Hello! Sorry it's not Friday, between easter weekend making my week shorter and changing days off I totally lost track of what day it was! My bad! I think I'll aim for a double update this weekend tho, to try and make up for it haha, so either later today or maybe tomorrow I may pop another chapter up. Sorry! Hope you're still enjoying! ^-^ thanks for reading!

Fuck you Universe.

Rain lashed us as soon as we left the trees, it had been pouring for an hour before we had even managed to prepare to move out. Soup. We rode across soup. The horses did their best, but even with their training and experience they grew antsy as the formation continued. Sightlines were non-existent and within minutes of fanning out, we had lost track of any squads nearby. Only a few flares could be seen, very faintly, through the misted cloud cover. My eyes ached already, and we had only been riding for an hour. If a Titan came lumbering close by, we wouldn't know until the last few moments, and if an Abnormal was on its way… Good luck to us, I guess.

"How we doing?" I called to my team, determined to not have them lose faith in the mission now. We were on our way home, we were a strong team, a capable unit. We could do this.

They called back in varying degrees of wavering voices. Nadia sounded very unsure, and Jon was all nerves as he hiccuped and sniffed nearby. Fear. It grew so much stronger in the dark, or when sightlines were like this, feeding on the unknown. It bloated itself on our worries, and gorged on the fact we knew what might be through the mist. What might suddenly lunge out and cut our journey short. Damn them. Damn them for turning us into such small beings, such vulnerable toys. My Captain had been right; out here, at the end of the day, the only things to blame were the Titans.

Thunder rolled overhead and Nadia gave a small cry, soon sobbing against her horse as her nerves frayed. I understood, but it wouldn't take long for those whimpers to sink into every single one of us, soaking far deeper than the rain ever could.

"C'mon Nadia!" I called with a big grin. "Just a bad storm, we can do this! Big breath, keep going!"

She nodded, but the tears continued to mix with the rain, her teeth gritted against making any other noises. That, at least, I could be grateful for.

Her dark eyes latched onto me though, brows lifted in a desperate need to know. "How are you so calm?"

"Because I trust all of you!" I yelled back, keeping that damned smile in place. Trying to convince them as much as myself.

I was shitting it, there was fear flooding every system in my body, and a few tears had already escaped along my cheeks. Hopefully they had been hidden by the rain. In these conditions an attack would be awful. Our horses would be barely able to hear our whistles should they have to run off. And if they did, they could easily get lost in a bog. Then there was the fact that any trees, as small and useless as they were, were sodden, and therefore slippery. Not that there were many. Manoeuvring in these conditions was damned difficult, verging on impossible. This was as dangerous as it got on the field.

We pressed on for another hour, and as more thunder rolled overhead I saw shapes moving to our left, towards the outer ranks. Was it Titans? Or trees playing tricks on my sight? I called it to Jacob and he took a look for himself, calling back an uncertain conclusion. Shit. Send a flare? Then at the last second, I saw a flare peeking through the edge of a cloudbank. Red. Shit. I called to the others and sent our flare up. We had to be ready. That team might take it down, or the beast might leave a bloodied wake, or simply be charging right through.

Suddenly the quiet became deeper. Beyond the rain, hooves and thunder, it was like the world took a long breath. Come on. Reveal yourself, or be dead. One or the other. Make up your damned mind.

"Look!" Isla called, and we all followed her pointing finger. "It's Wall Rose!"

True enough, along the horizon a pale grey strip came into view; blurred and wobbling through the mist, but definitely there. Home. So close. And as much as the sight had me giving a whoop alongside my comrades, it sunk the cold into me. Closer to the wall meant more titans, which meant more chance of issue. Shit. We had to be ready. And the last time I saw the walls so close, when on a dicey mission, I nearly got myself swallowed.

I gritted my teeth. Not this time. No, this time it was my squad, my rules, my choices. I could do this. My team could do this. Like I had said before, I trusted them. And that had not been a lie.

A shape shifted on the left.

I barked the order.

We scattered.

A bellowing roar, far above the thunder, crashed into our ears. Then came a huge hand. It scrambled at the dirt, churning it under our horse's hooves. The horses wailed and huffed, and as I launched with Jacob, another Titan lumbered into view. Shit. Was it a swarm?

"You guys take down the Ten Metre over there!"

Barks of acknowledgement came from behind as I soared through the sheets of icy rain, alongside Jacob who was aimed for the wrists and knees no doubt. Risky, with the mouth being so close, but I trusted him. I fired onto the shoulder, launching higher, ignoring the pull on my waist as gravity tried to drag me back down. I heard yelp from Jacob, but kept going. He could handle it. Maybe he just slipped. Entirely possible.

Slice. Steam. The dying groan of a beast.

