Hey there, sorry for a couple weeks with no updates but here you go!

Mission day. Or at least, the beginning of our journey – to reach Shiganshina, to retake Maria, to make these lands ours again. And the basement. The sun was shining, and the city was buzzing with anticipation. So much rode on this mission, on our success. To finally take back Maria, to seal the hole, to reclaim land for Humanity. And perhaps, to learn about our enemy at last. Be that the Titans, or the invading Shifters. But I had never seen so many townsfolk out to support us, clapping, waving, cheering our names and wishing us luck. It was surreal. I joined Levi in one of the elevators, slowly rising up the wall with the gentle grind of gears next to us. My hand brushed his. He laced his fingers with mine and held tight.

"Ever felt this believed in?" I asked, finding myself a little choked up.

"Mm, yeah." He smirked, giving me such a loving look I couldn't do anything but drop my gaze and blush. "Though having said that, it's on a whole other scale. So not quite the same."

"You just wanted to make me blush, you dick."

"Maybe. Does suit you."

"Jackass."

"Tomato."

I hadn't expected him to be in such a bantering mood, but perhaps he was just trying not to think about everything that laid ahead of this mission. Of what this day could mean. Maybe we would see the real horizon soon. Maybe even the ocean. To stand on the brink of so much was daunting. I hoped Armin's books were right. It all sounded… Beautiful. Was that meant to be our reward after struggling for so long? After losing so much? To see a beautiful world that had simply been waiting to be rediscovered. I trembled. How hard was I daring to tempt fate?

Before we left HQ, Keza had held each and every one of us tightly, even Levi. He hardly responded, a couple of taps to her back at most, but I knew he was touched. She was hard to deny, my Keza.

But when it came to the Commander, she gave him a gentle peck on the cheek and put her hand to his chest. And then she slapped him. "I love you, you selfish bastard. Now go get that fucking dream."

"As I love you." He dipped his head, put his hand over hers, both bearing a gold band, and then turned away. No doubt they had enjoyed a longer goodbye before he left his quarters that morning, but I was still glad to see them being so open about their connection. It was sweet. It also made me nervous. Something else very much at risk.

Standing atop the wall, waiting for the horses to be lowered on the other side, we all lined up and looked over the crowd. Many waved. Most cheered. It was heartening, it was daunting, it was bloody weird. A couple Scouts waved. Perhaps to friends, to family, or just to civilians. The Commander raised his arm, eyes bright with determination, and he cheered. A huge bellowing roar. It rippled through the ranks, sweeping everyone up in its defiance of the world. I found myself joining in. It was reminiscent of the bellows of Eren's Titan – not in actual noise, but in the way it reverberated with our refusal to die. This was our stand. Our time.

And then the moment passed.

We descended the wall into Maria.

We readied ourselves atop our horses. We looked ahead to the plains. To Shiganshina. To answers. Whether we ended up wanting to believe them or not.

"Here we go." I swallowed hard and patted my horse's neck.

The plains were relatively empty initially, which was odd as we had such a gathering by the blocked gate, but it was a welcome surprise. A few signals rose into the air as we hit the one hour mark, but thankfully no blacks or reds yet. Just greens and changing of course. We would be riding into the night as well, taking it in shifts to sleep in wagons as the procession progressed – using the glowing crystal from the Reiss cavern had been Armin's brilliant idea and it would save us a lot of time. Not only were we going to be able to travel without the threat of regular Titans, but we might get the jump on our shifter enemies. Maybe. We were also very aware of the anomaly that took down Nanaba and her team, when those Titans managed to move beneath moonlight instead of sunlight. But so far, it had still seemed an outlier situation. So far. But as Scouts always knew, assumptions just meant death.

As dusk fell, I headed towards the front of the formation, our procession thinning to a column as we headed into the woodlands leading towards Shiganshina district. They hugged the mountain that was a few miles from the main gate. We would be there by morning. I caught up with Hanji's squad and let her head for a wagon to rest. Levi would relieve the Commander, and so on and so forth. We had a long way to go, but everyone had to be as sharp as possible once we made it to our goal. There was no telling what we would find on the other side. An empty shell? Hundreds of Titans milling around mindlessly? A sea of shifters, eager for our blood? My mind reeled as the darkness oiled around my eyes, bit back by the crystal lanterns, but never fully diminished.

And if we did get there, and did seal the hole, and did defeat our enemies, there were all the other implications of this trip. Dr Jaeger's basement. And Vincents. Jaegers was more important for the bigger picture of course, but it seemed more and more likely that Vincent's might reveal a new angle we hadn't previously considered. Or at the very least it might help me decipher how to be rid of this 'control' that had been threatened by Kenny, and that troublesome cadet that stuck me with a syringe. I had kept brushing it aside when it came up in meetings, but as Levi pointed out, it was only a personal problem until I was controlled and told to murder every Scout in the HQ. It was a dramatic example, but his point was made. We had no idea what could be done with this control. Why it had been perhaps implemented. And who the hell wanted to use it.

