And here we are! A whole week (well whole working week and that extra one I did on sunday... I know what I mean) of uploads! I wanted to start with a bit of a bang haha, so here we are! Going to shift to weekly uploads after tomorrow, likely posting on a Friday, or that's the intention!

ROBYN POV

No. Stop it. Let go of him. Don't do this. Don't take him. His body writhed in the grip, blade hacking at the hand, presumably dulled by the previous uses. But he couldn't reload. No. He had been too busy grabbing my sorry hide. Please. I tried to move, tried to act, but all I could do was watch. Snap. His face contorted in pain, lips stretched in a bellow. Someone. Someone better than me, help him, get him out of there. Dammit. No!

I sat bolt upright and stared at the dark, quiet infirmary surrounding me and my small bed.

Back at base?

When did we… I shook my head and lay back down, body aching as it objected to the sudden movement. The waggon. Yeah. He was in the waggon with me, wasn't he? I didn't imagine that. No. He talked to me about the world beyond Maria. I hadn't killed my Captain.

I closed my eyes. I hadn't dreamt that bit, had I?

"How're you feeling, Kiddo?" From the darkness Hanji's voice whispered closer and I peeked, noting how her glasses flashed in what little moonlight managed to sneak into the building. "Want me to put some pillows behind you? Keep you propped up?"

I nodded.

She helped me and offered some water. I sipped and winced at the pain in my throat, coughing softly and placing my hand there. My skin was hard with scabs littering it. The burns were bad then.

Hanji lit the candle by the bed after closing the curtain around my bunk. "You're doing well, I think I've managed to avoid infection. I did some work on the way back when Ral noticed you were starting to get feverish."

"Damn it, dramatics as usual, sorry. Thanks for the help though."

Hanji frowned. "Why're you apologising for being ill?"

My lips closed around silence. Old habit. I shrugged and sipped again. "How come you're in here so late?"

"I… Well I admit, I was rather keen to talk to you as soon as you'd woken up. You're one of the few people who've been into a Titan's mouth and lived to tell the tale! And you don't seem completely unhinged."

"Yet." I winked and she grinned, bringing out a notepad. I snorted and sipped the water again. "If it can be helpful in the end, great. I feel like a damn fool."

"Ral said that Abnormal came out of nowhere. A whole bunch of them were just lying in wait, and that asshole practically erupted from the ground apparently. No one could have seen it coming."

I sighed. "Bet the Captain wasn't impressed though." The water rippled in my grip. "He… He got out, right? I didn't imagine that?"

"Shorty's fine." She smirked and tilted her head. "Kept asking after you though, interestingly. In his own demented manner, but still."

I frowned down at the water, unsure why the Captain would bother himself with me after I had screwed up so badly. He saved me. Why linger any further?

Hanji leaned forward. "Are you two fucking?"

I blinked. She didn't take it back. I snorted and laughter bubbled out of me as I shook my head. She'd finally lost it for real.

She raised a brow. "Huh, no?"

"No! C'mon Hanji, what're you talking about? Like he'd waste his time on a rat like me." I leaned back in my pillow. "Funny though, I'll give you that."

"Sounds like you wouldn't mind if he tried though." She smirked as my cheeks burned.

Ah, shit. Guess I didn't object in that manner at all, did I? I hadn't really thought about the man in that way. Being so cold and closed off it was hard to think of him as human sometimes. But maybe that was the point. My well-being isn't your concern. He didn't want anyone distracting themselves for him. So I guess, with the subject brought up, what would I think of that? Of the Captain in that way. He was handsome, that much was obvious. He was decent to talk to on the rare occasion he removed the stick from up his arse. Sure. I guess I had no reason to be affronted by the idea of shagging him. But still, I highly doubted his standards agreed with me. So meticulous and careful, perfect in his movements and decisions, he'd be better suited to someone like Petra. She was pretty, put-together, kind, not a hair out of place, likely from a good family as well.

"Are you day-dreaming about fucking Shorty or are you actually not okay to be talking yet?" Hanji looked me over and I shook myself free of my tangent.

"Sorry, probably the pain-killers or something. Ask me whatever you want, Hanji."

And she did. Oh boy, she did. Tea was brought in, and some light food for me to persuade my stomach to keep hold of. I was checked over, but then it was straight back to questions. By the time the sun peeked through the infirmary windows, she had finally put her notepad down.

She grinned. "Thank you so much, Robyn. As ever, you go the extra mile for the cause."

"My own idiocy might as well benefit someone." I laid down under my blankets and yawned. "Gonna catch some more sleep before I'm discharged later."