I landed in the muck and caught my breath. C'mon Jacob, reappear. Come round the steaming corpse, unmaimed and smiling. Please. The seconds ticked by. I could hear the others still on their wires. Still fighting. My lungs ached from the rush, and the cold water ran down my neck.

As I pulled my hood up, he appeared.

Shit, my knees nearly gave out from relief. I gave him a quick hug and we checked our gear. The other beast fell dead in the next moment. Brilliant. I whistled for the horses. The others gathered close, each with their sights set on the horizon, all around us. This close to the walls, it wasn't likely to be just two.

Thunder rolled.

Hooves approached.

A panicked whiney sounded and a hand reached from the mist.

"Move!" I yelled, and we scattered again, tumbling, scrambling, falling.

A four metre practically fell into our laps. I swung back, latched onto the steaming head of its dead predecessor and then took the midget out. I fired a flare. It wasn't likely anyone would see in this mess, but I had to attempt backup. Clearly we had attracted the enemy's attention. The word kept swimming into my mind. Swarm. I felt nauseous. No. Three did not mean a swarm. It was fine.

I fired again, purple and red smoke bleeding into the cascading rain.

Please. Someone.

The rain continued to pour. My team regrouped once another four metre fell to my blade, their wide eyes staring up at me before I returned to the ground. I doubted any of them had missed the oncoming steps. And not from horses. We had more company inbound.

But we had some time to plan. Though of course, as the rain drops rolled off the end of my nose, I knew well enough that this also meant we had time to think, which meant plenty of time to panic.

I had to keep them focused.

"We can do this, guys. Deep breaths. Any tall ones, I'll deal with, I'm best at manoeuvring past their damned hands. Isla accompany Jacob for all ankle and knee work. Nadia, you and Jon are on back up. Got it?"

"But Robyn," Isla sobbed. "W-We have no way of gaining height!" Her hands shook as she gripped her blades. "We'll be taken out in seconds, we should head for some trees."

"No time, and no way of knowing what direction that is."

Steps got closer.

She sucked in a breath. "But this is too much of a mess!"

"It's the hand we've got. We have to deal with it."

"But we can't hope to surv—" I turned and slapped her.

Her mouth wobbled like a fish out of water. At the best of times, mumbling wore my nerves raw. But in that moment, I couldn't have her wavering any further. Our chances were slim at best. Nihilistic rambling was going to drag it down even further. Wet your pants all you like woman, it's pouring rain and no one will see, but don't blabber.

It isn't my job to save them, but it is my job to lead them right now. Captain. What would my Captain do?

I gave a stern look. "Get it together, Belon. We can do this. Trust me."

"Yes, ma'am." She swallowed hard and nodded. Good girl.

I pulled my hood close. "We need nothing fancy here. Aim for the highest point you can, use the Titan itself for height. Adapt. Remember your training. Now move or we won't be able to do a damned thing."

We ran.

I tried to focus on my own task. My team knew what they were doing, they didn't need my hand holding theirs. No. They didn't need a babysitter, they needed a leader. Unfortunately all they had was me. I shook my head. Self-deprecation wasn't going to help either. You're their Squad Leader, they trust you, the regiment trusted you to do this, the Commander and Captain did as well… So bloody do it.

Another ten metre wandered into view. Big ugly brute. I launched and skimmed round. Its confused face swivelled in my direction, dull eyes following hungrily. Slow hands reached for my tiny shape amongst the pouring rain. No you don't. I curled round the clasping fist, skidded along the rain-slicked arm and sliced into the neck. At first I worried it was too shallow, but the body jolted and the steam erupted. Another kill. Perfect. I rode the beast down and got running.

Jacob was ahead of me, readying his launch onto a twelve metre.

Another one? Shit. No avoiding it now, this was definitely a swarm.

I sent another two red flares up, hand shaking as my desperation soared with the pigment.

Someone! Fucking help!

The ankles gave way, Jacob yelled out for my timing, and up I went. The angle was bad, but the creature was far more interested in the fact it was falling onto its own face. Speed was key. I soared through the rain, feeling more like swimming than flying. The beast moved. I had to relaunch and swing around again. Dammit. And as much as I shouldn't have done it, I looked across to where the others were yelling. I shouldn't have looked. But my eyes were latched on and staring. Shit. Someone ran across the ground.

Dammit Isla.

Screams echoed. Panic swelled with the storm. I tried to focus on my kill, slicing into another neck and riding another one down.

"Jacob? How're yo–"

"Robyn!" Jacob wailed, grabbed by the Twelve. It wasn't dead. Shit! How had I missed?

I dodged the other pawing fist of my target.

It wasn't my job to save them, but I had to try. Sorry Captain. Scold me later, if I have a couple squad members left.

The rain lashed down. I could barely see. But I kept moving, kept trying. The shoulder rolled into view again and I fired. My spine screamed as the angle wrenching my body awkwardly. But I had to try dammit.