Armin relieved me as the hours rolled by, and as I clambered into a wagon, I was glad to find Levi already there, settling down with his cloak as a blanket. He smirked and patted the space next to him. Others would be joining us any moment, so it was hardly a romantic moment, but I was glad to be able to sleep beside him. It was definitely when I managed my best form of rest. Be it that he made me feel safe, he was warm, or perhaps a bit of both, but I never slept deeper. Okay I'll admit it might also sometimes be because he fucked my brains out before we got to the sleeping part – but that was hardly going to be happening in the wagon, with Moblit and Jean right beside us. I snorted to myself and curled closer to Levi. He took my hand in his and we slept, the roll of the wheels really quite calming.

What would the morning bring?

How many would be lost?

Would it be worth it in the end?

As we rounded the mountain, I found myself dragged back in time, to the day I saw Shiganshina burn. I had been alone then, but today I had my comrades around me. Things had been so uncertain as I watched smoke rise and heard screams ring out, now I knew my purpose, even if I couldn't know how the day might end. And I had been on the outskirts. The edges of the madness. I looked but couldn't spot Eren, Mikasa and Armin in the convoy. There was no telling how hard this would be hitting them. Their home, the one they had seen crumble from the inside as they scrambled to escape. And Eren, watching his own mother be devoured. This place had been the beginning of this new world for everyone within the walls, but it was their pain's core. I hoped they knew how much we were all behind them.

The surrounding area was wild. Overgrown, unkept, it was amazing what nature could accomplish in a few short years without man trampling around the place. We saw no sign of our enemy, but we took no chances. Orders were kept to speaking level, being passed along the line. No flares were used yet. We had no reason to believe the enemy wouldn't be watching out for us, or even keeping a tight patrol on their area, but we could at least hope being quiet and moving in the dim pre-dawn light, might help. Maybe. It was a shot anyway, and the best one we had.

Come on you bastards. Let's finish this.

As much as this place had seen enough of bloodshed, I couldn't deny how much the bloodlust was rising in my gut. I wanted this fight. This battle had been a long time coming. And with it we might finally take back some space for Humanity, some dignity. So as careful as we were being, there was a sense bubbling under the surface, everyone was ready for a fight and they wanted it. As we rode closer, Levi reached and took my hand for a moment. There was no telling what might unfold from here. We would stick to the plans, and find each other afterwards. Assuming we hadn't been killed. But that was no different to any other mission. I squeezed his hand and let go. Time to work.

The horses were stowed away and the convoy spread out. There was a team for the inside of Shiganshina and the outside, to avoid us all being in one spot to be picked off. Again, not much of a help, but a little. I was part of the interior team and headed up onto the wall. Levi would be helping the exterior, keeping careful watch over the plains of Rose and any potential attack from the likes of the Beast Titan. He was our biggest threat. Sure, the Colossal and Armoured were hardly pushovers, but we knew even less about the Beast. He had made Titans move at night, as far as we could tell. He might have created Titans from civilians somehow. And he had been gathering information for who knew how long. Being in the dark wasn't an unfamiliar feeling as a Scout, but I didn't often have such an intelligent enemy to be dealing with.

Stood atop the wall, I stopped and breathed. Shiganshina. It spread out before me, sprawling and unkempt. Crumbled homes, destroyed buildings and overgrown streets. It looked a mess. But it was still home. Or at least, one of them. I had grown up there, survived there with Keza, been forged into the person I was today. Now, I stood over the city's corpse. My own ghosts were loud enough, but as I glanced across to where Eren stood, hood up to hide his identity, I knew his ghosts would be deafening. He looked in a very specific direction and his jaw went tight. His childhood home? Where his mother had been devoured? Perhaps. Or he was more focused on the basement at that moment, because if he didn't, everything else might overwhelm him. It wasn't the time for sentimentality, but fuck it. I went to him and squeezed his arm. He smiled briefly and nodded to me, nudging me with his shoulder.

The first round of patrols came back with no immediate sign of issue. So the next phase began. Eren ran with his team, another sent to act as a potential decoy. He would seal the wall. This was it. I held onto my blades tightly, willing them to run faster, to get there quicker. But really, all I could do was watch and hope. At this point, at least. I took a long breath and went onto one knee, laying a hand against the stone of the wall. Or whatever it was actually made of. I felt the odd warmth and sighed. Titans were inside, holding it all together, and the irony was not lost on me.

I meandered closer to the space directly above the gate. The only place I had been on the walls before I was a soldier. Me and Keza had taken it upon ourselves one hot summer day, to sneak up here and see the world. The light had been starting to dip over the wall, but up there it had continued to blaze. The kind of golden afternoon you only see in memories. We hadn't been seen until the last moment, but those precious hours atop the wall had been priceless. I knelt again and brushed some dust away. I grinned. R & K. It had taken a long time to do it, but we managed to carve our initials into the stone, seeing it as some great rebellion I guess, or maybe a promise. I traced the letters. Those two little girls, bonded by spilt blood, friends to their core, would they believe it if they were told what was to come? If someone sat them down in that golden light and explained how far they would go. How much they would thrive, how much they would lose. I laid my hand flat. But that was just it, why we had to keep going, wasn't it? For those little girls. For the promises made. For the dreams dreamt.

Dammit, I didn't expect this mission to make me so thoughtful.

"Strange to be back?" The Commander rumbled beside me, having just sent another team to search for our enemy. Some items had been found down below, kicked from the top of the wall in all likeliness. A couple of cups with a dark liquid inside, and evidence of a fire. They were here somewhere. And had been recently. But we couldn't panic, that was what they wanted.

I stood and nodded. "Very. Though nowhere near as much as the kids, I'm sure. My own memories of this place are far less haunted."

"Or haunted in a different way." He murmured, giving me a solemn nod which I returned. "I never really got the chance to say it at base, Sanshi, but thank you."

"For…?"

"For your words in the meeting about my coming on the mission. Perhaps I should have been more forthcoming with you at the time about why I could empathise with your drive for your promise so wholeheartedly but… Well it didn't seem appropriate."

I raised a brow. "Of course not, you barely knew me then. Sorry sir, but don't be foolish. I'm not owed your personal stories at all, I'm honoured to know them, but don't expect them."

He chuckled. "Keza said you'd say as much. It's gratifying to know so assuredly that you two have that deep a bond."

"She'll never be abandoned." I smiled when he did a small double-take. He hadn't explicitly said 'look after her' but I knew it was there between the lines. As much as she feared for his life, he wasn't ignoring the danger either. He knew how easily he could die. And now he had someone waiting at home to mourn him. Perhaps that scared him more than the actual dying.

Preparations for the team with the horses were done, at least that's my assumption when Levi appeared, returning to the top of the wall for a follow-up. He nodded to me, and I returned it. As much as I wanted to be near him, it wasn't what we needed right now. Right now it had to be the soldier before the human.

The Commander cleared his throat. "Levi mentioned your theory about Vincent's work perhaps holding more answers."

"It could be helpful, yeah, or it could be the ramblings of an abusive drunk."

"Or both." Levi pursed his lips and continued to scan the town below us.

The Commander continued. "Regardless, we should find out."

I eyed him. "Mhm?"

"Sanshi, do you think you could get to the basement of your childhood home alone?"

Levi jolted. "Oi, that wasn't part of the disc–"

The Commander held up a hand to his Captain. "We have to have a team for Jaeger's due to the boulder sitting on top of the house, and to ensure there are no sneak attacks in the meantime. But for Sanshis that isn't an issue."

I looked across Shiganshina, towards my home halfway up that small hill, a few streets away from Eren's own home. 'Exposed' would be putting it lightly.

My throat pinched. "You want me to go alone?"

"Indeed. But keep your hood up."

I clicked my tongue. "Another diversion too, gosh that's efficient."

"If they see it's you alone, for all we know, they might try something with you. We can't guarantee the recent syringe attack wasn't them."

Levi scoffed. "Funny how you're turning that into some kind of advantage here."

"Captain, we need that information."

"And we could find it later. Why the rush?"

"Sanshi is key to this situation because of her connection to it, and right now she's not serving that purpose. She's looking out, like twenty other Scouts. It's a waste of her talents."

I rolled my eyes. "Mhm, we also know they'll be on the look out for Eren trying to reach that basement. So me heading down there is enticing for the enemy as well, if they're watching."

"It isn't without risk no, but–"

"I'll go."

They both blinked at me; Commander soon smiling softly and my Captain glaring at him. I pulled my hood closer and readied my anchors for the first shot.

"Good luck, Sanshi."

"Likewise, sir."

Levi gritted his teeth. "Don't take any stupid risks."

"Of course, sir. Looks like you're about to have your hands full anyway." I nodded towards a concerned looking Armin. Seemed like he had had an idea on where our enemy was. And that meant things would soon be moving.

I launched.

Time to do some digging into the past I'd spent so long trying to bury.

Cheers!