"Sure thing, see you at lunch!" And she scampered off.

The infirmary was waking up all around me, nurses coming and going, patients groaning awake. I nuzzled into my pillow, wondering momentarily why the Captain wasn't in there anyway, his ribs must have been at least fractured. But I guess he would want to recover in his own chambers. Cleaner that way. I'd have to go visit him later, thank him properly for helping me. Was Jack still alive? Be it via a Titan or the wrath of the Captain, it seemed unlikely.

And which of us would be confirmed for the squad?

I smirked and closed my eyes. Not likely to be me, the woman who got eaten by a Titan and spat back out.

LEVI POV

As brilliant as Erwin usually was, being ten steps ahead of everyone else, the man looked completely thrown by Levi's request. Take Sanshi off his team. Give her to Mike, or even her own team in recognition of her great work on the field; anything but Levi's own squad. Levi sipped his tea. There was often a strange line between him and Erwin, Captain and Commander, and occasionally, friend to friend. After their rocky beginnings a deep-set respect had bloomed between them, and as much as Levi had hated the man to begin with, he now valued his opinion and held his trust in high regard. Farlan and Isabel would have been shocked, perhaps initially affronted, but they would have also understood once they'd served alongside the blonde giant for a few months. Determined didn't cover it. As much as the three of them had sought freedom, Erwin obsessed over it. Beyond the walls. The truth. Those motivations kept him going, kept him charging forward despite the shit and hate thrown under his feet.

Still, in that moment, sat in Levi's office with tea steaming between them, the Commander looked like a total fool, blinking and then slowly frowning.

"Levi… I do not understand this."

"What? Transfer her, I'll do it if you want, but it seemed more your area, and it would be cleaner if it came from you."

"Yes I understand asking me to do it in your stead, but you gave her such a glowing report, despite her injuries and the incident with the Abnormal. You commended her actions. So why be rid of her? Is that not a prime candidate for your personal squad?" Those quick, keen blue eyes didn't waver from Levi for a moment. They narrowed. "Or is there more going on here than you have said?"

Levi set his cup down and shifted his weight, the wrappings on his ribs were due for a change within the next hour. "The transfer is no reflection on her ability to serve. I already said that."

"So what is it a reflection of? She'll ask why, you know she will."

Of course she would. She'd frown, tilt her head and put her hands on those hips of hers. No. Perhaps worse, she'd close her eyes and nod, asking why in a small manner, unsure of herself but wanting to know where it went wrong so she could learn. She knew she was good on the gear. She knew that much at least. But she doubted herself once things went awry, blaming herself before anything else. It had been chance. And Sente being a damn moron. So Levi had to give a reason, to stop her totally doubting herself from then on. Doubt could lead her down a wobbling path, one quick to end in death.

Levi sighed. "She didn't seem suited to my command style."

"You said she followed orders to the letter. Tell me the real reason, and I may be able to help you concoct a false one." Erwin smirked. "I was always better at half-truths than you."

"Yet I was the criminal, supposedly." Levi rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

It was true, he wouldn't be able to slip it past Erwin without explanation. Clearly his friend had deduced that it was something bothering Levi, and the Commander had figured out it could be something that might affect the regiment. Even if only on a squad level. But the fact was, Levi wasn't sure of it himself. The foolish notions that gripped him on the field that day, the need to get her out of that Titan's mouth, the alarm he had felt when she was flung into that building and the beast reached in after her.

"Levi." Erwin's smirk had faded, and he set his tea down, leaning forward on the desk, chin resting on the back of his clasped hands. Serious. Solemn. All manner of teasing vanished. "From the reports, I did get the sense that you went to extra trouble to retrieve the cadet from harm's way. Was that me reading into things too much or… perhaps part of the reason for this transfer?"

"I was nearby, I knew I could do it."

Erwin nodded. "Of course, I know you'd never leave someone out there unless it was clearly a lost cause. But still. She had been swallowed, Levi, for all you knew. And still you gave chase."

Levi glared. "If you're getting at something. Get there."

"When discussing her future after the incident with her father, you were pretty adamant about her remaining in the regiment. Of not being incarcerated for what was 'self-defence' in your eyes. And now this. Seems to me like Sanshi has made quite the impression on you, perhaps as more than a fellow Scout?"

"She's a damn good soldier."

"Who perhaps you see as more than that."

"I've not been fucking her, if that's the insinuation, Erwin." Levi growled, despite how his own mind wavered at the word. Foolish. Pointless. Asking for trouble.

"I'm well aware you're not. Hanji asked Sanshi herself."