"Hold on Jacob! I'm coming!"

I stumbled against the rain-slicked Titan flesh, its ongoing movement making it impossible to stay on target. They were considered mindless, but sometimes I swear they knew what they were doing. Evil bastards. I attached my anchors to the side of the face, and it roared. Shit! The whole body convulsed, thrashed me against its neck. Whack. Ow. My vision swam. My head rang like a bell. I was left dangling down the beast's front with a perfect view of Jacob's last moments. He screamed. Desperately, he clawed at the gaping mouth, his blades long gone. But there was nothing to be done. They were too strong. He screeched for his mother, for mercy, for someone to help. And then silence. Bitten clean in half above me. Just like that. It had all happened in a matter of seconds. And all because I had been too slow, too shallow with my first strike. And now Jacob was dead. Blood poured down, making me gag as it puddled into my screaming mouth – partly due to the sight, partly due to the sharp snap that had sounded in my ribs. Broken? Fractured? It didn't matter, Jacob was gone.

So quick, so pointless.

But three still to save.

There was still a chance.

Ignoring the pain, I retracted my wire, pulling myself up onto the shoulder. It swallowed. Bastard. I lunged, relaunched and swiped. The bastard died before he even noticed me. The nape of his neck fell in a streak of steam to the ground, with me soon following.

"Dammit, no!" Jon wailed, and as I began running in that direction, I heard a stomp, a leering groan and Jon's screams began to ascend. But no sign of Nadia. Why the hell was Jon there on his own?

I cried out. "Jon, cut off it's finger–"

More blood rained down, and I stopped in my tracks.

"R-Run… Robyn…" He pleaded, choking on his own blood. "Get… Away!"

"Shit." I spun. "Nadia! Isla!"

They didn't respond, but I saw them running. Away from the scene, away from danger, away from their teammates. What? Had they been here would Jon and Jacob have lived? Nevermind. Reprimand them back at base. Get moving. I whistled. I ran, keeping track of the beast behind me. I only had so much gas left, I had to save it for last minute manoeuvres.

The two of them stumbled away. Nadia clung to Isla, seeming to have some kind of leg injury. Maybe they had tried to help. Maybe I had been too quick to judge. I hoped so. If not, I would be sickened by them. I pushed myself harder, whistling for the horses again. My throat burned. My ribs ached. My head pounded. How had this all gone so bad, so quick?

Because that was how the world worked.

What're you fighting for?

My Captain's words echoed in my mind as I began to catch up with what remained of my squad. In that moment? I was fighting to see the walls again, to be able to think for a moment, to realise where I had gone wrong. To fix it? Except there was no fixing it. To avoid it happening again? One way to do that would have been jumping into one of those steaming hot gullets myself. Dammit. Just keep moving.

A fifteen stepped in front of me.

Shit. Time to dance I guess. It looked between me and them, and as Isla gave a desperate squeal, soon joined by Nadia, I knew I had to act. Right now they weren't soldiers. They were panicked children. It wasn't my job to sav– Who was I fucking kidding? Of course I would try to save them. I'm just that much of an idiot.

I fired into the fifteen's calf, using its forward stride towards the girls to build momentum. Or at least that was the idea. But it stomped down and sent me tumbling. Like a pebble over lake water, I skimmed, but with far less elegance. Mud caked into my hair, my clothes, my eyes. Move. Get up and move. It didn't matter that I'd been flung a couple dozen feet. It didn't matter that those ribs were definitely broken now, burning in pain, along with another couple of bones in my legs and arms. Get up and move. You do not die here. You have to save them.

I realised it had flung me in the direction of Isla and Nadia at least. In front of them. I must have soared over their heads. They were still running.

"Guys… Do you have any gas…" My panted question died as they ran past, barely looking at me as I hauled myself from the muck. No pause. No help. Just running. All their staring eyes cared about was the wall.

Fine. I turned and trudged after them, dragging my bad leg behind me. I wanted to throttle them for abandoning the formation, to pummel them into the ground for abandoning their comrades. For not trusting them. But I just focused on getting them out. They could be scolded once they were saved. Once I was cleaned up, given some decent pain-killers, and allowed a moment to breathe.

Steps followed.

I gradually caught up with the two of them. I didn't stop, just kept trudging, speaking between my bloodied teeth. "That fifteen is gonna reach us any second, you two need to be ready. I'm almost out of gas."

"Fuck that!" Isla half laughed, half screamed, totally hysterical. "We need to run!"

I whistled again for the horses but there was no sign. Clever beasts had run as far and fast as they could. Maybe they could smell death. Maybe they were already trampled. I grabbed Isla's arm as we continued to stumble forwards, holding firm as she wriggled.

