huh?"

"One way to put it. Mike and Eld barely managed to hold you back."

I cringed and closed my eyes, both of them would need an apology. No doubt they would struggle to look at me the same way. Damn it. With any luck I hadn't actually hurt them.

My lips trembled for a moment. "He deserved it, sir."

"Not really your call. Who is he?"

"He was my…" I swallowed and opened my eyes again, hardly surprised to find the view blurred by tears. Damn. Stop it. This is not who I was meant to be now, this was the old me, the little girl left for dead in a damn basement. "Do you have a part of your past you wish you could just forget, sir?"

He was quiet. I glanced at him, the movement spilling my tears. His eyes were to the side, lips in a thin line. He then shrugged and fixed his eyes on me, narrowing them slightly when noting the tears. It wasn't a ploy. As if I'd try to get sympathy from a man like that. Plus, crying women weren't nearly as effective as folks liked to pretend, more often than not, it just led to them being taken advantage of.

"I'm not the focus here, Cadet. Who is he?"

That wasn't a no.

But I knew there was no way around it. Between the Captain and the Commander, not to mention my friends and their concern, answers were needed. I had to explain. The past needed to be served up, examined and judged. Shit. Stupid girl. You could have just walked away, ignored his jibes, told Eld to deal with the old fool and be done with it. But then again… What would that have accomplished? Without proper explanation, nothing much would have been done. He would have been lingering around the base. Taunting me at every turn. Tainting every damn day until I finally snapped. So either way, the truth was coming out. Either way, I had to reveal it. At least this way I'd gotten a decent shot at keeping my promise. Even if I hadn't succeeded.

"He was my father. V-Vincent Sanshi."

The name tasted like vomit.

"He's not dead yet, Cadet, past tense isn't need–"

"It's been a long time since he was anything like a Father to me, so yeah, sir. Past tense it is."

"Fair enough." Captain Levi hooked his arm over the back of the chair and considered me closely, like he was deciding where to make the first cut. "Daddy issues… Didn't see that coming."

I jolted. Did he just make a joke? Was… Was that him attempting to lighten the mood? But why bother? Maybe a means of getting more information out of me? Nah. He would get that either way. No need to soften me up. Maybe he was just trying to be kind?

"I'm a real original gal, sir." I snorted and bit my lip, looking back to the ceiling and gripping the sheets. "He's still alive then… Heh… Couldn't even kill him right."

"So you did intend to kill?"

"Yup." I saw no reason to hide that fact, anyone that had been there would know that. The Captain likely did deep down, even if he didn't want to admit it for whatever reason.

"Why? I'm guessing it was more than a forgotten birthday or two?"

"Mm. Little more." My nails creaked against the sheets, my grip tightening till I felt them curl against my palms, digging in. I swallowed. "You've seen my back, right? In the communal showers?"

He nodded.

I pursed my lips. "Well… That's part of it. That enough?"

He shook his head.

I gritted my teeth. "W-Why not?"

"Because you and I both know he has ties to the nobles, and if he was still convicted even though he's one of their pals, he must have done some pretty shady shit. And if it was against you, it helps. I get not wanting to open the door on the past, Sanshi. I do. But right now, it's that or you're just landing yourself in a shit load of trouble."

Seemed like I was already waist deep. Plenty space still to sink.

They had already looked into who Vincent was, already found records. But of course, those records would be incomplete. Nobles didn't want dirty laundry to be found. Thankfully the Scouts weren't fools though, and the Captain was entirely correct. The fact there had been any conviction, when being so chummy with them showed the depth of Vincent's depravity. Or alternatively, how badly he had fucked up. I never knew why exactly he hadn't been spared punishment, be it their disgust or a want to keep him contained. I hadn't wanted to look. But here it all was, steaming at my feet.

Just lay it out like a damn mission report. Easy.

I sat up slightly, shifting enough to be upright but not to pull on the bindings. My head swam with the movement, but after a few breaths things stilled. My hair fell in front of my face and the breeze shifted the curtain to tap against the back of my head. Just do it. Say it. Find out where the cards land. Who knows, they might even let me go down there and finish the job. I smirked at myself. Not likely.

I had to give the Captain credit where it was due, he was being very patient with me. It seemed he really did mean it when he said he understood not wanting to open the door. Whatever that meant for Captain Levi, I'd likely never know. But it was good to be aware of common ground. Made my own footing seem less shaky.

And yet, when I opened my mouth, I gagged. Like the words had latched onto the base of my throat. No. Leave it where it belonged. Don't drag their corpses into the present, don't lay them there to be gawped at. Don't shine a light onto his mania, his cruelty, his persistent fists and endless ranting hatred. Leave it back there. Unseen. Unknown.

The Captain sighed. "Fine, work on it for now. It'll need spilled eventually though, Brat."