Levi started. "She did what?"

"Sanshi asked after your condition almost immediately after waking, you had done the same for her after your injuries. It was a logical conclusion, old friend. Hanji pays attention. We all do, in our own ways. Romance isn't exactly an easy route in our world but–"

"So if you already know I'm not fucking Sanshi, what the hell are you–"

"Not in such blunt terms, perhaps, but is the reason for this extra effort in saving Sanshi, perhaps rooted in a want for more with her?"

Levi was ready to retort, to shut it down, to refuse the foolishness of Erwin's suggestion. But the nail had been hit on the head. And he stalled. He looked to his tea, then to his hands, the same hands that had clasped so tightly at her cape, had gripped his blades so tight when attacking that Titan that had dared to eat her. Dared? He swallowed. He thought back to his patrol, to the way her laughter affected him, to the way he thought of her bright hair in the wind. Shit. He was an idiot. A soft idiot who would get them both killed.

Erwin sat back. "Am I correct in thinking the other candidates, beyond Sente and Sanshi were satisfactory?"

Levi nodded, tongue glued to the roof of his mouth.

Erwin hummed. "Very well, I shall say that I have denied you the privilege of extra bodies on your squad and she will be given her own team. Or at least, the chance to train with one. I think she's shown good enough initiative and decision making to have that chance at being a Squad Leader. Agreed?"

Levi closed his eyes. "Thank you."

"Mm."

"Not a word of this to anyone, Erwin. Got it?"

"Not a word. Not even to Hanji, no doubt she would want to study you if she found out."

"I'm a damn fool." Levi opened his eyes and leaned on his knees.

"No, you're human." Erwin chuckled and shook his head. "I admit it surprises me, but it also pleases me as well. Romance is a tricky thing in our world, and often a distraction from the main goal, but… it can also help."

Levi was sure Marie's face flashed behind Erwin's eyes in that moment.

His Commander sighed. "But I also understand the want to deny it. Especially if you fear it's already affected your judgement."

"You don't?" Levi scoffed, getting angrier at himself the longer he found himself unable to deny the accusation. "I could have got my whole squad killed for the sake of a single life."

"That's not a certainty. It could well be you trusted your squad to take care of the threat, and you genuinely believed you still had a chance of saving a good soldier. Your affection being present or not, Sanshi is a damned good soldier. It would have been a great pity to lose her."

Erwin was being far too kind. Levi sulked into his tea and wished his heart would stop beating quite so quickly. It didn't matter if she was angry about being transferred, or if she disliked Levi for the decision. It didn't matter. So why was he worried?

"I am sorry." Erwin said and Levi frowned at him. A strange smile took to Erwin's face, a weary one, one looking into the past where regrets lingered. "As much as you like to convince us all otherwise, I know well enough that you're not meant to be alone."

"I'm not alone. I'm constantly surrounded by headaches."

Erwin smirked. "Mm, I suppose."

ROBYN POV

Stood in front of the Commander's desk, in his office, it was safe to say that my mind reeled. His words hung in the air, like drying washing, shifting in the breeze from his nearby window. My own team? What? Being removed from Captain Levi's squad, I get that, I screwed up in a big way and he doesn't want my infantile ass in his way, endangering him or his squad. But the fact they were also handing me a bunch of cadets to lead, made no sense. The Commander watched me as the information trudged through my mind. My own team. Whether to be astonished at the honour of being trusted with my own team, or to be miffed at being dismissed from the Captain's team without him even being present, debated in my head.

I landed on a confused squeak and subsequent coughing fit.

Ever the eloquent wonder.

That's me.

The Commander sat back and smirked. "I realise it's quite the turn around, but please rest assured that this is not due to any poor conduct on your part. If it was, as I said before the mission, you would be bound to the barracks. This is due to Squad balance and a recognition of your quick thinking."

I narrowed my eyes. "Quick thinking that got me and the Captain injured?"

"Quick thinking that saved your comrades, downed a couple of Titans and even got the Captain to agree to a medical waggon rather than his own horse."

My mouth closed.

Okay, he had a point.

"All right." I gave a salute. "Thank you, sir. I'll do my best."

"You always do, Sanshi. Your team will be made of your fellow classmates and a couple younger cadets; Isla Benon, Nadia Teron, Jacob Taten and Jon Stak. Do you know these names?"

"Vaguely, sir." I nodded, squinting slightly as the very faint bells rang in the back of my mind. I was bad with names, they all knew this. The Commander was no exception to that, and he handed over the list before pacing over to his window.