I pointed my blade at her, trying to ignore the spattering of Jacob's blood left in the grooves. "You can't outrun a Titan."

"I can try!"

"Turn and fight. We can still do this. There's three of us, we can—"

"Fuck you!" They screamed in unison.

I staggered back, familiar thunder rumbling the ground beneath us. Nadia kept hobbling, swinging her blade at me when she wasn't using it as a crutch. I stayed put, having let go of Isla, her staggering onwards with Nadia.

"You did this." Nadia choked. "You killed them!"

She swung again, and released the blade. It soared right for my head. I ducked and turned away. Fine. Okay. I'll have to deal with this alone. Selfish bastards. But f-fine. It was just fear talking, not Nadia. She hadn't just tried to stab me, fear had. They could run whilst I fought. But as I tried to aim my wires onto the last Titan, something struck my back. They kicked off my gear. Due to its design for falling off on impact, thus avoiding damage and potentially allowing retrieval, it toppled to the ground a couple of metres away.

They ran.

Numbness crept into my bones.

What was the old proverb? You don't have to outrun the bear, you just have to run faster than the person behind you. I faced the lumbering monster. So close. My blood turned cold. Not because of the looming death, no, in this fucked up world I was used to that sensation. No, the frost creeping over my heart was there because of my team. Because of what they decided I deserved. The girls screamed as they outran my momentarily frozen self. It wasn't fear freezing me, it was clean-cut confusion.

How had this all fallen apart so quickly?

Everything is... fine? Lol, as always, shoutouts below for any reviews. Thanks for reading, following, faving, and reviewing when you guys have the time! I'm so glad I decided to give this story a rewrite, I am loving seeing the story play out in this new way and with my sharpened writing. It's a big win for me ^-^ anyway, see you next time! Prrrrobbably a second update this weekend. No promises, but I'd certainly like to!

SHOUTOUTS:

SolemnlySwear0905: Oh wow! Hello there! First of all, of COURSE I'm okay with a longer review haha, I genuinely love hearing from folks who have taken the time to read my work. So thank you sooooo much for your review, it was so heartening to read this morning. Really, you've made my week! It can be one hell of a boost to a writer to even get a nod from a reader, so a heartfelt message such as yours was a mega-boost within a boost! Anyway, onto your review!

You are quite the trooper haha, having gone through BOTH RBW and CW so close to each other. And I highly agree in all honesty, Robyn feels a lot more genuine to me this time round - but in all honesty, the first time was literally me just being a kid in a sandbox, reviving my love of story-telling. So this time she has a lot more polish and purpose I think. I did originally think of deleting the first story and simply redoing it, buuut that felt a bit mean to what the original Red Burning Wings meant to me and my writing, so my imperfect little bubba shall remain. I also looove that you said you were as irritated as you were enthralled haha, thank you, I genuinely take that as high praise.

You're so very generous with the praise haha, I am so glad you've enjoyed my writing and characters etc. that's a real win for me, so thank you for saying, it's a wonderful thing to read. Alexia will always have a special place in my heart, the sass-pot she is. As for the ending of this one... I shall say nothing! But I do intend it to be better paced all round - I got into a bad loop at the end of RBW originally, writing for the sake of feedback and it wasn't good for me or the story. So this time it's all planned out! And it is intended to go further in the canon story than it originally did as well! ^-^ so yah, I'll say that much haha! I'm honoured to be considered anyone's fav author, like wow, that's one hell of a feather in my cap, seriously. Thank you! And yes... I apologise (but also don't ;) ) for my endings... heh... whoops? I am, as you likely know, not much of a romantic pfft, but I fully appreciate that you've stuck with me despite the uh... endings... pfft. I hope you enjoy Flight From Darkness if you do give it a shot, would be thrilled to see what you think of it - but I make zero promises on its ending. I think anyone genuinely attached to AOT has to have some form of masochism going on... right? So you're not alone!

Of COURSE you can pick my brain ^-^ feel free to private message me, though notifications on here are definitely a bit whacky atm, I got no indication that I had another review on this story, I just happened to notice the number had gone up, and I'm so glad I did! So! If you do message me, and I don't immediately respond, just wait till the next update as I'll deffo notice a message when popping on to do the next chapter for the story. I dunno if it's their servers atm or what, but yeah the email notifications have NOT been coming through for me lately. So yeah, all that is to say, happy to help you with your story if I can!

Thank you sooooo much for your review, it means a hell of a lot, it really does. I am doing my best not to be crestfallen when chapters get no response at all, but I admit it occasionally makes doubts spring up; is it boring? Is anyone reading? Have I just buggered this version up? But no, evidently it's going just fine, and I need to stop overthinking haha. So yeah, you made a real difference in my day today, so cheers, you're good people. Thanks again, looking forward to hearing from you, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! Cheerio! ^-^