"Sir." I closed my eyes and sniffed. "Thank you."

"I said so last night, didn't I? Part of my job is looking after the cadets, and I guess part of that is letting you work up the damn nerve to explain all this. You're shaken, I get it, just don't make them wait too damned long." He stood and smoothed his already immaculate uniform. "I'll go speak with the Commander, you'll be confined to your quarters for the foreseeable future. Though a guard is posted outside. If you need something, call out. You're being watched, but you're not exactly a prisoner."

"Th-Thank you."

He nodded and walked away, closing the door and murmuring to whomever was posted outside. I sat alone for about fifteen minutes before Petra came in and sat with me. She played cards with me and did her best to avoid the subject. I explained that it was something from the past. Something I wanted to move beyond. She teared up, just how I expected she might. She hugged me so tightly. That, I hadn't expected. Revulsion, sure. Pity, maybe. But a heartfelt hug and an ask for me to not be so shut off? Okay… I guess that's Petra for you.

As the evening wore on, my dinner was brought in and one of my hands was freed for eating. My skin itched with the day's grime. I was allowed to go for a shower, under guard, and Petra said she would stay in the room as well as the guard being outside the door. Fine by me. I didn't plan to run from this. Judging from their faces, they knew that. But orders were orders.

The hot water hit my skin, and I sighed. Petra was sat on the bench beyond the curtain, taking the time to do some threadwork on her jacket. The shoulder kept ripping. I scrubbed my body clean and then braced against the tiles. Quiet settled around us. If only I could scrub off the past the same way. The water gurgled at the drain, carrying the day away from me and my body. But the past lingered. Damn. Was it ever going to leave me be?

A knock sounded, and Petra stood, going to the door as I remained behind the curtain, seeing no reason to stop my shower yet. My little haven of pattering water. Like when me and Keza used to play in the summer rain, when it was warm enough that we didn't risk pneumonia. I smirked. Unless we fell asleep before changing. Happened too often. Stupid kids.

Petra cleared her throat. "Robyn, you nearly done in there?"

"Do I have to be?" I chuckled, before sensing the tone and sighing. "I can be, sure."

"If you're happy to have a talk with the Captain in there, it doesn't seem to bother him."

I smirked, oh boy, another chew out from the Captain in nothing but my bare arse. Well, if I was about to be carted down to the dank dungeons anyway, I might as well milk the hot water tanks for all their worth. Might make it easier to finally spit out the truth from here anyway, from behind a flimsy curtain, but at least I wouldn't see his face.

"Still trying to loosen myself off, so yeah, bring him on in. Happy to chat."

"All right, I'll be outside." She murmured to the Captain before leaving and his boots approached the curtain, pausing before sitting on the bench as Petra had.

"Evening, sir." I ran my fingers through my hair.

Silence responded loudly.

I swallowed hard and traced a crack in the tiling in front of me, shivering took to my skin despite the heat of the water.

He heaved a heavy sigh.

I gulped. "That doesn't sound like it's going to be good news–"

"He's dead."

I stared ahead, finger poised over the tiling, whole body rigid. Water dribbled past my eyes, dripped off the end of my nose, gathered and spilled across my lips. What? Dead? My heart thundered in my ears, drowning out the water. The anger, fear and hatred, the venom that spilled from his thin lips, the fury he threw around with his fists. All gone. Dead. Finished. My palm pressed to the tiling. Dead. He was dead. After seventeen years, he was finally gone? Truly gone. Not waiting under a bed to suddenly jump out and haunt me. Gone. Dead. Finished.

Promise, kept.

My lips pursed, but it was bubbling up from inside me, the laughter. The glee. It blossomed in my chest and even with my hand clamping over my mouth, the noise rippled out of me. I laughed. I laughed long and hard, knees giving out and body slumping into the shower bowl. My head leaned against the tiles and my mouth stretched in that raucous sound. He was dead! I had finally done it, I had made it at least slightly worthwhile that I got out of that damned basement. I did it. Can you feel it, Mother? The freedom? He's gone! He's–

"Sanshi, stop it."

I couldn't if I tried.

"Dammit, brat, stop. This is serious, this is murder."

"Then hang me." I giggled, tears mixing with the shower water. "Throw me over Wall Rose and feed me to a damn Titan."

"Don't give me that shit."

"Why not?" I snorted and scraped my hair back, heart feeling light, and as I brought my hands round in front of my face they finally looked clean. For the first time since that birthday, so long ago, they were actually clean. No more blood and soot. Clean. "I did it. I fucking kept my promise."

"And if you're executed because of it? You really don't care?"

"Why the fuck should I? Who the hell would mourn a useless rat?" I snorted into a fresh bout of laughter and thunked my head off the tiling. "I don't regret it, sir. Sorry. Not for a damn second, so thanks for the information. One less bastard in the world… Whether the nobles like it or not." I cackled and dragged myself upright.

"What the hell did he do?"

"Does it even matter now?"

"It might."

I smirked between giggles, unsure of why the Captain was so keen to save me, but then again I guess the Scouts are hardly over-staffed. It was likely nothing more than not wanting to have to fill another slot. I turned off the water, roughly dried my hair and wrapped the towel around my body. No more hiding. Then again, no more monster to hide from. I pulled back the curtain and met the eyes of the Captain.

He glared. "What did he do?"

It didn't make any sense. The bastard was dead, gone, why did his crimes matter? It didn't change my crime. I killed a man. That was clear. Right? What wriggle room did the Captain expect to find in my past?

He clicked his tongue. "Revealing the past can be shitty, sure, but on the off-chance it saves your damned life? Spill it. Say it. Keeping it secret just lets it continue to win, surely?"

Well damn.

He had a point.

I tilted my head. "You really think it'll change a damn thing?"

"There's a chance. So take it."

Something burned in his gaze, a determination that was usually reserved for the battle-field. Well alright then, if you insist…

I'd just mission report it. Keep a distance.

I licked my lips, sat on the bench and clasped my hands tight. "He committed two murders, my mother and my brother. One attempted murder, myself. Burned our house down, with me still inside, planning on me being taken out along with all of the evidence. This following a lifetime of beatings, torment and whatever the fuck it was he was doing to me when he carved that shit into my back. Sir." I added the last bit in a small choke because as ever, my damn body reeled at the very notion of what had come before.

The words hung there in the steamed air.

And there it was. Robyn Sanshi, capable soldier, was dead. Robyn Sanshi, whimpering victim, had been resurrected. It took a couple tries, but eventually my gaze managed to meet the Captain's, fully expecting to find pity there, contempt even. Instead, I found little more than a simple acknowledgment.

He nodded. "I see. Quite the bill the bastard racked up."

"Mm." I swallowed hard, coughing slightly when the air seemed barbed against my dry throat. The Captain went to the door, murmured something and came back with a tumbler to fill with water. He handed it over and I sipped carefully, keeping my eyes fixed on the metal cup.

"And the marks on your back… You don't know what they're from?"

Not that it bloody mattered. "No, sir. Guess I blocked them out."

"When did this happen? The murders."

"When I was about nine or so." The water rippled. "So a little over seventeen years-ish."

He leaned back against the sinks, folding his arms, head slightly lowered as his mind whirred. So, did these gory details make a damned difference? Was I worth any trouble beyond handing me over to the MP's – or to the mercy of the nobles once they found out.

The Captain sighed. "Do you know anything more about his connection to the nobles?"

"Nothing beyond it being my main theory on him not being executed, sir." I gripped the bench, wishing I knew where the hell this conversation was going. Cells? Execution? Some kind of saving grace via the Scouting Regiment?

"All right. So he wasn't given a free pass, for whatever reason, but they certainly wanted him to be forgotten and rot."

"I wasn't even sure he was still alive until… Well, until he spoke and I recognised the voice."

The Captain's eyes went wide for a mere moment. "Blindsided then. Explains the look on your face. Thought you were going to shit yourself."

"Reckon I thought that too." I smirked and looked down at my lap. "I can accept my fate either way, but do you honestly think that information is going to help?"

"I do."

I blinked. "Seriously? W-Why?"

He raised a brow. "Makes it sound like you don't want it to help."

"No I… I don't want to die, of course not, but… I dunno, I hadn't really thought of anything beyond the promise. With that done… I had to just concentrate on that."

"The hell was this promise that you're so happy to throw your life away for?"

"Regardless, if I hadn't done it, he'd have taken my life anyway."

The Captain rolled his eyes. "How would that old shit have managed–"

"One way or the other, he'd have done it." I shrugged, wiping the tears that had no place rolling over my cheeks. "I dunno how, but he'd have found a way. He had a way with that kinda thing..."

"Dangerous guy, huh?" The Captain nodded, eyes to the side as though looking into his own past. We all dragged a bit of shit on our shoes I guess.

I leaned back. "The promise was… I… I promised my mother I would kill him for hurting her and my brother. That… Well yeah, that's about it. Simple, but… took me long enough." I closed my eyes and laughed softly again. "Fucking hell I really did it."

"Yeah. You did. I'll have Petra escort you back to your room and remain there as a guard for now, while I talk to the Commander. No idea how this is gonna go Sanshi but… Thanks for telling me."

I jolted as a hand was extended towards me, and after a moment's hesitation I took it, and we shook hands firmly.

I stood, letting go of his hand. "Thanks for listening, sir."

Where I had worried I would find pity, instead, I had the strangest feeling, I saw a glimmer of respect.

And there we have it... Thanks for reading and everything else. I had so much fun rewriting these scenes!