"They will be informed of the new arrangement this evening, so you may begin training with them and drills with them from tomorrow morning."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence, sir."

Bit of a fucking turn around considering he wanted me barracks-bound only a short while ago, but fine, I'd go with it. These decisions weren't mine to make, but now that they had been made, I could make the most of it.

I headed downstairs to where Mike was helping some recruits clean their gear. I waved and he sent them off to try by themselves, his nose already wrinkled. He was perhaps the only other person on base, other than Captain Levi who could spot a poorly maintained set of gear just by looking at it.

I jogged over and smiled. "Can I borrow your head for a moment?"

"Sure, what for?"

"Names." I held out the list. "Seems I'm getting my own team, and I can't for the life of me recall these people beyond a vague notion of 'yes, they're still alive… I think'."

He rolled his eyes at me and took the parchment. He scanned it. "Isla Benon, Nadia Teron, Jacob Taten and Jon Stak… Two of these were from your class, weren't they?"

"Sure!" I pinked. "Help me, Mike. I'm a terrible person I know, but I can't actually go up to them tomorrow morning and not know a damn thing. I'll be laughed out of my boots."

"Like you'd bow to that kind of nonsense." He scoffed and settled on a crate. "Beyond your inability to be sociable, congrats on the assignment. This because of the last mission?"

"Seems so." I joined him, leaning back against the hot stone of the barracks. "Makes no bloody sense to me, but hey, I ain't in charge."

"Gunter says you did well, he doesn't tend to offer praise lightly."

"None of them do." I closed my eyes against the warm sun. "I just… I dunno. It sucks that the Captain didn't even tell me himself that he didn't want me on his Squad anymore."

Mike made a non-commital noise, one that made me want to press for information, but I left it alone. He had known the Captain longer, no doubt he had some insight into the man that I didn't. Perhaps Captain Levi had even confided in Mike about it, about wanting rid of me. Who knew.

"Well, Isla Benon is the blonde girl who usually has at least two boys lingering nearby. Medium height, pretty, friendly, and has a decent technique on the gear, even if she's slow to actually get into things on the field itself. Ringing any bells?"

"Blonde with a gaggle of boys… I think so yeah. She's a bit spoilt, but I can handle that."

"Not like anyone can challenge you in the 'daddy issues' department." Mike snorted, and groaned when I elbowed him in the side. "Fair enough, I deserved that. All right, Nadia Teron, she's the quiet one with dark brown hair always up in a pony-tail. Freckles as well I think. Pretty sure she's friends with Benon, though was from the next year's class. Usually has a bit of a grumpy expression."

I shrugged. No idea. There was a vague notion of Benon, but Nadia Teron registered a big block of nothing.

Mike continued. "Jacob Tate, one of the golden boys of your class. Was expected to head to the MP's apparently, but signed up for the Scouts when his mother tried to set him up with some noble girl apparently. Or that was the rumour."

"Why do you know about rumours?"

"I'm nosy."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Did you just pun at me?"

"I did, good to know you're still paying attention. Finally, Jon Stak. He's from your class as well. Nice guy I think, pretty tall, sandy blonde hair, generally always eager to lend a hand or take a double shift if need be. Usually laughs with a snort."

"Snorter! Gotcha. Yeah I remember him now, could always find him in the training mess-hall, just follow the snorts. Okay, I have one definite good egg, and the others… remain to be sniffed out."

"Don't pun, you're not good at it." He leaned back and nudged my shoulder. "You actually feel up to leading a team though? I know you like to boss folks around, but it's a bit different when it comes to handing out orders that might get folks killed."

I swallowed hard and peeked at him, his keen eyes fixed on me, but the expression hard to read. In all honesty, I never knew what I was capable of. What was a rat able to do in this world? I never knew. It was why when the call for soldiers came up, I gave it a shot. Try to have a purpose. Move forward. Make something of this shitty life.

Fly Little Bird. You have to just take that leap and fly.

A smirk pulled on my lips. "I figured I'd do my usual, try my arse off and figure it out as I go. Whether to cover up the fact the Captain wanted nothing more to do with my sorry arse or not, the Commander's trusting me with a squad. That's gotta mean something."

"Erwin never does things lightly. Known him a long time, even if Levi wanted rid of you, which I highly doubt, Erwin wouldn't simply allow you to lead a team for that. Giving you this task means he thinks you're up to it."

I smiled. "Guess I better fucking measure up then."

He got up. "I'd make a short joke, but it would be too easy."

I flipped the bird at him and he chuckled as he headed off. "Thanks for the help, Mike! You pain in the arse."

"Any time, rager."

Thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying!